Matt Sargent

Oh, holy fuck. What's up, bitches? I'm talking to all the 14 women here in this fucking sausage fest. This is cool. Anybody here from Austin? Three of the most boring fucking people you've ever met in your goddamn life. This city makes me want to kill myself.

Oh, holy fuck. What's up, bitches? I'm talking to all the 14 women here in this fucking sausage fest. This is cool. Anybody here from Austin? Three of the most boring fucking people you've ever met in your goddamn life. This city makes me want to kill myself.

Oh, holy fuck. What's up, bitches? I'm talking to all the 14 women here in this fucking sausage fest. This is cool. Anybody here from Austin? Three of the most boring fucking people you've ever met in your goddamn life. This city makes me want to kill myself.

I would have already drowned myself in Lady Bird Lake if it weren't for the fact that anybody that finds my dead body is just gonna assume that it's a gay one. Hey, it looks like it's one of them floating queers. He's floating face down, look at him. Oh, thank God. This is going better than I thought it would. Hell yeah. This place is fucking bright. Jesus. So many ugly people.

I would have already drowned myself in Lady Bird Lake if it weren't for the fact that anybody that finds my dead body is just gonna assume that it's a gay one. Hey, it looks like it's one of them floating queers. He's floating face down, look at him. Oh, thank God. This is going better than I thought it would. Hell yeah. This place is fucking bright. Jesus. So many ugly people.

I would have already drowned myself in Lady Bird Lake if it weren't for the fact that anybody that finds my dead body is just gonna assume that it's a gay one. Hey, it looks like it's one of them floating queers. He's floating face down, look at him. Oh, thank God. This is going better than I thought it would. Hell yeah. This place is fucking bright. Jesus. So many ugly people.

This is a very Austin crowd. You know what I mean? It's a very diverse crowd. Never seen so many different kinds of white people in my life. All right. Well, I guess that's all my time. My name is Matt Sargent.

This is a very Austin crowd. You know what I mean? It's a very diverse crowd. Never seen so many different kinds of white people in my life. All right. Well, I guess that's all my time. My name is Matt Sargent.

This is a very Austin crowd. You know what I mean? It's a very diverse crowd. Never seen so many different kinds of white people in my life. All right. Well, I guess that's all my time. My name is Matt Sargent.

Good hair on top of my head, and then I got a lot on my ass, so I think that's a personal issue. Okay, prove it. Absolutely not.

Good hair on top of my head, and then I got a lot on my ass, so I think that's a personal issue. Okay, prove it. Absolutely not.

Good hair on top of my head, and then I got a lot on my ass, so I think that's a personal issue. Okay, prove it. Absolutely not.

This is a nice belt buckle. I'm not unbuttoning this for nobody except Mr. Tony Hinchcliffe here, all right? Matt, what are you into exactly?

This is a nice belt buckle. I'm not unbuttoning this for nobody except Mr. Tony Hinchcliffe here, all right? Matt, what are you into exactly?

This is a nice belt buckle. I'm not unbuttoning this for nobody except Mr. Tony Hinchcliffe here, all right? Matt, what are you into exactly?

No, I just thought it was kind of an easy jazz. I see a lot of glasses in here connected to a lot of weird-looking dudes' faces.

No, I just thought it was kind of an easy jazz. I see a lot of glasses in here connected to a lot of weird-looking dudes' faces.

No, I just thought it was kind of an easy jazz. I see a lot of glasses in here connected to a lot of weird-looking dudes' faces.

Probably not, but I was going to say, you freak me out because you talk like Bradley Cooper in the movie where he takes that drug. What's it called?

Probably not, but I was going to say, you freak me out because you talk like Bradley Cooper in the movie where he takes that drug. What's it called?