Nora McInerny

It's so uncomfortable, especially if it's someone else's grief.

So a part of that work is this group that I started with my friend Mo, who is also a widow.

We call it the Hot Young Widows Club.

And it's real.

We have membership cards and T-shirts.

And when your person dies, your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, literally don't care if you were married, your friends and your family are just going to sort of look around through friends of friends of friends of friends until they find someone who's gone through something similar, and then they'll push you towards each other so you can talk amongst yourselves and not get your sad on other people.

So that's what we do.

It's just a series of small groups where men, women, gay, straight, married, partnered can talk about their dead person and say the things that the other people in their lives aren't ready or willing to hear yet.

Huge range of conversations.

Like, my husband died two weeks ago.

I can't stop thinking about sex.

Is that normal?

Yeah.

What if it's one of the Property Brothers?

Less normal, but I'll accept it.

Things like, look, when I'm out in public and I see old people holding hands, like couples who have clearly been together for decades, and then I look at them and I imagine all of the things they've been through together, the good things, the bad things, the arguments they've had over who should take out the trash.

I just find my heart filled with rage.

And that example is personal to me.

Most of the conversations that we have in the group can and will just stay amongst ourselves, but there are things that we talk about that the rest of the world, the world that is grief-adjacent but not yet grief-stricken, could really benefit from hearing.

And if you can't tell, I'm only interested in slash capable of unscientific studies.