Meme
Appearances
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
Yeah, we had been. Well, when you pulled plug, I immediately set up a meeting with him and I was like, call me ASAP. She pulled the plug. And so I was like, we have something has to happen. I was like, even if I literally just go over there and cook her dinner.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
I'm not letting this birthday go by without celebrating because it's the first time we've been together eight years almost and you've never let me celebrate you and like this was their first year that you said yes and I was like everyone hold tight we're doing it like this is we were so excited we were like this has to happen and when you pulled the plug I was like
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
knew everyone both ways Tasha got laid twice how was oh I'll say it in a second never mind what I said how was it that Haley was the only one that didn't get laid she kept protesting like everyone on the trip just immense amount of sex Haley nothing I did it myself yeah I didn't have to talk to anyone yeah I kept telling Haley I'm like let me hook you up with somebody let me let's go on tinder let's do something and she was just like not having it and I'm not gonna force her if she didn't want to you know
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
Yeah. Champagne. Your layover in LAX was decorated. He decorated the PJ. The plane.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
The amount of people who were like, how the fuck did you do that? And I'm like, when you get there, it takes all the fear away. I don't know how to explain it. I literally, when I saw everyone out there and the lights in the water, I was like, I can do this.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
love you in the worst spot andy was literally squealing and taking he was like trying to drown me because he's taking the raft that i'm holding on to and trying to put his body on top of it his feet are like coming up out of the water and i literally kept saying andy hand me the fucking camera because he's like
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
okay that's what was attracting them literally it wasn't us it was his legs they were like to tell hayley and bunny across from me hey there's one coming and i put my face back in and at that moment it was right there it just like skimmed my face yeah that's so close they did terrifying
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
The monitor, the monopause was real. No, I'm pretty sure it's in one of the videos. Like when it came up, that thing was that big. Why? Slit right down. I mean, they shit out little pups. Oh.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
there yeah scooping up the the plankton and that's what those lights do which i didn't know so those lights attract plankton which then attract the manta rays which by the way we call them manatees for the good first hour yeah of this i still think they're manatees we thought that's what it was manta rays and then they like they scoop up all the plank they're kind of like uh whales how whales just open their mouths and scoop it up what if they would have gotten like andy's foot
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
It hit me in the face, but then it like, it went over my goggles. So I couldn't see. I'm trying to drive and I'm like, Haley, I can't fucking see. She's over there with her sweatshirt trying to wipe my face and shit.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
Oh, phones out of sight because you couldn't have them on you. I literally said so. We were like not a single phone in sight. A couple of people recording here and there. And then at one point, everyone just put every device down and just jumped in. Yeah. So cool. Yeah. Fucking cool.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
I said, I'm in the water. I'm like, Haley, Jason will hold your hand. She goes, I don't care if Jesus holds my hand. I'm not doing it.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
The Dole Whip. Oh, so they had a Dole Whip, and then they had a vanilla whip that they would do a swirl with.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
Yeah, I had shorts on and his tongue, he was scraping up my leg. And then I was like, I was trying to film you cuddling with the cow. And I was like, get away.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
Yeah, I'm running away from him trying to get you. Yeah, the one that his eyes were a little too close.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
You got on the ground and got a cow hug. I did. It got in your little ear and your face.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
Both of them. I'm videotaping you, and out of the corner of my eye, I see her put a bucket down and raw dog this shit, and I was like...
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
You guys, our vet literally texted us today and said, do you and Bunny have some type of competition that I don't know about?
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
and uh she said i think this donkey's a pisces i text the our like animal dealer and i was like hey when's when's the donkey's birthday sends it over and i'm like bunny he's a fucking pisces how did you know
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
Yeah. Or, like, if someone's giving them away online and stuff. Like, it's kind of like a little sanctuary.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
I put it in my local, like, Facebook group that we, you know... Blake had said he wanted to get Kayla a cow, so I was like, hey, I live out in farm country. Anyone know it? And I'm saying my comments were flooded with these people. I'm not joking. Instantly, 20 comments. You have to go to their farm. But between that...
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
crunch s'more and brownies mom had messaged me and i'm like i can't pass up this deal yeah bottle babies there's three of them like so we went with that but right when we left jason and i were like we should drive up to this farm middle of the like it's already dark we drive up there we meet these people we have fallen in love with them because yeah they're not only just like such pure souls our kids all connected yeah and i immediately text you because i see this donkey and
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
I got that when your new family showed up, which we'll talk about, she also delivered mine. And we got a mini pony because Pablo came alone. We didn't have anyone. And they're herd animals. So if you don't have another herd animal, they can become depressed. They won't eat. Like, they're very lonely. And we decided on a miniature pony instead.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
and dolly is such a good addition to our family very sweet girl very fucking sassy but pablo is deathly afraid of her he literally your kids in animal form yes that's cash and olivia percent and we turn around and we're like trying to intermingle we didn't let them alone at night together when she got dropped off so we waited but we let them touch noses through the fence
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
The next day, we let Pablo out. And I really thought he was going to be the aggressor because he was the aggressor with you guys. And that's why you guys were like, hey, like, he's just a little too much. And so I was like, great. He's going to be aggressive towards this pony. No. He runs away from her. She full speed sprints after him and he runs with everything he has and hides behind the barn.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
So she's over there rolling around in the field. And I look over and I look back and Pablo is around the barn.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
He is so upset that he has a sister. Well, then I leave. to go to town and Jason calls me and he's like, we have a fucking problem. And I was like, he's screaming at me. And I'm like, what? He's like, turn around, get back here now. I'm like, what is going on? He goes, Pablo escaped. I said, how? And he goes, Dolly cornered him and he jumped over the fucking fence. So when I tell you that my...
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
fucking cow decides he is so scared of his sister he jumps and gets his foot caught in the fence all jason can do is release his foot and he takes off so jason is full on sprinting after this cow because of course he goes straight for the road he's scared and he has to grab pablo and we didn't he didn't have a halter he had nothing like at that moment he was just so worried of him grabbed by his
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
So he ran out and he got him by his side. And when you do, he'll hug on to you. So he just kind of hugged him and walked him down the fence line and back in.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
bro that is and he's you don't understand crunchin and s'more are tiny tiny compared to pablo pablo is a big dude yes i was scared to feed him yeah she wouldn't give it okay cows don't have top teeth so like he's not gonna really hurt you but like still scared they're still they're they it's the color of the tongue that scares me oh and so like he's got a gray tongue yeah no yeah the
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
How big do they get? They're going to be about two, three hundred pounds. No, about a hundred. Really? A little over a hundred, depending on how much you feed them though. If you want them like floppy, they can be 150. I mean, I want them comfortable.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
Cause they're so like loaded. They don't grow to be tall and long. They're more like stout and round. Yeah. They've got like, they'll probably, I don't know if this particular one is bred to have like the really floppy ears, but typically they have like the turned up nose and the little, Oh yeah.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
The fact that they're in your house. Yeah. I love that. If I could bring Pablo inside, he would be so happy. I would love to bring Crunch inside and S'more.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
If it wasn't raining last night, I was just going to go sit out by, by Pablo and Dolly. Cause I was like, I haven't seen you guys today. I kind of really miss you.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
Like, and you like, it's because you're like literally creating a friendship with them from scratch. Yeah. And like, I love that about it. Cause at first Pablo, when we got him from you was very, um, like standoffish. Yeah.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
now he's my baby so he puts his head like when i put my arm down he lays his head and i have to be really careful because he still has his horns intact but he'll lay his head in and i'll just rub him underneath his chin and he'll just it's not like he purrs but it's kind of like yeah like he just loves it so much and then dolly is like you can touch me for as long as i want you to touch me but when i'm done fuck you like she literally will be like when's her birthday do you know
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
she's the female theobon yes literally yes like she's so fucking funny briley makes me laugh so freaking hard delaney is so peaceful yes and calm she's like a little fairy yeah yeah we say that all the time you'll see her in award shows and it's like it's like she's just floating around kind of thing yeah and we all come in
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
yeah yeah like hey we're here bitch like she just has such feminine energy she does she's such like a mom like i wish i aspire to be such like a gentle mom i could just see her being one of those moms that just like talks to her kids and i'm like don't fucking touch that
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
i'm such a marble mom a marble mom that's me that's exactly how i parent like thick eyeliner marble mom you don't even smoke though yeah but the energy i give is that i did yeah i never heard of that
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
Yeah. And consistency. This girl literally has never stopped. No. For as long as we've all known her. And I think also, which I think is funny because I mentioned this the other day, I don't think... people know that they know her sometimes. And I'm like, no, it's the girl from the Eminem video. Or it's the girl in My Strange Addiction. And they're like, that's the same person? I'm like, yes.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
Or America's Got Talent. You know her when you don't even know that you know her.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
Have you seen it? I don't know if she saw this. I would think we talked about this before she got here today.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
The fact that they just had to go in front of Congress recently. Have you seen this? I watched it. I literally watched their board sit in front of Congress and they say anything. Did you purposely pay people to do random checks and give them incentives to bag check people for an additional $10 per bag? And they said, yeah, we did.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
So people would literally sit there and be like, oh, I want an extra $100 on my check this week. Cool. One, two, three. I'm going to pull all your bags. I'm charging you. Doesn't matter. They sat in front of Congress and admitted to this.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
Oh, a lot of aircraft movies have been coming out recently. Airports and aircraft. Cause I watched that one, the carry on. Did you guys watch that?
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
The first few episodes were good. Why are we talking about airplanes so much in media right now? It's kind of weird.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
This is when you decide to start doing it. And it's is it because Congress called you out on the bags?
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
do we know I don't know the CEO but like I did watch their board you know talk and I'm just like and they're the people who talk in circles which pisses me off yeah that's annoying he would literally ask a yes or no question and they'd be like well and then go on this like spiel and he at the end he would be like so do you and they'd be like yeah I'm like, you could have said that the first time.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
Don't try to explain yourself. Like, you were already caught for doing what you fucking did.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
It's really insane what we're witnessing going down with all this. And like you said, the mechanical side of things.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
The minute she sent it, I said, Haley, what time is it? I was like, Haley, we were, and I text you immediately. I was like, we were literally supposed to be, I didn't text you this, that flight that we were supposed to be taking the exact time and the exact path. Granted, it was different cities. Well, we would have been leaving this side of it, flying over that incident.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
Either we would have seen it or we would have been, like, right at it. We would fly over D.C.? Yes, because, like, we were right above D.C. Wow. And our flight path would have brought us... Typically, it does. It doesn't go inland. Typically, it just goes straight like this. Yeah. We would have literally had been taking off an hour outside. Wow. Hour and a half.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
That was so weird to me that the universe aligned everything. And then like, we're watching this happen and like,
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
what's so sad is like who was on i mean it's sad regardless but like they have so many stories behind these people because they're public-ish figures so like people are just pulling out like instagram stories of people taking off and like those kind of things i literally saw one of the ice skater like kids i literally went to his instagram and his last story like 14 hours ago was the wing of the plane and that's like where it hit too yeah
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
Oh, my God. And I think we were looking at it when I got here and it said by the time the people entered the water, they only had 30 minutes to survive before because they're so cold. No, 30 minutes, it said. So by the time they would have even gotten their first responders, there's no way you could have survived the plane and died from hypothermia.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
They just found the three soldiers that were on that Blackhawk. But none from the... They've only found 13 of the plane. Oh, my God.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
They shout you out on their stories often. So I love to see you reposting them. They're like in the bathroom taking selfies.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
um love yeah yeah and then these are dropping black on black bunny xo hoodies sweatsuits full sweatsuits bunny xo sweatsuits i've literally lived in this since you gave it to me oh good oh jason too jason i like every time i turn around he's wearing his he loves it loves it i'm a hoodie slut so i'm wearing mine all the time And we also have the Bunny XO t-shirts coming out.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
And it's like the photo shoot we did at the Bridgestone. And then we have a Chachi shirt that you teased a couple weeks ago. I don't have the Chachi one. I'll have her send you that one too. I think it came in like two separate merch ones. So we have the Bunny XO shirt, the bunny sweatsuit, the Chachi shirt, and the hat that you sneaked into a video the other day.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
Yeah, I'm so excited for the new season. And we, you know, we're doing a couple more of these this season where all three of us kind of sit down and we discuss what's going on, what's happening in the world.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
currently and like an update on our lives so every few weeks you're going to hear from us and then we have some really cool like music stuff we're going to start teasing and i'm excited leaning into the music side of things really cool musical acts are going to be coming on the podcast it's something that we've really kind of manifested i'm excited about that so literally some of these dudes i'm like you guys are hot
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
Exhausting, I bet, because you're literally having to, one, think about it, how you want to articulate it, and then living through those emotions again. It is fucking brutal, dude, but...
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
You guys, if I had the patience, I would. I'm obsessed. I don't know how to do it. I'm afraid I would poison myself. The starters are scary, though. They look like they're alive. Obsessed with it. When I tell you I could make it if I had it, no problem, but it's the patience.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
I didn't think it was real. My butter is delicious. Okay. How do you make it? You literally just put it in a mixer.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
motherfucker i need something hard i want something complex then you gotta put it in the water and then you gotta squeeze it then you gotta season it then you gotta roll it that kind of stuff but like actually ingredient wise is just heavy whipping cream in a blender for like or a um a thing for 20 minutes i need non-dairy options let's do the real hard is there non-dairy whipping cream yeah
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
Jason is traumatized after you accidentally ordered him gluten-free bread on his Jimmy John's and he talks about it quite often.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
He said it tastes like cardboard. no way oh yeah he was like he got my sandwich then no you ordered everyone's because it was like a party oh and he was so traumatized to this day he's like i will not let bunny order me a sandwich i have to put it in myself i didn't even know god what the fuck is this
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
You're allergic also, and so you probably don't feel the same when you eat it, too.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
That sounds like something you would do. He should be thankful I saved his stomach that day. He probably got something on the way home.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
Boston literally looks over and goes, I gotta hold hands, man. He goes...
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
rooftop pools and stuff. It's crazy in Puerto Rico. Didn't know Puerto Rico was like that.
Dumb Blonde
Jelly's Romantic Surprise
They were cheaper when we first started looking, but because we waited so long and we were like three days before. Right. They tripled in price.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
When I tell you all the Lindas and the Debras who were like, I would eat him up. I was like, ma'am, let me see you try. Please, Debra. Come for my husband. I love that.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
He does. He gets hit on by older women all the time. It's always at the Dollar General.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
what yeah he frequents the dollar general and they they love him i love that he is like a white trash american dream a thousand percent literally they're just like he's jelly roll do you know how many people think he's we literally got stopped in an antique store the other day and she goes honey are you jelly roll and he said no ma'am she goes oh i just love him oh my goodness he said okay see i've never
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
Yeah. And I mean, it's just I get it. Like if you're not paying close attention, they both. Yeah. Beards and their big dudes like the amount of times when we first moved here that he got called Big Smough. I got pictures taken with him.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
It was when Big Smo had a TV show. This is when Big Smo was big.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
Go him for his health journey. But he did this before like Ozempic and before.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
We can ask him. He had some health issues and I know after that, I maybe just scared him. Scared him straight.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
Yeah, that's how it happens though. That's what happened with my husband. Yeah. go ahead you ready we're doing more oh yeah honey did you blow your wad all in all in the beginning oh no we got we got more okay all right this one said randy decided when i did a before and after of my green hair to my orange hair to tell me looking rough what the heck
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
Randy, I looked at your profile and you don't have all your teeth. I need you to step back a little bit. Bro, it's always the one with piano keys for teeth. He's having trouble.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
You know? I mean, we didn't know that. But I'm glad that you educated us in that because we would have never guessed. Yeah.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
I posted a picture of me in shorts, which, mind you, again, didn't wear shorts for 17 years, guys. I am very confident in wearing shorts now. I wear them any chance I get, unless it's, like, fucking 10 degrees outside. Then I don't wear shorts. But David decided to say, can I gain 400 pounds and tattoo my 30-inch thighs asking for a friend? Oh. David. David.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
I hope you slip in the shower and fall butthole first on a shampoo bottle. Ooh. Yeah. Yep. That's a good one.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
Oh, I don't understand. If you kiss too much, oh, my God. Yeah.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
Yeah. What do you think he would think of you? Yeah, Jesus is watching.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
What do you got for me memes? Anything? So everyone knows, you know, jelly rolls, our dad. Oh. And so I posted a video saying I wanted a cow to be under my Christmas tree. Like I want to wake up tomorrow and there should be a cow under my Christmas tree. Yeah. He said, my dad is famous. Do I make videos to get more attention so I can be famous? Ha ha ha. What a joke. Honestly, we don't care.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
Richie? Richie, you care, baby. I feel like you cared with that comment.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
Wrong fucking person. I want to see what Richie looks like. Richie doesn't have a profile picture. His profile picture is a mean cracker.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
I kind of, yeah, maybe. We need a name for it. I feel like Golden Girls is copyrighted.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
Oh, I pulled up our first photo shoot together. I can't believe how different you look. Like you've always been beautiful. It's just like a different era of your beauty. You've gotten younger.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
I will say, Craig circled back and told me I was a moldy muffin.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
A whole different video. Bro, moldy muffin. Moldy muffin, you guys. Please.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
I literally found that and I started fucking dying. Listen, Craig, you're invited to the barbecue. You're allowed to hang out with us anytime. I go by crunchy muffin. So for the fact that this man sat there and was like moldy muffin. Get the fuck out of here.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
You texted the other night and I wanted an explanation.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
We were so drunk. Which one's Jelly Roll? Yeah. Oh. You guys look rough. You guys. One girl. Wait. Explain the video, though. We were so drunk that night. Yeah, we were like five shots.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
It's funny. I don't feel like people sometimes understand how the internet works either. No. I don't think people get voiceovers. I don't think people get voiceovers at all. Like one person literally said one time, you sound really different.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
That was sweet. That was nice. Full of assumption, but sweet. Full of assumption, but sweet.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
So no handler, no Illuminati, no nothing. I will say if you were in the Illuminati, I feel like you'd be the one to get kicked out of the Illuminati because she'd be spreading all the secrets.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
She would name it Illuminati secrets on the podcast.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
Yeah, work daddy just walked in. Work daddy's in the house. Oh.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
All right, go. So this was on the same video about the cows. I asked for a cow for Christmas, and Susan said, please. Eye roll emoji. So out of touch. Cry for all the starving children, moron. The amount of dots that are in here. Dot, dot, dot, touch. Dot, dot, dot, children. Crouchy. Shh. Go ahead. And she said P-U-L-E-A-S-S-E. So police is how she spelled it. But yeah, Susan, I got my cow.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
You think I'm going to choose to be in my 40s if I'm going to lie about my age?
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
Guys, we don't do the makeup for you. We do it for other women. I didn't do this for any man.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
Well, this was fun. Oh, you got another one. Craig circled back, guys. Oh, my. Did you just reply to him? Craig? No, I haven't replied to Craig at all. Craig circled back one last time with a review. Why do you get the circle backs? I love it. Craig came back for a third time, guys, after the moldy muffin. Okay, so he kept going. This is another video that I reviewed.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
If you guys know, if you follow my social media, I review restaurants or things to do in Murfreesboro, right? I went to a Mexican restaurant that is one of my favorite in Murfreesboro.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
He said that's exactly why your grotesquely obese body needs. Got it.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
what the fuck man but craig um let's invite me your size and address i would love to send you some yeah craig craig come on i love just fucking does craig where does craig live does it say it on his profile no it doesn't it's just private no no profile picture dm be like yo can you you know like are we friends at this point i feel like friend request Oh my gosh, should I? Do it.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
They put like literally episode season one, episode one, King of the Hill. Classic. I think it's Netflix or it's Disney. One of the two. I think it's Disney. And I saw it and I like turned it on. And my kids were so it was really funny. They were like all over the place last night. We're just trying to get him to chill out. Tell me why both my kids chilled out.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
the hell out to some king of the hill i mean just kick back but try it she's like shirtless just yeah try american dad too please yeah have you ever watched american dad have you ever watched american dad yeah i've seen every episode am i not roger yes a thousand percent the little wigs that he
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
every character like if i could just be just be like how he is yes oh bro family guy i'm a very adult cartoon person that's like my thing yeah and so the american dad the um family guy all of that yeah simpsons oh yeah i never thought i grew up on simpsons i did jay loves the simpsons that's all he used to watch when we first got together i'd be like that and family guy
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
I was like, that's literally what I was going to say. If a reel pops off, the hate comments.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
Are we explaining what they're commenting under or just reading the comment? I'll try to remember.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
Someone's go-to is like, oh, it's a filter. So much makeup.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
I feel like people can insult you, but the minute you reply back and tell them they look like ramen head.
Dumb Blonde
Reading Mean Things People Say About Us
um we could do three at a time too if you want no it's gonna blow through mine too quick oh i couldn't find too many good for you you cunt i don't like to dive deep in those things this one um i posted a before and after of my weight loss because i'm almost at like 60 pounds gone now and chris said the honey boo boo show is back so thanks chris
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
i had to tear down a job so i could set up a new one and as i was tearing it down i found some asshole had tightened up these bolts with all of their might so the first two were super tight and i figured it was just two so i got i go ask a guy to loosen them for me so when i started working on the next set there's a set of four two bolts on each side and there was one that were the same
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
But this time, my pride started getting in the way. Not wanting to seem helpless, I am pushing my whole lower body weight into these bolts and... I get the second one off. By the third, I am literally sweating. I am putting my whole ass into getting these bolts off. Finally, I am on the last one and I am tired and I am pushing as hard as I can and I feel a pop. Oh no.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
Immediately, I think I gave myself a hernia and I am just trying to get this bolt off before the pain finally kicks in. Bolt comes off but it wasn't The pain. I had no idea what had just popped. I set up the new job, run to the bathroom before I get started so I can pee, and as I am wiping, I accidentally grazed my ass and immediately felt a stinging sensation.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
I immediately realized what happened. I reached down to verify, and the diagnosis was I had blown out my butthole.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
I spent the next five hours walking around with my rectum hanging out until I could get home to get myself cleaned up so I could push it back in. Apparently, a side effect of rectal prolapse is gas. So every time I farted, it felt like my butthole was blowing a raspberry.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
Howie Mandel literally posted a prolapse butthole on his like Twitter or Instagram. No, he's like asking for a friend posts a photo.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
yeah that i mean i get that you were trying to be almighty and not ask a man for help but ask a man for help yeah baby it's okay let's let them blow their buttholes out we don't need to do that i'm just so confused i could come out all right pull it up no oh no i'm joking we'd have to blur it out oh we're not putting it on the screen but i need to show her
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
The first thing I only got the P R O and it says prolapse to anus.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
It was like it was chewing bubble gum and went to go blow a bubble.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
I get it. I like that he included that in the birthday. Was it bloody?
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
No, it just showed the inner meat. The inner meat was now an outer meat.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
I'm down. Yeah. And just have like the cows and donkeys. Yeah. If we can get them all together.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
That's so awesome. Yeah. It's just award shows are cool.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
just like I mean I finally am making my house a home and I think that's like the most important thing to me then having the farm animals make it so much more like Jason told me yesterday he goes I love to see you wake up with a purpose sometimes he goes and so watching you like because normally I'm kind of like you when we wake up it's like This is my me time.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
This is like I'm going to sit here and catch up on everything I missed overnight, emails, that kind of thing. And now I move that part of my day a little bit later and I immediately get up, put boots on and we're outside. So he's like, it's been really cool to watch you wake up with a purpose. And I think that was super special.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
I love that. She's like, I went to two other places. It was boring, so I went back to the OG, and it was popping. Great.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
The wallpaper was kind of peely. I hate shitty wallpaper.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
Yeah. So she rents the place and the guy had to come over the other day and she was like, oh my God, I didn't tell him I remodeled the whole place. He walks in and he's like, oh my God, like this is incredible. I got so scared.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
I'm taking out the safe. She's FaceTiming me the other night, and she goes... I'm going to paint my cabinets. I said, Haley, what is eight o'clock at night? She goes, Lowe's is open. I'll call you back. Calls me from Lowe's. What about this color? I was like, Haley, you really going to go home and do that? She's like, yeah. Calls me after she's finished.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
There's pee pads all over the floor around it. So she doesn't get paint on the floor. And she's like, what do you think? Paints her cabinets. She goes, should I paint those over there too? And I was like, I mean, you're already at it. Go for it. Calls me back. They're painted.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
What are the two other things that were on that order?
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
Oh, they're so little, they can't get over the fence. Yeah. Good to see you. My goodness. Pablo can plop his head on top of the fence like that.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
Put a little gate in the little beach area and just let him splish splash in there. Yeah. Oh God. What if he takes a big old dump in there?
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
No. Should we get pools for them in their little run?
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
He tries to eat plastic out of my hand all the time. We had that issue with Pablo the other day. He got a hold of some cardboard. Yep. Yeah. As we were building the chicken coop. Yeah, cows aren't that smart.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
This girl wrote into us and said, I want to start this off by saying I know this was very wrong. Love it already. Oh, I'm obsessed, right? My ears are perked. She said, hello. A few years ago, I bought a secret camera off of Amazon that was disguised as a cell phone charger because I wanted to watch my now husband, boyfriend at time, jerking off.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
that's hot oh something about it was so intriguing to me i just wanted to see the visual of him pleasuring himself so one day while i was out of town when i knew he was home i sent him a few naughty pics and then jumped on my secret camera app and watched him
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
dilly his dally i feel so bad for invading his privacy like that i think it was the worst thing i've ever done to this day he has no idea i threw the camera away i fear i will have to take this to my grave oh god i would tell him i'd be like bro i watched you walk off and it was hot
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
what yeah did he need that much help no he had a perfect wiener like i didn't understand i was like what is happening like maybe he liked the feeling yeah i wonder if it's like i wonder if that was like him jerking off yeah maybe that's what he did to get off maybe probably it's like a secret that he probably was trying to take to his grave and you just stormed in on him
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
I get that. Yeah, and to them, it may seem perfect.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
The manpower behind. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, your mental capacity to be able to just.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Drop the Penis Pump Bro
Um, this one was sent in. What? Privately. Fucking bitches. Um, Hot. Hot.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Hailee Tries FB Dating
But you're going to get busted now too. You're on Facebook dating. Yeah, you're on Facebook dating. How are you on Facebook dating if you've got.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Hailee Tries FB Dating
I'm confused with what happened in the 30 minutes though. Didn't you say he sent you like a morning text message? Yeah, he was like, I'm fucking dead this morning. And you didn't reply.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Hailee Tries FB Dating
It's such a small window, too, because my brain first goes to, like, maybe he stayed up that night and, like, looked you up. Well, he's gone.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Hailee Tries FB Dating
When you were on FaceTime, you said his family came in.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Hailee Tries FB Dating
I just feel like how can you make a decision like that in 30 minutes? Yeah. I guess 30 minutes is a long time, but like you send a good morning-ish text. Yeah. We can sit here and speculate all day long. Hey, didn't we want to prank call someone? Give me his number. He wouldn't know. You wouldn't give a shit to Sane's number?
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Hailee Tries FB Dating
let me know when you're ready for the number um i thought i could call from here but it's not letting me google meet google like that i have a burner app yeah go ahead yeah do that this isn't working because i feel like if it looks like a blocked number restricted id he's gonna know it's me no i got it right here oh the only problem is is it won't let me burn the app unless i've had the number for 10 minutes so i should just call from my backup phone and just block him
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Hailee Tries FB Dating
He might think that like that might be his family. And it's a Southern California number, right?
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Hailee Tries FB Dating
I like that. Don't do Jessica, though. Do like... Evie. Do Tara.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Hailee Tries FB Dating
I gotta leave the room then. Everyone look away.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Hailee Tries FB Dating
Yeah. We're going to make him fall in love. We are going to be the perfect woman ever. And then we're going to fucking break his heart. I like it. Okay. Tell me what it looks like. Show me your asshole.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Hailee Tries FB Dating
All right. So we're going to leave it there. We have just text. We will update you on the next Ask, Tell, Confess that we film. Not the next one that comes out. Or the next podcast. Yeah. And we'll figure it out.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Hailee Tries FB Dating
Something that we record next is going to have this update.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Hailee Tries FB Dating
Who do we know that's single, guys? He texts back. No. No. See you guys next week. Bye.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Hailee Tries FB Dating
She saved all of us. She was like, I have information for all of you guys.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Hailee Tries FB Dating
Okay, we helped her set up a profile. In the kitchen. In the kitchen. We made a little profile for you.
Dumb Blonde
Ask, Tell, Confess: Hailee Tries FB Dating
I didn't want salmon. I said it four times. Okay.