Narrator/Aviva de Kornfeld
Appearances
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
This story starts with a little tenderness. Alan Martin's a real nature lover, spends as much time as possible hiking around the mountains and birdwatching near his home in Vancouver. So it pained him when he had to cut a big tree down in his front yard, because he didn't want to disturb any of the animals living in it.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
But the tree was starting to rot, and he was afraid it would fall onto his house. And so, like the sensitive environmental scientist that he is, Alan waited until autumn, when he knew that nesting season was over. And then, just to be extra careful, he brought in an arborist to assess the tree, to make sure he wouldn't be messing with any little critters' homes.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
He got the okay and hired a couple guys to cut the tree down while he stood by, directing them this way and that.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
Out of the corner of his eye, Alan saw the crow fly past him and he thought, did that crow just hit me? It hurt.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
Alan thought, OK, maybe this crow didn't live in this tree, but it must have meant something to it. He knew that crows are really smart, but they're also very vengeful birds and territorial.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
This smaller crow snitching on Alan to the bigger crow, this is a real thing. I ran Alan's story by a crow researcher named Loma Pendergraf. Loma said that if a crow sees something it deems dangerous, it'll sound an alarm to summon other crows. And if they agree there's a threat, they'll dive bomb. This whole routine is called mobbing. Some people attacked by murder of crows, they'd be angry.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
Science actually has an answer to this question. It turns out crows can hold grudges for a very long time. Back in 2006, John Marsluff, who is a professor in wildlife science at the University of Washington, he set up an experiment to test this. He put on this ugly orange ogre mask and walked around an area where he knew crows lived.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
And then he captured a bunch of the crows while the rest of the flock looked on. Then he released them. The point was to distress the crows, but not hurt them. And then, for the next 17 years, every time he put on his ogre mask and walked around the place where he first captured the birds, the crows would swarm him. For years, each time he returned, more and more crows would join in.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
Because crows not only remember their enemies, but pass their grievances onto their crow children and grandchildren. Alan was not aware of all of that. So for weeks, he'd leave his house every day, hoping the birds had finally forgotten about him. No such luck. So he tried a new tactic.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
Just a PSA, there are other ways to ward off an angry crow, should you not have a wig on hand. You can hide yourself under an umbrella so the crows can't see you, or you can wear sunglasses backwards. Apparently, crows understand that sunglasses go on your eyes. And they know that if you can see them, you can potentially hurt them.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
So they won't attack the back of your sunglassed head because they think you have an extra set of eyes back there. Anyway, Alan's disguise, it was working perfectly for him.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
It sounds like you're developing a whole kind of relationship with these birds, almost.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
Alan decided he had to make amends with the crows. A real truce. But how do you do that? How do you make things right with a couple of birds?
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
Food. You know, the tool of every animal trainer that's ever lived.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
The crows caught him loudly while he puts the plate down. He goes back inside, and a couple hours later, Alan sees the plate sitting there, empty. The almonds are gone.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
The crow researcher told me that it seemed like since Alan had merely stressed the crows out and not actually hurt them, it might have been easier for them to forget why they were mad at him in the first place. Alan said the whole thing, having a couple birds angry at him, kind of hurt his feelings. It's not like he's naive. He knows nature doesn't care about his feelings.
This American Life
851: Try a Little Tenderness
It's just that he loves nature so much, and his intentions were good. He can't help but feel like it would have been nice if the crows had shown a little tenderness towards him.