Monica
Appearances
20/20
I Have Killed For You
He told me I was fat, disgusting, so fat and disgusting that nobody would want to have anything to do with me.
20/20
I Have Killed For You
Roger is looking out the garage door, like, making sure Nathan has left. And he turned, and he acted like he was going to have normal conversation. And he reached over to the back of my head, grabbed my hair, and jerked me. And then dragging me around by my hair with his right hand, he was hitting me in the head with the taser gun.
20/20
I Have Killed For You
He drags it up my neck. He looked shocked. And I was screaming, Roger, don't do this. Roger, don't do this. I started screaming, Nathan! Nathan! Screaming for Nathan as hard as I could. Screaming for help. Nathan, unfortunately, had already left early for work. So then I knew all my help was gone. And I remember when he hit me up here. He hit me and drugged. And the shocked look on his face.
20/20
I Have Killed For You
And he had this shocked look on his face. It's like he was surprised that I was still talking.
20/20
I Have Killed For You
I had blood. Pretty much every place that these things are, I had blood smeared.
20/20
I Have Killed For You
I was just thinking, don't get him agitated. Talk him down. And I said, Roger, you've been a good dad. You were a good husband, but you're not the man that I married 30 years ago. And he'd said it before. He said, I know. I'm not that same person. He said, I am a monster. He said, I have so much anger and hate in me, and I can't control it no more.
20/20
I Have Killed For You
As soon as I got in my car, I hit the lock button, put it in reverse, and took out.
20/20
I Have Killed For You
He says... I've been thinking about just going out into the woods and never coming back.
The Daily
Do Trump Voters Like His Tariffs? We Went to Michigan to Find Out.
I'm a Motor City, Detroit homegirl. I love building cars.
The Daily
Do Trump Voters Like His Tariffs? We Went to Michigan to Find Out.
I ended up going with Trump. Basically, what it came down to was I feel like Trump is going to keep U.S. manufacturing going strong.
The Daily
Do Trump Voters Like His Tariffs? We Went to Michigan to Find Out.
Tariffs aren't great, but if a vehicle built outside of the U.S. costs so much more than one inside the U.S., then maybe we'll just keep buying American. It's a Hail Mary. I don't think he's going to fix everything for us.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Become a Victim of Your Circumstances
Hello. Thank you for taking my call today.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Become a Victim of Your Circumstances
I am just extremely worried and hope that you can help me break down what I currently have in retirement. to maybe give me some peace of mind that at the age of 67, I may be able to retire frugally. How old are you now? I'm 56. I'll be 57 in April.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Become a Victim of Your Circumstances
Great. Great. Well, I'm going to tell you the salary that I make currently is $47,840. Okay. I currently have an IRA that has $47,702 in it, and I contribute $200 per month to that IRA. I have a CD that I locked up for 13 months at 5% interest. It currently has $36,022 in it. I have a Roth IRA in a job I started a year ago.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Become a Victim of Your Circumstances
It has a $2,581 in that I am contributing 8% and set it up for a 2% per year increase until I reached 15%. And then in my savings, I currently have $12,237. I put 20% of each check into that savings account. I do not have any debt. I'm debt-free, but I do not own a home. I went through a divorce in 2018. It took years to pay off my debt to get to where I am now, debt-free.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Become a Victim of Your Circumstances
Very minimal, because I live with my significant other. He doesn't have a house payment, so I just pay utilities. We split utilities. We split groceries. So... you know, maybe, maybe 1200 a month.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Become a Victim of Your Circumstances
I'm, I am so open to that. That's why I wanted to talk to you today.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Become a Victim of Your Circumstances
I am completely, I live very frugally. The only thing that I spend a decent amount of money on is good organic produce and grass-fed meat.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Become a Victim of Your Circumstances
I would love that, but the significant other is 60 years old and never been married, never had children. I'm working on that. We're both Christians, and I'm not feeling comfortable with the situation that we're currently in, living and we're not married.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Become a Victim of Your Circumstances
He is $100,000 a year, but he retires next July.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Become a Victim of Your Circumstances
I think he said he'll be able to, with what he has in his pension and retirement, he'll retire with like $50,000 or $60,000 a year. So it's not a ton.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Become a Victim of Your Circumstances
And I'm going to tell you, to be honest with you, I have so much anxiety over this that it's been a year that I can barely sleep because it takes the enjoyment out of my life because of this constant fear and worry. I know none of us know about tomorrow, but you still have to have a plan.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Become a Victim of Your Circumstances
Well, first and foremost, immediately I can increase my Roth to 15%.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Become a Victim of Your Circumstances
Or look for another job with a higher salary.
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Become a Victim of Your Circumstances
I have a pretty decent amount in Social Security right now, which probably won't be there, but...
The Ramsey Show
Don’t Become a Victim of Your Circumstances
for years i made six figures it's just the rigorous travel in the sales that i was in i just couldn't deal with it anymore i was on the road you know four nights a week who told you there's no sales roles that you could do without traveling all the time no one yeah she just i get it you downshifted i i get the downshift but hey you downshifted now you're on the other side of this and you got a lot of experience my guess is your resume is very impressive
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
Hi, my name is Monica. I'm 34 years old, and I want to know how to handle my girlfriend's sister who hates me.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
There are things that she has talked about and pointed to, but overall, I'm not really sure.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
All of it's through my girlfriend. All of it is her like complaining and crying to my girlfriend. And then my girlfriend tells me about it. And we have not like directly interacted at all.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
It is affecting our relationship. She really is super close with her sister. It's like her baby sister. And she wants us to all get along and do fun things together and go on trips together. So the fact that her sister keeps complaining about how awful I am
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
and all these different things is really like upsetting for her and wants me to, you know, maybe censor myself or kind of adjust how I'm working with her.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
Well, like the most recent thing was that I said that her mom's dog stuck.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
And yeah, the dog does stuff because she, And the whole family complains about how the dog steps all the time. It's just like a running thing that he's a puppy. He's not trained. He doesn't get enough exercise. So when everybody complains that he's the worst, it's fine. But when I said it, she said it was a personal attack on her and she was crying about it for four days.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
And then after that, there was a point where her mom was saying how the dog is the worst. So this is the owner of the dog was saying, oh, my dog is the worst. And I said, oh, well, you know, don't tell so and so. And she went around and told my girlfriend's sister I said that. And so then that caused another shit storm for like a week of her crying that I'm
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
making fun of her behind her back and everything. I also, I taught the child, my girlfriend has a four-year-old daughter. I taught her the word lesbian. That was a whole shit storm. She didn't like that I did that. She didn't like the reasons.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
My partner thinks that her daughter should be allowed to say the word lesbian since she is a lesbian.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
She kissed a few boys in high school, but other than that, she has been super gay. She had a sperm donor. She's been married to a woman in the past.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
She said it was because she doesn't want the child to be saying that at the playground and then other people...
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
hear her and they don't want their kids playing with her and I said well if that's the case then that's too bad for those kids that they don't get to play with our daughter and like why would we want people like that over our house and she said that that was basically me saying that we don't want her over at our house which is a thing I never said. And I never would say that.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
What else? She has, I mean, most of the family thinks that she is, just jealous of me. My girlfriend and I just bought a house together and we've been together in the past couple of weeks. She takes care of her daughter during the day. So she's used to kind of being the one to help out with the daughter instead of me. They used to live together.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
So she's used to having my girlfriend to herself all of the time. And so I think probably that's part of it. But I don't know. I think it's weird that she wants to be in my position if that's where it's coming from.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
I mean, another layer of it is that she's also complained about the tone of my voice and the look on my face when I'm in the room with her.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
Some of it is just like things that I I feel like I can't predict what she's going to get upset about. No, but I guess my question is a little bit of a blunt person. I can like be careful about, you know, but there's also like if I have a look on my face, I don't know.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
But I'm just afraid that that's not going to be enough, that she's just still going to like nitpick and twist things.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
Yeah. And one other question I had too is because we have a whole family trip coming up. We leave in a few days for Disney world. So this is my girlfriend, her sister, their entire family and their daughter. And yeah,
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
I am worried that like I'm going to say something and her sister is going to get set off and like finally confront me in person in Disney because I've been avoiding her for the past like month. I haven't been around. I've been like when I am around, I don't speak in front of her. I've just been like totally keeping my distance and isolating myself.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
And now we're going to be in Disney World for eight days altogether.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
I mean, I was like, oh, she says something. Can we just walk away? And my girlfriend just is, you know, like hoping that that doesn't come to that. And she wants us to have a sit down talk before we leave and just try to like hash things out. But anything I suggest of bringing up, she says, sounds like a confrontation.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
I mean, she said that all the things I said were things she was thinking. I just said it faster than she got than she did. OK, but then when she talked to her sister about it after, like I read some of the text messages and she was really downplaying it like, oh, that's not something I say much in front of her. Or, you know, she has a book that mentions lesbian, but we barely read it.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
And it was kind of like, like, I feel like she caters to her sister a lot.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
I mean, I think she just doesn't want there to be issues. She doesn't want there to be confrontations or arguments or people's feelings getting hurt. She just wants everything to like be okay.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
Is it younger sister? Yeah. Like baby sister by 10 years.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
confrontation with her sister i don't see how right because her in her sister's mind she will always be like if my sister had a problem she'd tell me and my sister's not telling me so the problem's you right yeah and i mean my girlfriend does like to her sister and to her other family members who have like they have another sister who's gotten involved and gets upset so to them she's really like stood up for me and said like monica's done nothing wrong
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
And everything's OK on that part. You know, she's not in the wrong here. She hasn't said anything to offend you. She hasn't been malicious. But then it's behind the scenes. It's a little bit more like saying that I should censor myself more or maybe I should say this or I shouldn't say that or I should do that.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
But she has been good about like to them, to like the outside of standing up for me and having my back. So at least I know that, you know, she's put her foot down with that.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
Yeah. Yeah. I think she probably is. And, you know, want to like just like you said, maybe finds me kind of abrasive and doesn't like that things are changing. And it's just like freaking out about it.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
Yeah, and that's fine. It goes both ways. I'm okay with that.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
Yeah. No, totally. I mean, I definitely am going to talk to my girlfriend about, you know, like, I mean, I can definitely... make an effort to not be as myself around her, not be quite so as big of a personality around her because it clearly offends her in some way. And then also about what my partner needs to say to her and really stick up for me that this isn't okay.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
I mean, mostly my feelings are just really hurt about the whole thing. Like I don't really have a lot of immediate family myself. So I'm just like hurt that I'm not being welcomed into her family as much.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
Yeah. I mean, I think when she, like if she gets upset or if she offends other people in the family, like, everybody else seems to just like, let it blow over and it's fine. Like right after, and there doesn't need to be any apologies or anything like that. And then I come in, she upsets me and I'm like, you know, expecting some kind of apology or like something, some kind of accountability.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
That's where that's obviously not going to happen.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
Right. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I think, I mean, my girlfriend's really, you know, she's, super great about like having open communication with me and listening to me so I think she'll be open to what I have to say and I can you know eat humble pie like you said I guess I suppose I can do that and um you know, apologize to her.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
I've been saying that I refuse to apologize to her, but I mean, I guess I can, I just feel like I haven't done anything wrong.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
Yeah, definitely makes sense. I'm following you. And I think that like you're right, that I need to just kind of suck it up and just roll with the punches a little bit better here.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
Okay. Yeah, I think so. A little bit. I mean, she's been good, but she could take another step or two up.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
right yeah I mean and I do like I just want to be happy with my girlfriend like everything else in our life is so amazing right now like we keep saying we're in a golden age like our jobs are going well are like we've been parenting together a week and a half now going great we're in like The honeymoon phase. It's amazing. It's like this one thing that we argue about. Just swallow your pride.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
OK, I can handle that, I think. It might take me a day to prep, but I can do that.
The Viall Files
E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend
I'll let you know how Disney goes. Fingers crossed. There's nothing to report. All right.