Nevaeh
Appearances
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
I mean, like, there are groups here and there, but it's not like the, oh, you can't sit with us, you're not that type of person.
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
We met in seventh grade, and we went to the same school for seventh and eighth grade, and so we were really close. And then ninth grade came along, and I moved schools, but we still kept in contact, and we still, like, talked all the time.
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
And just said that she was in this really, like, messed up group chat with her friends. It was late at night and I was tired, so I didn't really, like, I was like, oh, OK, if it's really that bad, you should leave. I'm going to go to bed.
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
She texted me and she was like, hey, like you were in it. And I was like, oh, I was in it? Like, what's it about? And then she told me she was just like, oh, they're like bad stuff. They're like selling like people. And I was like, oh.
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
My first reaction was, how much did I go for and who did I go to? Full honesty there. And she said that I went to her for free.
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
And at that point, I was like, oh, like, I was sold. Like, I don't know how bad that is, but I assume it's not the best. And so then I asked my friend to give me a screenshot, and she did.
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
And then just then and there, like, everything, like, hit. I was disgusted to the gut. Like, it was just like, oh my gosh. Like, I joked with these students before. Like, I couldn't believe that they would think of typing something that they thought, like, it would be okay. After, like, everything with Black Lives Matter this last year, it was just like, wow, okay.
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
They've always been nice, and I've always hung out with them a lot. And I thought that we, like, kind of had the same viewpoint and opinions on a lot of things. And so then when this whole thing happened and they started to say, oh, why are people still talking about it? Why is it such a big deal? That really showed me like, oh, we disagree on such a big topic here, like racism.
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
Like, where do they stand? And should I let something like this determine my friendship with someone or not?
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
The text said, Like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I've had other students come up to me and be like, he's really sorry. He is scared of you now. He is good. Yeah, he's scared of me now. The second time he sent me an apology, he was like, oh, I want to be friends with you again. And I was like, okay, like, I'm cool with being friends with anybody.
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
And then it just got weird because it felt like, I mean, there was something we couldn't discuss between each other. And it was a thick line between us that it was just like kind of awkward. And so I just stopped talking to him.
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
she's like hey like I know how wrong like what he did but I am friends with him and I've told her like hey like I'm not gonna be the one to tell you who you can and cannot be friends with like if you want to be friends with him you can be friends with him and I've just been like hey if you if but if you are friends with him you have to understand and consider the fact that like I'm not going to be around as much like I'm not going to hang out with him when you're hanging out with I'm not going to hang out with him at all in general I think it's just hard for her to like
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
I'm not going to be a baby about this. I can be mature, and I don't have to speak to him. I'm not going to make a big deal out of this. So then I was just like, okay, I want to watch the game, so I'll stay.
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
Then I just, like, I stopped, but I, like, turned around and I was like, Really? And then he looked at me, and his mouth just dropped open. And then his friend started like, Nevaeh, Nevaeh, you don't need to bring that up. Like, come on. No, no thank you. Like, he's already been through enough.
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
As much as I'd like to think she wasn't the type of person to do this, all of these people who were in the group chat were her friends. She hung out with them every day. She was surrounded by them all the time. She FaceTimed them. She joked with them all the time. And they made jokes like these all the time. The guy who started it, that was his personality. He was just a rude person.
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
racist person um and so if she's surrounding herself with such rude racist people like that eventually and she's gonna adapt that and adopt that kind of behavior um i mean i learned it in psychology so sorry
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
And I was just like, hey, like, can you just straight up be honest with me right now? Did you say something about me? Have you participated in this group chat? And then we got into a bit of an argument. She called me rude and low for ever suggesting a thing. And that I was just like a bad friend for even like thinking that.
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
And then I was just like, OK, if you she told me that she wasn't involved in it, I don't know what to think about it. And so I just was like, hey, OK, I'm going to distance myself from you. And that was it.
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
It may really hurt me. I think that if... I see it. I can handle it and I will handle it. And I just it just give me closure, not only like for me, but like closure, like if Katie participated or not, because I'm still questioning that. Was it the right decision to just cut Katie off or was I just paranoid, you know? What else was—I mean, I, you know.
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
And so just seeing if Katie participated or not and then seeing what else was said about me, those two things will just give me, like, the most closure ever.
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
There's so much information behind these black squares. I just, wow, really. I just, like, cross out their names, but show me what they said.
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
It's really frustrating to look at these just like tons of black pages and just boxes that are completely... Then again, I just want to know what they said. Like, I don't realize, I don't understand how, why that's so difficult to just like hand it over to me. I was in this group chat. I was a target. And so...
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
I feel like as someone who's in the group chat and talked about in the group chat, I should be given the right to see what else was said about me because, you know.
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
It just makes me question, like, maybe Katie was telling me the truth and here I was just brushing it off because of how strongly I was focused on finding out if she was in it or not. So I guess, if anything, it just makes me question myself more and my judgments more.
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
I don't understand how, why that's so difficult to just like hand it over to me.
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
I love fiction writing more than anything. I could not write poetry or nonfiction. And then I'm also really interested in psychology. I've taken that class for this is I'm on my second year taking it now. I find it really interesting.
This American Life
758: Talking While Black
I love learning about like why people act the way they do in certain situations. Like the brain is cool, but I'm more on to like the behavioral aspect of psychology.