Monica Parker
Appearances
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
And you've just perfectly encapsulated how wonder shared is wonder multiplied. Even though those people perhaps didn't know that they were sharing that experience with you, you were sharing it with them. And by watching them experience it, you got that little dose of it as if you were experiencing it again for the first time.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
And so I think that's a perfect example of one of the reasons why we love to have these wonder experiences together, why people go to church as a group, why people like to enjoy music and gigs as a group, because that sense of wonder, that sense of awe, that sense of exploration and discovery can be shared. And it has an impact then that is greater than the sum of its parts.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
I think that I can appreciate why people would think that and even the original folks who were studying this. So if we go back to even Maslow, his idea of a peak experience is really a wonder experience. And Maslow believed that peak experiences were rare and fleeting. But towards the end of his life, he believed that in fact, we could find them quite frequently.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
Some of the all researchers also in the beginning believed that awe was always only rare and fleeting, but now they've found that those rare and fleeting moments can have the same benefit as these quotidian moments because it almost becomes aggregated. It's these little moments that
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
add to each other and can still have the same impact and so again it's it's about shifting the lens and saying it doesn't only have to be that if that's your choice it can be but what i want to encourage people to do is really instead to have a mindset in which we can find it anywhere
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
It is absolutely true. It's true for a couple of different reasons. First, one of the key components of wonder being curiosity. We are naturally less curious as we age. This is simply, again, because we think that we've discovered everything there is to discover. But of course, that's erroneous. There's so many things we can discover. But curiosity is a bit like a muscle.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
The more that we practice it, the more then that we will be able to experience curiosity. So if we can hone that sort of curiosity muscle, then we will find more things to feel a sense of wonder about. But we are dealing with a more calcified brain. We're dealing with neural pathways that are very set.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
And we're dealing with more schema, building blocks that have decided, well, I know everything there is to know about the world. But I think in that there's a little bit of hubris as well, you know, a little bit of ego to say, well, I've seen it all. But of course, if we, again, approach things with the eyes of a child, we can find those elements to feel a sense of wonder about.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
But there's no question that it is harder than it is for children. And that's one of the reasons why I believe we feel such a sense of wonder watching children experience those things for the first time. It's why we get so much joy watching babies and children, you know, have those experiences. Yeah.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
And that's that sense of mixed emotion. Another one of those is nostalgia is a mixed emotion where we can reflect back and consider both the positive and negative. And it's really positive that it's beneficial for us.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
There was a piece of research done where widows and widowers, if they reflected on their deceased loved one and remembered both the positive and negative elements of their relationship, they were more resilient. They were better able to manage their grief. And so what we know is if we choose to receive both the
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
positive and negative, as opposed to sort of a toxic positivity pushing always towards being happy, then that gives us a greater what's known as chemo diversity. It means that we have a better portfolio of emotions to access, and that's really helpful for us.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
And so what you're talking about is sort of this mixed emotion where there's a little bit of a poignancy of remembrance of happiness, but also of struggle and sadness. And having those two at the same time is really, really helpful It also shows that it makes us more tolerant people because we're able to see nuance in the world as opposed to everything being black and white, happy or sad.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
What the research says is that it doesn't actually take that much. There's some experiments that have been done where people looked up just at a grove of trees for two or three minutes and they were able to have benefits. Or people watched drone footage of something that was awe-inspiring and they were able to have benefits that lasted for several days. A 20 minute wonder walk
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
gives people benefits for up to a week after. And so it really can have a significant benefit. And what makes a wonder walk a wonder walk? Again, you decide it is. You simply choose to not ruminate on what's going on outside of that walk. And you prime yourself to say, I will find something on this walk that will give me a sense of wonder. I will look for things that give me a sense of wonder.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
And that can give significant benefits. And so it really, the additive, small aggregate moments of wonder that we have over time can impact us in a way that I think we really don't appreciate.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
Thanks so much, Mike. It's been wonderful.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
Hi, Mike. Thanks so much for having me.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
Yeah, so wonder is a fascinating word. It's sort of something of a shapeshifter. So we have wonder that is the verb to wonder, which might be how we described curiosity. But there's also wonder that's the noun, which would be a catalyst for, say, the emotion of awe. And so my definition of wonder is really connecting these two concepts into curiosity.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
a single emotional experience that starts with openness, moves into curiosity, then absorption and awe. And it's really almost even a cycle because each time we experience one of these components, the more likely we are to experience them in the future.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
Yeah, because it's really an incredibly beneficial emotion, both psychologically and physiologically. It makes us more creative, more desirous of studying the world around us. It makes us more humble, less materialistic, more generous, better community members, people who are higher in the component. Elements of wonder tend to have healthier relationships. They perform better in school and work.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
And what's really, really fascinating to me is the physiological benefits. What we found is that there appears to be a direct biological pathway between wonder and better health because it lowers what are known as our pro-inflammatory cytokines, which are markers of inflammation and connected to things like heart disease and Alzheimer's.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
It also lowers our blood pressure and our cortisol levels, which are our stress hormones. So really, really positive for us, for both our brains and our minds.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
Because it's really an incredibly beneficial emotion both psychologically and physiologically. And what's really fascinating to me is there appears to be a direct biological pathway between wonder and better health.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
Absolutely, and that is wonder. And even one of the things that I like to tell people is to try to approach life like a child. As a child, they're always adding new experiences and what are known as schema. So they're basically building the lens through which they see the world. And one of the challenges is that as we become adults, we sort of have decided we already have
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
all the information we need, and we decide that there's not so much wonder to be seen anymore. But if we can see the world through the eyes of a child, always beginning, almost that Zen precept of to always be beginning, then we are able to recapture that sense of childlike wonder.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
I can appreciate sort of that take, but the reality is that I think that's a perception that we have because there is so much to feel a sense of wonder about. And there's no question we can't see Mickey Mouse again for the first time. We can't see the Grand Canyon for the first time except once. But what research shows is that we can, if we choose to see it, find wonder in the quotidian.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
We can find it in our day-to-day lives. And that might be just a perfect sunrise or a beautiful autumn leaf, but really it's about the lens through which we choose to see the world. It's about a mindset.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
But what the research shows is that if we prime ourselves to find wonder, and it can be a single sentence prime, I'm going to find three things to feel a sense of wonder about today, then our brain will commit greater cognitive resources to finding it.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
And so certainly priming can help, but over time as it becomes a practice, neurons that fire together wire together and will start to create these neural pathways where we will recognize wonder more often. I don't see it as onerous. I simply see it as another thing that is good for us and fun to do.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
So one of the main ways is it's something that psychologists call small self. So anything that we experience that feels a sense of vastness, and that can be a sense of emotional vastness or cognitive vastness, where we say, goodness, this makes me feel like a small component part of a bigger system. That's really how we start to tap into wonder.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
And that's where we start to get the benefits of wonder, where we get that that neuroplasticity where we start to feel pro-social emotions, which are the helping emotions like compassion and empathy. And so really, if we have that experience and consider where we as a human connect into this bigger cosmos of the world, that's where we start to feel that sense of wonder.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
yeah it's really just to say this makes me feel small this experience is so big that it makes me feel small and that idea of small self to to appreciate the the immensity of that moment and not to become habituated to say, oh, well, there's a sunrise every day. It's not a big deal. Instead to say, look at this incredible opportunity we have for another day.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
Look at the beauty, how it changes all the time. To have that sense of vastness is really where we're able to connect and then say, but that makes me feel small. And when we feel smaller, it makes our problems feel smaller. It makes us connect to other people more deeply. And so really, it's that opportunity to say that I am only a small piece of such a bigger, magical puzzle.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
That is probably one of the main components, absolutely, that sense of small self. There are other aspects of it, certainly being absorbed, being fully present, not trying to, really trying to shut down that chattering mind that we all have. So that's one of those things as well, if we can, actually be present in the moment and not be thinking about, well, what's our to-do list for that week?
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
Other ways we can do that, of course, is by deep curiosity to explore in our own minds the cognitive elements or the intellectual elements of what we're experiencing. But really probably one of the key pieces is that smallness.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
Sure, and there's an expression that says, after the ecstasy, the laundry. There's no question that there's life that we have to deal with and that this is a moment in time. But there are ways that we can extend and deepen the impact that it has.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
Simply by taking time to recognize it, while it might not have felt like it changed you, the research would show that that does linger, that that has a longer term benefit than just that moment. But also there are other ways that we can help extend that.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
If you were to share that experience with someone else and say, I saw this incredible double rainbow, then you're basically telling your brain to experience it again. If you were to journal about it or write about it, then you would have that additional experience once again. And so there are ways that we can extend that experience or magnify it.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
And there absolutely is research that shows that wonder shared is wonder multiplied.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
It's not a have to, it's a choice if that's something that helps you connect to it. Everybody has a different way that they connect to wonder. And so if for you, you want it to be ephemeral, you feel that for you wonder is something that is rare and fleeting, then that can be the way that you experience wonder. Those can be your wonder bringers.
Something You Should Know
The Transformative Power of Wonder & How Money REALLY Works - SYSK Choice
For other people, they want to have that experience be multiplied. And so they want to share it or they want to journal about it. And we do know that having Those opportunities to journal or to share it with other people does extend that experience, but it's really very personal. And so for you, if you want it to be rare and fleeting, then it can be, but it will still have a positive impact.