Mike Boudet

She hadn't been seen in days and her apartment was a wreck. Police found ripped up carpet, bleached floors, blood spatter, pieces of human tissue on a A glove? It was clear she'd been killed, but there was no trace of her remains whatsoever. The last person to see her alive was her boyfriend, Eric Christensen. A kilt-wearing Wiccan with a bald head and a 10-inch braided goatee.

Couldn't have been him, right? Anyway, when the detectives found Eric outside the hospital with a hand injury, they started asking him about Sherry. He was more than happy to talk about how their relationship had gone downhill after she started taking financial gifts from a friend called Dan Young. This bastard, this bastard that had, you know, all this money for stuff like laptops.

Couldn't have been him, right? Anyway, when the detectives found Eric outside the hospital with a hand injury, they started asking him about Sherry. He was more than happy to talk about how their relationship had gone downhill after she started taking financial gifts from a friend called Dan Young. This bastard, this bastard that had, you know, all this money for stuff like laptops.

Couldn't have been him, right? Anyway, when the detectives found Eric outside the hospital with a hand injury, they started asking him about Sherry. He was more than happy to talk about how their relationship had gone downhill after she started taking financial gifts from a friend called Dan Young. This bastard, this bastard that had, you know, all this money for stuff like laptops.

You know, Eric just wasn't happy about it. And he told police that he had Sherry make a deal with him using some of his coveted Wiccan rituals. Tell me about the ceremony.

You know, Eric just wasn't happy about it. And he told police that he had Sherry make a deal with him using some of his coveted Wiccan rituals. Tell me about the ceremony.

You know, Eric just wasn't happy about it. And he told police that he had Sherry make a deal with him using some of his coveted Wiccan rituals. Tell me about the ceremony.

Okay. I'll bite.

Okay. I'll bite.

Okay. I'll bite.

That's it. It's hard to take a ritual seriously when it involves buying wands at a store next to Sears.

That's it. It's hard to take a ritual seriously when it involves buying wands at a store next to Sears.

That's it. It's hard to take a ritual seriously when it involves buying wands at a store next to Sears.

Mm-hmm. They returned to the apartment and Eric set up his ritual space. But there was one problem. They needed a church witness to bind the ceremony and make it real. That damn fine print.

Mm-hmm. They returned to the apartment and Eric set up his ritual space. But there was one problem. They needed a church witness to bind the ceremony and make it real. That damn fine print.

Mm-hmm. They returned to the apartment and Eric set up his ritual space. But there was one problem. They needed a church witness to bind the ceremony and make it real. That damn fine print.

Holding his wand in one hand and a dagger in the other, Eric stood outside the invisible circle he had just cast in their living room. Or at least he pretended to. Because it was not a real circle, he just invented it. Anyway, Sherry waited quietly beside him and closed her eyes. Eric's friend was on speakerphone as Eric looked up to the ceiling and began summoning his gods.

Holding his wand in one hand and a dagger in the other, Eric stood outside the invisible circle he had just cast in their living room. Or at least he pretended to. Because it was not a real circle, he just invented it. Anyway, Sherry waited quietly beside him and closed her eyes. Eric's friend was on speakerphone as Eric looked up to the ceiling and began summoning his gods.

Holding his wand in one hand and a dagger in the other, Eric stood outside the invisible circle he had just cast in their living room. Or at least he pretended to. Because it was not a real circle, he just invented it. Anyway, Sherry waited quietly beside him and closed her eyes. Eric's friend was on speakerphone as Eric looked up to the ceiling and began summoning his gods.

We're going to have some company today. Put out the good china, I guess. As this was happening, the incense burned, clouding the apartment with a musky, thick smoke, potentially masking some of the body odor, I would imagine. Eric was in a trance as he worked his magic ritual. Then he turned to Sherry and pointed the wand at her. And then what happened? I asked her, why are you here?