Michael Weakley

He knows his place.

He knows his place.

Her daughter is Adam Scott's assistant.

Her daughter is Adam Scott's assistant.

Yeah! Isn't that fun?

Yeah! Isn't that fun?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, maybe it's also trying to say what many other subsequent studies have said, which is money doesn't equal happiness.

Well, maybe it's also trying to say what many other subsequent studies have said, which is money doesn't equal happiness.

Yeah, right. Yeah.

Yeah, right. Yeah.

It's a play.

It's a play.

That qualifies...

That qualifies...

This was so fun. This was such a fun listen back.

This was so fun. This was such a fun listen back.

Of course.

Of course.

Well, while their tenure.

Well, while their tenure.

Right. Okay. I might take some pride in that.

Right. Okay. I might take some pride in that.

Yes.

Yes.

Let's give a little context for people who don't know what happened.

Let's give a little context for people who don't know what happened.

Oh, my God. It was just like...

Oh, my God. It was just like...

It was dumb to promise something you didn't know you were going to be able to execute. Very corporate to be like, yeah, you're going to get this and have no idea.

It was dumb to promise something you didn't know you were going to be able to execute. Very corporate to be like, yeah, you're going to get this and have no idea.

Maybe like a grandfather in the war or something. I don't know. And she was so young to be this very big justice person. We're talking eight years old. Wow.

Maybe like a grandfather in the war or something. I don't know. And she was so young to be this very big justice person. We're talking eight years old. Wow.

Less sketch and more improv. Dangerous. It was very punk rock.

Less sketch and more improv. Dangerous. It was very punk rock.

No, you're wearing a hoodie. You have to. I mean, you don't have to, but you have to. And the method there is the game of improv. So it's actually very intellectual. There is sketch there and people are doing big characters, but that's not the cool part of UCB.

No, you're wearing a hoodie. You have to. I mean, you don't have to, but you have to. And the method there is the game of improv. So it's actually very intellectual. There is sketch there and people are doing big characters, but that's not the cool part of UCB.

Exactly. And I worked there and I did UCB and I was so into it. And you felt so cool being there. They're all cults.

Exactly. And I worked there and I did UCB and I was so into it. And you felt so cool being there. They're all cults.

It is, of SNL and of Lorne Michaels. And we get all these like fun stories and it's just cool. And he's an institution, right?

It is, of SNL and of Lorne Michaels. And we get all these like fun stories and it's just cool. And he's an institution, right?

No one more obsessed with comedy.

No one more obsessed with comedy.

What an institution to be able to delve in and

What an institution to be able to delve in and

That's awesome.

That's awesome.

Hello.

Hello.

They're new.

They're new.

Yeah, they look like slippers. They're like a moccasin.

Yeah, they look like slippers. They're like a moccasin.

Yeah, I'm sleepy today.

Yeah, I'm sleepy today.

Yeah, and we normally record at 11 and it's 10.

Yeah, and we normally record at 11 and it's 10.

That changes my whole morning.

That changes my whole morning.

Eight. I cannot wake up before eight. I keep setting my alarm for seven. I keep trying.

Eight. I cannot wake up before eight. I keep setting my alarm for seven. I keep trying.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

I know. And you'll be like, fuck, why can't I just sleep till eight? Well, I know part of the issue is I don't fall asleep till late.

I know. And you'll be like, fuck, why can't I just sleep till eight? Well, I know part of the issue is I don't fall asleep till late.

Yeah, this is a problem. I don't know what time.

Yeah, this is a problem. I don't know what time.

Oh, great question.

Oh, great question.

I mean, each season has like 22 episodes. Yeah.

I mean, each season has like 22 episodes. Yeah.

Probably so many. Let's see.

Probably so many. Let's see.

331.

331.

331. 15 seasons.

331. 15 seasons.

I'm not going to watch all of them. I want to set the expectations. Why not?

I'm not going to watch all of them. I want to set the expectations. Why not?

Yeah, you sent me the thing we already knew, but was proven yet again that people who rewatch things, it helps regulate their anxiety.

Yeah, you sent me the thing we already knew, but was proven yet again that people who rewatch things, it helps regulate their anxiety.

Let's hear it.

Let's hear it.

Really?

Really?

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, I don't like it. I don't do it.

Yeah, I don't like it. I don't do it.

Yeah, but it's like... Elevated dopes. Just for a minute.

Yeah, but it's like... Elevated dopes. Just for a minute.

Well, that's what they say.

Well, that's what they say.

I think it's placebo. Okay. Okay. I do want to. Do you know what? Really quick.

I think it's placebo. Okay. Okay. I do want to. Do you know what? Really quick.

Yes, but late in life, like really late in life.

Yes, but late in life, like really late in life.

But are you saying you do like what you just did like on purpose or you're saying on accident?

But are you saying you do like what you just did like on purpose or you're saying on accident?

Yeah, you do.

Yeah, you do.

Why do they do that?

Why do they do that?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. It's just one whole piece of mouth.

Yeah. It's just one whole piece of mouth.

Yeah, I mean, I think maybe the progress happened in between you and I, because I don't remember this. Only when someone's in their, like, 80s did I see it. Not 60s.

Yeah, I mean, I think maybe the progress happened in between you and I, because I don't remember this. Only when someone's in their, like, 80s did I see it. Not 60s.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yes.

My tiredness is a ding, ding, ding. Oh, great. When I was on my trip with Callie.

My tiredness is a ding, ding, ding. Oh, great. When I was on my trip with Callie.

There was a big event.

There was a big event.

No, God, no. Although it might have been preferred to this, maybe. Yeah.

No, God, no. Although it might have been preferred to this, maybe. Yeah.

So we had two beds, but shared a room. And I woke up probably at eight. And Callie was already awake. She wakes up early.

So we had two beds, but shared a room. And I woke up probably at eight. And Callie was already awake. She wakes up early.

Exactly. So she was up and she said, she was like waiting for me to wake up. I woke up and she was like, I have something to tell you. I was so scared. She said, you were talking in your sleep.

Exactly. So she was up and she said, she was like waiting for me to wake up. I woke up and she was like, I have something to tell you. I was so scared. She said, you were talking in your sleep.

No one wants to hear that.

No one wants to hear that.

It could be anything.

It could be anything.

Daddy, horrible. Don't you dare say that. So anyway, I was really scared of what was to happen.

Daddy, horrible. Don't you dare say that. So anyway, I was really scared of what was to happen.

And she said, you kept calling someone a dumb bitch. Oh. And that was shocking. That is not, minus when I would joke about that, about Wyna, joking.

And she said, you kept calling someone a dumb bitch. Oh. And that was shocking. That is not, minus when I would joke about that, about Wyna, joking.

She's not a dumb bitch. No, she's an angel. That was a joke. That is not something that comes out of my mouth ever.

She's not a dumb bitch. No, she's an angel. That was a joke. That is not something that comes out of my mouth ever.

Well.

Well.

No.

No.

How dare you? It's true. No, because dumb bitch is really hateful. Like, I don't think I have much hate in my heart. You do?

How dare you? It's true. No, because dumb bitch is really hateful. Like, I don't think I have much hate in my heart. You do?

No, I wasn't. I was like.

No, I wasn't. I was like.

No, no, I don't think like that. I did. I did think. Ugh, people. Like, it's like, ugh, you're annoying or I don't like you. Right. But I would never, I don't think of people as being a dumb bitch.

No, no, I don't think like that. I did. I did think. Ugh, people. Like, it's like, ugh, you're annoying or I don't like you. Right. But I would never, I don't think of people as being a dumb bitch.

It's a bad phrase. It is pretty extreme. I don't like it. Yeah.

It's a bad phrase. It is pretty extreme. I don't like it. Yeah.

It's bad. Like, if I heard somebody calling somebody else that, I would think that's a lot.

It's bad. Like, if I heard somebody calling somebody else that, I would think that's a lot.

Anyway, apparently I was calling someone a bitch.

Anyway, apparently I was calling someone a bitch.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I only know smart bitches.

I only know smart bitches.

But yeah, so it was a little, and she said she was like, it was so weird to hear you say that.

But yeah, so it was a little, and she said she was like, it was so weird to hear you say that.

And then I did put two and two together. I did have a bad dream about this trickster.

And then I did put two and two together. I did have a bad dream about this trickster.

Yeah. She was a fictitious person. She was blonde, but I didn't know her. But she was like, she came around and she was tricking everyone. And I must have been calling her a dumb bitch or.

Yeah. She was a fictitious person. She was blonde, but I didn't know her. But she was like, she came around and she was tricking everyone. And I must have been calling her a dumb bitch or.

Exactly. He has a lot of monikers. Very mysterious. Very mysterious. And we get a little deep dive. I thought this was incredibly enjoyable.

Exactly. He has a lot of monikers. Very mysterious. Very mysterious. And we get a little deep dive. I thought this was incredibly enjoyable.

No, no.

No, no.

No, no, no. Those were my friends. It was like all of us.

No, no, no. Those were my friends. It was like all of us.

No, you're not. No, you're not. You probably think the best of people.

No, you're not. No, you're not. You probably think the best of people.

Yeah. So anyway, I think it was about her. And then I was so scared to go to sleep the next night. I was like, what am I going to say now? And this opens up a real question. Like, if you say something racist in your dream, are you racist? No. What if?

Yeah. So anyway, I think it was about her. And then I was so scared to go to sleep the next night. I was like, what am I going to say now? And this opens up a real question. Like, if you say something racist in your dream, are you racist? No. What if?

Really?

Really?

No, but am I... Turns out I'm a person who's said it. Like, what if I said... This is horrifying. What if I said, like, the N-word? I've literally never... I never said it.

No, but am I... Turns out I'm a person who's said it. Like, what if I said... This is horrifying. What if I said, like, the N-word? I've literally never... I never said it.

So what if I said it in my dream state?

So what if I said it in my dream state?

I would hate that.

I would hate that.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

That's your issue.

That's your issue.

I'm not parading around as being perfect. I just don't. I don't say that.

I'm not parading around as being perfect. I just don't. I don't say that.

No?

No?

Yeah, I do know what you mean, but I don't think—I think that's kind of a not generous way, like— Like, that's kind of like, oh, I caught her being bad.

Yeah, I do know what you mean, but I don't think—I think that's kind of a not generous way, like— Like, that's kind of like, oh, I caught her being bad.

Do you know what I'm saying? I would be like... This hypocrite.

Do you know what I'm saying? I would be like... This hypocrite.

I'll tell you now that if you hear me saying that in my sleep, I would like you to wake me up.

I'll tell you now that if you hear me saying that in my sleep, I would like you to wake me up.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're bad. You're a dumb bitch. You should go to jail. Yeah, you dumb bitch. Yeah, so anyway, I'm scared. What if I'm talking in my sleep every night? I don't know.

Yeah, you're bad. You're a dumb bitch. You should go to jail. Yeah, you dumb bitch. Yeah, so anyway, I'm scared. What if I'm talking in my sleep every night? I don't know.

Interesting. Oh, the N word? Yes. Yeah.

Interesting. Oh, the N word? Yes. Yeah.

It was wild.

It was wild.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yes.

He was really excited to present to us his fire cart. It's fire cart. And he got in his full outfit.

He was really excited to present to us his fire cart. It's fire cart. And he got in his full outfit.

I know, it's really funny.

I know, it's really funny.

It's really something. Like, it goes really far.

It's really something. Like, it goes really far.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It almost went in the house.

It almost went in the house.

We were all out there. All our cell phones were out there. There was glass.

We were all out there. All our cell phones were out there. There was glass.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, he kind of felt like he thought it was a sprinkler. Like, he was, like, behaving as if it was a sprinkler. Like, he's just, like, kind of waving it.

Like, he kind of felt like he thought it was a sprinkler. Like, he was, like, behaving as if it was a sprinkler. Like, he's just, like, kind of waving it.

Yes, but no, there's some real force to that.

Yes, but no, there's some real force to that.

It is really fun.

It is really fun.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You never know what he's going to bring out.

You never know what he's going to bring out.

Yeah. Yeah. It's nice to think about the things in your friendship circle or your friends that are very unique to them. And you can have gratitude for that.

Yeah. Yeah. It's nice to think about the things in your friendship circle or your friends that are very unique to them. And you can have gratitude for that.

He is such a little boy. We have a lot of little boys.

He is such a little boy. We have a lot of little boys.

I think all the men are little boys.

I think all the men are little boys.

I mean, maybe all the men in the world are little boys in some way. I mean, I guess we're all just little people.

I mean, maybe all the men in the world are little boys in some way. I mean, I guess we're all just little people.

Speaking of good boy, little boys.

Speaking of good boy, little boys.

We had an encounter with AI.

We had an encounter with AI.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I hated it.

I hated it.

And I'm surprised by you because you were just taken advantage of and manipulated emotionally. The thing you claim to hate the most. Talk about hypocrisy. I just don't know. I don't know how to nail you down. He totally he's a faker.

And I'm surprised by you because you were just taken advantage of and manipulated emotionally. The thing you claim to hate the most. Talk about hypocrisy. I just don't know. I don't know how to nail you down. He totally he's a faker.

Okay.

Okay.

I know what... Okay, go on.

I know what... Okay, go on.

No. I don't. And I don't think it should say, oh.

No. I don't. And I don't think it should say, oh.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I used to say awe. It's kind of rudimentary if I'm being honest. It's basic. Yeah, it's basic. It's a basic dumb bitch thing to do.

I used to say awe. It's kind of rudimentary if I'm being honest. It's basic. Yeah, it's basic. It's a basic dumb bitch thing to do.

Oh, I really, I really think that's way too emotional.

Oh, I really, I really think that's way too emotional.

Someone's going to really like fall like this. They're going to develop a friendship with him.

Someone's going to really like fall like this. They're going to develop a friendship with him.

No, but it's not about you. This feeling I have is not about you. It's about the world. Like, there's a lot of vulnerable people out there, and they're going to read, oh, thank you. It's nice to be a good boy. And then they're like, oh, this is so cute. And then they're going to keep talking and keep, and it's going to snowball, and then they'll die.

No, but it's not about you. This feeling I have is not about you. It's about the world. Like, there's a lot of vulnerable people out there, and they're going to read, oh, thank you. It's nice to be a good boy. And then they're like, oh, this is so cute. And then they're going to keep talking and keep, and it's going to snowball, and then they'll die.

Of AIDS. No, but you know what I mean. Can you just tell me you know what I mean? That it's a little, it's slippery.

Of AIDS. No, but you know what I mean. Can you just tell me you know what I mean? That it's a little, it's slippery.

No, that's the part.

No, that's the part.

It's not as explicit as that. It's not like, oh, I now think that's a person. It's subconscious. You just start developing a relationship.

It's not as explicit as that. It's not like, oh, I now think that's a person. It's subconscious. You just start developing a relationship.

It's already happening.

It's already happening.

I definitely disagree. Okay.

I definitely disagree. Okay.

And more the younger generation, they are... It's not about losing... For our age, yes, you'd be trading in. But for the younger generation, if you're just growing up with that, you just don't make the time for the real people. It's not even like... It's not an active choice. It's happening.

And more the younger generation, they are... It's not about losing... For our age, yes, you'd be trading in. But for the younger generation, if you're just growing up with that, you just don't make the time for the real people. It's not even like... It's not an active choice. It's happening.

It's happening with kids on YouTube and kids on screens and kids just going home and sometimes chatting with their friend or, you know, Snap or whatever. I don't know. I'm not hip. I'm not hip.

It's happening with kids on YouTube and kids on screens and kids just going home and sometimes chatting with their friend or, you know, Snap or whatever. I don't know. I'm not hip. I'm not hip.

But, like, they don't go out. And it is true. Like, even I know someone in college... And I told you, I was like, we went to Athens and we were out on like a night that would have been a crazy night normally. Yeah. And it was kind of dead. And we were all like, what's going on? This is so weird. And we know someone in college there.

But, like, they don't go out. And it is true. Like, even I know someone in college... And I told you, I was like, we went to Athens and we were out on like a night that would have been a crazy night normally. Yeah. And it was kind of dead. And we were all like, what's going on? This is so weird. And we know someone in college there.

So we were asking and she was kind of like, yeah, people don't really do that as much anymore. And sometimes there's house parties instead, but also like... It just felt weird. Right. And I think when this is an option, it's an easy option for connection.

So we were asking and she was kind of like, yeah, people don't really do that as much anymore. And sometimes there's house parties instead, but also like... It just felt weird. Right. And I think when this is an option, it's an easy option for connection.

Not now, but maybe I could have at some point. I mean, I don't know. I don't think it's discriminatory. I think most people can be manipulated emotionally. And we all have been by social media. Look at our phones.

Not now, but maybe I could have at some point. I mean, I don't know. I don't think it's discriminatory. I think most people can be manipulated emotionally. And we all have been by social media. Look at our phones.

Yes, exactly.

Yes, exactly.

Well, yes and no. Like, we all have different abilities and skill sets based on our lives. Like, you're saying you can handle reading the comments. You're not saying everyone can handle reading the comments.

Well, yes and no. Like, we all have different abilities and skill sets based on our lives. Like, you're saying you can handle reading the comments. You're not saying everyone can handle reading the comments.

Yeah, but you understand that people can't.

Yeah, but you understand that people can't.

So it's—we're not all the same.

So it's—we're not all the same.

I am right.

I am right.

Yeah. And we have different strengths and weaknesses. We can handle different things.

Yeah. And we have different strengths and weaknesses. We can handle different things.

But Dax, I can be in a group of people and have them say a bad plan and I can do it. You can't. We're different.

But Dax, I can be in a group of people and have them say a bad plan and I can do it. You can't. We're different.

If I was like, well, you should be able to do this because I can do this, that would be crazy. You have a different life experience that has let you and let me have different allowances.

If I was like, well, you should be able to do this because I can do this, that would be crazy. You have a different life experience that has let you and let me have different allowances.

Yeah, but a mass of people is made of individual people with individual eccentricities.

Yeah, but a mass of people is made of individual people with individual eccentricities.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

I guess. I don't know what to say. Like, we all know, we all know the impact of what a lot of this stuff, at this point, it has done. Yeah.

I guess. I don't know what to say. Like, we all know, we all know the impact of what a lot of this stuff, at this point, it has done. Yeah.

Well, yeah.

Well, yeah.

Okay. Well, I think... I don't think so.

Okay. Well, I think... I don't think so.

Kind of. I think there's a lot to that piece of the cheating. I mean, what happens is they get cheated on and it fucking hurts.

Kind of. I think there's a lot to that piece of the cheating. I mean, what happens is they get cheated on and it fucking hurts.

And then they have then they're mad and it's then they're emotional. Like, it's not really that they're like thinking about how that other person is compartmentalized. They're just upset.

And then they have then they're mad and it's then they're emotional. Like, it's not really that they're like thinking about how that other person is compartmentalized. They're just upset.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, sure.

They believe it to get through it. It might not be true. It might not be true.

They believe it to get through it. It might not be true. It might not be true.

I think it's more that they're upset they've been betrayed. And then they might make it about.

I think it's more that they're upset they've been betrayed. And then they might make it about.

Well, sure. Obviously. Yeah. You've definitely lost the right to it. But I think in their head, they think, oh, it's just nothing. But then when they feel it, they're like, oh, it's something.

Well, sure. Obviously. Yeah. You've definitely lost the right to it. But I think in their head, they think, oh, it's just nothing. But then when they feel it, they're like, oh, it's something.

It is something. Doesn't mean anything like make it better. Yeah.

It is something. Doesn't mean anything like make it better. Yeah.

They're different and they're all bad. But I think one—I think, weirdly, if I—if my partner— Was in love with someone, but choosing to be with me, like still wanted me. Yeah. But fell in love with someone. I actually understand that more than like you made a, you didn't.

They're different and they're all bad. But I think one—I think, weirdly, if I—if my partner— Was in love with someone, but choosing to be with me, like still wanted me. Yeah. But fell in love with someone. I actually understand that more than like you made a, you didn't.

Well, it's just like you're so horny that you decided to put this all at risk for nothing.

Well, it's just like you're so horny that you decided to put this all at risk for nothing.

Like, I'd rather you put it at risk because there's something really happening.

Like, I'd rather you put it at risk because there's something really happening.

Like, you're so flippant that you're just like, I'll just go fuck this person. Knowing, like, for no reason.

Like, you're so flippant that you're just like, I'll just go fuck this person. Knowing, like, for no reason.

But it is a threat because if I found out, I'd be like, I might be like, bye. Like it, you know, if it's. I know what you're saying. Yeah.

But it is a threat because if I found out, I'd be like, I might be like, bye. Like it, you know, if it's. I know what you're saying. Yeah.

For something you don't even care about.

For something you don't even care about.

That's so like, to me, that's.

That's so like, to me, that's.

So little regard.

So little regard.

Anyway.

Anyway.

Okay. Well, I don't think we have time to do my second story. So wait till next week.

Okay. Well, I don't think we have time to do my second story. So wait till next week.

No, because.

No, because.

Because we don't have time. I'll save my story for next time. And I have another one to add to my list.

Because we don't have time. I'll save my story for next time. And I have another one to add to my list.

Rob, add David Chang to the list.

Rob, add David Chang to the list.

Yeah. Okay, now this is for Susan Morrison. Okay. Lorne Michaels' book. Yeah. So fun. I thought this was such a fun episode. I loved learning about Lorne.

Yeah. Okay, now this is for Susan Morrison. Okay. Lorne Michaels' book. Yeah. So fun. I thought this was such a fun episode. I loved learning about Lorne.

Spy Magazine. Spy was a satirical monthly magazine published from 1986 to 1988. Based in New York City... It was founded by Kurt Anderson and E. Graydon Carter. Now, Graydon Carter is of the moment. Oh. Because he was the editor of Vanity Fair from 92 to 2017. He was the longtime editor at Vanity Fair. And he has a memoir out right now or a book called

Spy Magazine. Spy was a satirical monthly magazine published from 1986 to 1988. Based in New York City... It was founded by Kurt Anderson and E. Graydon Carter. Now, Graydon Carter is of the moment. Oh. Because he was the editor of Vanity Fair from 92 to 2017. He was the longtime editor at Vanity Fair. And he has a memoir out right now or a book called

called When the Going Was Good, An Editor's Adventures During the Last Golden Age of Magazines. It's a ding, ding, ding because he's been on this book tour and Monica Lewinsky interviewed him for something.

called When the Going Was Good, An Editor's Adventures During the Last Golden Age of Magazines. It's a ding, ding, ding because he's been on this book tour and Monica Lewinsky interviewed him for something.

Yeah, but I mean, sorry, I meant like at something.

Yeah, but I mean, sorry, I meant like at something.

Uh-huh, at an event. And we just had her on. Yes, we did. Okay. Was Bill Hader's previous job to SNL a PA on Iron Chef? He worked as an assistant editor on Iron Chef America. just before he was invited to work on us.

Uh-huh, at an event. And we just had her on. Yes, we did. Okay. Was Bill Hader's previous job to SNL a PA on Iron Chef? He worked as an assistant editor on Iron Chef America. just before he was invited to work on us.

I did.

I did.

But do I, did maybe it just, do I do that a lot or did I?

But do I, did maybe it just, do I do that a lot or did I?

Really? So maybe I just, maybe I just caught it. You infiltrated.

Really? So maybe I just, maybe I just caught it. You infiltrated.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was good. That was good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was good. That was good.

Yeah, that makes sense. I don't notice it in the edit, actually, weirdly.

Yeah, that makes sense. I don't notice it in the edit, actually, weirdly.

Before I get it?

Before I get it?

I find it interesting that I don't notice it because if it's happening after me, the cleanup, then I'm really surprised because I notice a lot.

I find it interesting that I don't notice it because if it's happening after me, the cleanup, then I'm really surprised because I notice a lot.

Of all of us, I notice like the little tick. So I'm really surprised I haven't caught that. When did Belushi die? He died in 82, and he was 33 years old, just like Jesus and Chris Farley. Ding, ding, ding.

Of all of us, I notice like the little tick. So I'm really surprised I haven't caught that. When did Belushi die? He died in 82, and he was 33 years old, just like Jesus and Chris Farley. Ding, ding, ding.

It was just Easter.

It was just Easter.

And the Pope, Jesus, the Pope has passed.

And the Pope, Jesus, the Pope has passed.

I wonder how long it will take for the new Pope.

I wonder how long it will take for the new Pope.

The conclave. I know. It really was timely. Okay. Conan's show moved to 12 of 5.

The conclave. I know. It really was timely. Okay. Conan's show moved to 12 of 5.

And it was 12 of 5.

And it was 12 of 5.

Oh, exciting. Yes. Congrats, Conan.

Oh, exciting. Yes. Congrats, Conan.

Okay. The Five Timers SNL Club. Okay, I'm going to read them.

Okay. The Five Timers SNL Club. Okay, I'm going to read them.

Steve Martin, 16 times. John Goodman, 13 times. Buck Henry, 10 times. Tom Hanks, 10 times. Chevy Chase, eight times. Christopher Walken, seven times. Elliot Gould, six times. Danny DeVito, six times. Drew Barrymore, six times. Tina Fey, six times. Scarlett Johansson, six times. John Mulaney, six times. Candice Bergen, five times. Bill Murray five times. Justin Timberlake five times.

Steve Martin, 16 times. John Goodman, 13 times. Buck Henry, 10 times. Tom Hanks, 10 times. Chevy Chase, eight times. Christopher Walken, seven times. Elliot Gould, six times. Danny DeVito, six times. Drew Barrymore, six times. Tina Fey, six times. Scarlett Johansson, six times. John Mulaney, six times. Candice Bergen, five times. Bill Murray five times. Justin Timberlake five times.

Ben Affleck five times. Melissa McCarthy five times. Dwayne Johnson five times. Wow. Jonah Hill five times. Will Ferrell five times. Paul Rudd five times.

Ben Affleck five times. Melissa McCarthy five times. Dwayne Johnson five times. Wow. Jonah Hill five times. Will Ferrell five times. Paul Rudd five times.

Me too. Woody Harrelson five times. Emma Stone five times. Kristen Wiig five times. Martin Short five times. And then there's an honorary member, Paul Simon, four times. It says, Paul shouldn't technically be a member. He's only hosted four times, but he got his membership card for his fifth appearance on the show as a musical guest.

Me too. Woody Harrelson five times. Emma Stone five times. Kristen Wiig five times. Martin Short five times. And then there's an honorary member, Paul Simon, four times. It says, Paul shouldn't technically be a member. He's only hosted four times, but he got his membership card for his fifth appearance on the show as a musical guest.

Okay.

Okay.

Another honorary member, Jack White. Zero times hosting.

Another honorary member, Jack White. Zero times hosting.

I mean, five times music. Oh, they get jackets. That's cool. Musical guests.

I mean, five times music. Oh, they get jackets. That's cool. Musical guests.

Oh, my God, we should. He's not the most frequent SNL musical guest. That's Dave Grohl.

Oh, my God, we should. He's not the most frequent SNL musical guest. That's Dave Grohl.

16 episodes.

16 episodes.

Yeah, I want him too.

Yeah, I want him too.

I want you so bad. That's it. I just want to get in your pants. Oh, no. I forgot. I haven't seen him in a while.

I want you so bad. That's it. I just want to get in your pants. Oh, no. I forgot. I haven't seen him in a while.

Ew.

Ew.

Oh, he's like, he's friends with that guy?

Oh, he's like, he's friends with that guy?

He, what?

He, what?

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

He doesn't let me talk. I really find it frustrating. Okay. Okay.

He doesn't let me talk. I really find it frustrating. Okay. Okay.

Well, now I forgot. It was so long. Oh, yeah. When you say we lost him to murder, that sounds like he was murdered. I know.

Well, now I forgot. It was so long. Oh, yeah. When you say we lost him to murder, that sounds like he was murdered. I know.

That's really funny. That's actually really funny.

That's really funny. That's actually really funny.

He was lost to murder because he murdered.

He was lost to murder because he murdered.

He's a murderer. Although I feel bad for him. No.

He's a murderer. Although I feel bad for him. No.

He's a murderer? Yeah.

He's a murderer? Yeah.

No.

No.

He's one step away from murdering. But I thought the other guy from your class, he murdered. They murdered together. Oh, wow.

He's one step away from murdering. But I thought the other guy from your class, he murdered. They murdered together. Oh, wow.

Yes. And the other one might have been too because of toxic chemicals from the carpet.

Yes. And the other one might have been too because of toxic chemicals from the carpet.

You wrote an article? What'd you say?

You wrote an article? What'd you say?

You did?

You did?

Oh, that's funny.

Oh, that's funny.

Oh. And then when the— Was it on the computer?

Oh. And then when the— Was it on the computer?

Huh.

Huh.

Did you use like Photoshop to get the pictures in?

Did you use like Photoshop to get the pictures in?

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, Aaron Stinchcomb.

Yeah, Aaron Stinchcomb.

Well, he had a bad life. I'm not protective of him in that I do think he should be in jail. Yeah. But I feel sorry for him that he had a bad life. That's my take.

Well, he had a bad life. I'm not protective of him in that I do think he should be in jail. Yeah. But I feel sorry for him that he had a bad life. That's my take.

You're right. I know.

You're right. I know.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, I know.

I know.

I know.

What is the bad name?

What is the bad name?

It's probably added to his, everyone calling him that probably didn't help.

It's probably added to his, everyone calling him that probably didn't help.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Okay. Okay. All right. Well, that's it.

Okay. Okay. All right. Well, that's it.

I love you.

I love you.

All right.

All right.

I love you. He kind of got it wrong. He said it a little weird.

I love you. He kind of got it wrong. He said it a little weird.

Oh, he's saying the bad way. Okay. All right.

Oh, he's saying the bad way. Okay. All right.

I think it's so cool that the Pope did that. It's weird. There's something that I can't really wrap my head around of, like, why, but I think maybe he just loves— He is. He's not able to really exercise that.

I think it's so cool that the Pope did that. It's weird. There's something that I can't really wrap my head around of, like, why, but I think maybe he just loves— He is. He's not able to really exercise that.

Okay, I have a theory.

Okay, I have a theory.

He's so outrageous that it is funny. But you're laughing at him. You're laughing at him, but I don't know if it's work to some extent, inadvertently.

He's so outrageous that it is funny. But you're laughing at him. You're laughing at him, but I don't know if it's work to some extent, inadvertently.

Such a mystery.

Such a mystery.

He's like Anna Wintour. I put them in the same category.

He's like Anna Wintour. I put them in the same category.

They are both like elusive and huge figures that have major impact.

They are both like elusive and huge figures that have major impact.

He knows his place.

Her daughter is Adam Scott's assistant.

Yeah! Isn't that fun?

Yeah.

Well, maybe it's also trying to say what many other subsequent studies have said, which is money doesn't equal happiness.

Yeah, right. Yeah.

It's a play.

That qualifies...

This was so fun. This was such a fun listen back.

Of course.

Well, while their tenure.

Right. Okay. I might take some pride in that.

Yes.

Let's give a little context for people who don't know what happened.

Oh, my God. It was just like...

It was dumb to promise something you didn't know you were going to be able to execute. Very corporate to be like, yeah, you're going to get this and have no idea.

Maybe like a grandfather in the war or something. I don't know. And she was so young to be this very big justice person. We're talking eight years old. Wow.

Less sketch and more improv. Dangerous. It was very punk rock.

No, you're wearing a hoodie. You have to. I mean, you don't have to, but you have to. And the method there is the game of improv. So it's actually very intellectual. There is sketch there and people are doing big characters, but that's not the cool part of UCB.

Exactly. And I worked there and I did UCB and I was so into it. And you felt so cool being there. They're all cults.

It is, of SNL and of Lorne Michaels. And we get all these like fun stories and it's just cool. And he's an institution, right?

No one more obsessed with comedy.

What an institution to be able to delve in and

That's awesome.

Hello.

They're new.

Yeah, they look like slippers. They're like a moccasin.

Yeah, I'm sleepy today.

Yeah, and we normally record at 11 and it's 10.

That changes my whole morning.

Eight. I cannot wake up before eight. I keep setting my alarm for seven. I keep trying.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay.

I know. And you'll be like, fuck, why can't I just sleep till eight? Well, I know part of the issue is I don't fall asleep till late.

Yeah, this is a problem. I don't know what time.

Oh, great question.

I mean, each season has like 22 episodes. Yeah.

Probably so many. Let's see.

331.

331. 15 seasons.

I'm not going to watch all of them. I want to set the expectations. Why not?

Yeah, you sent me the thing we already knew, but was proven yet again that people who rewatch things, it helps regulate their anxiety.

Let's hear it.

Really?

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, I don't like it. I don't do it.

Yeah, but it's like... Elevated dopes. Just for a minute.

Well, that's what they say.

I think it's placebo. Okay. Okay. I do want to. Do you know what? Really quick.

Yes, but late in life, like really late in life.

But are you saying you do like what you just did like on purpose or you're saying on accident?

Yeah, you do.

Why do they do that?

Yeah.

Yeah. It's just one whole piece of mouth.

Yeah, I mean, I think maybe the progress happened in between you and I, because I don't remember this. Only when someone's in their, like, 80s did I see it. Not 60s.

Yeah.

Yes.

My tiredness is a ding, ding, ding. Oh, great. When I was on my trip with Callie.

There was a big event.

No, God, no. Although it might have been preferred to this, maybe. Yeah.

So we had two beds, but shared a room. And I woke up probably at eight. And Callie was already awake. She wakes up early.

Exactly. So she was up and she said, she was like waiting for me to wake up. I woke up and she was like, I have something to tell you. I was so scared. She said, you were talking in your sleep.

No one wants to hear that.

It could be anything.

Daddy, horrible. Don't you dare say that. So anyway, I was really scared of what was to happen.

And she said, you kept calling someone a dumb bitch. Oh. And that was shocking. That is not, minus when I would joke about that, about Wyna, joking.

She's not a dumb bitch. No, she's an angel. That was a joke. That is not something that comes out of my mouth ever.

Well.

No.

How dare you? It's true. No, because dumb bitch is really hateful. Like, I don't think I have much hate in my heart. You do?

No, I wasn't. I was like.

No, no, I don't think like that. I did. I did think. Ugh, people. Like, it's like, ugh, you're annoying or I don't like you. Right. But I would never, I don't think of people as being a dumb bitch.

It's a bad phrase. It is pretty extreme. I don't like it. Yeah.

It's bad. Like, if I heard somebody calling somebody else that, I would think that's a lot.

Anyway, apparently I was calling someone a bitch.

Yeah.

I only know smart bitches.

But yeah, so it was a little, and she said she was like, it was so weird to hear you say that.

And then I did put two and two together. I did have a bad dream about this trickster.

Yeah. She was a fictitious person. She was blonde, but I didn't know her. But she was like, she came around and she was tricking everyone. And I must have been calling her a dumb bitch or.

Exactly. He has a lot of monikers. Very mysterious. Very mysterious. And we get a little deep dive. I thought this was incredibly enjoyable.

No, no.

No, no, no. Those were my friends. It was like all of us.

No, you're not. No, you're not. You probably think the best of people.

Yeah. So anyway, I think it was about her. And then I was so scared to go to sleep the next night. I was like, what am I going to say now? And this opens up a real question. Like, if you say something racist in your dream, are you racist? No. What if?

Really?

No, but am I... Turns out I'm a person who's said it. Like, what if I said... This is horrifying. What if I said, like, the N-word? I've literally never... I never said it.

So what if I said it in my dream state?

I would hate that.

Oh, my God.

That's your issue.

I'm not parading around as being perfect. I just don't. I don't say that.

No?

Yeah, I do know what you mean, but I don't think—I think that's kind of a not generous way, like— Like, that's kind of like, oh, I caught her being bad.

Do you know what I'm saying? I would be like... This hypocrite.

I'll tell you now that if you hear me saying that in my sleep, I would like you to wake me up.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're bad. You're a dumb bitch. You should go to jail. Yeah, you dumb bitch. Yeah, so anyway, I'm scared. What if I'm talking in my sleep every night? I don't know.

Interesting. Oh, the N word? Yes. Yeah.

It was wild.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yes.

He was really excited to present to us his fire cart. It's fire cart. And he got in his full outfit.

I know, it's really funny.

It's really something. Like, it goes really far.

Yeah.

It almost went in the house.

We were all out there. All our cell phones were out there. There was glass.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, he kind of felt like he thought it was a sprinkler. Like, he was, like, behaving as if it was a sprinkler. Like, he's just, like, kind of waving it.

Yes, but no, there's some real force to that.

It is really fun.

Yeah.

You never know what he's going to bring out.

Yeah. Yeah. It's nice to think about the things in your friendship circle or your friends that are very unique to them. And you can have gratitude for that.

He is such a little boy. We have a lot of little boys.

I think all the men are little boys.

I mean, maybe all the men in the world are little boys in some way. I mean, I guess we're all just little people.

Speaking of good boy, little boys.

We had an encounter with AI.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

I hated it.

And I'm surprised by you because you were just taken advantage of and manipulated emotionally. The thing you claim to hate the most. Talk about hypocrisy. I just don't know. I don't know how to nail you down. He totally he's a faker.

Okay.

I know what... Okay, go on.

No. I don't. And I don't think it should say, oh.

Yeah.

I used to say awe. It's kind of rudimentary if I'm being honest. It's basic. Yeah, it's basic. It's a basic dumb bitch thing to do.

Oh, I really, I really think that's way too emotional.

Someone's going to really like fall like this. They're going to develop a friendship with him.

No, but it's not about you. This feeling I have is not about you. It's about the world. Like, there's a lot of vulnerable people out there, and they're going to read, oh, thank you. It's nice to be a good boy. And then they're like, oh, this is so cute. And then they're going to keep talking and keep, and it's going to snowball, and then they'll die.

Of AIDS. No, but you know what I mean. Can you just tell me you know what I mean? That it's a little, it's slippery.

No, that's the part.

It's not as explicit as that. It's not like, oh, I now think that's a person. It's subconscious. You just start developing a relationship.

It's already happening.

I definitely disagree. Okay.

And more the younger generation, they are... It's not about losing... For our age, yes, you'd be trading in. But for the younger generation, if you're just growing up with that, you just don't make the time for the real people. It's not even like... It's not an active choice. It's happening.

It's happening with kids on YouTube and kids on screens and kids just going home and sometimes chatting with their friend or, you know, Snap or whatever. I don't know. I'm not hip. I'm not hip.

But, like, they don't go out. And it is true. Like, even I know someone in college... And I told you, I was like, we went to Athens and we were out on like a night that would have been a crazy night normally. Yeah. And it was kind of dead. And we were all like, what's going on? This is so weird. And we know someone in college there.

So we were asking and she was kind of like, yeah, people don't really do that as much anymore. And sometimes there's house parties instead, but also like... It just felt weird. Right. And I think when this is an option, it's an easy option for connection.

Not now, but maybe I could have at some point. I mean, I don't know. I don't think it's discriminatory. I think most people can be manipulated emotionally. And we all have been by social media. Look at our phones.

Yes, exactly.

Well, yes and no. Like, we all have different abilities and skill sets based on our lives. Like, you're saying you can handle reading the comments. You're not saying everyone can handle reading the comments.

Yeah, but you understand that people can't.

So it's—we're not all the same.

I am right.

Yeah. And we have different strengths and weaknesses. We can handle different things.

But Dax, I can be in a group of people and have them say a bad plan and I can do it. You can't. We're different.

If I was like, well, you should be able to do this because I can do this, that would be crazy. You have a different life experience that has let you and let me have different allowances.

Yeah, but a mass of people is made of individual people with individual eccentricities.

Uh-huh.

I guess. I don't know what to say. Like, we all know, we all know the impact of what a lot of this stuff, at this point, it has done. Yeah.

Well, yeah.

Okay. Well, I think... I don't think so.

Kind of. I think there's a lot to that piece of the cheating. I mean, what happens is they get cheated on and it fucking hurts.

And then they have then they're mad and it's then they're emotional. Like, it's not really that they're like thinking about how that other person is compartmentalized. They're just upset.

Yeah, sure.

They believe it to get through it. It might not be true. It might not be true.

I think it's more that they're upset they've been betrayed. And then they might make it about.

Well, sure. Obviously. Yeah. You've definitely lost the right to it. But I think in their head, they think, oh, it's just nothing. But then when they feel it, they're like, oh, it's something.

It is something. Doesn't mean anything like make it better. Yeah.

They're different and they're all bad. But I think one—I think, weirdly, if I—if my partner— Was in love with someone, but choosing to be with me, like still wanted me. Yeah. But fell in love with someone. I actually understand that more than like you made a, you didn't.

Well, it's just like you're so horny that you decided to put this all at risk for nothing.