Lauren Kay
Appearances
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
So I love that. And that is. Exactly. That is so it. And I feel like it is cliche, but now that you're on the other side, you know, that there is truth behind the cliche, right? That like, it really is the best day because you're with your person, you're with your people and whatever happens at the end of the day, you made this huge commitment in front of all your loved ones and you're married.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
So my biggest piece of advice is don't do what I do. Don't just choose an arbitrary number. Do your research. One of the best things you can do is really set your budget based on real data.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
And we know that the budget, the B word, as we like to call it, is so, so tricky to talk about and so tricky to unpack with not only your significant other who you're marrying, but also other people who might be contributing to the wedding spend, right? They might be contributing to money from your parents or their parents. And so it's a tricky conversation.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
But I think if you can set your budget by actually researching wedding costs, you're going to be ahead of the game. So we found that 86% of couples go blind like I did, and 78% of vendors feel as though these couples don't really have realistic expectations. They don't understand the value of the service they're providing, and that can lead to a bit of a discrepancy.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
So like I said at the top of the podcast, we are trying so hard to solve this for couples because it is such a huge pain point. So we just launched the Not Budget Advisor. I am obsessed with this tool. It is the thing I wish I had when I got married. It's kind of like crowdsourcing all of your friends to be like, wait, how much did you spend on that? What does that cost? It is a digital tool.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
And it really provides a real wedding budget estimate based on your location, based on your priorities of what you want to spend. And it really leans into all of the insights we've collected from all of these couples on average costs, things that might be influencing pricing. And it's packed full of some of that really helpful service, right?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
Those tips, those tricks, those things you don't want to forget, the things you might want to account for. Our editorial team is really hoping to do this journey hand in hand and leave you at the altar. with totally in budget wedding venue, wedding costs, nothing in the red, everything in the black. That is our goal with this tool. And I think it's been really, really successful.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
We have seen so many couples jump in and play around with it and say, oh my gosh, this is so great. Like I didn't know this is how much things cost. So I think you can really utilize it as an early research tool.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
So if you're getting married or if you just got engaged, even before you start planning, go in and do a little research, figure out where you might like to have your wedding, do a little research on what it costs to actually get married there. So a wedding in Alabama is going to cost you a lot different than a wedding in Baltimore, Maryland, or then a wedding in San Francisco, California, right?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
They're all different. So if you pick your location, you can start to narrow down what things actually cost. And the budget tool is this really cool little wheel. So you can start to break apart those pie charts. Maybe you really love music and you want to have a bigger piece of your pie dedicated to music and your budget.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
So you can really start to customize it in a way that makes sense for you as a couple. And ultimately, that will leave you in a really great spot to start wisely spending your funds.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
If you go into well research, I think that you can be realistic about what things cost and you can stay within budget. But I would always say about 10% is a safe cushion. Just in case you have unexpected expenses that come up. And what I mean by that is like, let's say...
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
It's typically warm at the time of year where you're getting married, but a cold front comes through and now you need to like roll in some heaters for your outdoor event, right? Just little things like that that might come up or extra alterations that you need on your dress or turns out you have to... seat a couple extra guests, whatever that cost might be.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
It's really nice to be able to cushion yourselves just a little bit so you can feel confident that you are going to stay within budget and that you have that cushion just in case some extra expenses come along the way.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
I know, you know, and that's why it's really helpful. I say, you know, relying on these vendors because those are things that like they won't forget about. Right. But you don't think about it until the 11th hour and now you're scrambling and you might be overpaying on the podium. So I think that is another great plug for the beauty of a vendor team.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
Yeah. So I think it's important that we all remember that social media is just a highlight reel, right? And there are some of those amazing weddings that take place, but there are plenty of weddings that are done in a more modest fashion. I also think that it's important to think about budgets in a subjective manner. So what can you realistically afford?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
You don't want to go into debt over what you hope to put out on Instagram, right? And getting back to that earlier thought where I was joking about the linens, right? When you close your eyes and think about some of the best aren't necessarily the most expensive. I was at a wedding where someone used their escort cards to write personalized notes to everyone at the wedding.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
And it was just so magical and very low cost, but high impact. I still remember it and will always remember it. So I think there's a lot of moments where you can say, okay, maybe I don't have the money to do that, but what are the things that I'm going to really leave my guests with? How are they going to walk away from this wedding saying, oh my gosh, that was so authentically them.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
And I'll remember it forever for these reasons. So it isn't always about the stuff. It's about the couple. It's about the feeling, the energy, and that doesn't necessarily have to be costly. So don't let the money dysmorphia get you.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
Think about the things you really want to prioritize and use your budget thoughtfully towards those things and realize that at the end of the day, you can have a very personalized, authentic celebration that is very memorable to your guests without going over budget.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
Absolutely. Yes. And I think that's something that you have to kind of go in with, right? I always say to couples, think of the three priorities that you and your partner can align on and where you want to spend. And then think about all the things you're willing to compromise on because you will have to compromise. You can't splurge on everything.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
And as long as you both are aligned and you kind of put it out there early on, then when the blow comes and you do have to compromise, you don't feel so badly about it. You're like, Oh, yeah, I kind of knew that that was going to come up later. So I'm OK with that. We can move on. And I think it just makes you feel better about where you are putting those dollars.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
OK, tell me more about the not budget advisor. Yes. OK, so it is such a power tool. It's providing couples with a wedding budget estimate. of what actual couples spend. So this is data derived from real couples who got married, like really recently, not 10 years ago, how much did they spend and how much did they spend on different items at the wedding?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
So this is helping people not only to have, you know, data around what the average cost of wedding is. This is the cost of a wedding where you want to get married. So you can really think about the location and you can really think about the costs across the whole map. Because depending on where you get married, it can really impact the cost. So regionality is certainly part of it.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
And then prioritizing those vendors. If you and your partner are on the same page, you can use the tool to really help you prioritize your spend based on the moments that you really want to emphasize, whether that's music, food, guest experience. You can also see pricing estimates.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
And what I love about this is once you've kind of got your budget in a good place and you're really ready to like pull the trigger, you can actually be connected with vendors in the not vendor marketplace that can help you bring this to life.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
So not only are we giving you all this great data to arrive at a realistic number to hopefully keep you in the black and to keep you from going over budget, but then we're willing to partner with these vendors and pair you with people who can really bring that vision to life. And I think that's the big part of it, right?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
So not only do you have to align on what you're going to spend and what's realistic, but then you need to meet those people who can realistically offer you flowers at a certain cost or a cake at a certain cost. And I think that's where the magic comes in.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
So the best part about the tool is it's real data. We have over 20,000 couples who recently got married in these locations who shared with us what they spent. And that is so much more valuable than guesstimating on what you think something might cost. So it's also really helpful, like I said, as a research tool before you do set that big budget number of really researching the cost.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
So for her in Harbor, Maine, what's that going to cost? What is a realistic amount to spend or an average spend on a wedding venue? You can also see how much each category impacts your total estimated budget. So you can select or deselect vendor categories in this pie chart. So then you can really see how your money is moving around in real time. And I'm a visual person.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
So I am here for the pie chart. I'm not a spreadsheet girly. And I love that you can see kind of the shifts in real time. So again, it's just linking all those pieces and trying to take a lot of the guesswork and a lot of the stressful part of planning and make it totally seamless.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
Okay, so I have two. Can I have two? Two savings. All right. So two, first one up bonus. Yeah. So the first one is to prioritize with your partner on the three big things you want to spend on. I think that is such a huge miss not to get on the same page as it goes. So do that with your partner and utilize that to make all your decisions.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
And then the second thing is going back to something I said earlier, there's no such thing as a perfect day. So if you throw out that notion of the perfect day and everything going a certain way or having the right flowers or the right this or the right that, you're going to really live in the moment and be present for that commitment you're making.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
And it will be the perfect day because you will have married your person in front of all your loved ones and it will be memorable and magical, even if it isn't perfect.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
Well, and it also gives you a great story to tell afterwards, right? Like the best stories are often the things that you didn't plan or that do go a little awry that you can kind of chuckle about down the road. So I say go for the imperfect.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
Sort of. I was at a wedding this past weekend. I haven't been a bridesmaid in the hot minute, but I did wear some pretty, pretty memorable dresses over the years. But yes, my gig is all weddings all the time. And I love it.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
Absolutely. Doesn't everyone? You know, for me, I actually started working at The Knot just before I got married. So I went into it not knowing much and learning really quickly between August and November of my wedding date, all the things I didn't know. I used The Knot to help plan my wedding, but it was just enough to second guess all those decisions too.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
But the biggest mistake I think I made, and I feel like so many couples do this, is I just picked an arbitrary number with my parents and made that my budget. And And then, oh gosh, as we started doing research and as I started figuring out what I wanted, I realized that number didn't quite really match with my vision.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
And so I ended up having to adjust my budget and I did end up going a little over budget. So I'm really excited because we are aiming to fix that at The Knot. It's our life quest now.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
Sure. So we do a ton of studies every year because we love data at the knot. And our knot 2023 real wedding study revealed that the average cost of a wedding is around $35,000. And I just have to caveat that because average means so many different things, right? Depending on the region you get married in, your guest count, how many vendors you use, budgets can vary widely.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
And so it's important to think of it as an average. That being said, I feel like you very rarely talk to someone who's like, Sign me up for that average wedding, right? Everybody has their own vision. So I think it's a number we know and we have the data to support.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
But I always kind of tread lightly there because it can really look differently depending on the type of wedding you're having and where you're doing it.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
So the most expensive item is typically the venue. It's one of those things you book really early on and it's a big chunk of your budget. Sometimes it also includes catering, but if not, then catering usually comes next. And then we see couples spend a lot of money on music, photography, and flowers. So those are where we see the most of the wedding budget going to.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
But again, it's so hyper-personalized. Weddings these days have so many factors that go into it around personalization and authenticity to the couple. So everyone spends a little differently, but that's the general consensus of how the budget gets spent.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
Okay. So I think the most important thing is to budget for the entirety of something. And I feel like that gets lost in translation a bit. So, you know, for example, you're budgeting for your wedding dress, right? But you're not thinking, wait, I'm going to want shoes and I'm going to need alterations. And what about my jewelry?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
So I always say, when you think about your wedding budget, think about the entirety of each expense. But some of the common things that we see people kind of just forget to include or think about are event rentals. So if your venue includes tables and things like that, great, but you might also want to bring in a lounge or a specialty dance floor. Another sneaky cost is wedding insurance.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
I got married in an art museum in Florida and I was required to have wedding insurance. And that certainly was not on my early line items of my budget. Also thinking about your vendors. A lot of times there's travel fees associated with them, meals, and then gratuity. So it's just really thinking about the entirety of the expenses. You start to put those in your pie chart.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
If you have a wedding planner, should that person do it? Yes. So it's a great question. And we always say that tipping is totally at the sole discretion of the couple. That being said, I think it's such a nice way to recognize the hard work that goes into pulling off a wedding. Your vendors are out there. They're part of the service industry. And I think giving a tip is definitely appreciated.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
And I think fairly customary. When we got married, my husband and I did use our wedding planner to deliver all the tips on the wedding day, but we wrote a handwritten note and put them in an envelope. And in most cases we did cash. I think cash is It's still king, but I think it is one of those things where, you know, you have to feel out the services you're getting and make those decisions.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
But nowadays, my goodness, you buy a cup of coffee tip, you get groceries delivered. I mean, it's just so part of our culture. I think we will be remiss not to do it to those hardworking vendors.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
Yes. Overall, I would say working with vendors is going to save you dollars, save you stress, save you time. So I think partnering with them is so invaluable. Hiring a wedding planner is a definite flex. I hired a wedding planner right away and I was so relieved because at the time I was actually planning my wedding elsewhere.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
So having somebody who already knew the industry and knew the niche of where I was getting married was so helpful. She recommended vendors. I who knew my vision or could match my vision, who knew what I wanted to carry out, who'd actually worked at the venue where I got married. So I think a wedding planner can absolutely help you.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
But I would say anybody on your vendor team can offer really invaluable advice and can also be a great resource when it comes to the budget. So share your wedding budget, share your costs with these people and let them help you because they are truly an invaluable resource when it comes to planning.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
Totally. Yeah. Yes. A couple say that we found it when one of our surveys couple said that 68% of it was managing the stress and 34% of it was aiding in decision-making.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
I mean, you do get a bit of decision fatigue with all of these things and having somebody by your side, like a wedding planner who can help advise and they know what you're trying to do and they're helping you bring this vision to life. It is huge.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
Yes, absolutely. So there are so many ways to save. So for example, If you hired a wedding planner and you found a venue you love, maybe the Saturday night option is a little out of your budget, but you could pick an off-peak time, whether that's seasonality, whether that's getting married on a Friday. Catering.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
This is another easy one where if you're working with a good caterer, you can say, here's what I have to spend. How can I do what I'm wanting to do for a little less money? It might be serving more in-season foods. It might be having just a signature cocktail or two and then having wine and beer at your open bar. So there's lots of creative ways to do that.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
I also think that picking a band or a DJ is a great save in music. Sometimes we see couples do both or some people will say, oh, you know, the DJ will save you cash. You're really just better off choosing one and allowing that person to work within your budget. So a band, it might be going from a 20 piece band to an eight piece band or something of that like photography is also a big expense.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
And I feel like one of the things I love is hiring somebody who is local to your wedding location. This means you don't have to pay for the travel. You can usually cut back on some of those expenses and wait until a little later to work on all the after effects of like the album and all of those prints. Sometimes you can spend that money later.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
So if you don't have it in your budget right away, you could ask for it down the road, which is another great flex. And lastly, flowers. I think that so many people go into it not knowing how much a peony or a ranuncula might cost. So talking to your florist about the look you're after. Sometimes they can choose alternate stems that might be more affordable, also help you repurpose arrangements.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
So maybe arrangements you had at your ceremony setting can be repurposed at the reception. It's a great way to make your dollar just go a little further.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
Yeah. Oh, I love Elaine. She was, she was on our cover. She had a beautiful super wedding. And I think her advice is so sound, right? You spend all this time planning your wedding. It's so nice to be able to have the memory of that. So I would absolutely agree with capturing that photography is huge. I would also say a videographer,
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
A lot of people don't think about that until later in their planning and they've already started to spend quite a bit of their budget. But I watch our wedding video all the time. My kids love it. And I think now that we're in this era of video where you've got audio and you're seeing video all the time on social media and websites, you're used to that kind of live action.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
And so being able to hire a great videographer who will edit a beautiful vignette of your day is such a wonderful keepsake.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
Absolutely. You're so right. You cannot splurge on everything, nor should you. We don't want people going over budget. I think it's super important to pick a couple of things that are a value to you. So we ended up getting married at a museum, an art museum, and we did a lot of our activities outside. So we had our ceremony and a reception outside. And at first I had this really big flower budget.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
And as I got out there, I thought, gosh, this is really beautiful. There's a beautiful trees, a beautiful setting. All the sculptures were lit at night. So we ended up scaling back on our floral budget. I still had panties in my bouquet, but we did greenery down the centers of the table and we ended up hanging some lanterns in some of the trees as opposed to doing some of more of the flowers.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
We also scaled back on the idea of a favor. We asked our guests to travel for the wedding and it was a bit of a weekend affair. So we did welcome bags, but at the actual wedding, we didn't do any favors. We served everybody a hot pretzel on the way out the door and we had a photo booth, but we didn't invest in anything tangible for them to take home.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
So those were two ways we kind of cut back a little bit or saved a little bit so we could prioritize other things in our spending.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
Absolutely. So I chuckle a little because we do, we all have this notion of the perfect day. And I just want to caveat that there's no such thing. Things will go wrong on your wedding day. It never fails. We hung tons and tons of market lights on the beach for our welcome party. And the whole thing got rained out. We had to go to plan B.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
So all of my lighting budget on these market lights were never seen or appreciated by my guests. You know, it rained on our wedding day. We had to make a few pivots. We cut into the styrofoam layer of our cake. Our champagne flutes broke. Like at the end of the day, we were still married and it was still an amazing day. So I always say to people, the perfect day is what you make it.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
And, you know, priority spending. Yeah. Priority spending on the things that are most important to you. The market lights were not most important to me, but... We did it. And now I'm kind of like, gosh, I wish I maybe would have spent a little less there. There's a lot of little things you stress about and feel like you need to do the extra or the upgrade on, right?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
How To Have An Unforgettable Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
Whether that's like the linens or the china and those things do add up. And at the end of the day, if you were to close your eyes and imagine the best weddings you have gone to, you're probably not thinking about those small upgrades that couples made. You know, you're thinking about the great time you had, the vibe, the energy.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
Okay, so this is such a common question. And I love that you asked it, Colleen, because I feel like... I don't know about you guys, but you can't go anywhere anymore without being requested for a tip. Someone gives you a cup of coffee, you know, you get in a taxi, it's everywhere. And I think our tipping culture has changed a lot over the years. You aren't wrong, you know, in terms of
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
tipping, ultimately they're at the discretion of you and your partner. So it's a great way to recognize the hard work that your vendors are putting in. It's a service industry job, right? A lot of people are accustomed to tips. Traditionally, business owners of larger companies don't get tipped. So how you were raised and what you learn is still the case.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
However, you know, a lot of these vendors who are bringing your day together aren't really large companies. They're smaller companies. There might be an owner and a two or three person team. Additionally, sometimes the service will really exceed your expectations.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
Maybe not the Costco cake, but maybe your photographer is going to be juggling four cameras all night and just capturing all those details you have been planning for the last year. And you'll want to Really honor their work by showing some gratuity. Also, a good thing to keep in mind, Colleen, is to check your contract.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
Sometimes vendors include tips as part of the contract, kind of like when you go to a restaurant and they say gratuity is included for parties of eight or more. Sometimes a caterer, for example, will have a tip in their contract. So you just want to make sure you read that closely. Another great way to show your appreciation if you don't want to tip monetarily is to write a thank you note.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
I think that we are in such a unique age of technology and text messages and whatnot, nothing like a handwritten note just to really show your gratitude. And furthermore, So many of these pros really rely on you as their best advertising.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
So going on to a website like that and going into the marketplace to write a review of your wedding pro is just a great way to honor the service they gave you and to help promote their business. We have an entire vendor tip sheet on our website. So you can get the breakdown of like, what's the typical percentage for a hairstylist? How much should you tip a photographer?
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
What is the going rate for a musician or a delivery person? So that will help you break down. But again, it's really about what you and your partner feel comfortable with and about the service you receive and how you want to show that gratuity. The other thing I would say is, you know, think about people who might get a little overlooked, like maybe your bartenders.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
And again, I would just double check that venue contract because it does include catering. There might be a gratuity already built in for the servers and people like that. Also musicians. I don't know if you have anybody there, if any parking attendants or I always like to think about the people who might get overlooked because they often are working the hardest.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
And that's a really nice way just to show your gratitude to them as well. That is a great point. Yeah.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
Yes, I think anywhere from 15 to 25% of the total fee is pretty normal for people like that.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
This is a great question, Colleen, and I love the way you're thinking about it. So the short answer is I don't think you do. I don't think you need to provide a ride from the hotel to the church given the proximity. I hear you on the heat. I hear you on the heels. But there are other alternatives.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
So if you wanted to do something thoughtful and kind for people who might need extra help getting to the church, you could always try and do a transportation discount code through a ride share service like an Uber or a Lyft. which could allow people to take advantage of that if it's available in the area, or let people know if there's transportation.
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Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
Check with your hotel too, the recommended hotels. They might have a shuttle that usually takes people within a mile distance of the hotel. I think the most important thing to consider is the transportation to the reception and the way home. You know, you want everyone to get home safely if they're drinking.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
And I think that's the key thing when planning a wedding and a reception is that transportation piece on the back half. So we always say if your locations are more than 30 minutes apart, it's worth considering providing transportation for all wedding guests. This means they won't be inconvenienced with ride chairs or a long wait or a long drive. Everyone will arrive on time.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
But it always comes down to your personal preference. So I think what you've outlined makes a lot of sense for your budget. And I think it's still very thoughtful and making sure that your guests are getting that ride to the reception and a safe ride home. And I think they can find their way to the church.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
That makes sense. And that's kind of one of the things I love about wedding planning today is it really is your personal preference. There are no rules. You get to do what feels right to you as a couple. And yes, what you're referencing is our Not 2025 Real Wedding Study, where we survey all sorts of data, namely the average cost. It comes up a lot.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
And the average cost across the nation is $33,000. But yes, in specific cities, it's either more or less. So when you get into an urban environment like your San Francisco or my New York City, everything costs more. So I think what it gets down to then is, A, do you have the savings and do you want to spend your money that way?
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
And if you don't, how can you spend less than that average and still have an event that is memorable, that reflects who you are as a couple, and that is special? And it is absolutely doable. You know, you both are thinking about this from a very budget mindset, which I love because that means that your money is going where you want it to
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
whether that's a trip to japan or planning for your future together so we find a lot of couples are being really intentional about all their decisions and how they're spending um you know and they're they're really making sure that they're well versed in how much things cost and And that just allows you to be a little bit more thoughtful about your budget from the get-go.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
If you know you only have so much to spend, you can do what it sounds like you did, Colleen. What are my number one, two, and three priorities? What are my partner's top three priorities? And how can we align on them so that we can be spending our budget with intention and be really comfortable with how we spent our money without going over budget?
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
Yeah, so this is going to sound kind of counterintuitive, but stick with me here. I think the number one tip I always give couples is to hire a wedding vendor team. It sounds like, you know, you're spending money on things, but truly when you work closely with these vendors, you will be able to save money.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
You'll be able to stay within your budget and still get your desired outcome, whether that's a style of cake you like or florals that represent your vision. You know, these vendors are so keen in bringing your day to life and doing it in a magical way. And they're so good at what they do. They're really solution oriented. They can provide you with a lot of advice.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
They can give you alternatives that you can stay within budget. So I think it's a great way to get creative while still sticking to your budget.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
And like I said, there's a whole article on tipping on the knot.com. So if you get stuck or you're like, Ooh, what did she say about this? You can go back and check it out on our website and it'll help you budget ahead. And I think that's so smart because that is a thing like kind of like the alterations around your dress.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
You might've budgeted a thousand dollars for your dress and you spent $999 and oops, now you need to get some alterations or you need to get some undergarments. So those are those little sneaky costs that add up and that can make people go over budget. So adding those tips in early is a huge win for you.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
Oh, so glad to be here. I'm hoping I have answers to all your questions.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
So yeah, I think it is definitely a common thing we see. It's just competitive in terms of time of year. People want to get married. Certain venues are more popular than others. And the same goes for pros. A lot of couples will say, no, I have to have this photographer. I have to have this venue. And so then you're really kind of
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
playing this game against dates and timing and just do all the stars align to pull off this dream wedding. So it definitely is something we hear more often. I think people are really deliberate with their choices. They are looking to give their guests great experience. And so every reservation, every choice, every guest on the list requires just a lot of thought and input.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Spend Smarter This Wedding Season: Travel, Tipping, and More, (featuring The Knot)
And it is a little bit of that stars aligning for that perfect day.