Kyle Brandt
Appearances
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
It's like the happiest he's ever been in his life. And I mean, I mean like in all different ways.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
A little bit. Yeah. It's funny to think about it. Like, can you even remember the last Bills loss? It's been so long before the Rams game.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
They lost to the Texans that night. And the take was like, wow, Diggs got over on the Bills. And there was this viral moment of Diggs, like, side-eyeing him. And we haven't heard from Diggs since he got hurt. And Allen's taken over the world. But loves his offensive coordinator. Never more comfortable. Loves the guys in the room. And I don't think this is irrelevant. Like...
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
he's engaged to a movie star and a pop star and his personal life is out of control, like over the hill, over the moon, amazing. And he has a good run game and a good offensive line. Like, what do you want as a quarterback? My line's awesome. My running backs are awesome. I have like a really cool girl that I'm with and like my receivers are cool guys.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
And I know they're not Calvin Johnson, but like they make plays for me. I think he's so happy and so confident. I think it's great.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
I think he did. Yeah.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
In a regular year, Lamar, there's Lamar fatigue. He's already got it a couple of times. Yeah. And I, listen, I was, I want Saquon to win a batter. Just be cool. he would have to have the perfect campaign. Like, he'd have to break the Dixon record. He'd have to have the touchdown, everything. Allen just took it away. I'm not sure it can be Saquon. Oh, really?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
But I think as the Allen thing, especially as it pertains to Mahom, my concern is that that Rams game 20 years from now when, like, you tell your kids, your grandkids about Josh Allen, like, that's the Josh Allen experience. He's unbelievably cool superhero action star and the Bills lose.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
What are you doing? Like, is he... I just worry that he's... like Dominique Wilkins or something. Like, it's just so awesome. Incredible talent. What did it amount to? He's even said it. He's like, he said it. I'm sick of winning t-shirts. He has a whole stack of t-shirts that are like division champ t-shirts. And he's like, I want to get them out of my closet. I don't want these anymore.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
That's what he's known for at this point. Because if they lose in the playoffs, if they lose in the playoff this year to the Chiefs, What do you think if you're a Bills fan? Like this Chiefs team sucks. We can't even beat this one.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
It's a big playoff.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Marlon Jackson interception sealed it. And it was like, holy shit, they beat Brady. And this is my test for the Chiefs right now. So we're picking away at all of them, and they barely win, and all their numbers are terrible, and the offense looks legitimately bad except for one drive every game. Let's say they get the one seed. They get the bye.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
The division round, you're watching on your couch, and the Chiefs lose to Pittsburgh or Baltimore or Houston or somebody like that. Are you surprised? Because I'm shocked. I'll fall off my chair if they lose the division round, even as bad as they've been. That's my respect for them. I agree completely.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Yeah, the Raiders killed them on Christmas. Yes, it was like a super weird year.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Yes.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Without their best running back.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Yeah, I mean, the Chargers are built like Michigan.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
No, definitely. I think the Chargers are going to win a playoff game. I like them still. I'm not jumping ship on the Chargers.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Without the best receiver, without the best running back, they play great defense.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Yeah. And I don't like that match. I don't like the Chargers. But the distinction, I think, with the Chiefs' weapons, it's like, I think there's having players that are just kind of average players But then there's having players who are just kind of average the way they're playing who are made guys. Like Jandre Hopkins and Kelsey, even Juju.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Those are guys who have been around, who've been in playoff games. Those are the guys who are like, oh, shit, we turned on the division run. Kelsey had nine catches and two touchdowns. They've done it. It's not average players who just suck and have never done it. These guys are all a friend of ours. You know what I mean? They can turn it on.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Yeah.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Yeah, okay.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
You get it. Like you have this big play. Yeah, big defensive play. And then Jesus Christ, Nakua and Cooper were just doing anything they wanted.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
They thought that, okay, so Matt Milano's back now. He was the heart and soul of their defense. He's back there going to stop it. And Terrell Bernard's amazing in the middle. But they did this Blake Corum thing that we haven't seen a lot of them this year. And then, obviously, Kyron. I have a little bit of a spicy take on the Bills-Rams thing is, I actually think that loss was good for the Bills.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
And I'll tell you why. Everybody was just on their nuts across the whole country because they did a lateral play and they won in the snow and they're the best team ever. They go across the country, they get their ass whipped a little bit. Now they play the Lions, which is one of the biggest games of the regular season. I think they need to have their shit humbled a little bit. Just a little bit.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
They were such a darling for about... three or four days, and then they weren't that good. And I think that get that loss out of the way now maybe and have a little bit of a wake-up call. I actually was not shocked that they lost that game because McVay is amazing. And when Cup and Nakua are out there for the Rams this year, the Rams are 6-2. Like, they're a very, very good team.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
And their defense is, like, super young, super doesn't give a crap. I'll hit Josh Allen late, talk shit to him, don't care.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
like the Rams are if I had to pick a team that holy shit a team that's in the Super Bowl I'd pick the Rams as like the holy shit team your holy shit team my holy shit team is the Rams like that is a dark horse Cinderella all that like they have the quarterback I think they have the best coach in football and they have this crazy young defense who doesn't know they're not supposed to be that good yet they're my holy shit Super Bowl team I think the holy shit team has to be AFC
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
But I think... Like the Chargers would be a holy shit.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
I don't even know if they expected this.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
I really do think it was, all right, this will be a year and we'll lose in the wild card or whatever. But just Allen's been that good and defense has been that good. Can I give you like a surprise disgruntled team right now? I'm kind of with you, like I have a couple friends And they're Philly guys. And they're like beside themselves right now. They hate this team.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
They're like, we're going to lose. We're going to go one and done. They're panicking.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
The Eagles have won nine in a row. And they're like, nope. Hurts doesn't have it. Their kicker keeps missing. That freaks people out. He can't make one from 50 plus. He hasn't made one all year. After this game, this last game, the problem is, all right, they barely beat the Panthers. And people have to update their expectations of the Panthers. The Panthers aren't the Panthers of September.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
They're actually kind of good.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Like they almost beat the Chiefs.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
And so Eagles fans are like, we suck. First of all, the Panthers are pretty good. But then right after the game, A.J. Brown, after a win, the ninth in a row, they're like, A.J., what do you think you need to work on? He's like, passing. You got to get better at passing. Jesus, AJ, you won nine in a row. Like there's some issues with Hurts.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
And I think there's Eagles fans still don't totally believe in him. Just my friends. I think he's a really good player, but there's my friends.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
So coach and quarterback. And also I think AJ Brown is like, I'm tired of the Saquon shit. Like, we passed the ball the least in the whole team. They're ranked last in the league in pass attempts. They run it. They have an MVP running back. I don't know if he's liking that either. This reminds me of, I was talking to an MVP. There's nine in a row they've won, and they're like, they're pissed.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
So A.J. Brown's like, enough with the backwards hurdle. We get it. Enough with the sequence shit. Enough with the tush push.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
I don't know.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Jefferson always seems pretty gruntled. Even when he wasn't putting up numbers. Yeah, he seemed happy for Addison. Huge contract. Huge. Plays indoors. Like, everybody loves him. I think Jefferson's gruntled.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
It's nuts. So my background in Sam Darnold is, okay, was supposed to be the number one overall pick, fell a little bit, Baker rises up and steal it. From that point, every single coach slash guru, all the McVeighs and Shanahan's and like Jordan Palmer types, they all swear that Sam's the man. Oh, Darnold's incredible. Darnold's got it.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
And as a fan, you're like, he mostly sucks every time we see him. It just feels like when somebody keeps recommending this show, you got to watch this show. It's so good. It's so good. And you're like, it's not that good. They're like, watch another episode. I promise.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Yeah.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
The show is finally amazing. And all those coaches were like, he's amazing. And yet. They may just cut Bateman this year.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
I don't know where he was. Top ten.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
But you loved him.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
They were good early. Listen, same organization, Vikings, a few years back. They're in the NFC title game. Their quarterback is Case Keenum. Right. Killing it. Making miracles to Stephon Diggs. Like, oh my God, Keenum. Yeah. Moved on. Went to Cousins. It was the right move.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Also, he doesn't say shit. He's a model citizen. Great reputation.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
The take is very insulting to him. Here's the take. Okay. You have Jefferson and Addison and Aaron Jones and Hawkinson and KOC is your coach. of course you're succeeding. Right. It's the Brock Purdy. We can put somebody in there. It's the Brock Purdy.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
It's going to happen. And we've seen, Cousins won 11 and one. as a Vikings quarterback. And they won every, and they got to the plate and they lost to Daniel Jones. So that's part of the reason why everyone's like, I don't know, Darnold, I feel like we've seen this shit before.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
That's why you're saying no matter how much they win, you don't believe in them because we could look up and they lose in the wildcard round.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Yeah. To your point, though, let's say the Vikings are like, we love Sam, but we have a very bright future for JJ. We want to be in bench. What is the line that the Vikings get to where they're like, well, we're in the Super Bowl. We can't get rid of Sam Darnold now. Do they have to win it? I think you have to get to the Super Bowl. Because already, Case Keenum was in the title game with them.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
They've already been that a few years ago. I think if he gets to the Super Bowl, I guess you're coming back.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Those three teams in the North. They're 28-3 outside of the North. They beat everybody.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
They're up there. I think they're all top five teams. Who knows? They're 28-3 when they're not playing each other. So they kick the shit out of everybody. I think the Lions' defense reputation is down right now because of what we just saw. I think they'll be better. I think they'll be back. I still think they're going to win the Super Bowl. I still think it's the Lions.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Lions over Pittsburgh, you think, maybe? Or Chiefs?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Well, yeah.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Where are you at with Russ? Isn't this weird for you to be saying that?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Have you done the Russ pop culture comp? Like what this is? because like I was doing it the other day with Peter. I think it's, it's, it's Travolta. And the comeback Seattle was all of the seventies and eighties. And he's a superstar. He's the coolest rockstar ever. Denver was look, who's talking. It's pathetic. And then like four and two, Mike Tomlin put them in and it was just Pulp Fiction.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
And like, he's like the coolest guy ever now and can't miss. It's an amazing.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
You go, you go Lady Gaga. Yeah.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
That's big. That's the 4-2 Pittsburgh.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
I always would think that Tomlin wouldn't be here for the Russ theatrics that we used to see. Tomlin's good at that. He seems so affected.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Yeah. And Fryermuth. They're really good. They're an amazing team. The Russ thing, you see comebacks. They suck. You never see when someone's a superstar... then sucks, and then is a superstar again. The only ones I can think of are Kurt Warner, who went St.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
And then the Giants, who was just weird, and then Arizona to the Super Bowl again. And then even a slightly less version of that, Carson Palmer was with the Bengals. He was with the Raiders, and I don't even remember that. And then he was with Arizona and was also in a title game. But the good shit and then good again is really hard to pull off.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
We also might get Pittsburgh Denver in the playoffs. That'd be pretty fun.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Coaches and quarterbacks. When we do playoff picks to start the season, about four years ago, I learned this. I always pick Pittsburgh no matter what. Picked them this year to make the playoffs. And everyone's like, you're an idiot. They have no quarterback. I'm like, I know, but just always pick Pittsburgh. They get in the playoffs, always. And I pick McVay now too every year, the Rams.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
That was another one.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Who did I say? The Rams.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Holy shit, this team is in the Super Bowl.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
I hate the Texans. No, they're not good. The Texans are definitely going to play a Saturday playoff game like they always do. And it'll be like one o'clock.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
The Caleb moment?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Houston's just dog shit on this.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Oh, another third and 10 in Houston. Great.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Isn't it crazy we've talked to playoffs this long, we haven't even mentioned the Ravens? Well, because we know they're going to be there. I know, but what are they going to do when they get there? Like, I don't have them in the Super Bowl. Does anybody? Their stock's low now.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Lamar media is weird.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Dolphins fans are frosty, for sure.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
It's also one of the most unusual fantasy seasons in history because of what happened with McCaffrey. That was so strange.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
That's why you play fantasy because of that Allen game against the Rams.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
I think the Jets fans are a little in shock. Whereas the Giants fans are like, I don't know. Like when I run into people on the street and they're like, oh, you're on the football show. And I go, yeah. And the thing I always say to them, wherever I am, I'm like, oh, who's your team? Cowboys, Texans. The Giants fans always go... Like, they're so apologetic.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Oh, no. Our show that we do on NFL Network started in 2016. Every single year, the Jets and Giants have sucked. They've always sucked. The only one that didn't suck was the Giants team when they went on the boat with the Odell thing. Like, that's the only glimpse.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
That was a fever dream.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
But so I think the Giants fans are like, we know we're terrible and we're embarrassed. I think the Jets fans were like, they bought some lottery tickets and before they won it, they like put a down payment on a mansion and a boat and they're like, I'm going to win this shit. And then match one number on their lottery ticket.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
And I think, so I think they're like, their mental health is in question and they're in shock. It sucks.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
We're winning this year. We've got a great rotation.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
The one he keeps retweeting about. It was the day the Jets Niners were going to play. I love it. I just want to go on record. I think this will be a complete disaster. Everyone will be fired and Rodgers will retire. And he's probably going to be right. The Jets season. It might have been the last great tweet. It was a great tweet. We talked about that on our show.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
We even brought up Fennessey's tweet. But this season for the Jets is not like a D or a D. It is an F. It is as bad as it could go. Short of like a tragedy happened off the field.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Oh, just as a whole?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
I think it's like a B-plus because we have just some really good teams. Like I mentioned, that thing in the NFC North is fun. That Bills-Rams game we just watched was amazing. that Lions game against the Packers was 34-31. Like we've got some Rembrandts. We've got some, like when you say, what was the game of the year? We have like eight or nine games of the year.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
And I like that the quarterbacks aren't hurt.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
That's really what I care about. Allen's out there. Mahomes out there. Even Burrow on a losing team. You get to watch those guys. You don't have to turn on the Thursday nighter and it's Taylor Heineke versus Mitch Trubisky.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
We lost Aiden, but I heard it's not as bad as we thought.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
All you care about is you got a guy.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Well, I can't believe I did the B plus then without mentioning it. I mean, I think like they are huge. There's two massive blemishes on the season. The Jets, just complete disaster. And the Bears. I mean, the Bears are a massive disappointment from start to finish. If the Jets are an F, the Bears are a D plus.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
You're supposed to get the bump. The Saints got the bump with that guy. The clogger bumped you back. That Niners-Bears game was maybe the worst game of the year. I mean, it was an unbelievably terrible, pathetic game.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
You thought the Bears were going to win?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
They were way worse than they were under Matt Eberflus. Think about that. They looked way worse at the game. Like they should have brought Iberflues back. They would have had a better performance.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Yeah. The locker room was so excited about the new guy and they're going to be ready to play. They were so bad in that game.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
I'm glad you brought that up.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Because I have landed on this take, and I say it all, never hire an interim coach. I don't care what happens. The interim coach is, you get out of a miserable marriage. You're just so pissed, and the next girlfriend you meet, you fucking marry her. You don't take her to Cabo. You marry her.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Have her fling. Do it. Fine. She made me tune this out. It was incredible. Watch the Saints win a couple more games, and they'll be like, I don't know. Darren Rizzi gets them to compete. Don't hire Darren Rizzi. Do respect him.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Damn right. Changing out, 200, their car.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Yeah, I like pit boss coach. And now he's the special teams coach again. But no, don't ever hire the interim coach. You're marrying the fling after the marriage. It's terrible.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Yeah.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Craig, have you had some takes on where Shador is going to go? I mean, he certainly feels like a Raider to me.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
It's a perfect fit. It's so Raiders-y. What if the Giants get the number one pick? Because the worst fit of all time is the Mara family and the Sanders family. Oh, my God.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
But what if they get the number one pick and he's the guy? Raiders feels perfect. The Giants might get it, though.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
And Bowers is sitting right there now. He already has a stud. And like, let's just have a carnival. Make Deion the coach. Why not? Have Shadruby the quarterback. It'd be great content.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
OKC’s Revenge, NBA Cup Nitpicks, and NFL Season Fun Grades with David Jacoby, Kirk Goldsberry, Kyle Brandt, and Craig Horlbeck
Well, we had it in Pierce. Like that's the guy. We smoked cigars. I won a Super Bowl. But he just looks miserable now because they hired the interim coach. You don't do that. Right. Can't do it.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Hey, Rewatchables fans, you already knew we were coming to Boston for a sold-out show on March 27th, but what you didn't know is we're sticking around that weekend. We're going to host our first ever Rewatchables Film Festival while we're in Boston. We're screening some of our favorite movies, movies that we have done on this podcast.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And then we get a little weird with Interview with the Vampire, and all of a sudden we're at Jerry Maguire into Eyes Wide Shut, Vanilla Sky, which is kind of like the first Mission Impossible. That's kind of the second Cruise Prime. Then we end up with that long stretch following Oprah's Sofa, where we get Reacher, we get some good ones, some bad ones.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
It's a little like when Brady didn't win a Super Bowl for a while. And then Top Gun Maverick. And then some mission impossibles. Now Cruz is like in his fourth prime.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah. That other prime. Yeah. So four prime, but Kyle, this was the first cruise prime and he's basically playing variations of Pete Maverick Mitchell in as many movies as possible. Where does cold trickle rank for you in the cruise rankings? Cause I was kind of maybe one of my least favorite cruise characters of this run.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Days of thunder. I guess it's sports movie month. Let's go.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, and then Leo kind of followed that blueprint a little bit too. How can I work with great directors and great stars? But yeah, this is a great run. So, and then he's in Few Good Men and The Firm. You know, Few Good Men is like the super cocky, sarcastic cruise. Rain Man is the full of confidence, charisma cruise. Cocktail is, to me, peak cruise. That's like my favorite cruise.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I just love cocktail cruise. And then this is kind of in the Top Gun camp, right? CR is there. I guess Color of Money is a big charisma, like street tough cruise.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
He's from Eagle Rock.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Kyle, do you think Cruz was trying to make this guy like enigmatic and Trying to figure him out. Was this like, was that like the cruise angle? Cause it's a pretty muted cruise performance. Like you could argue this easily just could have been Kevin Costner. Like this isn't like a cruise dependent role. Whereas the other cruise movies, like you can't have cocktail without cruise.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
You gotta see me drive. Woo!
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
You can't have few good men without cruise this. I feel like you could have other actors.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And Cruz, basically it is like watching, uh, like LeBron on like the 2018 calves just being like, I'll turn it on this game and put up a 32, 11 and 12. Yeah. He has like four scenes where he's like, I'm going to cruise it up this scene. So it's enough that he still gets the win for being Cruz.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, I think if you're redoing this movie and you could cast anybody from any era, this is like a Brad Pitt mid-2000s part.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
This is like, you want the guy to be handsome, a little enigmatic. I can't read him. Cruise... Cruz has too much charisma to do that, and I think he wanted to be that, but eventually you can't contain your inner Tom Cruise if you're Tom Cruise, Kyle.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Maybe the best hair he's ever had.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
You left out one piece of the cruise pie, the... The blank face of fear. I don't know how this is going to turn out. Maybe I shouldn't do this, which they use leverage perfectly with the smoke scene. Yeah, driving through the wreck being the... The blank cruise, I'm not sure this is a good idea face.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
talk to me rowdy talk to me he's looking at rowdy's dog tags yeah it's like trickles re-engaging yes it's to the note the same motion and scene do you think they thought about calling rowdy goose or no goose burns um nicole kidman her first mainstream movie because dead crumb was an indie She's 23 years old in real life playing a brain surgeon.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
She looks... Fantastic.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And when you think she's been in our lives since dead calm, but really since this movie and it's a 35 year run and just thinking about what was that movie called? Baby girl, baby girl, fucking insane movie. And she's still cranking it along and making weird sex movies and still going this person here. It's, it's almost like watching like her, the Nicole Kidman now, like her redheaded daughter, uh,
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Is in this movie. Like, she just seems so young, and now you watch this movie with this whole backstory of, oh, Cruise and Kidman fell in love on this movie. CR, is this the prequel to Eyes Wide Shut for you?
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Okay, good. Yeah. Great. Cold Trickle, loosely based on the careers of Tim Richmond and Jeff Bodine. Mm-hmm. Tim Richmond, we did 30 for 30 in season one about, was a pretty crazy NASCAR driver, ended up getting HIV, passed away. Pretty tragic story.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah. Yeah. But Dale Earnhardt Jr. said he thought the movie was based on a rivalry between his dad and Bodine. And then they stole a bunch of NASCAR stuff like the Cole and Rowdy will drive to the dinner thing together. That came from an actual meeting when they're trying to get Earnhardt Sr. and Bodine to to to to kind of get along better. Cole deliberately blowing his engine by over revving.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
That was a famous Tim Richmond story. He did it. Trickle can't pit because the crew is too busy eating ice cream. Apparently that happened in 1987, Southern 500 with Benny Parsons. And then Cole and Rowdy destroying rental cars. Apparently in the 1950s, these two NASCAR superstars, I know you're very fond of them, Kyle. Joe Weatherly and Curtis Turner. Those are my guys.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Supposedly would just rent cars and then just fuck them up and race them.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
All right, fellas, I guess it's officially sports movie month. We did Rocky. We did best in show. We did days of thunder and we're more than halfway through March. This was a special Kyle Brandt request.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
You do? Yeah. You and Fantasy on your way to a shoot?
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Just crashing into each other.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I don't care. But if they did this about football and probably took the liberties they took with this movie, the three of us would be going nuts. We would. There'd be only 10 guys on the field for the final sequence. Like, what are they doing?
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I saw this movie the summer, I think it was after a sophomore year in college. I just saw it for Cruise. It didn't make me want to care about NASCAR at all. It did make me wonder why there weren't more NASCAR movies. And then every once in a while, what was that? Burt Reynolds movie with Sly Stallone, Burt Reynolds, Driven. Oh, yeah. 2000 range with Kit Pardue from Remember the Titans. For sure.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And that was like, every decade somebody goes for it. But I mean, I'm sure when producer Craig pops in, he's just gonna, he probably, he hadn't seen this movie till last night. And this is, this is basically Talladega Nights is a parody of this movie.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Right. So that's, I think people's relationship under 40 with this whole world is Talladega Nights. Yeah.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
plus maybe a couple others, at the historic Coolidge Corner Theater. We're doing it all weekend from March 28th through March 30th. One of my favorite theaters in America. We might even make a few surprise appearances at a couple of these screenings. It's your chance to see some of our favorites as they were meant to be seen on... The big screen.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Rex is like, I'm thinking of taking us to the Super Bowl and then completely falling apart. Kyle said, that sounds great.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
My relationship as a kid of the 70s and 80s with this whole world was every once in a while, Sports Illustrated would write about it. Like, I just looked it up because I remembered it was Cole Yarborough. I didn't remember who the other person was. But there was a big fight in 1979 between Cole Yarborough and Bobby Allison. I think Bobby Allison.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And Sports Illustrated wrote a story about it. And I was like, whoa. these guys fought on the track. Like NASCAR seems kind of cool. And then never watched it. And then the other thing would be if it was on a network that had football, they would promote it. Yeah. Coming up next Daytona.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And, but it just never, never took, I always felt like it was just kind of in the South, just kind of happening over here.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Like the first two months I had my podcast for ESPN, 2007. Tony Stewart was one of my first guests.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I don't even think it was Subway Fresh Take yet. And I did the research and I saw that he had a car, number 33. Yeah. So I was like, oh, this would be a good icebreaker. My favorite number, Larry Bird.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And we started off. I'm on the phone with him, so I can't see him. And I'm like, yeah, you know, you're one of my favorites because you race number 33. And he's like, I'm actually number 20 or whatever it is. I only ran 33 that couple races. Oh, shit. So it was just, couldn't have been off to a worse start.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And then he withdrew and it was like one of the, it was probably the worst interview I'd ever, ever did for the podcast.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
We're going to take a break. And then when we come back, we're going to talk about a famously fucked up shoot. This movie was filmed in and around Charlotte and Daytona Beach. And went 25 to 30 million over budget, they say, which is probably really 50. Because we had Simpson and Bruckheimer. We had Tony Scott. legend, a rewatchables hall of famer.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I'm not positive he was that easy to work with from time to time. So you have him and then you have Robert town who's on the set with like crazy power. And then you have Cruz and it's the four guys. And then sometimes Cruz just arguing about everything because they keep changing the script.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
the crew members apparently made so much overtime that they didn't have to work for like six months after scenes were written day of the filming. I, I, this almost seems too crazy to be true, but apparently crews would have cue cards on the windshield because the scenes are being rewritten so fast. He wouldn't know his lines.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Well, Cruz ends up almost crashing because of the cue cards. So they decide that's a bad idea. They have to put the earplugs like he's a quarterback in football with Towns as the OC calling him plays. What were you saying, Kyle?
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Say it, say it. Tom, just I'm dropping the hammer really quick. Filming finished three months late. And it's crazy shit. Towns really wanted, I guess Duvall's character, to have an awesome barn. So they built the barn. Towns like, I don't like it. Let's do it again. Knock it down. They build it again. And now, still didn't get it right. They knock it down. They build it a third time. It's like,
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
But they show shots. They show them. They don't show. Yeah, they don't show the wide shot in the movie. You're right.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
They just probably decided not to like it. The other thing is they did all these reshoots. They went all this money over budget and then realized after they finished the movie that they didn't have cold trickle crossing the finish line in the biggest race.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And had to go back and redo that part after it was already done. It was probably the only thing that really truly mattered to get on camera. They didn't get. Simpson and Bruckheimer, they spent $400,000 and this is 1990 money. So what's that? Like 2 million now? I don't even know. A lot. To have part of their hotel that they were staying in converted into a private gym.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
That also had a large neon sign on it that said days of thunder. So that happened. Simpson had a whole closet of Donna Karan dresses and he would offer women that he met either the dresses or come be my assistant, stuff like that. They were throwing parties every night.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And it hit that 1990, it comes out and it's just on cable for the next 15 years, just straight. And you could jump in when you want. What's your relationship, C.R. ?
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
They had parties with people like Tone Loke rapping and They, um, post-production was five weeks instead of five months because they took so long to film this thing that they, they were like, this movie is coming out June 27th, 1990. This is it. It's coming out on this date. They don't finish until mid May. They now have five weeks to edit and finish and complete and get prints out for the movie.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Paramount was so upset afterwards that, That they asked for a 9 million refund on the profit participation from Don and Jerry. We're told though, and then ended the relationship that had just started. So basically like Buffalo gives Josh Allen that $330 million deal. He has one bad season. They're like, we're out. We're just going to pay you off. 120 million done. Bill.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
What happened to it?
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I think the best time to get a pump in was probably between 7 and 9 a.m. in the morning because Don Simpson was probably still out.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
There was one of the stories about it. They're talking about the gym.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And they make a point of saying how Cruz didn't work out in the gym because he was renting a house and built his own gym in the house. They're just like... They're shooting $100 bills all around the Carolina area.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Well, they did a lot of press, too, about... This paramount deal they did. They took the newspaper ads for themselves, congratulated themselves. They did all that. So Hollywood was lined up at this point. Hollywood was in full fuck these guys mode. CR sent us a spy magazine one pager where some of the stuff that we're talking about was in there. It's like 450 words. The vultures were out.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Well, and it fucked up. So their next movie is supposed to be Beverly Hills Cop 3.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And still catching Eddie, the tail end of before, I think he moved into a different phase of comedy. And that gets delayed for three years. By the time they make it, it ends up being one of the worst sequels in a while. But then Simpson just... Is a fucking mess for most of the 90s. And then has the one last comeback with Bad Boys and Crimson Tide.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Ends up breaking up with Bruckheimer and then dies. Overdoses.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah. The $400,000 gym. Maybe not in that budget. It did make 157.9 million. Are you going to ever have a Don Simpson phase for me, Bill? Like, are we ever going to really ball out? I've had it. It's like Watergate. I can just go back and do it again. I've already done it. I've already read all the books, but I'm happy to redo it if you want.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I'm too afraid of cocaine.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I'm too afraid. The limb bias put the fair guy to me. Okay. Okay. That's it.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
But I'm probably like Cruz. I like being peripherally near where the debauchery is happening, and I like hearing the stories after, but keep me out of the rooms.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Oh, yeah. Okay. I think during the cocaine era, my 55 was like 42. Mm-hmm.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, so you just add another 10 years. Cruise made $9 million plus points for this movie. It got nominated for an Oscar for Best Sound. Roger Ebert, three stars. Days of Thunder is an entertaining example of what we might as well call the Tom Cruise picture.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And then goes through all the beats of Tom Cruise movies, which I don't need to read. Parts of the plot are beginning to wear out their welcome, but the key ingredients are still effective. And then he says about Nicole Kidman, Kidman has little to do as the love interest and doesn't make much of an impression. I disagree. I think she classes it up. Yeah, I do. I thought she looked awesome.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Our guy, Quentin Tarantino loves it.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I'm a big fan. To me, Days of Thunder is the movie Grand Prix and Le Mans should have been. Sure, it had a big budget, big stars, and a big director in Tony Scott, but it had the fun of those early AIP movies. I just don't think it works if you take the whole thing too seriously. He also loves Tony Scott, we should mention.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
That was not my takeaway.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, that was not my takeaway.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, I mean, Bob Towne probably was thinking about this like the way, like to me, without limits, the other, the Prefontaine movie with Billy Crudup. That's the version of Days of Thunder. Bob Towne probably had this head, but that's not what is on the screen. That's not what Tony and Don were thinking. No, that's not what they're thinking. All right, categories. I'm swerving with you guys.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I have two categories at the top before most rewatchables. Oh, yeah. What do you got? I moved some stuff up because I think it's too important. The Chess Rockwell and Brock Landers Award for Best Character Name. Yeah, come on. Our nominees are Cole Trickle, Rowdy Burns, Harry Hogg, spelled H-O-G-G-E, or Buddy Bretherton. I think it's Rowdy Burns. What do you think, Kyle?
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
We're due for a rowdy in sports. Yeah. We are. I guess Abdul Carter is a pretty good name, but Mason Graham in the NFL draft right now, if Mason Graham's name was Rowdy and he was like, it's Rowdy Graham, the Michigan defensive tackle, I'd be like, Jesus, that guy's got to go first.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Well, another category. This is a brand new category, CR. Okay. 376 movies. I think it's a decent ad. You're still surprising me. The Dr. Claire Lewicki Award for Worst Character Name. Why is her name Dr. Claire Lewicki? She's a fucking redhead from Australia.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, and it's also one of these movies that, as the years have passed, becomes just more interesting from all the side plots of when they made it, what happened with Cruise and Kidman. The half-assed internet research for this movie is almost too much.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Once they hired Kidman, couldn't she have been Dr. Claire Sanders?
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Town's like, boom, I'm taking a break. I can't believe I came up with such a great name.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
What an amazing New York Times wedding announcement. NASCAR driver Cole Trickle is paired with Dr. Claire Lewicki, 23-year-old neurosurgeon. The groom wore mellow yellow green.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Most rewatchable scene. So Cole's first scene.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I know a damn race car driver when I see one. Let me drive. I won't make a fool out of you. We get that whole thing. Cruise showing up on a motorcycle is hilarious. How many times has Cruise broken out a motorcycle in a movie, if you had to guess?
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yes. Oh, that's interesting.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I, it was one of the rare times, like, you know, if we're doing boogie nights or something like that, there's going to be a shitload of research and it's worth it. This is like, how long do we go about Don Simpson? Do we go an hour? Do we go three hours? Like what's.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, I had this written later, but Randy Quaid was in Brokeback Mountain and that somehow wasn't the gayest sexual attention movie that he's been in because Colin Crowdy.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
You build me a car and I'll win Daytona next year. I love when people just say shit like that during a football movie. You get me an offensive line, I'll win the Super Bowl next year. It's like, you're from fucking Eagle Rock, California. You're racing like gimmick. What are you talking about?
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Are we at capacity now with Gimme Some Lovin'? For sure, but in 1990? Is it almost like in the air tonight for football games? Like, just no more. Like, we're good. We had a great run. Let's move on.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, that's damn right. He rubbed you and Robinson is racing. Stuff like that. We get to hit the pace car. We get that. We're busy. We're eating ice cream. We get lines like, what do we do? We end up looking like a monkey fucking football out there.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Great Randy Quaid run. We also get Cole saying, there's nothing I can't do with a race car, which I think if it's story by Tom Cruise and Robert town, he probably suggested that line.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
You can reject it, but just what if this guy won't be heard if we don't use this, but I think it's good. Uh, next one, Cole wins his first race. I like the whole concept of I'm going faster. Everyone else is going slower. Cause it feels like there's some deep NASCAR shit going on there. I don't fully understand it. We get the pit disaster. We get Cruz flip it out. Son of a bitch.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
This is before he had like the voice leveling stuff. Cause when he screams, his voice goes too high. Carrie lies about the tires I like. And then always fun when it's the boy doesn't have the balls to pass me on turn four. None of us understand NASCAR, but it's like, yeah, that sounds pretty crazy to pass them on turn four. Is he going to try that?
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Well, we might have to because, you know, Don Simpson and Jerry Bruckheimer, these legendary eighties and nineties producers, they, and they're starting this giant Paramount deal. They did, which according to premier magazine was five movies, $300 million, which is crazy. And it's, and there's been podcasts about these guys. There's been books written about them.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I enjoy that part. I enjoy when they win a race in car movies. Just a brief scene, but Cole getting stopped by the police stripper.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I think when you say Don Simpson special... Odds are strippers and or cocaine are going to be involved. So in this case, we get one. What did you think of Tom Cruise's? If this movie was rated R, this scene could have definitely. Talk about it. We could have explored the studio space with this scene, I think.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
They let Cruz go in the van.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
she goes in the bus with cole and they all just wait women but you're right so wait last last question about that woman and do you guys you guys know who that is that actress do you know this i can you save it for casting with it yeah yeah yeah yeah it's unbelievable i just want to make sure you do it oh i couldn't believe it do you know chrissy do you know cr who that i do okay oh you want to do it now now let's save it let's save it let's save it for the audience now they're excited yes um
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
They've been, the story has been told ad nauseum about just how crazy Don Simpson was. This was the craziest he was during this entire run. 1990, where he's just like, budget? Fuck it. Is it $35 million? Let's go $65. Let's just argue on the racetrack about a scene for an entire day while we pay hundreds of extras and then not film the scene.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Next scene's another short one, but Cole thinks Dr. Claire Lewicki is another stripper. After the crash. After the crash and puts her hand. There's some violations here, but it leads right to the wheelchair race, which is a phenomenal scene. But this whole stretch is pretty funny. This is probably my favorite part of the movie right around here.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Cole wins his first race, the bus, all this stuff. The accident. The accident, all this stuff. Yeah. I enjoyed the rental car race. How did they end up in the water during this? If you had to guess.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
In the rental car race. Oh, down by the beach? We're banging in the street. All of a sudden, we're on the beach just going through water that's spraying.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
The valet situation is funny, too. Yeah. Cole ruins Russ Wheeler's victory lap when he comes out and just rams his car. I love that part. They write in a little Cruz Duvall. Like, let's do a little four-minute emotional scene here. Yeah.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
It's really the only time Cruz dials it up as an actor for two hours. And Duvall's, you know, he's going against an Oscar winner. There's a moment.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
It's like, what happened? I'm watching this movie for the first time. And it was something you casually mentioned an hour and a half ago. Yeah.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Last one, Cole's big Daytona comeback. seeing the smoke driving through it. Symbolic in a lot of ways, Kyle, like little, like I'm sure Josh Allen watches this movie and thinks there's going to be another moment on a fourth and one. I just got to go through the smoke.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Uh, I like the big, we gotta, I mean, none of us understand race car driving at all, but the whole, we gotta get out before that pace car comes around. They show the pace car back to the thing. Oh my God, the guy can't get the lug nut in.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Very fun. And then the, he's going high. He's going low. Awesome. I had this later, but I'll do this now. Now this is really good. This is almost like a social clip. So if you're the hero of a sports movie and you could pick any, any movie, what would be the single most fun scene to reenact? If you were the actor, because I would make a case winning a huge race in either Indy 500 or NASCAR.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And then you get to do the thing where they all lift you up and they pour champagne on you and you're celebrating. That seems like it would be number one. I couldn't think of another one. That would be better. Maybe, maybe a perfect game running toward the catcher and jumping into the catchers.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
What about like a game winning, like a natural Roy Hobbs wins the pennant home run try?
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Because then you could do like the Vanderbeek winning in varsity blues end zone celebration. Yes. You could have the Jimmy Chitwood Uh, making the, making the jumper at the top of the key to win the state title and the whole, the whole arena comes at you.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
This is like the kind of shit you would see in a movie about Hollywood. Yeah. That would seem like, wow, they really went for this movie. This is crazy. This actually all happened. This budget ends up being like $65 million.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Your first face is awesome. Involve all the characters. Boxing has like you win and everybody comes to the ring, but I really think racing is number one for this. Because you get all the characters in the movie, things poured on you, and you get to kiss somebody. What's the most 1990 thing about this movie? So I'll give you three choices.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman falling in love, which seems like it happened 130 years ago. For sponsors, we have Tide, Snickers, Skoll, and Exxon. And then Mellow Yellow. I think Exxon and Mellow Yellow being sponsors have to get there. Exxon was like, nothing can go wrong for us.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, this is the peak. Buy the lake house.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I think, unless you guys can come up with another one, I think I have the winner. Is there anything else you think is 1990?
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
It's unbelievable. The only thing that was missing was Fred Willard as the announcer going, look at that happy fella. I think I have the winner. Okay. This is just from the research verbatim. The film's theme song, Last Note of Freedom, was sung by White Snake's lead singer, David Coverdale, at the request of Tom Cruise. Fucking awesome. Yeah.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Is there any other point in the history of America where Tom Cruise would have requested a song from White Snake's David Coverdale? No. We're looking at 88 to 90. That has to be the window, right?
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
David Coverdahl's at an Exxon wrap party and then you're just like, guys, this is going to get better for all of us.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
What's aged the best? Robert Duvall is the crew chief. Rarely do you see somebody this overqualified to be in a sports movie where they actually care about the movie. Gene Hackman's in The Replacements. He's mailing it in. It's still fun. RIP Gene Hackman. Duvall's like, I actually like this character. I'm going to explore. Maybe I can steal this movie from Cruise.
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I just think he's really good in it.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
give you a good restrictor plate you know like is is it a hot take to say this is a top five favorite duval movie pretty hot because he's been in a lot of good movies yeah well the other take is that this is a robert duval movie featuring tom cruise and duval wins the movie like that's that's another take because every time harry's on it's good it would be like tom's winning top gun yeah
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
The hairdos, you mentioned this is the best Cruz's hair has ever looked. Ever. I almost feel like there's been some decisions in the last couple years where he's gone to the barber slash hairstylist slash dye job person. Sure. And been like, hey, man, here's some Days of Thunder photos. How close can we get to this?
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
But it looks cool. And curly hair Kidman is a special place in my heart. Yeah. Because what happens when especially really, really attractive women have hair like that, they ride it into their mid-20s, and then they start straightening it out, and they never have it again.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Classic mob heist, Boston movies we love, Goodfellas, The Town, The Departed. Oh, yeah, we're doing Heat. Again, it's going to kick off Friday, March 28th at the Coolidge Corner Theater in Brookline. Visit theringer.com slash events for showtimes and ticket information. Hopefully, we'll see you there. The Rewatchables is brought to you by The Ringer Podcast Network, where you can find...
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
It's so good. I just thought she was lights out back then. I remember, did I ever tell you I was at a restaurant once with the great John Walsh in the early 2000s after I moved to LA. So it was probably oh three. And all of a sudden Nicole Kidman walked in and the entire restaurant stopped. And it was the only time I've ever seen that. And it stopped not because she was famous.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Cause she was like so beautiful.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Everyone was like, Oh my, it was like watching like dolphins jump in the fucking ocean. It was incredible. Everyone's like, Oh my God. It's like tall. Just like great. But shit, what a great run by her. Um, two best age, the best two Oscar winners, Kidman and Duvall, like sharing actual scenes together.
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I don't think he was thinking this lady is going to be a multi Oscar nominee someday as he was banging those cold trickle scenes out with her.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Come on. Cause I can't, I'm going to choose to Eric ride home. Um, John C. Reilly basically as Reed Rothschild in this movie for a website's the best. Is there any difference with him and Reed Rothschild from what we can tell?
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I think Paul Thomas Anderson was just like, just do the Days of Thunder guy.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
That story by Robert Towne and Tom Cruise.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I don't think there was... Val Kilmer is probably 10 out of 10 best dicks of the 80s and 90s, but Cary Elwes was always a solid 8.5. I have two more, but do you guys have any more of what's aged best?
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
It's like trying to watch a monkey fuck a football.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
We've discussed this before. It's clear that he's never had a drink of alcohol in the last 40 years.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
It would be like if I tried to film a cocaine scene and I was like,
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Um, two more for me. I'm more afraid of being nothing than being hurt. Great yearbook quote. Just pencil. What are we in March? We're still like handing in high school yearbooks. Throw that one in there. Somebody couple racing lessons. As I've mentioned many times, we don't really understand this world. A couple of lessons I took away. Driver has to trust his crew chief. Sure.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Just know that going forward. Tires win a race. It's dirty secret. Yeah. Not about the car. It's not about the driver. It's the tires. Don't have two race teams if you're the owner like Randy Quaid. You got to pick one. You're going to have tension. And then this was probably the best advice. There are calculating drivers and kamikaze drivers. Which one are you?
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, we're coming out of the cocaine era. We're coming out of it.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Can we talk about the wheelchair scene? Is it time? That's amazing. Go ahead. It's just Tony Scott being like, it's like when we were at the Masters with Chang once and he just made us a pizza out of stuff in the fridge and it was like saltines and like a tomato and some broccoli and he's like, I can make a pizza out of this. That's Tony Scott.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
There was no cocaine on set. Don Simpson's trying to keep it alive. And it's that 80s excess era that's still kind of going in 89, 90. These big budget movies, a lot of sequels at this point. I was trying to think like in 2025, what would be a more sure thing idea than this was in 1990 where you have Simpson and Bruckheimer.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
kind of unfair because he's coming off of born on the fourth of july so he's been in the wheelchair he has like the better part of the last two years well when i heard it wasn't in the research but i'm guessing rooker was in the four hundred thousand dollar gym just just working on a wheelchair treadmill that don simpson bought him triceps you're right getting it going i forgot to ask you guys what your most rewatchable scene was because mine is also the wheelchair scene
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I actually looked this up. Mellow Yellow still exists in some markets. Do you know that? I didn't. It's still alive.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, it's kind of like it doesn't really work anymore, but they don't want to officially cancel it.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Sure, let's do it. Okay, that wins.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Great shot. Gorder Award for most cinematic shots. You have one, CR?
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
In the 4K Blu-ray, he actually had them add six inches to his height in that scene. Yeah, they're the same height. CR, you're up with a flex category from categories we don't normally have.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
That's good. I like that one. The Butcher's Girlfriend Award, weak link of the film. What do you got, Kyle?
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
and a red, red, red, red hot Tom Cruise basically redoing Top Gun with race cars. There's no scenario where somebody could be like, all right, it's going to be, let's say, Chalamet.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Right. I had the, I had right after the middle of the movie, I think at craters for about 25 minutes, uh, Rowdy's battle with a career-ending injury. Just kill him off. Cole's road rage incident and her being like, nobody has control. Every scene where Claire is mad at Cole or they're trying to establish some sort of tension with them, it just doesn't work.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Heartbreak fits good in a place like this. I like moving the crash later. I think that's a good idea. I would also, you could have talked to me in a Harry stealth cancer battle. Ooh. That Chris finds out about when they have the big back and forth in the end.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, just like a little, yeah, a little Creed one. Something's wrong with Harry and he doesn't want to tell Cole and Cole finds out. I think this movie's better off with Rowdy just dies. Mm-hmm. We lose all those scenes. Yeah. They goose. We did. We basically, and they probably didn't want to do it because they didn't want to have the goose parallel, but we have that.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
So that's where they do the line.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Hey, now we get to do the Elizabeth shoe is an Oxford electrochemist award for most ridiculous casting. A lot of options, but it's hard to pass 23-year-old Nicole Kidman as Charlotte's best neurosurgeon. Second best. She's got a boss.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
It's going to be Chalamet. Okay, who is a producer that was more reliable at this point than Simpson Bruckheimer? I can't think of one. What's the sport that hasn't been dove into like this? I can't, like, Kyle, I don't, I just think this is like a one-on-one in a weird way, even though the movie's not great.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
What was a more unrealistic character, her or Kelly Lynch in Roadhouse, if you had to guess? Most unrealistic, why are you living in this part of the world and why are you this good at your job?
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Right. But she, I mean, she looks like a kid in this movie anyway.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
What's aged the worst? The video game for this movie stunk. I just wanted to get that on record. I had it. It's terrible. Bad. Really disappointing during an era where our expectations for video games were starting to go up. And this was bad. And in general, most driving video games were bad in the 80s and 90s. But this one, I feel like that. You spend $100 million.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
You fucking build a gym for Simpson and Bruckheimer. You can't have a good video game, CR. Come on.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Well, arcade wise, pole position was great. Yeah. Pole position was iconic for five, six years. And Days of Thunder at least should have had an awesome arcade game with Cruz's face on it. Like, I don't know how they fucked that up.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Oh, yeah, Outrun was dope.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I couldn't agree more.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
No, you're right. He should have done the KG. He should have like, think how many times he unleashes and cocktail, which is only two, two years before, like at least break out that Brian Flanagan for a split second. You have anything, Kyle?
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
He has to. Both of them. That's great. I love that, Kyle. I have some small ones. I really like the scene when Harry's building Cole's car and he's like, he's got the hands. Yeah. And we see like the frame of a car. And then in 10 seconds, there's the car. I could have gone three more minutes with them. Him like instructing people. No, no, you got it. Defenders got to look like that.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Like I just, I was so interested in that part and just is gone immediately. I could have done, I could have done a whole scene. Randy Quaid's character is named Tim Dalland. Yeah. This is a movie with Rowdy Burns and Cole Trickle and Dr. Claire Lewicki. We couldn't have done better than Tim Dallin.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, so some bigger motorsports entity comes in.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
It's like a Hendrix Motorsports.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Is that a nitpick CR? Nobody's wins six races in a row.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
So this is any given Sunday, but Willie Beeman throws for 590 yards, five weeks in a row. Yeah. And 400 TDs. All right. My big one. I'm really excited to share this with you guys. Let's do it. How much, how much you, uh,
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
you love this uh awkward tom cruise bedroom scenes go on this is yet another one with the in bed it's it's he's got they're lying next to each other it's like did they have sex or are they about to have you can never tell what tom cruise in bed it's like did he just come is he about to come what's going on maniacally laughing in jennifer connelly's
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
face so much comedy in bed most guys are in bed they're just like that girl's hot i'm gonna try to have sex with her tom cruise is like he's on serious channel of 94 doing like comedy bits on netflix as a joke um he brings out sweet and lows there's always props with tom cruise yeah
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
He can't just be like, hey, you know what I'm going to do is make out with this person and then let's do a genital thing. He's like, no, I'm going to bring him some condiments, some sweet and low. But I was trying to think like the awkward Tom Cruise bedroom scenes of all time. Go on. This is like an eight and a half. I think that with Gina Gershon and cocktail, that's, that's like a solid eight.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I don't know what they're doing there. They're bouncing around. They fall off the bed. It's like, nobody has had sex like this ever. Top gun with Kelly McGillis is a nine and a half. And I think the 10, I think a solid 10. Top Gun Maverick with Jennifer Connelly. Which is the most chased sex scene in American history.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
We broke it down when we did the immediate rewatchables after seeing that movie twice. I still don't know what happens. Every time it's on cable near that scene, I watch it because I enjoy it so much. He's just laughing. They're just laughing hysterically. It's unclear what's happened. Did they just make out? Yeah. So Kyle, why can't Tom Cruise get this right? What's wrong with him?
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Oh, that's another one. Good one. Yeah.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And Bonnie Hunt's listening to the laughter. It's like, why is there so much laughter? Why isn't there grunting? And in fact, Luther Vandross. Bonnie Hunt, go to a 7-Eleven.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Right. Well, Simpson... So they're talking in the premiere magazine, and basically the premise of this is there hasn't been a cool race car movie since Le Mans with McQueen, which is a very cool movie. It's a little dated now. The movie is like 51 years old, but it's still cool, and I think it was really inspirational for people who care about cars.
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Risky business train scene. He starts out great with the sex scene.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Then we have all the right moves with Leah Thompson, which is like a very tender high school. Here's the first time you've seen me without my shirt. It's one of those. It's like very early eighties. I was going to pull my shirt up, but awkward, whatever. But as the eighties go on into the nineties, it just gets weirder and weirder. And then eyes wide shut. Hmm.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
But once he was on the sofa with Oprah, I don't know if we ever saw it again other than in Maverick. And then in Maverick... I still can't explain it. Are they watching Seinfeld? It's like, are they, what, what's happening? Are they waiting for a post?
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
What are they laughing about? She's like, I had this customer yesterday and he tried to pay with a five, but he gave me a hundred. He's like, SNL is so back. Anyway. All right. Ruffalo Hannah Rubinick Partridge overacting award. Um, probably cruise in the car a couple of times, I would say you want to go all of Carrie always.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Crazy Duvall. Yeah.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
All right, so the CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford had his take award. I have one. Do you guys have one?
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Wow, that's a good one.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
We never get the two kids they adopted that Cruz doesn't talk to anymore. We don't get those either.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I swear, I thought this too. I liked it too. They were like going all over the place, but they worked.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
The Porsche that was in that movie, I forget what actor had it. It was like Kevin Costner, somebody like that. Got the actual Le Mans car? Seinfeld bought it for like a million dollars in 2001 and sold it for like $25 million in the last year. And since that movie, there was a couple other ones like Bobby Deerfield happened there.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
It's a wonderful, wonderful how to steak.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I have a warm-up hottest take and then a hottest take. We've talked about Rooker many times, and I think this is a good spot. I still don't understand why he wasn't a way bigger star in the late 80s, early 90s. When he does this movie, he's coming off Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer. He does Sea of Love. It feels like there's going to be a Rooker moment. We called it the Rooker-sants.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Everything peaks in Cliffhanger. And then he just kind of moves into like kind of graduated from that guy land and pops up in a bunch of stuff. It's always fun to see him. I remember when he showed up in walking dead, it was like, Oh my God, Rooker. Yeah. This is amazing. I just felt like there was more there. I know Kyle, we've talked about it.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
We don't even almost don't even need to hear your thoughts. Yeah. It's like, it's almost like saying like, yeah, it'd be nice if the bills won a Superbowl. It'd be cool. I just don't understand what happened with Rooker. I feel like, like CR, what,
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
He could have played like six characters in Heat. So there was, it turns out like his iconic role was Cliffhanger being mad at Gabe for trying to save his girlfriend, which we broke down for 20 minutes.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Well, that's not my hottest take. My hottest take. This movie is way better if Cole Trickle is just Brian Flanagan and it's called Cocktail 2 Days of Thunder. And Brian Flanagan has gotten divorced. He's given up the bar restaurant business. He always enjoyed driving and he's just playing Brian Flanagan.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, like, let's just make him Flanagan. He's got, every time he looks through the dashboard and Coghlan's right there. And he like pats the dashboard, Coggins. Maybe he has the reconciliation with Elizabeth Shue, but it doesn't work out. It leads to Kidman. I just think it's more interesting.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Casting what ifs. Cruz wanted Kurt Russell for Rowdy Burns, but Russell did Backdraft instead. It's a pretty good what if.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yep, that was another one.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Dale Earnhardt Jr. said that his dad was disgust for Rowdy and Dale turned it down because he didn't want to play a bad guy. Which goes to show you how little of the script they wrote. Because what they ended up with, Rowdy was 100% not the bad guy. Right. Like he actually should have played Rowdy. And I think this would have been a good hottest take.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I think you could make a case like unbelievable career move for Dale Earnhardt Sr., To be Rowdy Burns in a Tom Cruise movie. I know he is the most famous driver in that world, but people like me and you, we barely knew who he was.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
People kind of dipped in this pool, but I felt like, yeah, I think they felt like this was sitting there. And the other thing that was in that premiere piece was how excited NASCAR was about to welcome these guys into their world. They basically... This is like if somebody made an NBA movie now and they were like, hey, we need the actors to play in an exhibition game.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
This isn't quite a casting with it, but we haven't talked about it yet. Don Simpson put himself in the movie as driver Aldo Benedetti. B-E-N-N-E-D-E-T-T-I.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
This movie wasn't deranged and kooky enough It had a producer And you see him in the beginning And it's so fucking funny when you know it's there Apparently his acting was so bad And his scenes were so awful That they ended up cutting out a lot of the Aldo Benedetti stuff He only has one cameo
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And then there's the story after, who knows if it's true, that Tony Scott shot long, terrible scenes with him so Simpson would know how bad he was and just had like five, six minute long scenes of Simpson mangling dialogue. Yeah. So it'd get fucked up and it ends up just being a cameo. But how much cocaine do you have to be on to think you should be in a Tom Cruise movie?
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Danny McBride Award for playing yourself. Richard Petty, Rusty Wallace, Neil Bonnet, Harry Gant, Dr. Jerry Puss. So we have that. Who do you have for Best That Guy Award? Because there's a great one in here.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Oh, that's where you went first? Yeah. Come on, CR. What do you have?
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
No, it's J.C. Quinn. It's J.C. Quinn or J.T. Quinn?
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I have them two. But he was the chef in Vision Quest.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
It's not about the six minutes. He's the chef in Vision Quest. It's what happens in the six minutes. They've been one of the great sports movie characters. Always love seeing him.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I like Quinn. Dion Waiters Award. Here we go. So I'm not going to say the winner yet, but Fred Thompson is our runner up who just calls people monkeys, tells a long story about causing the Japs with lettuce.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
The Japanese inspection starts great. He's not the winner though. The stripper police officer. Go on. The Lonnie Sorrell, AKA like, Hmm, where does she, she looks so familiar. What else did she do? Fucking Roxy from basic instinct. Yeah. When we did the basic instinct pod, it was like, why wasn't she one of the biggest stars of the nineties? I, she does that basic instinct.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
We need to have all your uniforms. We need scenes of them in the fourth quarter playing with your players. They're like, cool, take it. What about a regular season game? Okay, great. Let's put them in that too. We'll do 10-day contracts. That's how crazy this is, Kyle.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And then that's kind of it. Was she dating Simpson? No, somebody else was, I have that in the half as they, the other girl in that scene, who's on the bus.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
simpson cast and then ended up dating and marrying but then didn't tony scott also wind up dating oh he dated her and tony scott married her that's what it was yeah yeah she became eventually mrs tony scott and she's on the bus wasn't wasn't sharon stone up for the wiki too like that that could have been the full crossover definitely i think she was up for everything
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Roxy, just an iconic 90s character.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Recasting couch director of City. I mean, just get Val Kilmer for Ross Wheeler. What are we doing? Great. What are we doing? Yeah.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
It's there for four days. Just say, hey, I know you're shooting the doors. Just can you come down to Charlotte and just. Shooting the door. We're going to put a flat top hairdo on you.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I'm throwing in for my flex category. Was there a better title for this movie?
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And I just not really happy with days of thunder. I don't know what it means. Stupid. What does it mean? It's corny as hell. Yeah. What if you just called it Daytona?
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Something with tires. I don't know what the answer is.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
You know what? It's incoherent though. What else could, I mean, Days of Thunder could be about anything. I don't even know what that means. Days of Thunder.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, we still don't have the answer. Half-assed research, only a couple ones. Hendrick Motorsports supplied the main cars, and they were actually raced in real races three times to get the extra footage. Cole and Rowdy raced rental cars on the beach, and they show birds scattering out of the way. Apparently, they put... bird seeds on the beach.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And the first time they filmed the scene, the cars just ran over a bunch of birds. There was bird death. Yeah. Peter violations were had, uh, Donna Scott, the pit girl in that scene with Roxy, uh, broke up with Simpson, dated Tony Scott. They got married, had two kids. And then, um, Cruz apparently got a speeding ticket.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I saw that it didn't include it because it seemed too crazy. Do you think that was true?
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
That's awesome. Apex Mountain Cruise. Probably not. We're in the Cruz vicinity, but I still feel like it's a few good men that range.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
We're not quite there. Duvall, no. Kidman, not yet. Cruz's hair and teeth, I think. I'm going yes and yes. Yes, yes. NASCAR, no. Lunatic Don Simpson stories. I think, yes, I think we, this is apex right here. Yeah.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Cruise as a believable real life playboy bachelor coming off divorce, landing Nicole Kidman. I'm going to say, yes, I'd had no questions when I was in 1990. Rooker cliffhanger, right?
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
John C. Reilly, no. Carrie Elwes, no. What is Carrie Elwes?
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Hans Zimmer, probably not. Simpson Bruckheimer, no. Mellow Yellow. Car racing movies? Car racing movies. Probably Talladega. I think that's had better legs. And then a mellow yellow. Yes. Right. Yeah. Absolutely.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Cruiser Hanks. Cruise is in it. I'm willing to have the Hanks convo. Yeah. I can't get there, but cruise. Sure. So I don't know what the standings are now for those two. What do you have for Scorsese or Spielberg?
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
A lot more cocaine.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
What role would Philip Seymour Hoffman have played? You could see him a little bit older as Harry. You could see him a little bit younger as the John C. Reilly. Rooker would have been interesting. That part. Rowdy.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
So the, the, the premise of the, or the, the, the bones of this movie, CR. Yeah. Tom Cruise will go into the moment he's having his career. Bobby Duvall, Big Shot Bob. Fresh off turning down Godfather 3 for $5 million. He's like, you know what I'm going to do instead? Days of Thunder. Nicole Kidman, 23 years old. Had only really done Dead Calm. I saw Dead Calm in the theater. We all marked it.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
So... Philip Seymour Hoffman at Freddy as Russ Wheeler. That's it. Going cool. How's the CTE? How's the CTE? Racehorse rock band wrestler fantasy team name. Hard to top. Cole Trickle. Cole Tricklers. Anything with Cole Trickle.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
We'll see them at the House of Blues. Peaked in the early 80s with a couple songs. Yeah. All right, Craig, come on camera for this one because you have a flex category for us.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I'm starting to feel like Craig might've liked this movie. We'll find out at the end of the pod. Picket knits. A NASCAR driver from Eagle Rock is just ridiculous. Come on. You walk the streets of Eagle Rock a lot. See any possible NASCAR drivers floating around there? Just fantasy. Yeah. Jesus. Lewicki falls for a coal in about two minutes. Yeah, that's tough. Just wanted to mention that. Yeah.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And he's off to a terrible start. And as Kyle laid out the whole stalking scenario with him. Terrible. Um, unclear why she doesn't have a boyfriend either. Another classic, like, why don't you have somebody? Cause unlike Kelly Lynch and roadhouse, she's in Charlotte.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah. Which is extreme dream, dream girlfriend smoking hot doctors on call all the time. Sounds great. I'm going to watch sports. Tell me when you get back from the hospital. Yeah. Any other nitpicks for you guys?
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I have one more small one because this is a movie thing that happens a lot where the passenger wants to get out of the car and then opens the door. Let me out or I'm getting out. Lady Bird. In real life, I just think Cole keeps going. Go ahead. You're going to fall out of the car. I fucking dare you. I dare you.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
What's it called? The Watch? Yes. That's it, right?
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
It's like if this is a football movie and it's just a tush push is the only play.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
We got to get to fourth and one for another tush push. It didn't work last time. Sequel, prequel, prestige TV, all black cast are untouchable. So. Less than six months ago reported Tom Cruise is going to do a Days of Thunder sequel.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And doing it with Top Gun Maverick. I guess he's hairy in this. Yeah. Well, he might be cool.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
We were like, this lady's great. Really interested to see what happens with her. Did not expect to see her in Days of Thunder with Tom Cruise. Michael Rooker.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, give him, like, a high ankle sprain, something. Yeah. Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Danny Trejo, Doris Burke, Sam Jackson? No. Byron Mayer, Barney Cousins, Tony Romo, Harling Mays, Chris Collinsworth, Daniel Plainview, Long Legs, or Wilford Brimley in the firm? CR.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah. Kyle, we'll put him on the side. Oh, we're going to talk Rooker. We're going to talk a lot of Rooker. I think this might be our third Rooker together. We do a lot of Rooker.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Wow. Those are two great ones. I almost don't want to follow it just with Roma going, he might go high, Jim!
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Just one Oscar, who gets it?
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Disagree. Disagree. It did get nominated for best sound. So maybe that wins the Oscar. Yeah. Uh, probably an answerable questions. Cole's Daytona odds. I have no idea how to do a race car odds, but Cole coming off major accident, not doing that. Great. Not, I'm going to guess a hundred, not his car. I'm guessing a hundred to one or higher. Right. Something like that. Yeah.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Um, all right, here's, well, I have one more, but do you guys have any, any answerables?
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Like a Pontiac out in front. Yeah.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah. I just wouldn't enjoy it. Yeah. I'm going to say no.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And Cruz is like, I've always liked tall girls.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Mimi Rogers was like 5'11". Kind of Cruz's thing. Katie Holmes is like 5'10". Katie Holmes is tall too. Yeah. Yeah. here's my unanswerable. What happens if Duvall does Godfather three instead of this movie? Who's Harry? And I think it's Jack Nicholson.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I was going to say coming right up Batman. I think they just throw a giant check at him and he's like, ah, you guys are going to Don Simpson's going to be on the set, right? That sounds good. All right. Don's a fun time. All right, I'll do it.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Maybe not. That's another, we get a what if off the what if. What piece of memorabilia would you want or not want from this movie? As a hat guy, I would love the super flow hat that they have. I like that one too. Yeah.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I think the mellow yellow suit is the answer. I mean, you could go cars, but we said this is no cars allowed category. Does he want an award for what happened the next day? We're bringing this back. All right. What happens here? Does he end up with Claire Lewicki? Do they have kids? They don't, right? They break up.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
When we do the rewatches, Rooker is going to get a special achievement for some of his great moments. So we got Rooker. We got John C. Reilly. We get carry always who just keeps popping up in movies in the eighties and nineties, but there's no carry all these conversations. We get, uh, Fred Thompson, Randy Quaid. We get a produced by Simpson and Bruckheimer story by Robert town and Tom Cruz. Yeah.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I forgot to mention this in nitpicks. She goes from, she's 24 hours a day saving brains and working on people and then just available to go to any race. Yeah.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Oh, it's in Virginia. I'm there. Yeah. Hold on. I'll get something to cover my 16 hour shift. I heard Dover, Delaware. It's amazing. Coach Finstock award for best life lesson. I'm more afraid of being nothing than being hurt. I'm just going to take that into my life.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
What do you have Kyle for a best double feature choice?
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Unbelievable choice. Great job, man.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah. I don't, I'm not topping that. All right. This will get interesting. Who won the movie?
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I had Duvall 1A and Tony Scott 1B. Yeah. I know Cruz is a one seed. I just love Duvall in this movie. And I think he saves it from actually being a bad movie.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
I think if he's not in it, we're in a lot of trouble and it's just becomes like a, and Tony Scott has made these where it's just like, it's just Tony Scott doing stuff, but the movie's bad. I think that's where this lands. I don't feel that way about this movie. And it's 35 years old this summer.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
All right, big moment. Producer Craig had not seen this movie. Come on, baby. I know he loved the runtime, which is like 1.41. Somehow the rewatchables pod is going to be 15 minutes past it. What'd you think, Craig?
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
CulturePod with you and Andy Greenwald. You're on the big picture as well. Try not to sound too excited. Ringer Philly specials sometimes. Yeah. Not a lot of Sixers talk there lately. Kyle Brandt. Yeah. We can find you. Where can we find you? Tell us. It's Offseason NFL.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
How did he become our most patriotic director of the last 40 years? Just like...
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
getting airlifted and then he's in the hospital there's like no time to breathe i wonder how many of those car scenes are like we only can do one take of this yeah you know yeah what if they told tony scott for like the 15 year anniversary can you go back and do your director's edit of this i wanted like 15 more minutes
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Wow. That wasn't a take I was expecting from Craig.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, I think Don realized that two months later as he was on rail number nine. It's like, oh, fuck. We should have shown Rooker in the hospital bed.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Craig, how do you feel about Tony Scott from 90 to 94, 95, four in a row, Days of Thunder, Last Boy Scout, True Romance, Crimson Tide, just fucking banging him out back to back to back? One of the greats.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, I know. Sure. Yeah, so he's nine. So now he's tied with Michael Mann.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, Carrelli's has won.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
You know, Craig just made me think of that. This movie is missing. This would have been good picking it. Where is like ESPN sports center? There's such a natural cut to Chris Berman. And Tom Lee doing the, some crazy thing happened today in NASCAR. Russ Wheeler won a race. Watch Cole trickle here comes in and they just do the whole magic trickle.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Goes after Russ 18 Wheeler.
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‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
We're still Berman, Gail Gardner. I'm trying to think. Stu Scott's not even there yet. Yeah, it's still pretty early.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
But let's just say they weren't at Starbucks banging out plot points on a yellow notepad, I'm guessing. I agree.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, because by mid-90s, they were really starting to shoehorn ESPN into these sports movies, but I hadn't thought of it yet. All right, so thumbs up from Craig. Way to go, Craig.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Sure. So, Cruz, 16 rewatchables right now, Craig. It's going to be tough to catch them. Three up on De Niro and Pacino. There's some good De Niro left. There's less Pacino.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Well... Tom Cruise. We still have a few left, too, which is amazing. We still have a bunch of Mission Impossibles left. There's some really good ones. Craig, thanks for producing this podcast. CR, always great to see you. Kyle Brandt, a pleasure, as usual. Great to see you here on the Rewatchables.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Don't forget, you can watch this on the Ringer Movies YouTube channel, and you can always watch these podcasts on Spotify. See you next week.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Right. So this is a written by Robert town, Robert town for the younger ones, listening legendary screenwriter. I think detail.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
If you're just mentioning, Hey, who are the great screenwriters? His name is going to come up in the first five, six names you mentioned. So he's in there. Music by Hans Zimmer and Jeff Beck.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Just go. Just cook right now.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Not to step on casting what ifs, but... The movie's first offer to Harold Faltenmeier, our guy.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And Harold goes, you know, I'm not feeling it. Can I introduce you to my friend Hans Zimmer? And they're like, sounds great. And Hans is like, I'm thinking... There's some like orchestra stuff, but like a heavy electric guitar. Yes. And we just, and, and that's my, and they're like, go cook Hans.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Do it. I met Jeff Beck at a dinner party. He's going to come in and do the electric guitar. And then directed by Tony Scott, CR. Yes. Tony Scott now moving into first place in the all-time director rankings. As it should be. In the rewatchables.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Well, and then the other cool piece is, so in the 90s, we had the square TVs all the way through the 2000s. And now widescreens really helped us. HD, you can get this on 4K Blu-ray now, and it fucking looks amazing.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
You know, I didn't because it wasn't going to show up in time, but I'm going to. Okay. I'm going to get this in Rush, actually, because as you know, I love Rush, but I think those two. So in the all-time rewatchable standings, Cruise is now up to 16 rewatchables movies. He is a three movie lead over De Niro and Pacino. But more importantly, Tony Scott moves up to nine. in a tie with Michael Mann.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Is it good to get you groggy after four hours of content or are we just getting like, I don't know. It's like you've played your second NFL game in the same day. I'm concerned.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
And I don't know what we do now, CR. I feel like we almost have to get Michael Mann. We have a few left. I think we got to shoot one next. We can't have him be tied for first with anybody.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
So we're going to have to do a Ted Michael Mann movie next month. Yeah. No, there's some good ones left anyway. Yeah. I just wanted to flag that because I, you know, I know Michael's a huge fan of the pod. He is. Takes it really seriously. And I don't think he wants to share first place with Tony Scott.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, well, maybe that'll be it. So Richard Petty said of this movie, the only thing they got right was the numbers on the side of the cars. I don't think this was very well liked.
The Rewatchables
‘Days of Thunder’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt
Settle down, Richard Petty. Tom Cruise's First Prime, 1986 to 93. I think it's similar to LeBron, Brady, some of the great athletes, where it's like, oh, this first specific prime of Top Gun, Color of Money, Cocktail, Rain Man, Born the Fourth of July, Days of Thunder, Far and Away, Few Good Men, The Firm. It's like this confined eight-year run. Mm-hmm.
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‘Wayne’s World’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
It's Wayne. This is definitely the type of place I'm going to get when I move out of my parents' house. It's God. I love you, man. Thank you. And they've sold out. You know, I thought I had mono once for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored. Now they're out of the basement. Hi, Wayne. And they're headed for greatness. Get the net! Wavesworth. Hey, are you through yet?
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‘Wayne’s World’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Because I'm getting tired of holding this. Shut up. That's what she said. Rated PG-13. Starts Friday, February 14th at theaters everywhere.
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‘Wayne’s World’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I see a little silhouette of a man. Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the fandango? Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me.
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‘Wayne’s World’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Cassandra. Cassandra. Rough night, huh? Everybody's kung fu fighting. Yeah. Yeah. Well, nice meeting you. Hey, hold on. Can I call you sometime? You got five bucks. You can come to the red party. It's at my loft. I'm there.
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‘Wayne’s World’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I'll have the cream of some young guy.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Welcome to the brand new Zach Lowe Show. That's right. I'm back to have the same in-depth NBA conversations you're used to. We're going to talk about the games. Yeah, the games, the X's and O's, the drama, the trades, the playoffs are coming up. And now you get to see every episode in full on video on Spotify and on my own YouTube channel.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
They're the best. You said like it's a great hang movie or airplane movie because the lead character changes every 10 minutes and you get a different cool voice from Kilmer and he just gets to cook. So I did a top five. I got the top five, my top five characters in this. All right. And I'll start with number five. Number five is at the end of the embassy. It's Southern accent goatee guy.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
He's number five because he sounds like Doc Holliday. And it's like, oh, shit, he's doing Doc. And he has to get into the file himself. Number four, Spanish guy on plane who's swinging the medallion. Yeah.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
He's got a little bit of the lizard King. His hair almost looks like Ron Perlman and beauty and the beast. He's got number three. Um, I got the, uh, the old, the grumpy, uh, cold fusion, mumbo jumbo. You don't believe in this type of stuff. I like him. He's like a cross between Ernie McCracken and Joseph Lieberman. Like he's just all over the place.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Terrible teeth, terrible comb over, and he hits on the young girl. Two, I got a German lipstick guy. It's so early. Do you want some coffee or something? Love in the train terminal with the lipstick and everything.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I can't remember their names. Is it named Bruno?
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Yes. He has the hair, like the guy from firehouse. Like it's, and then number one, I got, I got the artist Thomas with the wine and the sculpting and the, like, I think that's the best part of the movie. I, that's my guy. You.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Quick cameo in the background with a mop.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
He's cosplaying Ivan Trediak right to his face. It's great.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Listen, I actually don't like the scenes when he's not somebody. The weak link of this movie, Bill, when he's not in disguise, he's not that great. It's kind of a little bit boring when he's just Val Kilmer. You're like, get back to the disguise. Even the Australian guy is like, guns make me nervous. I like it all. I don't want him out of costume ever.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, he's driving his car around. He's kind of fucking around. He's leaving notes for her. But when he's just Simon, it's like... You know how you said you don't really know what Kilmer is doing in heat? He's kind of just underplanning and brooding. He's not doing much as Simon. He's just letting the action handle it. He's letting Moscow handle it because it looks really cool.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
As a guy who was going to movies all the time, you and me as well, were you going out and being like, I got to see John Goodman as Fred Flintstone. I'm there. I wasn't, I didn't care. I was kind of annoyed by it. I was a late teenager. And like, even now I'm like those movies I have no desire to watch. I would never show one of my kids.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Matt LeBlanc's in there. Lacey Chabert, William Hurt. Right. They rounded up some folks. Why did we do this? And it amounted to nothing. We don't need. It's not like Star Trek or Star Wars. Lost in Space is kind of a reach, guys. We need that. But they're like anything that was on TV. Let's do it. They never made a Gilligan movie, but I'm surprised they didn't.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Well, they're now making White Shadow, but in 20 years, they're going to be remaking White Lotus and people are just going to absolutely love it. It's cool. They just hang out at hotels and fuck around. The shows we're watching now in 20, 30 years, they'll be something.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, I've been really moved by this, more so than I even expected to be over the last 48 hours. I've been upset. I've been on our show, Good Morning Football, talking about it as much as the NFL will allow me to just talk about an actor and not Cam Ward or Shadur Sanders. And I think I'm a little surprised how upsetting it was because... This is not Tom Cruise or Harrison Ford or Tom Hanks.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Well, then let me say this as we remember Kilmer. Shu has an Oscar. Val Kilmer never nominated for an Oscar, never nominated for a Golden Globe ever in his life. And I've seen a lot of things this week. And I think we should we should mention this. A lot of people are saying, oh, my God, Doc Holliday and Tombstone. How is he not nominated? It's an outrage. He wasn't nominated.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I'm like, yeah, he's incredible. I went and did the rewatchables thing, Bill, and I looked at who was nominated that year for Best Supporting Actor. Holy shit.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
All right. 1993, it was Tombstone, so it'd be the 94 Oscars. Let me read you the Best Supporting Actor nominees. Leonardo DiCaprio, Gilbert Grave. Jesus. Ray Fiennes, Schindler's List. John Malkovich in The Line of Fire. Pete Postlethwaite for In the Name of the Father. And the Oscar goes to Tommy Lee Jones for The Fugitive. I knew that was an elevated train. Dude, that's a lineup.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
And remind me, that would have been before everyone started shitting on how hard difficulty was, or maybe that's part of that.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
No, I think it worked. And we talked about this, but we get now up to The Saint, where I remember the story about it was more than about the movie. It was about Val Kilmer as an asshole. That was just it was like the story was written about it. Sometimes this happens, especially back then before Internet like Waterworld. It was just is expensive and it's not that good. Like, don't even like it.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Or like we're even seeing it now with with like with Snow White. It's terrible. It's terrible because of all these reasons. You don't even have to see the movie to know it's a disaster or at least be told that it is the same. And some of that going on where it's just it's the Val Kilmer asshole project and it's not good, but it is pretty cool.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Don't you just smile when you see that guy?
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
It's not one of these like all time leading man legends. It's just someone who has shown up for in our life for years and years and was always cool. And I'm looking at him, Bill. It's like we lost the coolest character actor of all time. And that I think really was what he was. And that's really his legacy.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
He's in everything. You need a Russian guy who's kind of evil but charismatic and has a cool beard. Yeah. That is your guy.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
He's totally able-bodied. He certainly doesn't need it to walk. Listen, this is a little window dressing, a little lipstick to put on him. They even occasionally he'll do the like... Like, and they'll add the sound effects when he does it, like he's Zorro or something. And then at the end, you knew there was going to be a weapon and there's like this little sticker that comes out of the end.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
That guy, like, let's just say we can revisit that actor when it comes to recasting. And I think they're like, we got to give this guy some, we got the ponytail and we got the cane and the cocaine watch. Let's dress him up a little bit.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
The ironic thing was Kilmer's last movie before this is Batman Forever, in which Jim Carrey has a cane that Carrey has talked about. He worked for months to get to do all those, like, the baton twirling thing. And he does it the whole movie. That's what you're looking for from the young Trediak.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
No, that movie played. That movie got the plane down. The next one that came out was the disaster with Clooney and Schwarzenegger. And that one is just unwatchable garbage. Well, Schwarzenegger is Mr. Freeze.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
everybody chill. And it was just, and by the way, like Kilmer is look back. And at the time they're like, you said no to a Batman movie. Nobody does that. He made the right choice. He dodged that bullet and he gave us the same instead, which is way better than Batman and Robin.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Looked like a leading man, had the talent of a leading man, but was better off playing bass instead of being the lead singer.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Well, I was more Pearl Jam, but listen, and this is my what's the most 1997 thing about this movie. He's sitting around on his shitty 1997 computer negotiating with the mafia, just blasting some Smashing Pumpkins in his apartment.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
No problem. And then he's in a chase scene with a shootout and he puts the pumpkins back on as he drives. And it's like, there was some exec bill that went to the filmmakers. They're like, we got to get some pumpkins in. They're hot. Just put them in. And we're like, it's a movie in Russia. It doesn't really fit. Fucking put them in. It's a cover of a car song and they're driving a car.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
It makes sense. And I'm bobbing my head. You're all I've got tonight.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
So listen, 90s soundtracks, if you want to put it up there. The Crow is up there for me. Last Action Hero.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Judgment Night. And singles, obviously. Singles is probably the number one. But those are the ones you had to have.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Kirkland Brand, Basic Instinct, also known as Sliver. Tough one.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
And people are freezing to death because they can't heat their homes.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Same with me. I think you just said some things that explained it to me. I'm supposed to pretend I know what you're talking about. And I'm nodding. I'm like, Oh, that's what happened. But you know, it's the same thing. There were same reactions to mission impossible the year before was no one understood what the fuck the plot is. And, and why is this guy alive now?
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
And he wasn't, and it was very, very hard to follow. And, uh, in the meantime, in this movie, it's like, uh, What is this cold fusion? I had no idea what that is and what that means, especially me seeing it at 17. And then I knew the girl who was on the soccer team with Daniel LaRusso invented it. So it's very confusing. And I don't know where we're going. But thank you for explaining it to me.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Never mind the people. I'd never gotten it.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
It would have been a, anything you can do, I can do better with Mission Impossible. It would have been a cold war because they would try to one-up each other every time. And, you know, Mission Impossible, Cruz is hanging from the wires above the floor. Like, it was really cool. Saint 2 would have been there. Also,
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I'm just mad that they didn't have the crossover and that Ethan Hunt and Simon Templar didn't have a shower scene in their towels where they're just nipping out and looking at each other and telling them, you're everyone's problem. That's the scene we need.
The Rewatchables
‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Episodes drop every Monday and Thursday with a collection of guests you're going to love. So make sure... You follow and subscribe to the brand new Zach Lowe Show on Spotify or wherever you watch or listen to your podcasts. Let's go!
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
And I liked the nutty Saint. Did you not like the nutty professor? It was hilarious.
The Rewatchables
‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
How about the flex on Simon as he's falling down? He removes his mustache as he's falling. I don't know if that's totally necessary, but he lands on what looks like an inflatable truck. And every time he fucks over the Russians, guys, you get that...
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Thomas Moore, the artist, who is like, he does the South African accent, which is very difficult to do. You saw Damon pulled it off in the soccer movie. And then Kilmer learned it on set in Ghost in the Darkness. And he showed up. It's very difficult to do. I have a lot to say about this scene from start to finish with Shu and the painting and the sculpture and the wine. It's fantastic.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
It's full Bret Hart stone cold razor. Cut yourself. And when he falls, there's that awesome moment where before he cuts himself, he goes, what are you doing? And then he just does it. And he's like, I was weeping and I was thinking of you. And she just falls for it. I have this unanswerable question, Bill.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
First of all, because this comes after the badass move with the wine where he's like, sir, that's 400, da, da, da, da, which no waiter ever does. And he goes, let's take two of them. You count it. If you did that entire sequence to a woman, would that work in 2025? Would it just go disastrously? I don't know. If you're bleeding and cutting yourself, probably not, right?
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
This is, I guess, one of the smartest, most progressive scientists in the world. She gets up in front of students and she goes... I don't really have anything to say. Like, do you have any questions? And then they don't. Of course, she's like, please. And finally, one of these students is just like, how's it work?
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
And then she starts spouting this shit about, well, positively charged deuterons attached to the palladium cathode. It's like, is this like a 12th grade science project? Does she have a diorama? It's the most unsophisticated shit ever. And Val just sits back and he's just got hard eyes. He's like, I'm going to give away my entire style of living for this girl. I love her.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
And I guess so Bill Simmons did too. You know, I thought it worked.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
This is my book report on Are You There, God? It's me, Margaret. What are you doing? There's no gravitas at all. But listen, I know we're jumping around. One of the key character moments for her is when they're about to do it and she goes into the bathroom and she's like, this is really happening. I'm like, are you a fucking virgin? What is this?
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Why do I feel like you're 16 at the homecoming dance? This is so weird. You're like in your 30s, I think.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Bad news for ESPN, though. Dana White's already adding it to his slap fight repertoire.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Listen, I had this for Benihana. This is a movie that features Red Square in Moscow. And I'm still like, I don't know. The Russian mafia rat race prostitute coke den is pretty badass. Bill, they have a fucking mariachi band inexplicably there. I don't know why. That place is wild. I want to party there.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Definitely. And, you know, to continue the Randy Moss comparison, he at the end of his career, before he got really sick, it was Randy Moss on the 49ers and on the Titans. And it just wasn't happening anymore. But I think also part of his legacy is like, go to anybody and say, what's your favorite Val Kilmer role? Or you know what? What's your favorite three Val Kilmer roles?
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I remember being in the theater in this scene and people were losing their minds. They could not believe that they were pulling this off. And I hate to have this angle on. I'm watching it yesterday and I was like, Tom Cruise does this before he has breakfast now. I've seen this so many times done way bigger. At the time in 97, it was like, wow, Kilmer's holding his breath for that long?
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Tom Cruise holds his breath for an hour while he's spelunking. It's just the game has changed since back then. You know what I mean? It's like now everybody's running 4-3. The linebackers run 4-3. It's different now.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, and he's 25 years older at this point. He's just outdoing everybody.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Can you make sure it's like a smoking hot black bra? Make sure it's not just some entry-level thing. I need something sexy. That's a landmark scene for me.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Um, they do. And I, Bill, I don't know if you have this here or somewhere else, but you sent me the link of the alternate ending that they did somewhere else.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Well, discuss it because I had never seen that before and I watched it riveted and it's, it's radically different what they did.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I bet he's not the lead in any of those movies. I bet he's not. It's like his four most famous roles or five, six even. It's just like we're at Iceman. We're at Doc Holliday. We're at Chris from Heat. And then just other kind of supporting stuff like his lead vehicles, even though we're doing one today. The Saint is a hack for him. He figured it out.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Yeah. I, I don't, I think that they pivoted to the bigger love story because there was reshoots and I know shoe is in a bunch of them. And after the light comes on in the red square, it turns into a Nicholas Sparks novel. And it's like, they're at a cottage making love and like kissing each other in bed. They ended it with the love story. And that was a choice.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
And they're like, let's have more shoe. And I saw, I watched the video. It looked like a kind of a Pierce Brosnan era, James Bond ending. It was fine. It was fine.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I still like my guy, Thomas, the artist, when he's just like, just a traveler searching for truth. What are you searching for? And she's like, I found it. I'm looking for you. Let's jump in the sack. That's my scene.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, this was still paging people, 911, call me. Nobody had that thing, and that's why it was so cool. I do like what you said about everything about the internet. How come when they email each other in this movie, it looks like a Wheel of Fortune screen, where there's like six words at a time, that's all you can do, and it blew our minds back then?
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, this is up there. And he's constantly on the computer. And they're in their car on the computer, and there's one of those antennas that comes out of the car to get an internet signal. The emailing is very strange. What do you have for this category? I'll go with the phone. I had Smashing Pumpkins earlier, but I like the phone that turns into a computer.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
He said, I want to play cool little interesting side characters. So just give me a movie where I play 10 of those and sew them together. And that's why it's fun to watch Val in The Saint.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Because in the last 30 minutes, it turns into Death Wish and he just starts kicking ass.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I'd always heard that at the end of Pretty Woman that Edward was going to die or something before he goes back and gets Vivian. And they're like, no, no, no. Give us a good ending. It's the 90s. People want this type of thing.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
No, don't do that. Cause then we, we needed to bring shoe back for the sequel that we never got to suck.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
It's a great, great little thing that happens. And you and I, we've been on this a lot lately. Yeah. You and I in CR, we did Nicole Kidman in Days of Thunder as the brain surgeon. We obviously had Roadhouse and Kelly Lynch is like the 10. She's the local surgeon just stapling up guys from the Double Deuce and Jasper. And it's the Kelly Lynch scale.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Not to say that incredibly beautiful woman couldn't have positions like this, but it's a very small percentage. I also don't think the male neurosurgeon is going to be like Legends of the Fall Brad Pitt. Like that's not going to happen either. You're not going to look like that.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Yes. Yeah. And she and Clooney both together, just sultry on the screen, but they're trying to disable nukes in the middle of New York city.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I love it the second I see that guy whatever his name is we'll get to it later he makes me happy he also shows up on Eyes Wide Shut with Tom Cruise he runs the costume store he's the guy who always runs it I have one I always like when there's any kind of laser force field you have to navigate to get through to steal something very securely me too with the red lights and you're like oh my god how do you do that so many red lines yes
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
And he has that cool suit that puts his body temperature. That shit always works. I also like when someone says, kill him, but bring her back alive. That sets up a great dynamic. And there's always a follow-up line where someone's like, he's still alive, you idiots. Watch where you're shooting. That always happens. It's so fun.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Don't ask. Just put it in. I don't know. I rewound. I was like, is that a Klan poster? What is that doing here? No idea. Not a clue, but I guess that just makes them evil or something. Don't know.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I had this under unanswerable. Bill, is this the way it works? If I'm in some place with conflict, can I just sprint to the U.S. embassy and start screaming, I'm an American, I'm an American, and then it becomes this game of Red Rover and you have to run through them? Because if I'm screaming I'm an American, I feel like they would gun me down or something. That's alarming.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Do they know you're American? Do you have a Springsteen t-shirt on or something? How do they know?
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Because you know they're Russians. They can't hide that shit. You know. There's not a chance. They're trained to spot those guys.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I think Dr. Emma eats her feelings a little bit. She's very lonely and she goes to that restaurant. It's right down the block from her apartment. That's like, she's like, oh, Emma, you want the regular spaghetti meatballs again? Yes, please.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
by the way uh i know you're a kind of wine guy adjacent like i am yeah it's the latour 1957 and apparently all the wine snobs online did you see this they they say that it stops being it was last drinkable in the mid-80s so him ordering it in 1996 is like you're a decade late so they're odd on this movie loses all credibility i don't give a shit about it but
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
No, unless it's the rat-raised coke den with the prostitutes and the mariachi bands.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, one of those two. A lot of great scenes in this movie.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
It's a little more subtle than, than, than Kilmer blasting on his Bose speakers and his Volvo with the pumpkins. So sneaker pimps is cool. Six underground. Take me down. It's awesome. Great song.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, I wouldn't go there. And it's not even like a cool pumpkin song, like something out of Gish or Disarms. It's a Cars cover I never heard of since then.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Tretiak ground and pound is lethal. And Joe Rogan is just talking about it. He can stand up. He's a little vulnerable, but you get him down. Right. It could be anything. He could definitely be standing on his head winning the Conn Smythe for the Buffalo Sabres too. That's a great, great name.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
We've hit a lot of them already. It has major third act problems, as we know. But I just, when he's not in costume, Simon's not great. He's not terribly charismatic. He's underplaying it. He's doing this puppy dog love thing. I don't love when Kilmer is just being Kilmer in this movie. I like him when he's dressed up.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, she's like, you stole my cold fusion. Like, what's your problem? And he goes, you're everyone's problem. I don't like cold fusion because it's dangerous. It's unsafe. That's what I want. The whole fucking, with aviators too.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
random in and out hosts they've ever had he's doing Top Gun he does Jim Morrison again he's just floating around all these different things but if you guys if you're looking for some Kilmer this week and we all are one of the sketches Bill's talking about is it's with Chris Parnell and Will Ferrell and later in life Tom Kazansky is just an airline pilot but he's still doing all this he's like we got a bogey at six o'clock he's got tone on us and Parnell's like that's the 935 out of Tampa calm down it's it's a great sketch
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
If you haven't watched this movie in a while, you might have forgotten the first seven minutes in which a kid gets caned by a priest and then two 10-year-olds kiss and one falls to her death. I don't want to see dead kids in the first five minutes of my Val Kilmer movie. What is that?
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I think so. And listen, when Michael Keaton does Batman and they kill his parents, it's not the opening scene of the movie. First, he's going to kick a little ass as Batman. Like, I don't want the dead kid to start the movie. Yeah.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Well, Noyce, who sounds like a Key and Peele sketch, he is just coming off working with Harrison Ford for two straight movies. And maybe he liked that experience a little bit better. Now, listen, Bill, let's not pretend that the idea of like a young, badass, like L.A. Confidential era Russell Crowe wouldn't have killed it as the same. Let's not pretend. No disrespect to Val.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
We're here for Val, but it would have been pretty cool.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I know. It's bad form after it's not looked down great to blame Val. I mean, you tell me, is this J.J. Redick not losing in the playoffs and blaming LeBron? Like, isn't that, like, it's the coach blaming the player. It's not cool. I don't like it.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
What's Age the Worst? Oh, What's Age the Worst. The stunts aren't up to par in 2025. The stuff they do in this movie, Cruise does in his personal life for free. It's just we've seen so much since then. It hasn't aged great.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
The underacting award would be interesting. The Val Kilmer is the same underacting award. I'm a reach. Kilmer, after he comes out of the freezing water, is really going for it, but he should be going for it. He's freezing to death.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I, again, Elizabeth Shue, who is probably 35 years old and acts like she's never had sex before or kissed a boy in her life in her bathroom, fixing her hair and saying, this is happening, this is happening. Take it easy. It's a little much.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I was going to go Val, but all roads lead to Shu for me. That Shu always fits. I think Elizabeth Shu is the greatest movie kisser of all time. I think she's the girl. She is fucking going for it in this movie. Every time she and Val kiss, it's intense. It's kind of an open mouth. And then I had the pleasure of going down a YouTube wormhole and just going every time.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Cocktail, she and Cruz in the water. And Cruz is real weird, but there's like full tongue and everything. It's deep.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
And if you look at her and LaRusso outside the arcade, they're like really young and it looks like it, but big time, like no little tight lip thing. I even watched Leaving Las Vegas in which she's kissing someone drinking himself to death and it's still gorgeous.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, and it was just Elizabeth Shue kissing. My computer was like, wow, this stuff's light for you. This is great. I can handle this. This is PG rated. And I think she is the greatest kisser of all time. She goes for it so much in this. It's awesome.
The Rewatchables
‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Well, I shave with a Mach 3. If you think you're dead, all right, Tom. It's a perfect sketch. He made fun of himself. And it's funny, Bill, because, like, it's a pretty serious guy. It's a very serious actor. You know, like, we can get into the whole thing. If people don't know, like... Oh, I'm ready right now. Let's do it. Youngest student ever into Juilliard in New York City.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
You don't want to save Cold Fusion? That's your business. But somebody else can play the role. What a jerk.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, he didn't. He lost. Did you see Bill, like, in the recastables or the... Did you see Schwarzenegger's name? Was that there?
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
How is he going to do a South African accent? He can't even do an American accent. He's been here 50 years.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Okay. He's in a lot of stuff. That's our guy, Tommy Flanagan. He's in Braveheart. He's in the game. He's around and he's in, and his character in this movie, it's, it's ridiculous. It's characters named Scarface, which is so on the fucking nose.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
It's like, I don't even know why they call them that, but you know, I'm, I'm sensitive now with the bat guy ever since Craig got all sensitive and became, I know Tommy Flanagan's name. It's like the Bob Balaban rule. So I don't know if that counts. I know Tommy. I mean, I know his name.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
You want to know something cool about Ilya? His real name, his first name is Valerie, V-I-L-E-R-Y, and he goes by Val. So he was two Vals on the same fucking set chasing each other.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I thought you were going to say Emily Mortimer did not enjoy working with you. You know what? Fuck you, Emily Mortimer.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, Fiennes finds a competing in this one.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, or whatever. It's so snooty. Get out of here.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I mean, we can't change the city. It's post-Cold War Russia. It looks fucking amazing. I watched the movie. I'm like, are they really there? They are. They're really there. It's incredible.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
And if you've never seen like his upbringing, this guy grows up in Chatsworth in LA in the Valley. He's got a couple of brothers. His younger brother is like the creative one in the family. He's the director. He's going to go on and be the successful brother. His younger brother dies in the family jacuzzi at 15 years old, like just dies there right there on the property.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
He's in the fuck you line with Gene Siskel.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
This would have been right after seven, I think.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, because Kilmer and Douglas are friends from the Lion movie. They would pass it along. There's a synergy there. Listen, I would take Fincher. I'll always go with a Val Kilmer, Tony Scott. It's sitting right there.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I have... Oh, I had a couple of them. I was going to do the porn parody, but that's too easy. It's just called The Taint. And then I was going to do... I think I'm going to do, Bill, I'm going to do the Dan Campbell, holy shit, they're really going for it award. And that goes to... Oh, my God.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Elizabeth Shue is actually going to strip down and press her body against freezing Val Kilmer in the black bra. We rewound that scene so much. That was in the 90s Rewind Hall of Fame. It's sexy as hell. I love that scene. And it kicks it up a notch because up to that point, Elizabeth Shue is the girl with the diorama and the spaghetti.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
And now she's like, all right, I got to become a woman right now. It's awesome.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Well, you're about to believe because your instincts were just off. It's not Rich Eisen, but I'm breaking some news here. The reason Peter Schrager left Good Morning Football was he had a no eye contact rule on set. Oh, shit. And eventually it rubbed the crew wrong and they kind of turned against it. They said it's him or me. And then so he went to ESPN.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I don't know if he has the same rule there, but Peter, I'm sorry to break this, but you know it's true as well. No eye contact with the Schrags.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Our relationship is over. I'm just going to burn it down now. It's over. I don't care. Screw it, Peter. Sorry, bud. You got stuff on me too. Air it out. No eye contact for Peter ESPN. Don't do it.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
And shortly after that, Kilmer shows up at Juilliard and like, let's act. And he is like a true, true thespian who is all about characters, acting, method, all of it. But then he wound up in movies like Top Gun, which just are for kicking ass and eating popcorn, which was fun.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I thought, I thought Bill, you're going to show up for this pod wearing a team Schrags t-shirt. I'm so relieved that you didn't. I thought for sure you were.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
He put out the cigarette on the crew members.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
That's like Redfoot flicking the cigarette in McManus' face and usual suspects. You don't do that. If you do that, someone gets killed. You can't do that.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I think it's 95 when he does Batman and Heat.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
When he's doing this, his reputation is in the gutter and people don't want to work with him. It's the year before this, I think. Two years before.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Did Born ever go to Moscow? I feel like he went everywhere. Yeah, probably. It's up there. It's cool.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
You know it's big because the Trediak's guys, his goons are driving around blasting the electronic movie in their cars while they're looking for somebody. When you're looking for somebody, you turn the volume down when you get there. I can't even make it through a Trader Joe's parking lot with music on and they're zipping around looking. It's cool. It's energetic.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Give me what you got. I feel like you're about to crow hop into this one.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
What do you got? I don't know. What do you got?
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
so i have this this it's it's impossible and because the it's the opposite of hot fusion you just do it at room temperature i always look at cold fusion bill like people look at hoverboards like when are we going to have that shit we've been like when are the flying cars and where is free clean energy for the entire world that with that movie has been out for 30 years or something there's still no cold fusion i guess it never will be it's not happening yeah
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I have Scorsese because part of Kilmer's story when he was young, he would make audition videos for himself. And he made an entire short movie of him as Henry Hill that he got to Martin Scorsese because he wanted to play Henry Hill. And this is after he gave one to Kubrick to play Joker in Full Metal Jacket and also didn't get it. I think he was like completely obsessed with Scorsese.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
And I would love to see him do it. We'd have to do it probably in Rome instead of Moscow or maybe Milan or something. But I think it works.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Yeah. We'd have to upgrade, uh, Emma's pasta and meatballs to, to something that like, then the pasta meatballs makes sense.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Now we're doing chicken parm and there's like some, yes.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
he's wearing a Scotty G Scotty J t-shirt that's too tight that's the problem with this category I anytime I either for some reason I just think of Scotty J or I think of what's our guy's name and a talented Mr. Ripley I always try to put those two guys in and those guys are so weird listen my answer to this is I want to see him play the fucking saint I want to see him do all those parts oh wow let's really let Phil Seymour Hoffman cook and be the Russian guy and the artist like that's the artist part that's what I want I like it
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
And she's also going to write it on some fucking post-it notes and put it in her bra. What are we doing? It's the secret of the world. Everyone's looking for it. Why don't you just put it in a save for a computer? Anything. It doesn't make sense.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
All right. I have a couple. Doesn't his wig come off during sex? Like they de-robe and they go at it and he's got a wig on and it doesn't even become askew or anything. It just tells me that maybe the sex was kind of tame and the vibe I'm getting from Emma might indicate that. Yeah. Then I have a similar one right after she's lying on him for like however long to warm him up.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Is it possible he can get up and run away from the Russians with a massive erection? He definitely has. There's no fucking way he's running up and down stairs like that immediately after that. It always struck me as like, God, that's so hot. I don't think he'd be able to run afterwards. I think he's fully aroused.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Like a reverse Viagra. So those pick nits with me. And then the only other one I have is like, she's sitting there with those British detectives or whoever they are and she starts listing saints and she's like, Isn't it obvious? It's all Saints names. It's like, you caught that that fast?
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
That felt like the Tone Loke, this slick thing is no joke moment from Heat where the whole movie turns on that. It's a little much.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, really fast. That's the power of Shu, man. Just incredible.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Just when he kisses her, the last kiss that he has before she goes into the huge like auditorium, he shows up two minutes later in the full Ernie McCracken wig, glasses and teeth and everything in a completely different outfit. Just perfect. Does that in a men's room? Or like a phone booth or anything.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
When she gets to the embassy, she turns into DK Metcalf running down Buddha Baker and it's like, Jesus, Dr. Emma, you're in the wrong field. That's the real energy.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Well, it is still the NCAA tournament going on. So I would like to hear Gus Johnson calling Elizabeth Shue warming up the Saints with her body heat. And I think it would sound like this.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
All right. Well, I have not seen that happening because I'd be like that guy in the reality show who's watching his girlfriend have sex with the new guy. I can't watch Peter Schrager on. Get up on. Yes, I can't do it. I just so I've heard it's happened and I'm glad it's happened. I'm very happy for Peter. But we had a nine year marriage.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I can't see him with his rebound relationship or a new marriage. I just can't do it. Peter can't do it. I love you, but I'll tune in eventually. I just need an adjustment period.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Listen, I laugh out loud when he drives past the British cops at the end. He honks the horn of this fucking Volvo and it goes like it's Dukes of Hazzard or something. Why does he have the signature honk?
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I've always wanted to start a winery. Should we do that together? No, I don't think so. I can't see them playing Scattergories like on game night. But I don't know if he's going to leave her. Like, isn't she the one who has all the power now and all the money? He's trying to get up to 50 million and she has like the trillion dollar idea.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
So maybe he's trying to stay with her because he's driven by money as much as anybody.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Remember in Wedding Crashers when Isla Fisher tells Vince Vaughn that was her first time? I feel that that scene was missing from this movie. I just want you to know that was my first time, Thomas. What? What do you mean? I think that was her first time.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
I just had the question is Thomas's seduction of Emma illegal or immoral where like he goes, finds out everything about her, completely seduces her based on like information from breaking and entering her apartment. Um, it's probably not, not, not ideal, but they did it in 1997 and nobody batted an eye. And then we already covered running into an embassy and saying you're American.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Peter, I didn't see the joke. I'm sure it was a very funny Justin Fields joke. I'm sure you're killing it. I love you, bud. Um, I don't like the idea of Russia getting like this free unlimited energy, especially since Bill, that president is a beta. Like that president is soft as hell. Like he does not have the clutch gene. He's sitting there in his jammies while people are kicking his ass.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
He's going to be out in seconds and some dictator is going to take over. And I don't know what the translation in Russian is for get up, but I think we would be saying it right now.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Um, I'm going to look on the online if I can see and get you that cane, like the end of the year gift. Mine is always, uh, if there is a film and we do a lot of them where there is a boot that has a hidden knife in it, I want that fucking boot. I want the boot, whether it's from roadhouse, whether it's from cyborg, there's a knife in a boot that is always going to be my piece of memorabilia.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
You couldn't because it would come out when you're just walking then. The Roadhouse guy is so white trash that his blade is just out all the time.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
There's no retractable. But I think probably for Simon, he has something digital like a remote in his wrist or something. But I don't know. You flick it out with your toe. I'd like to find boots with knives. Do they make them like for people who are self-defense and things like that in bars? I don't know if it's an actual industry.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, you're right. It was just stored in there. Yeah, I don't know.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
It kind of looks like evil spy Bill Simmons. Nope. It says right here, Clyde Drexler. Let him pass. That's it. All right. They're tight. It's ridiculous.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Yeah, I think you hit it right. It'd be like if you just did, you know, my secret thing is I do Red Sox outfielders. They'll never find out. I guess they will. There's only so many Catholic saints. It's not that many.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Do you want to do a rewatchables of just tomorrow's episode of Get Up?
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
So is mine. All right. I think we're bringing it full circle about Val Kilmer. Once I see this and I see him play these little characters and do these voices, I'm putting on Tombstone. I'm ready to play for Blood. I'm Huckleberry. I'm fucking ready. And Vino Veritas. I'm going to watch Tombstone.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Even as someone who hasn't seen it, I know there's one part of it that you're forgetting. Isn't it the world's smallest man is in it? Like a very small human being.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Yeah. So I know he's in it, but I've never seen it. I've got to say, Bill, probably not going to be seeing that movie at some point.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
It's a better play. Any free time I have, I'm trying to allocate to Jim Cotta. I can't dedicate it to Dr. Moreau. I'm trying to put it all towards Jim Cotta. That's for you too.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Listen, it was locked. And then Val Kilmer passed away. Like it changed the whole schedule. I was I had takes already. I was I was ready. We'll get there.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Val Kilmer. Val Kilmer. The late. I hate saying this. The late great Val Kilmer.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
And to me, I miss the juice. Maybe this should go under, like, what's aged the best. I miss the problematic on-set actor, like, shoving the director and busting up the hotel room. You know, we got it a few years later after Kilmer. It was Russell Crowe. Right. But, I mean, listen, Eddie Vedder was difficult. Axl Rose was a complete asshole. Like, those were my heroes in music. Yeah.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
And there was something that was... I don't know if it's romantic, but maybe it was just good old-fashioned cool about, oh, yeah, he and Joel Schumacher exchanged blows on the set of Batman. Kilmer won't take any shit. He's so hard to work with, but he's so talented. They still do it. I thought that was kind of cool back in the day.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Well, I think that's why also The Saint is actually a great movie to do for the Val Kimmerer tribute because I think this is the most interesting juncture of his career. He's at the crossroads. So he's doing his thing. This is post-Heath. This is post-Tombstone. Michael Keaton decides, I'm out on Batman. I'm not doing it. Kilmer gets a call while he's in Africa saying, Batman's yours.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Doesn't read a script, doesn't do anything, signs up for it. And he talks about this in his documentary. And this is when my opinion of Val Kilmer jumped leaps and bounds. He was so miserable playing Batman, not just because of Schumacher, but he's surrounded by Jim Carrey and Tommy Lee Jones, who are actors, actors, and performers. And they're just
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
painting scenery and chewing shit up and like owning every scene. And he's sitting there and saying these stupid Batman lines and he can't move and he can't act. And it was like torture for him. I just, it was, it was heartbreaking to hear it for an artist. He's like, everyone wants to be Batman. I don't think everyone necessarily wants to play Batman. Like that's Val Kilmer.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
And it wasn't ostensibly because it was a hit, but not like a mega hit. And then Kilmer was probably difficult. And then what is the other reason sitting there?
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
So Mission Impossible comes out in 96. And why not go head to head with that? They can't do it. Mavericks got too much for Iceman. Is that the reason?
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
Yes, let's go. It's like Real Housewives. Just move them all over. The coolest thing that the Saint does is the costumes, right? The problem is, though, is that Mission Impossible almost does the exact same thing with the masks. Almost kind of in a cooler way.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
It's like they take their best club and hit it better. You know what I mean? Yeah. And it's just, Cruz is a little more compelling than Kilmer when he's just being the agents. And so I hear you on that. Like it's Mission Impossible's superior product. And then the Saint would have to market correct it a year later and it didn't have that kind of firepower.
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‘The Saint’ With Bill Simmons and Kyle Brandt
And it cuts even worse because meanwhile, you know, Kaczynski is trying to make up for it by getting with Maverick's girl from Cocktail. And like that doesn't do anything either. Like there's a whole universe involved here.