Matt Gorley
Appearances
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Is there any Conan ornaments? Did you ever make an ornament?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
I agree. And also pets often eat it and you find it later. Ew.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Sona, recently you met someone out in the wild, and I think that's about to lead us into an interesting journey.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
And the evidence is there because the country seems pretty unified.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
I'm going to take us through some of these. For instance, here's one. This is a short introduction, but there's a ton of tags on this, like nipple licking, not looking for constructive criticism, smut, porn with feelings, blowjobs. Okay. Here it is.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Receiving an autograph and a hug from her giant ginger idol following a live taping of Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend would have been more than enough for Lily. But after he waves goodbye to the crowd, she realized Conan left a lot more than his signature behind. What does that mean?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Yeah, but what does that mean? I think you jizzed on the autograph paper.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
What are you talking about? She's supposed to code his DNA.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
I am meeting these people at their level. Let me remind you of some of these tags.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Recently engaged, Conan enjoys a low-key celebration with fiancée Natasha at a Red Sox game where they get frisky in one of the VIP suites.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
After an aggravating day alongside Detective Terry Seattle, when asked to question another of captivating Keith's former assistants, Conan finds the enchanting Eden has more than a few tricks up her sleeve.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Right. Do you think there's movie material here?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
After getting a taste of the submissive lifestyle while filming Conan Without Borders in Berlin, Conan seeks out dominatrix Miss Andrea to fulfill his fantasies.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Oh, I see. These are lead-ins to the full. You have to kind of click through to get to the whole story.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Here's a good one. Conan attends his 40th high school reunion where he finds out Lolly, a fellow former student turned Brookline history teacher, secretly pined after him in their youth. It's called Not Too Late.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Lolly nodded, eyeliner making her gaze appear smoky yet skittish. Yeah, yeah, that sounds great. Conan's tongue wet his lips. My hotel. Wet lips. I'm done. Wet lips.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Conan Rose. It's... Wait, say it again. Mouth stalling at her clavicle.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Like, I think you're working your mouth. You're working your way... Oh, I should read the line before here. Okay, here we go. Unsure... I'm always unsure in these situations.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Unsure precisely when Conan sprang her breasts free, mouth stalling at her clavicle, Conan rose, eyes an ocean churning with uncertainty and craving.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Excuse me, ma'am. How rough do you like it? No blinking. Exhalations audible. Lolly studied him in silence. Features set. I want to eat. Oh, I can't.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Yeah, you keep saying it. Matt literally cannot stop. Matt, you're getting turned on. Don't shut up. He's getting turned on. I'm going to stab you. I didn't know you had a fork to dig.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
I'm just saying this gets highly explicit. It's a fork and a spoon.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
You've got it. I'm not starting me. I'm not going to read this.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
I'm not going to read it out loud. I want to know what's going on. Just put it down. Man, hey. Step away from the phone. You are in command of your faculties.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
It's a real page turner. Oh, God. Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
I will say for anyone listening who thinks that Conan is joking, I remember teaching you how to right click back at late night. You were like, oh, that button does something else.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
You also make me you also used to make me say permission to come aboard before I could go into your office. Even though your desk was literally like a foot and a half from the door and I could put something on it. I had to say permission to come aboard. And you would say, hey, permission denied.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
This is, yeah, what we call in the podcast. industry, a double wrap.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Jesse Eisenberg Returns
I think I'm afraid to admit it to you. I'm afraid of what you will tear into.