Kevin Nealon
Appearances
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Do you have other projects going besides this podcast? yes, I'm hosting the Oscars. Oh, by the way, congratulations. I think I already texted you about that.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
And true. Yeah. And true. It was very true. Because I know how you think it's going to go because I know you so well. Oh, yeah? And how's that? You tell me.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
It's going to go. You think it's going to go horrible. No, I don't think it's going to go.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
So, yeah, thanks for asking me. The movie I'm executive producing at Sundance.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
It's called Come See Me in the Good Light. It's a story, Conan, about these two lovers. It's poets. Oh, and you're executive producer?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
If I had legs, I'd kick you. Oh, yeah, that's right up your alley. That is so you right there. Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Okay. I'm going to tell it to you again. Try to listen this time. Pay attention. Okay. What is the name of your movie? It's called Come See Me in the Good Light. Come See Me in the Good Light. Beautiful. Are you writing this down? Yep. Come See Me in the Good Light. It's a love story about these two poets, and one of them is diagnosed with an incurable illness. Okay.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
And it's pretty much the exploration of their life, their love, their mortality, and life's moments. And once you see it, it'll kind of change your life.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Maybe not your life because you don't have one bone of love or mortality. That's not true.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
It's about Andrea Gibson, the poet. I figured. And her lover, Megan Fowley. Yeah, of course. And it's directed by Ryan White. Okay, my question. Produced by Jessica Hargrave. And Teg Notaro. Oh, I love Teg Notaro.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
No, no, no notes. No notes. I'm the one giving out the notes.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Well, I invest in it. I support it. I come on podcasts. This is your money.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
And I hope that I have an interviewer that is open-minded and listens. Yeah, I did put my money into it, along with my wife, Susan Yeagley. Susan's great. You know what I'm saying?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
B. It's B. I have nothing to do with it. I know, I don't.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I needed something to talk about when I came here, so I saw some of the films that were playing at Sundance. No, I'm all over that thing. I invested in it. Okay. And without that, it wouldn't have gotten made, unless you invested in it. But no, you went with the kicking with the legs thing. If I had legs, I'd kick you. I didn't put a dime into it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
What is the name of your character in this so-called movie? Chip Chutley.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
By the way, I want to thank you for doing my hiking show, what, two or three times? Yeah. Hiking with Kevin. Now streaming on Fox Nation. Yeah. It's another thing that's not mentioned in the research. I don't know what's going on.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
You know what? I'm not all about boasting what I do. You like to have everything in print. You like to direct everybody to what you're doing. Yeah, you do a podcast.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
What is that? I think you're burying the lead. You've got a dirty mind.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
You gotta go somewhere. So, um, what were you going to say? No, seriously. Don't you love comedy? Isn't it great? There's so many different facets to it and styles. Yes. And somebody will ask me once, they'll say, or a lot of times they'll say, do you think so-and-so is funny? You know who I'm talking about? And I'll say, well, it's subjective.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
You know, you can't say somebody is not funny if they're bringing in people and people are laughing. I disagree. I think you can say someone's not funny. To you, they're not funny.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
So it wouldn't be nice if you would stand out in front of like a venue and people are coming in to see that person you don't think is funny and just warn them and say, you don't need to see this person.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
But don't you say it's like objective. Don't you think that because what Sona thinks is funny. which is apparently everything you say. She's given you a lot of good chuckles too. No, she makes me laugh a lot.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Sona, do you disagree with Conan about that statement?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
There are some people that just aren't funny.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Oh, okay. It's subjective. Okay. It is subjective. Because I'll say something, you know, if you're going by this guideline, like, no, this is not funny because, you know, this and that, but someone's laughing, you're pretty much telling them that they're idiots for laughing at that.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I would say that to people if they were laughing at the wrong thing. I'd say you're a bunch of fools. What about drama? Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Do you know how... No, I know. A lot of people would die to be on this show.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
First of all, diddling is not a bad thing. Diddling is like meditating. Yeah, that's true. Have you ever meditated? I'm not good at it. I've tried, but I'm... How can you not be bad at it? You fall out of the chair? What happens?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Because you seem... No, I diddle. I'm a diddler. Okay. Well, that's... Which also requires a chair. When you diddle. Okay. Can we please just talk about something that has some meaning? I'm doing the best I can. I'm sitting here.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I came all the way down here because apparently you couldn't get a guest.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I'd love to see it. Hey, you ever think that, hey, I'm at the top of my game right now?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Never. Rule number one. I say I'm at the top of my game. You guys are really lucky tonight. What an asshole.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Of course I do. Because people don't know what's funny, apparently, according to you. No, no, no.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Yeah. Do you ever think this is, if I died now, I'd have some great people coming to my funeral and making some great eulogies?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Because if you live too long, there'll be less people.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
No one's coming. No one's coming. Even if they're not dead, they're not coming.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Sona will probably be the director of your funeral, I would say.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
So I would want to, would you wear a V-neck sweater?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Why do people even wear clothes in a casket?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Do you know what I mean? Once that lid is closed, strip them down.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Do you watch, do you go on Instagram? Is this vodka or is it water?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I do actually have a sebaceous. No, it's not a sebaceous cyst. It's a, oh, what's it called? It's called a, can I come back tomorrow? It's called a, anyway, it's kind of a tumor.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Yeah. It's, for some reason, I can't think of the name of it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
It's either that flower with the thorns on it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Oh, the name was right on the tip of my tongue. Now it's up on the roof of my mouth.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Have you ever been scrolling on Instagram and you come across these posts that are people dying? No, I haven't seen those at all. What are you talking about?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
What are you talking about? Oh, is that why I keep getting this?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Oh my God, that's embarrassing. I am not on Instagram.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
It's some sick, like, you know, person who happens to have those cameras on the freeway or whatever and a guy hitting a truck and crying out loud.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Or they're pushed, you know. And then there was this one I just saw yesterday. I watched it like 10 times. It is a guy with one of those suits that jumps off the cliff. A squirrel suit? A squirrel suit. And he's going far. He's going far. Yeah. And he's fast. And he goes right by the camera and then down in the canyon and smack, right into a wall.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Yeah. And you know what? I got rid of my squirrel suit right after seeing it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I seriously, man. And I wasn't going off high cliffs. I was like going off the couch and stuff. All right. Well, this is that guy, you know, take a break. We'll be right back.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I don't know how many times it was. Cause I couldn't believe it. Another one was, um, these people up on, I hate the cliffs, anything high up on a cliff. Yeah. Somehow it lands in front of me at this guy and this woman, the woman jumps off like she's free falling and she's going to pull her shoot, but she kept falling and falling.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
And then the two guys look at each other on top, shake their head and they look over the cliff and she's gone. No squirrel suit, nothing.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I don't know. It was like, you know, maybe she thought there was a bungee cord or something attached to her. Some of these might be fake, too. Oh, really?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Zim, zam, zoom. Let's back up. Let's back up to something. When you're finished with your silly, childish, look at me, bits you're doing. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I guess I'm the only guy that says look at me. I know your style. What's that? I know exactly what you do. Let's hear a little bit about my style. I've been listening to you lately.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
We've been friends since 1988. No, but I think there's something to you now. I know how you work. I know you're just waiting for somebody to say something so you could just run with some like venting bit and just go. And Sona is just encouraging you to keep going. And then it dies down. And then there's a last minute thought. You go back into it again. Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
And the guest is just sitting there and the whole whack pack is laughing at you and you believe it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Can I go back to something? You can't reduce it. Can I go back to something that really struck me for a second, that really surprised me? Almond butter.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Do you use almond butter? I do use almond butter, yeah. Instead of peanut butter. I know it's healthier. I like it better. I like the taste better. Peanut butter with jam? Yeah. Strawberry? Yeah. My wife always complains that I leave jam everywhere. It's on the handle to the refrigerator. It's on the steering wheel of the car. Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Are you done with the third bit you did in the last two minutes? I expected you to jump on that and help me with it and make it a little more dynamic and funny. No, no. But you just cut me apart. No, no, no. Have a little slice of fuck you pie is what I say. You're not getting anything from me. So would we be good on a road trip?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I don't trust you. Sometimes I leave the blinking on. Nice.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I like to go little bits, you know. You try to get to wherever you're going in one day, even if it's cross country. I wouldn't do that. You wouldn't. Would you stay in an expensive hotel or would you stay like in a Motel 6 hotel? Well, I think I'd split the difference there. Let's say you only had $500 to get where you're going. Then I think I wouldn't be staying in a very expensive hotel.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
See, you're not helping me. I'm giving you an opening.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Oh, these are the gems? Well, everybody would say they're the gems, but you apparently are thinking about your last bit that you did.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Can we, what music will we listen to in the car or your truck, whatever we're taking?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
She's also in an EP on this movie I just did called Cuts to Me in the Good Light. Mm-hmm. Will be out soon.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I don't. I'm honest with you now. I'm being honest. All right. My brother listens to 60s, and I'm thinking, I'm not going to listen to that, man. That's just too, that's giving up, you know? And then I start listening to it, and I go, yeah, I like this. I like this. Sweet Cherry Wine by Tommy James and the Shondells. Yeah. You know, maybe that's 70s. But, yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
But just let's, can you just ask me something serious? Like, you know, that's, you really want to know about me. And I swear to God, I will tell you exactly. And let's see if you can handle it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
That you don't even know his name. Gable. Okay. You don't need to like spread it around. Jeez, why don't you just give him my PIN number?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I don't really hear a question, though. Yeah. Why is it so difficult to break through to you where you don't even want to, because you don't want to know. I don't want to know. I don't want to know. It's too difficult for you to. You do. You'd be the worst interrogator. You won't even ask the question to the suspect.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
All right, let's say I'm a suspect. Okay. I'm in the interrogation room. Okay. Somebody just robbed a Brinks truck. It wasn't me. Well. What do you say to that? Okay.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
You think a suspect ever says that to each other? That's a good question. All right, let me go back to that statement that you mentioned about my family. Yeah. Very lucky. I do love them, and I'm so fortunate to have them. And I think you feel the same way about your family. I think you do.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I think we're both hiding our true feelings, not just from each other, but from a lot of people. I think we want to be liked.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Yeah. Because I don't cry. I cried at this movie. Come see me in the good light. Okay, stop doing that.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
And you know what's great about it? It's laughter and crying. Yeah. It's like unexpected humor. Okay. It's just humor.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Yeah. Yeah. When you heard the news about the Oscars, did you cry? I did. I'm still crying. You know what's interesting? When Eric Idle, our friend Eric Idle. The brilliant Eric Idle. Yeah. Can we talk about this? He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Yes, he was. And he said he couldn't even think about it or had no reaction emotionally.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
But then when he heard that it wasn't pancreatic and he was fine, he cried.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Yeah. The relief. Yeah, you're holding it in and you have all that stuff.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
And did he tell you about his father? What happened to his dad? No. He came back from the war. He'd been gone from the war. Got into their neighborhood, crossed the street, got hit by a truck. Mm-hmm. Oh my God. Yeah. A lorry as they call them.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
You know, I went to school for marketing. I have a BS degree in marketing. And, of course, you know, honorary doctorate. Humane letters. But what was I going to say?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I'm just amazed. Yeah, we've talked about this.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Will you listen to me? I'm not even going in that direction.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
No, I'm just amazed at how happy you are. And now you're telling me that you don't cry. And so maybe inside you're not. But, you know, it's such a relief. I think all of us will agree that it's a reason.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Maybe inside you're not. Isn't it great to cry? And it's such a release and it makes you less stressed and opens you up to, I think, to a happier life. And it shows that you're human and you have emotions. It's just human with an H. It's not human with a Y. Do you know what Tig told me once, Tig Notaro? Yeah. She said, you don't pronounce your H's when you say words. It's like, you know, humor.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
It's humor. Yeah. And then I thought, that's pretty right because when I laugh, I don't pronounce my H's either. It's just ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. It is. It is. No. It is. Yeah. But you're right, I don't. But how would you say herb? I'd say it's an herb. No H. I wouldn't pronounce the H. I wouldn't say herb.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
So stop pointing a finger. Herb is a guy, so. Herb is a guy. Do you think there's any herbs that grow herbs?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Have you, sir, at long last, no shame. Are there any herbs that are eaten by a guy named Herb? Well, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. And I think, you know, I was going to come in here today thinking maybe now we could have a sensible discussion.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I like the dibble and I like the Bibble Babble. I do both of those. What? You know me so well.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Hi, my name is Kevin Nealon. And I feel absolutely duped about being Conan O'Brien's friend. Terrible thing to say.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Why am I so confused that you can't carry out a conversation without going into a bit about hibble bibble or whatever it is?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Who would you believe? A guy who cries and feels his emotions or a guy that keeps it in and just gets angry at everybody? The guy that's consistent. Yeah, there you go.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Why does there have to be an analogy about everything? Why can't you say what it is? I think Eduardo just said. I don't need an analogy.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
First of all, congratulations on the Mark Twain Prize. Oh, thank you very much. But it is a prize. It's not an award. Seriously. A prize is like a Cracker Jacks toy. Am I right? It's a prize. Don't get all excited.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I appreciate that. At first you think it's a Mark Twain award. You go, you're going to receive a Mark Twain prize. Oh. Just dig through this. Dig through this Cracker Jack box. I was the honorary mayor. Where? Pacific Palisades. Oh, God. Okay. Way to bring it down, man.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Why would you even want to follow that up with anything? Look at me. Look at me. I'm looking at you. You're the worst. Why would you? Why would you open that can of worms?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Well, yeah. Do you think when you asked me that, you knew where I used to live? You know where I lived?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Well, another opportunity for you to expose my life and my personal life and where I lived.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
okay well uh but seriously are you okay is everyone all right did your place uh did you i was okay until i got here today okay all right but uh but you know you just undermine me so much i don't think i do let's not let's just let's say let's say this was our last life our last um i think this might be yeah we had a good run man well i worked hard you got lucky and uh
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I think you opened yourself up to luck. And boy, did you get it. No, don't you think that's right, though? I think we both are unseemingly people that would be... This is proof.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Give me something I can work with. Do you call people pal more or bud? Buddy. I'm more of a pal guy. Hey, pal.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Hey, pal. It's an East Coast thing. Yeah. Just keep... I'm just trying to remember the name of that tumor that I had.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I said I fell off the shoulder of the road. That's not true.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Okay, I'm... No, let's go back to the question. This was our last day on the planet. We would open up to each other, right? I doubt it. Would you cry then?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Me staying here another minute? I think 30 seconds would do it. You've never seen a movie that made you cry?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Finish it up. I'm going to go get a glass of water.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Well, you said Mrs. Driscoll, the nurse. I thought, this is going nowhere. Yeah, and then my nurse comes in, and she says, oh, it looks like you bent it backwards. See, that's what you do.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
You know what I'm saying? Are you okay with me telling that story to other people? It's such a good story. Can I share that?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Remember when we had lunch and we were just both being serious with each other? No, I don't. I don't think I've ever had lunch with you.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I've never had a moment with you. Do you ever worry about your weight?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I don't worry about my weight. I worry about my height. Okay. Do you know what I mean? Do you think, um, I don't, Barron is tall, isn't he? Barron Trump.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
What's on your mind right now? What's your biggest worry right now, besides hosting the Oscars?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Yeah, I could do a somersault. I see people backflipping off of a dock. I think I could try that because what's the worst that can happen? Oh, well. Land on the dock. No, you would just, you land on the water somehow. You ever think about that? Nope, never. Maybe I'll leave something to think about in the future.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Uh, God, I'm going to, I'm going to be driving home and I'm going to think of a name that it's a benign on, you know, it's not threatening at all. It's a cyst. No, I said it's a tumor. A cyst is, um, like a hard nodule. Okay.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
No, it's a, um, God, you know what? If you had a good crew, they would have looked it up already. You know, they're just sitting there with their mouth, a gap, a gap, a gap, a gap. It's a gape. What's the last new word that you learned? Um, Seriously. Sona, do something.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Koda, did you ever wake up and say, here's the word I'm going to use today? I'm going to try and use it like five times. Okay. I do something. Meningioma? Meningioma. What? Meningioma. Okay. They call it a tumor, but it's really just a, it's about the size of.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I feel like I've lost you. You lost me a while ago. I feel like you just depleted. You're not at the top of your game anymore. No, no, no. Who's the guest here? Is it you or me?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Kevin, you know I love you. So this could be our last thing on the planet.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Let's wrap it up with something that really is, you know, thoughtful. Okay. And meaningful. Okay. I'm excited for you. I really am excited for you. Okay. And there's nothing, there's no underlining, you know, thought here. No, I can assure you.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I can assure you through hard experience, there is nothing. You've lost trust in me. As a person that can connect.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
And that's the problem. There's no problem. I need to change guns. No, no, no, there's no problem. But let me, I was talking about you for a minute. I think that you are- I tried to end it right there. You saw. You want to go out on a laugh first of all.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
You know, I really do appreciate you. That's funny that you backed away from the mic when you started to say something nice. So far, our mics can't even. You are so talented. is that you always, people love you. Do you know the most watched hike I do, hiking with Kevin on YouTube, is Conan O'Brien. Oh. My son told me that. That's cool. That's good to know.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Tom Hanks, Jack Black, Paul Rudd, you. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Molly Shannon. Yeah. Yeah. But you, you have like, you are so famous. And I think about this a lot. When I go places, I don't get recognized. I think Conan would get recognized here, but you can go to Finland. You can go to China probably. And they know who you are. Yeah. Maybe. Is that hard to, to be that popular for no reason? Yeah.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
What is it? I want to know. You can't let it be. I say something and then you immediately. But neither can you. No. Neither of you can. Because he gets it wrong. I get it wrong and I have to correct him.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Why do you feel like you have to win every time?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
You want me to leave and you'll say, got him, got him this time.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
That's the problem. It's like you're trading straight men just instantaneously. Did you see, he listened to you for like three seconds and that's a record I've ever seen him listen to somebody.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
No, that's talent to be able to do that and get away with it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
First of all, do you like to be referred to as Conan or Team Coco or Coco? I mean, how many names? Do you have licenses for all those?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
You are looking at me because I see for once your eyes are blue, and I've never known that before because you never looked at me.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Really, you're very blinky today. I don't know what's going on. I do tend to blink a lot.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
And I find myself blinking a lot. So you watch your appearances on TV shows a lot. I can't help it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I can't help it. They're that good. I am good, actually, except for the blinking. So listen to me. Yeah. Let's get down to it.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Let me just tell you something about how you've kind of come into my life a lot unexpectedly and not... So whenever I'm about to see you, I always second guess what I'm wearing because you commented once when I wore, do you know what I'm talking about? No. I was at your house or I met you for lunch or something and I had a sweater on, a V-neck sweater with no t-shirt.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Here's what I don't like about the way you dress. May I? Oh, yeah. You wear those thin T-shirts. So your nipples are popping out. And nobody wants to see Team Coco nipples.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Let me ask you this. Do you have a favorite when it comes to your nipples?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Because you interrupt me every time I try to talk.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Go ahead. When you're finished, I'll continue what I was saying. I'm done. Okay. Let's go back to the V-neck. Someone has a V-neck on, and I don't even have any cleavage, and I'm not hiding anything. I mean, if you take care of your body, maybe you know this. If you take care of your body, you're not afraid to show some masculinity. What if I wore a V-neck T-shirt under the V-neck sweater?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Do you require a chicken to wear a V-neck sweater? All right.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I thought there were more, but okay. Okay. Yeah, we do. I agree with you. We have a close bond and we tease each other a lot, but I think we have a really close friendship. Why'd you cover your mouth when you said that? I scratched my upper lip.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
You're so defensive and so insecure about everything. And I don't think anybody will argue that point with me. I am now about the nipple thing.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Did you ever know anybody had a third nipple?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
I worked with someone once who had a tail, believe it or not. What? I'm not kidding around, a tail. That's not true. I swear to you.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
It was like a Doberman Pinscher tail. What? What are you talking about?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Oh, great. Well, that'll help on a podcast. Wait.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
And this is, so you don't get it wrong, that's the butt. It's more like that.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
My book is out now called I Exaggerate My Brushes with Fame. Yes. A lot of caricature paintings that I do. None of you in there.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
No, come on. Let's just talk. Can we talk as two adults for a change?
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
Sona, you stay out of this. I don't even know why she's in here. I don't know why you need a backup like Sona. I come in here with nobody, and you've got all these people like your posse. This is my whack pack right here.
Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Kevin Nealon Returns Again
So I almost saw you at Sundance the other day.