Matt Lieb
Appearances
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
And then they're like, oh, fuck, I didn't get to do what I wanted to do with my life. And now I'm miserable.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I mean, it's just like, I just look back now at my own childhood and I'm like, God damn it, if I can think of one friend where I knew what they wanted to do for a career, I don't think we ever talked about like, what's your career going to be? No one was like, I'm a doctor. You know, it was mostly just like, you know, how's your hip hop album working out? And they're like, good.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
And you're like, cool. And that was the whole thing. That's interesting.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
But once I do in a public school. Yeah.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah. Yeah. I went to public school, you know, my entire life. And I think most of my friends didn't. Either wanted to they were either going to go into the army or they were or they wanted to be famous musicians and or athletes.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I'm just saying like a level of ambition at a very, very young age has always been a turnoff for me when it comes to like friends, because it's just they always have that like sense where they're trying to get your some sort of stepping stone into their whatever their career path is. And I don't like it.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I don't know. I'm just going to take a break, have a gap year and join the military of a foreign country.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
They got to stop trying to have their own thing.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah, this is very there's a lot of foreshadowing going on. There's some foreshadowing.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
It's at least three boards.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah, I got zero boards under my belt.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
We really should find a board just to get us some certifications, guys.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
If you're a board out there, please.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Is there a board in the Universal Life Church? Because I am a minister slash Jedi Knight.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
All right. I'm board certified. Can you get me painkillers? You know, I know a guy. That sounds legal enough.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
yeah um yeah 11 patents is pretty good seriously one might say he's the wizard of oz there i think i read like six articles with variations of that title on the guy all right well i gotta go then bye guys it's just a fake journalist can't fucking help themselves oh you can't help yourself if you're anybody you see oz and you're like i gotta call him a wizard gotta call him a wizard
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Basically, how old is he at this point? He's in his 30s. Oh, man.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I mean, I don't know how to measure that, but he's he's very good. I mean, I don't know any other heart surgeons by name. So, fuck. Yeah. He's the guy. Yeah.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
The kidney meridian? Yeah, you got to get that meridian. That's the best part of the kidney is the meridian. That's the most delicious part of the kidney is the meridian.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I mean, this all feels like he's going to start turning his patients into foie gras. And I'm very excited for what's to come. This heel turn that he's going to take.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I kept just kind of asking everybody, anyone else think this is strange?
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
And he's the smartest doctor in the world. It's like one of those things where you're like, I feel like this is wrong, but I don't know enough to dispute it. So I'm going to let him fuck with my kidney meridian.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
And it seems like from what I can tell, that sounded non-invasive. It's not.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
They were throwing, you know, crystals and doing fucking pendulums over over him.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I kept just kind of asking everybody, anyone else think this is strange?
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Doctors fucking teach. That's what they do.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Just gifted money and just said. Start a magic doctor in school.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
You know, you can't blame people for trying to try any other alternative to, I mean, you know, something in which there is no cure in modern medicine.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I'd like to think that even at a hospital or a research facility with Western medicine, that they still peer review and try out different, you know, like alternative medicines. Right. You know, like some of them, some of them work. Some of them work like there was a time when, you know, acupuncture was seen as kind of like a crock.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
The inimitable Matt Lieb. Hey, what's going on?
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
And now it's like kind of just a standard part of Western medicine. It's just, you know, so.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I'm doing well. I'm excited to be here. Big fan of the pod. Love me some bastards. And you are, you do a Sopranos podcast and the name is, I believe, Pod Yourself a Gun? That's right. Pod Yourself a Gun.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
So I can't tell you how nervous I would be going into a lung transplant procedure and then hearing like this doctor's got to do a heart after you and then got a flight to Boston. I'd be like, you think you could maybe take your time with this, bro? Like, could I get that?
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
We're the world's only Sopranos podcast. Don't go looking for any other ones because they do not exist.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah, he's got his dad in the back of his head.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Telling him to murder that kid in the ice cream shop. Yeah, to kill that. Fuck it. Kill that fucking kid. He doesn't know what he wants to be. I mean, I imagine that would create a bit of a problem later in life with stillness.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
When you said the rock doc, I got concerned. I thought it was going to, like, replace people's hearts with crystals and shit. And I was like, oh, no, oh, no.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Oh, my God. I swear. She's like she seemed like she is just describing her own feelings and then just ascribing them to an open heart.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I should check in the vibes, dude. She's checking the vibes, just making sure, you know, the vibe dipstick is filled with oil.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I don't know what Reiki is. I've heard of it. Is it like when Mr. Miyagi rubs his hands together and then he puts his warm hand?
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah. You woke up with a blue moon in your eye and you decided I'm going to go get myself a gun.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Man, we are just veering into anti-vax territory and like anti-mask territory. People who just they Google stuff and then they go, this article right here says that masks actually cause COVID.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
My God, it's just like it's a real life Facebook group. You know, it's just like everyone already believes in all the stuff and they just keep like just cosigning each other's bullshit.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
They do it at least once. And and it's great. Yeah.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Go with God. That's all great. You want to relieve pain, try some morphine though, dog, because that shit, oh my God. And there's no downsides to morphine.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I can't think of one downside to morphine. Not a single one. It just feels good the whole time and you just need to take more.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah. The Russian.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I mean, energy is great, but Plavix works wonders. Plavix is a lot better.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah, it's a slippery slope to that, you know, downing that brain octane oil. Exactly.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
No, they spend that whole episode literally like dying of like cold and they're lost in the woods. But they spend all the time talking about how they're starving because they haven't eaten in 12 hours. It's the most Italian thing in the world. But I want to hear about this gun.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah. He's doing great work so far, you know, despite the little weird hard stuff.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
A little bit of energy, a little bit of heart surgery. It works out.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Man, that is... I mean, I'm low-key impressed that he impressed Oprah with the doo-doo shapes.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
They love talking about doo-doo. That's the thing.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah. I worked at this, this, uh, digital, uh, what do you call it? Like a digital production company. And the, the most famous person that we dealt with was a famous Facebook mom who had millions of followers and I would watch her stuff. And I was like, this is, you know, uh, Maybe the most awful shit I've ever seen is just a lady in a car yelling at people about kids. Yeah.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
And but she was a famous mom. I mean, if you can become a famous mom, you will be one of the most famous people in the country.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah, they're like, hey, listen, you can do that to people of color, but those are moms.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Those are white moms. That could be my mother. Yeah.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Who would have thought he'd be a bastard? A TV doctor?
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
No, they take an oath. TV doctors, they say do no harm and get good ratings. That's the Hippocratic Oath.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I kept just kind of asking everybody, anyone else think this is strange?
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
He's definitely America's Doctor. Just appealing to the lowest common denominator, the stupidest human beings on Earth.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Eat more bread. Everybody eat bread.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Stop defending Dr. Oz, Robert.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
You're very fair.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Say what you will. He was a vegetarian, and that's good for the environment.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I mean, I love that. It's literally sounds like an hour long special of people just thanking him, which might be the most narcissistic thing I think I've ever heard. Yeah. I mean, like, it's one thing for Oprah to do that because I think America does legitimately owe her thanks for just years of content, you know, but years of mostly dangerous health based content. Oh, yeah.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
No, I mean, it's awful content. But the fact is, it's it's quantity over quality in America. And, you know, but yeah. An hour of just thanking Dr. Oz and having people come up to him like, you saved me. It's fucking wild.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Oh, of the Brazilian of gods.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah. No, I did not watch him on Jeopardy, but I have seen the show and had no idea he was a bastard.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Oh, wow. You know, there's always that point. You know, I've listened to your show and there's always that point in the episode where the comedian or the guest has no other option but to just say, fuck, that sucks, dude. There's no other comment. But what? Oh, that's crazy. But, you know, hey, John of God, Dr. Oz, they're they all sound like great people.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah, because he's got to keep up all those TV dates.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
And in America, that is the ultimate marker of doing the right thing. Yeah.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
If you make a lot of money, then whatever you're doing is the right thing to do. Yeah. It's morally correct to make a lot of money.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Is it the products and services? No, my man. It's you. Because the episode's over.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah, that's very nice. Here I thought you were just trying to get me to talk about products and services. Well, thank you for having me on. I have a product and or service called Pod Yourself a Gun. It's a Sopranos podcast. And yeah, if you like the Sopranos or even if you don't, check it out on the, you know, wherever the podcast store is. Podcast.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I kept just kind of asking everybody, anyone else think this is strange?
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I agree. They're not hot. I've always said they're not hot enough. They're not hot. I look at them.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Doctors who fuck. That's the next level of health care in America. It won't be universal health care, but at least doctors will look fuckable.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
That's so sad. It's always sad when like an amazing doctor is a piece of shit. This is like how I felt when Ben Ben Carson turned out to be a Trump guy. I was like, but you're so good at the brain.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah. Yeah, they're the ones who think they're gods, right? They essentially have a god complex and they'll be really good at one thing and then they'll also think that they're good at like politics and shit like that.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
That's great. It just makes me glad that I never, you know, got really proficient in any one skill. Never gain skills. I never ever learn how to do things. You'll become too smart for yourself and think that you are God.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Snake oil salesman?
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
He's like a true lift yourself up by your bootstraps kind of guy.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah. Good for him. Started from the bottom and now he's on TV selling.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
the fuck like that's way too much stock into the year of what animal the year of the rat at least he wasn't born into the year of the pig and he's like well you what you got to do is you got to take your snout and put it into the trough of life and just you really got to just shove your face into food yeah as hard as you can you roll around in the shit and then you hope that someday you find another piggy to fuck and then you have little piglets it's like i was born in the year of the pig and that's why i dispose of bodies for the mob it's just
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
That's what you do. Well, that's a it's a nice take on year of the rat for him.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah. Like straight having like nervous breakdowns just from like trying to get good grades. Right. Once again, don't get good at anything. It's not worth it. Don't develop skills. Don't develop skills. You'll get seizures. You're at risk of seizures. You're at risk of your of your dad not loving you.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Stop caring about your dad, you know? Just coast.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah, start a Sopranos podcast. Start a Sopranos podcast. That's all you've got to do, dude.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part One: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Mamet, go kill that kid. Kill that kid. Murder that loser kid and tell me what you want to do with your life. God damn. That is way too much pressure. Way, way too much pressure to put on a kid. And it seems like the kids like that always end up becoming the like going into the career that their father wanted them to do. And then eventually their dad dies.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
There's a bunch of shit you can't explain. Magnets.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Millions of people gather around.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah. Especially when you're a doctor on TV.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Other than a very well-educated man.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah. oh my god i love it too just like yeah i was amazed by his ability to look into my eyes and diagnose that my dad will never love me how did he know how did he know it does bring me joy that prince charles got fucked with because fuck prince charles
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
It said the same thing. It said, your dad will never love you. That's all he does. He goes to famous people and he goes, your dad will never love you. Your dad will never love you so much.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Exactly. Like it stops people from stuttering. Do more cocaine. I mean, yeah, just the idea. And I've always found this in general to be the biggest load of horse shit is when people have, have said, you know, this is like an ancient healing technique.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
And it's like, you mean like bleeding people with leeches, you know, you mean like cutting off someone's leg because he got a fucking, a small infection on his toe.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah. Yeah. You're the guy. You're the person.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Most famous doctor in America.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's he has a literal responsibility to tell people that these guys are full of shit. But he also has a responsibility to his show sponsors and to the network for ratings.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah. They base that on what? Like, did people call in to say how many pounds they've lost to the show?
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah, but shit, I could have told you that. Give me a TV show. Yeah, you don't have to be a doctor to say that.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Eat better, piggies.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah, I don't trust me. So they won't give me the show, but they should because.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Man, I mean, he's getting there. I'm watching him slowly go from Mehmet to Mengele. Come on, let him be Mengele.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I get that you want to be fair, Robert, but let's go for it.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
But no, we're watching it turn into a snake oil salesman, and it's very exciting.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yes, I've seen this.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Just a Miller High life.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Mulberry, laudanum.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Oh, my God. I mean, first of all, did you say melatonin brownies? Yeah, buddy. What the fuck? I want to eat and just get tired immediately. That is very strange. Here's the thing about brownies. I've never eaten one and been like, I just want to relax. Like, no, I'm trying to get a little sugar rush.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Listen, pot brownies are very different. It's not it's not the same as relaxation. Like one is like an ambient brownie and the other one is like a brownie that makes you hungry for more brownies. Pot brownies make sense.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I mean, I guess I'd rather do that than just swallow an Ambien.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
It's bad for your health. I'll tell you that much.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Which is crazy that literally a relaxation drink could be contraindicated for your prescription medication.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Dude, I'm about to live to 200 years old. I ain't never dying, motherfucker. I ain't never dying. I get one out at least once a day.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. Is it sex? Because he didn't say nothing about sex. He said orgasms. And I do that on my own.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah, he's turning it into like pretending he has quantifiable data and that like correlation and correlation is causation like that. Yeah, that's that's what he's trying to do.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
It's nice to think it, though. It is nice to think.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
ink it i'm going to print out that article show it to my girlfriend and say hey you got to help me live longer you know not coming enough i'm gonna die we gotta do this more yeah just start fucking in public and when the cops come be like this is medicine yeah do you want me to die six years earlier than i should i have a right to this exactly dr oz said i should fuck more
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I mean, it's like this all feels very much like... when trump was telling everyone about uh the wonders of hydro uh hydroxychloroquine and then people are eating fucking fish food or like fish tank cleaner and dying and people like how could how could people be so stupid and it's like people are stupid you you can't tell them to eat the fucking fishbowl cleaner
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I mean, it is medical malpractice whether or not he's legally liable for it or not. I would agree.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Man, that's really bad. Did he have like an alternative or was he just like decided one day that Plavix was going to be the thing?
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah, yeah. Eat some beans and put your face in some boiled water and you should be fine.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
You know, Dr. Oz, the TV doctor said, I don't need this medicine. I just need more acai in my belly.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I want to talk to ghosts. I'm going to stop taking my Plavix and die of a stroke.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
True is true. Yeah, absolutely. 100% true. Yeah. How you exploit it is a very different thing.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Gotta love a good like coin flip on whether or not he's fucking lying to you and having an adverse effect on your health.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
But he would reframe it to be like, I'm batting 500 here and 500. That's a good batting.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
He's giving us alternatives to dealing with the bureaucracy of medical institutions in this country. I have a Kaiser and I had to go to a rheumatologist and I tried to get a hold of him on the phone and they sent me through six different call centers to finally get to his office. Specific office. And then I asked the lady, oh, can I get the extension so that I don't have to deal with that?
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
And she's like, oh, sorry, we're not allowed to do that. And so now now I'm just recording every phone call and just, you know, freestyling to the hold music. Because it's the only thing I can do. I'm like, you know what? I might as well turn this into content because this is fucking ridiculous.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
You know, there's like the amount of bullshit you have to go through makes people like Dr. Oz feel like a good alternative.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
What is it about giving people three hours of uninterrupted airtime? You know, there's just something about it.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Get like bones. You can fly like a bird.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I mean, he's not wrong. He's not wrong.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yes, yes, yeah. And there should legally only be one Sopranos podcast allowed, which, as it turns out, is the case.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I love when people say things like it's natural. It's like I think cyanide is natural. There's a lot of like natural poisons out there. Fucking snake venom is natural.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
God, I. Yeah, it's amazing. I'm just talking about I'm just asking the question.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I love it. I love people are like, I'm just asking the question.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah, dude, you're living the unregulated dream right now. Yeah.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
What I need to do is cut deals with specific companies so that you can only be taking their bone density loss drugs. Yeah, exactly. Good call.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
it's a hell yeah dude that's like yeah of the like anti-cancel culture letter you know they're just like stop trying to cancel dr oz it's freedom of speech your freedom of speech yeah i mean doctors also are held to different standards than the rest of us they take an oath
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah. It's on you if you listen to your crazy uncle Jimbo. It is definitely on the doctor if he recommends you lose some bone density so that you look better in that dress.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
God, he's Alex Jones-ing it.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
He's Jones-ing it hard.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
But you know it. And you can, you know, fucking you don't need a Dr. Oz to tell you that. You know, you just know.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
It's traditional medicine. Yeah, this is really good for all of my kidney meridians.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Feel my kidneys. Feel my kidneys. It's just like, why is your kidney swollen?
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
She was the only one who had the guts to stand up to Dr. Oz.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I love that a bipartisan decision is just like, let's share... This grifter, you know, between administrations like good, you know, got to all agree that you should be able to lie about health care as an MD.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
He said two to three percent as if that's not a huge number of people. He's losing his goddamn mind.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah, it's it's it's it's pretty wild to just look at two to three percent of the country as like expendable. If it means that my fucking dirtbag ass fifth grader can be stuck inside in a school all day. And listen, I get it. People with kids, they want their kids to go back to school. But you don't say the quiet part out loud.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
And it's weird to like, you know, be like, all right, it was a poor choice of words. And it's like, bro, at this point, saying words out loud to millions of people is your job.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Fucking fix some hearts already. Stop talking.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
The Dorm Room Diet. It's just free pizza and dick.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
We've all been there.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
There's always one Matt Damon who's writing most of Good Will Hunting and then there's a Ben Affleck who gets top booking.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
He's literally one year away from wanting to be buried with his cats. You know, like this dude wants some pyramids and some live cats in a casket with him. This is he's a pharaoh.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
And it's the one thing he's good at. I mean, I almost... And he's amazing at it.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
yeah no that that is bad that is that is definitely immoral to to like have the ability it's like being superman and having the ability to save someone from a burning building but being like fuck dude i'm kind of on my way to do this tv interview that's gonna get me more yeah but i'm gonna sell people pills instead what
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
It's such a sick way of looking at it, too. It's really fucked up. I'm already really good at it, so I decided... I want to go get into TV now.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I mean, it depends on the movie. But yeah, yeah, sure.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I mean, I guess he got tired of helping people and was like, you know, time to make some fucking bank. Yeah, it's I mean, it's not just make some bank, but he's like, man, I saved 10,000 lives. I'm going to have to kill 10,000 just to fucking net neutral this shit. You know, yeah, you know, he's just trying to he's trying to balance the scales of his good and evil.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah. He's so handsome, though, dude.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
He's very handsome. He made a lot of money. So that's good. And, you know, he's he's he's out there every day given given hope to people who are currently dying of a very, very treatable ailment and saying, no, dog, put your feet in some hot rice.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah, it's especially since it's it's again, he he has the God given skills to actually do good and help people. And he chooses, you know, this shit. And I gotta say, I blame his dad.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
You fucked up, dude. I mean, you did a great job by pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and yada yada. But, you know, maybe you should have maybe you should have maybe been more encouraging for him to just maybe, you know, pick one thing and stay with it rather than, you know, venture off into television. I will say, at least with the true crime stuff.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
that I know he's a little bit getting into our territory here with the podcast business, and I don't like that. But I'm glad I don't have a true crime podcast that he's currently cannibalizing. If he starts a Sopranos one... I will lose my fucking mind. If Dr. Oz decides one day, like I want to do a prestige TV rewatch show for CNN, that'll be it, dude. Oz, you'll be on my goddamn list.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Well, I mean, he's doing a true crime show. That's as close as you get to the podcast business.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
You know what I'm saying? Those are the number one pods out there, dude. Pisses me off.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
My name is Matt Lieb and, you know, I'm on Instagram. Matt Lieb jokes. Graham. Yeah, I'm on the gram. I'm also on Twitter at Matt Lieb. But follow me on Instagram. And yeah. And if you like the Sopranos, pod yourself a gun.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Oh, God. But but like but like what number, though, because you wonder what how high are you, motherfucker? Yeah, come on.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
He's cool, dude. He's living life in the most drab way possible. Just trying to make TV shows and do heart surgeries. Who has time to enjoy anything when you're dead? Joyless, efficient eating.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
If you want to eat monkey food... Eat monkey food. But don't, you know, be surprised when I judge you. You know, like it's that's weird.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I mean, really, though, like at some point you run out of shit to talk about and you have to just be like, oh, pendulums over the heart. Do they work?
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
I mean, just like there's only so many organs to talk about, you know, after a while you just got to invent shit.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
When you run out of bastards, eventually you just got to find one on TV.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
We all need off weeks. That is one of my favorite, absolutely real documents to read.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah, I'm actually one of the elders of Zion, and I got some protocols for you.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
Yeah, people were at least testing it out.
Behind the Bastards
CZM Rewind: Part Two: Dr. Oz: Why 'America's Doctor' Is A Bastard
You know, it depends how they're talking. If you go up to a dead body and start talking to it, you are technically talking to the dead.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
I'd like to think that even at a hospital or research facility with Western medicine, that they still peer review and try out different, you know, like alternative medicines. Right.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Some of them work. Some of them work. Like there was a time when, you know, acupuncture was seen as kind of like a crock. And now it's like kind of just a standard part of Western medicine. It's just, you know, so.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
So I can't tell you how nervous I would be going into a lung transplant procedure and then hearing like this doctor's got to do a heart after you and then got to fly to Boston. I'd be like, you think you could maybe take your time with this, bro? Like, could I get that?
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Telling him to murder that kid in the ice cream shop.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Yeah. Kill that fucking kill that fucking kid. He doesn't know what he wants to be.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
I mean, I imagine that would create a bit of a problem later in life with stillness.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
When you said the rock doc, I got concerned. I thought it was going to, like, replace people's hearts with crystals and shit. And I was like, oh, no, oh, no.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Oh, my God. I swear she's like she seemed like she is just describing her own feelings and then just ascribing them to an open heart.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
I'm checking the vibes, dude. She's checking the vibes, just making sure, you know, the vibe dipstick is filled with oil.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
I don't know what Reiki is. I've heard of it. Is it like when Mr. Miyagi rubs his hands together and then he puts his warm hand?
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Man, we are just veering into anti-vax territory and like anti-mask territory. People who just they Google stuff and then they go, this article right here says that masks actually cause COVID.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
My God, it's just like it's a real life Facebook group. You know, it's just like everyone already believes in all the stuff and they just keep like just co-signing each other's bullshit.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Go with God. That's all great. But, I mean, you want to relieve pain, try some morphine, though, dog, because that shit, oh, my God. And there's no downsides to morphine. That's the best part of it. I can't think of one downside to morphine. Not a single one.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
It just feels good the whole time, and you just need to take more.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Yeah, it's a slippery slope to that, you know, downing that brain octane oil. You know, exactly.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Despite the little weird hard stuff. Fine. A little bit of energy, a little bit of heart surgery. It works out.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Man, that is... I mean, I'm low-key impressed that he impressed Oprah with the doo-doo shapes.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Yeah. I worked at this, this, uh, digital, uh, what do you call it? Like a digital production company. And the, the most famous person that we dealt with was a famous Facebook mom who had millions of followers and I would watch her stuff. And I was like, this is, you know, uh, maybe the most awful shit I've ever seen. It was just a lady in a car yelling at people about kids. Yeah.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
And it, but the, she was a famous mom. I mean, if you can become a famous mom, you will be one of the most famous people in the country.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
They're like, like, hey, listen, you can do that to people of color. But those are moms.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Those are white moms. Those are white moms. That could be my mother.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
He's definitely America's doctor. Just appealing to the lowest common denominator, the stupidest human being.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Say what you will. He was a vegetarian. And that's good for the environment.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
I mean, I love that. It's literally sounds like an hour long special of people just thanking him, which might be the most narcissistic thing I think I've ever heard. I mean, it's one thing for Oprah to do that because I think America does legitimately owe her thanks for just years of content.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Oh, yeah. No, I mean, it's awful content. But the fact is, it's quantity over quality in America. Yeah. An hour of just thanking Dr. Oz and having people come up to him like, you saved me. It's fucking wild.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Oh, wow. You know, there's always that point. You know, I've listened to your show and there's always that point in the episode where the comedian or the guest has no other option but to just say, fuck, that sucks, dude. There's no other comment. But what? Oh, that's crazy. But, you know, hey, John of God, Dr. Oz, they're they all sound like great people.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Yeah. And in America, that is the ultimate marker of doing the right thing.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
If you make a lot of money, then whatever you're doing is the right thing to do. Yeah. It's morally correct to make a lot of money.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Is it the products and services? No, my man. It's you. Because the episode's over.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Yeah, that's very nice. Here I thought you were just trying to get me to talk about products and services. Well, thank you for having me on. I have a product and or service called Pod Yourself a Gun. It's a Sopranos podcast. And yeah, if you like the Sopranos or even if you don't, check it out on the, you know, wherever the podcast store is.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
What is it about giving people three hours of uninterrupted airtime? You know, there's just something about it.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Yeah. Yeah. One podcast. Yes. Yeah. And and there should legally only be one Sopranos podcast allowed, which, as it turns out, is the case.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
There's always one Matt Damon who's writing most of Good Will Hunting and then there's a Ben Affleck who gets top booking.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Oh, God. But but like but like what number, though? Because you wonder what how high are you, motherfucker?
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
He's cool, dude. He's living life in the most drab way possible. Just trying to make TV shows and do heart surgeries. Who has time to enjoy anything when you're dead? Joyless, efficient eating.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
If you want to eat monkey food, eat monkeys. But don't be surprised when I judge you. You know, like it's that's weird.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
I mean, really, though, like at some point you run out of shit to talk about and you have to just be like, oh, pendulums over the heart. Do they work?
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
I mean, just like there's only so many organs to talk about, you know, after a while you just got to invent shit.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
God. We all need off weeks. That is one of my favorite, absolutely real documents to read.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Yeah, I'm actually one of the elders of Zion, and I got some protocols for you.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
You know, it depends how they're talking. If you go up to a dead body and start talking to it, you are technically talking to the dead.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
is almost exactly what he said about john of god the guy who raped hundreds of people yeah that's how you know like to stay far away from anything when he's just like man this is uh this is a brand new groundbreaking territory and you can go all right guys it's a rapist run
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Other than a very well-educated man. A doctor. You're a doctor, Mehmet.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Yeah. Oh, my God. I love it, too. I was amazed by his ability to look into my eyes and diagnose that my dad will never love me.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
It said the same thing. It said, your dad will never love you. That's all he does. He goes to famous people and he goes, your dad will never love you.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Exactly. Like it stops people from stuttering. Do more cocaine. Yeah. I mean, yeah, just the idea. And I've always found this in general to be the biggest load of horse shit is when people have have said, you know, this is like an ancient healing technique. And it's like you mean like bleeding people with leeches?
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
You know, you mean like cutting off someone's leg because he got a fucking a small infection on his toe? Ancient.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's he has a literal responsibility to tell people that these guys are full of shit. But he also has a responsibility to his show sponsors and to the network for ratings.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
I think that's got to be the first time. That's got to be the first time it's ever actually been a relevant segue.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Yeah. They base that on what? Like, did people call in to say how many pounds they've lost to the show?
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Yeah, but shit, I could have told you that. Give me a TV show. Yeah, you don't have to be a doctor to say that. You don't have to be a doctor to know that shit. Eat better, piggies.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Yeah, I don't trust me. So they won't give me the show, but they should because.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Man, I mean, he's getting there. I'm watching him slowly go from Mehmet to Mengele.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
I get that you want to be fair, Robert, but let's go for it.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
We're watching him turn into a snake oil salesman, and it's very exciting.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Oh, my God. I mean, first of all, did you say melatonin brownies? Yeah, buddy. What the fuck? I want to eat and just get tired immediately. That is very strange. Here's the thing about brownies. I've never eaten one and been like, I just want to relax. Like, no, I'm trying to get a little sugar rush.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Listen, pot brownies are very different. It's not it's not the same as relaxation. Like one is like an ambient brownie and the other one is like a brownie that makes you hungry for more brownies. Pot brownies make sense.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
I mean, I guess I'd rather do that than just swallow an Ambien.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Which is crazy that literally a relaxation drink could be contraindicated for your prescription medication.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
I ain't never dying, motherfucker. I ain't never dying.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. Is it sex? Because he didn't say nothing about sex. He said orgasms. And I do that on my own.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Yeah, he's turning it into pretending he has quantifiable data and that correlation is causation. That's what he's trying to do.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
I'm going to print out that article, show it to my girlfriend and say, hey, you got to help me live longer. You know?
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Yeah. Do you want me to die six years earlier than I should?
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
when trump was telling everyone about uh the wonders of hydro uh hydroxychloroquine oh yeah we're gonna talk about that later and then people are eating fucking fish food or like fish tank cleaner and dying and people like how could how could people be so stupid and it's like people are stupid you you can't tell them to eat the fucking fishbowl cleaner
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
I mean, it is medical malpractice whether or not he's legally liable for it or not. I would agree.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Man, that's really bad. Did he have like an alternative or was he just like decided one day that Plavix was going to be the thing?
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Yeah, yeah. Eat some beans and put your face in some boiled water and you should be fine.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
The TV doctor said, I don't need this medicine. I just need more acai in my belly.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
I'm going to stop taking my Plavix and have a stroke.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
True is true. Yeah, absolutely. One hundred percent true. Yeah.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Gotta love a good coin flip on whether or not he's fucking lying to you and having an adverse effect on your health.
Behind the Bastards
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But he would reframe it to be like, I'm batting 500 here. And you'd be like, ooh, 500. That's a good batting average.
Behind the Bastards
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He's giving us alternatives to dealing with the bureaucracy of medical institutions in this country. I have a Kaiser and I had to go to a rheumatologist and I tried to get a hold of him on the phone and they sent me through six different call centers to finally get to his office.
Behind the Bastards
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specific office and then i asked the lady oh can i get the extension so that i don't have to deal with that and she's like oh sorry we're not allowed to do that and so now now i'm just uh recording every phone call and just you know freestyling to the hold music Because it's the only thing I can do. I'm like, you know what?
Behind the Bastards
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I might as well turn this into content because this is fucking ridiculous. You know, there's like the amount of bullshit you have to go through makes people like Dr. Oz feel like a good alternative.
Behind the Bastards
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And then he just pulled out a wad of money and he just started making it rain all over Congress.
Behind the Bastards
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I love when people say things like, it's natural. It's like, I think cyanide is natural. There's a lot of natural poisons out there. Fucking snake venom is natural.
Behind the Bastards
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I'm just talking about it. I'm just asking the question.
Behind the Bastards
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Yeah. I love it. I love people are like, I'm just asking the question.
Behind the Bastards
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Yeah, dude, you're living the unregulated dream right now.
Behind the Bastards
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yeah what i need to do is cut deals with specific companies so that you can only be taking their bone density lost drugs yeah i mean exactly good call fucking amazing yeah
Behind the Bastards
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Yeah, it's on you if you listen to your crazy uncle Jimbo. It is definitely on the doctor if he recommends you lose some bone density so that you look better in that dress.
Behind the Bastards
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But you know it. And you can, you know, fucking you don't need a Dr. Oz to tell you that. You know, you just know.
Behind the Bastards
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It's smoked. What could be so bad with smoking ham? It's smoked. It's good for my Q zone. It's traditional medicine. Yeah, this is really good for all of my kidney meridians. I need all the smoked hams I can get.
Behind the Bastards
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Feel my kidneys. Feel my kidneys. It's just like, why is your kidney swollen?
Behind the Bastards
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She was the only one who had the guts to stand up to Dr. Oz.
Behind the Bastards
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I love that a bipartisan decision is just like, let's share... This grifter, you know, between administrations like good, you know, got to all agree that you should be able to lie about health care as an MD.
Behind the Bastards
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That's barely anybody dying. That's barely hundreds of thousands of deaths.
Behind the Bastards
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He said two to three percent as if that's not a huge number of people. He's losing his goddamn mind.
Behind the Bastards
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Yeah, it's it's it's it's pretty wild to just look at two to three percent of the country as like expendable. If it means that my fucking dirtbag ass fifth grader can be stuck inside in a school all day. And listen, I get it. People with kids, they want their kids to go back to school. But you don't say the quiet part out loud.
Behind the Bastards
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And it's weird to like, you know, be like, all right, it was a poor choice of words. And it's like, bro, at this point, saying words out loud to millions of people is your job.
Behind the Bastards
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He's literally one year away from wanting to be buried with his cats. You know, like this dude wants some pyramids and some live cats in a casket with him. This is he's a pharaoh.
Behind the Bastards
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And it's the one thing he's good at. I mean, I almost... And he's amazing at it.
Behind the Bastards
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Yeah, no, that is bad. That is that is definitely immoral to like have the ability. It's like being Superman and having the ability to save someone from a burning building. But being like, fuck, dude, I'm kind of on my way to do this TV interview. It's going to get me more.
Behind the Bastards
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Because it's like, I'm already really good at it. So I decided I want to go get into TV now.
Behind the Bastards
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I mean, it depends on the movie. But yeah, yeah, sure.
Behind the Bastards
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I mean, I guess he got tired of helping people and was like, you know, time to make some fucking bank. Yeah, it's I mean, it's not just make some bank, but he's like, man, I saved 10,000 lives. I'm going to have to kill 10,000 just to fucking net neutral this shit. You know, yeah, you know, he's just trying to he's trying to balance the scales of his good and evil.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
He's very handsome. He made a lot of money. So that's good. And, you know, he's he's he's out there every day given given hope to people who are currently dying of a very, very treatable ailment and saying, no, dog, put your feet in some hot rice.
Behind the Bastards
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Yeah, it's especially since it's it's again, he he has the God given skills to actually do good and help people. And he chooses, you know, this shit. And I got to say, I blame his dad.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Son of a bitch. You fucked up, dude. I mean, you did a great job by pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and yada yada. But, you know, maybe you should have maybe you should have maybe been more encouraging for him to just maybe, you know, pick one thing and stay with it rather than, you know, venture off into television. I will say, at least with the true crime stuff.
Behind the Bastards
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that I know he's a little bit getting into our territory here with the podcast business, and I don't like that. But I'm glad I don't have a true crime podcast that he's currently cannibalizing. If he starts a Sopranos one... I will lose my fucking mind. If Dr. Oz decides one day, like I want to do a prestige TV rewatch show for CNN, that'll be it, dude. Oz, you'll be on my goddamn list.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Well, I mean, he's doing a true crime show. That's as close as you get to the podcast business.
Behind the Bastards
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You know what I'm saying? Those are the number one pods out there, dude. Pisses me off.
Behind the Bastards
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My name is Matt Lieb and, you know, I'm on Instagram. Matt Lieb jokes. Graham. Yeah, I'm on the gram. I'm also on Twitter at Matt Lieb. But follow me on Instagram. And yeah. And if you like the Sopranos, pod yourself a gun.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Matt Lieb! Hey, what's going on? Matt, how are you doing? I'm doing well. I'm excited to be here. Big fan of the pod. Love me some bastards. And you are, you do a Sopranos podcast and the name is, I believe, Pod Yourself a Gun? That's right. Pod yourself a gun. We're the world's only Sopranos podcast. Don't go looking for any other ones because they do not exist.
Behind the Bastards
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A niche TV show that only people who really like art understand. And that's why we talk about it. We talk about the art.
Behind the Bastards
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Yeah. You woke up with a blue moon in your eye and you decided I'm going to go get myself a gun.
Behind the Bastards
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No, they spend that whole episode literally like dying of like cold and they're lost in the woods. But they spend all the time talking about how they're starving because they haven't eaten in 12 hours. It's the most Italian thing in the world. But I want to hear about this gun.
Behind the Bastards
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Who would have thought he'd be a bastard? A TV doctor?
Behind the Bastards
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No, they take an oath. TV doctors, they say, do no harm and get good ratings. That's the Hippocratic Oath.
Behind the Bastards
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Yeah, I did not watch him on Jeopardy, but I have seen the show and had no idea he was a bastard.
Behind the Bastards
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Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I agree. They're not hot. I've always said they're not hot enough. They're not hot. I look at them.
Behind the Bastards
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Doctors who fuck. That's the next level of health care in America. It won't be universal health care, but at least doctors will look fuckable.
Behind the Bastards
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That's so sad. It's always sad when like an amazing doctor is a piece of shit. This is like how I felt when Ben Ben Carson turned out to be a Trump guy. I was like, but you're so good at the brain.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Yeah, they're the ones who think they're gods, right? They essentially have a god complex and they'll be really good at one thing and then they'll also think that they're good at like politics and shit like that.
Behind the Bastards
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It just makes me glad that I never got really proficient in any one skill. Never gain skills. Never ever learn how to do things. You'll become too smart for yourself and think that you are God.
Behind the Bastards
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He's like a true lift yourself up by your bootstraps kind of guy. Yeah.
Behind the Bastards
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Yeah. Good for him. Started from the bottom and now he's on TV selling. Well, that's his dad. Oh, that's his dad.
Behind the Bastards
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the fuck like that's way too much stock into the year of what animal the year of the rat at least he wasn't born into the year of the pig and he's like well you what you got to do is you got to take your snout and put it into the trough of life and just you really got to just shove your face into food yeah as hard as you can you roll around in the shit and then you hope that someday you find another piggy to fuck and then you have little piglets it's like i was born in the year of the pig and that's why i dispose of bodies for the mob it's just
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Just what you do. Well, that's a it's a nice take on year of the rat for him.
Behind the Bastards
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Yeah. Like straight having like nervous breakdowns just from like trying to get good grades. Right. Once again, don't get good at anything. It's not worth it. Don't develop skills. Don't develop skills. You'll get seizures. You're at risk of seizures. You're at risk of your of your dad not loving you.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Stop caring about your dad, you know, just coast, coast, find some dirt, eat some grubs. You'll be fine. Yeah. Start a Sopranos podcast. That's all you've got to do.
Behind the Bastards
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Mamet, go kill that kid. Kill that kid. Murder that loser kid and tell me what you want to do with your life. God damn. That is way too much pressure. Way, way too much pressure to put on a kid. And it seems like the kids like that always end up becoming the like going into the career that their father wanted them to do. And then eventually their dad dies.
Behind the Bastards
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And then they're like, oh, fuck, I didn't get to do what I wanted to do with my life. And now I'm miserable.
Behind the Bastards
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I mean, it's just like, I just look back now at my own childhood and I'm like, God damn it, if I can think of one friend where I knew what they wanted to do for a career, I don't think we ever talked about like, what's your career going to be? No one was like, I'm a doctor. You know, it was mostly just like, you know, how's your hip hop album working out? And they're like, good.
Behind the Bastards
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And you're like, cool. And that was the whole thing. That's interesting.
Behind the Bastards
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Yeah. Yeah. I went to public school, you know, my entire life. And I think most of my friends, um, Either wanted to they were either going to go into the army or they were or they wanted to be famous musicians and or athletes.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
I'm just saying like a level of ambition at a very, very young age has always been a turnoff for me when it comes to like friends, because it's just they always have that like sense where they're trying to get your some sort of stepping stone into their whatever their career path is. And I don't like it.
Behind the Bastards
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i'm just gonna take a break have a gap year and join the military of a foreign country yeah help suppress you know kurdish liberatory movements and stuff whatever yeah they gotta stop trying to have their own thing yeah yeah
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Yeah, this is very there's a lot of foreshadowing going on. There's some foreshadowing.
Behind the Bastards
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So we really should find a board just to get us some certifications, guys, just to get certified.
Behind the Bastards
Bonus: The Bastards of Oprah
Is there a board in the Universal Life Church? Because I am a minister slash Jedi Knight. I'm going to say that counts. All right. I'm board certified. Can you get me painkillers? You know, I know a guy. That sounds legal enough.
Behind the Bastards
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yeah um yeah 11 patents is pretty good seriously one might say he's the wizard of oz there i think i read like six articles with variations of that title on the guy all right well i gotta go then bye guys it's just a thing journalists can't fucking help themselves oh you can't help yourself if you're anybody you see oz and you're like i gotta call him a wizard gotta call him a wizard
Behind the Bastards
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Basically, how old is he at this point? He's in his 30s. Oh, man.
Behind the Bastards
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I mean, I don't know any other heart surgeons by name. So, fuck. Yeah. He's the guy. Yeah.
Behind the Bastards
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The kidney meridian? Yeah, you got to get that meridian. That's the best part of the kidney is the meridian. That's the most delicious part of the kidney is the meridian.
Behind the Bastards
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I mean, this all feels like he's going to start turning his patients into foie gras. And I'm very excited for what's to come. This heel turn that he's going to take.
Behind the Bastards
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And he's the smartest doctor in the world. It's like one of those things where you're like, I feel like this is wrong, but I don't know enough to dispute it. So I'm going to let him fuck with my kidney meridian.
Behind the Bastards
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And it seems like, from what I can tell, that sounded non-invasive.
Behind the Bastards
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Yeah, they were throwing, you know, crystals and doing fucking pendulums over him.
Behind the Bastards
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Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Doctors fucking teach. That's what they do.
Behind the Bastards
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Just gifted money and just said, start a magic doctor in school.
Behind the Bastards
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You know, you can't blame people for trying to try any other alternative to, I mean, you know, something in which there is no cure in modern medicine.