Kimberly Coaster

Oh, when I see a hot guy, I'm like, damn. I could have gave birth to him. Probably screwed his dad in college. Yeah, you know, I do get hit on a lot. I wonder if, like, men have a menopause fetish. Like, damn, that cougar could tear me up. I would tear you up. Because I'm dry as fuck. You would have more pleasure rubbing your wiener on a cheese grater. I spread my knees, tumbleweeds roll out.

Last guy came up coughing. They sent a canary into the cavern. He's dead. It's all dead inside.

Thank you.

Thank you. I know Molly, too.

Four years.

I started in Denver. I just moved to Austin in January.

Say that again?

Yes. Well, yes. Also, you know, I just became a single mom. Sorry, an empty nester. And, you know, I just... How many kids have you had? I have two boys in their 20s.

They're out and about.

Well, one of them moved to Oregon. And the other one is... He's growing pot. Yeah, probably. And the other one is joining the Army. He actually goes to boot camp in two weeks.

I am. I've been single for 15 years. Awesome.

I became a single mom when they were five and seven.

He's Mexican.

Well, I don't know. I used to date a lot. But I had this six-month rule when my kids were little. I would only date someone for six months before I let them meet my kids. That makes sense. And at six months, I was like, they are not worthy of meeting my kids. So I had a lot of six-month relationships.

Oh, occasionally.

You know, I... I do like karaoke and I'm afraid to say that because I don't want you to need to sing.

Love Shack, baby.

In Colorado, I had... As big as a whale!

Oh, in Colorado, like, I had a karaoke group. Oh, my goodness. We would go around to every... That's great.

We would go around to every karaoke place, and, you know, you'd always know the same people. It was like... But I'm finding that... I'm trying to find that here.

Jackalopes after Kill Tony.

You know, I think my apartment's haunted.

I was... I was practicing yodeling, and the... Oh, my God.

I didn't, you know, and this light just kept flashing on and off. And it hasn't done it before or since. And I don't know if it liked the yodeling or if it hated the yodeling.