Martin Short
Appearances
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
And so he had the title, he had everything, and then he put it on the back shelf for a few years. And then had a meeting with Dan Fogelman. Dan said, any ideas you have? And he said, well, I have this one idea. And it was suddenly into production. How it got to be Selena, I don't actually know. I know that Steve phoned me and said... Would you like to do it? And I thought it sounded great.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
You know, if he had said, do you want to do the Chrysler Industrial, mainly for, we're bringing the duster, we're bringing that car back, I'd say, sure. And you say, you say that there's a check. Is that what you're inferring, Steve? No, anyway, so I was excited to say yes. And then, then brilliantly, they went to Selena.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
You know, if they'd gone with someone, another older person, it would be Murder, She Wrote.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
She has that taste. You know, I'm sure. I mean, I've told this before, but certainly the first day of shooting, it was, we were in the height of COVID.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
And so I had never met her. We had Zoomed in read-throughs and stuff. And I'm driving to work thinking... Well, she could be a nightmare. Yeah. I mean, she's a pop princess since she was 14. What if she's late? Forget it. Steve will quit because that's his Achilles heel. Well, what if she doesn't know her lines or what if she's mean to people?
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
And all those things go through, and literally I met her in the makeup room, and she smiled, and I thought, okay, she's just adorable. And she has never been a second late. She is such a pro. It's a joke. And then all these endless guest stars we've had year after year have all been, again, impeccable. So far. Maybe they're afraid of Steve, I think.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
No, I like Steve is like the Pope. You know, I mean, some of these famous comic types, they like me. It's fine. But when Dave Letterman or Howard Stern is around Steve or Jerry Seinfeld, it's like, oh, hi, Steve.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
So you're saying... It's like a line in the movie Jiminy Glick and Lala Wood, hold for applause. Best character ever. We improvised it a great deal. And Jan Hooks, Elizabeth Perkins was complaining that her husband needed sex three times a day. And she said, oh, honey, I'll tell you, you got to get a blow up thing. Because listen, I've had four kids. Fucking me is like fucking a purse.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
And you saw Elizabeth Perkins shake her hand because she was supposed to be drinking, bring it up to her mouth so she doesn't spoil the take. And I said, Dixie, remember when we discussed the word mystique?
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
And moving. We did a special together in 95 where she played everyone, everyone from David Letterman's mother. She played Brett Butler that was so, so vicious.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
bonded with her by the end of the weekend i don't know if she felt the same way about me but she was just no she didn't she didn't i asked her damn it i said yeah who did you bond with who didn't you bond with and she well she opens up with the word surprise surprise so it shocked me she didn't like you she didn't oh i could feel i could feel it I'll tell you what she said.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Oh, my God. She said, like, Steve Martin or Tina. They make you work for it. You know who I wanted to meet is Tina Fey.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
If you're talking about someone who's had, I said suture, who's had 15 facelifts.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Why? Marty. Okay. Here's what's not good. Going bald is tough.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
I say of Paul that I've known him since 72, and even in 72, he looked like a maitre d' in a spaceship.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Was there anything funny? And I said to Will after, I said, okay, did that take you two months or three months? He said, we learned it today.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Oh, my God. That I love so much. And also... Neither character, or forget actor, but neither character they were playing was trying to be funny.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
They weren't trying to, they weren't saying laugh at it. They were just being sincere in who they were. And it was, oh, my God, was that a triumph. I thought Bill Murray killed.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
There is no one funnier than Fred. I agree. This is what Fred said to me at the end of it. Fred Armisen for everybody listening. This is what, first of all, this is visual, but his dressing room is beside me. So... I would pass his room and he'd be on his phone. I'd say, hey, Fred, and he'd go... I'd say, Fred, you're not really asleep. Oh, hi, how long have you been here?
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Fred, I just saw you on the... And the other thing he did, which he completely convinced me was true, was when I left the stage after the good nights, he said, why did you call Paul McCartney Tony McCartney? LAUGHTER I said, what? Yeah. I mean, you said, oh, Tony McCartney. And because I didn't know Paul was standing beside me, I thought, did I? Such a funny joke.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Then I told Bill Hader this, and Bill told Fred, and Fred sent me a text like a couple days ago. Sorry, I thought you knew that was a joke. I literally thought I said Tony McCartney. That would have been great. Tony McCartney. Tony McCartney. I wish I said it, of course. Not knowing Paul's name.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Well, okay. Thank you. But I find that I find what I do with like Fred is if it's at a party, I'll say, did you hear what Fred said?
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Some people can't hide it. You know, I used to think that even if I was at work and I was feeling low about something, I would do an impersonation of myself happy.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
And then that would get me happier. Like when I started doing talk shows, I kept thinking, first time I did an important American talk show would be December of 82 Letterman, 1230 show. And I thought, what is the gimmick here? Oh, I got to do an impersonation of myself at a dinner party, really loose and having fun. But I got to get it down to eight minutes.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
I love that you needed me to do it to feel free that you could do it.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
What if you looked over and I had bright red lips? I wore red lipstick.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
No, I was born and raised in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. And then when I was 22, I moved to Toronto, which is 40 miles east of Hamilton.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
And it was about 55 degrees. I know, but this is going to be.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Okay, well, I'm going to say it, and then we'll be criticized. But it's a real girl thing to say.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Okay, but let me say something again. I've got to get in trouble again.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
A girl calls a cold plunge. It's not what a guy calls a cold plunge. I'm doubling. You're right. I mean, you're right. I don't consider 71 a cold plunge.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Like every good podcaster. I'm, you know, decades older than you. I would think that I'd say, I'm going to do a cold plunge. No.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
How about just a cup of coffee? Just a lovely cup of coffee in the morning.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Well, this is what it is. This is what it is. Because you and Tina love each other. Then there's a rehearsal. There's laughs. There's a dinner. There's perhaps a glass of wine afterwards. So it is kind of like as much fun as it can be because you're happy to see everybody.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Well, that's why, you know, you've done corporate dates. Oh, yeah. Now, they can be tricky because they're not showing up for you. They're showing up because, you know, they work for Tide. And so you kind of have to be prepared for, hi, everybody. nothing and not take it personally.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
I mean, but when you, when, when people have paid to see you, it's this great compliment and they're happy to be there.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
I think that if... And Steve is similar to me, and I know that Tina and you are the same. If you felt, or if I felt, that Steve was kind of walking through it that night, then I'd say, you know what? This has been great. We did it, but we can't do it anymore. Because that would... And vice versa, he would, like, be stunned.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
So I think that there are certain things in partnerships that goes without saying, and that commitment to understanding that people not only paid a lot of money, they got a babysitter. There was a dinner, maybe. You know, it's... Yeah.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
But I must admit, especially doing different Broadway shows for the years, I've rarely met... anyone that just will walk through it. I'm always amazed when I go to a Broadway musical and it's, let's say, Wednesday matinee and it's maybe not the greatest musical, you still can't believe the talent on stage.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
The level of the work, like they're working like it was opening night.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
And I don't think their computer knows how to do it differently.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Oh, I used to be able to, there's a big picture of the Godspell cast, and I could go, day by day, day by day. Oh, dear Lord, three things I pray. No, it was the 70s.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
And I remember Stephen Schwartz, it was down, it was really like 500 people. It was like American Idol the whole day. It was the callback day. And friends were at the back cheering on friends. You know, Gilda got up there in bib overalls and with pigtails on either side going and saying, zippity-doo. And I thought, oh, that's the saddest thing I've ever. And they said, you're hired.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
And I thought, oh, maybe you have to rethink because I'm doing my funny valentine. So I don't know. But it was just she was exactly what they were looking for.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
And then we all just got there. But I remember Stephen Schwartz. It was down to about 12 people. And it was between me and another guy.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
No. I want to call him and say his name is Andrew. I never saw him again. But I just remember Stephen Schwartz, who was like 24 at the time himself, went like this. Andrew, you're so, so good. But I think we're going to go with Martin. And I'm still in university. It was like... So Eugene and I, who are friends, went back and there was a pay phone.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
We kept borrowing each other's dimes and phoning people and tell them what happened. And it was a dream. Now you weren't in university anymore. Now you didn't have to study any more exams. You could stay up as late as you want. You could drink beer at the end of the show.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
She was just, you know what, she was just every, you know, I've said this before, every girl wanted to be her best friend.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
And every guy wanted to go out with her. I remember she came up to the first rehearsal and said, hi, Marty, I'm so happy to be here. And she had her finger on her forehead. And I said, okay, good. I knew she was doing it. And then she pulled and she had a big pimple here. She was just so original, the size of her purse, the fullness of her hair. Yeah. And, you know, I fell for her madly.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
I was younger. I was 22 to her 26. Wow. And we would break up and get back. But it was a couple of years.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. In fact, I'll tell you exactly what is very interesting. Gilda had, you know, emotional ups and downs. And I had just gone through a period where my parents had died. Right. And my mother had died. And all she wanted to do was live. And she was the happiest person in the world.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
So to me, one of the issues that Gilda and I had where we'd have fights about was, I think, What do you have to be not happy about? You're talented. You have family money. Everyone loves you. Everyone wants to be your friend. Everyone wants to date you. No one is funnier. You get the biggest laughs of anyone on stage. But I was only 22. I didn't understand.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Look, we're learning a lot of things about gals today. One is they can't handle cold. And the other is mood swings. So, I mean, I'll like make a list of the things I've learned about you.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
I've never understood why. for some reason, because my brother died when I was 12, my mother when I was 17, my father at 20, why I didn't become a victim of that, why I became oddly empowered by it to the point that I could be on stage and put my hair up in a point and say... I think it's funny.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
I mean, and not be... Did they like me? I don't know. Do they... I was never that... And I think because I grew up in a very funny family. I was youngest of five, Irish Catholic. And... If they liked you, then that's all you cared about.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Right. And some people understandably become, you know, victims of these tough situations.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
So Jiminy. Yeah, no, but I mean, we love morons with power. We love, you know.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
People who, I mean, to me, the idea that Jiminy Glick was a guy who had a staff working for him and someone was afraid of screwing up the lunch order. I said tuna. When I say Dijon mustard, it does not mean French's and they're quivering. You know, it's kind of like, can you imagine?
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
The staff, when they leave after delivering Trump his 48th thing of Kentucky Fried Chicken, what they're privately saying. I don't call this hot. Yes, sir.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Dave Foley from Kids in the Hall said, Marty, oh, you finally created a character who's as mean as you really are in life.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Probably. But I think that, you know, my father was sarcastic and Irish and mean. I mean, I remember taping, recording two and a half hours of present opening on Christmas morning. And you hear my father, oh, Michael, what a lovely girl. I wonder what Michael would give you if he had money. You know, it was like, it was just all that stuff.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
So, but there were, the thing that was weird for me doing Jiminy Glick was that because it was improvised, I would say things that even shocked me afterwards. Like I remember interviewing Edie Falco and she was in the middle of an answer and I went, just because I asked you a question does not mean that I need an answer. Thank you.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
And she said afterwards she was really thrilled because being shush was her Achilles heel as a kid.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
So you can see it in the thing she did. And it was also so insane. It was so insane.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
And have no fingerprints on it. Like I said, you know, saying to Mel Brooks, what's your big beef with the Nazis? And he just kind of goes, my big beef? My big beef? I said, you're always knocking the Nazis. Oh, it's time for Mel Brooks to knock the Nazis. And he goes, I don't know, they're rude.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
No, they didn't have a clue. The only thing we ever did once was Steven Spielberg. I said to Steven, okay, at one point I'm going to ask you
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
to describe how you view the role of a director and kind of look off and so what we planned was the only thing in time we ever planned anything like this is that he was talking the camera stayed with me and i slowly got down in the chair and crawled to craft service and took all the candies put three donuts put them in my pocket crawled back Crawled up in the chair and interrupted.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
No, they didn't have a ceremony. But they had, or they did and I didn't show. Probably more like it. You know what I mean? It's probably, it was that.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Yeah, they were doing a whole, you know, bewitched tournament on TCM and I wasn't going to miss that. No, a coin. I have, yes, a stamp. And so does Catherine O'Hara.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Oh, absolutely. Yeah, because it is so absurd, our life. Yes. That these perfect lives will end one day. Yeah. And that tragedy exists. There is a reason that the two masks are comedy and tragedy because they're both preposterous. And I think comedy has... saved my life endlessly, endlessly.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
And being so lucky to be in the family I had, this Irish Catholic youngest of five siblings that are all still so close and all so funny. And all of us do Wordle every day, and everyone is mean to each other and insult each other, and it's perfect.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
I hear someone laughing. My father would never have dinner with us, you know, because he was Irish, and he was a successful guy.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Yes, Crossman Glen County Armagh. Marty, get down here. And so he would come home. We'd be in the nook having dinner, and he'd have the newspaper with his gin and ginger, no ice, because the Irish feel ice is addictive. So he'd sit there, and he'd... Marty, don't shovel the food in like an animal would. Thank you. And then one time he got up and he said, Michael, keep eating.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
I'll make sure the dogs don't get it. It was just... And of course, if you weren't the brunt of it, you found it hilarious.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
People ask Steve and myself this a lot, and I'll ask you. Have you, like, Steve and I insult each other a lot, you know. I mean, in life, it started with me insulting him in life because that's how I grew up. And then we turned it, you know, we insult each other on stage. But people always wonder if I've ever gone too far or hurt his feelings or I didn't mean to. It never has happened.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
And Steve will answer that question by saying, I think it's because we just know we'd never intend to.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Well, you'll fight over the heat, right? Like if it's too cold in the room, you'll say, ooh, that's my blanket. I mean, do you ever do that stuff?
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
But I think, you see, it's so funny you say that because I think of you ladies as... That's where you should stop. Well, no, I just think of... You should just stop.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
So you never say, okay, Missy, that, you don't say that? Mm-mm. Okay, that's my blanket?
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
So sorry. Why should I? So I shouldn't just verbalize what everyone's thinking?
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
I think it's very personal to you. Okay, whatever you think, it's fine.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
You know, it's interesting. Yeah, which one do you like the best? A lot of people would have fake food and it would be boring to look at.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Do you know what's sad about this moment? You actually know a lot about this stuff.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
No, I know that's what's sad. But you know what? Oh, my God. Sometimes when I'm like, I'm dieting, but I'm still hungry for something.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
See, if you were on a blind date with a guy and he brought you back to his apartment and said, you want to see all these things? I've done that.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Some of it's fake and some of it isn't. You'd say, oh, okay.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Why, you. Oh, that is so clever. Thanks. And you know what? Again, some people would have this and not make it interesting. But you describing it is really, really interesting. Okay.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Oh, look, you can do props. Take your word for it. I'm a pirate, you know.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
I know. And you know what? It's so interesting. I realize now as I do it. It's one of the things that have kept me out of the big money. It's prop humor. Yeah, prop humor. But you're making it work. What's that, an egg?
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
But what a gift you have. If this is an indication of what your podcast is going to be.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
I think I wouldn't make a big cake to celebrate the second week, but certainly I bet you finish this week.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
In fact, they just... But I wouldn't bother to decorate the whole place. I mean, you've got this stuff going. I think it's probably... Oh, pancakes.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
I can always turn on Annie Hall and just get lost in it. But I have great friends for a long time, decades and decades friends, who are all famous people in comedy. And everyone is funny. One time I was having lunch with Chris Guest. This was years ago, and I was making this movie, Captain Ron. He said, Martin, what is this film about? And right away I knew he'd hate the film, you know.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
I watch, you know, Morning Joe every morning. I'll turn on CNN. So there are many, many, I love Bill Maher, but there are many, many things that people say you haven't seen. I mean, when I go to the Emmys, I don't know who's a massive star or who's a seat filler. Because there's so much I haven't seen. There's still that last St. Elsewhere I haven't seen.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Elsewhere. As Jiminy Glick said to Bill Hader, I'm so mad they canceled Arliss. All right. Well, I love you very much. Thank you so much for doing this. So I get paid not in cash, right?
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
No. Well, the only thing we got was COVID. You know, everyone got it.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
I mean, on the Thursday, Steve and I went down to the Comedy Cellar
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
with simon rich and john mulaney i mean to try out material which is an insane idea because as we were going down there i said to steve when was the last time you went to a club like this you went uh 1966 so when they saw him they went insane yeah well they were suddenly not gonna laugh at his jokes of course everything right but do you guys do your because i i want to talk about your tour that you do because tina and i are basically copying what you're doing
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
No, no, no, no. That's what, you know. Ali Wong, the great stand-ups will do that. And then they burn their material.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Yeah, they're really excited to see you. In Steve's case, they're saying, okay, they're both alive? That's so weird. So, so much for newspaper articles. And so already you have them. Yeah, yeah. You know, there's a famous story, Jack Benny. I think in his last concert in England, he was like 80 or something. And he came out and got a 12-minute standing ovation.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
And then his first line was, I'm not that good. So there's an element of that.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
It's like Elon Musk. You need a positive sense of like a big warm blanket around you before bedtime.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
I do that and then prescriptions. Um, yeah, but it's, yeah, I start with the brutalist. Uh, no. So then, so then someone said, turn around. And I was stunned. I mean, it was like, that's what Selena Gomez said. We always lose.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Steve says in our show, I say, how many Emmys do you have? He says, I want to say five. I want to say five, but I have one.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Um, you know, it has happened to me certainly, but I will tell you in this experience of only murders in the building, this we're starting our fifth season, absolutely never had a consideration for, In fact... That you were going to win? No, not remotely. In fact, I think that some, you know, the publicist sends you things and they were sag predictions. And there were like three other people.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
And there was always like, well, if it isn't Jeremy Allen White, I'll tell you it will be Jason Segel. I mean, it was like...
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
I guess I'm beloved. I guess I'm, you know. I guess the actors. You become this stupid icon.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
I certainly, it would have been thrilling to be there. But I do find that stuff of you have to get up and did you forget a name?
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
And then if you pull out a piece of paper, you're a wimp and you don't have any soul. You know, I saw Timothee Chalamet just speak.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
I'm going to get up there and lower the mic so that I can lean down to it like he did.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Right. The in-between is stressful. And then also leaving out that name. Yeah. Like, oh, I forgot to thank Selena.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
I would feel badly and she would say, it's cool. There's no one cooler than Selena.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
And usually when I see you at parties, you're a little bit removed.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Yeah. It's like looking over the shoulder. Yeah, I just want to see if there's another more famous person there.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
Oh, I know. Oh, I know. And I've talked to people who know, and I won't elaborate on that.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
No, no, no, no. It started off, Steve was at a party at Sandy Gallen. Mm-hmm. I don't know, 13 years ago. And sitting on the couch was Ron Rifkin.
Good Hang with Amy Poehler
Martin Short
And... Someone else. And Sandy said, those three, you should do a show for them. That's all he said. And Steve's driving home and he's obsessed with true crime and watches it all the time and thought, well, gee, that's an interesting idea. Three older people who solve crimes in a building, but they'll only solve a murder in the building because they don't want to travel.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
No, no, I was definitely the cheap amigo. I was the, you know, Carrot Top had said, let me think about it.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Well, no, it was gonna be Steve and Chevy. They were the, I think the original, wasn't it John Candy? I think it was John Belushi.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
I had done a piece on SCTV called the idea that Jackie Rogers Sr. had been killed shooting a special called Old Mother Nature, She Loves Me. And he was attacked by a cougar and killed. And it had been on the show for 11 years. And then they were going to air it. But at the end, I needed someone to pop on and say, I miss my dad. I hope you won't. Thursdays at 7.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
And I'd seen a picture of Mickey Rooney Jr. who looked albino. So I made him albino. Okay, got it.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Old Mother Nature, she loves me. It was killed by a rogue cougar. Yeah, there'd be a scene with me singing to a squirrel, pardon me, miss, but I've never done this with a real live squirrel. But then you saw a cougar lurking, and he attacked me and killed me.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
No, I mean, I think it happens when you're working together. I mean, sometimes, as we all know, you do, you know, you're in Romania with a group of people for three months and you make a film and then you never, ever see them again. But with Steve, I thought, no, I want to keep this going. So we would do Amigo at dinners, and go ahead.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Yeah, we did. But that's not, I think the point of it is- What was it? No, no. We did Prince of Egypt. Father of the Bride 2. Oh yeah, you're right. Yeah, yeah. And the scenes that were cut from Schindler's.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
No, no, no, but Steve, Steve, Father of the Bride was five years after Three Amigos. We continued to be great friends. Yes, that's true.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
No, you know, Steve was a massive movie star, and I was just kind of... there, you know? So he was, while he was doing Roxanne, I was, you know, doing the love boat reunion or something. So it wasn't always equal. And I think it was, as Steve said, it just so happened that we were both cast in Father of the Bride and the Father of the Bride II and then other things.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
But it wasn't until around 2011 that we were asked to interview each other on stage for the closing of the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival in Chicago. And that was successful. And that evolved into our live show.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
No, you know, it seems like way more work than it is. It really is, because we'll do maybe four shows, and then we won't do it again for two weeks.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
And they are fun, and then we, I mean, Steve and I will then, you know, have a glass of wine afterwards and discuss the show, and everyone kind of loves each other, because we have the Steep Canyon Rangers, and we have Jeff Babco, my piano guy, and everyone, and the stage manager, it's all become very close, so it's fun.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Well, you mean different titles. I mean, but we keep changing the material all the time.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
And do you regret it? And what were you thinking? No, I think it wasn't until I joined Second City in Toronto that I... started to develop characters and realized that I could improvise and all that stuff. But up until then, I thought I wanted to be Sinatra. Frank Jr., oddly enough, not the father. And I wanted to... LAUGHTER And I used to, you know, I used to do musicals and I would do plays.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Is that true? Oh, yeah. You know, the hungry lion in Hamilton. No, I grew up in a very funny family. My brother Michael has won many Emmys and awards for writing everything from SCTV to Schitt's Creek. So he was the eldest, and it was a very funny family. My father was funny. So it was kind of natural to be funny, but I never thought of it as something I would do until later on.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
In fact, whenever Steve plays the banjo. I've won Grammys playing the banjo. You've won many Grammys, Steve, haven't you? Playing the banjo, yeah. Whenever Steve plays the banjo, I like to just close my eyes and pretend I'm on hold with Cracker Barrel.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Yeah, I know, you've mentioned, I hear, I listen to Smart List all the time and I always hear, you've said many times, I'm busy. I'm very busy. I'm just not sure at what. Yeah, I'm busy. At what country.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
I mean, I just kind of... It's like... It's work and you've got to prepare. I just don't want to go out and fail and feel it was my fault.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
So if I send in, you know, 15 pages and then I go out with Kimmel or Letterman or Fallon or whoever and they're off or I'm a little off, but if I go out gunning for bear, I feel like whatever happens, I can still toast myself because I did everything I could do.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
You should toast yourself. You know what? I should. I should. I mean, I got the lighting.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
The first talk show I ever did was in 1982 on Letterman. And I kept thinking, what do I do? Like the same thing you're saying, Jason. What do I talk about? What do I think about? And then I realized, oh, I get it.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
It's like being at a dinner party where everyone's had some drinks and you're kind of on and telling stories, but somehow you have to lift that six minutes because you don't have the hour and a half ramp.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
But all the hosts vary. I mean, you know, sometimes you go... Yeah, some of them go right off. But when I would do Letterman, I swear he would hit one quarter of what I'd prepared. Right. One time he said, tell the Tony Randall story. And I said, I was on two months ago and told the Tony Randall story, Dave. He said, I don't care. Tell it again. You know what I mean?
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Steve lives in New York. I rent in New York. But you rent while we're shooting. You don't live in New York. That is correct, sir.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Well, I mean, that's the thing. It's great that it's shot in New York. It feels 100% like a New York show.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Well, I still wasn't sure. I was saying, okay, maybe a female, but what about Kathie Lee Gifford? She's a local hire.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
No, there's going to be one. Oh, really? Lawrence Kasdan, the legendary director, is doing it for Imagine. Really? Wow, great. Have you been shooting it? No, no, no. They're just, again, accumulating stuff. Yeah, well, that's going to take years.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
I go to New York in about two weeks for, you know, we start shooting.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Yeah. A new season, I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll shoot a couple days in L.A. and then the bulk of it in New York. Okay, got it.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
And I would say that it is definitely Steve's philosophy, my philosophy, and it turned out, luckily, Selena's philosophy to make the set as much fun and joyful as it can be. So there are no pricks allowed. And so it's fun to go to work.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
underneath him, and then we cut back to the present time. The funniest joke of that, though, was when I'm being carried by Dragon, his name was, and I say, to the nuts! To the nuts! And he puts me at Jason's crotch. And against his crotch, I'm going, bridge mix! I want bridge mix!
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
There you go. Oh, he uses that a lot. Then I had to give you one note. I just said, you know, it's a comedic kiss. We don't need the tongue.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
And I remember I was on one of the early shows, and you didn't even have a title yet. That's correct. And I suggested the McGuire sisters. You did. Didn't clear. We got so close. We got so close with that.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
No, it's so lovely, Sean. That's why you are so lovely, because you are 100% human being.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Likewise. And he's got great taste. You guys are the best. Thanks, you guys.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Thank you. Brilliant show. Love have heard everyone. Love your show. Thank you. Bye-bye. Love you. Bye, guys. Thank you, guys. Bye.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Yeah. And by the way, four times 52 is like 85. It's 80. It's in the 80s. Okay, okay.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
It's, and I don't mean this negatively. This is going to hurt. No, it's not going to hurt. It's so obvious. Right. Like, we've been reviewed that way so many times that we expect more from our audience.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
No, we've had many different titles. One of my favorite was Two for the Price of Three.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
You know what? Have you ever heard of the word combo? You must admit, I look, you know, I am so angry by the press when they keep saying the word timeless. And I think I have to live up to it on some level.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Well, you know, I didn't get much from that book about Liberace, but I got a few pointers. Yeah.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
You know what? This is going to ring ten times. Because it's like having a little... Well, it's a good location for your audio stuff. You know what? We should have removed it.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
No, no, no. But keep talking. But just remember, it's not 9 o'clock. It's 10.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
And I was still in the ninth grade. Wait, wait, wait. Did you say was? Yeah. Wow.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Yeah. Wow. No, Steve, as you know, is a big, big star. There you go. And, but even then, no, I remember being aware of Steve. I met Steve quickly backstage of the new show, and he was hosting it. Lauren's show, 84...
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
January 84 it started it was just one season and the new show was kind of the idea of SNL in prime time and Lorne was the host and Catherine O'Hara was on too wait a second Lorne Michaels was the host on camera no no no he was executive producer yes Yeah, Steve was the host.
SmartLess
"Steve Martin & Martin Short"
Gotcha. And so Catherine O'Hara was also on the show, and we were friends with Catherine, so Nancy and I went and visited Catherine, and Steve came into his dressing room during quick change and was very friendly in that kind of icy way that is so Steve. Icy.