Lauren Rogen

I come from a family steeped in talking about your feelings. My family can't stop talking about it. No, they cannot. As much as you would wish, they are incapable of that. I just knew I was completely incapable of dealing with this. And I was just like, this is like a professional level of grief and something that you need to have gone to school to understand how to navigate this kind of thing.

I come from a family steeped in talking about your feelings. My family can't stop talking about it. No, they cannot. As much as you would wish, they are incapable of that. I just knew I was completely incapable of dealing with this. And I was just like, this is like a professional level of grief and something that you need to have gone to school to understand how to navigate this kind of thing.

And we were finding... with Lauren's mother who was progressing that, like, it was one of these things in life where, like, money just made it better. Like, and, like, you know, it's unfair when those things happen and you don't, you know, it's not like you want to look at a kid in the face and be like... Money can actually fix some major problems.

And we were finding... with Lauren's mother who was progressing that, like, it was one of these things in life where, like, money just made it better. Like, and, like, you know, it's unfair when those things happen and you don't, you know, it's not like you want to look at a kid in the face and be like... Money can actually fix some major problems.

It cannot buy happiness, but it can for sure alleviate stress and angst, you know, and a sense of impending doom, you know. And yeah, we had around the clock, we were able to buy like a duplex for Lauren's mother and father. And he lived in one side and she lived on the other side with like a 24 hours a day, seven day a week care.

It cannot buy happiness, but it can for sure alleviate stress and angst, you know, and a sense of impending doom, you know. And yeah, we had around the clock, we were able to buy like a duplex for Lauren's mother and father. And he lived in one side and she lived on the other side with like a 24 hours a day, seven day a week care.

And we just saw like, oh, this has made everyone's lives so much more manageable. And that was really part of the inspiration for like, what do we do with the money we are raising? Maybe we can help alleviate other people's problems. Yeah.

And we just saw like, oh, this has made everyone's lives so much more manageable. And that was really part of the inspiration for like, what do we do with the money we are raising? Maybe we can help alleviate other people's problems. Yeah.

You've been conditioned to deprioritize sleep. Exactly.

You've been conditioned to deprioritize sleep. Exactly.

It's true. And that's something that, like, I think, yeah, is very easy. And it's good news. Like, that's one of the few good ones. It's like, most people like to sleep. To be told, like, prioritize your sleep.

It's true. And that's something that, like, I think, yeah, is very easy. And it's good news. Like, that's one of the few good ones. It's like, most people like to sleep. To be told, like, prioritize your sleep.

You do get a score. Now, like, it's like they've gamified it. So, yeah, like, I get a sleep score, which does, in the middle of the night, I'll be awake, and I'm like, my score is plummeting. And every morning, we're like, what'd you get? I know.

You do get a score. Now, like, it's like they've gamified it. So, yeah, like, I get a sleep score, which does, in the middle of the night, I'll be awake, and I'm like, my score is plummeting. And every morning, we're like, what'd you get? I know.

Keeping it light. Nick's going through it. Welcome to the show. Yeah, exactly.

Keeping it light. Nick's going through it. Welcome to the show. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. We will need it. It'll help us a little bit.

Yeah. We will need it. It'll help us a little bit.

Wow, that's a lot, Nick.

Wow, that's a lot, Nick.

Well, I think one of the things that we learned early on is... I remember because Lauren's father was taking care of Lauren's mother and was very resistant to getting help. I think especially generationally, it's like... And his... His parents had, you know, like there had been things in his family where people had been put in homes. And I think he was not thrilled with how that was.

Well, I think one of the things that we learned early on is... I remember because Lauren's father was taking care of Lauren's mother and was very resistant to getting help. I think especially generationally, it's like... And his... His parents had, you know, like there had been things in his family where people had been put in homes. And I think he was not thrilled with how that was.

So he was very insistent on kind of bearing the weight of it. And one thing we learned was that often caretakers die before the person they are taking care of because of the physical and emotional toll. it takes on them. And that was something we were seeing happen in real time, basically.

So he was very insistent on kind of bearing the weight of it. And one thing we learned was that often caretakers die before the person they are taking care of because of the physical and emotional toll. it takes on them. And that was something we were seeing happen in real time, basically.

And it was one of those things where he was in it. And we would leave and come back every once in a while. And I think the three months didn't seem like things had gotten much worse from his perspective. And then we, because we, again, were coming and going, we'd come back and be like, oh, my God, this is so bad.

And it was one of those things where he was in it. And we would leave and come back every once in a while. And I think the three months didn't seem like things had gotten much worse from his perspective. And then we, because we, again, were coming and going, we'd come back and be like, oh, my God, this is so bad.

And he felt like he had like a system.

And he felt like he had like a system.

But there's also the nuance of like... Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

But there's also the nuance of like... Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And... And that was very helpful.

And... And that was very helpful.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

I don't know Nick's relationship with his dad, but I think some very blunt, honest conversations were necessary, painful, but necessary, and actually really moved things in a better direction, like in our family.

I don't know Nick's relationship with his dad, but I think some very blunt, honest conversations were necessary, painful, but necessary, and actually really moved things in a better direction, like in our family.

And as far as like the specifics of like his, you know, Nick's mother thinks she has a new boyfriend, like, I mean, that would tell me probably that her dementia has progressed to a point where like…

And as far as like the specifics of like his, you know, Nick's mother thinks she has a new boyfriend, like, I mean, that would tell me probably that her dementia has progressed to a point where like…

She's not the same person. And yeah, her father or his father should, again, I mean, should, it's easier said than done. It would probably behoove him to start accepting that and not trying to put her back into the box she used to be in, but rather... make the hard, you know, choice to accept that it is different now and it won't ever be the same.

She's not the same person. And yeah, her father or his father should, again, I mean, should, it's easier said than done. It would probably behoove him to start accepting that and not trying to put her back into the box she used to be in, but rather... make the hard, you know, choice to accept that it is different now and it won't ever be the same.

And that, you know, the romantic relationship they once had and that companionship is just not there in the way it used to be. And he can lament it and he could be resentful towards her and try to stop her from being around this guy who probably makes her happy. Or he could...

And that, you know, the romantic relationship they once had and that companionship is just not there in the way it used to be. And he can lament it and he could be resentful towards her and try to stop her from being around this guy who probably makes her happy. Or he could...

Or he could accept it and maybe do things for himself that offered him some sort of companionship or allowed him to move in a new direction rather than looking kind of backwards at what once was, you know.

Or he could accept it and maybe do things for himself that offered him some sort of companionship or allowed him to move in a new direction rather than looking kind of backwards at what once was, you know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, it sounds like him and his wife are having... Issues as well.

Well, it sounds like him and his wife are having... Issues as well.

I think that, honestly, like that was, I mean, we were very young when all this started. We just started dating. We were both in our early 20s, basically. And my whole family are social workers, essentially. My mother's a social worker. My sister is a social worker. One of my half-brothers is a social worker. So I come from a family steeped in talking about your feelings.

I think that, honestly, like that was, I mean, we were very young when all this started. We just started dating. We were both in our early 20s, basically. And my whole family are social workers, essentially. My mother's a social worker. My sister is a social worker. One of my half-brothers is a social worker. So I come from a family steeped in talking about your feelings.

My family can't stop talking about it.

My family can't stop talking about it.

As much as you would wish. They are incapable of that. I just knew I was completely incapable of dealing with this. And I was just like, this is like a professional level of grief and something that you need to have gone to school to understand how to navigate this kind of thing. And... And that was very helpful.

As much as you would wish. They are incapable of that. I just knew I was completely incapable of dealing with this. And I was just like, this is like a professional level of grief and something that you need to have gone to school to understand how to navigate this kind of thing. And... And that was very helpful.

And they can go together. Of course, yeah. Just because I think there's a stigma around couples therapy, it means there's a problem in your marriage or relationship or something. But we've gone and talked to therapists together just about how to communicate about this stuff and how we can help each other and make each other's experience with it better. And I think that has been very helpful.

And they can go together. Of course, yeah. Just because I think there's a stigma around couples therapy, it means there's a problem in your marriage or relationship or something. But we've gone and talked to therapists together just about how to communicate about this stuff and how we can help each other and make each other's experience with it better. And I think that has been very helpful.

Is it bad if I don't see her every day? Can I take a few days off? Is it okay? It's for sure not the most fun thing to go do.

Is it bad if I don't see her every day? Can I take a few days off? Is it okay? It's for sure not the most fun thing to go do.

Yeah. I think it's like when you're miserable, it's sometimes easier to just be miserable. And I think people, it's hard to pull yourself out of it sometimes.

Yeah. I think it's like when you're miserable, it's sometimes easier to just be miserable. And I think people, it's hard to pull yourself out of it sometimes.

And if he's just really sad because his mother's sick and he's just in it and his dad is unhappy and like, it's almost easier at times to hand yourself over to like the miserable side of things than to try to be around your kids and wife and act like a happy, functional person, you know? And I think that's something that,

And if he's just really sad because his mother's sick and he's just in it and his dad is unhappy and like, it's almost easier at times to hand yourself over to like the miserable side of things than to try to be around your kids and wife and act like a happy, functional person, you know? And I think that's something that,

Again, therapy can help a lot and prioritizing your relationship and making sure that, you know, you are communicating with your wife and you're talking about all this stuff and taking time. I mean, time is the thing that you just need.

Again, therapy can help a lot and prioritizing your relationship and making sure that, you know, you are communicating with your wife and you're talking about all this stuff and taking time. I mean, time is the thing that you just need.

And if you want some illegal drugs, I can help.

And if you want some illegal drugs, I can help.

But yeah, I think it's, I was so happy on days when Lauren made the choice that she didn't have to go see her mother. Because I was like, that's her prioritizing her own mental health. And she's not abandoning her mother. She sees them all the time. We move them, you know, six blocks away. away from where we live. They were very close.

But yeah, I think it's, I was so happy on days when Lauren made the choice that she didn't have to go see her mother. Because I was like, that's her prioritizing her own mental health. And she's not abandoning her mother. She sees them all the time. We move them, you know, six blocks away. away from where we live. They were very close.

But those days where I could just see she was like, I don't need to do this today. And I'm going to actually maybe try to enjoy myself today.

But those days where I could just see she was like, I don't need to do this today. And I'm going to actually maybe try to enjoy myself today.

That was big. Don't try to convince your mom she doesn't have a new boyfriend. In her head, she does. Now you got two dads for a little while.

That was big. Don't try to convince your mom she doesn't have a new boyfriend. In her head, she does. Now you got two dads for a little while.

Yeah, definitely. Especially like if his mother is in a home, they're feeding her, the people watching her, like there's not much you need to be doing.

Yeah, definitely. Especially like if his mother is in a home, they're feeding her, the people watching her, like there's not much you need to be doing.

And if Nick, again, like, yeah, a good thing for Nick to think is if he has the choice between going and visiting his mom and spending time with his wife, asking himself, What would my mom want me to do in this situation?

And if Nick, again, like, yeah, a good thing for Nick to think is if he has the choice between going and visiting his mom and spending time with his wife, asking himself, What would my mom want me to do in this situation?

Don't let it get to that point where she too thinks you're an asshole, Nick.

Don't let it get to that point where she too thinks you're an asshole, Nick.

Exactly. Take your wife out on the town in Miami. Lots of stuff to do there. Lots of good restaurants.

Exactly. Take your wife out on the town in Miami. Lots of stuff to do there. Lots of good restaurants.

I mean, we found that that was like... At first, we were very uncomfortable with the combination of comedy and Alzheimer's, honestly. And it felt very inorganic. And then, yeah, we found that people coming and telling their stories and keeping a... humorous perspective amidst all this is like so cathartic and helpful.

I mean, we found that that was like... At first, we were very uncomfortable with the combination of comedy and Alzheimer's, honestly. And it felt very inorganic. And then, yeah, we found that people coming and telling their stories and keeping a... humorous perspective amidst all this is like so cathartic and helpful.

And people like to laugh and can shift gears very easily and can contain both of those things at once. And so, yeah, humor is helpful. I don't know if it's the best medicine, but it's a pretty good one.

And people like to laugh and can shift gears very easily and can contain both of those things at once. And so, yeah, humor is helpful. I don't know if it's the best medicine, but it's a pretty good one.

Yeah, lots of stuff. I've been very fortunate to be working a ton. We're producing a movie together, actually, about Alzheimer's, actually.

Yeah, lots of stuff. I've been very fortunate to be working a ton. We're producing a movie together, actually, about Alzheimer's, actually.

Yeah, and it's great. It's an animated film that's very sad and funny. And Julia Louis-Dreyfus stars as the matriarch character who has dementia.

Yeah, and it's great. It's an animated film that's very sad and funny. And Julia Louis-Dreyfus stars as the matriarch character who has dementia.

but it's in a way it feels so good to tell a story like this in a way that like I think is very it's not going to hit you over the head with sadness no it's very entertaining yeah it feels good to take something so sad and turn it into something that is meant for ultimately yeah for enjoyment and entertainment and although it's a sad movie I think it's very uplifting and poignant and yeah it's a very nice creative exercise in that way yeah

but it's in a way it feels so good to tell a story like this in a way that like I think is very it's not going to hit you over the head with sadness no it's very entertaining yeah it feels good to take something so sad and turn it into something that is meant for ultimately yeah for enjoyment and entertainment and although it's a sad movie I think it's very uplifting and poignant and yeah it's a very nice creative exercise in that way yeah

It feels like in the last decade, there's been a seismic shift in people's understanding of Alzheimer's and willingness to even talk about it. When we first started doing charity in the Alzheimer's world, nobody wanted to talk about it even. Getting people with Alzheimer's to... speak and to kind of come forward and share their experience was very hard.

It feels like in the last decade, there's been a seismic shift in people's understanding of Alzheimer's and willingness to even talk about it. When we first started doing charity in the Alzheimer's world, nobody wanted to talk about it even. Getting people with Alzheimer's to... speak and to kind of come forward and share their experience was very hard.

And even people who had family members didn't want to talk about it. It was, yeah, we've, I think, personally seen Alzheimer's kind of start to go over that hump from being something like no one talks about to being something that like people seem more willing to talk about, right?

And even people who had family members didn't want to talk about it. It was, yeah, we've, I think, personally seen Alzheimer's kind of start to go over that hump from being something like no one talks about to being something that like people seem more willing to talk about, right?

She's like, what do you mean?

She's like, what do you mean?

I come from a family steeped in talking about your feelings. My family can't stop talking about it. No, they cannot. As much as you would wish, they are incapable of that. I just knew I was completely incapable of dealing with this. And I was just like, this is like a professional level of grief and something that you need to have gone to school to understand how to navigate this kind of thing.

And we were finding... with Lauren's mother who was progressing that, like, it was one of these things in life where, like, money just made it better. Like, and, like, you know, it's unfair when those things happen and you don't, you know, it's not like you want to look at a kid in the face and be like... Money can actually fix some major problems.

It cannot buy happiness, but it can for sure alleviate stress and angst, you know, and a sense of impending doom, you know. And yeah, we had around the clock, we were able to buy like a duplex for Lauren's mother and father. And he lived in one side and she lived on the other side with like a 24 hours a day, seven day a week care.

And we just saw like, oh, this has made everyone's lives so much more manageable. And that was really part of the inspiration for like, what do we do with the money we are raising? Maybe we can help alleviate other people's problems. Yeah.

You've been conditioned to deprioritize sleep. Exactly.

It's true. And that's something that, like, I think, yeah, is very easy. And it's good news. Like, that's one of the few good ones. It's like, most people like to sleep. To be told, like, prioritize your sleep.

You do get a score. Now, like, it's like they've gamified it. So, yeah, like, I get a sleep score, which does, in the middle of the night, I'll be awake, and I'm like, my score is plummeting. And every morning, we're like, what'd you get? I know.

Keeping it light. Nick's going through it. Welcome to the show. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. We will need it. It'll help us a little bit.

Wow, that's a lot, Nick.

Well, I think one of the things that we learned early on is... I remember because Lauren's father was taking care of Lauren's mother and was very resistant to getting help. I think especially generationally, it's like... And his... His parents had, you know, like there had been things in his family where people had been put in homes. And I think he was not thrilled with how that was.

So he was very insistent on kind of bearing the weight of it. And one thing we learned was that often caretakers die before the person they are taking care of because of the physical and emotional toll. it takes on them. And that was something we were seeing happen in real time, basically.

And it was one of those things where he was in it. And we would leave and come back every once in a while. And I think the three months didn't seem like things had gotten much worse from his perspective. And then we, because we, again, were coming and going, we'd come back and be like, oh, my God, this is so bad.

And he felt like he had like a system.

But there's also the nuance of like... Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

And... And that was very helpful.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

I don't know Nick's relationship with his dad, but I think some very blunt, honest conversations were necessary, painful, but necessary, and actually really moved things in a better direction, like in our family.

And as far as like the specifics of like his, you know, Nick's mother thinks she has a new boyfriend, like, I mean, that would tell me probably that her dementia has progressed to a point where like…

She's not the same person. And yeah, her father or his father should, again, I mean, should, it's easier said than done. It would probably behoove him to start accepting that and not trying to put her back into the box she used to be in, but rather... make the hard, you know, choice to accept that it is different now and it won't ever be the same.

And that, you know, the romantic relationship they once had and that companionship is just not there in the way it used to be. And he can lament it and he could be resentful towards her and try to stop her from being around this guy who probably makes her happy. Or he could...

Or he could accept it and maybe do things for himself that offered him some sort of companionship or allowed him to move in a new direction rather than looking kind of backwards at what once was, you know.

Yeah.

Well, it sounds like him and his wife are having... Issues as well.

I think that, honestly, like that was, I mean, we were very young when all this started. We just started dating. We were both in our early 20s, basically. And my whole family are social workers, essentially. My mother's a social worker. My sister is a social worker. One of my half-brothers is a social worker. So I come from a family steeped in talking about your feelings.

My family can't stop talking about it.

As much as you would wish. They are incapable of that. I just knew I was completely incapable of dealing with this. And I was just like, this is like a professional level of grief and something that you need to have gone to school to understand how to navigate this kind of thing. And... And that was very helpful.

And they can go together. Of course, yeah. Just because I think there's a stigma around couples therapy, it means there's a problem in your marriage or relationship or something. But we've gone and talked to therapists together just about how to communicate about this stuff and how we can help each other and make each other's experience with it better. And I think that has been very helpful.

Is it bad if I don't see her every day? Can I take a few days off? Is it okay? It's for sure not the most fun thing to go do.

Yeah. I think it's like when you're miserable, it's sometimes easier to just be miserable. And I think people, it's hard to pull yourself out of it sometimes.

And if he's just really sad because his mother's sick and he's just in it and his dad is unhappy and like, it's almost easier at times to hand yourself over to like the miserable side of things than to try to be around your kids and wife and act like a happy, functional person, you know? And I think that's something that,

Again, therapy can help a lot and prioritizing your relationship and making sure that, you know, you are communicating with your wife and you're talking about all this stuff and taking time. I mean, time is the thing that you just need.

And if you want some illegal drugs, I can help.

But yeah, I think it's, I was so happy on days when Lauren made the choice that she didn't have to go see her mother. Because I was like, that's her prioritizing her own mental health. And she's not abandoning her mother. She sees them all the time. We move them, you know, six blocks away. away from where we live. They were very close.

But those days where I could just see she was like, I don't need to do this today. And I'm going to actually maybe try to enjoy myself today.

That was big. Don't try to convince your mom she doesn't have a new boyfriend. In her head, she does. Now you got two dads for a little while.

Yeah, definitely. Especially like if his mother is in a home, they're feeding her, the people watching her, like there's not much you need to be doing.

And if Nick, again, like, yeah, a good thing for Nick to think is if he has the choice between going and visiting his mom and spending time with his wife, asking himself, What would my mom want me to do in this situation?

Don't let it get to that point where she too thinks you're an asshole, Nick.

Exactly. Take your wife out on the town in Miami. Lots of stuff to do there. Lots of good restaurants.

I mean, we found that that was like... At first, we were very uncomfortable with the combination of comedy and Alzheimer's, honestly. And it felt very inorganic. And then, yeah, we found that people coming and telling their stories and keeping a... humorous perspective amidst all this is like so cathartic and helpful.

And people like to laugh and can shift gears very easily and can contain both of those things at once. And so, yeah, humor is helpful. I don't know if it's the best medicine, but it's a pretty good one.

Yeah, lots of stuff. I've been very fortunate to be working a ton. We're producing a movie together, actually, about Alzheimer's, actually.

Yeah, and it's great. It's an animated film that's very sad and funny. And Julia Louis-Dreyfus stars as the matriarch character who has dementia.

but it's in a way it feels so good to tell a story like this in a way that like I think is very it's not going to hit you over the head with sadness no it's very entertaining yeah it feels good to take something so sad and turn it into something that is meant for ultimately yeah for enjoyment and entertainment and although it's a sad movie I think it's very uplifting and poignant and yeah it's a very nice creative exercise in that way yeah

It feels like in the last decade, there's been a seismic shift in people's understanding of Alzheimer's and willingness to even talk about it. When we first started doing charity in the Alzheimer's world, nobody wanted to talk about it even. Getting people with Alzheimer's to... speak and to kind of come forward and share their experience was very hard.

And even people who had family members didn't want to talk about it. It was, yeah, we've, I think, personally seen Alzheimer's kind of start to go over that hump from being something like no one talks about to being something that like people seem more willing to talk about, right?

She's like, what do you mean?