Mike Wozniak
Appearances
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
He's more of the show pony end of things. You don't want to trust him in a fight, do you? He's prattling about in his handstands, showing off to local peasants.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Is he a polyglot? Is he a man of many tongues? That's a very, very good guess.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
I'm particularly excited about the topic.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
So he's used to measure the emotional temperature of the squat. Maybe that's it. Is that right? Like a sort of morale barometer. Yeah. It's quite useful for leaders. Yeah, how is morale today? Well, Lip is currently wearing his lip like a hat. The knights will just say that they're fine. But are you really fine? Let's have a look at what Lip's doing.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
I think it's the sort of thing you carry through your life if you've grown up in Britain. Oh, yeah, I know about that. But do I know about it? I don't know. That's partly why I'm so excited to be here. I think it's a huge subject. There's quite a lot you can know without knowing the details. Yeah, and is it just because I'm familiar with it? Is it just because of some sort of Osborne book as a kid?
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
This is the one that starts with Brutus and ends with the Saxons coming and giving everyone a wallop.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
I've got no idea. Is that best?
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
So it's really... He's the Grisham of his day.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
I mean, that's quite a... The Romania... How do you manage the supply line thing? There's a bit of a gap.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Or because I played a King Arthur battle as a ten-year-old? It's so familiar, but I doubt there's any details. LAUGHTER We're very excited about getting into it.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Is she Morgan's mum?
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
White magic, healing magic.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Good magic. Because she's the one behind the Green Knight, isn't she?
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Yeah. Is that where he first appears?
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Merthyn. I don't know what would be the problem with the word Mervyn.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Have a clue, please.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Oh, so it looks like murder, it looks like sort of devilry business.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
This is the same reason the Toyota can't sell the MR2 in France. That's right, yeah. Famously. I didn't know that, that's great. Yes. The MR2.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
That's lush, that stuff. Owen Glyndwr, all that kind of like, he will come again type stuff.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Oh, I don't know why they're called romances. No.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Well, I'm a follower of Indiana Jones, so it's going to be a basic cup, perhaps wooden, that Jesus drank from at the Last Supper. And I think the legend was that if it could be restored to Britain, that that would heal the nation. I think that is also involved in this kind of... Joseph of Arimathea.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Did he come to Britain? If so, did he bring Jesus as his apprentice? Did he buy a cup from a gift shop in Glastonbury while he was here? Did he take it back? And then is it like nicking a Hoegaarden glass from a pub? Was it not actually his glass and he was supposed to return it to the barber? He didn't. He didn't know any better. He's not from this, in other words. Do you know what I mean?
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Is that... Chrétien says...
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
I always imagined it was like a baker's dozen.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
I was thinking King Arthur and then a dozen knights.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Oh, blimey. Here we go. So, Lancelot, of course. Gawain, we mentioned. Galahad. Percival. Kaye.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Ooh. I don't know if that's it.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Lovely stuff. Great, isn't it?
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Sword in the stone.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
That was a guess, but I was trying to think what's missing from the classics. You're doing great, Emma.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
I don't know. I haven't read it. I have heard of it. It's a Rapscallion figure, isn't it? Yeah. It's a prison book.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
I have to confess, I think it's one of those things that I've intended to read for a long time. I've never, do you know what I mean? It's on the list behind all the Grishams. I may have even owned it at some point, you know, and it's been put on the bookshelf in front of the Grishams. Yeah. But then you reach for aggression.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Yeah, Le Morte d'Arthur, you're right, it's a real... Sure, but it's less easy to put in... It's not such a sort of front-of-the-bookshop type title.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
I don't know. I feel I've heard that name before. What's he famous for? Yes, he's the master printer.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
We did an episode on him earlier.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
That's probably why.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
He's as old as time, right? The guy's seeking office. Got to get in office again. Yeah. Just in case the law catches up with him. It's the Donald Trump strategy, isn't it? It's effective.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
What's the thing that he didn't, where there's no source? What's the story?
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
It's probably for the mass market, right?
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
He's got big muscles, but he will hold the door open for a lady, right?
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
It's very King Herod.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
It's covered, right? Don't do that, please.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
The platonic idea of a man.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Go forth, do a quest, grab a treasure.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
to get a bit of brisk tourist ways.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
All that kind of stuff.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
The Poles have got the sleeping knights of Givant. Oh, really?
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
I'm aware of this, yeah. It's one of those, like the knights or the king who will rise again type thing. That's it, they're sleeping. They're in a cave.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
The nuance window!
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Yeah. But with a new... Yeah, whatever's needed at the time. Right. Yeah.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
I thoroughly enjoy it. I love that. It's been an absolute feast. You knew way more than you let on.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
I wasn't sure. Yeah. I'd loved it as a kid, I think, in particular. Mm-hmm. And there's so many brilliant movies and things that remind you of Excalibur in particular. I'm going to have to go back and watch that. Excalibur's a great one.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Yeah, there's been a lot of details, names that I probably haven't grasped, but let's see.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Oh, when he was blue, when he was feeling low, his lip could go down to his navel or he could also put it over his head, like a backwards hood.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
So it didn't sound like the word for dads to the French audience.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
She was originally a healer and a sort of magic positive creature and then became villainous.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
There's, for example, Richard Braveheart claiming to have the Excalibur itself and giving it to the... Richard the Lionheart. The Lionheart, sorry.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Pluck a sword out of the stone. Play my right league. Yeah. Kingdom. Can't wait. I think I would try to be your sort of benevolent dictator. Right, OK. I think it's worth giving that a go. Sure. Even for a couple of years. And how big is your roundtable going to be? Oh, I think, oh, golly, this is like wedding invites because there'd be so many people that would be offended if I didn't...
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
You've got to think about colleagues. You've got to be old friends from school you're not being in touch with. I'm going to say 240 because then people can never kind of like bring a friend, that kind of stuff. Okay, plus ones. Yeah, plus ones. I'll say 240. You're both invited, obviously. Thank you. Thank you.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
So the poet likes this guy?
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
He's good, but he's not like him.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
What's a guy got to do? LAUGHTER
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
The Trojan dude. Yeah.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
All I know about him is that he left Troy, had a few adventures, and then came here and, in a classic sort of conqueror style, killed some indigenous giants or something. And then said, this is mine, by the way.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Those poor sweet giants.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
I think the giants even lived near me. I think they're from Totnes. Yes. I live in Exeter and I think they're Totnes-based. So if they were Totnes, they're probably quite nice. They're probably quite... Into sort of building their own guitars. Provincial giants.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Cultured giants. Yeah. Cultured in general.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
So he's a classic columnist, sort of broken Britain. Yeah, he is.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Is he a Roman? He's a Roman, we think.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
But he's there after the Romans have left? He's hanging about?
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Son of a Roman, grandson of a Roman. The utility bills are coming to their address and they're settled. They've got friends and family and hobbies and... And they've managed to let people know that their name is the Golden Immortal. Yeah. You don't want to move on from a place where people are calling you that, do you? No, you don't.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
That's a series of Taskmaster. Here's a bunch of guys around a round table who might be up for a challenge. The Mabinogion I'm vaguely familiar with, it's incredibly weird.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
People sort of seem to change form quite regularly.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
I assume at some point someone's got to kill a boar, right? Normally they sing someone's got to kill a magical boar. Yes.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
That's brilliant. I think that's just kicked into my memory. It's just dragged up from the back. Who is King Arthur? It's coming back to me.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
You do know this story.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Maybe, yeah, yeah. So there's this sort of Miyagi-style kind of training, secret training going on. And then, yeah, he wants to trim his beard and get his dream curls going for wedding day. He wants all the bells and no frizz. That's it.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Is it a tentagel thing, is it? Or is that imposed later?
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Yeah. Oh, you can't go anywhere rural in England and parts of Wales without someone claiming this is, yeah.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
The gift shop needs... It's all about merch.
You're Dead to Me
Legends of King Arthur: from medieval literature to modern myth
Can you describe how he does that?