Paul Catchlove

I wrote this journal entry in 2013.

I've been sleeping restlessly for months.

There's a constant feeling of tension in my body.

I love ministry as a Catholic priest, the opportunity to share my faith with people and support them as we journey through life together.

But I have a desire to share my life with another person.

I knew in discerning ministry that celibacy, not getting married, was part of the package.

but I don't know if I can do this any longer.

I'm rarely alone, but I feel bitterly lonely.

I wrote this when I was on the cusp of making one of the biggest and most significant decisions of my life, whether to leave ministry as a Catholic priest.

I think my life has been a reasonably unique and unusual one.

Now, in my early 40s, I've had careers as an opera singer, a Catholic priest, a corporate lawyer and now a management consultant.

And when people hear the careers that I've had, the most common question I get asked, maybe the one that's on your mind, is what on earth is the connection amongst it all?

Through all of these changes, through all of these careers, one constant has been present, the practice of reflection.

Now, people may think that reflection is something that happens in a dark private room by candlelight or flashlight to purge one's deepest, darkest secrets.

But I want to bring this practice out of the dark and into the light.

I want to share how this practice can help our everyday lives and especially our work lives.

I want to share how this practice helps to improve performance, to make better decisions, both big and small, and to build better relationships.

Interestingly, in a 2020 survey of some 4,000 respondents conducted by BCG and BVA, the question was asked, what makes a good leader?

What are their main qualities and skills?

Notably, possessing a good capacity for reflection was listed as one of the top five skills, the others being empathy, listening, consideration and team development.