Macy Yo
Appearances
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
So I'm from Tacoma, Washington, and they, yeah. But yeah. That's right. Throw that shit up. They steal weird shit out of your car there. Because I got in my car one day and I noticed somebody had rummaged through all my shit. And I wasn't really that upset because, you know, I didn't really have anything in there. And then I realized something else was missing.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
Those motherfuckers stole my floor mats. I was sitting there like, what kind of fucking maniac steals floor mats? What a psychopath. Then I went to the Subaru dealership to get some new floor mats for my Outback. Fucking $80 to get new floor mats. I was like, fuck this shit. I just went outside and stole somebody else's floor mats.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
That lesbian was probably like, what kind of maniac steals floor mats?
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
Oh. My grandpa's name is Jerome. Yeah, but what color is he? Uh, very, very, uh... White.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
What's up? I grew up in Alaska back in the 80s. Yeah, they used to tell us all the time that we were gonna get nuked. All the time they would be like, hey, if the Russians drop a nuke on us, jump under your desk. Even as like a first grader, I was like, that's fucking dumb. And then I smoke a weed and I found out why they tell you that, there's this Japanese dude
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
And he had to go to work out of town, and he had to go to Hiroshima. And he saw a big flash, and he was like, oh, shit. And he jumped under his desk, and he survived. And then, like, a couple days later, he had to go back home to his hometown of Nagasaki. Yeah, he saw it again. He was like, oh, fuck, and jumped under his desk again. So I was all high, and I was like...
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
How come we don't just build big desks over our houses?
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
Sorry, I was a little winded. I had to come from the farthest point.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
Is that true? Yeah. She slurs she doesn't smoke weed, but I remember her growing it as a kid.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
Me and my friend Mason, he got tickets, and so he said we should come down and try to get on.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
I'm a stay-at-home dad, and then I started doing comedy when my daughter got older, so.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
Yeah, I was just sitting back there going my daughter would love the band over here.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
Yeah, my my girl She got a really good job. So what's that job? She sells cruises like luxury cruises and
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
To people all over. She's like a super agent for a cruise line. Okay, absolutely.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
Give them some shout outs. I used to smoke opium blunts.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
I had hurt myself, and I was on Vicodin, and then I just progressed to just smoking opium and blunts.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
No, I started getting real opium from this Chinese dude and just breaking it up and putting it in the blunts.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
I think he could tell I was already popping lots of Vicodin. So he was like, this guy looks like he got it in his eye.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
I partied with a Seattle Mariner one night and then he got kicked down the stairs the next day by his wife and couldn't play baseball.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
People in Tacoma, not known for their... I got introduced to wax, like the weed wax. Right. So I just started putting that in my blunts.