MTV Jesse
Appearances
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
For some reason, it's such a big thing, religion or God. It's this massive thing. But the way that you, it seems like you let in and asked him for help in that moment. But what made you do that was hearing someone... You compared it to someone talking about, I can't even say a wife or a girlfriend problem. But like...
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
like thinking about him as like god as like a person like a relationship with a the same way you would fix or start a relationship with like i've never really thought of it that way of like Yeah, it's just interesting.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
loved it i think it's a great way for people to grow up yeah um and uh but but really since i was a kid not to just jump right into it but like since i was a kid i've always like
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
makes me open my eyes a bit. I've had a lot of conversations like this, but it is insane when you look at every moving part and how perfect it has to be to not fall apart. The world has problems, but it's insane.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
every like even just like a human body like the amount of things that have to be perfect for it to like yeah and does that just happen does like is that just over time rock rub against rock and it like slowly engineers to like something else or is it or does someone like like what is the uh and i don't want to be offensive at all yeah i just like i haven't had been like
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
of had big dreams i saw like a bigger picture i really didn't like the idea of just like falling in line of like get a job get married do this like i just like and i didn't have many people where i grew up to like relate to that especially when it came to internet and uh um and it took a while to like really figure that out but it wasn't until i came out to california and like
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
I'm cause I am, I'm open-minded to absolutely everything. And the, I think what it is is I've always been a, I just fall on my nose with everything in life. Um, projects or like literally everything. I just like, I, whatever the interest is that always like guides me. And, and, and when it came to religion, as I got older and it, I, I,
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
I've never wanted to force it, but I've also never pushed it away. So I, uh, I think it's like this conversation to me is just as interesting. Does that make sense? Like, it's like the, um, yeah, I don't know where I was going to go with that, but basically no, no, it is interesting to me.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
And I, and I think that like at the right time, whether it, I would become religious or have my own understanding of it or, um, or become obsessed with it or dive into it. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I just, I know that like that's slowly kind of happening where I'm like, it's just, it's more interesting than it's ever been.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Cause I've like, for some reason growing up, never had an interest. And almost to the point where I like did push it away. Like it, it was almost like a repulsed by, but I think that became an identity issue where I think people can do this where with a lot of things, but like you get it in your head, like that you're like, I'm not a religious person.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
And then you're like, so anytime someone or something tries to open that door, you almost like, Yeah. You're stopping it.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
like it just happens so quick when you're out here. Such a change that I just like, it's funny to have that dream and then you come out here and it's like actually like that. And I think it really just came down to like, people having similar dreams, you know? And just you try to have those conversations back home and they wouldn't really go anywhere.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
no then jesus it's almost like being on a diet and then you eat in and out and then you're like oh well i my whole diet then like yes you know i mean like yeah if that's kind of what you're saying is like the idea of like you you commit a sin and then you're like well i'm already like now i don't care about any of this kind of thing is is there like a piece like a book or something that
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
And then when I came out here, I just felt like, dude, it's like you're at a coffee shop, you're at whatever it was. It's just like, you can talk about like YouTube or this or like a TV show or that. Like everyone was trying to create something. I don't know if LA kind of lost that a little bit, but like when I came here, it was like, I got a little taste of that. That was really cool.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
if I'm interested in it, like that you would be like, Hey, I would, this one really hit me for like opening my eyes to like some stuff. Like, is there something you would recommend?
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Uh, I had a, my first like thing I did when I was like 15, I had an MTV show in Canada and it was like a wannabe jackass type. No way. Like stunt show. And, uh, did that for a year. And I think I literally made my Instagram handle that. At the time, just like, I was like 15. I was just like, oh, like people will be able to find me because it'll be like, that's the Jesse guy from the show MTV.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Like if I had crazy anxiety, what is it that... Is it actually the act of God removing that? Or is it something that you're letting go and believing in that makes you more at peace so you don't have the anxiety?
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Yeah. It was almost in like, I almost just thought like you almost felt like an outsider back home. You were like, Oh, like, like this isn't cool to think this way or to like, like think outside of like working for your dad's farm or some shit, you know?
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
So you grew up like on a farm. Yeah. Yeah. It was like a 150 year old farmhouse. My mom rented, um, and, uh, they like would bail hay and do all that. And sometimes me and my brother would help out to pay for rent. And then like, but it was like the true experience. Like we didn't own our own farm or do any of that, but like, um, definitely was around all that, you know?
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
not really i mean i was i was baptized and um i think i was like born into it on my dad's side like like italy italians and stuff and my parents got divorced at a young age and my mom took took us like up north like just to a small town and we left uh like a big city i was in and she was never really religious very spiritual though yeah she's kind of a hippie yeah
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
beautiful woman like my mom's awesome like big heart and like uh but i think she was more like what really instilled in me when i think of it is like signs and like things having a meaning and like watching for those things. I don't know if that makes any sense. I see what you're saying. I, I, I do it to this day.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
And I think like, I don't know how that would be connected to religion, but like, I know that like, I'm definitely, uh, like aware that things happen for a reason. And like, I like to, I don't even know if I fully believe that, but like, I play into it. Like I want to, like, it's almost like the lower of it is it like literally happened today.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
If you do something wrong. Yeah, people would see it happen.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
And I like, I will, it'll change like my decision-making if like a sign, something like stands out. Like, why did this, why am I seeing that? Why am I hearing that? For sure. What, what's that connected to like today? Cause like I had one that was like, sorry, I don't want to just go on a ramp, but like, like one that happened today at the gym that,
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
was trying to see what it's connected to and it might even be connected to like this podcast and this conversation especially around like religion because like i've never been religious my whole life and i think i almost created an identity around not being religious a little bit and um in like the last like year in my life it's been the most i've been like
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
i'm trying to just be very aware of like whatever does stick out to me i think it's always like my like what what what do you get out of it and like uh yeah be like jesus is definitely like the thing that's uh yeah the most interesting or the most like it's like yeah it's connecting to me for sure it's like a less about believing in my mind right now and more about like
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
I live a lot of my life on like based on who I look up to or what inspires me and all these things. And that's like an interesting way for me to like go about it. Yeah. You know, just like learn about that man and then like try to be like that man. Sounds like a cool way to enter that door, you know?
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
open-minded to it and trying to have more of a clean slate and not like certain things I've just like kept in my head or said that I'm like I'm this way and this is the way I think like I'm trying to really just be like Welcoming to anything, you know? Yeah But like never forcing it if that makes sense to just kind of like following my nose.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
pretty wild yeah i see that you see what i'm saying i think it's a really good way to to view it yeah and and i mean like well do you think anyone that listens to your stuff is like not religious or would get anything that's why i'm trying to be actually like as like transparent as i can be about this because like i'm sure i would want to watch that i would be like oh like
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
yeah, that's how my brain works too. When I hear that or that's how, you know what I mean? It's like literally I'm just trying to spit out anything that like is coming to my mind when you're saying these things and learning about this. But the main thing too is just also like, like I said about like interest is like, I think that's what lacked before in my life.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
And you just know a lot about it obviously. And I just think like, that's where also like at some point I think for me that'll like, I just have to like be interested and, uh, and then like, and it might even be helpful. Like friends I have and I mean you, anyone that can kind of also like recommend what things were like, Hey, I would check this out. Hey, I'd watch this film.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Hey, I would, you know, do this, uh, this prayer, do this, you know, like whatever it would be to, it's the only way you're gonna kind of open the door, you know? Absolutely.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
You think it just goes all black? Yeah, I always, I mean, dude, I'm not stuck in anything, like any belief, but yeah, I've just like, I've thought about it as like, Again, just, like, my mind goes, like, so logical where I'm just, like, I'm a fucking machine that when the battery runs out or the whatever, it's just, like, it turns off. But, like, what do you think when I say that?
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Would it have just been the Wild West? Would it just have been... If there was never a real reason to like why you shouldn't sin. Yeah. It's a great way to put it. I never thought of that.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Yeah, but I was watching this like Oscars clip today where Conan O'Brien had this whole bit of like not wasting your time. And he made a whole song and dance about it. And he just kept saying like, I'm not going to waste your time. Don't waste your time. Don't waste your time. He's like, there's a whole inside joke of it. And then I took my headphones off and I'm like laughing at it.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
And right as I take my headphones off, this guy that was doing this like class.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
That, like, the idea of stop living for yourself is the most interesting thing to do with God for me.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
But the, back to how this conversation started, and I'm just trying to be, like, again, just transparent.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
I think that people will, like, someone out there will be able to maybe relate to it. But, like, and because I'm also just figuring it out. But, like, that's another thing that, like, It's like, I don't know why I'm calling it the bullshit meter, whatever it is. The thing that makes me like stops me from is like the idea of what you just explained to me.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
If I was creating like a business model or a marketing scheme or like whatever, it's like what better way than to create this thing that also like without having to even enforce it creates like a great community and people to not break laws and to do all these things or else you're going to go to this awful place or this, like in my head, that's also like, it's like, it's funny.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Cause then it's like, that also just makes a beautiful place. So I understand that. But then again, it's like, because it makes so much sense to just be good. Like it like creates good people in a great environment and polices things and all that. I could think of why someone outside of God or something would create this to, like, create a good world. Yeah, yeah. Does that make sense?
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
like literally right as i cut off he said okay guys don't waste your time and then like starts his class yeah and i was just like like what's like that's one of those ones where i'm like what's the what's the chances of that you know and it whatever it is is like it made it so that i like really stuck with me like this guy's singing this song to me just keeps repeating those words and i take it off and then another guy who's not connected to this at all just says it again yeah and
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Yeah, I understand what you're saying. If you're not thinking about God and it being real and you didn't, like, grow up in that or, like, you haven't clicked for you on that, like, if, like, I'm, like, on the fence of it, like, that's, like, another thing in my mind that goes, like, oh, like...
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
it would make sense that this is like, I guess like it is manmade, but like, you know, like someone would create this to, to, uh, there's like so many things that it gets out of it.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Then he becomes your strength. but where, if you're being a good person to not just not get, go to hell. Yeah.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Yeah. And so then it's in a way you're not like not going to do these things because they're worthless, but you're going to like continue to do as much as you can to try to be useful, like it are worthy in a way.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
I was just like, and then I just left it as like, kind of became like this kind of nickname.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
How am I not supposed to take that as like something or someone is trying to say like, yo, don't waste your time. And I don't know. So it made me think of that. Where do you think those signs come from? For me, that's where it gets tricky to understand. I think I'm a very logical person.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
And for you, you strongly are like, I know that God died for me. And I love God. Yes. Because you're logical.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
I'm trying to think of what is the, like we're two humans sitting here and it's like, like why, what, what am I like kind of missing or is the like, why do you feel that way? And I don't feel that way. I guess I don't want to say I don't feel that way, but I don't understand it. Yeah. Like what is the difference? Why are you here?
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
And, um, and then operate off of like those values only. So that like, Because I had a moment of that where I've been doing this stuff for a long time.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
And I had a little scary moment there where it was like you're sitting in your home and you're everything you work for, everything you wanted. But it was the first time in my life I felt like, it was, it was terrifying that like, I've always been filled with purpose and I had a moment of like, uh, like zero purpose.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
And it was like very scary. It was, you said you had everything like life was going great.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Yeah. And realize that it was like, I had nothing. And, uh, and it's like the second time that's happened in my life for two different reasons. But the, um, For me, I guess it wasn't... It might, after the conversation, there's more of a relation to God, but... it really was a very simple list of values that brought me back out of it. And they're not crazy things.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
person like I might the way my brain works like I think I call bullshit on a lot of stuff I think anything that like feels good or sounds good my mind wants to call bullshit on it does that make sense I've said this to other people but like and I'm like and I haven't really got like people to connect on it but that's kind of like an issue I've had with religion and like letting myself into religion too it's like if something just feels
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
They're things that, to a degree, you can control. I had to literally just make my screensaver on my phone and just say, like, my dad, my fucking dog, my home, just whatever. So I could just see that every day and be like... Like, I don't know.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
I've, I've definitely been a person that like my purposes came from my projects and, uh, and letting go of like, that I have to accomplish these great things in order to fill this like thing. Right. And it's like, it's almost like the same way that I can like stop myself from religion by calling bullshit on it. I can do that with myself and purpose and projects and all these.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
I can also step out and be like, you're making that all up in your head that these things matter. And that these, you know what I mean? And like, so it's weird. I know it's like you said, like if it goes all black, then like, what is this all for? What was your purpose? But like my mind can also go to like, is that wrong either to not have like, like, and this sounds bad.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Cause like, I do believe that purpose is like super important, but like, like outside of everything. It's like, maybe it is just existing and that's okay. Like, and maybe it is about playing the game and just going along with like the, the, the system that you're creating and we've all created. Yeah.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Maybe it is also, even if you don't fully have it click or understand religion or God, maybe it is like, well, like my experience either way by living this way will make me a better person and live a better life and have less anxiety and all these. But then it still is coming from a place of like you. I'm like making these decisions based on like how it'll benefit me, which is weird.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
And again, I don't know if any of this really makes sense. I'm just trying to like spitball on like- how i just think it's so wild that someone can believe something so in my right there your life is like around this yeah and then i can believe something and like my life can wrap around this yeah and like what what is the difference is it a higher power that's actually doing it or is it
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Yeah. Dang. That's so, that's so interesting. I feel like a lot of people don't know your last name. No. Yeah.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Because I'm also a big believer that we are all just our past in a way that the next word I'm about to say out of my mouth is because of every second of those 31 years that I've been on this earth that has led to a response.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
like your chances of what like that would be part of your like hey you might be an alcoholic it runs your genetics and all this right but like but that person also got into this sport that led to him being a fan of this person that said the right things that made them go i'm going to be different and i want to work on that like it's like i feel i really think it's just like this pattern of things
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Like every little second matters. Everything you see, hear, feel creates the next moment. It's like the thing I'm like, I'd say out of everything like that is like unsure of and kind of like along for the ride a bit. Like it's like the one thing that I do believe is like logically makes the most sense, but I don't know what that is. You know?
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
And I think that in a way some people could say like, that's like God's plan or it's like life's plan or it's like, it's just your experience here. It's just like, I like it because it also... If I think that way, in the same way that religion could create a better world, not just your world, but a better world for everyone, I think when I think that way, it makes me put a lot more...
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
too good to like help you i didn't know this is going to sound really wrong or like really bad but like it's like Of course, that's why people would want to do this or believe this. You know what I mean?
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
equity in what i do in inspiring or even not like so this hundred thousand view video could you know change people's lives more like why i would like go out of my way to like answer this dm to this kid or like to this guy in a coffee shop that's having a hard time and just like talk to him it's like it makes me actually care about all of those moments because i know that like
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
the butter like i don't know like the butterfly effects another thing i mean for sure the first tattoo i got on me like that movie i was like obsessed with is the idea of like you can that everything makes everything that's going gonna happen and that like one little thing that if you changed it could change the outcome of so many things sure but i think that that also adds so much power to like why like why you should do it too yeah that you can affect yeah
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
But then also is affecting other people's lives for a positive... Is that good? Or is it like, does everyone have a plan anyways?
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Yeah, or once I can understand why people would follow it, I'm almost like, my brain wants to call bullshit on actually believing in it. And this goes for a lot of things in my life that I sense that I do this with, but...
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Yeah, I think so. I've thought of that as I got older and was like, oh, should I change this eventually? And I was like, maybe it's nice to just have a nickname, you know, like have a fucking nickname. Not many people know my real name.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Cause when I've asked people, I do, I'm like, I hear that a lot. And that's, yeah, I'm sorry. I'm kind of like thinking out loud, but like, that's good. That is true. It's just like, why can't that just be enough for your mind to kind of like believe it or tip?
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
It's so simple, but it's also so big. It's like, yeah. Like it's such a, how is that not enough? You know? Yeah. Kind of thing. But,
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
I think then that might be good for people to hear maybe. I think the idea that you don't have it figured out can also make you repulse or pull away. Yeah. For like anything in life. Yeah. Yeah.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
I can see where you're coming on that. I just the. I don't know if that's connected. I think that's a very real thing too.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Yeah, dude, I appreciate you having this conversation with me, man.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
That I've like navigated through and I'm, and I really actually don't enjoy, like there's been a lot of times where I've almost, I've wanted to leave LA cause it is very transactional here. It is very like, everything is about connections and like climbing the ladder and kind of using each other. And I don't like that, but I think it's like, the best way I can describe it is like,
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
I guess that's true. I guess any kind of mindset you have comes from something.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
It comes from your past. Yeah. And why would I not just be able to... I guess it's the fact that I could just go, hey, that makes sense. God created everything or whatever it would be, right? It's like I could go, yeah, that adds up and that feels right. And I could just like... Be like, yeah, that's what I believe or that makes sense enough to me for like to believe it.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Maybe because it's so easy for me to actually do that.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
For you personally, is it the evidence that makes you believe or is it like an actual deeper core? Just like just feeling that you're like, no, God is with me and God is real. Like, are you or do you think it's a bit of both? It's definitely both.
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The MTV Jesse Interview (EP 88)
Cool. I mean, I was, I'm from Canada originally and, uh, grew up like in the sticks real North of like Toronto, Ontario, real small town, like to the point where it was like, I think it was called like a Hamlet. It was so small. Um, and, uh,