Kevin Wildes
Appearances
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Thank you.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Thank you.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
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The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
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The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
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The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
I'm ready for the, the wilt, the wilt Renaissance. Like it's already happening. You think so? He has a lightly managed YouTube presence where every once in a while the algorithm will serve me up like, here's Wilt blocking one from the top of the backboard. I'm like, what? Here's Wilt jumping over a guy. Here's Wilt hitting four hook shot corner threes for fun.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Like, oh, I'm ready for the take of, you know who was the best player actually of all time? It was Wilt.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
I saw one position or something.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Okay. So the 71-72 Lakers, we just did a thing about the Thunder. Right.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
The Thunder's winning percentage.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
And it was the Warriors team, obviously. Then it was Jordan Bulls. Two Bulls teams.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Thunder in the middle. Then that Lakers squad, it was like Jerry West was on it. And then I guess Elgin had a cup of coffee. I was looking at the thing.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
He retired. And who else was there? The guy that no one talks about. Gail Goodrich. Gail Goodrich. I'm a blank slate when it comes to Gail Goodrich. But Gail Goodrich averaged like 26 points in the playoffs.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
But got rid of the donuts and he's came to play.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Could you imagine lining up and seeing Wilt Chamberlain come in for the first day? The first day where it's like, you know, there's no social media. You don't even know who's going to show up. And all of a sudden it's like, is that Wilt Chamberlain? That is him, right? That's Wilt Chamberlain, right?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
And I'm like, Oh Jesus. You know what? The, the, the young Shaq moment that gets a lot of play on social media, all-star warmups is Jordan guarding him. I think. It's just they're, like, joking around. And he has, like, some sort of crossover. He looks like Stan Van Gundy. Like a crossover spin layup on Jordan. Like, yep, that will work. Like, yes, young Shaq.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Yeah. Shout out to the algorithm. The algorithm is starting to work.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Well, I'm a little bit obsessed with Will Campbell's arm length, but I'm going to put that aside. That weight probably crested for me.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Yeah, and his wingspan got... The longer his arms got, the shorter his wingspan got.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
It's just absurd. I talked to Jeff Schwartz about it. He's like, it's nothing. He'll just be able to go like that, and he'll be fine. I guess it's... I guess it's not, I want to be positive. I guess the number one story, it's not super out of the box, is can the Luca LeBron experiment, if you want to call it that, gel fast enough to get a championship. I still think that's the number one story.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
And the fact that they were the number one defense for a good stretch, how did that happen? Was that just a string of luck and hustle? And is that going to come down? And then I guess the other thing they were trying to figure out is the thing about the Thunder that I just mentioned is And if they are truly like on paper, a historic team, if they don't win, did they underachieve?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
No one seems to be saying like, yeah, they don't win the finals. They underachieved.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Yeah. But they ran into a, they, they lost because they ran into a legendary performer. So are they going to, that's not what, that's not what they lost.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
No, that's fair.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Did the conspiracy community already move off of They were trying to purposely sour the fan base to move the team to Las Vegas. I thought that was the first conspiracy out of the box.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
That's just no conspiracies, man.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Just bad decision. Here's the thing. I, I was going to do a thing on, it took me a long time because everybody had their, uh, everybody had their own Luca take. Yeah. And, and I didn't, I know what's my angle on this. It's such a bad decision. And I came up with it. It's a little story. Okay. One day, uh, I was working on, we would do like commercial maintenance and like painting and stuff.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
We'd take care of like parking lots and stuff. And my boss got a job power washing. We were power washing, ironically, a car wash, the outside of a car wash. And the first day I went, I had sneakers on and socks. And again, soaked. It's a real, it's not even power wash. We're like stripping the cinder block. with this high-powered pressure washer. And I had socks on and wet shoes.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
And it was the worst. I'm like stomping around. I had like trench foot. Next day, I said, I can't do this again. I'm going to wear sandals because we're going to do a two-day project. Next day, I wear sandals. Pressure washing, pressure washing.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
The only thing worse than having trench foot is having all these little paint chips get in between my toes, and I'm stepping, and they're sharp, and it's bothering me and annoying me so much. I have this pressure washer, and I look down at my foot. I said, ooh, this would feel so good if I take this pressure washer. Oh, no. And I just looked at it, and I just did it.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
And there was no conspiracy to it. There was no like maybe Wilds wanted to get off of work and maybe he was upset with the job and maybe he wanted to go back and work on a different project. No, you know what it was? Just an absolutely horrible decision on my part to blast my own foot in some skin off. Oh, you knocked some skin off? Oh, of course. Of course. It's a blast in my own foot.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
That is the Luca trade. It's just a really bad decision that I think immediately you recognize, whoa, bad call on my part.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Just like, oh, wow, I didn't realize that. I did realize, now that I think about it, if I could go back, I would not do that again. That was really a bad idea.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
No, he's pot committed. He's in. He has to be all in. You can't resign and then all of a sudden you get Cooper flag and someone else is like, man, we did it.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
I think you have to be like, you have to come out with some messaging like, look, Defense wins championships.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
That's right. Tell me I'm wrong. Next time this franchise wins a championship, it will be because of defense. And I hope it's with Anthony Davis.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Like, Oh, a little bit.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
We're just, you know, a little bit unlucky with Kyrie. One draft pick. He can't move. He has to give it a shot.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
That's the other part of it that's bad. It was just also...
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
It's so funny. On its face is bad, but then you still didn't get enough.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
It's just a bookmark. It's just not to book it. Just a bookend conspiracy bill. Didn't hurt the sport.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Yeah. It really helped the sport. It really helped the sport, but did hurt the team. Also, not ruling out Anthony Davis. Pelican's Anthony Davis. Can he come back? Anthony Davis, when we were having real conversations, his PR numbers are Wilt Chamberlain-esque. Remember that? I don't know how long ago that was, but he was having those killer seasons and then kind of flame out in the playoffs, but
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Man, I don't know. I kind of believe in Anthony Davis.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
I saw this tweet. Go ahead.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Was that the beginning of the end or the final straw that broke the camel's back?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Yes.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
You're back?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Okay, welcome back. You got to start following the Woo Sox. That's where I'm getting my... The Roman Anthony takes? Roman Anthony. I was like, oh, another home run. I'm just seeing highlights. I never see the guys strike out or ground out. Everything looks great. Well, welcome back.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
I like it. I like all the stories. It's like, it's one part injury. It's one part, certain amount of that bats. It's one part. He opened up his batting stance. And then I forgot, was it Papelbon said it? Yeah. Now too many carbs. I'm like, oh, too many carbs would actually be the best thing.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
I didn't even know that we didn't, I didn't know that was a thing, considering if you have a kid in Little League and there's new bats coming out every three months, bats are like it's iPhone updates. Like, new bat. This bat's no good anymore. This bat is hotter. Oh, you need this bat. This bat's out of hits. We'd have to get a different bat. There's three different bats.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
The bat technology in youth baseball is out of control. So it was about time it caught up with Major League Baseball. You kind of graduated out of baseball bat parenting.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Baseball. I'm, I'm, I'm a baseball guy. I like being a baseball.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Well, the other thing is I think you're a little spoiled in Southern California, which is right.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
I also just like sitting outside for two hours. I won't do it in my backyard, but I'm happy to just sit outside in the sunshine. Like, oh, this is delightful. Also, nowhere to hide in baseball, which is nice. Play a lot of sports like soccer. Hey, how's the soccer game go? Oh, it's this person did this. And it's like, no, dude, like you're at that. You have to hit the ball.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Confession, although I like all- You're one of those parents? No, I'm a center field parent.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
By myself.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
I like watching the game. I like watching the game. I like watching my kids' games. And if I could have a man cave, it would be... like a isolation chamber. It would be like something that would be against the, you know, Geneva Conventions. It would be just me in a room all by myself with, I would like to have Twitter to follow along, but I don't need anyone.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
I just like to be all by myself consuming the game. I don't like to hear anything else. It's funny you mention this because
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Yeah. I don't know. If you're talking too much about the game, I just want to watch. And if you're not talking about the game, I'm annoyed. So it's a kind of a,
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
I think most people, I mean, that's a really basic.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Watch TV in a surround sound like you're in first base, like you're in a front row seat. Yeah, that happened. That just happened.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Wow, thank you. I have two odor-based ones. Great. First one coming off of what happened to me last night. Supposed to take the dog out for a walk, midnight-ish. Ah, it's kind of cold. I'll just let the dog out. I just let him out. He goes out. I hear a bark that is reserved for cartoon dogs. Like, meowzers! So what's going on here? Come back downstairs, open the door. The dog's making noises.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
He's drooling. As soon as he gets close to me, he has already been sprayed by a skunk. I realize he's sprayed by a skunk. Now he's in the house and he's slobbering.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Oh, my. It's it's now he's moving around and he's bringing this stink everywhere.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
He was making noise. I didn't realize he had gotten sprayed until he was in the house. And now he's like freaking out. And I'm like, I got to take care of you. I'm not just going to, you know, communicate him to the garage. Like, all right, we got to get in the tub. I bring him upstairs. Now you stink of skunk. I stink of skunk. I bring him upstairs. My wife wakes up. What smells?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
He got sprayed by a skunk. Now I've got the ragu in there. I'm pouring it on him, and he kind of likes it.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Yeah, that's a thing. That's what you do when the dog gets skunked? Yeah. It's some sort of something about the Google this. No, I kind of knew that. Oh, I didn't know. I think it's like keying on a jelly, like a jellyfish thing. I think it's just convention, like common knowledge. Okay. I don't think you're supposed to use marinara sauce. I think you're supposed to use like tomato sauce.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
I don't know. In any event, now I'm covering the dog up with tomato with marinara sauce. My wife's like, it smells like skunk and garlic in here. I'm like, I know I'm making pasta in the tub, covering him up. He stinks. The place is a disaster. Moral of the story. I wanted I needed someone to call and I had nobody like the wolf from Pulp Fiction for skunks. Nailed it. Oh. Wolf of skunks.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
That's exactly what I want. Some sort of wolf skunk thing. Call a guy, comes in, because now I'm going home, and everybody else who went to work today is going home and is going to say, oh, I'm so happy I'm home. Home is where the heart is. And my entire house smells like something that God created to get... animals away. And I'm just living in it. Also, I smell a little bit right now.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
And he moved all around and it was on his mouth. So as he was drooling, like the skunk smells in the rugs. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Call... called the wolf.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Oh yeah. He can do all. Yeah.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Yes, that's sure. But I really enjoy, I would just like to call him, take care of the skunk smell. But also if you also, you know, coincidentally got bit by a rattlesnake, that would also work. So then that goes into it. So that's just a kind of, that's a one that happened last night. Here's the real one that I actually thought of.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
He actually started to like it. He liked the attention. Okay. He's going to court skunks now. Okay. This one is called Home Odors Association. This is just a coincidence from the skunk thing. This is gonna upend the real estate market. Real estate is usually based on visuals.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
right, curb appeal of the home, what type of view do you have, do you have a view of the water, a view of the nice forest perhaps? So it's one part, visuals are probably the top dog. Sometimes real estate's based on sounds. Oh, it's a quiet neighborhood. Or if you're too close to the highway, it's loud and that will hurt the value. It's never based on smells.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
So I came home the other day, someone was having, cooking up several cheeseburgers. And I was like, wow. I was just walking home like this. What a great smell. Develop a property and maybe you got to figure out the wind patterns or, you know, you have a little pop-up barbecue places. Yeah. And they don't even have to make money because the money is within the smell.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
A bakery, we have a bakery in Portchester, there's a bakery, it smells wonderful. Ride my bike around like, wow, should I go get some fresh bread? It's great.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
I love it.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Here's another one. This is not artificial. I'm doing the real thing. I'm not a Yankee Candle out here. An old man with a pipe. He comes to your house. Because I don't want the nicotine. I don't want the chance of diseases. And I don't want the secondhand smoke. But while you're at work, an old man with a pipe will come and sit down in a chair. Just for two hours? Yes. And then leaves.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
And then leaves. But you go in there like, wow, it smells like folk music here.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Yeah. It has to be positive odor. So that's what it's called. One part Winston Wolf of skunks, one part Home Odors Association.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
One of the legendary pro days story, Kobe's pro day where Jerry West brings in Michael Cooper.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
And Michael Cooper was 40 years old. Kobe cooked him up. Jerry West realizes that Kobe is a superstar. He knew it, but that was a, that is a legendary pro day story. I'm seeing cam word. Nobody's there. He's just throwing to no one. There's no opposition. Ashton Gentry, we had his pro day. He took a shirt off. Looks great.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
But he's running against literal garbage cans and jumping over little cones. So here's the idea. Remember Iron Mike Sharp? Yeah. That he would just come in and get beaten up and you're like, ah, it's entertaining. Iron Mike Sharp-esque former players. You're talking about wrestling jobbers. Yes. For your pro day. So football jobbers. Yes, but stars. Like Michael Cooper-esque.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Like Aaron Donald, look.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Any interest in suiting up? And trying to get past Will Campbell? Like worst case scenario for Will Campbell, you hold your own against Aaron Donald. And I know you're thinking the pushback is going to be, pushback's going to be like, ah, Aaron Donald's been out of the league. Like, oh, so what? You tackled Barry Sanders. He's 45. I get it. But the, I forget which, Jake Paul, Jake Paul Tyson.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
There is a glitch, right? in sports fans' minds, and it's happening right now with Aaron Rodgers, that sports fans, and maybe this is because of Tom Brady's longevity and LeBron's longevity, that the glitch is we cannot process aging of our heroes, aging of superstars. We just can't quite get it.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Of course he's going to be good. Because Tom Brady was good. We're not like, no, he was one of one.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
But if you are, you know, if you are a little bit younger than me, that was, they were the main figures of your entire sports universe. So of course the great players can go. Same with Mike Tyson. When I saw Mike, I'm like, Ooh, I don't know. Mike Tyson's got a chance. Even now it's like, no, Mike Tyson was pulling punches. Mike Tyson is Yeah, it's older than I am. Yeah.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Of course you can't absorb a punch. So that's why. Wow. Look at Travis Hunter tracking down. Look at him lighting up Darrell Rivas. Be great. Wow. Tackling Barry Sanders. Get Calvin Johnson out there. Can you lock up Calvin Johnson? Yeah. I think it would be great.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Make some money, and next thing you know, maybe you guys get another shot at it.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Yes, that would be tremendous. Shut down T.O.? That would work.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
I like the one that you're afraid to give out. Your worst ones are usually pretty bad.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
I mean, this sounds so lame, but like, what is our, what is our schedule this week?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Thank you. Thank you.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Thank you.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Thank you. Thank you.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Thank you.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Oh, that's the only, that's the only sports, a sports specific name. Because I think, I don't know if the baby consultants are huge sports fans. So you could be like, Hey, what about Gail? Gail Goodrich? Gail for a Gail Sayers? No one's got Gail.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Like you could be like, Like that, I think works. It's like how Jalen Rose, Jalen's name took off.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
But Jalen is one of the founders of the new business. It's like Jalen Rose, like, trust me, like I'm the godfather of all of this.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
everyone's doing the opposite.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
That sounds like severance.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
This is a quick one. I just want to give you a quick take on it. We went to Duke, Alabama. We sat on the baseline. It was in New Jersey, Prudential Center, I think. And I hadn't been to a, I don't know, the last time I went to a, I went to the UConn game at the Garden, but this was the first time I sat baseline. And we were sitting near the Alabama band, trombones, the whole nine.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
And it made me realize, and I think I'm right, but I hold out a chance that I'm just not, I'm misremembering it, because the band was so, we were next to the band. That there was no music playing during the game. Like there isn't an NBA game. There was no like... Oh, yeah, yeah. It was just in timeouts, the band going crazy. So I'm just putting it out there. bands at NBA games.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
It's just livelier. Like college games are like bands are underrated at this point. I think bands are underrated at weddings. I think they're underrated at sporting events. You're like, no, no, it's the DJ. They can do like I know the DJ should be better, but just do the Pepsi challenge. Have, you know, a DJ on a street corner playing a popular song and have a full on band. The band is tremendous.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Yeah. Yeah. Full on. kick-ass, brass band, playing in timeouts, getting you fired up, cymbals. It's just great. It feels like there's something to it where Yeah, they're not hit songs, perhaps. Perhaps they're just big cymbal crashes. But there's something about the liveness of it that like they're performing, the game is happening.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
There's something special that college sports captures with a band that gets lost in the NBA with a reliance on DJs and playing sound during the games, which I am not a fan of.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
That does make sense. There's a lot of seats.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
It's a great idea. 100% he should do that. I think it's good for everybody. Everyone loves a band. No one dislikes a band.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
What's your next one? This one's too stupid. I'm reluctant. Oh, this is another quick one. Then I have an insane one. What do you think about the jumping three-pointer? This is a little bit of like the torpedo bat. The one-legged three-pointer like what Tatum does? Jumping from the three-point line to the foul line.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Like when this happens, there's a few things happening in sports that are so obvious.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
So I'll give you just the background. The tush push. Hey, I'm a quarterback sneak. No, how about we get everybody and just push the guy forward? Obvious, unstoppable. Seems like a flaw. I don't know why it didn't work before. Number two. Hey, torpedo bats. Hey, how about with a barrel, the sweet spot? We make that a little bit bigger and make a smaller part where no one ever hits the ball.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Wow, that works. No brainer. Old school. Hey, how about we shoot more threes? Yeah, that sounds good. They're better than twos. Yep, great. The running three-pointer is such an obvious idea. I don't know why it's not happening.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Every situation, every fast break, Giannis comes down and there's no standing. You take off at the three-point line. Bare minimum, you're getting to the free throw line for a little mid-range jumper.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
It's so obvious and it's popped up on Instagram and Reddit and people have put like Dwayne Wade did it to win a game and he landed near the free throw line. There's no, it's, it's something.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Some team is going to do it. Everyone's going to be like, is this allowed? Are you sure? It's like, yeah, it's where you take off. It's always been that way, but no one's doing it for God knows why. I like it. There's no reason not... Is there any reason not... There's videos on the internet. It's a college three. Guys doing basically long-range finger rolls for three points.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
The Wendy thing? It's like a... Yeah.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
This is my buddies. I told them I would do it. I think it's insane, but...
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Well, you know, sometimes I don't really take requests. I'm not a DJ, but this one is perfectly half-baked and I thought you would like it. I will read you the text that he wrote me. I have a joke premise that's looking for an audience and I'm not sure my friends who like sports nor my friends who like comedy will get it. Good start. That's what I said.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
This is what he writes.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Transfer portal for families. So, I mean, it's a lot of, it can go a lot of ways. I'm going to try to keep it above board. But this is just like if my son has been doing well in sports, handsome kids, you know, he comes up to me one night, he's like, dad, can I talk to you for a minute? I'm like, yeah, what's up? I'm going to hop in the portal. I'm like, wow, really?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Like I spent, I've invested so much in you, like my time. And I thought we had something. He's like, no, no, you've been great. You've been great. But I'm just, you know, I think I can, I'm going to move up to kind of a better dad. Want to get to the West Coast? You know, just a nicer dad. You know, I got more opportunities out there.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Yeah, just like transfer portal for people having marital problems.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
No, no, I'm not getting divorced. My wife just hopped into the world.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
The portal is just like a nebulous concept. The portal. Yeah. Everything's in the portal.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
I played and I was like, this is the worst.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Yeah, but fake injuries. They're not real injuries.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
I saw that.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
I didn't know it was nonchondriosis.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Yeah, nonchondriosis.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Pretend ones.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
Your half-baked ideas in this round have been all over the map. I think you evened out from two 100% ideas and one 10% idea.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
But you evened out to a half-baked idea, so you got it. Thank you. I nailed it. What's your closer? Do you have a closer? No, I think that was it. Family portal, offensive lineman Santa. No one cares about that. Great. Selling phone numbers, that's boring. That's a real idea.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes
No. Oh, maybe Indy 500. We got Indy 500 on Fox. So we can go out to Indianapolis. I'm excited about that. I don't know if that's happening, but I'm into the Indianapolis 500 all of a sudden. All right.