Leslie McSpadden
Appearances
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
We had a lot of happy times. I used to put him in little tank tops with the little floral shirts open. Oh my God, so many. Putting him in his suits for Easter and making his Easter baskets. Just celebrating every holiday with him, dressing him up. I love to put him in like this little sailor suit I have, like when he was still, he wasn't even one yet.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
Just embracing motherhood, you know, and your cute little sweet baby, you know, all of that.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
Mike had a dog when he was one years old. All his dogs have been named Spike. And Spike was Pike because he couldn't say the S when he was one. But my father's father breeded miniature Dobermans. He was sandy red. Everybody in the neighborhood knew Spike. When he was one, my mom was in the backyard hanging clothes on the line. And I went out and I said, Mama, where is Mike, my kid?
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
And she was like, he was in there with you. And she just instantly started yelling, you better find him. Well, when I went outside, I was asking, y'all see Mike, my kid? Everybody like, no. Something told me to walk towards Ms. Brown's house. Well, I got to the end of the street and I see a dog tail and I see a pamper. And it's him and the dog.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
I'm so glad that he hadn't crossed the street, but he had got out the house walking. Walked around. He knew where his grandma stayed and was fitting to go over there to her house.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
Something happened to Spike. I can't remember. But then our neighbor gave us another dog. And that was Spike, too.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
They really doted over him. They loved him. I saw the same type of love that they gave to their son. They were just some really great parents. They really were.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
He just loved Mike Mike. He took Mike Mike to the barbershop, McDonald's. Like he knew his grandfather was going to take him somewhere. I'll tell you this. When he would keep Mike, he would put him in a high chair and put the top over him and put on Disney movies. And that's what started the whole visual thing for Mike, because he was a whiz at the game, had every game that came out.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
I love the fact that he had some old schooling in his life because it taught him structure and discipline as well. Because I was still young. I was still under 20 myself.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
I went back to school, and Mike would drive me to my bus stop, and I would catch two buses to get out to Ladue. After maybe three or four months, I had a fight at school. I was suspended, and I still wasn't giving up. After my suspension, I went back because I was determined. And one of the young ladies was just continuing to bother me, although I was trying to block it out.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
It just became just too much of a hindrance, and then I still had home. to be concerned about, you know, Mike's a baby who's going to watch him. So I dropped out of school in 11th grade.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
Our room was in the basement. And so, you know, when you're in the basement, you really can't tell if it's daytime or nighttime until you actually look out the window or go upstairs. And I used to be down there so much. I know that I probably had slipped into depression and I didn't want to go outside. I didn't I wasn't feeling myself. And then, you know, Mike, him and I used to fight.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
Even though I was still here laying on the side of this man, he sleeps snoring. My eyes are wide open and my mind is racing, thinking about my next step. You know, like, I had to be strategic.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
I had a doctor's appointment, and they let me know she was really high up, going to send you in, you know. So it took like all day, all night, and I had Deja like 2.30 in the afternoon the next day. Natural.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
So many of my family members were there. Cousins, aunts, uncles. It was so many people there for Mike's birth. And the same way Mike came into this world with a lot of people around him is the same way he left. You know, so I've always felt that God gave me that baby for a reason. That's why May 20th will always be a special day to me because I had a baby. Michael Landis Darion Brown.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
And then he picked Deja up, and he was running down the hall with her. Oh, God, that's a funny story.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
They went to school together, they played together, bathed together, slept together, you know, all of that.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
His mom, she just, she's a sweet lady. Don't get me wrong. She really is. She has a good heart. She said, Nana Poo, I'm going to pay the rent and you let Mike go on with y'all. And I really didn't want to do that, but I said, okay, okay. So when I got my very first apartment, she paid my rent as long as he was there.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
Yeah, I was working two jobs. And I would come home at night after working the two jobs, meaning I'm gone all day. He would have company in my house. They would be playing the game. My children would still have on the same pajamas. And they would be telling me they hungry. And I said, that's it. You can't. No, no, no, no. You got to go.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
One time I had like three jobs and I didn't have a vehicle. So I had to rely on people to pick me up and drop me off. So I remember coming in the house, talking to the kids, making sure they ate, making sure everything was okay. You know, sitting down on the couch, putting my head back for maybe five minutes and hearing the horn blow. Oh, that's my ride. I got to get to the next job.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
And when I was at Schnucks is when I met someone who worked at Strop's. And they said, you should come over there and you should, you know, and I gave it a try. And then I ended up at Strop's.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
I also was a cheese connoisseur when I was at Straub's. I learned about several cheeses to pair with limes and all that good stuff and grapes. So what they would do is they would send me to all the Straub's to do demos.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
If something is going on with my kids, I'm gone. I would rather be there than anyone else because... No one knew more than me about my children and their health.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
The health care I was receiving from the state would not let him go see a cardiologist or a neurologist, the people that he needed to see for his health. And I had to work 8,000 hours, 8,000, so that I could qualify and put Mike on my insurance. But I did it. And they only gave me a 10-cent raise with that. But whatever you got to do for your kids, you're going to do it.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
I was hiding myself behind glasses and big hair. And my mom came to me one day and she just kept trying to look in my face. And I knew that someone had told her. And that's when I was like, nah, I can't do this. Even though she knows that I witnessed her go through it, it hurt her to see me going through that, you know? But I would try to hide it from the kids.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
Like, no, this could not be love. And this is definitely not what I want. You know, there's got to be something better. Like, I deserve better.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
And Louis was at the counter. And I walked past. And he was just piercing me. And I just stopped.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
He was just standing there, like, looking. And I was looking behind me, like, who he looking at and what is he looking at? Like, what's wrong with this man? I kept looking behind me, like, who he looking at? So I said, can I help you? And he was just looking. And I was like, do you need something? And I said, something wrong with him.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
The next day or after, I went out on break and you came out to the break table and you asked me, could you buy me a soda or something like that? And I think I was like, yeah, sure. And then we started talking. And so when I would go on break again, he would take his break as well. And people were starting to notice, like they going out there together. She worked in the deli and I was maintenance.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
There were some people that was just like, oh, I don't know. I don't think he likes you like that. It's just like a lust thing.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
And so we kind of started talking at work, and he was asking for my number. And at first I was like, no, no, no. And then something just was like, try something you never tried, you know? So I went on and I gave him my number. And... Some days we would be at work and I would be in the cooler and I would turn around and Lewis would be in the cooler. Yeah.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
And I'm like, look, you can't be doing this stuff at work. So after that, people knew that we had became an item and we were dating and all that good stuff. And it was cool, you know.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
People like to see us happy. And it was like me and Louis kind of became this poster couple for people like, oh, y'all look so happy and this and that. And so I was like, we actually are happy, you know.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
I already had four children. He had his three children. Neither one of us had been married. And I just was like, you know, I don't know if I want to just be in a relationship. But I kind of want to do the next, you know, marriage. So what do you think in three years if we're still together, we're doing good and we're progressing? What do you think? You know, he was like, OK.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
Everybody spells it different. Like Niecy, she's spelling Ned Poo. N-E-D Poo. They call me Neddy Poo. Her mama call me Nella Poo. Some people just call me Ned. Some people call me LeNeddy. You call me Neddy. You see what I'm saying? Like my mom may say Neddy some stuff, but it started off as Neddy Poo.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
I was at home, just in the house. You was out doing something. And you came in the house and you just said, you ready? And I said, ready for what? And you was like, you said in three years you want to. I said, oh, you want to go today? You ready right now? It was during the week, but it was just like out the blue. Like, yeah, we talked about it, but we didn't plan. So I'm like.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
okay and um I found this what I thought was my best sweater and I put that on and some cute blue jeans and some nice sandals and um Louis just went in his work clothes so we went to the courthouse that either that day I believe the afternoon I remember being number 28 no one knew but him and I it was just me and her we did that May 7th 2014 and then we told everybody after it was a sweet day it was a sweet day
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
He's a certified barber, and that's when him and Mike would bond a lot.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
He had some struggles. And I just used to tell him about my struggles. And like, you got to do this because I didn't. And I need you to go beyond the point that I did. And he would always say, well, what about you? Mama, you didn't. What about you? You know, they always want to compare. And I said, no, I don't want you to be like me. I want you to be better than me.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
You know, and a lot of parents say that, but I really meant that. And I told him, I said, I tell you what, once I have the time, To go back to school, I'm going to do that. But you got to do it first. I say, you got to do it first.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
Mike Mike, he was the teacher of all these tech items and teaching us how to use the phone, how to program the TVs and all that. You would come and get Mike for all of that. He was the person for that.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
And put it back together. He can do all these great things. And I don't know where he learned it from. It was just his gift.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
Mike had this video camera that he would record things on. And, oh, God, I could just see him on TikTok now. Like, I really can. He just was always this gadget guy, and so was my dad. So he would buy him all these things, iPods, tripods, all kinds of stuff. Mike had a portable Wi-Fi box camera. that he would carry around in his backpack with him and his laptop and his game, all his electronics.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
So wherever he went, he could plug up and be comfortable. He had all the stuff that he needed.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
We had to go to family courts. I explained to them that he's been with his father for the last two weeks. I wasn't aware that he didn't enroll him in school, but moving forward, I will take my son to the school. I'll take care of it all.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
In that meeting, I paid for Mike's cap and gown because I knew my son was going to graduate. I know you're going to graduate. You're going to graduate. You're going to school and you're going to graduate. Mike started going, doing what he was supposed to do. Ms. White called me some months later and she said, I want to let you know that Mike is caught up and he's graduating.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
She said, I have his diploma and I want to give it to you. And I told her, no, you give it to Mike because he earned it and it's his and I'll see it. And I was at Straps. I left work. I got to Mike about maybe a little after three when school let out. And I saw that vanilla folder in his hand and I knew what was in it. He didn't know that I knew yet, but I did.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
which led to him going to my mom's house for the summer because he earned it.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
He called me and he needed $20 to get, it was something he needed for his phone. I think he needed a battery pack. And I told Mike that I was giving it to him in two days when I got paid.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
Because it was just a regular day. Like, we don't know that in two days my son is going to be gone.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
Police were out there saying, get back, get back, get back.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
All I remember saying over and over and over and over and over again was why, why, why, why.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
I'm still Mike's mom right now. Once you're a mother, you never forget how the mother was.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
She lived in the biggest house on the block. Everybody came to her house for the holidays, and most of the neighbors were on her porch every day because she had a lot of grandkids. My grandmother had eight children. I can't even count all the grandkids, but we all migrated there. If it wasn't after school every day, it was on the weekends and most definitely on holidays.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
She's been with me through good times, bad times. She's just never left my side, so she's been more than a cousin.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
really close as being cousins, sisters. We come from a family that fed the whole neighborhood. We come from a family that every holiday, they may have family coming from out of town, but somehow they ended up on our grandmother's porch.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
And we ended up in the street playing court, some type of ball game, some type of high goal seat, either putting on your skates, rolling through the street and riding a bike. And our grandmother was playing polkino. Yes, we loved it.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
We would walk in and out the door and pass that dining room table for hours waiting on someone to get up and let us play because we were taught to respect elders very much. So, like, you don't ask who it is. You don't say lie. You don't question. You are to be seen and not heard.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
Her tying the string to our teeth into the knob and slamming the door to pull out our teeth. We weren't scared, though. And it didn't hurt. We was looking forward. You know, our mamas and daddies be like, let me get it. No, no, no. We waiting till we go over there with Granny. She gonna get it. And that's what she did. You know, that's where we went when we were sent home from school.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
We didn't go home. We went to Granny's house. She always said, boiled foods make you feel better. She was a boiler pot of food type of person. You know what I'm saying? And so big pots of spaghetti like this. And we would be outside playing so hard that we didn't want to sit down and eat. So we would make spaghetti sandwiches just so we can hurry up and get back outside and play.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
But she had a routine with us. And when we all spent the night, we got up at a certain time, you picked your cover up, you put it up, you got yourself together, and we went in the kitchen and this person did eggs, this person did bread, and my granny would do the meat. It's a memory that none of us ever forget because we shared all that time together. We really did. We really grew up together.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
Her name was Miss Sanders, Patricia Sanders to be exact. And she would really, like, keep me in line and keep me out of trouble.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
We had this common area where everybody could hang out when you had a free class or in between lunch periods. And we had phones in there. And I used to be in there sneaking on the phone. And, you know, you would think you're sneaking, but it's like she wore these high heels. She was so jazzy, okay?
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
I could hear her coming around the corner, and I would try to get off, and she would say, uh-uh, I see you. And she would come and take the phone and say, who is this? Do you know where she is and where she's supposed to be? I mean, she would tell all your business. And she would say, I'm going to take you to class, and I'm going to, you know, say you was with me and don't let me catch you again.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
She was like that mama at school that you needed, you know? And I appreciate her. I really do. I'll never forget Ms. Sanders.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
We went in the bathroom and I took it. And I remember her saying, ooh, ooh, ooh. And I was like, ooh, what? And she was like, girl, you pregnant. And I was like, no, I'm not. And I was like, oh, my God. I got to tell my mama. No, I'm going to let you tell her. You tell her. And we went to those same pay phones in school and called my mom.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
And she said, April, this better be April's food joke, something like that. And she just was fussing and fussing. And I didn't even get on the phone. I was just like, girl, hang up.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
I don't think anybody believed me. Like, because they just couldn't believe that I was having sex. Yeah. I didn't know anything about it. I just was pregnant. We all were. That's why we didn't believe her. Yeah. I'm telling you, that's the God's honest truth. Like, I was never really talked to about that. I was dealing with somebody and...
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
We was in a relationship, supposed to be boyfriend-girlfriend. My mom knew, his mom knew, and we spent time together. And then for, you know, I was scared. I didn't know what was wrong with me. But one thing that I did know was I want to have this baby.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
They worked with me because I was definitely trying. I was showing up and I was giving it my best, but I did not use it as an excuse. You know, I still did what I was supposed to do when I showed up to school. But of course, you know, I would fall asleep in some classes and
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
Canfield is a torture site. Canfield is like ground zero for me. What they did on Canfield changed my life forever.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
People would wake me up and tell me, oh, they were talking about, they were pointing, you know, I would go through that, of course, you know, but hey, it comes with the territory, you know, of being a teen mom.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
So May 20th, 1996, I had a doctor's appointment and my doctor's name was Dr. Ikuno. He was so nice to me. And I would go in. My mom always went to the doctor with me. And he said, come here, come here. Look, look. I was so embarrassed. He telling her to look down there. And he said, she's going to have this baby tonight. You see this? She has lost her plug. I was like, what the hell is a plug?
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
What's a plug? So I go home. And my mom said, come on, we're going to Granny's house. I went to my grandma's house. She had made a large pot of spaghetti. And I remember her saying to me, eat this now because when you go to the hospital, they're not going to let you eat. My first baby. So I was like, really? So I ate the spaghetti. And about 10 o'clock, I went to the hospital.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
I remember going in and being put all up, you know, plugged up and everything. And then I started feeling nauseated. And so they brought me a cup, and there comes all the spaghetti up. It was like, Granny, I'm still hungry now. And so many of my family members were there, cousins, aunts, uncles. It was so many people there for Mike's birth. And within 44 minutes, Mike was out. I got there at 10.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
I chose his middle name, which was Orlando's. And then I wanted to give Mike a name of my own that I wanted to name him, you know, and that was Darion. And I wanted Mike to have his own identity. I wanted him to be his own person, an individual. And his dad didn't want a junior. He didn't want that on there. So that's how we came up with Michael Orlando's Darion Brown.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
And that's his name, M-O-D-B. Leslie called him Mike Mike.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
I just remember my mom and them coming in the room to see him, and I was holding him. And he had a little cone head, and she brought his first outfit. It says, I love my grandma. That was his first picture. And, um... Life began for us.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
When you have a baby, Granny does not come to the hospital. You have to stop at her house on your way home. So when I stopped at her house, some more of my family was there to greet Mike and see Mike. And I remember my oldest aunt, her name is Barbara. She was holding Mike. She said, don't you be keeping my niece up all night because she got to go to school.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
So that was very important to me to go back to school and graduate.
Still My Baby
Welcome to the World, Mike Mike
I had to make these people proud of me, you know, because I had a little bump in the road, but we're going to keep going. And that's what I did.
Still My Baby
They Shot Mike Mike
Joining us now from St. Louis, Michael Brown's mother, Leslie McSpadden.