Patty Wetterling

So I was, I was trying to figure out now that my kids were all in school, what was I going to do next? And so I had gone to a guidance counselor or not a guidance counselor, a career counselor. And so I was really receptive to getting help because we were facing something that really no human being should have to face. And it's hard to make sense of anything. For example,

So I was, I was trying to figure out now that my kids were all in school, what was I going to do next? And so I had gone to a guidance counselor or not a guidance counselor, a career counselor. And so I was really receptive to getting help because we were facing something that really no human being should have to face. And it's hard to make sense of anything. For example,

Um, everybody said to me, I bet you just want to keep your kids, just hold them tight, never let them out of the house again. And for me, it was the opposite. I saw absolute terror in these kids' eyes and I didn't want them to be afraid of this big old world out there. You know, I wanted them to, to live freely and have confidence. And so I would have to encourage them.

Um, everybody said to me, I bet you just want to keep your kids, just hold them tight, never let them out of the house again. And for me, it was the opposite. I saw absolute terror in these kids' eyes and I didn't want them to be afraid of this big old world out there. You know, I wanted them to, to live freely and have confidence. And so I would have to encourage them.

You can go with Candace and her parents will bring you home, hold hands. and you'll be okay. And to just, you know, give them confidence that they are, because without a sense of safety, kids can't stand really well. That's, you know, basic need is Pavlov's, you know, hierarchy needs feeling safe. So we had to work on that. I would often drop one of them off at a friend's house and,

You can go with Candace and her parents will bring you home, hold hands. and you'll be okay. And to just, you know, give them confidence that they are, because without a sense of safety, kids can't stand really well. That's, you know, basic need is Pavlov's, you know, hierarchy needs feeling safe. So we had to work on that. I would often drop one of them off at a friend's house and,

turn the corner and just fall apart because it was hard, but, but they needed that. And, and I wanted them, I wanted them to, I wanted them to, hang on to the world as it had been a little bit as best we could.

turn the corner and just fall apart because it was hard, but, but they needed that. And, and I wanted them, I wanted them to, I wanted them to, hang on to the world as it had been a little bit as best we could.

Yes, I do. And I most of us shy away from the word closure because you really can't go back to who you were. It's got answers. I like I like the word answers a little bit better and answers help. There was a nagging, nagging. sense of not having the answers was really hard to live with. And I was driven. I was, I was driven by, you know, gathering information.

Yes, I do. And I most of us shy away from the word closure because you really can't go back to who you were. It's got answers. I like I like the word answers a little bit better and answers help. There was a nagging, nagging. sense of not having the answers was really hard to live with. And I was driven. I was, I was driven by, you know, gathering information.

And then with each thing I learned, I was a teacher before, you know, I taught junior high math and I love math because you figure out a problem, there's an answer. But, but this was something that was, I would gather information and then I had this inner drive to have to share that with other parents. And, Fear is not something that keeps kids safe.

And then with each thing I learned, I was a teacher before, you know, I taught junior high math and I love math because you figure out a problem, there's an answer. But, but this was something that was, I would gather information and then I had this inner drive to have to share that with other parents. And, Fear is not something that keeps kids safe.

There's no research showing that scared kids are safer. So we tried really hard to take away the fear and teach kids how to interact with other individuals so that they would know and trust that sense of something's not right here and get away from dangerous situations. So taking away the fear was a big part of why I would go out and speak. Yeah.

There's no research showing that scared kids are safer. So we tried really hard to take away the fear and teach kids how to interact with other individuals so that they would know and trust that sense of something's not right here and get away from dangerous situations. So taking away the fear was a big part of why I would go out and speak. Yeah.

And, and I, you know, I, I, to this day, I, I still think, you know, it's a, it's a thing that scares parents the most. And yet they believe, you know, it's like fear of strangers and that we learned is, is not the, the, the biggest source of fear. Really. It's most often someone, you know, that harms a child, somebody knows a child or the family, at least casually.

And, and I, you know, I, I, to this day, I, I still think, you know, it's a, it's a thing that scares parents the most. And yet they believe, you know, it's like fear of strangers and that we learned is, is not the, the, the biggest source of fear. Really. It's most often someone, you know, that harms a child, somebody knows a child or the family, at least casually.

And for us, it was a total stranger, but, we didn't know that till the very end.

And for us, it was a total stranger, but, we didn't know that till the very end.

Yes, absolutely. And, and I, I love that. You know, there's a really sense of, um, being alone. You know, I was so alone. I didn't know anybody who had a missing child at, at that point in my life. But there's comfort in sharing with other parents, their trauma, their journey and supporting one another. I met a woman whose son was 15. He'd been in a terrible car accident and he was in a coma.

Yes, absolutely. And, and I, I love that. You know, there's a really sense of, um, being alone. You know, I was so alone. I didn't know anybody who had a missing child at, at that point in my life. But there's comfort in sharing with other parents, their trauma, their journey and supporting one another. I met a woman whose son was 15. He'd been in a terrible car accident and he was in a coma.