Kendrick

Danielle, I'm sorry. I got the extroversary day mixed up. I forgot it was later that night, and I hadn't gotten her anything, so... I didn't want to violate you. I didn't want... What's a little too late for that?

Danielle, I'm sorry. I got the extroversary day mixed up. I forgot it was later that night, and I hadn't gotten her anything, so... I didn't want to violate you. I didn't want... What's a little too late for that?

She likes Jamba Juice, so that part worked out.

She likes Jamba Juice, so that part worked out.

Good work, Kendrick.

Good work, Kendrick.

She had all the right lighting, the right pictures, all of it.

She had all the right lighting, the right pictures, all of it.

No way she's going to look like this in real life, right?

No way she's going to look like this in real life, right?

So we chose the meetup and we went to one of those big malls that, you know, has restaurants, shopping malls.

So we chose the meetup and we went to one of those big malls that, you know, has restaurants, shopping malls.

Right. So we were going to walk around and then eventually grab a bite.

Right. So we were going to walk around and then eventually grab a bite.

Yeah, run us through that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got there first. So she walked in five minutes later, like right after me, right? Mm-hmm. And, oh, my God, I was like, bam, she looked like she just stepped out of a TV commercial. Wow. A TV commercial.

Yeah, run us through that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got there first. So she walked in five minutes later, like right after me, right? Mm-hmm. And, oh, my God, I was like, bam, she looked like she just stepped out of a TV commercial. Wow. A TV commercial.

What do you mean, like, a TV commercial? Well, she's not, like, a model, but I mean, like, she looks like somebody who could be, like, running on a beach, you know, in slow motion, promoting yogurt.

What do you mean, like, a TV commercial? Well, she's not, like, a model, but I mean, like, she looks like somebody who could be, like, running on a beach, you know, in slow motion, promoting yogurt.

She just had a TV commercial glow.

She just had a TV commercial glow.

So we're walking around the mall. I had a big smile on my face because I knew people were looking at us thinking, how did that guy get hurt?

So we're walking around the mall. I had a big smile on my face because I knew people were looking at us thinking, how did that guy get hurt?

Oh, love it.

Oh, love it.

Yes, like we went to one of those places that sells hats. Uh-huh. And I said to her, you know, like 90% of these hats have headlights in them.

Yes, like we went to one of those places that sells hats. Uh-huh. And I said to her, you know, like 90% of these hats have headlights in them.

What is the joke? Well, I don't really think it's 90%. I just made that up because it sounds funny.

What is the joke? Well, I don't really think it's 90%. I just made that up because it sounds funny.

She laughed. It was more of an uncomfortable laugh, but she laughed a little bit.

She laughed. It was more of an uncomfortable laugh, but she laughed a little bit.

Well, we finally showed up at the seafood buffet, but we had to put our names in because there was a lot of people there, so there's a little bit of a wait. Okay. Got to wait for it. I was a gentleman. I pulled her chair out. I gave her compliments. Good.

Well, we finally showed up at the seafood buffet, but we had to put our names in because there was a lot of people there, so there's a little bit of a wait. Okay. Got to wait for it. I was a gentleman. I pulled her chair out. I gave her compliments. Good.

I walked her to her car afterwards, gave her a kiss. Oh, you got a kiss? Got a kiss, you know. Nothing major, just a small little kiss. Okay. But the next day, I get a weird text that says, I can't freaking believe you. I don't date low lives. See ya.

I walked her to her car afterwards, gave her a kiss. Oh, you got a kiss? Got a kiss, you know. Nothing major, just a small little kiss. Okay. But the next day, I get a weird text that says, I can't freaking believe you. I don't date low lives. See ya.

She said, see ya. See ya. Like, bye. Oh, God. So I don't know what she's talking about. I tried to call her, but she sends me straight to voicemail every time. So I'm turning to you guys to try to figure out where I went wrong.

She said, see ya. See ya. Like, bye. Oh, God. So I don't know what she's talking about. I tried to call her, but she sends me straight to voicemail every time. So I'm turning to you guys to try to figure out where I went wrong.

Oh, my God. I didn't see any headlights when I got the kiss.

Oh, my God. I didn't see any headlights when I got the kiss.

That's an insult. Oh, my God. Yeah. That's why I need to know what it is. I'm like, what made me a low life? No. All right.

That's an insult. Oh, my God. Yeah. That's why I need to know what it is. I'm like, what made me a low life? No. All right.

No, I just tried to call her, but she just sent me the voicemail immediately.

No, I just tried to call her, but she just sent me the voicemail immediately.

Hey, why are you saying all this stuff about me? I can't even defend myself.

Hey, why are you saying all this stuff about me? I can't even defend myself.

I don't like having my name dragged through the mud like this without me being able to defend myself or say something.

I don't like having my name dragged through the mud like this without me being able to defend myself or say something.

Well, no, I mean, I did. I took it.

Well, no, I mean, I did. I took it.

You don't understand, guys.

You don't understand, guys.

I needed it for my ex.

I needed it for my ex.

I was going to give it back or reimburse her on the next day, but she wouldn't answer my calls.

I was going to give it back or reimburse her on the next day, but she wouldn't answer my calls.

Well, me and my ex, we aren't together, but we still celebrate our anniversary. We call it an ex-iversary. Excuse me?

Well, me and my ex, we aren't together, but we still celebrate our anniversary. We call it an ex-iversary. Excuse me?

I borrowed it. So here's how extroversion works. So we give each other a gift card. or a card, and it's like, no hard feelings.

I borrowed it. So here's how extroversion works. So we give each other a gift card. or a card, and it's like, no hard feelings.

I was like,

I was like,

Well, our extroversary was later that night, so she was taking forever in the bathroom, right? I was bored.

Well, our extroversary was later that night, so she was taking forever in the bathroom, right? I was bored.

I just wanted to see what I was working with.

I just wanted to see what I was working with.

How does this get worse the more you talk?

How does this get worse the more you talk?

By the way, I think you're lying because your height on your license says that you're 5'6". There's no way that you're 5'6".

By the way, I think you're lying because your height on your license says that you're 5'6". There's no way that you're 5'6".

Danielle, I'm sorry. I got the extroversary day mixed up. I forgot it was later that night, and I hadn't gotten her anything, so... I didn't want to violate you. I didn't want... What's a little too late for that?

She likes Jamba Juice, so that part worked out.

Good work, Kendrick.

She had all the right lighting, the right pictures, all of it.

No way she's going to look like this in real life, right?

So we chose the meetup and we went to one of those big malls that, you know, has restaurants, shopping malls.

Right. So we were going to walk around and then eventually grab a bite.

Yeah, run us through that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got there first. So she walked in five minutes later, like right after me, right? Mm-hmm. And, oh, my God, I was like, bam, she looked like she just stepped out of a TV commercial. Wow. A TV commercial.

What do you mean, like, a TV commercial? Well, she's not, like, a model, but I mean, like, she looks like somebody who could be, like, running on a beach, you know, in slow motion, promoting yogurt.

She just had a TV commercial glow.

So we're walking around the mall. I had a big smile on my face because I knew people were looking at us thinking, how did that guy get hurt?

Oh, love it.

Yes, like we went to one of those places that sells hats. Uh-huh. And I said to her, you know, like 90% of these hats have headlights in them.

What is the joke? Well, I don't really think it's 90%. I just made that up because it sounds funny.

She laughed. It was more of an uncomfortable laugh, but she laughed a little bit.

Well, we finally showed up at the seafood buffet, but we had to put our names in because there was a lot of people there, so there's a little bit of a wait. Okay. Got to wait for it. I was a gentleman. I pulled her chair out. I gave her compliments. Good.

I walked her to her car afterwards, gave her a kiss. Oh, you got a kiss? Got a kiss, you know. Nothing major, just a small little kiss. Okay. But the next day, I get a weird text that says, I can't freaking believe you. I don't date low lives. See ya.

She said, see ya. See ya. Like, bye. Oh, God. So I don't know what she's talking about. I tried to call her, but she sends me straight to voicemail every time. So I'm turning to you guys to try to figure out where I went wrong.

Oh, my God. I didn't see any headlights when I got the kiss.

That's an insult. Oh, my God. Yeah. That's why I need to know what it is. I'm like, what made me a low life? No. All right.

No, I just tried to call her, but she just sent me the voicemail immediately.

Hey, why are you saying all this stuff about me? I can't even defend myself.

I don't like having my name dragged through the mud like this without me being able to defend myself or say something.

Well, no, I mean, I did. I took it.

You don't understand, guys.

I needed it for my ex.

I was going to give it back or reimburse her on the next day, but she wouldn't answer my calls.

Well, me and my ex, we aren't together, but we still celebrate our anniversary. We call it an ex-iversary. Excuse me?

I borrowed it. So here's how extroversion works. So we give each other a gift card. or a card, and it's like, no hard feelings.

I was like,

Well, our extroversary was later that night, so she was taking forever in the bathroom, right? I was bored.

I just wanted to see what I was working with.

How does this get worse the more you talk?

By the way, I think you're lying because your height on your license says that you're 5'6". There's no way that you're 5'6".