Melissa Wood-Tepperberg
Appearances
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
I remember just like getting up, looking in the mirror and being like, I hate you. Wow. Like I had so much hate towards myself and I was just I just had like tears rolling down my face and I was like, I don't I don't want this anymore. I don't want to live like this. I can't live like this because it's going to end badly. I could feel it.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
And I also knew carrying down that road was like the easy way out because I was so good at taking everything down in my path. But like you didn't know it. But like I was like mass destruction was a skill that I could that I had mastered.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
People are always surprised by this stuff. And that's honestly why I share it and why I felt I needed to because.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
And then, you know, that that moment there is when I so vividly saw like these two roads of life, right? And this like gorgeous tree in the middle. And I just so vividly remember this moment. And it was like, you can keep going here and we know where that's going to end up. Or you can choose to create this different path for yourself.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
And it's going to be really hard because it's going to be everything you don't know but it can, it's like the path of like waking you the up. And I just remember, I was like, okay, I'm, I, I want it, but I need help. And that was the biggest moment for me because from being a little girl who thought that she could fix every single thing. And like, I carried the weight and,
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
of everyone and my siblings and I have always been the savior and coming in and trying to do all the things and buying my parents the house and like anything that I could do to save everyone. But I was just not saving myself. So it was this moment of like giving over and not relying on my own strength for the first time in my freaking life. And that was like the doors opened.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
and you you knew that you couldn't do it all on your own anymore and you said i need support yes so what did you allow yourself to do after that i called my friend and asked for her therapist number i was like i need help i need your therapist and like that was like the start But I lied to my, I mean, I like lied to my therapist. I was taking Adderall.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
You know, I, I like, I did want help, but it is really hard to break the cycle. Sure. Yeah. And to break the patterns. And I was lying and she would, she was strong. She was like the mother that I always kind of like needed to anchor me and call me out on my
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
tough love super tough love so you know i would come in all like adderall out and i was like buying out or it was just it was like i got rid of one thing and i was looking for the next you said you wanted help but really inside of you you're like i still can do this myself and i'm not going to give everyone the full picture and i think i did really want help but when you are so used to
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
attaching yourself to chaotic things to keep moving forward, it takes time.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
What's going to happen?
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
Oh, and I was very good at if the chaos wasn't there, I will bring it.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
Oh, my God. And relationships, things with friends were like being able to really self-reflect and see where you are just a disaster in disguise. Like it is. hard work. And I will be so honest with you today. Like I still to this day wake up and my first thought first from the moment I wake my eyes after doing this work for so many years goes to a dark place.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
Yes. But I now know how to get myself out. And it's just, it's, I think when it's so embedded in your nervous system, It takes so much time to get yourself out of that place. And I know now, I know when I'm bringing it. I know when I'm being self-destructive. And I'm definitely so far from that part of me, but she's in there, let me tell you. And I have great access to her if I need her.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
But, which is also, a good thing, which I've learned to really embrace and love and be like, you are one fiery pistol. God knows if we need it, it's there and the access is quick. But I'm just being honest. I mean, you know,
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
It's like the overwhelm. It's just like, oh, my God. It's that immediate almost like being on that wheel of anxiety. But I step off now. And I'm like, no, no, you know, and this is where I've cultivated this practice and this connection with source and knowing that I can connect at any moment in any time. And that is what.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
helps me see like the light of day and i you know i shared this once on i was doing a q a and i shared this and it was like the most viewed thing i had and i realized that There is still that part of me, right, that wants to, like, make things look really pretty with a bow. And, of course, I've cracked myself open. But there's still so much.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
And I think that is where I'm at right now today where I'm, like – I am so done just like ripping off these masks and really just being so radically transparent with myself, but also with people who are ready to do it for themselves too. Because it's not just for me and I think that's where this work has fueled something in me that I've always known was in there since I was a little girl, but it's
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
It's this choice every single day, like to this day. It's like I'm choosing, I'm choosing to stay devoted to myself.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
So instead of like, for me, instead of focusing on removing one thing that really helped me when I was in it, and still when I feel overwhelmed, it's like, what can I add in to help like make me feel just an ounce more at ease. And when my therapist started really calling me out on things, then it was like, okay, I can't even lie to her. Like, I just have to be honest.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
So it was like, that schtick was old. I couldn't do that anymore. But then I was finding, I was feeling this, like, I need to be told. Like I need to be told what to do. So I started seeing a health coach and I remember the first time I walked in and I was like, okay, give me the diet. I was in that mindset of like, tell me the thing, I'll do it and then I'll see results.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
And I was trying to lose weight because I wanted to be a model. And at this point I had gotten signed by a top agency, but it was like, I lost like 15 pounds.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
And I lost 15 pounds and then it was just this long road of torture because I thought that I was very into fitness and very into wellness, but my relationship to myself was still so disconnected that I was looking outside of myself for all of the resources. So I was taking what a trainer would tell me to do. You needed to do 45 minutes of cardio and then
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
45 minutes to an hour of strength training. And I became psychotic with that. So it was like every day, an hour of this. And I was working out two hours a day, writing down every morsel of food. It was so obsessive.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
It was exhausting. It was unwellness.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
So when I was in the height of really just – it was like micromanaging every single thing. I did get really, really thin, but it was unhealthy and I just looked – it was painful.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
No, I didn't feel healthy. And then – plus when you're – suffering from needing disorder, the flip can happen too, where then I started gaining a lot of weight. Yeah. I was like, when I was doing all the crazy workouts, hit workouts and running myself into the ground, I was actually at my heaviest.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
Yes. Because it was just pumping my body with cortisol. I was so stressed out going into workouts, stressed out leaving. And that was like a big, moment in my life, I remember so vividly leaving a super popular class with a popular instructor. And there's no shame because things work differently for people.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
And I think that this is where we need to cultivate these relationships with ourselves and see what really makes you feel in harmony with yourself. And I just remember I like got off the train 14th Street and I was walking and I was like, I feel horrible. How am I paying to feel worse? What is wrong? And I was just like, I think I'm just I was just searching. And then I started meditating.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
I felt this.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
So this was at this point. I it was like. 12 years 15 years ago i'm 41 you do the math 20 26 27 exactly late 20s and i've you know i still felt this although i was slowly it was like becoming more self-aware like patching things up as i was going but i felt that i was I was just out here for all the answers. Tell me and I'll do the thing. And I was covered in cystic acne.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
I had horrifying cystic pimples all over my face, my neck, down my back. And I did everything. It was like, I saw every dermatologist, I did Accutane. It was just, it was awful. And now I realize like that was my, how I internalized my anxiety for so many years. It was coming out in my skin. It was the stress. With a combination of products I was using and food for sure, environment.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
But it was my nervous system. Screaming at you. Trying to bang on my door. And I just felt like, you know what? I've got to go in here. Like I've got to like almost because I think when you are so dysregulated, you don't even know what home and safety is. So there was just this feeling that I felt I needed to take all of that and come in here.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
I started meditating. I've meditated every day since.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
And that's how I'm here. And I can tell you that for a fact. I know that with everything inside of me because it was the thing that helped me see myself for the first time for like who I really was and not any persona or facade that I had put on. And I was really interested in wellness, but because my relationship with myself was still so dysfunctional,
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
It was the thing that helped me look in the mirror and like find so much like deep love, like true love for me and for my skin and loving myself through my acne and not being at my happy weight. And it just helped me. It was like almost like just like defogging the lens and everything got like a little bit brighter.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
I was probably like a three, four. Really? The work that I was doing from like a one, two. So like I was – and that doesn't sound like progress, but it is. Yeah. And I think that's the thing that I – So you really hated yourself before that? I hated myself because of my actions. Really? I wasn't proud.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
Complete. Completely disaligned. And when you can, you know, I was, it was very much focused on the physical. And then once I realized that I could regulate from bringing some calm to my mind, even just a little bit,
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
wow then i started moving differently and this is when i started understanding like no wonder why like i don't like those classes are not working for me because they make me feel really stressed out and anxious and they bring out all that stuff that i'm like really working towards shifting
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
And then I started blending elements of Pilates and yoga and it was like I was just weaving these things together. But it felt like this like inner dance with myself. But it felt good. And I was not punishing myself for what I ate anymore. And I was just literally in flow. Like it brought me in this flow state.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
at this time i didn't even have 10 000 followers on instagram but i just felt this like it was like i have no idea how what where like what you're gonna do but Like you have to share this and you have to share this because you have to come back to that seven-year-old little girl who was looking outside the window when your dad drove away when my parents separated. And I felt like this is it.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
Like this is, unfortunately, like this is the car that I've been dealt and this is my life. And I think so many people who come from broken situations or even bad marriages feel like this is it. And It's not it. And you can change the course of your life at any point. Every moment is an opportunity to begin again, to do something different.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
than you did the day before, that just helps you feel so deeply connected to yourself. And, you know, I talk a lot about meditation and movement, and that is how I created a platform. But as I'm at this point in my life today, it's from being so connected to whatever it is you connect to. But to me, it's the creator. It's this higher power so much greater than me.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
And when I close my eyes and I meditate and I go in and I bring the energy to my heart, it's like I feel so surrounded and so safe and just reminded that I am being divinely guided. And we all are. when we can get ourselves to just take a moment. And I mean, I did it in the morning for 20 minutes this morning. Before speaking, I always like to really, really ground.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
So 20 minutes is like, I love that. However, that doesn't always happen. I am so consistent. But I'm super flexible. You have to be because I was crazy with all the things before and I'm not I'm not disciplined. I don't even love the word. It doesn't work for my nervous system because it makes me feel like I'm rigid and I write things down.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
I need to track and I need to know how many macros and micro and I'm just like, I don't know and I don't care. But when I'm feeling this. where I'm feeling this aliveness and this excitement for, honestly, like, it's so interesting because I feel like I've been through so much, so many deep challenges with work and just all of the things that come with being an entrepreneur.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
But I am so excited for no reason. It feels so good just to be like, show me, like guide me. And through staying so deeply connected is what has just continued me on this path of like cracking me open, had me set up that $24 tripod I got on Amazon, setting up my phone. I had no lights, no camera, zero editing. I mean, I literally would... I would press play and I'd be like, hi.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
And I would go and I'd run back on my mat. And then I'd be like, okay, today. And I would just like do the thing that I did myself, but I brought people along with me. And then the more that I started doing it, it was like people were like, Like, can you do that longer? Like, where can I get this clip? And, you know, it was like Instagram stories when that first came to life.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
And then I just felt this. I was like, I need a home for these humans who want the same thing. We all want it. We all want to be. You know, when I come back to like my why every day, I just want to wake people up to this inner strength within themselves. That's it. That's what I have to do for myself every single day. And through sharing it, it was just like, it was crazy. I couldn't believe it.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
I couldn't believe that I was... connecting with people all over the world who were like, thank you so much. And they were writing me these letters and I'm sobbing.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
And at the, you know, at this point I'm pregnant with my son and also coming to this place of like, I know what it feels like to be brought up in a disconnected home and like wanting to be so connected to it all, whether it was a little chaotic or completely, you know, a sense of calm. I just, I wanted to be with it. And it's, It's just been this incredible journey of what's next.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
Love. Exactly.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
No, of course not. And that's why I say I know I am here because of my practice. Yes. Because my practice keeps me grounded to myself. It keeps me completely locked in with what matters most to me.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
And like the thing that matters most to me in my life is having peaceful balance, peaceful harmony in my life, in my workplace, in my relationship with my family, with my friends, with every single thing that I do. And it's so interesting the more that I just kind of like give over because I can be a little bossy. Definitely bossy.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
They know. No, they know. But I'm not a micromanager. But I am a number eight on the Enneagram. And that has really helped me understand as an active controller. That's why I've remained the CEO. No matter what every single person told me that I needed to hire a CEO. I just, it never felt 100%. I've tried and tested a lot of things that were other people's ideas. And let me tell you, they don't.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
I hate to say it. And that's where I'm not always right. But when something feels completely wrong or I have nothing, do nothing.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
Nothing. I'm in such a flat place right now. And I feel, oh, my God.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
I'm just I am being.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
and it's wild what happens yes you re like it just it's so interesting because you know there there is this part like i've tried things i've had pr i've done all of these things and i i think when your mission is so big and you want to really spread your message as far and as wide you try things and even when it feels against the grain but i am such a sensitive energetic person that
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
I've just really learned that I have to listen to that. And when something just feels like even an ounce of force, like, listen, I could have pitched, you know, had Dylan on my team, reach out to everyone and all the pod. But I'm like, no, no. That is not the way for me. It's through true, authentic connections. And like, I just know that, right?
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
It's like, we met in the way that we were meant to meet. You reached out so flute, by the way, it was so nice. I was like, Oh, this is just like, so me, like, so organic, and it felt raw. And that's when I think the most incredible things come into your life. When you're not gripping.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
That's so honest. It's so true.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
I agree with that.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
I do. For me, it's like it is this – it's a higher power.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
I mean, it was disconnected. Yeah. There was no anchor.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
And there was no contentment. Like, just, like, feeling – Never happy. Oh, my God. Contentment is such a – oh, my God.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
Never good enough. No. No, no, no. Yeah. And I mean, I relate so much to your story with Marta, who I love, by the way. She's amazing. With Noah, like Noah, I feel like he was like a saving grace in my life because he's so calm. He's so grounded. He's like everything that I just was so unknown for me.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
And it was a massive part of me being able to drop into myself and to really go deep and do the work because I felt safe with him. And I felt this safe sense in my life that really, I think when you do have that, and it's very important that while he brought so many elements of that, I was discovering it within myself.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
I wasn't, oh, by the way, when we first started dating, I was like, he's going to save me. thank God I need to be saved. I thought he was going to save me. He was going to like, and then he wasn't really. Yes. I remember like he would wake up in the morning and he was like so happy and he would like be so excited for his day. And I would, I hated what I was doing. Wow.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
And I was just like, how do you feel like that? And like, how do you find your thing? Like I was so, I was like, the grip was so tight and I was just searching and he was like, Just try to – and I have – I still – it's hard for me to focus. Definitely undiagnosed ADHD. I mean it's just – it's there. But he said if you can just like pay attention to like the thing that you're interested in.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
And for me now, it's like, pay attention to the thing that lights you up and just give it a little focus. Focus a little bit on it. And I was like, okay. And I'm like, what the fuck does he mean? I'm fit modeling. And then it was funny because during my... like I would be fitting all day and I like worked as a fit model for years, but I was like making bank and it was like guaranteed cash.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
It was amazing money. And I wasn't like a big model, but I was like, I don't even care anymore. Cause that was exhausting trying with all these supermodels in the room anyway, like at least I'm making money.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
Yeah, exactly.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
I was making great money. And I just remember, like, when... Things really kind of turned on where, you know, I would go to my fittings and maybe the tech designer was like, oh, I'm feeling really tired. And I'm like, well, what is the first thing? Like, well, how do you go to bed? And what is the first thing you do when you wake up? And then it was like I was coaching.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
I started coaching, but I loved it. And then it was like, so when you're unhappy in a situation or if you don't love your job right now, bring a little joy to the job. You got to dig a little deep. And when I started doing that, wow. First of all, the lights go on. And I was like, I am so, I love helping people. And it was just like a little thing.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
I'm like, well, take magnesium, turn the lights down, put your phone away. And it's like nothing's changed. I'm still sharing all of these things. But then I started working. So I went to the Institute for Integrative Nutrition online, the online course, and And that for me was like, I didn't even want to do it because I hated school. And I was like, oh, God, you have to take tests.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
And they're like, it's open book test. And I'm still was like, oh, my God, just the idea of taking a test gives me severe anxiety. But I was like, you know what? I'm going to challenge myself. And I remember Noah saying, let me get it for you. Let me pay for the course. And I said, no. Thank you. But I have to do it for myself. If I let you pay, I'm just going to be like, oh, whatever.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
I knew that. So I was like, I have to earn this.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
I needed to invest. So doing that and then I started coaching people for free. I would meet them in coffee shops. And then I pitched myself to this integrative doctor. He'd never worked with health coaches before. He hired me. I was the first health coach he ever hired. Dr. Morrison, big shout out to you. Thanks for believing in me. And now they have health coaches in their practice.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
But it was like listening to that, like the focus for me really helped me understand that like, okay, I couldn't leave my job because I was making great money. But on the evening, maybe like a couple evenings a week, I dedicated a little time. And then the evenings became weekends. And then the weekend became, and then I had people who wanted to pay me. And then I was getting all these offers.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
And that was really it. That was when I was like, I think I can literally do this.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
And I started coaching full time. And I loved it. But I knew there was something missing. And I'm in that place right now. And it's so fun.
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
I felt like I loved talking through, but when I started blending movement, I became alive. And that was how I started teaching digitally. And I never, I'm not a trainer. I never started teaching in studio. I started teaching online. And then, you know, I feel like even after all of these years of doing this and the love, I love what I do. I am so...
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
grateful and so proud of myself that I'm like, you did it and you're still doing it and you're gonna keep doing it because the unfolding is what I've learned to really just get excited about, right? And I love speaking and I love
The School of Greatness
How To Transform Your Inner Chaos To Peace & Reclaim Your Power
being able to spread this, but also to help people apply their lives and their mess and their stuff to like, to really get them there to like hold, you know, it's like handholding and guiding along the way that I feel like is something that I love to do. But there's something that happens when I'm on stage or speaking where I feel, I feel at home.