Mikhaila Fuller
Appearances
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
What would you do if I had been in that situation? Like is a bit of it dependent on how old they are? Like if these are people who are, I don't know, mid-20s maybe, and they're like, I'm going to give this a shot. I can do it. I'm one of those people that can navigate basically an open relationship. Like what if I had it in my head that that was me?
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
Maybe they just said, we don't agree with your lifestyle, and we need a boundary here. But should the boundary be as far as, we don't talk to you anymore? Or should it be like, we love you... We don't think this lifestyle is good for you or the people around you or potential children you're going to have.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
Women live longer. It technically makes a little bit more sense. That's coming from me.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
Without knowing family dynamics, like, is the person who's in a polyamorous relationship, why are they doing it? Is it because of the person they're with that's encouraging them? Is it something they want? Or is it to see how their parents will react? You know, like, it could be one of those factors because maybe... Maybe they want boundaries or maybe they want, hey, you know what?
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
We don't agree with this at all, but we love you anyway and have faith in you figuring it out. Maybe that's the direction they need to go to. I feel like if I was in the situation where I was like, you know what? Polyamory... is what I believe in. It's what I want. I can handle it. It's better for me, which is a delusional way of thinking.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
But if I had convinced myself that was the right thing and it was in response to my parents, what I would probably want is my parents to say, we don't think this is good for you. You know, it's not about us. We don't think this is good for you and your family. And we're here when you figure it out. We're not going to encourage it. And we don't like it, but we're here.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
I was going to say that, yeah.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
Well, I mean, how do you know if you're on the right path? What's your path? So if you have a goal, like maybe this job isn't fulfilling something, but it's making you money while you pursue a larger goal. And maybe that's something you have to do for three or five years while you do something else. Or maybe there's opportunity in the job that you're not seeing, but you need an aim.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
You taught me that. So where are you going? And then see if what you're doing is leading to that.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
What if your job is also good for the community? Can you combine those?
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
Yeah. I'm pretty sure this is how, you know, all those, well, it's either a scam, but you know, people who talk about manifesting, they're like manifest, it'll work. Those are either scam artists, which I think a good portion of them are, Or they make a plan and are amazed at all the doors that open when they have a plan.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
That was good. I was... I've been super surprised. Every year I've been doing... Like, I like New Year's resolutions and things, but so once a year I'll make a plan for... And I shoot pretty high, because you always taught me to shoot high, who knows what you're capable of. So I shoot... way further than I think I can get. And I'm like, okay, this is my plan for 2025.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
And then I don't really look at it. So it's different than future authoring, which is really detailed and it's really helpful. But I also grew up with you as a dad. So I have that going for me, but I've been so surprised because every year I'll look at my goals again. I'll be like, you know what? I got through like 80% of these, way higher than I was expecting.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
And it's because when you do make a plan, it's like your vision changes and you can see these open doors.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
Or random horrible doorways. Yeah, sure, sure. That lead like upside down. Yeah, right. Yeah. Right, right. Yeah. That was helpful.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
If that person is going through that and also just had a baby, I would say wait a little bit because you're in baby mode right now and it's pure chaos for at least a year.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
If that's the case.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
Oh, yeah.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
I think that's a pretty good answer. I think the lying part is key, too. Like, that's... There's nothing more important than that, right? Otherwise, you can't sort out a problem. You'd be like, can we fix it? Sure, we could fix it. That's a lie, you know.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
How often do you think that happens in relationships?
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
Isn't that pathological though? Isn't that a disorder of some sort if somebody does that? Or is it not pathological and lots of people experience it?
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
You think there are some things that you should figure out early, though, where they just don't work? Like, if one person is extremely organized and extremely high in conscientiousness and the other person isn't, like, is extremely low? Well... But those things you should figure out early.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
Which is great, by the way, and everybody should do it. Yeah. That's like my favorite thing other than Peterson Academy. That's my favorite thing that you developed. I've been using that since we had to score it on paper. Yeah. Like I was obsessed with that. I was the one that said we should do a couples questionnaire.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
yeah version yeah was using it to screen people i don't know you know what it does it sorts through extroverts too because you meet an extrovert especially if you're an extroverted person you're like i like this person this person is great yeah an extroversion just coats every other part of their personality and you're like this person's super fun yeah i had that problem with hiring for a
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
Or are they extroverted? And a lot of the time it was like, oh, they scored 94th in extroversion. Who knows what they're really like? Because it can hide low conscientiousness. So they can be a total slob and not care about it.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
But really be really charming. That can be hidden. Or neurotic, like high neuroticism. So they're extremely volatile, but also very charming. So just figuring out your personality and your partner's personality and being like, okay, are there things here that we have to discuss to see if we can work through? And one of those has got to be conscientiousness.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
Yeah.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
Do you think it's weird? So I think the difference between say 30 year old woman or 25 year old woman and 40 or 45 year old man, that makes more, or if you go up, that kind of makes sense. Do you think it's weird when we see like 35 year old men who refuse to date anybody who's above the age of 22?
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
Yeah. You'll just end up, if you're the conscientious one, you'll just end up cleaning for the rest of your life.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
And time management is a hard one.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
Yeah. Yeah.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
This also might be helpful if people do find themselves in a situation where they have dated a number of people and they're like, it's not working, it's not working, it's not working. Am I a narcissistic, horrible person? And is that the problem? Or maybe you've got some extreme personality traits that are kind of rare.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
Because I think that's part of what happened to me with being, I just wasn't, I'm an extreme person. And I was like, is it me? I'm the problem? I mean, technically that would make me the problem. But then I found another extreme person. I was like, okay, now we can be lunatics together.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
That's pretty funny.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
I could wrap up a little bit. Yeah, you go for it.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
Okay, well, that was fun. Thanks for including me.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
Thanks for everybody who submitted questions. Yeah, much appreciated. Hopefully people enjoyed it or found it helpful.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
I would be concerned that I was being taken advantage of just from being a 21-year-old.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
If I meet other 35-year-old guys, I'm like, if you only date young 20s, is it because anybody who's 30 would see through you? Oh, sure.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
But once you get above like 25, I don't think it makes that much of a difference.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
I think the argument that they use is, oh, those are women's most fertile years. But you don't see the people doing that getting married and having babies. They're actually more into polyamory, if anything.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
It'd be weird if you owned it.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
Yeah.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
I think as long as you avoid the psychopathic types that are just after naivety, then... then you're all kind of the same age after a certain point anyway, so it probably doesn't matter. And maybe there are some benefits even, depending on the person.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
Okay, let's get this show on the road. We thought it might be a fun idea or an interesting idea to take questions from your audience and have you do what you do best and try to help some people if they need help. And maybe the questions will be applicable to a lot of people. So I think it should be fun. We're going to give this a shot. I hope you guys enjoy it.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
You can also create this, like you were talking about, this little microcosm in your home for your kids to grow up in. And then you can help them become extremely competent. Like this guy sounds competent. He's in law school. He's obviously gone through a number of jobs and become more and more successful and gotten over some personal stuff. So he seems competent.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
I'm Michaela, by the way, if people don't know who I am.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
But if you raise your kids right and you build confidence in themselves, then they can go out into this chaotic world.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
And find opportunity too.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
Oh, yeah.
The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast
548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller
Well, thank you. I think that was a compliment, so I'll take it. Are we ready? Number one? Should we just jump into it? Let's go. Okay.