Nate Corddry
Appearances
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day
And how are profit-hungry retailers cashing in? I went undercover for some reason to find out. In just 18 short centuries, we've gone from honoring the bloody decapitation of a religious martyr to dogs in boxer shorts, and innocent balloons turned into wanton displays of sexual perversion. Do you have a St. Valentine's Day section? St. Valentine's? Well, we have Valentine's Day cards. No, no, St.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day
Valentine's Day cards. Not specifically for St. Valentine's, no. Yet another example of the War on St. Valentine's Day. Bastions of the Ivory Tower media elite like Harlequin Publishing would have you believe that it's all harmless fun. I've been out to the shops to see how people want us to celebrate Valentine's Day. How do you explain these?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day
It keeps your juices flowing. All you people think about is sex. What about Saint Valentine? Huh? What about him?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day
Isn't romance expert just a fancy way of saying slut? Haven't seen enough? You won't believe what's going on in our schools. Heathen craft projects. Pagan decorations. Someone had to put the saint back in St. Valentine's Day. Now I'm gonna starve you. What? Wait, what do you mean? I'm gonna strike down the wrath on you, buddy. I'm gonna kick your butt with my sword. No, no, please don't.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day
I'm just trying to follow God's love. You went against me, and I'm gonna cut your head off with this sword right now. It was a lesson they'd never forget, and the school encouraged me to spread my message elsewhere. So remember, keeping Valentine's Day saintly begins with you. First, instead of giving flowers, sit quietly and reflect on the sacrifice of St. Valentine.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day
Second, don't take your loved one to a fancy dinner fast and reflect on St. Valentine's martyrdom. Third, cards are fine as long as you use them to paper cut your neck St. Valentine style. If we follow these simple steps, maybe one day, the great St. Valentine will be honored with the same reverence and respect of his brother, St. Patrick.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day
February 14th, the day when we pause to remember the martyrdom of Saint Valentine. As everyone knows, he married couples in defiance of the Emperor Claudius II. For that, he was brutally beheaded. But what was once a sacred holiday has been turned into a secular orgy. That's right, there's a war on Saint Valentine's Day.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day
A little lingerie. It's a far cry from the St.