Luis J. Gomez
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
I've never seen a red band look worse than right now.
I've never seen a red band look worse than right now.
I've never seen a red band look worse than right now.
He looks like he crawled out of the fucking sewer today. What are you talking about?
He looks like he crawled out of the fucking sewer today. What are you talking about?
He looks like he crawled out of the fucking sewer today. What are you talking about?
This guy was actually funnier than you.
This guy was actually funnier than you.
This guy was actually funnier than you.
Okay, Trish. My mustache is covered in shit right now, just so you know.
Okay, Trish. My mustache is covered in shit right now, just so you know.
Okay, Trish. My mustache is covered in shit right now, just so you know.
Okay, this is getting weird.
Okay, this is getting weird.
Okay, this is getting weird.
I love how we just didn't give a shit about her friend at all.
I love how we just didn't give a shit about her friend at all.
I love how we just didn't give a shit about her friend at all.
To be fair, I also would have killed myself with drugs if I had to hang out with you. Yeah, it is true.
To be fair, I also would have killed myself with drugs if I had to hang out with you. Yeah, it is true.
To be fair, I also would have killed myself with drugs if I had to hang out with you. Yeah, it is true.
When the rapists become the raped.
When the rapists become the raped.
When the rapists become the raped.
I love how you're speaking a Puerto Rican accent Mexican. He's just trying to get us deported, bro.
I love how you're speaking a Puerto Rican accent Mexican. He's just trying to get us deported, bro.
I love how you're speaking a Puerto Rican accent Mexican. He's just trying to get us deported, bro.
I'm Irish, I'm Irish, Tony. Can I offer you some ketamine?
I'm Irish, I'm Irish, Tony. Can I offer you some ketamine?
I'm Irish, I'm Irish, Tony. Can I offer you some ketamine?
Also, you guys have the same fucking voice.
Also, you guys have the same fucking voice.
Also, you guys have the same fucking voice.
All right. Don't make me give you the fist. Whoa. Yeah, they're actually racist. They're like a Puerto Rican and a black guy. We didn't pay for this shit. Yeah, exactly. This is Texas. Where's the white people?
All right. Don't make me give you the fist. Whoa. Yeah, they're actually racist. They're like a Puerto Rican and a black guy. We didn't pay for this shit. Yeah, exactly. This is Texas. Where's the white people?
All right. Don't make me give you the fist. Whoa. Yeah, they're actually racist. They're like a Puerto Rican and a black guy. We didn't pay for this shit. Yeah, exactly. This is Texas. Where's the white people?
I think so. It's 20-some-odd appearances. This is where brothers from back in the day was doing this show when it was in the Comedy Store belly room. 20, 30 people in the crowd. Look at this shit. You guys are going to Netflix.
I think so. It's 20-some-odd appearances. This is where brothers from back in the day was doing this show when it was in the Comedy Store belly room. 20, 30 people in the crowd. Look at this shit. You guys are going to Netflix.
I think so. It's 20-some-odd appearances. This is where brothers from back in the day was doing this show when it was in the Comedy Store belly room. 20, 30 people in the crowd. Look at this shit. You guys are going to Netflix.
You're actually worse at selling boots than you are at comedy. That's crazy.
You're actually worse at selling boots than you are at comedy. That's crazy.
You're actually worse at selling boots than you are at comedy. That's crazy.
Well, I'm shadow banned from most platforms, Tony. Well...
Well, I'm shadow banned from most platforms, Tony. Well...
Well, I'm shadow banned from most platforms, Tony. Well...
I'm starting to think that Cam beat the shit out of this girl. He said it way too many times that he didn't. No.
I'm starting to think that Cam beat the shit out of this girl. He said it way too many times that he didn't. No.
I'm starting to think that Cam beat the shit out of this girl. He said it way too many times that he didn't. No.
So this was a black wedding?
So this was a black wedding?
So this was a black wedding?
Oh, wow. I've never been to a black wedding. That's wild.
Oh, wow. I've never been to a black wedding. That's wild.
Oh, wow. I've never been to a black wedding. That's wild.
Only in the black community do you have to clarify that your aunt is older than you.
Only in the black community do you have to clarify that your aunt is older than you.
Only in the black community do you have to clarify that your aunt is older than you.
Quarter weekends, it's true. I have an aunt who's one year younger than me.
Quarter weekends, it's true. I have an aunt who's one year younger than me.
Quarter weekends, it's true. I have an aunt who's one year younger than me.
So you had to punch that white fat chick in the face again. No, it was a black fat bitch. It was a black fat chick. Never mind.
So you had to punch that white fat chick in the face again. No, it was a black fat bitch. It was a black fat chick. Never mind.
So you had to punch that white fat chick in the face again. No, it was a black fat bitch. It was a black fat chick. Never mind.
Because he loves orange chicken.
Because he loves orange chicken.
Because he loves orange chicken.
Okay. I like this guy. He's got a swag to him. I think the other comics bummed the audience out so much that he didn't do as well as he would have done. So I blame the other comedians for... It is true.
Okay. I like this guy. He's got a swag to him. I think the other comics bummed the audience out so much that he didn't do as well as he would have done. So I blame the other comedians for... It is true.
Okay. I like this guy. He's got a swag to him. I think the other comics bummed the audience out so much that he didn't do as well as he would have done. So I blame the other comedians for... It is true.
What the fuck you playing baseball for?
What the fuck you playing baseball for?
What the fuck you playing baseball for?
All right, hold on. Pretend Tony's a girl you're hitting on at a bar.
All right, hold on. Pretend Tony's a girl you're hitting on at a bar.
All right, hold on. Pretend Tony's a girl you're hitting on at a bar.
How tall are you? Because you are adorable.
How tall are you? Because you are adorable.
How tall are you? Because you are adorable.
You're like, well, it was cool, man. Don't worry. Hey, babe. No, it's all good.
You're like, well, it was cool, man. Don't worry. Hey, babe. No, it's all good.
You're like, well, it was cool, man. Don't worry. Hey, babe. No, it's all good.
It was more like an exclamation point.
It was more like an exclamation point.
It was more like an exclamation point.
Wait a minute, you gave her access to your apartment? Yeah, but she said- That's not breaking in, you fucking idiot. You gave her the keys to your apartment. A stranger you let into your apartment who had pan attacks in the shower. That is completely on you.
Wait a minute, you gave her access to your apartment? Yeah, but she said- That's not breaking in, you fucking idiot. You gave her the keys to your apartment. A stranger you let into your apartment who had pan attacks in the shower. That is completely on you.
Wait a minute, you gave her access to your apartment? Yeah, but she said- That's not breaking in, you fucking idiot. You gave her the keys to your apartment. A stranger you let into your apartment who had pan attacks in the shower. That is completely on you.
Yeah, you did one. Lamer, you're doing one now.
Yeah, you did one. Lamer, you're doing one now.
Yeah, you did one. Lamer, you're doing one now.
La Mer always has peanut butter on his gums. He's a big fan of the Kentucky Slurpee.
La Mer always has peanut butter on his gums. He's a big fan of the Kentucky Slurpee.
La Mer always has peanut butter on his gums. He's a big fan of the Kentucky Slurpee.
Tony, you compare me to the horse girl. Come on, dude. Let her quit that job. Have her be the horse girl on the show. It's a drop in the bucket, Tony.
Tony, you compare me to the horse girl. Come on, dude. Let her quit that job. Have her be the horse girl on the show. It's a drop in the bucket, Tony.
Tony, you compare me to the horse girl. Come on, dude. Let her quit that job. Have her be the horse girl on the show. It's a drop in the bucket, Tony.
Let me ask you a question. Colton, would you like to go back to New Orleans this November 14th or 16th?
Let me ask you a question. Colton, would you like to go back to New Orleans this November 14th or 16th?
Let me ask you a question. Colton, would you like to go back to New Orleans this November 14th or 16th?
We would love to have you at Skankfest this year, brother. He's doing Skankfest. We would love to have you. You were a fucking killer. Not only did you do the best out of the night, but it was dark, genuinely funny fucking comedy. My type of shit. I really dig your shit, dude. Thank you, man. Very confident. You're going to have a blast there.
We would love to have you at Skankfest this year, brother. He's doing Skankfest. We would love to have you. You were a fucking killer. Not only did you do the best out of the night, but it was dark, genuinely funny fucking comedy. My type of shit. I really dig your shit, dude. Thank you, man. Very confident. You're going to have a blast there.
We would love to have you at Skankfest this year, brother. He's doing Skankfest. We would love to have you. You were a fucking killer. Not only did you do the best out of the night, but it was dark, genuinely funny fucking comedy. My type of shit. I really dig your shit, dude. Thank you, man. Very confident. You're going to have a blast there.
For a man that is so grotesque, you have so much confidence. It's unbelievable. Yeah.
For a man that is so grotesque, you have so much confidence. It's unbelievable. Yeah.
For a man that is so grotesque, you have so much confidence. It's unbelievable. Yeah.
Let's talk about it. I'd love to hear about it. You're just fucking great, though, dude. You got a great energy. Thank you, man. I appreciate it. And if you're friends with fucking Redbin, you're friends with LaMere, I know you're a fucking A-class dude, so I'll see you in New Orleans at Skankfest.
Let's talk about it. I'd love to hear about it. You're just fucking great, though, dude. You got a great energy. Thank you, man. I appreciate it. And if you're friends with fucking Redbin, you're friends with LaMere, I know you're a fucking A-class dude, so I'll see you in New Orleans at Skankfest.
Let's talk about it. I'd love to hear about it. You're just fucking great, though, dude. You got a great energy. Thank you, man. I appreciate it. And if you're friends with fucking Redbin, you're friends with LaMere, I know you're a fucking A-class dude, so I'll see you in New Orleans at Skankfest.
All right, that bit was so fucking funny. I didn't have an ending, though. I was, like, trying to find it. No, it was fucking, it was literally perfect. I leaned into Tony. I was like, he just fucking wrote that? That's crazy. It's so, you're so talented. Every time I see you on this show, I'm blown the fuck away. Genuinely, I think one of the best comics working today.
All right, that bit was so fucking funny. I didn't have an ending, though. I was, like, trying to find it. No, it was fucking, it was literally perfect. I leaned into Tony. I was like, he just fucking wrote that? That's crazy. It's so, you're so talented. Every time I see you on this show, I'm blown the fuck away. Genuinely, I think one of the best comics working today.
All right, that bit was so fucking funny. I didn't have an ending, though. I was, like, trying to find it. No, it was fucking, it was literally perfect. I leaned into Tony. I was like, he just fucking wrote that? That's crazy. It's so, you're so talented. Every time I see you on this show, I'm blown the fuck away. Genuinely, I think one of the best comics working today.
Genuinely, I really mean that. Oh, thank you.
Genuinely, I really mean that. Oh, thank you.
Genuinely, I really mean that. Oh, thank you.
No, the general sale for Skank Fest is May 2nd. Pre-sale VIP tickets are already gone, but May 2nd, they're going to sell out very quick. May 2nd.
No, the general sale for Skank Fest is May 2nd. Pre-sale VIP tickets are already gone, but May 2nd, they're going to sell out very quick. May 2nd.
No, the general sale for Skank Fest is May 2nd. Pre-sale VIP tickets are already gone, but May 2nd, they're going to sell out very quick. May 2nd.
Maybe you should stop doing really nerve-wracking activities like performing in front of large groups of people.
Maybe you should stop doing really nerve-wracking activities like performing in front of large groups of people.
Maybe you should stop doing really nerve-wracking activities like performing in front of large groups of people.
What else? Lewis. We should have him go fight the Ukrainians in Russia. You never know when I'm going to throw one, you know?
What else? Lewis. We should have him go fight the Ukrainians in Russia. You never know when I'm going to throw one, you know?
What else? Lewis. We should have him go fight the Ukrainians in Russia. You never know when I'm going to throw one, you know?
Okay. Okay. Is your favorite band the Alabama Shakes? No, Shaky Graves.
Okay. Okay. Is your favorite band the Alabama Shakes? No, Shaky Graves.
Okay. Okay. Is your favorite band the Alabama Shakes? No, Shaky Graves.
You're really bumming me out, dude. I know, I'm so sorry. I mean, Jesus Christ, I have to say it.
You're really bumming me out, dude. I know, I'm so sorry. I mean, Jesus Christ, I have to say it.
You're really bumming me out, dude. I know, I'm so sorry. I mean, Jesus Christ, I have to say it.
You got a warrant for a burning bush?
You got a warrant for a burning bush?
You got a warrant for a burning bush?
You call this city a city with law and order? Are you out of your fucking mind? The homeless people should light themselves on fire here.
You call this city a city with law and order? Are you out of your fucking mind? The homeless people should light themselves on fire here.
You call this city a city with law and order? Are you out of your fucking mind? The homeless people should light themselves on fire here.
I feel like the issue today is that everyone here is so unlikable, and their families didn't want them home for the holidays. That's what's happening. So everyone back there is just some fucking boring fucking asshole. We're like, all right, dude. Another person we don't want to spend time with.
I feel like the issue today is that everyone here is so unlikable, and their families didn't want them home for the holidays. That's what's happening. So everyone back there is just some fucking boring fucking asshole. We're like, all right, dude. Another person we don't want to spend time with.
I feel like the issue today is that everyone here is so unlikable, and their families didn't want them home for the holidays. That's what's happening. So everyone back there is just some fucking boring fucking asshole. We're like, all right, dude. Another person we don't want to spend time with.
They can only sing Silent Night?
They can only sing Silent Night?
They can only sing Silent Night?
He said, go do an open mic. That's not good advice. That's just like, get out of my face. Yeah.
He said, go do an open mic. That's not good advice. That's just like, get out of my face. Yeah.
He said, go do an open mic. That's not good advice. That's just like, get out of my face. Yeah.
Tony, did you just have a stroke?
Tony, did you just have a stroke?
Tony, did you just have a stroke?
If you would have put the girl on a roller coaster, she wouldn't need an abortion.
If you would have put the girl on a roller coaster, she wouldn't need an abortion.
If you would have put the girl on a roller coaster, she wouldn't need an abortion.
His favorite song is Enter Sandman. Yes.
His favorite song is Enter Sandman. Yes.
His favorite song is Enter Sandman. Yes.
That's why they call them Tommy Tickles.
That's why they call them Tommy Tickles.
That's why they call them Tommy Tickles.
I think Drew, he's the sweetest fucking man on earth. He's naturally a very funny guy. He has a speech impediment and might be retarded, but beyond that, I think he's fucking truly great. I really like you, Drew. You know that.
I think Drew, he's the sweetest fucking man on earth. He's naturally a very funny guy. He has a speech impediment and might be retarded, but beyond that, I think he's fucking truly great. I really like you, Drew. You know that.
I think Drew, he's the sweetest fucking man on earth. He's naturally a very funny guy. He has a speech impediment and might be retarded, but beyond that, I think he's fucking truly great. I really like you, Drew. You know that.
But no, it was good. You said you were watching the Special Olympics. Are you sure the TV wasn't off and you were just looking at your reflection in the black screen?
But no, it was good. You said you were watching the Special Olympics. Are you sure the TV wasn't off and you were just looking at your reflection in the black screen?
But no, it was good. You said you were watching the Special Olympics. Are you sure the TV wasn't off and you were just looking at your reflection in the black screen?
Absolutely. How bad was this guy? Jesus. Nerd. Holy shit!
Absolutely. How bad was this guy? Jesus. Nerd. Holy shit!
Absolutely. How bad was this guy? Jesus. Nerd. Holy shit!
I just figured we should all leave. You guys obviously want to fuck each other. That was crazy. We all just watched that happen. Hey, Lewis, cool hat. Yeah.
I just figured we should all leave. You guys obviously want to fuck each other. That was crazy. We all just watched that happen. Hey, Lewis, cool hat. Yeah.
I just figured we should all leave. You guys obviously want to fuck each other. That was crazy. We all just watched that happen. Hey, Lewis, cool hat. Yeah.
I'm starting to think that he's not a comic and he's just trying to advertise this restaurant. Yeah, I think so. Come to Pushkin, please.
I'm starting to think that he's not a comic and he's just trying to advertise this restaurant. Yeah, I think so. Come to Pushkin, please.
I'm starting to think that he's not a comic and he's just trying to advertise this restaurant. Yeah, I think so. Come to Pushkin, please.
I wouldn't inject.
I wouldn't inject.
The pills are going to fry your liver. No, I don't take pills. I take a little powder.
The pills are going to fry your liver. No, I don't take pills. I take a little powder.
You got to snort it? A little powder.
You got to snort it? A little powder.
That would just be boss. You could probably snort creatine. I bet you it would go into your body the exact same way. I'll do a line of creatine with you right now.
That would just be boss. You could probably snort creatine. I bet you it would go into your body the exact same way. I'll do a line of creatine with you right now.
have you seen yeah creatine drip a lot of people love it have snorted creatine without realizing get the creatine yeah creatine and baby right now it's bump lines of creatine right now on the show what a fun what a fun bit i bet call of duty would love that you can just do lines off that fucking load box or whatever that shit is that's what it's for
have you seen yeah creatine drip a lot of people love it have snorted creatine without realizing get the creatine yeah creatine and baby right now it's bump lines of creatine right now on the show what a fun what a fun bit i bet call of duty would love that you can just do lines off that fucking load box or whatever that shit is that's what it's for
I don't need to have some pussy doctor tell me what my number is.
I don't need to have some pussy doctor tell me what my number is.
A lot of them wear makeup to hide it, and now it's becoming a thing where they're normalizing it, and you're like, nah, dude, get that makeup back.
A lot of them wear makeup to hide it, and now it's becoming a thing where they're normalizing it, and you're like, nah, dude, get that makeup back.
Small nipples.
Small nipples.
Do you ever run, you ever run in the cold and like your shirt rubs against your nipples, your nipples get all chafed.
Do you ever run, you ever run in the cold and like your shirt rubs against your nipples, your nipples get all chafed.
I have beautiful nipples. You have big nipples? No, I have nice little Puerto Rican nipples. Do you really? Little fucking brown pepperonis.
I have beautiful nipples. You have big nipples? No, I have nice little Puerto Rican nipples. Do you really? Little fucking brown pepperonis.
it's the fucking scariest dude i wish i had that confidence because sam hyde specifically tries to make himself as ugly as possible i'm like he just has whatever it is like the way he's wired he's like no i'm gonna look at like the biggest fucking ugly freak and every time i did yeah he's high for sure oh he's super high that's like yeah that's a problem
it's the fucking scariest dude i wish i had that confidence because sam hyde specifically tries to make himself as ugly as possible i'm like he just has whatever it is like the way he's wired he's like no i'm gonna look at like the biggest fucking ugly freak and every time i did yeah he's high for sure oh he's super high that's like yeah that's a problem
I'm going to go back.
I'm going to go back.
I tried to get him to put me on testosterone. He was like, no. It's not even like a scam where he was trying to get me to like. He was like, no. He was like, you smoke and drink every day. He was like, stop doing that.
I tried to get him to put me on testosterone. He was like, no. It's not even like a scam where he was trying to get me to like. He was like, no. He was like, you smoke and drink every day. He was like, stop doing that.
That's all. I'm very self-conscious about my ass, though. It's kind of flabby. What? The doctor's going to do it.
That's all. I'm very self-conscious about my ass, though. It's kind of flabby. What? The doctor's going to do it.
Dude, my butt sucks.
Dude, my butt sucks.
No, I should have a nice. Dude, I bet Matt's ass is a fucking thing of beauty.
No, I should have a nice. Dude, I bet Matt's ass is a fucking thing of beauty.
Matt does have a dog.
Matt does have a dog.
His acting is unbelievable. No, he's really good. He's unbelievable. This season's great. I mean, the first four episodes blew, but now we're fucking getting... Now we're cooking. Now we're cooking. Episode five, episode six. It's really just brothers jerking each other off. Now I'm completely... But that's the funniest thing possible. It's hilarious. It's unbelievable.
His acting is unbelievable. No, he's really good. He's unbelievable. This season's great. I mean, the first four episodes blew, but now we're fucking getting... Now we're cooking. Now we're cooking. Episode five, episode six. It's really just brothers jerking each other off. Now I'm completely... But that's the funniest thing possible. It's hilarious. It's unbelievable.
They kissed, and I was like, that's not that bad, guys.
They kissed, and I was like, that's not that bad, guys.
You always think it's because he knew.
You always think it's because he knew.
Yeah, she might be the best character on the show.
Yeah, she might be the best character on the show.
Yeah, Parker Posey. She's fucking hilarious.
Yeah, Parker Posey. She's fucking hilarious.
wants to keep that rumor at bay because those two girls know so he might want to fucking murder these fucking sluts i think so that's a fair one i heard a really good theory from one of my producers they think a monkey gets a hold of the gun because they keep on showing monkeys i had a feeling somebody from legion of skanks was going to come up with the dumbest
wants to keep that rumor at bay because those two girls know so he might want to fucking murder these fucking sluts i think so that's a fair one i heard a really good theory from one of my producers they think a monkey gets a hold of the gun because they keep on showing monkeys i had a feeling somebody from legion of skanks was going to come up with the dumbest
You don't think it could be monkeys?
You don't think it could be monkeys?
We just watched.
We just watched.
But I can get past being jerked off by my brother if we were both blacked out on drugs. No chance. But you remembered. Just the drugs. It's not you. It's like you guys chose to do it. No way. Never, ever. I don't have a brother. Maybe I have to have a brother.
But I can get past being jerked off by my brother if we were both blacked out on drugs. No chance. But you remembered. Just the drugs. It's not you. It's like you guys chose to do it. No way. Never, ever. I don't have a brother. Maybe I have to have a brother.
anyway that's what it reminds me of just to hang over the next day being like oh my god what'd we do yeah you do have to bury it and move on like that was a you could you could file that under like that was a truly wild night yeah that was drugs i don't know if it was like if they're completely sober i would understand like wanting to fucking kill yourself and like yeah but it's like you know people do crazy shit on drugs
anyway that's what it reminds me of just to hang over the next day being like oh my god what'd we do yeah you do have to bury it and move on like that was a you could you could file that under like that was a truly wild night yeah that was drugs i don't know if it was like if they're completely sober i would understand like wanting to fucking kill yourself and like yeah but it's like you know people do crazy shit on drugs
Yeah, there was a lot of weird, like, incestual shit. A lot of buildup.
Yeah, there was a lot of weird, like, incestual shit. A lot of buildup.
he was like is she a virgin i was like she's hot like why is she not like yeah it's like so we it was a weird sort of conversation yeah and then the younger the younger brother and the younger the sister sort of have like a little bit of like they're a little too close yeah well the older brother is like just a sexual pig and then it's just coming full circle like the thing that he prizes the most the older brother rules it's all we're talking the whole weekend that's all we've been talking about because i feel derosa is just calling people pigs and that's the funniest the
he was like is she a virgin i was like she's hot like why is she not like yeah it's like so we it was a weird sort of conversation yeah and then the younger the younger brother and the younger the sister sort of have like a little bit of like they're a little too close yeah well the older brother is like just a sexual pig and then it's just coming full circle like the thing that he prizes the most the older brother rules it's all we're talking the whole weekend that's all we've been talking about because i feel derosa is just calling people pigs and that's the funniest the
You know, pigs choose a best friend. I saw this on my Instagram algorithm.
You know, pigs choose a best friend. I saw this on my Instagram algorithm.
They choose a best friend and they'll have sleepovers with them.
They choose a best friend and they'll have sleepovers with them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And we were all like, damn. Dogs are the same. They're just very, like... It's almost like, aren't you embarrassed? Just fucking hump your leg and come. Oh, yeah. You jack off on airplanes. Not in front of anybody. Imagine your loved ones were like, that's just like jacking off in front of your family, just coming on the couch.
And we were all like, damn. Dogs are the same. They're just very, like... It's almost like, aren't you embarrassed? Just fucking hump your leg and come. Oh, yeah. You jack off on airplanes. Not in front of anybody. Imagine your loved ones were like, that's just like jacking off in front of your family, just coming on the couch.
Yeah, I mean, that story might be more famous than any song they've ever made. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The fact that the Gallagher brothers hate each other. Yeah, it's some bullshit.
Yeah, I mean, that story might be more famous than any song they've ever made. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The fact that the Gallagher brothers hate each other. Yeah, it's some bullshit.
Yeah. He's a piece of shit.
Yeah. He's a piece of shit.
Oh, he's a huge pig.
Oh, he's a huge pig.
I mean, dude, rape is a very big.
I mean, dude, rape is a very big.
Damn. And then he, like, punched some old guy at a bar one time. Dude, if you just, like, if you... He's a pig, dude. He's a classic pig.
Damn. And then he, like, punched some old guy at a bar one time. Dude, if you just, like, if you... He's a pig, dude. He's a classic pig.
But also, like, if an old guy's talking shit to you at a bar, at what point do you punch him? There's a moment where you're like, yo, I fucked this dude. I'm gonna just beat this old guy's ass.
But also, like, if an old guy's talking shit to you at a bar, at what point do you punch him? There's a moment where you're like, yo, I fucked this dude. I'm gonna just beat this old guy's ass.
Well, the guy, he tried to buy the old guy. He was like hammering on coke. He tried to buy him a drink. And the old guy was like, I don't want a drink. And he was just offended that he wouldn't take his drink. So then he punched him.
Well, the guy, he tried to buy the old guy. He was like hammering on coke. He tried to buy him a drink. And the old guy was like, I don't want a drink. And he was just offended that he wouldn't take his drink. So then he punched him.
I think it's in the Ukraine. They're getting fucked up. True.
I think it's in the Ukraine. They're getting fucked up. True.
What have you been up to?
What have you been up to?
Just working hard, man. Working hard. I told you guys I applied for Beast Games.
Just working hard, man. Working hard. I told you guys I applied for Beast Games.
Let me pull the trigger.
Let me pull the trigger.
I didn't watch it yet.
I didn't watch it yet.
I have to talk to my attorney. I like to ask for a brief recess. Covering your face.
I have to talk to my attorney. I like to ask for a brief recess. Covering your face.
Thora Birch and Meena Suvari. Thora Birch? I don't know any of the adults' names.
Thora Birch and Meena Suvari. Thora Birch? I don't know any of the adults' names.
I don't know a single adult's name in that movie. That's a crazy deep cut, too. No, Thora Birch. Yeah. How do you not know her name?
I don't know a single adult's name in that movie. That's a crazy deep cut, too. No, Thora Birch. Yeah. How do you not know her name?
Meena Suvari? Yeah, you're the one with Scott. You have high D, bro.
Meena Suvari? Yeah, you're the one with Scott. You have high D, bro.
I'm pretty sure Meena Suvari was an adult in that movie. Like, in real life.
I'm pretty sure Meena Suvari was an adult in that movie. Like, in real life.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I can't name a single other Thor movie. Who's the actress in that old Romeo and Juliet movie? Oh, dude, I loved her.
I can't name a single other Thor movie. Who's the actress in that old Romeo and Juliet movie? Oh, dude, I loved her.
No, no, no, I got it. Fuck, I got it. I really have this. She just died. What?
No, no, no, I got it. Fuck, I got it. I really have this. She just died. What?
Was that Leo, too? Was it the Leo? No, no, no. That was fucking flat-chested Claire Danes. Show those little shitty titties in your mind. What was that guy's name? He might be Mr. Celeb, or what was that? Dude, what's her fucking name, dude? Give me the first letter. Fuck.
Was that Leo, too? Was it the Leo? No, no, no. That was fucking flat-chested Claire Danes. Show those little shitty titties in your mind. What was that guy's name? He might be Mr. Celeb, or what was that? Dude, what's her fucking name, dude? Give me the first letter. Fuck.
Olivia, Olivia, what was the last name? Olivia Hussey. I just got a slutty name. You're going to get punched at Walmart, dude. You're going to get punched at Walmart, dude. All-time top picks. You're going to get caught at Walmart. Olivia Hussey, yeah. Hell yeah, dude. Because when I was in high school, they showed us that, and we were all just like, she was so hot. What happened in that one?
Olivia, Olivia, what was the last name? Olivia Hussey. I just got a slutty name. You're going to get punched at Walmart, dude. You're going to get punched at Walmart, dude. All-time top picks. You're going to get caught at Walmart. Olivia Hussey, yeah. Hell yeah, dude. Because when I was in high school, they showed us that, and we were all just like, she was so hot. What happened in that one?
They just showed, like, they had a naked scene. They also showed that guy's butt, Romeo's butt.
They just showed, like, they had a naked scene. They also showed that guy's butt, Romeo's butt.
He had a sweet, rocking ass. Romeo's ass was fucking delightful. We should get more. Yeah, there should be more representation.
He had a sweet, rocking ass. Romeo's ass was fucking delightful. We should get more. Yeah, there should be more representation.
When's the last time you saw High School is Fair? I mean, we think we watched it on Legion of Skanks.
When's the last time you saw High School is Fair? I mean, we think we watched it on Legion of Skanks.
It's not illegal. It's not illegal. Yeah. What? To watch it now. If it's in a movie.
It's not illegal. It's not illegal. Yeah. What? To watch it now. If it's in a movie.
it's in a movie yeah i might have been in the room that's why i'm like where do i remember this from yeah but you don't see like you do only see rocking asses from men on tv we got to start nice dog butt on yeah man well yeah nobody's showing they're like dude my ass i feel bad like i get naked in the locker room now with my little pud and my fucking flabby ass it's so funny i just do it to make everyone else uncomfortable
it's in a movie yeah i might have been in the room that's why i'm like where do i remember this from yeah but you don't see like you do only see rocking asses from men on tv we got to start nice dog butt on yeah man well yeah nobody's showing they're like dude my ass i feel bad like i get naked in the locker room now with my little pud and my fucking flabby ass it's so funny i just do it to make everyone else uncomfortable
Everyone else in the locker room has a flappy fucking crazy ass. If you're showing your ass and your dick, it's because you have a nice ass and a nice dick. The other guys put a towel around themselves, take their underwear down underneath the towel. I don't do that anymore. You just rip it.
Everyone else in the locker room has a flappy fucking crazy ass. If you're showing your ass and your dick, it's because you have a nice ass and a nice dick. The other guys put a towel around themselves, take their underwear down underneath the towel. I don't do that anymore. You just rip it.
I'm at that age where I feel good naked in a locker room around other men. I was thinking about that today. They're like, dude, gay dudes, it rules for them. They just go to a locker room and just see all these hot dudes with their cocks out. Like, they should have their own locker room. Nothing hateful there. I'm just saying, they should put gays in their own locker room.
I'm at that age where I feel good naked in a locker room around other men. I was thinking about that today. They're like, dude, gay dudes, it rules for them. They just go to a locker room and just see all these hot dudes with their cocks out. Like, they should have their own locker room. Nothing hateful there. I'm just saying, they should put gays in their own locker room.
$10 million was the grand prize on season one. But how do you get it, though? I don't understand.
$10 million was the grand prize on season one. But how do you get it, though? I don't understand.
You get so much dust in your eye, you'd be 600 feet up like, God damn it.
You get so much dust in your eye, you'd be 600 feet up like, God damn it.
I used to tear the legs off of daddy long leg spiders.
I used to tear the legs off of daddy long leg spiders.
It's just a little fucking ball.
It's just a little fucking ball.
gotta be terrifying yeah sucks poor guy but yeah we should do stuff like that frogs all that shit yeah i never did anything a handful of like bugs i would torture but not really even torture i mean i guess it's torture if you're tearing all of its limbs off yeah yeah it's literally a medieval do you think it hurts torture they did that to william wallace
gotta be terrifying yeah sucks poor guy but yeah we should do stuff like that frogs all that shit yeah i never did anything a handful of like bugs i would torture but not really even torture i mean i guess it's torture if you're tearing all of its limbs off yeah yeah it's literally a medieval do you think it hurts torture they did that to william wallace
Do they grow their legs back?
Do they grow their legs back?
They might have to grow their legs back.
They might have to grow their legs back.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I have an interview with Mr. Beast. What if I have Mr. Beast himself interviewing me? That'd be cool.
I have an interview with Mr. Beast. What if I have Mr. Beast himself interviewing me? That'd be cool.
No, they don't want my viewers.
No, they don't want my viewers.
Unless you stop naming underage girls that have been naked in movies.
Unless you stop naming underage girls that have been naked in movies.
Yeah, it's not my fault.
Yeah, it's not my fault.
I think American Beauty is the last one where they put a naked child in the movie.
I think American Beauty is the last one where they put a naked child in the movie.
Remember, like, Brooke Shields in fucking, what was it, The Blue Lagoon? No. Dude, when I was a kid, I would beat my dick until it was fucking, I mean, until it was in pain to that movie. And I believe she was a genuine child. How old was Brooke Shields in Blue Lagoon? She had to be like, yeah, maybe, all right, La Mer. He's like, oh, yeah, 14, right?
Remember, like, Brooke Shields in fucking, what was it, The Blue Lagoon? No. Dude, when I was a kid, I would beat my dick until it was fucking, I mean, until it was in pain to that movie. And I believe she was a genuine child. How old was Brooke Shields in Blue Lagoon? She had to be like, yeah, maybe, all right, La Mer. He's like, oh, yeah, 14, right?
Also, that kid's ass was sweet in Blue Lagoon. 14, nailed it, La Mer.
Also, that kid's ass was sweet in Blue Lagoon. 14, nailed it, La Mer.
La Mer, one of the all-time pigs. What was she doing in the Blue Lagoon? It was her brother and her were shipwrecked, and then they were on an island, and they were both just naked the whole time, and they start banging. And that's the whole movie. Her brother? It is just a straight-up child-born movie. Incest child-born, too. Yeah, I believe that was the premise of it.
La Mer, one of the all-time pigs. What was she doing in the Blue Lagoon? It was her brother and her were shipwrecked, and then they were on an island, and they were both just naked the whole time, and they start banging. And that's the whole movie. Her brother? It is just a straight-up child-born movie. Incest child-born, too. Yeah, I believe that was the premise of it.
It's the Blue Lagoon. Oh, they're cousins. They were cousins. He had a sweet ass, I remember.
It's the Blue Lagoon. Oh, they're cousins. They were cousins. He had a sweet ass, I remember.
Yeah, dude, they start banging into, I guess, creative society. I have no idea. I don't know if they ever get rescued. I remember seeing her as a kid being like, she's so beautiful.
Yeah, dude, they start banging into, I guess, creative society. I have no idea. I don't know if they ever get rescued. I remember seeing her as a kid being like, she's so beautiful.
You've been jacking off to the wrong scene. I've been jacking off to an adult.
You've been jacking off to the wrong scene. I've been jacking off to an adult.
It's straight up child porn, dude.
It's straight up child porn, dude.
You know how many times you have to watch the original movie to remake it?
You know how many times you have to watch the original movie to remake it?
In the original story? Maybe. Back then, dude, Shakespeare times, that's when you'd have a baby. You'd marry and have a baby. Life expectancy of like 25.
In the original story? Maybe. Back then, dude, Shakespeare times, that's when you'd have a baby. You'd marry and have a baby. Life expectancy of like 25.
What was that show on HBO now? With Zendaya?
What was that show on HBO now? With Zendaya?
Euphoria.
Euphoria.
Well, that was like that movie It Follows.
Well, that was like that movie It Follows.
It was pretty sick.
It was pretty sick.
It's a fucking horror movie about an SCD. Yeah.
It's a fucking horror movie about an SCD. Yeah.
Yeah, It Follows is pretty wild, though. It's actually the first time I was scared in a movie in a long time.
Yeah, It Follows is pretty wild, though. It's actually the first time I was scared in a movie in a long time.
So it starts off as a hundred thousand dollars and then it's going to keep, they go, it's just going to keep rising. And if you hit the button, you take the, the, the money, your whole team gets eliminated, which helps you, which, and then you stay in, which helps you get a chance to win to a million dollars. And all four leaders didn't take the million dollars.
So it starts off as a hundred thousand dollars and then it's going to keep, they go, it's just going to keep rising. And if you hit the button, you take the, the, the money, your whole team gets eliminated, which helps you, which, and then you stay in, which helps you get a chance to win to a million dollars. And all four leaders didn't take the million dollars.
you
you
Yeah, they all vote who they think is the most trustworthy. I would do... That's my thing. I got to get in in the first couple episodes, act like I'm a sweetheart.
Yeah, they all vote who they think is the most trustworthy. I would do... That's my thing. I got to get in in the first couple episodes, act like I'm a sweetheart.
Is Beast Game still ongoing? No, the first season's done. But the guy who won, he was a really nice guy. His kid's got some disease, some creatine deficiency disorder. Damn. And he's like, dude, I'm going to use this entire $10 million to cure my son's disease. You're like, that's a good guy. Yeah. That guy should win the game. I'm going to buy a jet and hookers. Yeah.
Is Beast Game still ongoing? No, the first season's done. But the guy who won, he was a really nice guy. His kid's got some disease, some creatine deficiency disorder. Damn. And he's like, dude, I'm going to use this entire $10 million to cure my son's disease. You're like, that's a good guy. Yeah. That guy should win the game. I'm going to buy a jet and hookers. Yeah.
So I'm going to spend all my money on hookers from Verdansk, and I'm going to fly them in. Wait, the son can't produce creatine? I guess it's something.
So I'm going to spend all my money on hookers from Verdansk, and I'm going to fly them in. Wait, the son can't produce creatine? I guess it's something.
I take it. So do I. I don't know what it is. I can tell you take it too, by the way. You can tell I'm getting all swollen. You did get jacked.
I take it. So do I. I don't know what it is. I can tell you take it too, by the way. You can tell I'm getting all swollen. You did get jacked.
See, you look like me. I look like I'm fucking drowned.
See, you look like me. I look like I'm fucking drowned.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Wait, on a video game, you're playing as high schoolers?
Wait, on a video game, you're playing as high schoolers?
Your body adapts to the... Yeah, it just gens it up.
Your body adapts to the... Yeah, it just gens it up.
And you were playing as the high schooler?
And you were playing as the high schooler?
You had a private jet. No, I wasn't on a private jet. I jerk off on almost every flight I'm on. Whatever it is, the way I sit, I have fat thighs, so it just feels like my dick is inside of something, and I just get turned on by sitting for that long, and I go get one out. I shoot it right into the sink. The sink? The sink. I'll usually run with paper towels, and then I, you know.
You had a private jet. No, I wasn't on a private jet. I jerk off on almost every flight I'm on. Whatever it is, the way I sit, I have fat thighs, so it just feels like my dick is inside of something, and I just get turned on by sitting for that long, and I go get one out. I shoot it right into the sink. The sink? The sink. I'll usually run with paper towels, and then I, you know.
You play as girls in Call of Duty? Dude, I'll be that chick she's got like Vitiligo.
You play as girls in Call of Duty? Dude, I'll be that chick she's got like Vitiligo.
11 hours, I would have jacked off five times on that flight. It was close. In your mind? It was close.
11 hours, I would have jacked off five times on that flight. It was close. In your mind? It was close.
Quick one. Yeah, just shoot it. And also, my head hurts immediately for some reason.
Quick one. Yeah, just shoot it. And also, my head hurts immediately for some reason.
I get a really nasty headache after I come out of the fucking vampire.
I get a really nasty headache after I come out of the fucking vampire.
Maybe.
Maybe.
I stopped smoking weed five months ago. Are you totally straight edge? No, I drank here. I shouldn't have. But now I'm back to not drinking again. This was a lot.
I stopped smoking weed five months ago. Are you totally straight edge? No, I drank here. I shouldn't have. But now I'm back to not drinking again. This was a lot.
But what brought it to your attention? My doctor saying I had the tea of a young lady. What? He was like, are you a 12-year-old girl?
But what brought it to your attention? My doctor saying I had the tea of a young lady. What? He was like, are you a 12-year-old girl?
It was 339 was my testosterone number. I don't even know what that means.
It was 339 was my testosterone number. I don't even know what that means.
I was talking about it on the podcast and Tony Hinchcliffe was like, I'm going to set you up with my tea guy. I was like, it's okay, Tony. I'm not taking your testosterone. Close your eyes and open your mouth. I'm going to give it to you.
I was talking about it on the podcast and Tony Hinchcliffe was like, I'm going to set you up with my tea guy. I was like, it's okay, Tony. I'm not taking your testosterone. Close your eyes and open your mouth. I'm going to give it to you.
I want to be more horny. I want to jerk off more.
I want to be more horny. I want to jerk off more.
It's all you do.
It's all you do.
I would not have you pegged for low tea. I'm turning 43 next week. It was the lower end of average for my age.
I would not have you pegged for low tea. I'm turning 43 next week. It was the lower end of average for my age.
Maybe. I don't know. I mean, it was, you know.
Maybe. I don't know. I mean, it was, you know.
Yeah, yeah. That's my shit. How did it work on you? I think so. I'm getting my teeth tested on April 3rd, so we'll see if I've raised my testosterone levels.
Yeah, yeah. That's my shit. How did it work on you? I think so. I'm getting my teeth tested on April 3rd, so we'll see if I've raised my testosterone levels.
It's too much information. We know too much. We were all good. But before we had social media and we can communicate, we used to be able to talk to six people. Nobody was comparing tea.
It's too much information. We know too much. We were all good. But before we had social media and we can communicate, we used to be able to talk to six people. Nobody was comparing tea.
I used to read astronomy all the time. Space, animals, animals attacking you. Yeah.
I used to read astronomy all the time. Space, animals, animals attacking you. Yeah.
Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.
Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.
Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience.
It feels like your skin is like, ugh.
It feels like your skin is like, ugh.
It feels like your skin is like, ugh.
That's the ones Jay's talking about. They're the most disgusting creature in the world, those water bugs in New York City. That's what we used to call them growing up.
That's the ones Jay's talking about. They're the most disgusting creature in the world, those water bugs in New York City. That's what we used to call them growing up.
That's the ones Jay's talking about. They're the most disgusting creature in the world, those water bugs in New York City. That's what we used to call them growing up.
And it's like one month a year that they actually fly. But when they do, man, they just become the grossest thing.
And it's like one month a year that they actually fly. But when they do, man, they just become the grossest thing.
And it's like one month a year that they actually fly. But when they do, man, they just become the grossest thing.
Well, there's all types of... I live out in the country now, and there's all types of animals that I don't love that are around, but nothing's gross like that. There's a bobcat that we've caught on our camera a few times. I'm like, I don't really want that thing around. They're kind of cool, though. Yeah, it's cool. It's not disgusting.
Well, there's all types of... I live out in the country now, and there's all types of animals that I don't love that are around, but nothing's gross like that. There's a bobcat that we've caught on our camera a few times. I'm like, I don't really want that thing around. They're kind of cool, though. Yeah, it's cool. It's not disgusting.
Well, there's all types of... I live out in the country now, and there's all types of animals that I don't love that are around, but nothing's gross like that. There's a bobcat that we've caught on our camera a few times. I'm like, I don't really want that thing around. They're kind of cool, though. Yeah, it's cool. It's not disgusting.
So it came over in a- So in 2020, in the summer of 2020- Illegal immigrant flies.
So it came over in a- So in 2020, in the summer of 2020- Illegal immigrant flies.
So it came over in a- So in 2020, in the summer of 2020- Illegal immigrant flies.
But I know they said in the summer of 2020, we started seeing these little bugs we had never seen before, and they said you're supposed to kill it. They said you're supposed to kill it if you see it. And immediately we were like, I don't work for you, government. I'm not going around killing your bugs. And then by the next summer, there was like 10 times as many.
But I know they said in the summer of 2020, we started seeing these little bugs we had never seen before, and they said you're supposed to kill it. They said you're supposed to kill it if you see it. And immediately we were like, I don't work for you, government. I'm not going around killing your bugs. And then by the next summer, there was like 10 times as many.
But I know they said in the summer of 2020, we started seeing these little bugs we had never seen before, and they said you're supposed to kill it. They said you're supposed to kill it if you see it. And immediately we were like, I don't work for you, government. I'm not going around killing your bugs. And then by the next summer, there was like 10 times as many.
And the next summer, there were like 10 times as many.
And the next summer, there were like 10 times as many.
And the next summer, there were like 10 times as many.
Kind of. Yeah, they're like a little red.
Kind of. Yeah, they're like a little red.
Kind of. Yeah, they're like a little red.
It was only like this for like two weeks last summer, but there were two weeks where my yard was unusable. Like you just could not go out. It's about a month.
It was only like this for like two weeks last summer, but there were two weeks where my yard was unusable. Like you just could not go out. It's about a month.
It was only like this for like two weeks last summer, but there were two weeks where my yard was unusable. Like you just could not go out. It's about a month.
And they land on you. They're not afraid. That's it. Two strikes, China. Don't you try this shit again.
And they land on you. They're not afraid. That's it. Two strikes, China. Don't you try this shit again.
And they land on you. They're not afraid. That's it. Two strikes, China. Don't you try this shit again.
They would do this thing in my old place. We used to, like, we'd have, like, there's, like, a sliding glass door, and we'd have just, like, the screen open. And it was, like, in the weeks where it was bad, every ten minutes you'd look over there, and there's, like, four of them on there. And then you'd hit the screen, and they kind of fly off, but then they just fly right back.
They would do this thing in my old place. We used to, like, we'd have, like, there's, like, a sliding glass door, and we'd have just, like, the screen open. And it was, like, in the weeks where it was bad, every ten minutes you'd look over there, and there's, like, four of them on there. And then you'd hit the screen, and they kind of fly off, but then they just fly right back.
They would do this thing in my old place. We used to, like, we'd have, like, there's, like, a sliding glass door, and we'd have just, like, the screen open. And it was, like, in the weeks where it was bad, every ten minutes you'd look over there, and there's, like, four of them on there. And then you'd hit the screen, and they kind of fly off, but then they just fly right back.
And if you, like, left the room and came back, you'd come back, and there's four of them. 50 of them, like, on your screen. It's just gross.
And if you, like, left the room and came back, you'd come back, and there's four of them. 50 of them, like, on your screen. It's just gross.
And if you, like, left the room and came back, you'd come back, and there's four of them. 50 of them, like, on your screen. It's just gross.
Oh, yeah. Because there's a weird line there. It's like, if they dip, you're almost like, maybe they deserve rights.
Oh, yeah. Because there's a weird line there. It's like, if they dip, you're almost like, maybe they deserve rights.
Oh, yeah. Because there's a weird line there. It's like, if they dip, you're almost like, maybe they deserve rights.
Like, if you go, I'm not going to have a dry nugget.
Like, if you go, I'm not going to have a dry nugget.
Like, if you go, I'm not going to have a dry nugget.
They came down and they were like, you weren't at all, but I just thought you were about to make a really racist joke. No, no, I'm being real. I'm 100%. They love Kool-Aid. You're like, easy, Lewis. Come on, man.
They came down and they were like, you weren't at all, but I just thought you were about to make a really racist joke. No, no, I'm being real. I'm 100%. They love Kool-Aid. You're like, easy, Lewis. Come on, man.
They came down and they were like, you weren't at all, but I just thought you were about to make a really racist joke. No, no, I'm being real. I'm 100%. They love Kool-Aid. You're like, easy, Lewis. Come on, man.
I'm thinking of the one, was that the one on a TV show?
I'm thinking of the one, was that the one on a TV show?
I'm thinking of the one, was that the one on a TV show?
What kind of bear?
What kind of bear?
What kind of bear?
Okay, those are the... Because what do I got in Jersey by me? It's the black bears. Black bears.
Okay, those are the... Because what do I got in Jersey by me? It's the black bears. Black bears.
Okay, those are the... Because what do I got in Jersey by me? It's the black bears. Black bears.
He's biting her fingers It's a funny thing because especially like little kids like they all of their like stories and shows and it's all like nature personified and things like that like I remember like um my uh my daughter when she was like three Asking me why like bugs are running away from her like why is the spider running away or whatever it is? It's like honey
He's biting her fingers It's a funny thing because especially like little kids like they all of their like stories and shows and it's all like nature personified and things like that like I remember like um my uh my daughter when she was like three Asking me why like bugs are running away from her like why is the spider running away or whatever it is? It's like honey
He's biting her fingers It's a funny thing because especially like little kids like they all of their like stories and shows and it's all like nature personified and things like that like I remember like um my uh my daughter when she was like three Asking me why like bugs are running away from her like why is the spider running away or whatever it is? It's like honey
He's like, well, you know, he thinks you're gonna kill it because you might actually kill it. But then you almost, bears, especially the young ones, look so fucking cute. You just look at them and you're like, oh my God.
He's like, well, you know, he thinks you're gonna kill it because you might actually kill it. But then you almost, bears, especially the young ones, look so fucking cute. You just look at them and you're like, oh my God.
He's like, well, you know, he thinks you're gonna kill it because you might actually kill it. But then you almost, bears, especially the young ones, look so fucking cute. You just look at them and you're like, oh my God.
That I've seen videos of, which is insane. I think I saw you playing it on the show. Chimps eating monkeys. But chimps eating monkeys is like dark.
That I've seen videos of, which is insane. I think I saw you playing it on the show. Chimps eating monkeys. But chimps eating monkeys is like dark.
That I've seen videos of, which is insane. I think I saw you playing it on the show. Chimps eating monkeys. But chimps eating monkeys is like dark.
All right, we got to bring the seagulls into Manhattan. We'll figure out the seagull problem next.
All right, we got to bring the seagulls into Manhattan. We'll figure out the seagull problem next.
All right, we got to bring the seagulls into Manhattan. We'll figure out the seagull problem next.
We, one time in, I think actually it was the last time that we all did your show together. The three of us did it. And it was back when you were in LA and I was staying in some Airbnb out in the hills. And me and my wife heard, we were literally sleeping at night and we heard, I believe, coyotes attacking a dog. What? And it was, like, the saddest thing to hear.
We, one time in, I think actually it was the last time that we all did your show together. The three of us did it. And it was back when you were in LA and I was staying in some Airbnb out in the hills. And me and my wife heard, we were literally sleeping at night and we heard, I believe, coyotes attacking a dog. What? And it was, like, the saddest thing to hear.
We, one time in, I think actually it was the last time that we all did your show together. The three of us did it. And it was back when you were in LA and I was staying in some Airbnb out in the hills. And me and my wife heard, we were literally sleeping at night and we heard, I believe, coyotes attacking a dog. What? And it was, like, the saddest thing to hear.
Because you just, you hear them, like, come up. And then it's, like, 30 seconds of the dog going... And my wife loves dogs. She was like crying. And she's like, we have to do something. And I was like, we will be doing nothing but letting this happen. You can't do it.
Because you just, you hear them, like, come up. And then it's, like, 30 seconds of the dog going... And my wife loves dogs. She was like crying. And she's like, we have to do something. And I was like, we will be doing nothing but letting this happen. You can't do it.
Because you just, you hear them, like, come up. And then it's, like, 30 seconds of the dog going... And my wife loves dogs. She was like crying. And she's like, we have to do something. And I was like, we will be doing nothing but letting this happen. You can't do it.
It's pitch black outside. I was going to go out there with a lantern. Pussy.
It's pitch black outside. I was going to go out there with a lantern. Pussy.
It's pitch black outside. I was going to go out there with a lantern. Pussy.
So they started to learn.
So they started to learn.
So they started to learn.
It might have been an honest mistake. They thought it was a moose. We're used to this. And that's how much folk music sucks.
It might have been an honest mistake. They thought it was a moose. We're used to this. And that's how much folk music sucks.
It might have been an honest mistake. They thought it was a moose. We're used to this. And that's how much folk music sucks.
Jersey's called the Garden State, but everyone, when they think of Jersey, they think of Newark or Camden.
Jersey's called the Garden State, but everyone, when they think of Jersey, they think of Newark or Camden.
Jersey's called the Garden State, but everyone, when they think of Jersey, they think of Newark or Camden.
Most of New Jersey is not anything like that. It's just... Mountains and woods.
Most of New Jersey is not anything like that. It's just... Mountains and woods.
Most of New Jersey is not anything like that. It's just... Mountains and woods.
Well, it's like the same way people think of Pennsylvania. They think of Philly and Pittsburgh and shit, but most of Pennsylvania is not, they're not producing Jay Oakerson's out there. They're making like, it's you, but you just went in the lumberjack direction.
Well, it's like the same way people think of Pennsylvania. They think of Philly and Pittsburgh and shit, but most of Pennsylvania is not, they're not producing Jay Oakerson's out there. They're making like, it's you, but you just went in the lumberjack direction.
Well, it's like the same way people think of Pennsylvania. They think of Philly and Pittsburgh and shit, but most of Pennsylvania is not, they're not producing Jay Oakerson's out there. They're making like, it's you, but you just went in the lumberjack direction.
Well, even if you're in the suburb of a big city, you know, like if you're if you're in kind of nowhere, but there's a half hour bus. to like a city where something's happening. But there's people, I remember talking to Jeff Dice, who's a really brilliant dude. He was Ron Paul's chief of staff for years. But so where Ron Paul is, it's like two hours south of Houston.
Well, even if you're in the suburb of a big city, you know, like if you're if you're in kind of nowhere, but there's a half hour bus. to like a city where something's happening. But there's people, I remember talking to Jeff Dice, who's a really brilliant dude. He was Ron Paul's chief of staff for years. But so where Ron Paul is, it's like two hours south of Houston.
Well, even if you're in the suburb of a big city, you know, like if you're if you're in kind of nowhere, but there's a half hour bus. to like a city where something's happening. But there's people, I remember talking to Jeff Dice, who's a really brilliant dude. He was Ron Paul's chief of staff for years. But so where Ron Paul is, it's like two hours south of Houston.
Lake Jackson, I think, was the name of his district. And he was telling me, he was like, dude, there's nothing here. Like, there's no, like, if you're a kid coming up here, it's like, I don't know, we got an Arby's, and we got like, and that's where so many of those kids joined the military. Because that's like the only... Or juggalo.
Lake Jackson, I think, was the name of his district. And he was telling me, he was like, dude, there's nothing here. Like, there's no, like, if you're a kid coming up here, it's like, I don't know, we got an Arby's, and we got like, and that's where so many of those kids joined the military. Because that's like the only... Or juggalo.
Lake Jackson, I think, was the name of his district. And he was telling me, he was like, dude, there's nothing here. Like, there's no, like, if you're a kid coming up here, it's like, I don't know, we got an Arby's, and we got like, and that's where so many of those kids joined the military. Because that's like the only... Or juggalo.
Or there's one other option, oft-overlooked option, become a juggalo.
Or there's one other option, oft-overlooked option, become a juggalo.
Or there's one other option, oft-overlooked option, become a juggalo.
Yeah, there is something about when it's from thousands of years ago. It's easy to go like, look, there was a burning bush and God spoke to this guy. And you're like, when? Like 5,000 years ago. You're like, all right, fine. But when you're just like three Wednesdays ago, it happened. You're like, I'm not buying that.
Yeah, there is something about when it's from thousands of years ago. It's easy to go like, look, there was a burning bush and God spoke to this guy. And you're like, when? Like 5,000 years ago. You're like, all right, fine. But when you're just like three Wednesdays ago, it happened. You're like, I'm not buying that.
Yeah, there is something about when it's from thousands of years ago. It's easy to go like, look, there was a burning bush and God spoke to this guy. And you're like, when? Like 5,000 years ago. You're like, all right, fine. But when you're just like three Wednesdays ago, it happened. You're like, I'm not buying that.
It's gonna raise a few eyebrows if you bring baby Jesus to the daycare.
It's gonna raise a few eyebrows if you bring baby Jesus to the daycare.
It's gonna raise a few eyebrows if you bring baby Jesus to the daycare.
Yeah, he's going to have to take this to the Supreme Court.
Yeah, he's going to have to take this to the Supreme Court.
Yeah, he's going to have to take this to the Supreme Court.
So in some areas, it's illegal to have these names. Not all areas.
So in some areas, it's illegal to have these names. Not all areas.
So in some areas, it's illegal to have these names. Not all areas.
He was... He tricked him. I was just thinking... He tricked him.
He was... He tricked him. I was just thinking... He tricked him.
He was... He tricked him. I was just thinking... He tricked him.
I'm gonna catch this little kid.
I'm gonna catch this little kid.
I'm gonna catch this little kid.
I think every one of these stories is going to end with Jay being spun around and his shirt lifted up. Like Uncle Herb gets in there.
I think every one of these stories is going to end with Jay being spun around and his shirt lifted up. Like Uncle Herb gets in there.
I think every one of these stories is going to end with Jay being spun around and his shirt lifted up. Like Uncle Herb gets in there.
I saw a couple of them. Yeah, and what is it?
I saw a couple of them. Yeah, and what is it?
I saw a couple of them. Yeah, and what is it?
I remember when it landed, I was rooting for him to be drunk. Like I just wanted him to come out and say, I fucking did it.
I remember when it landed, I was rooting for him to be drunk. Like I just wanted him to come out and say, I fucking did it.
I remember when it landed, I was rooting for him to be drunk. Like I just wanted him to come out and say, I fucking did it.
Thank God we all survived being that age, because you're just so stupid, and yet you're in the body of kind of a grown-up, and you just have all this testosterone and fucking being young and not knowing. I could so easily, if I lived in Philly, have been at one of those things.
Thank God we all survived being that age, because you're just so stupid, and yet you're in the body of kind of a grown-up, and you just have all this testosterone and fucking being young and not knowing. I could so easily, if I lived in Philly, have been at one of those things.
Thank God we all survived being that age, because you're just so stupid, and yet you're in the body of kind of a grown-up, and you just have all this testosterone and fucking being young and not knowing. I could so easily, if I lived in Philly, have been at one of those things.
Yeah, with the internet. To make internet videos, yeah. 15, 20, I don't know. Honestly, maybe. Never.
Yeah, with the internet. To make internet videos, yeah. 15, 20, I don't know. Honestly, maybe. Never.
Yeah, with the internet. To make internet videos, yeah. 15, 20, I don't know. Honestly, maybe. Never.
I checked a couple places. 1980s. Look at that. It's Instagram, actually.
I checked a couple places. 1980s. Look at that. It's Instagram, actually.
I checked a couple places. 1980s. Look at that. It's Instagram, actually.
Yes. That's how I saw it first. It's a thing from the Bay Area.
Yes. That's how I saw it first. It's a thing from the Bay Area.
Yes. That's how I saw it first. It's a thing from the Bay Area.
Yeah, especially, all I'm saying, I don't know enough about that whole conspiracy and stuff, but it is crazy if you're like, if you remember the 80s and 90s, the transformation from hip hop, from being like the KRS-One kind of like, there were like all these songs about like cleaning up their streets and listening to your dad and like.
Yeah, especially, all I'm saying, I don't know enough about that whole conspiracy and stuff, but it is crazy if you're like, if you remember the 80s and 90s, the transformation from hip hop, from being like the KRS-One kind of like, there were like all these songs about like cleaning up their streets and listening to your dad and like.
Yeah, especially, all I'm saying, I don't know enough about that whole conspiracy and stuff, but it is crazy if you're like, if you remember the 80s and 90s, the transformation from hip hop, from being like the KRS-One kind of like, there were like all these songs about like cleaning up their streets and listening to your dad and like.
Rap was just, it took this drastic turn from being very positive, pro-black kind of thing, to just all of a sudden being like, we're killing everybody, and fuck bitches.
Rap was just, it took this drastic turn from being very positive, pro-black kind of thing, to just all of a sudden being like, we're killing everybody, and fuck bitches.
Rap was just, it took this drastic turn from being very positive, pro-black kind of thing, to just all of a sudden being like, we're killing everybody, and fuck bitches.
He was so great. For his time in rap, he was fucking incredible. Bro, he's such a good writer.
He was so great. For his time in rap, he was fucking incredible. Bro, he's such a good writer.
He was so great. For his time in rap, he was fucking incredible. Bro, he's such a good writer.
I think that was basically the thing, was he wrote all the songs.
I think that was basically the thing, was he wrote all the songs.
I think that was basically the thing, was he wrote all the songs.
That DOC guy probably wrote a bit, too.
That DOC guy probably wrote a bit, too.
That DOC guy probably wrote a bit, too.
It does feel like it's a Scarface song that you could read one of these books to.
It does feel like it's a Scarface song that you could read one of these books to.
It does feel like it's a Scarface song that you could read one of these books to.
Well, that's why the people who defend it, they always go, I don't know, have you ever been to one? Like, it's just a guy in a dress reading a story. It doesn't have to be weird. But then you're like, you know what would be even less weird is a guy not in a dress reading a story. Or just a teacher.
Well, that's why the people who defend it, they always go, I don't know, have you ever been to one? Like, it's just a guy in a dress reading a story. It doesn't have to be weird. But then you're like, you know what would be even less weird is a guy not in a dress reading a story. Or just a teacher.
Well, that's why the people who defend it, they always go, I don't know, have you ever been to one? Like, it's just a guy in a dress reading a story. It doesn't have to be weird. But then you're like, you know what would be even less weird is a guy not in a dress reading a story. Or just a teacher.
I just saw DJ Paul at Gathering of the Juggalos.
I just saw DJ Paul at Gathering of the Juggalos.
I just saw DJ Paul at Gathering of the Juggalos.
thing, though. They had to have a moment where they were like, alright, it's a choice between throwing stuff or rap music.
thing, though. They had to have a moment where they were like, alright, it's a choice between throwing stuff or rap music.
thing, though. They had to have a moment where they were like, alright, it's a choice between throwing stuff or rap music.
That should be the judge of all of it, though. Like you said before, it's like, what does this actually do for you? Forget whether any of it's real. It's just like, are you happier? Is your life better because you're a juggalo? If so, then do it.
That should be the judge of all of it, though. Like you said before, it's like, what does this actually do for you? Forget whether any of it's real. It's just like, are you happier? Is your life better because you're a juggalo? If so, then do it.
That should be the judge of all of it, though. Like you said before, it's like, what does this actually do for you? Forget whether any of it's real. It's just like, are you happier? Is your life better because you're a juggalo? If so, then do it.
Yeah. We're the second one.
Yeah. We're the second one.
Yeah. We're the second one.
Well, yeah, and I feel like now, I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like almost like the tide has turned in some weird way. Like it's kind of coming back. It definitely has. There were like these big moments. I think like when they tried to cancel you and that didn't work. Yeah.
Well, yeah, and I feel like now, I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like almost like the tide has turned in some weird way. Like it's kind of coming back. It definitely has. There were like these big moments. I think like when they tried to cancel you and that didn't work. Yeah.
Well, yeah, and I feel like now, I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like almost like the tide has turned in some weird way. Like it's kind of coming back. It definitely has. There were like these big moments. I think like when they tried to cancel you and that didn't work. Yeah.
Shane getting SNL, just like big things where it's kind of like, oh, they're almost admitting, okay, we lost the great censor comedians war. But for those years, I think it was good to have Legion of Skanks for a lot of those comics. I was just like, well, this is the place where you could still do whatever you wanted.
Shane getting SNL, just like big things where it's kind of like, oh, they're almost admitting, okay, we lost the great censor comedians war. But for those years, I think it was good to have Legion of Skanks for a lot of those comics. I was just like, well, this is the place where you could still do whatever you wanted.
Shane getting SNL, just like big things where it's kind of like, oh, they're almost admitting, okay, we lost the great censor comedians war. But for those years, I think it was good to have Legion of Skanks for a lot of those comics. I was just like, well, this is the place where you could still do whatever you wanted.
There's a few shows that have big audiences on Rumble. They're bigger than Rumble. Yes, that's kind of the dynamic. Google and YouTube, which are one and the same now, it is amazing how they just became the thing for something that there's no clear reason why there should be one thing. But nobody is like, if you say something and you go, is that true? And I go, yeah, bing it.
There's a few shows that have big audiences on Rumble. They're bigger than Rumble. Yes, that's kind of the dynamic. Google and YouTube, which are one and the same now, it is amazing how they just became the thing for something that there's no clear reason why there should be one thing. But nobody is like, if you say something and you go, is that true? And I go, yeah, bing it.
There's a few shows that have big audiences on Rumble. They're bigger than Rumble. Yes, that's kind of the dynamic. Google and YouTube, which are one and the same now, it is amazing how they just became the thing for something that there's no clear reason why there should be one thing. But nobody is like, if you say something and you go, is that true? And I go, yeah, bing it.
And then all the power in the universe is that algorithm now. It's insane. Saying how much a formula has this much power. And if YouTube decides we're going to push this person, they could make someone one of the most influential people in the world.
And then all the power in the universe is that algorithm now. It's insane. Saying how much a formula has this much power. And if YouTube decides we're going to push this person, they could make someone one of the most influential people in the world.
And then all the power in the universe is that algorithm now. It's insane. Saying how much a formula has this much power. And if YouTube decides we're going to push this person, they could make someone one of the most influential people in the world.
All I know is YouTube thinks I want to see Ben Shapiro a lot more than I want to see Ben Shapiro. YouTube's like, I'm pretty sure you're going to love this guy.
All I know is YouTube thinks I want to see Ben Shapiro a lot more than I want to see Ben Shapiro. YouTube's like, I'm pretty sure you're going to love this guy.
All I know is YouTube thinks I want to see Ben Shapiro a lot more than I want to see Ben Shapiro. YouTube's like, I'm pretty sure you're going to love this guy.
Also, if you're an adult and you're arguing with a child, a 19 year old, a 20 year old, the goal of it, it should always be with the tone of a like, well, look, let me let me give you something to consider. Like maybe I get why you feel that way. But like, hey, maybe look at it this way. It should never be like I want to have the crowd go. Oh. Oh, you destroy. It's like, what are you doing?
Also, if you're an adult and you're arguing with a child, a 19 year old, a 20 year old, the goal of it, it should always be with the tone of a like, well, look, let me let me give you something to consider. Like maybe I get why you feel that way. But like, hey, maybe look at it this way. It should never be like I want to have the crowd go. Oh. Oh, you destroy. It's like, what are you doing?
Also, if you're an adult and you're arguing with a child, a 19 year old, a 20 year old, the goal of it, it should always be with the tone of a like, well, look, let me let me give you something to consider. Like maybe I get why you feel that way. But like, hey, maybe look at it this way. It should never be like I want to have the crowd go. Oh. Oh, you destroy. It's like, what are you doing?
Better learn how to read, Dave. You want to make it in this business.
Better learn how to read, Dave. You want to make it in this business.
Better learn how to read, Dave. You want to make it in this business.
Low energy and levels.
Low energy and levels.
Low energy and levels.
He's very good. Some comedians just have that gift of luring you into their world. Nate Bargatze is very like that. When you watch him, you slow down, and you just kind of sink into his speed. I can't kill unless I'm yelling at the audience.
He's very good. Some comedians just have that gift of luring you into their world. Nate Bargatze is very like that. When you watch him, you slow down, and you just kind of sink into his speed. I can't kill unless I'm yelling at the audience.
He's very good. Some comedians just have that gift of luring you into their world. Nate Bargatze is very like that. When you watch him, you slow down, and you just kind of sink into his speed. I can't kill unless I'm yelling at the audience.
You're hot. You don't have a fucking personality. Get out of here. Go fuck yourself. Even though there are good-looking people who are hilarious and have good personalities, but generally speaking...
You're hot. You don't have a fucking personality. Get out of here. Go fuck yourself. Even though there are good-looking people who are hilarious and have good personalities, but generally speaking...
You're hot. You don't have a fucking personality. Get out of here. Go fuck yourself. Even though there are good-looking people who are hilarious and have good personalities, but generally speaking...
It's like, look, I either got to get funny or do donuts in the streets of Philadelphia.
It's like, look, I either got to get funny or do donuts in the streets of Philadelphia.
It's like, look, I either got to get funny or do donuts in the streets of Philadelphia.
Same guys. The best was early in it, like in March and April, when they would all take videos from their mansion and be like, we're all in this together. Stay home.
Same guys. The best was early in it, like in March and April, when they would all take videos from their mansion and be like, we're all in this together. Stay home.
Same guys. The best was early in it, like in March and April, when they would all take videos from their mansion and be like, we're all in this together. Stay home.
I don't think they will. They'll never acknowledge they were wrong.
I don't think they will. They'll never acknowledge they were wrong.
I don't think they will. They'll never acknowledge they were wrong.
Dude, there's going to be a lot of books written about this period in time.
Dude, there's going to be a lot of books written about this period in time.
Dude, there's going to be a lot of books written about this period in time.
Nah, you wouldn't have had anyone even fighting back against it if it wasn't for the internet. It would have all just been the CNN guys.
Nah, you wouldn't have had anyone even fighting back against it if it wasn't for the internet. It would have all just been the CNN guys.
Nah, you wouldn't have had anyone even fighting back against it if it wasn't for the internet. It would have all just been the CNN guys.
That I object to the most.
That I object to the most.
That I object to the most.
Who knows how they even wiped their ass? Dude, you had to be so horny in the 1600s to just power through all of that to have sex.
Who knows how they even wiped their ass? Dude, you had to be so horny in the 1600s to just power through all of that to have sex.
Who knows how they even wiped their ass? Dude, you had to be so horny in the 1600s to just power through all of that to have sex.
Save me all that shit about carbon emissions, by the way. We're doing great. This is way better than what it used to be.
Save me all that shit about carbon emissions, by the way. We're doing great. This is way better than what it used to be.
Save me all that shit about carbon emissions, by the way. We're doing great. This is way better than what it used to be.
also that he's like, I was the black person five minutes ago.
also that he's like, I was the black person five minutes ago.
also that he's like, I was the black person five minutes ago.
All the, like... basically across the country, even like California, but like all the like areas that you think of as like the hood, it's like Oakland or Compton or Newark or Crown Heights or any of the, those were all white areas up until like the 60s and then like a bunch of black people from the South came up and then all the white people left.
All the, like... basically across the country, even like California, but like all the like areas that you think of as like the hood, it's like Oakland or Compton or Newark or Crown Heights or any of the, those were all white areas up until like the 60s and then like a bunch of black people from the South came up and then all the white people left.
All the, like... basically across the country, even like California, but like all the like areas that you think of as like the hood, it's like Oakland or Compton or Newark or Crown Heights or any of the, those were all white areas up until like the 60s and then like a bunch of black people from the South came up and then all the white people left.
I was on one of those apps to hire a babysitter recently, and it's a very weird thing. I'd never done it before, and it's almost like a dating app. You're swiping left and right, but it's for babysitters, for your kids. And I will say... And I'm on the Legion of Skanks. I'm a comedian. I hang out in a pretty seedy world.
I was on one of those apps to hire a babysitter recently, and it's a very weird thing. I'd never done it before, and it's almost like a dating app. You're swiping left and right, but it's for babysitters, for your kids. And I will say... And I'm on the Legion of Skanks. I'm a comedian. I hang out in a pretty seedy world.
I was on one of those apps to hire a babysitter recently, and it's a very weird thing. I'd never done it before, and it's almost like a dating app. You're swiping left and right, but it's for babysitters, for your kids. And I will say... And I'm on the Legion of Skanks. I'm a comedian. I hang out in a pretty seedy world.
My grandma really, in her mind, the only brown person at the table had the most racist white grandmother.
My grandma really, in her mind, the only brown person at the table had the most racist white grandmother.
My grandma really, in her mind, the only brown person at the table had the most racist white grandmother.
But it is amazing how judgmental you get when you're just judging a person off their face over whether they're going to watch your kids. It was like nose ring.
But it is amazing how judgmental you get when you're just judging a person off their face over whether they're going to watch your kids. It was like nose ring.
But it is amazing how judgmental you get when you're just judging a person off their face over whether they're going to watch your kids. It was like nose ring.
And it is like, the thing that was real interesting about the first one, and I think probably is true about this, although I haven't seen it yet, is that even though he's obviously like a real right-winger, it's not like that's the movie. Like, the movie isn't even making a right-wing argument or anything like that. It's just like... letting these crazy left-wingers showcase how crazy they are.
And it is like, the thing that was real interesting about the first one, and I think probably is true about this, although I haven't seen it yet, is that even though he's obviously like a real right-winger, it's not like that's the movie. Like, the movie isn't even making a right-wing argument or anything like that. It's just like... letting these crazy left-wingers showcase how crazy they are.
And it is like, the thing that was real interesting about the first one, and I think probably is true about this, although I haven't seen it yet, is that even though he's obviously like a real right-winger, it's not like that's the movie. Like, the movie isn't even making a right-wing argument or anything like that. It's just like... letting these crazy left-wingers showcase how crazy they are.
Okay, you tell them. It was nuts. He just went up to these, in the first one that I did see, he just went up to these gender experts and just kept asking them what a woman is. And they all just collapse into themselves. This is the toughest question they've ever thought of.
Okay, you tell them. It was nuts. He just went up to these, in the first one that I did see, he just went up to these gender experts and just kept asking them what a woman is. And they all just collapse into themselves. This is the toughest question they've ever thought of.
Okay, you tell them. It was nuts. He just went up to these, in the first one that I did see, he just went up to these gender experts and just kept asking them what a woman is. And they all just collapse into themselves. This is the toughest question they've ever thought of.
Well, now it's way higher than that with young people because there's not... a real thing to be in trans anymore. It's the new goth, dude. It's the new goth.
Well, now it's way higher than that with young people because there's not... a real thing to be in trans anymore. It's the new goth, dude. It's the new goth.
Well, now it's way higher than that with young people because there's not... a real thing to be in trans anymore. It's the new goth, dude. It's the new goth.
False. According to law professors, I guess.
False. According to law professors, I guess.
False. According to law professors, I guess.
Well, threatening is a little bit more concrete than abusive. Abusive is really vague. Like, what do you mean? Verbally abusive?
Well, threatening is a little bit more concrete than abusive. Abusive is really vague. Like, what do you mean? Verbally abusive?
Well, threatening is a little bit more concrete than abusive. Abusive is really vague. Like, what do you mean? Verbally abusive?
Well, no, but see, even this is in a kind of a little bit vague way because he's saying asserting that sex is a biological fact. So if I just say men are men and women are women, that can't be a crime. But can calling an individual, like, could be like, no, you're not a woman, you're a man. Could that be considered abusive or whatever? It's all the interpretation. Like, what is that, you know?
Well, no, but see, even this is in a kind of a little bit vague way because he's saying asserting that sex is a biological fact. So if I just say men are men and women are women, that can't be a crime. But can calling an individual, like, could be like, no, you're not a woman, you're a man. Could that be considered abusive or whatever? It's all the interpretation. Like, what is that, you know?
Well, no, but see, even this is in a kind of a little bit vague way because he's saying asserting that sex is a biological fact. So if I just say men are men and women are women, that can't be a crime. But can calling an individual, like, could be like, no, you're not a woman, you're a man. Could that be considered abusive or whatever? It's all the interpretation. Like, what is that, you know?
What if you don't threaten them, but if you hypothetically, if that dude was like, I am a woman, and I was like, if you were a woman, I'd slap the shit out of you right now. But you're a man, so I'm afraid you might beat my ass.
What if you don't threaten them, but if you hypothetically, if that dude was like, I am a woman, and I was like, if you were a woman, I'd slap the shit out of you right now. But you're a man, so I'm afraid you might beat my ass.
What if you don't threaten them, but if you hypothetically, if that dude was like, I am a woman, and I was like, if you were a woman, I'd slap the shit out of you right now. But you're a man, so I'm afraid you might beat my ass.
I think we figured them out pretty early on in the game. Clothes? Yeah. No. It was a leaf you put over your head.
I think we figured them out pretty early on in the game. Clothes? Yeah. No. It was a leaf you put over your head.
I think we figured them out pretty early on in the game. Clothes? Yeah. No. It was a leaf you put over your head.
What I should say is I think pretty early in the game of being humans. So, like, whenever they're, like, they trace, like, the genetic to, like, this is when we consider you, like, a modern homo sapien.
What I should say is I think pretty early in the game of being humans. So, like, whenever they're, like, they trace, like, the genetic to, like, this is when we consider you, like, a modern homo sapien.
What I should say is I think pretty early in the game of being humans. So, like, whenever they're, like, they trace, like, the genetic to, like, this is when we consider you, like, a modern homo sapien.
Human beings got close they got to Europe and they were all right.
Human beings got close they got to Europe and they were all right.
Human beings got close they got to Europe and they were all right.
He's Nazi on the left side and gay on the right side. I was going to say, they make them sort of flamboyant-y, too.
He's Nazi on the left side and gay on the right side. I was going to say, they make them sort of flamboyant-y, too.
He's Nazi on the left side and gay on the right side. I was going to say, they make them sort of flamboyant-y, too.
I think it's still the same guy. Yeah, that's it. Who is the guy? I think it's a guy with a big dick. Don Lucas. He's a Greek god.
I think it's still the same guy. Yeah, that's it. Who is the guy? I think it's a guy with a big dick. Don Lucas. He's a Greek god.
I think it's still the same guy. Yeah, that's it. Who is the guy? I think it's a guy with a big dick. Don Lucas. He's a Greek god.
Greek god of fertility, probably.
Greek god of fertility, probably.
Greek god of fertility, probably.
Men's, women, children. It doesn't matter.
Men's, women, children. It doesn't matter.
Men's, women, children. It doesn't matter.
They have to be so good in spite of it.
They have to be so good in spite of it.
They have to be so good in spite of it.
If someone with a face tattoo is an excellent teacher, then let them teach inmates. But stay away from my children.
If someone with a face tattoo is an excellent teacher, then let them teach inmates. But stay away from my children.
If someone with a face tattoo is an excellent teacher, then let them teach inmates. But stay away from my children.
I don't think that. It was an event that teenage girls could be 16 and older.
I don't think that. It was an event that teenage girls could be 16 and older.
I don't think that. It was an event that teenage girls could be 16 and older.
That sounds like the internet, but I don't know.
That sounds like the internet, but I don't know.
That sounds like the internet, but I don't know.
You should be allowed to say that some things are weird and crazy. And that doesn't necessarily mean you have to hate them or be against them. Comedians are weird and crazy. We're all weird and crazy.
You should be allowed to say that some things are weird and crazy. And that doesn't necessarily mean you have to hate them or be against them. Comedians are weird and crazy. We're all weird and crazy.
You should be allowed to say that some things are weird and crazy. And that doesn't necessarily mean you have to hate them or be against them. Comedians are weird and crazy. We're all weird and crazy.
And we'll figure out. We'll go from there.
And we'll figure out. We'll go from there.
And we'll figure out. We'll go from there.
Well, that's the weirdest part of all of it is, like, you can't, like, be mad at someone.
Well, that's the weirdest part of all of it is, like, you can't, like, be mad at someone.
Well, that's the weirdest part of all of it is, like, you can't, like, be mad at someone.
Especially if it's an honest mistake.
Especially if it's an honest mistake.
Especially if it's an honest mistake.
And if you went to the village in New York City, they did. They did get in your face. They were aggressive back then.
And if you went to the village in New York City, they did. They did get in your face. They were aggressive back then.
And if you went to the village in New York City, they did. They did get in your face. They were aggressive back then.
As a representative of conservative America here, I will say I was at my daughter's T-ball game, and there was one of the moms, pregnant, and one of her kids is in the T-ball game, and she's in shorts and just has two leg sleeve tattoos. Now, no judgment. It was fine. But there was something where I was like, it's just a little odd.
As a representative of conservative America here, I will say I was at my daughter's T-ball game, and there was one of the moms, pregnant, and one of her kids is in the T-ball game, and she's in shorts and just has two leg sleeve tattoos. Now, no judgment. It was fine. But there was something where I was like, it's just a little odd.
As a representative of conservative America here, I will say I was at my daughter's T-ball game, and there was one of the moms, pregnant, and one of her kids is in the T-ball game, and she's in shorts and just has two leg sleeve tattoos. Now, no judgment. It was fine. But there was something where I was like, it's just a little odd.
And there's a bunch there's a bunch of people who are trans who are like Basically come out and say like look. I know I'm not a woman. I know I'm a man Yeah, we shouldn't be we shouldn't be around kids. We shouldn't be competing in women's sports.
And there's a bunch there's a bunch of people who are trans who are like Basically come out and say like look. I know I'm not a woman. I know I'm a man Yeah, we shouldn't be we shouldn't be around kids. We shouldn't be competing in women's sports.
And there's a bunch there's a bunch of people who are trans who are like Basically come out and say like look. I know I'm not a woman. I know I'm a man Yeah, we shouldn't be we shouldn't be around kids. We shouldn't be competing in women's sports.
Not a lot. Not a lot of surgeries under 18. There is a lot. And when I say a lot, I think tens of thousands of like the chemical shit, like the puberty blockers.
Not a lot. Not a lot of surgeries under 18. There is a lot. And when I say a lot, I think tens of thousands of like the chemical shit, like the puberty blockers.
Not a lot. Not a lot of surgeries under 18. There is a lot. And when I say a lot, I think tens of thousands of like the chemical shit, like the puberty blockers.
Look, there's also a real debate with surgeries like that about whether that should be allowed even after you're an adult. And, like, I'm not even saying allowed.
Look, there's also a real debate with surgeries like that about whether that should be allowed even after you're an adult. And, like, I'm not even saying allowed.
Look, there's also a real debate with surgeries like that about whether that should be allowed even after you're an adult. And, like, I'm not even saying allowed.
Look, I'm a libertarian. I tend to agree with you. But if there was a doctor and you asked them to just remove my fully functioning left arm because I identify as a one-armed person or whatever, and doctors were like, no, I'm unwilling to perform a surgery on you.
Look, I'm a libertarian. I tend to agree with you. But if there was a doctor and you asked them to just remove my fully functioning left arm because I identify as a one-armed person or whatever, and doctors were like, no, I'm unwilling to perform a surgery on you.
Look, I'm a libertarian. I tend to agree with you. But if there was a doctor and you asked them to just remove my fully functioning left arm because I identify as a one-armed person or whatever, and doctors were like, no, I'm unwilling to perform a surgery on you.
Oh, so that's why he called it off. I thought it was just, this is insane.
Oh, so that's why he called it off. I thought it was just, this is insane.
Oh, so that's why he called it off. I thought it was just, this is insane.
I now, Joe, this is my new grift. I am now Mr. Conservative. We've got to get Trump elected. You've given up on this libertarian stuff. There's no money in it, I figured out.
I now, Joe, this is my new grift. I am now Mr. Conservative. We've got to get Trump elected. You've given up on this libertarian stuff. There's no money in it, I figured out.
I now, Joe, this is my new grift. I am now Mr. Conservative. We've got to get Trump elected. You've given up on this libertarian stuff. There's no money in it, I figured out.
You should have that thing on the back of your car where it's like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. You guys, we're getting close.
You should have that thing on the back of your car where it's like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. You guys, we're getting close.
You should have that thing on the back of your car where it's like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. You guys, we're getting close.
Yeah, they were mad when Trump came this year. But aside from that, they don't really. They don't see us as a threat.
Yeah, they were mad when Trump came this year. But aside from that, they don't really. They don't see us as a threat.
Yeah, they were mad when Trump came this year. But aside from that, they don't really. They don't see us as a threat.
He needs more Eric Weinstein.
He needs more Eric Weinstein.
He needs more Eric Weinstein.
Well, I was on the episode after the first time you had him on and the episode with him was just insane I was like the biggest thing on the internet and Almost 100% of the comments on my episode the next one were we want more Terrence Howard I Did it doesn't go to the right address But I did invent an uber
Well, I was on the episode after the first time you had him on and the episode with him was just insane I was like the biggest thing on the internet and Almost 100% of the comments on my episode the next one were we want more Terrence Howard I Did it doesn't go to the right address But I did invent an uber
Well, I was on the episode after the first time you had him on and the episode with him was just insane I was like the biggest thing on the internet and Almost 100% of the comments on my episode the next one were we want more Terrence Howard I Did it doesn't go to the right address But I did invent an uber
Fuck you, you fucking pussy.
Fuck you, you fucking pussy.
Fuck you, you fucking pussy.
He does that thing where, especially because most of us aren't people who even think about this stuff. So then when he's saying it, like when he was saying the whole thing when he was on with you about how the periodic table shouldn't be squares, it should be circle. And he had like a really good argument for it. And I remember just being like, that does sound really impressive.
He does that thing where, especially because most of us aren't people who even think about this stuff. So then when he's saying it, like when he was saying the whole thing when he was on with you about how the periodic table shouldn't be squares, it should be circle. And he had like a really good argument for it. And I remember just being like, that does sound really impressive.
He does that thing where, especially because most of us aren't people who even think about this stuff. So then when he's saying it, like when he was saying the whole thing when he was on with you about how the periodic table shouldn't be squares, it should be circle. And he had like a really good argument for it. And I remember just being like, that does sound really impressive.
Weinstein agrees with him. Well, that's what the thing is. Then like when you see someone like Eric Weinstein go like, oh, yeah, he's got a good point about this. You're like, wait.
Weinstein agrees with him. Well, that's what the thing is. Then like when you see someone like Eric Weinstein go like, oh, yeah, he's got a good point about this. You're like, wait.
Weinstein agrees with him. Well, that's what the thing is. Then like when you see someone like Eric Weinstein go like, oh, yeah, he's got a good point about this. You're like, wait.
I got off stage and I passed by Angela McArdle, who's the chair of the Libertarian Party. And I walked right by her and I went, 0% chance they listen. Now let's go watch the shit show because this is going to be ridiculous.
I got off stage and I passed by Angela McArdle, who's the chair of the Libertarian Party. And I walked right by her and I went, 0% chance they listen. Now let's go watch the shit show because this is going to be ridiculous.
I got off stage and I passed by Angela McArdle, who's the chair of the Libertarian Party. And I walked right by her and I went, 0% chance they listen. Now let's go watch the shit show because this is going to be ridiculous.
I only watched a little bit of it. They kicked me out of backstage because it's like a Secret Service checkpoint thing or whatever because they're real on top of that. Not so big on... people with rifles on buildings, but they got me out of there.
I only watched a little bit of it. They kicked me out of backstage because it's like a Secret Service checkpoint thing or whatever because they're real on top of that. Not so big on... people with rifles on buildings, but they got me out of there.
I only watched a little bit of it. They kicked me out of backstage because it's like a Secret Service checkpoint thing or whatever because they're real on top of that. Not so big on... people with rifles on buildings, but they got me out of there.
There was one rich guy sitting on a bunch of blue garbage cans.
There was one rich guy sitting on a bunch of blue garbage cans.
There was one rich guy sitting on a bunch of blue garbage cans.
And so I go out and I come back around in the main room and I'm just, I walk into the middle of just all the people like, and one of them, at one point Trump goes, he goes, I fired Comey. And one of the libertarians goes, cause he was, cause he was onto you. And I just turned to him and I went, that's not even the right heckle. And then the guy goes, oh, what's the right heckle?
And so I go out and I come back around in the main room and I'm just, I walk into the middle of just all the people like, and one of them, at one point Trump goes, he goes, I fired Comey. And one of the libertarians goes, cause he was, cause he was onto you. And I just turned to him and I went, that's not even the right heckle. And then the guy goes, oh, what's the right heckle?
And so I go out and I come back around in the main room and I'm just, I walk into the middle of just all the people like, and one of them, at one point Trump goes, he goes, I fired Comey. And one of the libertarians goes, cause he was, cause he was onto you. And I just turned to him and I went, that's not even the right heckle. And then the guy goes, oh, what's the right heckle?
All you got to do is set up the incentives and human beings figure it out. All you got to do is go, if you solve this problem, you can become a billionaire. And then some genius will figure it out to become a billionaire.
All you got to do is set up the incentives and human beings figure it out. All you got to do is go, if you solve this problem, you can become a billionaire. And then some genius will figure it out to become a billionaire.
All you got to do is set up the incentives and human beings figure it out. All you got to do is go, if you solve this problem, you can become a billionaire. And then some genius will figure it out to become a billionaire.
I was like, I can't give it to you right now.
I was like, I can't give it to you right now.
I was like, I can't give it to you right now.
It is like at the airport, they'll do that with the big paper bags, and they charge you for the paper bags. It's not like... You're like, bags were always free. I existed for 30 years on this planet of bags being free.
It is like at the airport, they'll do that with the big paper bags, and they charge you for the paper bags. It's not like... You're like, bags were always free. I existed for 30 years on this planet of bags being free.
It is like at the airport, they'll do that with the big paper bags, and they charge you for the paper bags. It's not like... You're like, bags were always free. I existed for 30 years on this planet of bags being free.
Yeah, it was after that. He was trying to blackmail him, and fucking Trump caught on to that. Really? So he fired him. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. For sure? Yeah. No. How do you know? So, okay. Oh, here we go, guys.
Yeah, it was after that. He was trying to blackmail him, and fucking Trump caught on to that. Really? So he fired him. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. For sure? Yeah. No. How do you know? So, okay. Oh, here we go, guys.
Yeah, it was after that. He was trying to blackmail him, and fucking Trump caught on to that. Really? So he fired him. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. For sure? Yeah. No. How do you know? So, okay. Oh, here we go, guys.
I feel like you don't want to get caught in a hemp gee choke, though. I'd much rather just a regular gee than a hemp gee.
I feel like you don't want to get caught in a hemp gee choke, though. I'd much rather just a regular gee than a hemp gee.
I feel like you don't want to get caught in a hemp gee choke, though. I'd much rather just a regular gee than a hemp gee.
This is how you end up in a superhero movie, man.
This is how you end up in a superhero movie, man.
This is how you end up in a superhero movie, man.
Especially if you're the first human with it.
Especially if you're the first human with it.
Especially if you're the first human with it.
I don't know that they were actually ever trying to do
I don't know that they were actually ever trying to do
I don't know that they were actually ever trying to do
Well, I don't understand it, but it can't just be like a silk T-shirt. They had to have some type of thick silk even for arrows back then.
Well, I don't understand it, but it can't just be like a silk T-shirt. They had to have some type of thick silk even for arrows back then.
Well, I don't understand it, but it can't just be like a silk T-shirt. They had to have some type of thick silk even for arrows back then.
But that's what you can do in comedy, is that is enough to checkmate most comedians.
But that's what you can do in comedy, is that is enough to checkmate most comedians.
But that's what you can do in comedy, is that is enough to checkmate most comedians.
Dude, that would suck to put all that effort into pulling the bow and then Silk takes it out. I did that for nothing. I got beat by Silk.
Dude, that would suck to put all that effort into pulling the bow and then Silk takes it out. I did that for nothing. I got beat by Silk.
Dude, that would suck to put all that effort into pulling the bow and then Silk takes it out. I did that for nothing. I got beat by Silk.
The AI from Google says that they wore silk underclothes to help prevent blood loss from arrows, and that they had armor that was sewn together with silk, but there was some sort of plates. That makes much more sense. So it's like, yeah, under the armor was silk.
The AI from Google says that they wore silk underclothes to help prevent blood loss from arrows, and that they had armor that was sewn together with silk, but there was some sort of plates. That makes much more sense. So it's like, yeah, under the armor was silk.
The AI from Google says that they wore silk underclothes to help prevent blood loss from arrows, and that they had armor that was sewn together with silk, but there was some sort of plates. That makes much more sense. So it's like, yeah, under the armor was silk.
And they're doing it live for what I would describe as not that many people. Yeah, 45 people in the crowd.
And they're doing it live for what I would describe as not that many people. Yeah, 45 people in the crowd.
And they're doing it live for what I would describe as not that many people. Yeah, 45 people in the crowd.
That's insane, man. That knight had really good top control.
That's insane, man. That knight had really good top control.
That's insane, man. That knight had really good top control.
Well, also, all the shit from the NFL is like, the helmet doesn't really matter. Because when it's cracking against your head and you're rattling around, it's still not great.
Well, also, all the shit from the NFL is like, the helmet doesn't really matter. Because when it's cracking against your head and you're rattling around, it's still not great.
Well, also, all the shit from the NFL is like, the helmet doesn't really matter. Because when it's cracking against your head and you're rattling around, it's still not great.
Don't do this, you two. And I do want to watch a full pay-per-view of this now.
Don't do this, you two. And I do want to watch a full pay-per-view of this now.
Don't do this, you two. And I do want to watch a full pay-per-view of this now.
It does look great. This does roll.
It does look great. This does roll.
It does look great. This does roll.
Because he basically, the first time they ever met, he presented him with the Steele dossier, which had all of the, like, dirt.
Because he basically, the first time they ever met, he presented him with the Steele dossier, which had all of the, like, dirt.
Because he basically, the first time they ever met, he presented him with the Steele dossier, which had all of the, like, dirt.
Yeah, all the pee-pee shit in it. Or I shouldn't say shit. There was no shit alleged. Just piss. Russian piss. Yes, alleged Russian piss. That's the aspect Jay wants to make sure. Is that what collusion means?
Yeah, all the pee-pee shit in it. Or I shouldn't say shit. There was no shit alleged. Just piss. Russian piss. Yes, alleged Russian piss. That's the aspect Jay wants to make sure. Is that what collusion means?
Yeah, all the pee-pee shit in it. Or I shouldn't say shit. There was no shit alleged. Just piss. Russian piss. Yes, alleged Russian piss. That's the aspect Jay wants to make sure. Is that what collusion means?
Lewis had a moment where he was like, I don't think I should do armored fighting or get a motorcycle license. Maybe neither of these are good I have to trust you because I have to pee Okay, it's no you're leaving the number one show in the The number one show in the world being left in the hands of the Legion of skanks. What could possibly go wrong?
Lewis had a moment where he was like, I don't think I should do armored fighting or get a motorcycle license. Maybe neither of these are good I have to trust you because I have to pee Okay, it's no you're leaving the number one show in the The number one show in the world being left in the hands of the Legion of skanks. What could possibly go wrong?
Lewis had a moment where he was like, I don't think I should do armored fighting or get a motorcycle license. Maybe neither of these are good I have to trust you because I have to pee Okay, it's no you're leaving the number one show in the The number one show in the world being left in the hands of the Legion of skanks. What could possibly go wrong?
Let's take call Lewis Jamie What if it just turns out there's been phone lines the entire time just people have been waiting to get Some new ideas for the show It's all, but it's all way behind. It's all a guy who's like, I want to say something to Brian Redband. This is, you're years late, sir.
Let's take call Lewis Jamie What if it just turns out there's been phone lines the entire time just people have been waiting to get Some new ideas for the show It's all, but it's all way behind. It's all a guy who's like, I want to say something to Brian Redband. This is, you're years late, sir.
Let's take call Lewis Jamie What if it just turns out there's been phone lines the entire time just people have been waiting to get Some new ideas for the show It's all, but it's all way behind. It's all a guy who's like, I want to say something to Brian Redband. This is, you're years late, sir.
Oh, yeah, he's doing all right.
Oh, yeah, he's doing all right.
Oh, yeah, he's doing all right.
I like to think we're getting there.
I like to think we're getting there.
I like to think we're getting there.
There might be a walrus dick up there somewhere. It does kind of look like a walrus dick now that you mention it.
There might be a walrus dick up there somewhere. It does kind of look like a walrus dick now that you mention it.
There might be a walrus dick up there somewhere. It does kind of look like a walrus dick now that you mention it.
That was pulled out of the permafrost in Alaska. This was? Yeah, see how it's like shaved or sawn there? That was the no one knows why. It's all flat like that. That's the talk.
That was pulled out of the permafrost in Alaska. This was? Yeah, see how it's like shaved or sawn there? That was the no one knows why. It's all flat like that. That's the talk.
That was pulled out of the permafrost in Alaska. This was? Yeah, see how it's like shaved or sawn there? That was the no one knows why. It's all flat like that. That's the talk.
The Walrus dick bone.
The Walrus dick bone.
The Walrus dick bone.
It's not up there. It's in the other one.
It's not up there. It's in the other one.
It's not up there. It's in the other one.
Well, I've seen friends of mine have way less power go to their head. It's weird, right? I wouldn't trust these two with power. But it is a weird thing to watch, right? Yes.
Well, I've seen friends of mine have way less power go to their head. It's weird, right? I wouldn't trust these two with power. But it is a weird thing to watch, right? Yes.
Well, I've seen friends of mine have way less power go to their head. It's weird, right? I wouldn't trust these two with power. But it is a weird thing to watch, right? Yes.
You never build houses. God made the right call on that one.
You never build houses. God made the right call on that one.
You never build houses. God made the right call on that one.
Some primates do have one.
Some primates do have one.
Some primates do have one.
Well, it said chimps have them, which are supposed to be our closest... No houses.
Well, it said chimps have them, which are supposed to be our closest... No houses.
Well, it said chimps have them, which are supposed to be our closest... No houses.
It's like whatever the common ancestor of us and chimps is, that was the split. They were like, look, we're going to go in this direction where we build civilization. And the chimps were like, we're going to keep our dick bones. So good luck.
It's like whatever the common ancestor of us and chimps is, that was the split. They were like, look, we're going to go in this direction where we build civilization. And the chimps were like, we're going to keep our dick bones. So good luck.
It's like whatever the common ancestor of us and chimps is, that was the split. They were like, look, we're going to go in this direction where we build civilization. And the chimps were like, we're going to keep our dick bones. So good luck.
Well, isn't that... Yeah, it's like the way we feel about crushing on stage is the way Hillary Clinton feels about crushing Libya.
Well, isn't that... Yeah, it's like the way we feel about crushing on stage is the way Hillary Clinton feels about crushing Libya.
Well, isn't that... Yeah, it's like the way we feel about crushing on stage is the way Hillary Clinton feels about crushing Libya.
The CEO of Viagra, as this podcast is out, is in a room somewhere going, they're talking about it on the Joe Rogan Experience, all right? This threatens our entire business model.
The CEO of Viagra, as this podcast is out, is in a room somewhere going, they're talking about it on the Joe Rogan Experience, all right? This threatens our entire business model.
The CEO of Viagra, as this podcast is out, is in a room somewhere going, they're talking about it on the Joe Rogan Experience, all right? This threatens our entire business model.
That might be the thing that drives the collapse. Yeah. Once you get the dick bone, there's no more need for civilization.
That might be the thing that drives the collapse. Yeah. Once you get the dick bone, there's no more need for civilization.
That might be the thing that drives the collapse. Yeah. Once you get the dick bone, there's no more need for civilization.
Okay. All right, I get it.
Okay. All right, I get it.
Okay. All right, I get it.
You're like, that was my third wife, by the way. I'll have a fourth one soon.
You're like, that was my third wife, by the way. I'll have a fourth one soon.
You're like, that was my third wife, by the way. I'll have a fourth one soon.
That's misgendering.
That's misgendering.
That's misgendering.
Wait, the crocodile is scarier than the alligator?
Wait, the crocodile is scarier than the alligator?
Wait, the crocodile is scarier than the alligator?
And what is it that makes them scarier?
And what is it that makes them scarier?
And what is it that makes them scarier?
Some of us are here to learn. We look stupid now because of that dumb-ass question, dude.
Some of us are here to learn. We look stupid now because of that dumb-ass question, dude.
Some of us are here to learn. We look stupid now because of that dumb-ass question, dude.
Jesus. American crocs, it says when I look it up.
Jesus. American crocs, it says when I look it up.
Jesus. American crocs, it says when I look it up.
Yeah, you're doing shit.
Yeah, you're doing shit.
Yeah, you're doing shit.
By the way, step one is always stay calm. Yeah, no. First thing you want to do. Do I play dead? Do I act big? What do I do? Hilarious.
By the way, step one is always stay calm. Yeah, no. First thing you want to do. Do I play dead? Do I act big? What do I do? Hilarious.
By the way, step one is always stay calm. Yeah, no. First thing you want to do. Do I play dead? Do I act big? What do I do? Hilarious.
Don't lions do that shit in Africa, too? Like, they really hunt humans, right? They'll really, like, plan it out and shit. Did you ever see that Val Kilmer movie? They have people whistles. They go, sup, dude?
Don't lions do that shit in Africa, too? Like, they really hunt humans, right? They'll really, like, plan it out and shit. Did you ever see that Val Kilmer movie? They have people whistles. They go, sup, dude?
Don't lions do that shit in Africa, too? Like, they really hunt humans, right? They'll really, like, plan it out and shit. Did you ever see that Val Kilmer movie? They have people whistles. They go, sup, dude?
Who wants some pussy? I got wild pussy in the woods.
Who wants some pussy? I got wild pussy in the woods.
Who wants some pussy? I got wild pussy in the woods.
Are you guys hearing that? I'm going to go check this out real quick.
Are you guys hearing that? I'm going to go check this out real quick.
Are you guys hearing that? I'm going to go check this out real quick.
Well, fellas, we know what we're doing after this.
Well, fellas, we know what we're doing after this.
Well, fellas, we know what we're doing after this.
And no one tells you not to eat the ducks. There's just ducks there.
And no one tells you not to eat the ducks. There's just ducks there.
And no one tells you not to eat the ducks. There's just ducks there.
You did it before, right, Lewis?
You did it before, right, Lewis?
You did it before, right, Lewis?
Yeah, that doesn't sound fun.
Yeah, that doesn't sound fun.
Yeah, that doesn't sound fun.
Do they have a disproportionate control of the fish media? I'm just wondering.
Do they have a disproportionate control of the fish media? I'm just wondering.
Do they have a disproportionate control of the fish media? I'm just wondering.
No, but I want to now.
No, but I want to now.
No, but I want to now.
You ever seen one? No, I don't think so. Pull up a photo. Looks like they've got one right here. Oh, there it is.
You ever seen one? No, I don't think so. Pull up a photo. Looks like they've got one right here. Oh, there it is.
You ever seen one? No, I don't think so. Pull up a photo. Looks like they've got one right here. Oh, there it is.
Is there a video of one of these things like eating a duck? Oh, yeah, for sure.
Is there a video of one of these things like eating a duck? Oh, yeah, for sure.
Is there a video of one of these things like eating a duck? Oh, yeah, for sure.
There are so many rats in New York City, dude.
There are so many rats in New York City, dude.
There are so many rats in New York City, dude.
Yeah, there's not like a guy going down there who's like, everybody hold still, 14, 15.
Yeah, there's not like a guy going down there who's like, everybody hold still, 14, 15.
Yeah, there's not like a guy going down there who's like, everybody hold still, 14, 15.
It said in 1950, the New York City Health Department went back to one-to-one.
It said in 1950, the New York City Health Department went back to one-to-one.
It said in 1950, the New York City Health Department went back to one-to-one.
In the city, and we all lived in the city for years and years, which Jay still does, but every now and then there'll just be a block where there's construction or something like that, like there's something open in the ground, and you just have to walk through it, and you just have to stomp your way through it because there's just rats everywhere. It's the fucking worst, dude.
In the city, and we all lived in the city for years and years, which Jay still does, but every now and then there'll just be a block where there's construction or something like that, like there's something open in the ground, and you just have to walk through it, and you just have to stomp your way through it because there's just rats everywhere. It's the fucking worst, dude.
In the city, and we all lived in the city for years and years, which Jay still does, but every now and then there'll just be a block where there's construction or something like that, like there's something open in the ground, and you just have to walk through it, and you just have to stomp your way through it because there's just rats everywhere. It's the fucking worst, dude.
Right.
That's the one everyone's doing.
The only comedy I don't love at all of the three things, clubs, theaters, is theaters.
Theaters is impersonal from the crowd enough.
Also personal enough that they you could still do bad.
It could turn on you a theater Possibly if you're not the person they're there to see or even if you know, I mean there's like a Nick Swardson thing They were he they turned on him.
Yeah They weren't with him no matter what they did turn on him something about the arena and again Shane's doing an hour at these things which is impressive as hell for the 20 minutes I have to do it's like how could this go bad and
Like, it's just, if anyone's laughing in there, it sounds like a million people laugh.
I've seen it on Kill Tony.
How about when T.I.
got booed at something when he was doing comedy at a big arena?
No, he sure didn't.
Damien Lemon, very, very funny comic.
He did the Hot 97 Summer Jam comedy thing, and they turned on him hard, and when it turns, it turns.
I'm from Philly, and it's one of my favorite lines ever about Philly that is indicative of that town that I love.
He says, Joe Frazier's from here.
who beat Muhammad Ali, no statues to him or nothing, and you have a statue of a fictitious Italian heavyweight.
It's some dude's job that he has to deal with.
That's a classic.
That's great.
Yeah.
I know, that's funny.
He had to quit that tour because everywhere he went then, they would start booing him because they'd be like, do Cleveland now.
Right.
Well, it's a big moment to have in comedy.
There should be something where you could pull over and those rest stops have a thing that sucks your shit out.
I said a few of them, when silence doesn't scare you anymore, or just the moment, I could talk into a microphone, especially for 15 minutes, under any circumstance.
You know, I mean like it'll suck if it's a terrible you got there already booing go out in the very beginning There's no one there, but like I'm not afraid of the moment That's a big thing to get over and that's what you know being scared for the moment Overseas the first time I was like do they even understand English here in England?
Are you a long time guy or do you try to do like when you headline something?
And then something that's blue.
An hour.
Yeah.
I work out in the clubs on the road.
Have to.
Particularly.
Burr said that back in the day.
It's almost preparing for a special, really.
That's the last thing you want to do is be in shit stores.
Did you think there was gonna be, when you opened the club, did you foresee the dissension stuff that happens just within the scene?
Truck stop, yeah.
The people that don't work there, bitching about this for this reason and the people who.
And everyone goes, they got in there because of this and I got in there because of this.
Truck stop shit stores.
They're sucking my shit out outside.
I'm in here buying jerky.
I'm not even saying the booking's like one-dimensional anyway.
I'm just saying that- You can.
Did you even foresee there'd be comics that were going to be eventually like, club sucks anyways.
You stay away from stupid.
I guess it doesn't make its way to you.
They wouldn't be stupid.
What is the path for the young comic in Mothership?
It's blue.
Oh, methylene blue?
Oh, that's right.
But can it be detrimental if you really eat shit on it and you're like a three-year comic?
And splattered the boat with doo-doo from Dave Matthews band.
I genuinely don't know.
It's an interesting thing when I had to do it essentially at Madison Square Garden.
Yeah.
It's an interesting thing to try to whittle down in your head like, what the fuck is up with me?
No, of course.
That's an arena atmosphere, too.
Didn't you see a thing recently where they show like a cruise ship or something just letting shit out of the front?
It's our game to lose.
Yeah, a couple people.
I think someone went right before me.
Yeah, a couple people bombed.
I don't know.
It burns.
I think it's inspiration for like Story Wars, you know, very different show.
It's just the idea of like the live.
You know, Skanks has always been a live show, but the development of Story Wars has been very like... Well, it's also easier when you have a format.
I'll be suckered in a heartbeat by an AI thing.
Oh, yeah.
Do you know that super hot Down syndrome girl isn't real?
Why would you watch this if you don't want to watch the most offensive podcast?
How are you gonna complain about it?
Damn.
That OnlyFans AI Down syndrome girl?
Wait a minute.
Oh, don't I know it.
Also, broadcasting has done something for comedy.
It's pretty amazing.
that I think broadcasters, like the Howard Sterns, had that all the time.
It's very interesting when you meet the people.
They know you, inside and out.
They know the time you told a story about the thing you fear the most, and they know whatever.
I had to get used to stuff like that, where they'd be like, hey, is your daughter picking a college?
And you go, the fuck?
And you're like, oh, I guess I talked about that on the radio this week.
So it's interesting.
Yeah.
No, absolutely.
We found out the hard way.
When we started out, who knew what this was going to happen when we started Legion of Skanks?
We started Legion of Skanks pretty early podcast times.
No, I don't, unless it's about a purse.
Like sometimes it's about people.
And they're like, I didn't mind.
It was funny.
And I was just going like yeah, it's just like she wasn't ready for this moment But I went there didn't say the name on purpose, and there's so many videos on the internet They're like Jay takes a shit on this girl.
It's so hard to tell now.
Weaponizing dinosaurs would be the funniest thing in the world.
Oh, is that fake?
Well, I tell you also that's the smart move I said that Howard Stern did years ago that I'm trying to get better at and do when you think something's ridiculous Praise it and then use it and you could show everybody without having to make fun of it them Do you know I mean?
That's fucking bullshit.
You know what I mean?
People call them sometimes.
Who was the guy years ago you had an argument with?
Again, it's sometimes when vernacular causes the problem.
I feel like at the time you were just in a rhythm of saying the word bitch at the end of a sentence a lot.
And you said something, you go, you're like, come on, bitch.
You can't think that way, bitch.
And he was like, you're calling me a bitch.
You're pulling the shit out of me.
Who was that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Shit, you can call those a bitch all day.
If you're choking me while I jerk off, you can call me whatever you want.
It's not that then.
You think black people are going to let their hair be wet all the time?
I'm no archaeologist, but I am a bitch.
What do you think Atlantis is?
You think they get in the water?
Oh, isn't it the underwater land of Atlantis?
No, no, no.
The lost city of Atlantis?
Yeah, what an idiot, right?
I didn't think that either, Joe.
What were we talking about, the Bahamas?
It starts with a G. It's not one of the letters.
No crime and only three-pointers.
The Kraken's real.
I'm fake.
How weird.
Oh, because everything's wrong then?
I don't know if my Flintstone theory works here, but I think it's a brontosaurus that a man is controlling.
How many miles per hour is that?
G-H.
We were chasing slaves lower.
People show Mussolini.
They go, Mussolini, what a monster.
I go, clean the floor of the Colosseum.
But Gladiator 2 was right, though, right?
Like every time?
Yeah.
God damn, dude.
Well, I've got bad news about the WWF also.
Oh, my God.
Then, you know what?
I might as well pull the Band-Aid off if we're already here.
Wrestling also.
He goes, guys, I'm not afraid of no bullshit-ass lion.
I fuck a lion.
He's right behind me, isn't he?
Well, it was a fucking brutal time to be alive back then, man.
Dude, one in five got to live.
Relax.
One in ten.
Maybe even one in ten.
All over their faces?
Yeah, you ever see those?
Nothing changes today.
There used to be a blimp that would go around the Sixers Stadium and drop coupons for hers potato chips, and I've seen people fall off of balconies for them.
Thank you so much.
Are we officially in the Rogan sphere now?
Yeah, you're in.
Come on, man.
All right, you said it here.
Please watch my specials.
Yes.
One day, both available on YouTube.
You don't need good stories.
I'll tell you all.
It's going to be something that goes, once on an archaeology journey.
Oh, this is Joe.
This is definitely Joe, I think.
I think this one's Joe.
Took out a black bear from a helicopter with a crossbow.
I'm starting to think you and Theo Vaughn aren't two babies talking to each other.
I told a racist street joke on Legion of Skanks 10 years ago, and me saying the N-word has been used in so many memes and little videos.
Pretty great street joke.
It's like Doing the raids are nuts the broke Yeah Well
To protest.
It's fucked up.
Rapists, criminals, slow delivery people, ones that can't dance or play the flamenco guitar.
I've got a list.
I think it's fucking crazy how violent it's gotten.
That's what I mean.
But again, I think all these things, 90% of the people that are there are just like, let's rage, motherfucker.
Yeah, they're saying they're... That's always the bricks.
Piles of bricks are showing up.
You know, there's construction sites around the city.
I lived on a police block.
I was barricaded in with them.
And I felt bad for the black cops.
No, one day there was no bricks.
The black cops would be like...
Sorry, man.
I'm not having my hand on his shoulder.
I'm like, you're going to be all right.
Shoot that motherfucker.
Oh, yeah.
It's crazy.
They had to hide under the overpass.
100%.
I mean, if Lord of the Flies taught us anything, that's how Piggy died.
That's who I relate it to.
I'm thinking of The Good Son where they push the dummy off the overpass.
oh yeah remember make them think they killed somebody it's fucking it's pretty wild what's going on but i mean i don't know like i said everybody running out of like louis vuitton with a bunch of like shirts and shit you've seen that oh yeah oh that's happening too yeah they're looting yeah oh they're looting i didn't know they were looting hardcore and i said it's funny which if i was a 19 year old kid i would be out there looting unquestionably well it's as soon as lawlessness happens people take advantage it's always that's always going to be the case right
That's I think the whole it is fine.
I mean like these cops are just standing though and like under non-stop graffiti It's like murder all cops.
It's like sitting there.
It's like and the people are Some people try to talk reason to them to the cops Like why don't you do the right thing and not shoot me with a rubber bullet?
Dude, it's a real dance bitch moment.
Dance bitch.
It's going to be good promotional for her 2,000-person gangbang she's doing on OnlyFans this summer.
Oh, man, if he broke the middle off, I'd be like, can you give me a longer middle?
Can you put a longer middle back on?
I get extension.
I don't care if it's a different color.
Just try to match it as best you can.
Oh, you think it'd be the first thing?
I don't think they'd have been working that out.
It depends who comes up with the science.
If the Asians come up with the science, that's first thing.
I'm thinking monster cock.
I needed money for bowling.
Oh, great.
I'll be upstairs jerking off with three fingers if anyone needs me alone with no friends.
You just kept having that conversation with yourself.
Yeah.
Come on, bud.
Up until I was a full-fledged adult.
What is it to for humans?
Thank you, Manjaro.
That one, yeah.
He said it wasn't about the guy, and part two was called Evan's Revenge.
Oh, here we go.
Oh, people want to believe.
It was funny.
Somebody asked me, you know, Sean Donnelly and Dan St.
Germain have a podcast now about alien encounters and all that kind of stuff.
Oh, really?
And they both really believe it.
And they were like, what would it take for you to believe, Jay?
I was like, irrefutable evidence?
Yeah.
I have to shake hands with an alien.
The one thing I've never seen, irrefutable evidence.
I grew up in a house of supplements.
Shout out, Manjaro.
My stepfather was a power lifter, so I only know about creatine.
What are those babies called that are born like that?
Yeah.
Do you think, I mean, like someone like Donald Trump can hold in the information?
I don't think they tell him.
He's playing golf.
But who can sit on that information if you know that?
Wouldn't it be terrifying to, you know, it's almost that, to play someone who knows about aliens existing, you think also breaks off and plays golf and decides what they want to have for dinner tonight?
Sick.
Really?
Yeah.
It's like finding out vampires exist.
It would change everything.
That's it.
But how are you not so consumed that you go, hey, you want to start a new Netflix series tonight?
Creatinine was another one that would show up in the house sometimes.
Like, it just seems like you'd be, it's the same way I don't believe people have, like, speaking to the dead powers or psychic powers.
I'm like, you'd be, you know what I mean?
It's never like, oh, what is that?
Tell your loved one that you miss them terribly?
They miss you terribly.
I'm actually, you guys went to McDonald's?
I'll treat myself to some, like, how does your mind go anywhere else but, like, I'd speak to the dead?
That would be consuming.
It's supernatural.
All day talking to somebody about the war of 1776.
You'd just go nuts.
You're looking good, dude.
Creatinine?
Yeah.
What's that?
I don't know.
Well, I've been impressed.
I have someone close to me in my life that's had mania where they go manic.
And I've only seen it twice.
It's Hulk Hogan.
It's Hulk Hogan.
I've only seen it twice, but I mean, I'm blown away by how much your brain can like change functionality in a day, in a day's difference, being like everything's changed.
You know, they're saying things that they've never said before and believing it and being like, you know what I mean?
It's very strange.
No, it was another word.
So you can't be mad at Kurt Metzger.
Big ups, Manjaro.
And nobody believes you.
Yeah, and nobody believes you.
And everyone's kind of like, hey, man, we're just trying to smoke a joint in the green room.
Oh, you didn't know?
Last time I was out in L.A., when he still lived in L.A.,
he came over to the airbnb i was always with kurt i haven't seen kurt always in like months and months between when i get to see him he's one of my oldest closest friends in comedy he's my daughter's godfather you know very close to him which is a crazy choice yeah that's great that's on jay it was a strange choice but he's a good godfather he's a great guy he's great and uh him and my daughter have a great relationship it's fantastic but he is uh a whacker for sure
And he came in to the house.
I was like, my man, it's good to see you.
And he goes, you know, the P. Diddy thing is real.
And that's why Usher, that audio of him fucking that guy was real.
And he got Usher first.
And that's why Usher, remember when Usher was gone for a year because he had to get his asshole sewn back together?
What?
It's nice to see.
Why would I take it?
He does it to everybody.
When he came over, so we had a pool at the Airbnb we were at, and at one point I realized, oh, no, he's had Bobby Kelly in the corner for a while.
And then Bobby Kelly, Kurt goes inside and Bobby swims over and he goes, so I guess the Jew lasers are real.
Thank you.
He goes, I guess Kurt told me those Jew lasers actually are pretty real.
What's going on with them?
But I love it.
I can listen to him all day long.
He's the best podcast guest.
Yeah, yeah.
Don't let the Owen Benjamin.
He's an actual genius.
I say his day-to-day personality is genuinely, I always describe Kurt, he's the first person I see, that price of genius.
Where it's like, he's so great at being funny and his mind works such a thing, but his brain, when you're not talking to him, maybe even when you're talking to him, it's just like a division sign.
It's just formulas.
He's trying to figure something out while you're talking?
I am exercising, too.
You're saying almost just in the basic level of someone his age doing the same action that a girl flopping on her bed on her tummy and kicking her knees up is doing.
Whatever.
Trump's stupid.
He's on the list.
Yeah.
Let them find out in the newspapers.
It doesn't matter.
Just a future reference, if you can make all your acronyms, just say the whole word out so Louis gets it.
Stupid idiot.
Do you enjoy having the burden of information?
Beautiful.
You have to, or it will just be floppy and weird and gross.
Where does your, like, political give a shit stop, really?
Is it too easy to get in, though?
You had a great analogy about the movie theater.
My movie theater analogy is killer.
It's a great analogy.
I said I've snuck into a movie before, sit in an empty seat that no one's taken.
It's not even taking up any kind of space.
If they come in and go, hey, where's your ticket?
I go, I don't have one.
They go, you have to go.
You gotta go man.
I can't you can't be like dude.
I've already watched an hour of it I feel like you should let them finish the movie.
That's a good I'm just saying I might think you shouldn't let I'm saying it's discretion to let them finish the movie or not I'm just making the point to be like This movie theater was built on my people's land It's just to me.
It's just like a weird like
Reaction to getting caught being like well, but I've already been here.
It's like I've got away with it for so long Yeah, it's gonna steal someone's stuff and they find it 20 years later you go.
Sure.
15 minutes, they'll give me anything I want in a needle.
And I was like, this is- You should have fucking paid him more.
That was not my point.
I got PRP treatment in my hair.
I'm not losing my hair.
They just talked me into it.
Now it's never going away.
PRP worked?
I don't know.
We're going to find out.
I just got it like two weeks ago.
It's very interesting.
My ex-wife's, both her parents are immigrants, and you'd be surprised how not, like, sad they feel for people being kicked out.
Jay is a moron.
That's so crazy.
They have a very, like, if... Like, we had to figure out how to do it legally, right?
Or it'll eat your bones.
Yeah, I had to take the shot.
You know, like, why don't you take the shot?
Shit, I didn't have to.
I sought it out so hard.
Did you?
Yeah, Jay was paranoid.
You were so scared?
I was certain I was dying.
Have you ever had the Thailand's Wraps at Cheesecake Factory?
They're great.
I'll risk it.
Are you familiar with this case?
I'm familiar with everything.
I'm a little familiar with everything.
Mildly yeah, I think I interviewed the defendant and the plaintiff.
See, if I was guaranteed that...
I'd go show up.
It's just what you're going to get is like a tax something or a business argument.
Right.
Or some kind of shit.
And that's boring as hell.
Now you have to pretend to be racist to get out of it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You got to get schizophrenia.
I hate, what's the last name of the one guy?
Watkins?
I hate black people.
It's Jeremiah Watkins.
I'm a little too opinionated.
To be, yeah.
I'm a little too opinionated.
The only time I ever showed up, I was wearing jean shorts, and they said, you can't wear shorts.
And I go, what do I do?
They go, you'll go back into the pool and just go home.
And they sent me home.
Nice shorts, idiot.
Get in the pool.
I guess so.
Did they do it here?
Did they still wear those?
I think so.
It's crazy.
And Jewish women, religious Jewish women.
You know where it came from?
And any black woman.
I guess also, yes, it'll eat your bones, they say.
The Whigs?
That's crazy.
So I guess it all dials back.
It's still, it's not the white man's fault.
He's dirty as Indians.
He's dirty Indian sluts.
Yeah, I know.
He wears a mohawk and just glues it to his head.
You should get a hair system, not a toupee.
No, no, no, not an implant.
Just a system.
It's like a different, it's like more permanent toupee.
That's the best.
Brilliant.
Yo.
Not bad.
You only have one kidney.
You shave it, which is a big razor.
I mean, it's better.
Did they also get the gastric bypass, though?
They did.
But I think they paid for it.
What if it cost a kidney to get gastric bypass?
There's fat people that would do that.
Yeah, and it just cost you this?
Here's why it's so cheap.
It's free.
We need a kidney.
Off the dome.
Let's guess.
How big is your circle of give a kidney if they need?
Well, how do you find out how much that your barber doesn't know you but is a big fan of Ralph Barbosa?
Yeah?
That's a very good question.
I think you live life relatively normal.
People do it for loved ones.
I think Mickey Gall told me.
You guys aren't going to find that out.
Is that what you get from your barber?
I'd rather be punched in the face 10 out of 10 times.
But Mickey said when he lost to Diego Sanchez, it was because his kidneys started shutting off.
That's why he bit him.
I bet that is a weight loss thing, though.
That's what he said.
Oh, that picture of her weighing.
Right.
Even in professional fighting?
Her picture of her at the actual weigh-in was scary.
It was like a thumbnail from Crack Whore Confessions.
wild dude that was fun she just folded cyborg i'm like that lady can crack what was the was it silva this last weekend there was a knockout the guy was asleep standing and it was the most softest like turnover yes yeah turnover like chin punch the korean dude yeah young it's like 23 years old it was like he joe sang you he moved
And just, like, it was the smallest little, like, he didn't pull it from the shoulder or nothing.
One of the best left hooks of all time.
The guy was asleep before he hit the ground.
It was crazy.
And he's a kid, right?
He's great.
Very funny, man.
That's the worst feeling in the world.
By the way, I'm not a good enough sport for if I was knocked out and they come over and start doing that thing where they're touching my face a lot and be like, thank you for the opportunity.
I go, get the fuck away from me, dickhead.
A lot of people do.
You fucking jerk off?
I don't want to talk to you.
He goes, hey, will you pray with me?
To who?
A god that hates my guts?
Ha ha ha!
That's so funny.
I'm praying to God this whole training camp.
God just gave me a concussion.
Thanks, God.
Did they?
And he's sending the elevator down.
They want to like you feel like you're getting your money's worth I remember if they're Tyson Holyfield the ear thing mm-hmm I ordered that pay-per-view and I was driving around that night afterwards listen to the radio and people were like Like tons of complaining on sports radio.
I'm real big on taking this stuff and then not really following up with like, you know what I mean?
I'm like you just watched a guy bite a human other man's ear off.
I mean, he's going taking guys on tour that I've never heard of, but I think have been around for a long time.
Yeah, I
Mike is loving it.
Evander Hoyt has no idea what's going on.
He doesn't?
He'd be friends with anybody.
He is Gonski.
Evander Holyfield?
Is he?
Oh, he yells a whisper.
He was on my podcast a few years back.
He was fine.
Back in L.A.
That's great.
It's a cool move.
Yeah.
Very few athletes will ever, I think at this point, I know there's bigger contracts now than ever.
But very few athletes will ever understand the idea of what those guys' lives were like.
Even like Riddick Bowe.
Oh yeah.
Riddick Bowe was champion for like two fights.
You know what I mean?
And he was awesome.
He was awesome, but he didn't have a long run or anything.
And then you see his thing.
It's like 14 acres with white tigers everywhere, and all his clothes are silk.
They were just getting handed $50 million in one night.
I know it's like he trained for that night, but...
That's a crazy amount of money.
No athletes get that anymore.
Nothing like that.
Maybe even boxing still has that with the pay-per-view taken.
Some of these boxers are making pretty fucking nuts.
Yeah, he got popular for... Someone said on George Lopez's show or something, they were like, this guy sucks.
But that sport's the only sport.
UFC.
It's never paid like that, has it?
And his biggest payout was against Khabib for $28.5 million almost.
Or no, George Lopez was like, I don't get it.
He's just whatever.
And then I think he made fun of him back.
Very young, too.
What, are you going to sit them up and say something shitty about her?
And they'll be like, I know her actually really well.
And someone asked Ralph about it on something, and his response, I think, is what made it very popular.
I was a dumb bitch.
Oh, I grew up with her.
If you were going to Pete Rose your own sport, how do you think you would hit good,
Yeah.
Sure.
I think he was just saying, because he doesn't like me, because one of his comments goes like, oh, the lay.
And I think that just, you know, you can show any picture of George Lopez bugging his eyes out and make that hilarious.
America's Got Talent used to give a million dollar prize and then one day they just changed like, you'd just be part of an America's Got Talent show in Vegas.
I think the first few seasons, yeah.
That's hilarious.
It's a fucking good fireback.
I just started doing testosterone from a company that's like, you know, it's above board taking it.
He looked like he might die.
Yeah.
Have you ever gotten to talk to a fighter about the psychology of like...
Once you lose like when you're just like it's dominant force and once you lose like your whole thing changed like Roy Jones Jr.
Was overnight overnight overnight They said that one guy called him out said he was talking about Tarver Tarver said he was ducking him then Antonio Tarver beat him Then Glenn Johnson just beat him knocked him through the ropes It was just like it became like I just beat him But Glenn Johnson knocked him out where it was one of those scary ones where your arms are stiff.
Are you good at living in comedy beefs?
It seemed like it couldn't be real that it was happening.
I'm so terrible at it.
Two fights before that was the fight, I believe, where he's hitting the guy and he tells the ref, he's like, stop the fight.
And then the ref didn't and he hit him a few more times.
Anderson Silva, it's awful wasn't it pretty much Anderson after the leg went in the fight It was just like he never really kept one fight since but he never really captured back like we're just going to watch him We went first UFC we ever went to was 101 and first Griffin racist-ass Philly That night for us in general was just a hilarious thing we went with it was me Dave and Lewis all three of us and
Lewis, you've been in a few where you've gone to bed on, I mean, I guess I have those same beefs too, but I don't engage as much with some people.
This is the first white boy weekend.
First white boy weekend.
We went to like a Oz Fest or Mayhem Fest.
Mayhem Fest, yeah.
And then UFC.
Lewis and Dave brought their friend who I was not getting along with and a girl who- Shout out Crypto West.
Crypto West.
Lewis used to date a girl who became friends with the group sort of and she came with us also.
No one's going to see her.
You don't have to over-explain that you fucked a girl that wasn't super hot.
No, she was really hot.
No, I don't think so.
At first it was just, there was like one or two guys just there.
The other guys were gone.
It's like a coyote trap.
They show you one coyote and the rest of them surround you.
It just turned into like a... I mean, we shouldn't make this up.
We're not looking... None of us are looking for trouble, guys.
The guys were... I think we were talking and saying shit, like being funny.
And I think they kind of were giving us like a...
Why don't you guys shut the fuck up kind of thing?
First one ever in Philadelphia.
They left the nerds behind, and they went and got merch.
No, but I mean like particular, like a person you could put a face to, like a comic.
Oh, boy.
You make the nerds get merch.
We see what we're working with.
We should have just- Oh, higher ground.
We just communally agreed without even looking at each other.
We were like-
These guys, huh?
She said the rest like I can't believe these guys were ready to fight for everything except me when that was the final go to go Oh, well, you should stick up for yourself lady, and then we just like sat there.
Not that I haven't had a problem with somebody before.
She's a big girl She could have helped then we went outside and pretended like we were waiting to find them as a sea of 18,000 people God we did like jerk offs there
But then that was so funny because it was Philly, which historically hilariously racist city.
It was Forrest Griffin, Anderson Silva.
Oh, that one was crazy.
So Forrest Griffin, I mean, the applause, when he came out, the ovation he got, they couldn't wait.
They loved him.
And they literally booed Anderson Silva.
And then Anderson Silva handled that hilariously and quick.
Yeah.
And then when Farris Griffin left immediately, he didn't stay.
But I mean, I don't know, I have a hard time sleeping on like, I'm gonna run into this person every night and we hate each other.
He ran right out of the ring, which was a thing.
And then, you know, they announced the thing.
He goes, you're a winner.
And still, Anderson Silva.
And the place booed.
It was such a sweet moment because Anderson Silva seems like his personality is good.
It seems like.
And they were like booing.
And they had him on the big screen.
And Anderson Silva goes like, he almost had to go, really?
And he's like holding the belt.
And they're like, yeah, all right, you son of a bitch.
That was amazing.
And they cheered for him.
Come on, man.
Strange, but we saw an 18-year-old or 19-year-old John Jones just walking around the arena that night, and I didn't know.
I got into UFC way early.
Me and my step-pop used to get like, you know, ninja versus sumo wrestler UFC.
And then when it got like...
and everyone was trying to start doing actual MMA, I lost track of it, and Lewis and Dave were super into it.
So you guys walking around.
Checked out.
Yeah, where does that?
I you know what I shouldn't say no I didn't know he was going to go to be that kind of big in it The fact that he is great at it doesn't surprise me at all, but it's recalls nuts
It's interesting how like because I said this was just a guy at a time.
I said we smoked pot We essentially raised my daughter of a gay couple during the day My ex-wife would come home and then we head into the city and meet up with Lewis How many times did your ex-wife accuse you of doing gay shit with Dave?
One of the reasons I was able to give while I was leaving when I left was I went in her thing to see if she was, I was like, let's just see if she's cheating also.
The guy that murdered your father?
And I went through her computer and it was nothing about her cheating at all.
It was several times looking up what to do when you find out your husband is gay.
Cheaters getting caught by their significant others, though.
As much as I felt that pain, I love those videos.
Remember that show?
Remember the show, Cheaters?
I've talked to so many people who've worked at Cheaters before and stuff.
I wanted to be the host.
They brought Peter Gunz from Lord Tariq and Peter Gunz, Uptown Baby.
Remember that song?
Yeah.
He became the newest host.
Before him, it was Clark Gable's grandson.
Seriously, it was like Clark Gable III or something.
He died from a drug overdose.
The original guy who hosted was a guy named Tommy Habib.
He was pretty great at it.
Then the little guy got stabbed.
Fake, completely fake.
Of course.
Yeah, he would just smoke on the show and just yell at people.
He's like, all right, so you're a Nazi.
Here's the Jewish Defamation League.
Let's bring him out to fight.
When it's real, it goes bad.
They had the one thing where the guy... It was Jenny Jones that ruined her fucking career completely.
They were like, hey, I'll do the show, but it's not going to be a guy, right, who's into me.
And they were like, no, no, no.
And then it was... It was this... Now, he's friends with two people, a big fat girl and a gay guy.
And the big fat girl was sitting out there.
And he was like, oh, shit.
Okay.
And they go, no, no, it's not her.
And they bring out the guy.
And he says...
He goes, oh, you lied to me.
And his face is real, like, embarrassed.
And he killed the gay guy later.
And that ruined Jenny Jones' career completely.
But like, they're like, you should make sure you monitor your blood all the time.
The math is wrong.
But the place was clean as shit.
No security.
Latina gang fights in every bathroom.
It'd be a good festival.
Have you seen that?
There's a few girls show up for that.
Did you ever see that there's like, I forget, there's some shift in some town where they're a brag.
is like, and this shift is all 100% female police officers.
Like, well, now we know the time and place, dude.
Let's take over this fucking city, dude.
I've been in Waymo twice.
Yeah, dude, an Asian woman driver is the worst.
There's a lot of that in New York City sometimes.
It's crazy, and they are slow, and they do not change lanes, and it is brutal to sit there in the back and not yell.
How rough is England?
That town needs a Mexican uprising, it sounds like.
But you're on the wrong side of the road?
Yeah.
Is that weird?
You're a bad driver on the right side of the road.
Well, I wasn't driving.
As soon as I drive into Canada, right away we've been Canada signs, I'm like, oh, no.
Oh, no.
Here we go.
I still think they're wrong.
Really?
Yeah.
Nah.
Antiquated.
Not in this country, bitch.
I don't follow the Dewey Decimal System either.
Nope.
Suck my dick, old people.
Yeah.
Oh, so is that what is England has miles per hour?
Oh, no, they have it like it's double, but their main thing is definitely kilometers for sure.
Or inches.
I feel like dick is inches in every place.
You think so?
My dick is 36 decimeters.
Just as you guys know.
It's 26,000 kilometers.
And I'm like, yeah, we'll get to that at some point.
I think it was actually like a fucking justice scale with like the person on one side and stones on the other.
I think it's what it comes from.
My father was a bully Conor McGregor's goes well Lewis.
You like being the only circumcised person in a room, you piece of shit.
Do you go and see the places and any of those weird destinations for UFC?
Oh, yeah.
You know?
And you see how New York was, like, designed after it so much.
I don't think you're wrong.
I've never been.
How's it like New York?
I'm going to keep taking it though.
Lewis swore to me today he was going to crowbar an art talk.
I did.
He said in the car, he goes, I bet I can get Joe to talk art.
How about their books?
I said, he's going to think it's gay, and he was like, I bet he doesn't.
Well, what's... You hide in England shit.
No one gives a fuck.
Jay hides his hoodies.
What are they hiding in there?
Salt?
Things for their food?
Tastes good?
It's really close.
Everything I did overseas, I did probably, or most things, I should say, probably a little young in comedy and intimidated myself on the situations that I've gone back.
Because you're poor, so you can't go to a nice restaurant.
That's what we always tell ourselves.
When I was in South Africa, I was wealthy, dude.
Their money is garbage.
But no, I'm telling you, and I've enjoyed some of the places when I've gone to them.
It's just like I am such a regular idiot that I'm just like, I'm not going to understand the food.
And what am I going to plug my stuff into?
Doesn't it explode if it's wrong?
I, yeah, I follow the Kid Rock credo.
Just try to get famous here.
Let's just handle it here.
This is the best place to be famous if you can get famous.
Nobody.
The guy's really figured it out.
Yeah, but that's always, if my dad stuck around, maybe I wouldn't have the personality I have and I wouldn't be where I'm at.
Bud Lite.
Like that fucking the Bud Light stock dropped like a rock like that moment when Kid Rock Guns down the Bud Light Kid Rock maybe though if we were gonna appoint him something It should make the minister of beer like he should be the person deciding what beer we should have I'll accept that because his friendship with the president is hilarious funny and wacky there's been no other thing like that ever and
You never find out like, oh, Bill Clinton and Iverson kick it once in a while.
Right, right.
That never happened.
Oh, Bobby Brown and fucking Joe Biden fucking golf and crush ass together.
Rodman.
So, maybe it would be way better.
Yeah, Dennis Rodman.
It's the best documentary.
Did you ever see that documentary?
No.
Oh, treat yourself as soon as humanly possible to Dennis Rodman's Big Bang in Pyongyang.
It starts off as him going over there believing he's doing something diplomatic.
And then they go, all right, so you're going to go home and gather up some players and come here.
And the documentary filmmaker goes...
on the flight back when they were coming back now to North Korea, he goes, oh, I noticed from the last time that Dennis has started drinking again.
And he was supposed to be like, stop drinking completely.
And then the documentary takes off because it's just Dennis Rodman fucking up in North Korea for two hours.
Maybe I'd be a head of state or something.
So he first comes in drunkenly, starts bowing to everybody.
It's not a bowing culture.
So that's pretty hilarious.
He treats the North Koreans like they're dolls.
He'll grab them and make them come sing karaoke and just points at them while they sing.
He just dominates the room, and everyone's afraid of him, and everyone hates him.
It's one of the best documentaries.
Is there a trailer for a trailer?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, you play basketball?
Kim Jong-un also does not want much to do with Dennis Rodman.
What?
After his meltdown, he stiffs him.
He has Dennis Rodman meet him at his chalet, and then he's not there.
Whoa.
And then it's just Dennis Rodman crying.
Is this the trailer?
All right, Ashton Kutcher.
Do you remember that interview on ESPN?
No.
So they had him and the players that agreed to play go on there, and he loses his mind.
That's the butterfly effect over here.
But in the documentary, they show you the whole buildup to that, which is...
The guy's meeting without Dennis Robin.
They're like, Dennis is a little off his rocker right now, and America's turning on us.
No, not me with any regularity, I think.
We're going to do this interview with CNN while Dennis is asleep, hungover, and we'll just do it, just us, and we'll be able to explain this better, that we're just trying to be diplomatic and do something here.
And then Dennis Robin wakes up and finds out they're doing that.
Oh, my God.
And he just cuts a wrestling promo, and he's just slobber-filled.
Guy watches one movie and all of a sudden he's got to figure it out.
Hey, you guys ever think maybe we're just plugged into a pod somewhere and this is all nothing?
Do you have to let the Koreans win?
When you go over there?
Oh, it didn't matter.
The Koreans, the game was such nonsense.
Like at first it was the Americans versus them.
The Koreans kept up with them because they're good and they're giving a shit and trying.
Dennis Robbins stops playing.
He just changes out of his thing and puts on street clothes and hangs out with Kim Jong-il right away.
And then at halftime he just goes, some people switch jerseys.
And then he goes, so we could play together.
And he just has them play.
He also has the audience try to sing along Happy Birthday to Kim Jong-un when he starts the game, and the audience doesn't know what he's singing.
So they just start clapping too fast while he's singing.
It's really two fantastic hours of television.
I recommend it highly.
I love that kind of just brazen, not seeing what's happening around you.
Everyone's hating him, and he's just like, I'm killing it.
I can't believe how good he's doing.
That's great.
So he doesn't go over there anymore?
No.
Well, I don't think so.
I'm sure he still drinks, though.
You stopped drinking.
How is Protect Our Parks with no drinking?
It was fun.
And you're the only one not drinking there.
Yeah.
But then at some point, aren't you wrangling three people who are blackout drunk?
I try not to track anything that's going to be bad news.
They're like, hey, you should get a sleep study.
He goes, why the no for a fact that I die 27 times a night?
That's the Joe Rogan doctors.
Probably.
I want to know, Joe, who do you send Bert to where they come and they put him in that machine like Luke Skywalker on Hoth and they come out and they're like, if you never eat beans again, you'll live to 105.
Yeah.
I think he wants to take his shirt off and they want it to come off.
100%.
I do too.
I do too.
I love it.
When I did Bert's podcast last time, I was like, stop letting everybody get in your head about like all these complaints are about Bert being the same person that we all are and also who he is.
You should probably do that.
But it's like now it's all of a sudden like, you know, he worries about that shit.
And I'm like, Bert, people want you to take your shirt off.
And they want to hear your stories about your family.
You're letting people.
go like, well, you don't do it like this person.
It's like, well, you don't tell jokes like Mark Norman.
That's not what your thing is.
So it's not a thing to worry about.
They're not healthy.
Yeah.
It's all 30 of his followers.
Right.
They're early on the war of the machines.
I just learned very quickly, though, the ones that I have responded to, even when I respond, my thing was always to respond kind of funny.
I'm not getting into fights.
Or someone would write like a...
two paragraphs about how terrible I am, and I'd be like, you know, come on, Jimbo, you don't mean it.
And then how much they write, I mean, without fail, almost 100% of the time, they're like, dude, just being a piece of shit, man, I had a crappy day, love you, dude, listen every day to whatever.
Well, you meet them in real life.
Trying to stop the Terminator.
Yeah, they did it there.
I know.
He got you.
I steer clear of the comment just because of that.
Yeah.
It's like, I don't know.
I'd rather just meet people.
And if they show up, I guess they're fans.
Skank Fest particularly, it's like, you know, they say how many times in your life have you walked by a murderer?
It's like, how many times does Skank Fest do?
I walk by, take a picture and shake hands with somebody who was like, dude, you used to be good, but you suck dick at comedy now.
All right.
And then becoming great friends with Doug Stanhope after he murdered his mother.
It was pretty funny.
When he got out, he's out, he lives in a halfway house type thing now because it was a mental issue that he did that.
He killed his mom.
Clearly.
Someone I know says they take testosterone and they have to, like, donate blood every month to get blood.
But he had that.
When he called us, he described it.
It was like he thought she was like a demon that he had to stop before she got out in the world.
He went crazy.
Ooh.
Yeah, that's a very... Isn't it funny when they hit the...
With mania and manic shit like that and bipolar with those kind of things, they're a textbook.
If you look it up, because I've looked it up before, you look it up, it's texting one sentence at a time, a newfound thing in religion and being serious about it all of a sudden.
It's always been that way.
And they always have those things.
That's one of them too.
Like everyone's fake.
Right.
Everyone in my life has been replaced with somebody else.
They call it something particularly.
Well, this guy who killed his mom and Doug Stano became friends with, Doug was doing a Zoom skanks one time episode with us, and he had that guy call in.
And we were asking him kind of about what happened, and he gave a very compelling story, and we were saying goodbye to him.
He goes, do you remember this?
He goes, I just want to say...
You know, when I was going through all that horrible stuff and the last several years that have been so difficult and terrible and my family hating me, but I still always, man, I listen to you guys and laugh, and I just want to say that I love you guys.
And I was like, well, I think I speak for the group, and I say, whew.
Because we all are aware of what you'll do if you feel someone is a problem.
Yeah, or a demon.
I've heard that teenagers are going back to smoking regular cigarettes now and getting away from vapes.
Or possibly a demon.
Yeah.
We might move back analog a little bit.
What was really neat, what was funny about that moment was I was with Soder, Dan Soder, and I was like, I was like, you want to come outside?
I'm going to smoke a joint outside.
He goes, yeah, sure.
And as we were just walking through that room, I wasn't even thinking about it.
He goes, oh, you know, we should watch Louie come on real quick.
And I'm like, oh, yeah, sure.
I didn't even overthink of the moment you were about to watch.
It was so crazy.
It was really cool.
I wonder if analog makes some sort of, where it slows down because people want it to slow down a little bit.
If you said it, he'd be like, I never even thought of that for this moment.
A lot of people have.
He's been approached with it.
He's awesome.
I mean, he's a real, like, he's just such a pro.
Well, he does the one-man shows.
Yeah.
Fantastic.
It was also, though, that place was like the shark tank, though, for something.
When they got that fan, I never felt bad for somebody more in my life when they had him on there.
And the only segment that was produced of Tough Crowder, you remember, was the last one.
You had to write and give them like the...
whatever your little rant was going to be about the final topic.
You did it once, right?
I did it once.
I mean, the electric car didn't really take off the way they'd hoped.
Yeah.
About that final topic.
That was the only homework you had to do at all.
And that fan was clearly going to do something about his mother and do the voice or something.
And Patrice, right before he was about to do his fourth segment thing, he goes, hey, let's see if you can do two minutes without doing your mom accent.
Oh, no.
And then Voss and all those guys just started pouncing on him.
And then he just had to go like, hey, you guys.
It was just comics.
Shoot the shit, yeah.
Our generation was having a much harder time.
It wasn't like back in the day when Howard Stern was bringing on comics, all the comics, because that was like his...
crew he was trying to build up like we were past that so we had no there was no like show that was like that for anybody which except for opiate anthony i was ron and fez you remember ron and fez yeah that's the show that kind of like took me in that i uh jobbed with best yeah that was a lot of fun ron bennington's fucking great he's hilarious the best so funny
How about Mark Maron just quitting?
I know, crazy.
He's done.
He's hanging it up.
Hell yeah, dude.
That's what I'm talking about.
I love a good cigar.
Yeah, Stern's thing now is for comics.
Now it has to be.
I know.
Really, it's funny.
I was one of the last people to check out.
Yeah, you liked Stern way too late.
Listen, I still arbitrarily just go to it, and I think he's the best that ever did it.
I give him all the kudos in the world.
None of it.
I give him all the kudos in the world.
It's just I think the...
Like, I don't think... I think his last, like, phase here might be, like... I might be weirdly too young for it.
Like, possibly.
Thank you.
Like, the interviews don't really... These are the Rogan ones.
These are good.
These are good.
The interviews don't really strike me anymore.
I really don't... He's not going to get to anything that I care about with Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's just not going to get... He's... Yeah.
I remember back in the day, he made the guy...
One of those guys who died from LFO.
I've heard that before.
Remember that song from the 90s?
What is that?
Like Chinese food makes me sick.
Girls of Summer.
It's a one hit wonder.
I don't remember it at all.
They were like around the same time as all the boy bands.
And they got pretty popular.
And he made one of those guys so interesting.
He got him to talk about fucking Jennifer Love Hewitt and then her dumping him.
And the way he found out he was dumped, like, she gave him a ring that was like a promise ring from her to him.
And then he saw...
Like a tabloid walking with another guy and the guy had the same exact rate.
That's just her ring.
She gives out She fucking aged like a goddamn plum though.
She put it back on again.
It didn't help a lot.
But I will say, no, she was, Pamela Anderson, first of all, the documentary about her they did on Netflix a couple years back.
Jay loves documentaries.
Jay loves a documentary.
Love them.
The one they did about her on Netflix.
He won't read a book, but he'll watch a documentary all day long.
Books.
Who's got time for books?
But the thing about her made me like her.
The one about Anna Nicole Smith made me realize what a piece of shit she was.
I mean, terrible person, it seemed like.
And then Pam Anderson made me kind of like fall in love with her again, where I'm like, this is a...
She really is just like a dummy who just believes in love.
That's a great idea, Joe.
She's just like a sucker.
There you go.
Let's find a hot one.
I'm going to start getting girls at the fucking charging stations.
That's Dave always, yeah, yeah.
I'll take that.
I'm not gonna put George Clooney through the sweet sensation of sucking Salma Hayek's beautiful foot God she was out in that scene played such a good serial killer in that fucking movie.
I almost rented a Tesla one.
That was great I just watched it like two weeks ago ago.
I prefer black dusk till dawn called sinners I don't think that's enough of a social comment.
Is it politicized?
I love a good vampire movie.
Kind of, yeah.
It had to be a comedy?
Yeah, dude.
No, but it's like a... No, Blackula wasn't a comedy.
It's an exploitation, right?
Kind of.
But it's supposed to be ridiculous.
Do you know that guy?
Just a black vampire.
Do you know Blackula?
Have you ever driven a Tesla?
Yeah, there it is.
Blackula, I found this out from that Pee Wee Herman documentary.
Blackula was the mailman on Pee Wee's Playhouse.
For real?
Yeah.
Really?
Isn't that weird?
Died hating him.
He hated Pee Wee Herman when he died.
No.
A Tesla dock slot?
Yeah.
What makes you say that?
That's a thing in the documentary.
Phil Hartman did an interview with Howard Stern.
Howard Stern asked him about that, and he was like, yeah, we don't speak anymore.
He thought he didn't get enough credit, I think, for Pee Wee's Big Adventure and shit.
Have you ever driven one?
Pee Wee Herman was a real bitchy queen, but very interesting.
Nah, dude.
Ask his wife.
Andy Dick there was the problem.
From the 70s.
Don't trust that electric shit.
It's more just like sad what he's going through now.
But he also just gets like, he's one of those guys like letting himself get used by people, I assume for drugs or something.
But I mean like.
I don't know.
Because he ends up on these like weird pods where it's like he's sleeping at some guy's house or something weird.
Yeah.
He's out of it.
And he was right there on the precipice with jury duty.
Pauly Shore's vehicle, jury duty.
right he did other stuff too man he did that that fucking war movie what was the war movie they did oh in the army now that's right yeah yeah i think that's the one he did i don't know if he may have done another one or two of them they may have been trying to farley spade them farley spade them together funny dude though
Do you have hopes for Happy Gilmore 2?
Could it possibly be good?
Yeah.
Really?
Adam Sandler still makes good stuff.
He still makes good stuff.
Jack and Jill.
They put music numbers in it.
Oh, I thought Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice people loved.
I didn't like that.
Same thing.
I thought it was like.
You can't capture that first one.
Did you?
I think you can get there.
It's just then you have to charge it.
I didn't know Tim Burton made the first Pee Wee's Big Adventure.
Did he really?
His first Tim Burton movie.
Large Marge.
I didn't even know that.
That sounded weird.
Pee-wee's Playhouse was meant to be like... One of these bikes was for sale recently.
The whole thing was always to have nods for adults in it.
Big Top Pee-wee, he tried to do it himself and that's why that did terribly.
Because again, there's jokes no one gets.
I forgot this.
I saw it once when it first came out.
Never saw it again.
He's got a...
Makeout scene with somebody that just goes on for like five straight.
They just never stop That's funny having to make out and just keep panning further and further backwards like five and in the middle of the movie Five minutes.
I'm just like hardcore making out with the chick Well, I mean when I was older I think I would have gotten I said six he had such like
He said a lot of Andy Warhol-inspired stuff in reference.
There was an episode of Pee-Wee's Big Adventure or Pee-Wee's Playhouse where he said two minutes he just put dog food in a bowl and it was just like ASMR, a close-up of a dog just eating the food for like two straight minutes, which that would have weirded me out when I was a kid.
Yeah.
Where are you supposed to jerk off?
What are you supposed to do?
That didn't ruin him.
That didn't ruin him the way he thought like that.
In fact, I thought it was interesting.
When he did his first comeback, was that Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie?
And he asked him to make his character look like his mugshot.
That's why he looks like that.
No, the show was already done.
Okay.
Show was already done.
No, he came back.
He had a career.
Derek for real.
But after that, what took him down was, because I thought you were saying he got caught up in the biggest bullshit.
He was caught up in that sweep that got Jeffrey Jones.
What's that?
That was the principal from Ferris Bueller.
That guy got nailed with actual child pornography.
Oh.
And Pee Wee Herman's friends with him, so they went and searched Pee Wee's house, and what they found, he's a collector.
He's like a crazy collector.
Yeah.
A bunch of naked kids inside of it.
No, you don't understand.
I don't fuck with me.
It eats them.
No, he had, like, erotica from, like, the 70s in collections that was, like, and everyone was above age, but it just, like, it was considered obscene material.
Oh, no.
When they went to his house.
California, I believe.
He got nailed with obscene material charges, but he was lumped in with, like, pedophilia.
What is it?
To pose for photographs?
They didn't even put that in the documentary.
Look at Jay defending an actual pedophile.
I'm just saying he was a good guy.
You got to take care of those documentaries.
Joe, the first time we did your podcast when you showed us all of your cool toys in your L.A.
studio, I would have sucked your dick to do one of those things.
I've told this story so many times on podcasts.
That's the first time we came here.
It ends so great.
Because me, Dave, and Louis all came in in L.A., and you took us first, and you go, check this out.
And you grabbed a compound bow, and you had the laser sight, and you could shoot it all the way across the full UFC gym you had.
We're like, we can't wait until we can do this.
Then you put the bow down, as I was reaching for it, I thought.
And then you went over, you go, this is the pool table.
You broke a rack and sunk a few.
Like, cool.
Then you open the door, and you're like, here's where I freeze myself.
Here's where I thaw myself out.
And we're like, wow.
And then you go, and here's my prize possession.
And you had the, they do it for golf and stuff too, like the Kevlar screen hunting.
Yeah.
And you had the flat tip.
But I go, he probably wants us to do this one because it's the flat tips.
No one's going to get hurt.
And then you fucking wailed to elk.
And then you go, let's go podcast, boys.
He just showed us all the toys and was like, don't touch them, please.
We're going to embarrass ourselves.
We would have embarrassed ourselves big, but then we always say how much Dave Smith came on, talks with you after that individually.
Me and Louis were like, why doesn't Joe embrace us the way he embraces Dave?
And then someone brought up the first picture we ever took here.
It's so funny.
It's the werewolf.
I am standing behind the werewolf like I'm fucking it.
I'm getting sucked off.
Lewis is acting like he's getting sucked off by the bear.
And Dave is just leaning in, touching it, going.
I'm like, oh, you know what?
Yeah.
Is Dave in the Rogan sphere?
We're trying to figure out how we get in the Rogan sphere.
We're team Trump then, not Elon?
So he's back in the sphere.
Fuck.
Come on, bro.
Every time the Rogan sphere gets talked about, we never get a thing.
When Cat Williams said six unfunny comics.
We knew it wasn't us.
I knew it wasn't us.
Fuck Elon Musk.
I'm not gonna lie.
I need subtitles for it, but I Don't know what he's saying.
Oh, I always see him on Worldstar.
Like he's been to a track.
On Worldstar Hip Hop, he beats like pro athletes in races and shit all the time.
I believe it.
It's very weird.
To unthicken their blood.
Yeah, I believe it.
And he talks about it.
And he still, what's funny is he also dresses though like the old black guy who comes to play basketball.
So it looks like he's not going to be that good.
And then he's like fast as shit.
Do you remember that?
He did.
Also, if you blow a tire, like, Tesla has to come fix that.
If he was driving Uber, he'd be making a personal phone call right now.
Yeah.
I do believe in full, when I did Bert's tour, one of the things we performed at a racetrack, and they had the pace car, it was like a convertible, and they took us all for like a couple loops, like individually, one at a time, they wanted us to film it,
I don't know.
Mine was so boring because I was like smiling it was exhilarating the whole time But they were like you know Burt's giving them and people are going like no no no no no like the corners are coming And they were like you didn't freak out at all I go I just had blind trust they're not gonna kill us Like right like are they gonna put us in real like are we gonna start cartwheeling down the fucking road here?
But, like, they have to come handle it.
This I assume they're not gonna do anything.
I should have overreacted.
I can't scream at that.
Remember when the first time you guys did my nails on the show?
I freaked out about touching my cuticles.
Well, now you have to once it's got done.
Every other week.
Louis, I'm not a diva.
Oh, no, no, no.
Not like that.
No, it's more like connected to.
Somehow gayer.
No, it's a gayer thing.
No, it's connected to I bit my nails forever, got my teeth fixed, can't bite my nails anymore.
They grew in raggedy.
I tried to take care of them myself and was just terrible at it.
They got my nails on the show one time.
I didn't scream.
It was more like that pull away.
I did not enjoy it.
Yeah, and then it became a thing where every week after that he came in with a new color nails every other week But it's the keep saying every week.
I'm not a gay man No, but once they were done then yeah once you can't really undo it.
I don't know what to do now I can't take care of him that good myself.
I can't make him look like that.
Yeah Louis you chose to have nipple rings to connect
I can't believe you actually had one.
I was kidding.
No, no.
I had a nipple ring.
I had a lip ring.
I had an eyebrow ring.
Isn't the funniest thing?
You had all those things when you're like now.
My body sucked?
Yeah, yeah.
You never had a nipple ring?
You never had a nipple ring with pecs?
The end of your tit?
Why'd you get it done?
I was young.
I was surprised, though.
I kept from being fat my whole life also.
I kept my tattoos always to arms.
I never did ones that I would have to take my shirt off for people to see.
Yeah, I wouldn't do a stomach tattoo.
No, but you had like here.
I know, isn't that ironic for a guy who owns a company and has a thousand friends and collaborates with people and everything he does?
He's on his own.
Well, he says on this side, a coattail rider.
In the 90-something thousands of subscribers because they just start reviewing it then.
They're like, no, no way.
Corey opened his podcast I was listening to the other day, and I was like, how is this?
He's so funny.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, don't do it.
Oh, dude.
Abortion, too.
So we could do that abortion now on the air.
We've been putting that bit off for years.
That would be a great bit.
Cabo Comedy Festival?
Was she?
No.
You've hooked up with a couple of hilarious ones.
Old ladies?
Yeah, just like, I think on Shiprock one year, you hooked up with a fucking doozy.
It's like, come to my cabin.
Jesus.
You're a little bit locked in on a cruise, especially a heavy metal cruise.
A heavy metal from the 90s.
There's no hot chicks on those cruises.
A heavy metal cruise.
Yeah, we did a thing called Shiprock.
Shiprock, I've done it a bunch.
For Lewis, where's the Black Sea?
Because I see his eyes are crossing.
I've done those cruise ships enough to be like, if you go off that boat, you're as good as dead.
There's more death by fire a year or by sea?
It's insane, dude.
The worst part of that for me is that if I fell off, I'm holding onto a donut and hearing the sounds of Tesla slowly slink away.
Oh, they're doing acoustic signs?
Shit!
Take pictures, you bitch!
This man's health company saw me coming down the road a mile away.
Is that just the wire, or is that how they get people over sometimes?
There's people sometimes in those cargo things?
No, that's not cocaine.
That'll work too.
Do you get rid of them because it's time?
It's a lease.
I get a lease.
So you get a new one, yeah.
Okay, so it's not like, you're not like, shit, this thing's starting to...
When do they peter out?
What's the death of a Tesla?
I'm wondering about the miles things.
That's what I'm saying.
I remember when I was a kid, and you remember this too, they would say, oh, Hondas are the best because you can get 200-some thousand miles, 300,000 miles.
I don't think that even exists anymore that a car is supposed to.
I got a Ram and a Jeep, America.
Rub your face with it.
And we laugh at Toyota Tacomas.
Get that little stupid rice burner out of here.
That fender was going, dude.
That fender was softened up by all the other fender benders.
And it lasts for like five minutes.
The ice washer you keep in your car.
Well, most of that was to take off the airbrushing you put on the side, you Puerto Rican dumbass.
That's fucked.
That'd be great.
Mercedes s-class you're here order it for me.
Chicks are gonna love that.
2019's not even what I'm talking about.
Can you get a 1997 Mustang and then somehow get a new that kind of motor in it?
Oh, 100%.
No computer, none of that shit in it, just like the one you could fix yourself?
Brand new.
They offered me.
Yeah, the new ones.
I used to have a Grand Cherokee that when I got out of the car, sometimes to start it, I learned I had to get a hammer and hit a certain part of the engine, and then it would start.
I think it was the starter, possibly, if you had to clank it.
And it did start.
Why don't you just get a new starter?
Why are you hitting it with a hammer?
This is way back.
Way back in the day, too.
So I got the car from... It was one of those, like... What do you call it?
The auctions.
You know, they repoed cars and shit like that.
So it was a piece of shit.
But I would clank and get it to start.
There's just nothing... When you open up...
You could have a car for a year at this point, a brand new car, and open it up, and it looks brand new because it's barely engine parts.
Right.
It's mostly computers.
It's like a big plastic covering over a computer, essentially.
Right.
When you bring it in and go, hey, it's having a problem, they go...
Did the light go?
This happened to me last.
The light went away.
So the light's not on anymore, but it was there.
They could plug it in and find that there was a light that came on at some point, but they can't do anything to it if it's not happening.
You know what I mean?
There's not a thing where it's like there's this clicking.
It's probably a belt.
Those days are over, I think.
I think so.
Hmm.
It's the dealership.
I think that's what you have to do with everything now.
It's no more like, we knew our, my mom, Chuck and Larry, no, not Chuck and Larry, that's the gay guys that got married.
I'm taking two peptides.
Chuck and Al were like, my mom's too like, now I think about it too, she probably fucked Chuck or Al.
Probably both of them, your mom?
My mom really threw the puss around to make sure we had what we needed when we were younger.
Not like in a prostitution way.
Yeah, it was a good lady.
But Chuck and Al was always our car mechanics, like for our car.
They can't even be in business anymore with cars now.
but not enough for the amount of auto shops there are.
I think Jimmy Butler, the athlete, does that.
I'll tell you, Post Malone showed up to a Shane show in a fucking muddy, shitty, big tires truck, and I believed him.
Yeah.
Does that make sense?
When he got out of it, I was like, this is his thing.
But he's also got a Lamborghini and a fucking, he's probably got a whole, you know.
Well, it depends if he's hanging out with his country friends or his black rap friends.
And I don't even know.
You look like a jerk-off, though, if you bought the novelty car of the time.
Anyone is still rocking a fucking...
One of those like Union Jack little like Mini Coopers or something.
You'll be an asshole.
A Fiat, you'll be an asshole.
Do you remember the PT Cruiser in the early 2000s, late 90s where they were like, hey, everyone likes that ZZ Top car.
Let's make a very cheap version of that.
It was such a piece of shit.
I think two companies ended up making it.
Oh, really?
I think it switched at one point from, like, Dodge to something, yeah.
Remember the Yugo?
It's so weird.
Yeah.
Yugos?
Or a Datsun.
It's amazing how many cars I've been in that are now defunct.
They don't even make them anymore.
Mercury, Sables, and shit like that.
But I have no trust or belief in a brand new car that comes out.
Also a mother and a wonderful producer.
I trust Hyundai now.
Do not trust Kia.
Hasn't been long enough for some reason.
I don't know why that one sticks with Genesis.
Oh, because Lexus is Toyota.
Yeah, I knew that from delivering auto parts.
What did you take your driver's test in?
We started.
I was in a stick shift Chevette.
My mom's white stick shift Chevette.
It is one of those feelings, though, where you're like, even my daughter, I'm like, it's a good skill to have, driving stick, and then she'll never be in a world where it will ever be.
Most likely.
Yeah, that's gone.
Yeah, if I had the money, I would get something.
That's why I said I asked about if you can do a new engine in a car.
You have money.
There's so many cars I missed.
Not the same way your mom did, though.
Not that way.
Not that way.
Well, if I could.
Do you have a car, Louis?
It's usually something from your childhood.
My dream car?
Maybe the dream changes.
When I was a kid- Jaguar, the one with the actual hood ornament that was a Jaguar?
Sure.
Early 90s?
When I was young, the one that like the cool kids had that you're like, damn, I wish I had that was that boxy looking Mustang 5.0.
oh that was the one with the vanilla ice one the convertible yeah that's the exact one everyone they put my 5.0 rims on it and the convertible and that one just that was the one that was but talk about it changing when i was a little kid this was one of the most hurtful fat comments ever in my life um when i was like dude when i get older i want to get a mazda miata i think that's gonna be a fucking roller skate on your fat body i was like okay
Well, I guess I'll get past the Miata.
And now sometimes you see one on the road still, and I still go, damn, it's pretty cool looking.
You know how potheads want to smell weed.
Why even ask me?
She cried.
When we were down at a Nashville comedy festival, there was a guy who used to work at the club who pulled up in a gold and blue Lamborghini.
It was a 30-minute problem.
And it was just like the colors were crazy and it had some writing on it.
And we were so curious about it.
He won it in a sweepstakes.
He actually won a Lamborghini in a sweepstakes.
The Miata?
I mean... It's just the front.
She said the word why a lot.
It was like when Nancy, remember Nancy Kerrigan got her slugged out by, she's like, why?
I think he was hugging the corners.
F1's really, like, right in the streets of a town.
They did it in Canada.
In Montreal.
I think one year the festival was there.
It was like they were preparing for F1.
Is that the place?
I think I did one of those rock fests there backstage or oddball tour.
I sweat blood for you.
Is that the one that has the overlook?
thing behind it, the F1 track?
Yes.
That's one of the, let's talk about getting over a fear in one day where I've never felt so.
It's got a overlook thing.
You take one floor elevator, just goes right up to the top of that.
Half of it's concrete, half of it's glass.
Very thick glass.
I flew here to help you produce a show.
But I've never had this happen before.
When I got up there the first time,
I was gung-ho to walk out over that glass and go.
When I got to the glass part.
Yeah.
But it was concrete.
When I got to the glass part, I almost fell forward because my legs stopped.
Like my legs stopped moving.
Like my body shut down.
Be like, no, no, no, no, no.
We're not ready for this.
I am terrified.
Yeah, there it is, dude.
That's fucking.
And by the way, they didn't have.
I don't think those red things were there when I was there.
To the top of some building and they have a thing where it's like they have yours you're like connected to a line But you remember the thief sheriff showed so you could take a picture and
Something in New York where your feet are on the building and you're hanging off it over New York City.
Yeah, fuck that.
Crazy.
Fuck that.
But I'm not like... Just for a thrill.
I maybe could have gotten talking to Skydiving Young.
Not a chance.
I've had some people try to talk me into it as an adult.
Bunch jumping?
Fuck you.
If my daughter's got to tell the fucking story... If my daughter's got to tell the story of her dad dying in a fucking...
A wingsuit or something.
Jerk off.
Just didn't open.
That was a... There was a great... It happens.
There was a thing called McCloskey on Netflix years ago.
Was it a documentary?
It was, in fact, a documentary.
About a... About a snowboarder guy.
He was like an extreme sports guy.
Funny-er.
And he died because he...
He, like, base jumped into a national park.
And when he landed, he was being chased by the rangers and the cops to arrest him.
And he went in the water with his parachute and everything, got caught up and died.
I think he drowned in the water, I believe.
Then they did a thing on the news.
They were doing like a base jumping, you know, for this guy, like in memorial of him.
It was a demonstration.
It was like it shouldn't be illegal.
So what they were doing was people were jumping, parachuting down, and when they landed, it was almost like organized, the cops would then arrest them.
They were all getting arrested for doing it, but that was their protest that we're all going to do it.
You're going to have to arrest us all.
And then while they're doing all that, just in the background, you just see someone go.
Just like way in the background.
Oh, God.
It's like, yes, this is why this is stupid.
How do cars not go off like up in the canyons in the ballet every year?
Like tons of them.
They do.
He went off one of those cliffs?
That's crazy.
That's the most two in ten moment in my life when I'm going over those, like through the Hollywood Hills.
Yeah.
I mean, it's crazy that you're able to drive that close to like certain death.
Yeah.
Fucking dumb other countries.
It's amazing all the years of driving for comedy and how long I've driven.
He's just rattled off conspiracy theories.
Never seen a falling rock once.
That is amazing.
Since this falling rock, never seen a falling rock any time ever.
I've only seen it on the internet.
Never hit a deer?
That's crazy.
I was on a tour bus that hit a deer once.
That was pretty gnarly.
Oh, yeah.
I thought you meant with your foot when you killed them both with your foot.
Pretty girls being embarrassed, though, is funny as shit.
Oh, it's hilarious.
Piece of shit.
What a piece of shit, dude.
Come on, they're just here trying to live the American dream, dude.
It is the most evening factor ever.
I'm taking two peptides that feel like fire.
They did, actually.
I did a, when I was on tour with the bands years ago, Korn did a Jägermeister music tour.
Pushing himself with one leg and should have glued there You should have glued their hands to their genitals and then hung them from something a big Oh another auto erotic asphyxiation gone wrong Great the guy from in excess David Carradine now these rabbits so either lived or a hawk came and got him eventually but do you think that some of those auto asphyxiation guys were murdered and they were set up to be humiliated and look that way I
No, I think, yeah, do you see now they try to take the jerking off part away from all those stories.
Really?
Yeah.
They always had the Jaeger girls would hang out, and I was on the Jägermeister production bus on this tour.
None.
No, I'm going to have my own documentary.
Soundgarden, jerked off to death.
Linkin Park, jerked off to death.
Anyone who hangs himself.
Yes.
This is Jay's theory that he thinks everyone.
Is it a theory?
It's a strong theory.
Yes.
Oh.
To be clear, we're bringing the news here.
There's no evidence.
There's no evidence.
You don't hang yourself from a fucking doorknob that low when you're not trying to... They flash knockout while they're doing it, and then they just die because they're being choked.
100%?
They pass out.
That's it.
Yes.
100%.
You heard it here first.
I don't think... And Linkin Park.
Robin Williams?
Robin Williams, they said, put a note.
But again, I think now the...
Since Michael Hutchins from NXS famously did that and David Carradine, that was news.
That made news they died from that.
How good could it possibly feel?
Do you get choked during sex?
I've had people call in.
I've heard people call in.
It's probably pretty good, dude.
People say it mimics, a lot of times former addicts do it because it mimics the feeling of the high of heroin.
So the girls would all come on there.
That's what they said.
But that's just people who've called in.
to say that who knows but because Michael Hutchinson and David it's like the first when you think of their name before you think of even in excess or any of the songs you're like oh yeah he died jerking off David Carradine all those movies died jerking off so now they'd rather have you think they were just depressed and going through it than saying that because that's all you're going to be known for now right it's probably see the theory it's not a bad theory if the family can hide that information like it's important that he was jerking off he killed himself
They would come and hang out and drink for free on the bus.
And you know tour buses, you're not allowed to shit on a tour bus.
He roamed the earth bringing HPV to foreign lands.
And only one of the Yeager girls asked if she could use the bathroom.
It was just in the time we were there.
And she went, gorgeous girl.
You need a really cool friend.
How are you doing that?
And she came back out and she was sitting down.
One-inch punch.
One-inch punch, dude.
It started getting carried away.
He's giving his wiener the old five-finger death punch.
And then the driver comes to start getting the bus ready to leave.
That's the weirder thing.
I never saw that before.
Those hands were above his head?
That sounds like somebody walked away.
It feels like fire when I inject them.
Well, it's one of those things.
He might have gotten carried away, and somebody just left because they were like, whoop, he's dead.
So she just fucking booted out of there.
Not like Linkin Park and Soundgarden, who were just jerking to each other's music.
I don't.
And just, you know, a toothless fucking road dog just comes in the bus and you go, somebody took a shit.
But who hangs?
There's so many faster ways to take care of the situation.
You need cord.
How about the guy that-
That was the fucking Richard Jennings thing.
And then choke yourself.
He missed.
Yeah, he missed.
And died later.
Yeah, he died in the hospital.
And everybody knew it was his hot chicken fishnets.
Richard Jennings takes his life.
Dave Coulier never even tried to take
Rich Jenny was funny.
He did.
Yeah, he got close with the mask, and they said it just made him more bummed.
Really?
it's crazy because he's like to us all the comics back then he was the guy you know he was well he was on all those shows were you doing comedy at a time did you do you have performances on like a-list and uh stand-up spotlight or vh1 i did a bunch of those things yeah i did a bunch of those caroline's comedy hours yeah i did that i did um half hour comedy hour
And I mean, just the thing, she was so beautiful that me, probably my heaviest in my life, I was like, I probably could get her now.
VH1 did one of those with Rosie O'Donnell kind of hosted them or something.
Yep, yep, yep.
It seemed like it was a pretty fun time in comedy.
Comedy was pretty polluted with like a lot of same old, same old.
Yeah.
At the time, but I mean like what a time to kind of like... That's why it was funny when I was opening for Dave Attell those years, he couldn't...
Get a grasp on the change that I was experiencing.
Because he was kind of like, after three years, you want to go with me to this club again?
And I'd go, absolutely.
And he'd go, aren't you headlining this place yet?
And it's like, it doesn't work like that anymore.
Because he's from a time where they said, if you've got an hour of comedy together, then you tour.
That's what they'd say.
Well, Dave was way ahead of his time.
You tour that hour of comedy.
He goes, you can't just do that.
You need a place to book you.
Yeah.
He was very prolific.
No, no, no, for sure.
I'm saying he didn't get that, like, the change that now you have to be able to sell tickets.
to get booked places first.
What are they?
She's the shit girl.
It wasn't just like, well, you're one of the comics who has an hour in the country.
There was a time when it was that.
It was like these guys just, I think it was like the two coasts really was all of it.
No one's seeking her out.
You know what I mean?
And then the internet, I think, really opened it up to the rest of the country and it's like saturation now.
We saw him last time.
San Fran Punchline, Stress Factory are maybe two of the only clubs that really – I know there's more.
Oh, the Providence Comedy Connection.
Let me go there and have enjoyed watching it be like giving me a couple hundred dollars for a weekend to change over the years.
Yeah.
Right.
But places got afraid.
I remember that.
That hurts so much.
I opened for Steve-O when he first started doing comedy stand-by before me.
And I'd done DC Improv with the Tell and stuff before.
And I did that weekend.
And I hate when you go hat in hand to places and you get bad news.
I remember going to the booker there.
Who was like someone who's like so friendly to me now and she's great, you know, but like it was so her I go Hey, just now I'd love to come back and headline.
Are you looking an off weekend ones?
People don't want to do 4th of July Thanksgiving whatever and she goes yeah, I'd love to but you don't sell any tickets So it's all about selling tickets and she's gonna laid it out like that And I thought I was I was like, well, how do you I didn't know how to start making that happen It's pretty when we started like Legion of Skanks and stuff podcasting sort of created an opportunity for comics to the best and
Yeah, build an audience.
I don't know.
Well, the BPC-157.
Everyone also gets mad too at what the thing is besides stand-up that makes it happen, whether it's podcasts, internet videos.
I've learned also to stop having that because people get too much wrapped into that.
Ever.
Like, there's a social media comic or there's a whatever.
It goes...
Buddy, I don't know.
My ex-wife does comedy, and people ask me, like, are you mad that she does comedy?
Like, I can't judge why anybody gets involved in it.
I got involved because somebody suggested it to me.
To care.
Like, who gives a fuck?
It's like, why did you do it?
Oh, because I was having funny tweets, so I figured I'd give it a shot.
Like, okay.
That seems like a good enough reason as anybody else starts.
I hope something happens eventually People get mad because I think there is a path now to making money very quick and people are doing it and so it's that right It's the Howard Stern used to shit on but it was that our famous thing with him and Ari Shake on the idea of podcasts, but when people were shitty about that I always understood his anger at least I don't agree with it But I understand when he did the well his anger makes sense because he was already super famous
No, but his argument was saying, I had to do AM shift, 2 AM to 6 AM in this shitty town, and I had to do this, and I played music until they realized it would be better to let me talk 10 years later.
And he went through all that.
It's just like, well, you could flip on a switch, and if you have an audience already or are connected to somebody who has an audience, you're doing it already.
You're just doing it now.
I don't know why it can't be.
Podcast doesn't have to be.
I'm sure there's something that can be done.
It do feel as interesting watching, I wonder if this happens with every generation, the comedy dollar gets stretched though, because it is kind of funny, not that it necessarily hurt, I think now with having these, I'm opening for Shane at some of these arenas and stuff, it's amazing, he's getting like 18, 20 some thousand people into these places,
It seems like it should be done.
and doing it, one, that's very difficult to think of new jokes when you're doing comedy like that all the time.
Well, you do clubs.
For sure.
No, I do clubs.
You have to.
No, but I mean you have to.
Shane will do clubs also.
Oh, no, for sure.
Of course.
I think they're just being lazy.
I'm just saying a ticket to see someone in an arena, before they'd be able to see everyone they loved was coming through the improv or whatever, and then a couple were doing theaters.
Like now it's like it's a fucking night out at like a sporting event to go see comedy where it's like They might not have the money next week to go see me or Lewis at a club.
I went to Key West for supposed to be 10 days. Yeah, and I was there a year and a half.
I went to Key West for supposed to be 10 days. Yeah, and I was there a year and a half.
I went to Key West for supposed to be 10 days. Yeah, and I was there a year and a half.
It was insane. I stayed at a resort on the beach for a year and a half. And it cost, I heard, a million dollars. I don't think it was a million, but it was a lot of money.
It was insane. I stayed at a resort on the beach for a year and a half. And it cost, I heard, a million dollars. I don't think it was a million, but it was a lot of money.
It was insane. I stayed at a resort on the beach for a year and a half. And it cost, I heard, a million dollars. I don't think it was a million, but it was a lot of money.
I mean, it was definitely probably half a mil for sure. I feel like it was more than that. It might have been. I kind of don't want to know.
I mean, it was definitely probably half a mil for sure. I feel like it was more than that. It might have been. I kind of don't want to know.
I mean, it was definitely probably half a mil for sure. I feel like it was more than that. It might have been. I kind of don't want to know.
Some, I was like, I was Mr. Olympian, 1938.
Some, I was like, I was Mr. Olympian, 1938.
Some, I was like, I was Mr. Olympian, 1938.