Lisa Gilroy
Appearances
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Move on. That's actually exactly what she said. I know. Do you guys have some sort of horn sound or something you can play?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
That's right, welcome everyone to the Friendship Championships. Today I have Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino, and we are going to absolutely test them on years of friendship. Now, I've spoken to the boys ahead of time, and I've gotten their answers to these questions. It's a bit of a newlywed game, all right? First question is for you, Bobby.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Andrew once described your head as looking like what? A, a dead kid's head. Yeah. B, a toilet covered in piss.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Now, Bobby once described your head as a A, penis, B, a boil, or C, a woman's head.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
I'll give you a character. Yeah, yeah. One of the cars from Cars, but it's broken and it's a bus, but it's a little tiny bus that only a shrimp can see.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
And for the final round. Final round. Final round. Woo! Wow. Exactly. Okay. This question is for Bobby. If Santino grew up with you and was a little boy with you when you were both growing up as little boys, what would he do every day? This is an open-ended question.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Santino, this one's for Bobby, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, Santino, look at me. You can have a turn next. Sorry. Vroom, vroom. That's really good. Pretty good? Yeah.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
I love that. I always wanted a brother. Yeah, yeah. You know what I would do with you, Bobby?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
I would get a soccer ball and I would knock on your door and ask you if you wanted to kick it around in the backyard.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
And then I'd say, I'm getting bullied at school. And you're the only one I trust. Thanks for spending this time with me.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Okay. Yours is, okay, okay, okay. Okay. A guy who's like middle-aged, who's a podcaster who lives in LA.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Yeah, that's so true. Mr. Batman, on the last day of school, he gave me a Blues Brothers poster because I was really into the Blues Brothers.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
And I was so excited. It was like at the beginning of the last class. And he was like, you know, you're a crazy kid. Here's a poster. And then by the end of class, he was like, I got to take that poster away from you because you're talking so much. It became a punishment immediately. Couldn't even be a nice gift.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
I just didn't realize that I guess he could sing as well as John.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
I love you, too. Are you okay? Did you have a grumpy day?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Oh, that's funny. Okay, if you do that character, you do the character that's like the sidekick of the podcaster.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
And let's say, wait, wait, I'll give you more like character stuff to color it out. So like, let's say you're kind of mean and you're kind of stupid. Okay, go.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
You think your dad's haunting you for real? Do you think your dad's haunting you?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
And it's possessing your balls and that's what made them all.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
I didn't. What happened? I heard a little girl's voice once in my house. But that's it.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
That's it? That's all that happened? No, there was something else happening.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
It said, one day in the future, you are going to go on a podcast with two guys and you have to kill them and slit their throats before they get in their car to get in the parking lot. And if you don't, you will never be avenged. You will never survive the curse.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Kill us both. I'm going to kill you guys both. But first, I'm going to take you. Okay, this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to give you all the chocolate you ever wanted to eat. I'm going to take you to a beach where you can run around and go crazy. Come on. I'm going to let you eat grapes, cheese, all the stuff that you weren't allowed to eat before. Grapes and cheese? Both?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Yeah, I'm going to let you up on the couch. Not even with the blanket there. You can just come right up. Shoes on? Snuggle with me. Shoes on. I'll give you belly rubs.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
It's so interesting. You have two belly buttons and one ball.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Why do I feel like only eight-year-old boys have Audis?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Oh, no, that's an Iny Audi. That's an Iny Audi. Like Severance.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Oh, I watched the series of that, Apple Cider Vinegar.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
I loved it, but I haven't seen what you've seen and you haven't seen what I've seen. Do you want to run at each other full speed?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
And spleen cancer and blood cancer and brain cancer. Yeah.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
And I saw the like... Show on Netflix. Yeah, the show based on it.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Oh, the Mendez Brothers. Yeah. They killed their parents. The show was pretty good.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Those are my medical records and their personal and private data.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Oh, I guess just right now I do ASCAT and Dinosaur.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Are those not the two most embarrassing names of things you've ever heard? Yeah. I just heard them for the first time.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
No, I said not a band. I said for a baby girl. Like, hey, I'm charity.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
I'm going to tell you something though, Teeny Teeners.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
I think what she has is worse than brain cancer. Because if you're sick enough to lie about having brain cancer, you've got another kind of illness that's maybe even more serious than brain cancer.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Not really. I feel like that's for little boys in the 1940s. No, we did it. You did it. Hey, I put a playing card in the spoke of my bicycle for a little bit of fun. Was that you?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
How could this happen to me? I made my mistakes. I don't know.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Is that the same monkey from Friends? Fuck you. Marcel?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Is that the same monkey from Friends? It is. Is it actually?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
This sucks already. It's way too loud in my headphones. I don't know who your last psychotic guest was, but.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
I don't know. I was thinking because it's animal practice.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
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Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Okay, but what really happened? You took the bus to the restaurant. What happened?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
andrew andrew yeah where'd you go i asked you about the date and you just like got really quiet and you like looked into the distance what do you mean i've been uh you were just staring there oh yeah take a minute really take a minute for a second so he experienced trauma and sometimes he goes in these oh yeah these takes you know he's you know zones out you don't have to call it out okay sorry i i just didn't know you know i could call you out about some things okay i wouldn't ever do i wasn't malicious intended i was just trying to make sure that he was okay okay
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
So do you want to tell us about the big date that you want to talk about?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
I like a sweet date. I like peanut butter chocolate date.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
No. Liar. A few production companies would be pretty mad to hear me say that. Hey, I don't have a girlfriend, but I know a few girls would be mad to hear me say that.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Like I was saying, because I think Mitch Hedberg had said something kind of like a joke like that that I... We got it on the first time.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
I don't have a husband, but I know a guy that'd be pretty mad if he heard me say that.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Well, I'm developing stuff. I'm always developing stuff.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Oh, so it's only like one person competing against one person?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
I can't you Dax Flame Quinta Brunson Quinta Brunson yeah yeah you and Quinta Brunson what's wrong with that is she you guys are being mean to me what the what the what the what the fuck are you saying she's so famous you know what dude you have to pair me up with like you're Lisa Gilroy the mail carrier what an oil dad yeah Lisa you were I heard you've won for regular folks I can be on it shut up that's so annoying fuck you dude you're a star what's the premise of the show I'm gonna fart in the mic thank you
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Bobby, why didn't you just fund it? I don't believe in the project. I don't believe in the project.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Okay, now Santino and I are going to have a competition. Up dog. You can best replicate that. And Bobby, you can judge.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Okay, now listen to Santino to replicate it and then listen to me.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Okay, listen. Yeah, close your eyes. Yeah, and actually, you shouldn't even know who's going first. Yeah, perfect.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
I don't know how you managed to put your own voice into a fart.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
I don't think there was ever any farting on dates, really.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Of course. I think it's criminally insane if people don't fart in front of their partners. Interesting. Is that you guys?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
But do you, I know you're farting in front of girlfriends past, right?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
You know when a ghost of girlfriends past comes to show you how you spent Christmas and wants to teach you a lesson?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
That's crazy. That's kind of like a blood oath, but different. Santiners, are you farting in front of your bride?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
love and longer lasting relationships look at that couples who fart together farting in front of a partner indicates strong bond sign of trust honesty and respect okay alright everybody get in here we're making the new campaign for farting in front of your partner one of the slogans that I came up with today was the more fart the more heart I'd love to hear from you guys go ahead Bob
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Okay. I'm writing that down. That's awesome. Another one I have is Tutute is cute.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Bobby, I'm loving the stuff that you're coming through.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
I just don't know what else I would say if I was not always saying, hey, can you pee on me?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Oh, like you're trying to find a way to like say it in public so that you're like, hey, later when we get home.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Thank you so much for having me. Thank you so much for having me.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
I'm Lisa Gilroy. I am a dental hygienist. And I'm from Toronto, Ontario. I didn't say my name.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
I would like to double roll and big guess them. Double roll, big guess them. Oh, shit. Okay. I'm sorry for swearing. Bing, bing, bing.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
I was thinking, well, maybe he didn't know. Well, I was thinking.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
I think at this point, Andrew, it's all or nothing. Fill up that printer.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
My grandpa? Yeah. Yeah, I guess he used to say, weasels are for tits and hoes are for bitches.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Wait, he had those dentures that make you speak English?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
I don't doubt that. Why did his dentures make him switch languages, though, is what I was asking. And that's the thing.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
My bogey's back and you're gonna get in trouble. No. Hey now, hey now, my bogey's back.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Are you guys feeling the puns that are flying around in the air?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Castle Barbecue. I used to live right by there. It's not good. I like it.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Oh, okay. You hate husbands. Yeah. Well, if mother's against drunk driving, Bobby's against good husbands.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
You said he paused and said, sorry about your show. And then you said he paused and said, sorry, dog, that your show got canceled.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Okay, don't tell us what it means. Just use it in a sentence where all the other words are English.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Okay, I'm going to guess it's the mortgage rates. It means mortgage rates.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Wait, why would that have any effect on the housing market?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
No, don't do that. Yeah, I want to see the first one. Literally don't. She's vulnerable.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
We're seeing so many animal things. It's kind of like the chemistry in here is electric. Are you guys feeling that? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Well, you still have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm wearing red socks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you see them on the camera? Yeah, a little bit.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
If someone takes weird pictures of you, they'll put them in a magazine. That's how it works.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Bobby, stand up right now and flash me your tits and I'll take a picture and I guarantee you that same magazine will buy it. Go on.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Wait, it was already Googled so much. Magazine. Magazine. Magazine.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Magazine. Magazine. Magazine. Magazine. Magazine. Magazine.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Magazine. Magazine. Magazine. Magazine. Magazine. Magazine. Magazine.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Oh, I couldn't see because it was covered by your bracelet.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
I'm just kidding, Bobby. Bobby, Bobby, look at me. Bobby.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
You think there's big famous people that I'll guess though?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
How come you don't hang out with the star-studded crew?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Bobby. I don't understand. Bobby, look at me. I don't understand this game.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
The improv. What's cat way? I don't know. About six pounds. Fuck you guys.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
So is dirt in there from you were flopping around in the mud?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Yeah, but what would get in there? What dirt has access to your belly?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
And the pod is the dick and the balls are inside? You got it. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm scared for you. Yeah, anyway. You need to go to animal hospital.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
The purple color is probably coming from blood inside your body, which is normal, right?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
It shouldn't look like that. You know if you like squeeze your fingertip and it turns purple?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
That's ringworm, bro. You gotta get to animal hospital.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Oh, yeah. But that's not, I'm not, that's not right now. I mean, I didn't, that's on the.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
You're a series regular. So when you're streaming, you're just on something forever. So if Jennifer Aniston was here, you'd be like, you're on a show right now, right? Friends.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
No, you got it right. It was beautiful. Okay. I can't believe you make your guests sit in this chair full of farts.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
It's on Hulu, which means it's going to be there for a long time.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Yeah, well, I think it's done. I think it's a limited series, so it's over.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Please. All right, you're in. Or should I say please? Or should I say please? Please. Wow. Not the last one.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Yeah, what character can that be? She's a lady who is a mailman.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
No, I'm just kidding. I was saying, like, I've been on the road, like, in a car. Yeah, yeah. No, I don't, like, tour doing stand-up. I just do sometimes stand-up around here in the little different theaters, like UCB and Largo and Dynasty and stuff.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
I want to do Love is Blind with your audience, and I want to do it in this voice, and I want to be in a garbage bag the whole time with a microphone.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
No, as a kid, I was an accountant. I was very serious.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Aw, that's such a sweet little thing to say. When did what blossom?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
That was such an impact on me. I collected hats like how she had those hats.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Does it get refilled all the time? Because it's pretty firm.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Yes, yes. Isn't that so cool to think? It's pronounced NASA, by the way.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Can you believe that? You know what's so funny? We don't even know what that means. STEM, science, technology, engineering, and math.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
See, that's interesting because you technically won the jinx battle, but because I said something bad, you thought you lost it.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
It's okay. I had a chair like this in my room when I was a little girl. When I was a little girl. And now you're a big girl. Now I'm actually pretty big.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
My dad is an oil monster. Lisa, when are you going to come back and visit me? Exactly. I'm slamming the door. Dad, I'm locking it. He just goes... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Yeah, that was Canadian. That's Canadian. And you're wearing a toque as well, which is good.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Toque is an infinitely better word than beanie. Toque you. Toque you.
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
Except for these two. Pick me home, mommy. Yeah. Do you want them? I actually feel a little like, yeah, you guys are two little rascals. It's like I've spent time with each of you individually and now you're together and you might gang up on me, but I don't sense it happening. I think I could kind of create a wedge in between. Can I say something?
Bad Friends
More Heart, More Fart w/ Lisa Gilroy
hell yeah yeah dude you're too motherfucker well now me and megan are gonna gang up on you guys right megan she's so skinny she's invisible but she's she's hot as hell and she's a neuroscientist wow and megan and i are sisters and she um oh what girl you're crazy what did she say what did she say She said she has a crush on one of you and she's not going to say who.