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Luz Leguizamo

Appearances

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

1722.217

Yes.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

1756.074

Yeah. Well, since you were tiny, tiny, a toddler, it was a little demon running everywhere, had so much energy, it was almost impossible to... But I kept you thin.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

1787.724

Oh, I think that you... Because you always got notes. Yes, I think that you look great and you were funny and that I also love very much when you talk to Anna.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

1802.633

It was amazing. But you liked her better than me, right? And all my friends said, oh, fantastic, oh, beautiful. He's great. Oh, my God, my God. It was every second.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

1820.248

No, I did not have criticisms because I was happy seeing you there.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

1828.655

Yes, but because they are longer, I mean, you know, so two hours.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

1837.858

Sometimes you take them, sometimes you say, please don't tell me.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

1845.265

Yes, yes.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

1850.668

Yes, you tell me all those things.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

1853.43

So I keep them to myself.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

1864.076

Oh my God.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

1870.04

Yeah, so I went to a luncheon of bankers, and I meet this guy that is supposedly because the friend who invited me to the luncheon.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

1882.575

I don't know how they're going to edit this.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

1886.559

I met this guy that was Egyptian, and my friend told me he's very rich. The guy came up to me and said, oh, you are very nice. I would like to have dinner with you. Would you like to have dinner with me?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

1907.164

Okay, so I said. You don't need his biography. Okay, he asked me for dinner, and I said, all right. And he says, he said, when is good? I said, Saturday night.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

1919.109

So I was living in Queens, and so he said, I'll pick you up at 7.30. So it happens that he probably came 7 that night.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

1930.676

Right.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

1935.021

So it happens that he comes before. And so I'm in the bathroom. I'm taking a shower. Oh my God, you're going to go through the whole shower? Come on. So the guy comes to the house. Let's get to the date. The guy comes to the house, rings the bell. Jance opens. And I had told the guy, please wait for me at the car. Just let me know that you are there, and wait for me at the car.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

1962.826

But the cab guy comes, and Jan opens, and Jan says, the guy says to Jan, he didn't know that I have two children. I didn't tell him.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

1980.313

Right. With two boys that were a little dangerous. So Jan says to him, instead of saying, yeah, she will come out in 10 minutes or whatever, he says, please come in. He invites him in.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

2005.088

Yeah.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

2009.269

So what happens is they invite him in. He comes in.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

2015.25

Yes. He told me. To question him. He said, after he found out that you were my sons, he said, each one sat on each side. And he said, when I started talking, I think your older son started answering to me with my same accent. And then your other son was laughing. You know, Sergio was laughing.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

2038.605

Yeah. And so he says, I was, at the beginning, I said, is he mocking me? Or is my, you know, but so he said, I kept talking to them. And Jan kept answering to me. I mean, your son kept answering to me with my accent. You know what? The guy took me to the dinner. He didn't come back to Queens. He sent me with the driver, and I never heard of him anymore.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

2086.169

Well, I wasn't, when I saw your first, when you invited me to that school that you were.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

2093.42

No, no, no.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

2094.641

When you were already taking drama lessons. Pierce 122. Sylvia was here.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

2102.491

That wasn't a school. Oh, acting school. The acting school. Before that, I thought maybe he's going to be at this for a couple of months and then he was going to do something else. But when I saw that show, I said, oh my God, he is going to be an actor. He was 10 minutes. I got it like that.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

2126.939

I was always doing voices and parties, imitating people.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

2143.833

Yeah. Before I got divorced, I got a fur coat. And one day, I came home, and he was with my fur coat, being like a... Pimp. Like a pimp.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

2161.595

I was laughing. Oh, my God. I thought that it was so funny. because he was really acting like a pimp. He had a hat, my fur coat. All right, thank you everybody.