Mallory Ervin
Appearances
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And so it was like orange and white stripes and it was two inches long and it was, then she had to cut it. And I got back in the white van and they drove me back to the treatment center and I walked straight into my counselor. And I said, I know you guys think you know what you're doing with me and with my case.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I know you guys know, think you know what you're doing with me, but you don't because now I feel worthless. I've never felt the way that I've felt about myself. Now I want to go out on the streets and do the hard drugs. I don't even want to like live anymore because I felt so terrible about myself. And I was like, I want to go home.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I almost left treatment that day because it was such a, I'd never felt so worthless in my life. taking out my hair extensions.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
It was the first part of my shell that they were cracking. And I didn't even realize, Jamie, that I was so attached to my parents. Cause I'd never been like attached to my parents growing up. I was never like the prettiest one in the room. I was always, I always had a talent and that's always kind of what I stood on. And
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
pageants and like things around my looks was never even anything that was in my future. I really wanted to be a representative for my state. And I knew talent was 35% of the score at Miss America. I mean, I'm five feet tall. Like I didn't ever think I was going to do a pageant.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
But I think that something changed in me that year when they started talking about, because it's essentially like, you know, what our parents called them is beauty queens. You know, we were beauty queens. And I think that I had started to really become attached to to my appearance and to the person that I was. And that was the first real tick away at that.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
That is a powerful part of my story because I think that people count themselves out of their dreams because of things that they went through in their past. I want you to remember that this is the face of addiction.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And it was like such, when I tell you, like my whole body felt something. And I was so, I never felt that worthless. And I think I share this story because, and I was afraid to open my book with this because I was like, I don't want women reading this and be like, oh really? I can't connect with you. Like you had that moment over your hair extensions. Like I've gone through actual trauma.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
That was actually like that big of a low point for me. And I think that so many women,
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
to attach our self-worth to our appearance and as we start to age and as we can't really control what we look like and we start looking we we start looking different and I think people don't know what's happening to them and I didn't know that I was becoming that attached to that until they took that away from me and that was the first thing that they did for me uh
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I say for me now, but like back then, I thought it was the worst thing that they did to me back in treatment. But it was truly the thing that like it revealed to me something that was really crippling me. And we started to work through it. And then it was about a month later. And, you know, okay, I've gotten used to the hair extensions being out. Now I'm not as attached to my appearance.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
But I was still singing at this little chapel that we had where everybody's families would kind of come. And it was just this moment where I could set myself apart from people because I still was able to show my talent. Mm-hmm. And be like, okay, yes, here I am in rehab. And here I am looking like this, different than I've ever looked before. And I also gained 30 pounds in treatment.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
So I felt overweight and like all of these things. And I'd kind of become okay with that. And they said to me again, they said, you're going to take a break from singing and chapel. And that was really another shift for me because then I had nothing. Mm-hmm. I felt so average and like everyone else and like I looked different and I was different.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
That this is my office and I've got six amazing girls that work for me and my businesses do millions of dollars in revenue and this is my husband and these are my kids and this is what my home looks like. But I also want you to look at my face and remember that this is the face of addiction.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I was like, now you're going to tell me I can't talk about being anything that I'd done, Miss Kentucky or Miss America or The Amazing Race. You know what's funny, too, is my third season of Amazing Race was airing while I was in treatment.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And they let us watch TV on Sunday nights and they would turn on TV and like there I was and they would like turn it off or they would turn the channel because they like they didn't want me to talk about. They wouldn't let me cling to that old self because they were doing so much work of stripping that away and showing me what was underneath it and making me okay with what was underneath it.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Because I had the self-confidence. I believed that I was enough. Even going through what I was going through in treatment when I could still say to people, but I did this and listen to me sing. And, you know, it was the last little shred of my old self and my shiny shield that I was holding out to other people.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And they really knew what they were doing with me because that's when I really did the real work because I had nothing left. And I just felt... what I think a lot of women feel their whole lives for the first time. I felt that. And I didn't want to live like that. And they taught me in three months of work that I did.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I loved the person underneath that without all of those things more than I loved the person that I went into treatment as. With all of those accolades and achievements and achieving all of those dreams. Um, I walked out of there, you know, 35 pounds heavier with two inch long hair, not talking about any of the stuff that I'd done, not singing in the chapel, not, and I loved that.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
That was the closest to the person that I want to be than I've ever been in my life was take was without all of those things.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Yes, it is. And you know what was really hard about it and why I think I... I lived that way for so long. It's really hard when the thing that you're attached to is seen as a positive thing.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
A talent. Or being Miss Kentucky and representing my state.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And you know, I can even remember, Jamie, like when I, even after, when you're Miss Kentucky, you walk into the room and you got a crown and banner on. You don't even have to like, that's the worst thing for a perfectionist because it's like, oh, you don't know who I am. Here you go, right here on the banner. Like, look, here I am, the queen. I used to introduce myself to people.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And this is the first clue to feeling probably unworthy. I needed them to know in the first minute and a half that I had done Miss America and The Amazing Race. And I needed them to know those things because I felt like that was the reason that they would want to continue the conversation for me. I didn't feel like enough, you know, just being me and showing up.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I just had to have them know those types of things, especially as I got further and further from those things that I saw as big, shiny dreams. as I stopped achieving bigger things, I just started to feel worse and worse about myself. And I was so disappointed in myself. And I felt like so many people were disappointed in me for not doing bigger and bigger and bigger things.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
So when I would be just talking to you, if you and I were in a room, I would need to tell you all of those things about myself because of the lie that the world tells us. But I really believed that lie.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
It is so impossibly hard. Yeah. A baby step to worthiness. I love that. I did this program in Nashville called Onsite. It's like a little, you know, three-day program. It's just like this cool transformative, like very like...
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
cool thing where it's called uh what's it called uh living centered living centered I was like centering something yes and that's a big thing there they were like don't you can't say what you do yes and it was really really hard and I'd already been through all of this stuff like and I already kind of felt good in my skin even without people and it was still really hard it was hard to not to ask other people what they did and I'm like why do we qualify I
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Oh, yes.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
It feels weird.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And then... Yeah, it's where our brain goes automatically.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I wish that it didn't, but it just does. It is our nature to go back to that, to go back to that, to go back. Because it's... It tells you a lot about a person, but it's like, why can we not just learn the person from talking to them?
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
They knew what they, they really knew what they were doing with my case. Yeah. Because the perfectionism almost killed me more than the addiction.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
A 0% chance. Number one, I wouldn't be alive today. That's how low of a point I was at and how bad it was for me. I would not, I do not think I would have lived another eight weeks. I really don't. So like, I think it really saved my life. Really? How did you not enter treatment? A hundred percent. You don't think you would have lived another eight weeks?
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I was that, I was that close to, like my body was shutting down and I, it, it saved my life, which it, You know, recovery saves people's life first, but then it changes people's lives and then it gives them a whole new life. You know, if you had asked me before 2014, when I walked into that treatment center, you know, what's the best thing that ever happened to you in my life, in your life?
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I would talk to you about being on the Miss America stage. And I'll talk to you about like the moment that I was crowned Miss Kentucky. I wanted to win so bad. And the moment they put that crown on my head, it changed my whole life. That was my moment. That was my like taking your makeup off on QVC finally moment. That was my, when they placed that crown on my head, changed my whole life.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I said on my last day of treatment, you stand up and you say something. That was the best thing that ever happened to me. That was the best thing that ever happened to me in my life was going to a treatment center. That was the best thing that ever happened to me.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I always thought it would be a part of my story that I was embarrassed about and that I wouldn't share and that I would just like let stay in the shadows. I would be thankful for it because it saved my life. But like I would just, I wouldn't really talk about it.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
You know, I would just keep moving forward in this great life that I have, really grateful that I'd been blessed enough to have my life saved. But it was the best thing that ever happened to me. And I thought it would be the worst thing that ever happened to me. And it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And whenever people come to Instagram or YouTube or a podcast and they see me or the Jamie Karen Lima Worthy event in my feather blazer. And when they see me showing up joy filled and happy with three kids and you see my peony garden in the backyard and you see the sweatshirts and the pajamas. I want them to remember that I spent six months in a treatment center.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Because I think that when we think of people that have, that have stories that have a dark part or like, well, you know, she was addicted to drugs at one point in time. I think that we just, it just, it's a kink in the armor. And,
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I want you to remember that this is the face of addiction, that this is my office, and I've got six amazing girls that work for me, and my businesses do millions of dollars in revenue, and this is my husband, and these are my kids, and this is what my home looks like. But I also want you to look at my face and remember that this is the face of addiction.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
It's not someone that's on the streets with needles laying there that's a homeless person. It's not somebody that's strung out that you're saying, oh, poor, pitiful them. It's me. It's me too, sitting by this beautiful peony arrangement with my face on a book.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
That is a powerful part of my story because I think that people count themselves out of their dreams because of things like they went through in their past. And I want you to not be embarrassed about the things that you went through, especially those things that are dark and a little seedy and feel a little sketchy to you and that you don't want to say at the PTA meeting.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I want to keep reminding people that that's part of my story because I still feel worthy of the things that I have today, even though like. I went to rehab after I wore the Miss Kentucky crown.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And no one else in their life does. I was that person. I was very isolated and oftentimes at the end of addiction. And your addiction piece can be something different. It can be a mental health challenge. Like maybe you're dealing with like severe depression or maybe you are in a relationship that's really bad that you know you need to be out of.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Maybe you're in like a dead end career and you just feel like hopeless about your life and sad. If you, A, if you're at that point in your life, I want to say, this is going to be a really weird thing for me to say, especially to that person in this state, but I want to say it because I believe it. Get excited because rock bottom is the best place to build the most incredible life.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And if you can walk out of this and if you can get through this thing, you will have one million times better of a life than you did before you went through this thing. These things, these terrible, terrible things that happen to us in our lives, usher us into the greatest life than you can ever imagine.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I think, Jamie, you cannot access the incredible life that like, I feel like I'm leading right now, this incredible life. I couldn't have accessed that had I not gone through that. So if you're a person that nobody knows what you're going through, right now and you're sitting there and you're thinking, I feel totally hopeless. I hate my life. Maybe you're like I was.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I'm not going to live another six weeks. I will physically die. If you can have the strength and the courage to make it through this and walk through this, you can access the most incredible life. You cannot imagine the life that you can access. But you oftentimes have to be the person.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I was very lucky to have my parents and people on the outside see that there was something wrong and they stepped in. But sometimes, Jamie, people don't have that person. And sometimes people have to be the person that chooses to walk into this fire. And it is the most daunting thing ever to think about walking into a treatment center or approaching a person about help.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Because there is a hard part that you have to walk through to access that beautiful life on the other side. But my Lord, if I can just scream one thing from the rooftops till the end of my life, it would be, in a way like you are the lucky one, because if you, if you have that sort of low, you can have this sort of life on the other side.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And it's only accessible through going through the blazing fire that is walking through addiction or walking through leaving an abusive relationship or walking through a really scary career change or a complete reinvention. Um, what you get on the other side is so amazing. So I would say to that person, like, remember what's on the other side.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Don't just think about the pain and the hard stuff and the embarrassment and all that stuff. Cause that's, that's all going to be in the middle, but I want you to think of the other side. Cause it's, it is so awesome. It is so awesome. And it is the reality.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
If you walk into any AA meeting, if you talk to anybody, like look at all the people that we look up to and that you've already had on the Jamie Kern Lima show. Look, the Oprahs and the Ed Milets and the Robin Roberts, every single one of them has a story of walking through the fire.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Yes. Oh, I'm so glad that you said that. Yes, that is a fact. That is a fact that we talk about that people love you the most for your authentic self and all of these things over and over. But I want to tell you the story of how I told my family, essentially, and what I was met with. So, okay, we grew up on this farm.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
So my grandparents are in the middle, and we're all surrounding them on this big, beautiful piece of property. My whole life, I was an example to these people.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Yes. They were proud of me. And I was a good example in every single category, Jamie. You want to talk about academics? I was valedictorian in my class. You want to talk about like, you know, singing? I was on every single stage in our hometown and then like national. They were just so proud. They were just so proud of me.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
You're a role model for our kids. Yes. They said the night of Miss America, you could walk out on your back porch. It's a farming community and that it's a live show, you know, and obviously you see the contestant going from the next level to the next level. They said that you could hear from across the cornfields.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
You could hear people screaming and cheering and like that my whole town supported me, not just my family. But my family, I have an incredible, amazing family that has always been very legacy focused. Why are you here and what are we doing in the world? And we can change the world.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And like, you know, we did this thing where we would come together once a year, we would come together quarterly and like have meetings and stuff, but once a year and we would come. And even though we lived on the same farm, we would go on this like trip together and we would all go to this place. And
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
we would stay and we would play the same slide show of my grandparents, like our family story and our legacy, what we stand for and how many times my grandpa's like entrepreneurial endeavors failed. And like, we all knew this story, but we would retell it and we would come together and we would talk about like who we wanted to be in the world. And, what we were doing in our lives.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And, you know, we were kids. We were, I was the oldest and they started this when I was in college. But some of my cousins were five years old and they're talking about legacy and like, how do you want to show up in the world? And like, that's what kind of family I came from. And, and yeah, we'd heard the stories about my grandpa's failures in the entrepreneurial business, but he always succeeded.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And like, he always made it through and he never had to declare bankruptcy. And it was always like, here's our pain point in our family, but like, here we are overcoming. So when I went to treatment, I was very isolated from my family when things were getting really bad. So I don't think people knew how bad it was getting for me. And so I went to this program.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I was about four months into the program or five months into the program when our annual family legacy thing was, trip was. And it was this little like these sets of cabins called Evans Mill. It's in Tennessee. And we would all come together in this great room. And we had different segments where we were talking about different things.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And they had decided that what I was going to do and my counselors and everything at treatment were like, this is going to be really good for you. You should stand up and you should talk about what you're going through to your family. And like my family knew that I was in a program. But I had literally never shared a failure or failure.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I don't think anyone in our family had ever shared a failure while they were in it where it wasn't like the, and this is what happened from it, and this is on the other side. So I had to stand in front of my family and all my cousins, all my aunts and uncles, our advisors, and like all the people that I loved, that loved me, and had to tell them
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
what I was going through and what I was learning in treatment about myself and how I'd gotten there. And I was so nervous to, to stand up there. And it was the first time I'd ever shared any story of failure in front of the people that like, I love so much. And I was so afraid that I,
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Not that they would be disappointed in me because I knew the kind of family that I was from and I knew that they would support me in whatever I had to go through because we loved each other deeply. But I did feel like, you know, they wouldn't see me as the same, that it would kind of like erase all the things that I'd done in my past and that they'd see me like a little bit different.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
So I stood up there and I shared everything and nobody really said anything. And at the end of it, they all, they clapped for me and they were all clapping and, and saying like, we're so proud of you. And I remember my uncle being like, wow, we're so proud of you. They're all wrestling coaches. And they were, it was like, they were cheering me on, you know, we're so proud of you.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And how can we support you as a family? And, um, what can we do better to make it easier on you and, um, They loved me, and I was on an even higher pedestal to them.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And it was one of those moments that I'll never forget. You always hope that the people around you will accept you for who you are and the things that you go through in life. But so often, Jamie, people love you 10 times more for those things, those failures and those dark things and those— oh, the things that are just so tough to bring to the surface, they loved me even more for it.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And there have been so many times in my family that we've dealt with hard things since I went through that over 10 years ago. And they come straight to me. And they're like, hey, Mal, this is going on. And now I'm the person that can help other people. And I don't know why it's human nature to believe that those things will make people... see us in a worse light, in a different light, certainly.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And it still is a different light. Because so many times it's proven over and over that people love you so much more for showing up as you are with all of those things in tow, on display. And I'm so happy that what happened to me happened to me because I don't know that I ever would have learned that lesson.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
because it's a lesson that I had to be pushed into. I really admire people who can just own it and show up and be like, I'm going to take this chance and show my real colors because I had to be pushed into it because I was really in deep with needing to remain the person that I thought I needed to be for everyone else.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I'm really glad that I hit that rock bottom and I was forced to, through this recovery program, Figure out this truth because it is truth.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Oh yeah. A hundred percent. I struggle still probably today with workaholism. And I think that Like we just said in the beginning of this podcast, it's so hard because the brands that I'm building are, it's a motivational, true, like helping women brand. Or it's these amazing sweatshirts or it's these pajamas that like I'm so proud of. And it's all like really good stuff. Yeah.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I think that I can get addicted to that just like I was addicted to drugs and alcohol. Just like before that, I was addicted to achievement.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Just like before that, I was addicted to being a role model and example to my cousins. I certainly think that cross addictions are a real thing. And I think that at the root of all that, it is just accepting ourselves for who we are and where we are. And I think as a person that has an addictive personality too, I'm always looking for that hit somewhere.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And sometimes when I achieve something in my work or something really works out, It can feel the same in my brain. So I think that I know that going through what I went through in recovery, I learned a lot. So I notice now when those things are happening when I was unaware before and I can do something about it. But I also think that life is a constant process.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
we need to be like looking at our lives at all times and being like, what are the things that I need to change? Because it's not just like, okay. I went to treatment and now I'm good for the rest of my life. Or I worked out one time and now I'm fit. You know, it is a constant, um, that's what living fully, I think is, it is constantly choosing to, no, I want to live. I don't want to live here.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I want to live here. You know, no, I don't want to do, I can do this better. I can be a better parent or be a better person in my business. I can be a better boss. I can be a healthier person. I can do that thing less. Um, it's, it's a constant re-awareness and yes, cross addictions are real things.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I was actually in treatment with a lady who had been sober for like 20 or 30 years and she was there for a shopping addiction, you know, and she was sober from drugs and alcohol still. And she, and it was a really fascinating thing to see.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I really appreciated her sharing her story because it, it made me aware that like, you know, when you let go of one thing, it's like you want to grab onto something else. And, uh, Yeah, I think it's a natural tendency of the human being. For sure. What role does faith play in your life? Oh, gosh. Faith has played... Faith has been...
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
at the top of my pyramid in the very worst times in my life and in the very best times in my life. When I was at the very end of the road with, right before I went to treatment, I used to run, I lived on Music Row in Nashville, Tennessee. And the church that I went to was two miles from where I used to live. And I used to say the rosary and I would run, say the rosary all the way to this church.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I would go into this church and there was nobody in this church. And I was really, really struggling. And I couldn't really pinpoint what it was. I didn't see it as like, this is addiction, but I felt so hopeless and so far from the person that I knew I wanted to be.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I was really disappointed in myself and what I'd become after how I'd been raised and all these things that I achieved in my life. I was just really disappointed in what I had become because I just couldn't achieve anymore. I couldn't keep a job. And I felt like my family was starting to pull away from me because I was becoming unpleasant to be around. I was just a shell of a person.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I used to go into this church and I would light candles and I would kneel down in front of like the altar. And I would like, I can remember like it would be in the summer because I went to treatment in the spring and I would like press my arms down on the floor and it was like this marble floor and it was like so cold. And I would just be, I would just say like, I'm sorry.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
You gave me so much and I'm sorry. I don't know how I got to this point. And will you take it away from me? Will you take it away from me? Like the need to take this prescription medicine, will you just help me like be the person that I was?
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I always thought that like how God would answer that prayer for me would be, I would wake up in the morning and I wouldn't want to take these pills anymore that I knew were like destroying my life. And what I realize now is his answer to my prayer was going to that treatment center. But I mean, faith was so big for me even then. And faith was a
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
It was different because I saw God as I knew he was loving and I knew he was going to be the person that was going to help me make the difference. But I also felt like he had to be disappointed in me, too, because I knew all the gifts that I'd been given, my singing voice and my family. I knew those were things that he had given me. You know, those were blessings that I was given.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I really believed what they said, you know, that to whom much is given, much is required. And I knew that I'd done great things in my life, but I also knew that this was not the way that like, this was not where I was meant to be. Squandering all the gifts that I'd been given, like living my life like this, like isolating myself from my family.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I was so far from the person that I knew I wanted to be. And then I knew that I felt like God wanted me to be. But what I know now, I don't. I don't feel like he was ever disappointed in me.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I feel like that was part of my journey because where I'm at now and like the book and the podcast and the way that people see me and the face of addiction looking a lot different to a lot of people that watch me on the internet, I know that was all part of the plan.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And God ushered me into that part of my story, just like he placed a crown on my head, just like he had me born in Morganville, Kentucky and living on that little farm, being an example to my family. siblings and cousins working at Bud's Country Corner and being this little country kid. It was all part of my story. And so faith was, I clung to faith then.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Faith saved my life, but faith like orchestrated me into this part of my journey too. And it allowed me to be a story in the back of people's minds when they're going through addiction or when they're struggling with something or where they're standing in front of a goal and they're like, there's absolutely no way someone like me could achieve that because this has happened to me.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
they can look at me and remember my story and be like, oh my gosh, you know that blonde girl that lives in Nashville, Tennessee on the internet? I think she went to rehab for six months after she did Miss America. My faith was everything. My faith saved my life. He answered my prayers. And then now my faith is... You know what I say every single day? I'm so thankful for my life.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Yes. I love that you started with that because of all of the things that happened to me in my life, overcoming that is really one of the biggest obstacles that I had to overcome to get to where I am today. Because perfectionism is like, you know, it's like a drug. I was addicted to it. And you said it in my intro, you know, born the oldest of all these cousins, the oldest of all of my siblings.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I say it to my husband like every day that we wake up in this beautiful home and I look outside and I see this peony garden that I planted and I see this swimming pool and I see these three kids running around the backyard and riding motorcycles. I just, I feel, not because I have to be like, here's a gratitude journal and I wanna do gratitude so I can feel abundant.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I feel overwhelming, overflowing gratitude every single day for my life. I do every single day and I say to my husband, I can't, can you believe it? that we got here because we also overcame so many things in our relationship. We broke up so many times. He dated me in active addiction. Like the week that we broke up was the week that things crashed and burned for me.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And then I ended up going to treatment. You know, he saw me at the lowest of the, like, can you believe it? What the Lord has given us. And we've been through different sorts of challenges where we've had to cling to our faith. We've had now five pregnancy losses and, We've been through challenges in our relationship before we got married. And we struggled financially when we first got married.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And, you know, there were just so many things that we had to just really trust the Lord. And like faith has played so many different roles for me, but I say thank you a lot. Now I just say thank you and I can't believe it. And I say a lot because I've been given a lot now and I know that I have a lot. And I pray the prayer that with all of this, that you, this abundance that you have given me,
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
do with it what you want me to do with it. Cause I know you gave it to me for a reason. I mean, I look at how much you give and do and are to other people and just how much like you give away. And I, I, that's the next piece of it. I pray a lot. I want, I want my faith to guide me because he's given me so much and I want my faith to guide me into like Why did you give me this?
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
What is it that you'll have me do with this? That's what my faith is for me now. Do you ever doubt that God exists? Not one single time in my whole life have I doubted. No. I always knew. Even when I was, I don't want to say frustrated or mad, but I can still remember sometimes when hard things would happen. I remember my first pregnancy loss.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
or like when my sister lost a baby, it was like her miracle baby and she lost a baby, he was five weeks old. There have been times where like, I was at the Vanderbilt Children's Hospital when my sister, It was during COVID that she lost her son. And we knew he had a heart defect and he would have to have a couple surgeries after he was born.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
The perfectionism almost killed me more than the addiction. It crippled me and it became something that I almost lost my life to. And I ended up in a treatment center for six months of my life. These were prescription medications that were being prescribed to me that I had become dependent on and was taking them in a way that was not prescribed.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And there are times in my life where, you know, we never got to visit him in the hospital because it was right when COVID started. It was March of 2020. And they would not let us come and be there with them, going through this terrible, terrible thing, their child being on life support. And is he going to make it? Is he not? Yeah.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
So we only got to go on the day that we knew they were going to disconnect those machines and he was not going to. We were meeting him. We knew the day that we met him that that was the day we were saying hello and goodbye all at the same time. And there are moments like that. I can remember being in that bathroom at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I was destined, I think, to be a perfectionist because I thought, I'm here. I'm the example. I'm the oldest. I had this amazing family that I wanted to set a good example for and be all that I could be. I was born, I was a singer and I had this talent as a young girl and I was on stages immediately as a six-year-old. And I was really primed to be a perfectionist.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I went on to my knees and I was like, why in the world would you take a baby? Because it was just, you know, you don't understand why things that hard to have to happen to people that good. And there are times in my life where I ask him questions like that and like, dang it, like, why in the world would you do this, God? It doesn't make any sense. What's happening right now?
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I don't see the good in this. And I know you're good. And now it's been four years since that happened. And I can see the reason for that, even though it was really terrible and really hard, but I never doubted that he existed. And Jamie, I feel lucky for that because I feel like ever since I was a child,
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I'm from a very faith-filled family, but I always felt the presence of God so strongly and saw so many signs that He existed and just felt that, that I feel like that was a gift that He gave me that I never doubted that He existed. Mm-hmm. I never doubted that he existed. And I would be around people that really questioned their faith.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I would feel so lucky that I'd always felt that so strongly. And it wasn't like a blind faith. I see some people have a blind faith, just like, this is what I'm told. And this is what I read. And this is what, but I felt it in my bones. Like you knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I felt it. I would always ask for signs and stuff ever since I was a little girl.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I would have some of the most insane experiences where I just, I knew he existed. And I knew that even in really hard times, like when I almost lost my life to addiction, when I watched my sister lose a baby, when I went through pregnancy losses, when I went through really hard things in my relationship. And in my career, I always knew He existed.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And then once I started going through hard things, And seeing what would happen on the other side and how much greater things would be on the other side and realizing that I had to go through that thing.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Then when I was in the middle of these hard things that were happening to me, I could say something that I couldn't say in the beginning, which was sometimes through gritted teeth, but thank you, God, for what I'm about to go through because I know it's about to change my life. And I said that, you know, we just lost a pregnancy.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
pretty far along, and I had to have a D&C, and it was terrible, and we'd seen the heart beating, and the baby was fine, and all these things, and it was really hard. And even on the day where we showed up at that sonogram, and there was no more heart beating, I knew, gosh, I'm gonna have to walk this road again.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I still, I had faith in God, and I remembered the other side of all of those losses that You know, I lost four babies before I had my daughter. And when I look at my daughter, I would go through every one of those pregnancy losses once a year, every single year to get that child. I would. And I think that loss and hard things that happen in our lives
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
especially if we can see what happens on the other side. It's so much easier in a way. Losses are always hard and it's still hard to go through terrible things, but you can know that like, God is bringing me something greater on the other side. He has every single time. He has.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Yep. Undeniable faith. And you know what? My sister had that too. And she was the one that was like really in it. And I can still remember like after that happened and they took him off of life support and we came back to their house and like they had to walk out of a hospital without a baby. And she sat on her couch and she looked at me and she said, and I wrote about this in my book too.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And it was like so hard to write that chapter, but I was like, I got to write about this. You know, it's another hard thing that happens that people have happened in their lives. And I want to share this story. And the first thing she said was she looked at me and she hadn't lost her face. She looked at me and she said, do you feel like he's like a grown up angel or a baby angel in heaven.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Like she was still, she, she didn't lose her faith. It was really hard. And she was bawling, crying and she was upset and she was sad, but she did not doubt that the Lord was still up there. And then she saw her baby up there. And I think that people's experiences are different at the end of loss because some people are like screaming at God and some people lose their faith. And, um,
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And, you know, Jamie, it wasn't crippling to me until later in life. You know, I did the Miss Kentucky pageant and Miss America pageant. And I think pageants really multiply perfectionism because you are literally standing on a stage and they are judging the way that you look and speak and walk and sing and are.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I think that different people's journeys are different, and I just hope that they can find their way back to faith. Because I do think that you can be really angry at what's happening, and you can question your faith and come back around to it. I think that people's journeys are different. Maybe you don't feel like I did, and you haven't always felt the presence of God.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Um, but I also feel like, uh, this is something that I heard someone say to me when I was a really little girl and I always prayed for it. I had a priest one time and he said, you need to pray, pray for hunger for God, pray for hunger for God. And I was like, what an interesting prayer.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I started praying that when I was probably 10 years old, like I pray for hunger for God and I, and I pray to feel his presence in my life.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I always did. And I think that maybe some people aren't praying that prayer. And I think that's a really great prayer to pray. Good one to start.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
You know, he had a different faith journey. So I was raised Catholic by a big Catholic family that always, we were in church every Sunday and it was really solid. He was raised, his mom was Baptist and his dad was Catholic and he would alternate churches. And I think he has a really interesting faith perspective because here's what I think. I think it does not matter what religion you are.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I think if you believe in something greater than yourself, like it is all, we are all, I think, trying to get to the same place. It's just all different roads. And so he saw something that I didn't have the opportunity to see, which was two totally different faith walks, because there is a big difference in the way that a Catholic mass is said and the way that a Baptist service is.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And he, whenever we got married, he made the choice to become Catholic because we wanted to raise our kids in the same church. Because I think that there is beauty in that, but I also think that it is nice to streamline that and to go to the same church on Sunday just as part of a community.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
But he always says... And I'd had not just my husband, but people that I had dated before whenever I was younger that always said, your faith has made my faith stronger. And he always says that to me. He's like... The way that I am, and he prays as much or more than I do now. And he prays with our kids as soon as we get in the car on the way to school.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And, you know, I'll be like, gosh, I haven't been praying with him later. I've been forgetting. He's like, I have. We pray on the way to school. Sometimes they pray for their pet turtle that is no longer living that they don't realize. But, you know, goofy little things. But like he, it has lifted his faith.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Yeah.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And we signed up for that, you know, which is it just makes anyone that is a perfectionist, it makes them lean into that 10 times more, I think. But when I really feel like I overcame it was when I went through my crisis point in my life and my low. And it's something that I shared in my book that took me a really long time to share because I was a perfectionist.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Yeah. They're definitely still around. Yeah. I think especially to men. And you know what I think? I think God perfectly designed my husband for me because Kyle had a big valet company that he started and owned when we first started dating. He had 80 employees and he had a big business that he had built. And when he started to see my success...
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
He, his business, he backed out, backed out, backed out, backed out of his business, started editing my YouTube videos. And he truly, slowly over time, he completely gave up his career to be a background role in mine and then to raise our children. so that we could still be very hands-on in raising our children. He is still the one that takes our kids to school every day.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
He still watches our children, picks our children up, packs their lunches. It's not like I'm working 8 to 9 p.m. I'm still around a lot. And they have both of their parents present in their lives, which is such a blessing. But to be a man and to choose that is a really...
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
rare and amazing thing and i think that makes him even more powerful as a husband and a father and a man and i think it's so cool to think about our kids talking about one day you know in 15 years well my mom worked you know building this whatever it is that they talk about building this pajama brand or selling these holiday sweatshirts that we used to be in the photo shoots and all this stuff and my dad stayed home with us i think that's a really powerful thing for them to see
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
cool journey. And we want to believe that we're past this societal norms, but I agree with you, Jamie. We're not, because I think a lot of men would not do well. A lot of men maybe wouldn't have the opportunity to do what my husband does. Maybe a lot of men would like to stay home with their kids. But, um, I think that, um,
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
It is just such an amazing thing that he gave up everything, just like my mom did, raising us. She never had a career. Raising children was her identity, was her career for 20 years of her life or more. But yeah, my husband gave up everything for... to take a step back and not back. We shouldn't say back. We should say forward and to do the hardest job. And like I do two jobs.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
So I do all of this stuff. And I'm also like a part-time stay-at-home parent. Being a stay-at-home parent is 100 times harder than building a company that's doing $10 million or $100 million in revenue. Mm-hmm. It is harder. It is a harder job. And I'm not just saying that for the pat on the back, for the moms and the dads that do it. It is actually harder.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And you also don't know like, yeah, I see the immediate return on my business. You don't know how these kids are going to turn out for 20 years. So you're like putting in all the work and nobody's saying thank you. You don't even know how it's going to turn out. No one's saying thank you. And ain't nobody paying you. You know?
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
You're getting beat up every day.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Yes. Rarely. But yes. I think that there are times. Where Kyle looks at the reward of what I'm doing and looks at the reward, a little bit of what he's doing. And he's just like, I'll come home from work sometimes. And he's just like, man, it looks so, that's so fun. Like what you were doing. And he's like, every once in a while, he'll say like, I miss working and I miss building something.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And he's like, I know I'll do it again one day, but he misses it. Yeah. And sometimes like days at the end of the day. And I think that like if you're a working parent that's listening to this and you have a stay at home parent, sometimes whenever I come home and when he's like quiet or he feels like removed or he feels like.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Because that part of my story, I kept quiet for so long. And so I'd gone from this, you know, little country girl with big dreams, you know, achieving my dreams, some really big stages and achieving all that I could as a young person, setting this great example for my family.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
he's exhausted and he's like not saying anything to me or maybe he's like short. And he's like, I am just overstimulated and totally exhausted from these three kids. I think that that is a challenge that a lot of people, because we're always like, well, what did I do? Because we're always thinking about ourselves and it's just like, I just want everything to be okay.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
But like learning that and remembering that, that it's just a really hard thing that he's doing whenever he's home with the kids. And remembering when I go home that, He's had a really long, hard, overstimulated day. Like maybe I have a bad day at work, but it's just like so obvious of what it is. Like this happened and that's why I feel this way. I don't think it is with a stay-at-home parent.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
It's just like, I just feel like all the life that was in me this morning was sucked out by all of these children.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I think that that's a challenge and something that I've had to learn and meet. with grace and understanding and understand that sometimes his tank is empty at the end of the day. And maybe he doesn't even know why, but it's because of all those children.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
It's the best situation because you're still being raised by a parent, but like I get to go and build and do and be, and I also get to come home and be a present parent and like choose my own schedule. And you said a while ago, but it is a privilege to be able to stay, to have a parent to stay at home. And that is something we do not take for granted and we don't think is an automatic thing.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
achieving Miss Kentucky, going to Miss America, being a runner up at Miss America, doing the amazing race with my dad three times. And I'd achieved all these dreams as a young 20-something-year-old. And I started to crumble under the weight of that because I just felt like as a perfectionist, I had to be this certain type of person.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And also, like, that's so interesting that most of your friends are that dynamic. But I also think you living in California and in L.A., it's a different world. Yeah, New York also.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Because in Nashville, Tennessee, it is certainly the other way around, I think. I think that, you know, geographically, demographically, it's just different, different places. Yeah. I feel like I'm in the minority and I feel very lucky. But, you know, there are days that like I'll take my kids to the trampoline place because I still am able to work at my own schedule.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I'm so fortunate to do that because I can still play a part time stay at home mom role. And there's sometimes, Jamie, where it is so funny that I feel like this, but I do, that we'll go to the trampoline place. I'm sitting there and I'm watching the mom that I know is a full time stay at home mom that doesn't work.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I watch them like pull the snacks out of the backpack and unzip the things of carrots and pull the juice box out. And I can just tell that that is like her full time role. And that is her. She's so in it. And sometimes I envy that because my sister is also pretty much a full-time stay-at-home parent. And she's like, man, it's so fun what you're doing.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I'm like, yeah, but like you just go to the park every day. Like that's also fun. Sometimes I'm just like, am I doing it wrong? Like I just question it sometimes.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I had to outdo like everything that I had done in my life or else people were going to be disappointed in me. And I was disappointed in myself. And at this point in my life where I started to have dependence on prescription medication. that a doctor had started to prescribe me so that I could kind of keep going at this pace, this furious pace of life, keep achieving and doing and doing more.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Yeah. He was so amazing. So he lived in the center of our property. And I grew up seeing my grandpa every day. He was such a big part of my life. He was so amazing. He lived this beautiful, incredible life. He had the hardest life of anyone that I've ever heard. He watched his dad die in a fire in front of him when he was 12 years old.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
his siblings, almost every single one of them, he watched pass away. Just so many terrible things happened to him. And he was the most joy-filled, incredible, amazing person that built the most beautiful family that I've ever seen in my entire life. So he was my first example of adversity can just make you stronger and better and brighter and more beautiful and
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
He, so my grandpa, like until the very last moment, he was 89 years old. I think 89 years old when he died. And Jamie, when you asked me to do the event, whenever I speak, I usually share my story of recovery and overcoming perfectionism and all this stuff. And I had this really, this just gut feeling that I needed to talk about my grandpa. And it was like four weeks after he had died.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And my whole team was like, are you sure you're ready to talk about this? And I just felt very compelled. And the piece that you're talking about that I talked about at the Worthy event was so powerful. Christmas Eve in our family is just this beautiful, big, amazing thing. And he was not doing well this past Christmas Eve. We knew that he was nearing the end. And it happened really fast.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
He was on oxygen almost all the time. He was still in his home and everything, but Everybody kept saying, you know, maybe we should just come one family at a time to not put too much stress and strain on him. And he was like, absolutely not. We're having the party. Because he was still totally, like, with it, even though he was at the end of his life.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And it was just this really incredible Christmas Eve. And we sang and we danced. And he drank bourbon and chewed on his cigar in his same chair. And he watched his two generations. And you know what? This 23 thing. 23 keeps coming up with you, too. You have 23 chapters in your book. Yeah. He had 23 grandkids and 23 great grandkids when he died in 2023. And we had this incredible Christmas Eve.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And on Christmas Day, we went across the street. And it was the last time I saw him on Christmas Day. And, um, we, you know, we went over there and he was just talking about everything. He was asking me about my pajama margins and he was asking me the size of my warehouse. And he was telling me all these ideas that he had about these things that I should do with my pajama company.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Cause he was just the ultimate entrepreneur. And he looked at me and he was just still totally with it. He looked at me and he said, he said, Mel, he's like, gosh, I got so many ideas left in me. He's like, I just don't have any more time.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And, you know, that was such a—the 24 hours that we spent with him, I will never forget that because he was choosing to just live in the biggest way possible, having his whole family there partying. And even though he was in pain and, like, it was the end of his life, he wanted to celebrate and to just, like, do it so big. And even at the end of his life, he wasn't, like—
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
He was just sharing ideas with me. And like, he knew it was the end of his life. He died like hours later. And he still was just so full of life and full of ideas and sharing them. If you have ideas and you're listening to this podcast, like, and that's why I said it at your event. I was like, I want you to remember, you have the gift of time. Mm-hmm. You can change your life. Are you addicted?
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And it crippled me and it became something that I almost lost my life to. And I ended up in a treatment center for six months of my life, you know, after I just walked off the Miss America stage, you know, doing all of these wonderful things.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Are you in a terrible relationship? Do you have this billion-dollar idea that you're like, oh, I can't do it because of what my high school friends are going to think? Oh, my gosh. You still have time, the gift of time, and you can do all these things. And that's something that my grandpa didn't have anymore, and he died with all these ideas still left in him.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And what a beautiful thing still to die with. left in you. And, you know, I didn't share this because I was like, this will fill two more, but he knew that it was the end for him. He stood up out of his chair, like this was, you know, hours after that. And he said, go get mom. And he knew that he was, he died five minutes later. He sat back down in his chair and died five minutes later. Wow.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I know. So it's just so, oh, how he imparted the message of living fully and to me, with his whole life, but especially in the last 24 hours of his life, was epic. And so I'm glad I got to share that on the stage at the Worthy event because it's something that I want people to have a fire under them. After you turn this podcast off or stop watching this, you know, if you're watching it,
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
You have the time. You have time. Oh, please change your life. Please like make the moves because like you're worthy of it.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And you have the time and the ability and like, just do it.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Sorry I cried so much during this. Oh, you just bring that out of me, Jamie. But this is just how I feel about these things. So thank you for having me.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And if you had told me when I was standing on that stage as this shiny, shiniest version of myself that that was where I would end up in a few years, I would have said there's no way. There's no path to that. But perfectionism is certainly a path to that. And it's something that I couldn't outrun. I couldn't keep up with. And it held me back in so many aspects of my life. It kept me in a cage.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
This book literally will teach you how to actually feel worthy so that you can have the strength, you can have the confidence.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And what I experienced in going through treatment, because it's never the drugs and alcohol, and treatment's always what's underneath that that got you there in the first place. And when we started digging up all of that, like, why do you feel like this? And why do you feel like you have to be this version of yourself? What if you showed up as your real, authentic, true self?
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
You know, what would that look like and feel like and be like? And I emerged six months later as the most pure, authentic, non-perfectionistic version of myself. And that's when living fully, which is my whole message, it's what my book is called and my podcast is called and everything that I talk about, just like you talk about worthiness and believing in yourself.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I talk about living fully and to live the fullest life, I could no longer live as a perfectionist. Yeah. because you hold yourself back from so much when you live like that. And so, you know, how I overcame it is maybe different than a lot of people. You know, you may not have to go through an addiction or a crisis, but like it's making a decision that, A, it's the realization that like
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
people don't even love the perfect version of you more than they would love the authentic version of you. Isn't that true? I learned that after showing up as the authentic version of myself, you know, your moment was taking that. That's the first time that I saw Jamie was taking that makeup off on QVC and like showing your skin. I can still remember the reaction that I had to that.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I saw as a person online, when I started showing up truly authentically, Talking about the good stuff and talking about the bad stuff. Showing up with no makeup and my hair wasn't brushed yet and talking about the things that I struggled with and... the non-perfect parts of myself, that's when people liked me more.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Yeah, that's a great question. Because so when I first went to treatment, I was still like so delusional that there was an issue at all. But I thought when I showed up that day and luckily like my parents were the ones that facilitated like there is an issue here. We don't know because we've never experienced addiction as a family. So they were Googling and asking and trying to figure out.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And we were kind of like throwing a Hail Mary of like, is this the issue? Like, what is the problem? Because it just looked so different for me. I wasn't out on the street doing drugs. These were prescription medications that were being prescribed to me that I had become dependent on and was taking them in a way that was not prescribed.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
But I was still so delusional when I showed up because I felt like I still had everything together in my life, even though I really didn't. Because it... kind of looked that way on the outside. And I thought, okay, I'll show up to this place and they're going to turn me away and be like, well, she doesn't need to be here.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
A 0% chance. Number one, I wouldn't be alive today. You don't think you would have lived another eight weeks? I was that close, like my body was shutting down.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Not only did they very quickly realize I need to be there, but I did my 30 days there because most people they'll do 30 days of treatment. And at the end of 30 days, you've gone through withdrawals and all the things that you need to go through, you know, that your body needs to go through. And I thought after 30 days, I would be pretty good to go and they would send me home.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I thought, you know, as the still perfectionist that I was, I was like, well, great, you know, this will give me a little bit of street cred and I can write a book about it one day. And like, this is going to be great, you know, for the future of me. It's okay, this blip on the radar. And
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
My parents came in and we sat down with my counselor and they said, we don't feel like you're finished with the work here. We are recommending extended care for you, which was three months that they wanted me to stay there longer. And I was floored by that because I had seen people that had come in that were literally on the streets using heroin and things that I thought
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
in my perfect perfectionistic mind were worse than what I was doing. I was comparing myself to other people and being like, well, they're certainly gonna let me out. Like they're not even keeping these people. And they kept me the longest.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And it was in that three months that turned into almost five months that I did the work on uncovering what was underneath and why I'd become the person that I'd become and why I was using these things like I was using. And they did something really crazy kind of with me. They're very individualistic at the place that I went in their approach to how they help people overcome their addictions and
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
the things that they need to overcome that was underneath their addictions. And something that they did with me, I clearly, you know, coming from pageants and caring a lot about my appearance and what I looked like, I had had these long blonde hair extensions like my whole life. I'd never gone a day without hair extensions and full makeup and everything.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
Um, I remember they, I'd been, um, in extended care for a few weeks and they said, well, you're doing really well. So we're going to let you have a hair appointment. Cause I had had, I have dark hair naturally and my dark roots were growing out and all these extensions were starting to fall. I was literally physically starting to fall apart. oh, amazing. Awesome.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
So, you know, I did all my things, filled out all my forms and this big van, white van pulls up with our treatment facility name on the side and they drive me to the hair salon. And I opened my book with this story because it was very transformative in the work that I did there. And this story may sound kind of silly to people, but it was one of the most
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
life shifting things that have, that's ever happened to me in my life. And what happened was I walk into this hair salon and, um, they were going to take my hair extensions out because they were halfway falling out. And, uh, you know, for 10 years, I'd never had them out of my head. And I don't think I really thought about that.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And so they took all these extensions out of my hair and I was faced backwards. So I So they did that first before they were getting ready to color my hair. And I can still remember there was a silver tray next to me. And I can remember seeing her take these permanent extensions out of my hair and putting them on this silver tray beside me.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
I want you to not be embarrassed about the things that you went through, especially those things that are dark and a little seedy and feel a little sketchy to you and that you don't want to say at the PTA meeting. It's me. It's me to have sat by this beautiful peony arrangement with my face on a book.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And when she turned my chair around and I looked in the mirror, I had an out-of-body experience and my life like flashed before my eyes. Really? It was very bizarre. And I was so emotional that my hair was out. My hair was like two inches long underneath that. It was all different colors because I had two inches of dark roots. And I had just never seen myself like that.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Live Fully & Create the Life of Your Dreams! Secrets to Your Best Life, Love and Business Now w/ Mallory Ervin
And I think also just everything that I'd gone through, I was a different version of the person that I'd expected to become. And it was so emotional and so visceral, this reaction that I had. And then she went on to say, okay, now we're going to color your roots. And I was already having this moment. I was like, okay. So she colored my hair and it ended up not going well.