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Kathy Griffin

Appearances

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1035.373

Und sie verletzten es. Sie sagten, oh, oh, oh, Herr Chabar, es ist eine Ehre, Sie zu treffen. Und Sie wissen, er ist kalt. Er schreibt keine Autos, er macht keine Bilder.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1066.51

Is that a pickle? Yeah, I'm making our relish. Oh, the tartar sauce? Yeah, the tartar sauce.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1080.26

Ich bin so glücklich, dass ich nie eine schwarze Frau getroffen habe, nur um sie zu kritisieren, wie ich koche. Und dann wartet ihr, dass ihr mit mir sechst.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1164.984

It always sucks when you see someone who loved drinking have to quit.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1175.691

Nein, ich habe noch nie etwas getrunken. Ich weiß nicht, wie es riecht. Als ich zehn war, war ich auf dem Hamburger Helfer. Und mein Vater hatte einen Stein Bier. Und er sagte zu einem zehnjährigen mir, hier, oh mein Gott, trink das nicht. Also habe ich einen Sip genommen und es war wie Feuer. Es hat es schlimmer gemacht. Und ich denke, deshalb trinke ich nicht.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1196.173

Oh, I was a total pill head. I mean, I'm a junkie through and through. I'm in recovery, but once you're a junkie, you're always a junkie.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1218.827

No, milligrams. Junkies talking milligrams. How many milligrams? I don't know.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1223.009

Yeah, a zanny bar is two. So if you took a whole zanny bar... Two milligrams is a lot of... You'd be asleep.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1241.196

Yeah, I cook. For wifey? Yeah, she doesn't cook at all.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1256.436

Alright, look, you're gonna be our heterosexual. How are we going to get laid?

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1268.647

I'm trying to ask him how are we going to get laid.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1271.809

Yeah, because, you know, female comics, it's not like guy comics where it's sexy. Guys don't want to be in the back of the theater.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1306.63

Why is it the guy comments that have the girls in the back watching and they think it's sexy? The guys don't think what we do is sexy.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1321.799

I know, I know. Don't worry, we got three more. Is this the starter card? Yeah, this is the starter card. I don't know, I never was a guy that needed pussy on the road, so I never did that.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1333.384

I know, and also when you're a girl, you get raped. Like, you can't just invite some guy from the audience. I don't ever rape the willing. Just the unwilling. No, but I'm just saying, when you're a girl, you can't just pick a guy from the audience, he could fucking kill you. Like, you can't just take him back to the hotel.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1373.726

I leave him happy, but it's getting him in in the first place.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1380.01

Oh, I just asked him how can I get laid next. I haven't had sex since my ex that I'm divorced from, so it's been a year and two months.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1390.582

And by the way, I don't want to hear these bitches that are like over 40 going, I don't care if I never have sex again. That is over for me.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1398.331

No, no. Das ist eine Lüge. Wenn du gesagt hättest, dass ich nie wieder Sex habe, wäre ich enttäuscht.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1420.243

Not in the 90s though. In the 90s it was go time, honey.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1449.317

Ich bin sehr stolz, dass du diese Geschichte kennst.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1452.72

Das ist, wie du meine Mutter kennst. Ja, das ist, wie ich Maggie und den Wein kenne.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1485.686

Oh, I've had so many family members like cut me out and tell me I'm not a griffin in your eyes.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1520.286

Okay, I like ballsy chicks. Okay, tell me why you've had any relatives think you went too far.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1586.597

Here, come here. I'll braid your hair. You tell me what it is. Don't touch her.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1594.041

Some of it is from my head. Some of it is from gay men. So, you take that as you want.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1653.269

You were incarcerated? In jail. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1703.85

It's somebody texting me. No, I'm cracking up that she's secretly taking pictures with John Locke.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1739.599

Wait, who died? Who was in Baby Boy? Ving Rhames? Yeah, and Tyrese. And Tyrese. And Snoop. You should remake Baby Boy, but with a stepmom. I can't do it. And get like Timothee Chalamet to play Ving Rhames' part. Grab a headlock and lick his head.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1757.43

You know, that would be so gay, because the gays all want Chalamet. They like the twinkies, skinny. Oh, not me. Not me.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1764.734

I want Gerard Butler. Gerard Butler. Yeah. If I was gay, I'd go for a guy like that. He wakes up with a beer and a cigarette.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1771.258

He's got some tough living. The new rehab is clean now.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

180.303

What is that? Filet of what? I'm making the sandwich based on you. During the pandemic, you had a friend who had a fish store and they were making fish sandwiches. And you posted about it. You said, let's help her out.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1831.694

Ich werde sie rausziehen. Ich werde sie in den anderen reinlegen. Du musst es haben.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1835.316

Das war's für heute. Bis zum nächsten Mal. Tschüss.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1861.766

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Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1902.139

Und diese Experten-Gespräche kommt so in die Hand. Ich bin auf ihr Website gegangen und bin ein Ring-Gage-Guy. Und ich habe alle Ring-Gage mit dem Wrapp, den ich mag. Ich mag ein Maduro-Wrapp und einen großen Ring-Gage. And I found the best damn cigars that I'm taking to the beach with me tonight.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1915.907

Visit www.cigarsinternational.com slash bird or use code bird to check out for 20% off plus free shipping on your entire order.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

192.706

Your food content on Instagram is... Sie lieben mich zu essen.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1927.234

Mine. Oh, come on. I've only been in one movie. I've only acted in one thing.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1941.178

It's really something like brioche. That's an egg bread.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1945.66

No, it's brioche. Oh, that's a brioche bun. I've only ever had one in a restaurant.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1958.751

Did you see my driver? Oh yeah, she's hitting on the driver.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1981.284

God damn it! You can't do anything! I mean, what's going on?

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

1988.108

Das ist gut. Das ist gut. Every day, every day. Pink Inside, Kathy Griffiths Story. Yep. Look at this, on this, just like that. Oh, there we go.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

199.129

Ich frage mich immer, wo das Fisch-Sandwich war. Ich glaube, es ist geschlossen. Ich mache euch Fisch-Sandwiches. Was für ein Fisch ist das? Das ist Kot. Und wisst ihr was, Leute? Es wird getoppt. Ja. mit Caviar. Wir gehen High End.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2025.679

I want that one. You want this one. Okay, this is yours. Okay. Okay. What's that? Do you guys want lettuce on your... I do.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2043.327

I got this right here. Yeah, I want it on my bread. The big pickled tartar sauce. She had to get the big end. So this is lettuce.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2068.764

I don't cook. I didn't even know it was called an heirloom tomato. I thought there was a stain in the middle.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2083.048

Yeah. On the fries. You can pull those, pull those out. Why is he doing that? What are you doing? I'm gonna crisp up our fries and put them in truffle oil.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2089.074

Oh, truffle oil. Now you're talking. Yeah. How many times have you called the fireman?

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2127.118

No, we're going to crisp them up. I got you, I got you. Red Grant, red grant, red grant red grant red grant red grant red grant red grant red grant red grant red grant red grant red grant red grant red grant red grant red grant red grant red grant red grant red grant red grant red grant red grant red grant I know. Oh yeah. So do you hear it? I just want every white person to respond.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2160.051

So if you're really white, you go, hey, what are we doing wrong? And Red was like, hey man, if she didn't like you, she wouldn't talk to you. That's how black people work. And he said, so she's talking to you, so she likes you. So just be fine. That's fine. That's correct. If I didn't like you, I'd just be here like...

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2178.646

Und dann hat er mich getestet und gesagt, er hat mich in Compton gesucht, um Golf zu spielen. Ich habe nie Golf gespielt, aber nur mit weißen Menschen. Es ist viel lauter. Es ist ein bisschen wie ein Filmtheater. Es ist so viel lauter.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2194.311

Und dann war er so, er war so, okay, ich denke, du hast weiße Menschen. Wir sind in Compton. Wir sind in Compton. Du gehst in den Jack-in-the-Box alleine. Und ich sagte,

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2205.175

Oh, warte mal, du bist derjenige, der mich nicht in Randys Donuts reinlassen würde, weil du gesagt hast, dass es im Hood war.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2230.009

Rob me, fuck me, shoot me, put me on the side of the road. That's a t-shirt. That's a t-shirt. All proceeds are going to go to Snoop's football program.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2253.599

Do you grow them? No, but I've been hunting for them before.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2265.82

I have a spittoon. These smell fucking incredible. Because they will be.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2283.348

Alright, heart pressure. Go, blood pressure, blood pressure. Easy.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

229.443

Glücklicherweise habe ich eine Menge, damit wir das machen können.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2293.111

My first was the Mirage in Vegas. Really? And my second gig back was a double on a gay cruise. I went back to the Mirage after the Mirage said when that famous Trump picture dropped that I was a terrorist and that a member of ISIS was not welcome at the Mirage.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2314.698

It had to start. The Trump had picture, but before that it was me talking about celebrities. When I was backstage at a charity event, I was hosting something. Because even though the A-Listers hate me.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2337.213

That made me so uncomfortable. I know, I just wanted to turn on him.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

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But I got in trouble back in the day because when I started working, my act changed to celebrity stories. Because they're so funny. That's right, well, they're true. And these celebrities will be furious. Why do they get mad if we tell the truth? And also, they don't even come

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

241.369

Hier, wenn ihr wollt, könnt ihr ein bisschen Caviar sammeln. Okay, also. Gehen wir zurück in die Geschichte.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2420.831

I want to just stop. I asked her what her favorite meal was. And we're talking about autopsy reports, which is why I love these women. How do you feel about a person at a party?

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2443.749

Ich weiß nicht, was dein bestes Essen ist. Denk daran.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2449.652

Okay, gut. Ich nehme das Chicago Deep Dish. Ein wirklich gutes Chicago Deep Dish, weil ich aus Chicago bin. Also ein wirklich gutes... Oh, das Brot.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2458.997

Oh, ich liebe es. Ich weiß. Und du bist so skinnig. Weil ich jeden Tag für zwei Stunden arbeite.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2465.1

Oh, ich konnte nicht für den Schuss qualifizieren.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2550.765

We're trying to save your life. American Cheese. American Cheese is the best.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2578.207

I love how you're playing the camera one. Playing the camera one. There he is.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2593.272

Oh, we're doing a dollop? So I'm gonna do... Oh, yes! So I'm gonna take... It's a dollop. Put this on there.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2623.363

Okay, so you ready? Start with the fries, because you don't fuck with cold fries.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2626.405

Okay, by the way, the fries are amazing. Yeah, the fries are good.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2639.493

Anyway, everything with us is a sidebar. A lot of sidebars. This is really delish, honey. This is good. Yeah.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2696.489

might make a good sandwich, but you look disgusting right now.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2754.821

Erinnerst du dich an den Horsen? Und dann... Isaiah Mustafa. Ist das für dich ein Blatt? Nein, ich weiß.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2792.707

I know. I apologize in advance for the messy eating, but it looks so good.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2806.886

Ich bin beeindruckt. Was denkst du, Callie? Das Caviar macht es.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

281.584

Yeah, why? I just wanted to know. We want to watch. We might want to watch. Here we go.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2814.092

Du kannst essen. Ich brauche ein Kleid auf den Nell. Seine erste Schnauze.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2821.177

What does that mean? Uh-oh. He's got it, he's got it, he's got it.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2844.816

Du bist sehr spezifisch über deinen amerikanischen Käse. Nicht das.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2848.42

Das war das erste schwarze Comic, das ich jemals gesehen habe. Wer erinnert sich an den deutschen Käse? Das war in New York am Sonntag. Ein Talent-Show. Und ich dachte... Ich dachte, der deutsche Käse.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

2864.075

Nein. Okay, this is... I'm watching you running around.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3009.919

That's fish. Okay, Jessica Simpson, is it chicken or fish? It's fish. Even you know that.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3101.479

Alright, I got an idea. Leanne, get in here. Can I have the other half of your sandwich?

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3109.789

Alright, I mean, I'm up for it. I don't really... Come here, girl! I'm, I'm, no. I've been laughing so hard. Leanne.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3128.591

Congratulations, Mrs. Kushner. I don't think she's a sloppy bitch. She sucks dick like someone trying boba. That's in the special. Check out my special Lucky, streaming right now on Netflix. Can you cut it like that? No, no.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3201.585

In Houston. He wasn't gay, was he? I thought he was a thief.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

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We get along, but I feel like... She don't fuck with you? Yeah, yeah.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

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Okay, but we go on. I do like her. No, I think she don't like you. Well, I don't know. No, I know.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3263.728

What the hell is the energy in this house? Everyone thinks everyone is dead. We got it in the fridge if you want some, Kathy. You can get into hallucinogenics or something.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

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Okay. By the way, quick interlude. Roseanne gave me my first TV gig. She had a show called Saturday Night Special. She was trying to rival Lorne Michaels, but it was on Fox. And she put me in the cast.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3319.9

You're choking on that little old French fly. She's a choker. You know, you can't choke. You gotta commit to the bit.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3338.347

It's nice. Okay. If you saw it, it wouldn't be the biggest thing you've ever seen. No, but I don't need big. You get to a certain age, you don't need all that.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

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It's like that. It's funny, I was talking to Shaq about having a big day. But when it's... Und ich sagte zu Shaq, er war so... Ich sagte, was schön ist, ist, dass ich meinen ganzen Arsch in eine Vagina stecken kann. Und du merkst, dass er das nicht getan hat. Und er hat das nicht gemerkt. Und er hat gesagt, was? Und ich sagte, oh ja, ich habe das ganze Ding drin. Und er hat gesagt, was?

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

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Das ist wie jemand, der in der Garage parkiert hat. Warum? Sie wussten nicht, dass das ganze Ding in der Garage ist. Warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, warte, w

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

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Okay, what they said. I said, what do you mean? What they said.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3408.267

Oh, das Gegenteil. Das wäre schrecklich. Vielleicht ist es so, dass er kleiner ist als sein Körper. Es ist wie wenn man ein Gebäude mitten in Omaha baut.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

342.896

That's right. I did used to love her and she was so good to me. And the other cast member was named Jennifer Coolidge. Oh, no way.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3432.129

Oh mein Gott, ich kann nicht. Ich weiß nicht über Inch, aber ich kann dir sagen, es war tatsächlich schmerzhaft.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3435.51

Wie es mich schmerzhaft gemacht hat. Wie? Wie? Es war nur ein... Schau, ich bin überrascht. Aranda, Aranda, Aranda. Es war ein Kiefer. Ein Kiefer. Ich bin überrascht.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3440.892

Gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir, gib mir Really? Yeah. He was a... Black. He was black.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

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Did you congratulate him? What are you getting from your purse? Do we have to pay for this? Oh, God.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

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Yeah, so that was like our first TV break and it ran for like, I think, eight episodes.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3526.827

Okay, aber du magst keine kleinen Männer. Du hast ihm gesagt, du magst keine kleinen Männer.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

355.788

And she was still doing the sitcom. Like, people forget how groundbreaking she was. By the way, she hates me now and calls me names and says I'm ugly.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3572.556

Okay. Someone's trauma just showed up in the middle of the show. You go, he goes, yeah.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

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What are you talking about? Okay. So he means bland food, but he doesn't want to.

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3633.609

Well, you said you want to fuck the driver. Where do you think you're going to do it?

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Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3639.295

But you have to pick a location. No, you have to pick a location.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3684.772

Kirchner is gonna drop it. Not Kirchner. He's been there. Uh, Kreischer. Kreischer. Do I have a wrong too?

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3693.776

You should have this shit right there. Oh, nein, nimm einfach ein Zeichen hier, das nach unten zeigt. Nimm dein Shirt. Nimm dein Shirt.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3705.743

Du hast es geschafft. Du hast es geschafft. Soll ich Red Grab nennen? Red Grab nennen. Wer denkst du, dass ich zuerst antworten werde? Mir oder dir?

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3720.185

It's on. Hold on, hold on. Me, motherfucker. Where's my phone? Where's my phone?

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3733.849

I know, I know. Right now, does he choose his culture or the white guy?

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3748.563

Alright, let's do, hang on, no, no, no. Dave Chappelle. Chappelle? Let's do Chappelle. Oh my God, FaceTime? FaceTime Dave Chappelle. Me and you at the same time.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3759.193

Hold on, give her a minute. Give her a minute. I don't have his number anymore.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3833.705

He got the point across. He'll watch it. It's less than five seconds. Oh mein Gott. Oh mein Gott. Oh mein Gott.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

386.517

I'm gonna stop because I'll eat this whole fucking can. I just pulled a muscle.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

391.36

You didn't stretch first. I didn't stretch at all. Go back to this video. Keep going. Get out of county. You read the book.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3926.769

And they play your favorite songs, just one of them. You can bring one back to life for one show. You bring all your friends and family, it's a private show. And we'll do it over in Chapelles, where he's got the gazebo. Who do you bring, Michael Jackson or Prince? Michael, easy.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3945.837

I bring Prince to sing me the beautiful ones from Purple Rain.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3953.822

Isch! Isch! The jury's out. I'm giving him time to think about it.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3993.429

Was ist dein Lieblings-Prinz-Song? Purple Rain ist ziemlich furchtbar.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

3999.172

Oh, wow. Ich habe mit Prinz gespielt und mit Michael gearbeitet. Hast du mit Prinz gespielt? Ja. Wann hast du mit Prinz gespielt?

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4010.438

Er hat gespielt und dann... Ich habe ihn auch mal verarscht. Ein Schauspieler kam zu mir und sagte, es gibt ein Schauspiel, das du gehen kannst. Und wie du weißt, bringt er eine Frau aus dem Publikum und macht sie tanzen. Das war du. Er hat es mit Kim Kardashian gemacht und du würdest nicht tanzen. Und er hat sich verarscht.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4026.816

Also als ich da war... I had my white lady embarrassing dancing, but I committed to it. And I was flipping my hair. And it was amazing. And I got to thank him afterwards. And he was truly mysterious.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4048.285

And I got to work with Michael Jackson and the craziest thing was backstage, he did not have the high voice.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4075.123

I love it. Okay, he just tried to FaceTime me, too.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4098.349

And then we both fucked up? So yes, Michael Jackson had a very low voice.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4108.439

So do you think that was just like a branding thing for him?

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4119.964

I think so. I think you maybe mentally stay at the age when you were traumatized. So I would think that he had a very traumatic childhood and was traumatized at a very young age. And my guess is that's why he kind of talked like a little kid. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4161.055

Nein, es waren nur zu viele. Ich fragte sie, warte, wartet ihr auf mich? Nein, es war jemand anderes. Ich fragte, ist es Janet? Ich fragte, ist es Miss Jackson? Sie sagte, sie kommt in einem Sekunden. Ich fragte, können wir warten? Sie sagten, nein, deshalb sind wir hier. I have a recent picture with Janet.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4181.528

For real? She's probably had stalkers since she was a little kid.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

419.428

So that's what's making me... I was wondering... Don't start with me about the racism. I'm not going there.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

42.797

Oh, getting cancelled was way worse. I've always thought so. And by the way, cancelled is like an understatement. How about being investigated by the Department of Justice and interrogated under oath?

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4208.14

Oh, yeah. Oh, she was beautiful. That was Chip Fields, the mother of Kim Fields.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4236.515

Tootie, Tootie, Tootie, Tootie. Tootie, Rudi, Rudi, Tootie. Rudi und Tootie, sie sollten ein Sitcom, ein Spinoff haben.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4245.318

Okay, es ist Chappelle. Ich habe es dieses Mal. Ich denke, ich weiß. Warte, warte, warte.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

427.912

And I'm not going to ask you to educate me either.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4302.584

His name is Shane Gillis. Is he really? David, when are you going to hire me back out?

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4569.036

You did the Apollo. How fucking quick. By yourself. By yourself. Not with like a... Not with the boys. Yeah, not with the boys.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4593.334

Sie ist real. Sie ist, wer sie ist. No. Ich denke, du hast vorher angefangen.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4606.325

Um, I didn't... Did you go back to comedy school and shit? Yeah, I was actually an actress first. I'm very high though, so I don't believe that. So I was an actress first. I didn't really start stand-up until I was like 35.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4624.527

Suddenly Susan and, you know, guest spots or whatever and a lot of theater. How? And just actressy stuff and that's how I started. Everybody, anybody and everybody.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4647.439

Can I share how much you guys mean to me in different times? I think I've said this to both of you, but I just want to share it. So I'll start with Lunel. Me. I was in Montreal and I did not have anything going on. I was working in Travel Channel. I wasn't doing stand-up a ton and I was nervous. And I was older. I think I was like 42. And I just felt like the business had passed me by.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4674.116

And I felt old. And I was sitting outside a bar before I was doing a showcase. And Lunel came walking by. She went, hey, what are you doing? And I said, and she could tell I was nervous. She said, come in and have a drink with me. And we went in and we had a couple drinks. And you walked me through how... Fuck the industry, fuck the king makers, fuck them.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4691.431

You make your own way, you do this your own way. This doesn't mean anything. We're just here to see our friends and that's why we're here. This is you, me and you having a moment like this. And I went up and I had a great set. And right after that I got fired from Travel Channel and I redid my life.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4745.789

I agree. I call it burning desires. It's a therapy. I finished my tour on Sunday and let me tell you, I am so happy to be here and grateful because I know I'm going to emotionally plummet. And even though, you know, for me to go back on the road after all the crap I've been through.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4768.387

Look, I don't sell the most tickets in the world, but I have a nice, like, steady where I can play boxes.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4774.17

And I'm super grateful. You do the same venues we all do. You do big venues. And I'm thrilled.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4777.591

But I know this week... This week, I know, I gotta take care of myself every day because our mutual friend Sia said touring is like being in a kayak and you're white water rafting and you know the cliff is coming, but then when the cliff comes, you still go down.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4803.885

Oh, wow. 2000 hatte ich einen ICM-Showcase. Wir hatten beide den gleichen Agenten, Andy Cohen.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4825.48

Nicht den Bravo-Agenten. Nicht den Deadhead-Andy Cohen.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4828.201

Und so hast du es gehostet. Die erste Person, die auf den Showcase ging, war Scott Henry. Die nächste Person, die auf den Showcase ging, war Earthquake.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

484.173

You ready? Yeah, I think. I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

487.871

My new special Lucky is streaming right now on Netflix. Check it out.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4870.021

I mean... He comes up and he goes, hey man, no one wants to go next. You were going to go sixth. Would you like to go next? In New York, I always felt like if someone did good, I could follow good. I could just ride their wave. And then if I got, you know, it was on me. Yeah. So, real quick, they grab you and they go, the next person going up is Burt Kreischer. And you're like, okay.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4892.277

And so you bring me up. And you go, Burt Kreischer. And I go up after an earthquake. My opening joke was, my name's Burt, hot sexy name. It's the last thing we're gonna hear during sex. Some chick on top of you in the dark going, ah, ah, ah, Burt. So I go, I go, shh, call me earthquake. And the place explodes, right? Explodes. And I do my seven minute set. And I have

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4913.144

Es ist verrückt, in diesen alten Industrie-Tipps, als ich es tue, stehen Leute auf und gehen umher. Und ich bin so, warte, was ist los? Die Lachen sind groß. Und Kathy kam auf und das ist mein letzter Witz über das Dating-Spiel. Ja. Das war immer die Frage. Oh! Oh! Oh!

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4953.356

I'm so glad I said that too. I'm so glad you heard it.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4956.577

I walked off the stage, Andy Cohen and Barry Katz said, do not talk to anyone. And what was happening was, everyone was coming over to grab me. And they walked me out the back door, put me in a car and sent me away.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4970.5

Don't talk to nobody. Julie Pernworth was standing outside waiting for me. She goes, would you like to be in the TV show? Yes, dear.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

4983.765

Aber das ist, warum ihr Mädchen so wichtig für mich seid.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5028.883

Oh ja, ich meine, jedes Mal, wenn ich dachte, dass das die Gag ist, die den nächsten führt, war es schwer. Und manchmal ist es so, dass eine Telefonrufe dein ganzes Leben verändert. Eine Telefonrufe. Es ist mir passiert.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

504.991

So wait, who are your ride or dies? Like, Rogan's one of my guys. When shit goes down with him, I pick his side. I don't give a fuck what anyone says.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5040.525

Oh yeah, even just a phone call, like, I get a text from, I deal with a little OCD and like depression, or not depression, I don't know what that really is, but like OCD and like worrying, worrying and anxiety. And then you get one text in the morning of someone who watched your special, who you respect, and they're like, yo, today I'm gonna humble brag, edit his name out.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5078.831

Okay. By the way, this is how you ruin relationships in Hollywood. He's a friendship loser. I know.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5099.341

He talked to me this morning. Er hat gesagt, er liebt deine Specials, das ist fantastisch.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5106.124

Oh mein Gott, das ist so seltsam. Okay, ich lasse dir ein Video-Message.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

513.913

Okay, but wait, do you call him, like, if you're having a hard day? Like, is he that kind of friend, too?

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

518.494

Like, I need advice. I'm going through some shit. Okay. Als er einen von seinen größten... Ich glaube, er hat einen von seinen größten gecancelt. Ich bin durchgegangen und habe ihn angerufen. Und ich habe gesagt, ich spreche über diesen und diesen. Und dann habe ich gemerkt, oh Scheiße, das Land versucht, ihn zu canceln. Ich habe gesagt, Joe, ich bin so sorry, Mann.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5205.486

Hey, thank you for the text this morning. That was very sweet. Have a great day. You want to say something, Kathy?

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5210.57

Hi, Bradley Cooper. It's me, Kathy Griffin, and you're very talented. And fine.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5213.653

Have a great day. Bye, Bradley. Okay. Motherfuckers, you don't get it. By the way, I just want you to see, who doesn't hit play on this video message? Who doesn't hit play on this video message?

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5239.451

Das ist wirklich lustig. Das ist wirklich lustig. Das ist wirklich lustig.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5270.348

Here, give me Anderson Cooper's number. I'll call her. Oh, no.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5322.569

Oh, that's true. He does like five lives a day. Come on. No, no, I agree.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5344.908

Ihr seid wett. Nehmt einen Moment. Es ist wie ein Wett-T-Shirt.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5349.613

Oh, das hat mich so hart gelacht. Nicht in der guten Weise. Nenn mich Don Lemon. Nenn Don Lemons Arsch.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

536.931

Ich habe gesagt, wie geht es dir? Und er hat gesagt, alles gut. Ja, gut. Er schwebt nicht.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5362.385

Es gibt keine Internet-Konnexion. Bitte lasst mich wissen. Ich würde Don Lemon nennen. Leute.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5396.019

Kat would have gotten him out of prison for the day just to spend the day with Kat. And like then go back later.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5402.722

Kat, one of the biggest compliments I ever got. Two of the best compliments I ever got was Dave's spell of Kat Williams. No, no, no, I'm talking about...

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5449.957

Oh, I like Lizzo bigger. I like Lizzo when Lizzo was Lizzo. When she forced her people to do the sex thing. I didn't need her in chat for the game.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5460.024

So you go to a couple stripper joints with your boss, big deal. And you're dancers, you're out on the road. I'm sorry, I think she got a wrong deal on that.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5468.39

Und ich bin sicher, dass viele dieser Tänzer, die hier spielen, und ich entschuldige mich, aber es ist nicht aus der Welt der Möglichkeiten, zu denken, dass wenn du ein Show im Stadion gemacht hast und du Lizzo bist, vielleicht für Spaß, gehst du zu einem verdammten Strip-Joint und machst ein paar off-color-Geräusche, weil du in einem Strip-Joint bist, vielleicht hattest du ein paar Cocktails.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5491.001

I wasn't there, but I just think she got a raw deal.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5496.185

I think she did too. Good for you. I did the same thing three months earlier with my whole team.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5532.494

Ein bisschen. Ein bisschen. Ein bisschen. Ein bisschen.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5566.877

I'm just saying, you know. It would be great to close this out with a Don Lemon just read the camera.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5575.34

I bet your numbers and your names in here are crazy. Of course. Yes.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5579.741

I think you just need his number and call. Oh, great. The video. The video. The video. Ja. Ja. Ja. Ja.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

560.168

Can I tell you something? Kat, you. Kat has not spoken to me since I made my ill-advised apology video for my Trump head picture, which I should not have made.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5677.799

I'm getting ready to go live to this crazy ass president. We're all fucking screwed. Put a tariff on that belly.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5698.127

You don't got five... That might be my favorite comment I've ever made on a podcast. Five superstars.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

57.91

Nobody's been cancelled like Kathy's been cancelled. You should do a show called Cancel Wars. Where you bring in people that are newly cancelled and then you are the judge and you're like, alright, here's the deal. It's like old school Henry V. I'm like, have the feds called?

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5714.578

Or the E2 Award. We can do everything. Is your phone ringing again? Let's see if Bradley Cooper called you back.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5728.106

If Bradley called you back. Can I just show you? I got a FaceTime yesterday in bed. Random FaceTime. Oh, that wipes ass. It just went through. I got a FaceTime yesterday morning in bed at like 7am.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

578.537

I had the State Department calling me saying I was the face of ISIS. Look at me, I look like Riva.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

586.942

A little bit, I don't mean to brag. But Kat was so mad at me that I apologized.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5894.102

May 16th at the Apollo. Yeah. What's our schedule look like? I'd like to come see that. I've never been to the Apollo.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

594.806

I know, I know, and I miss him because I think he's such a genius.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

5980.616

Ich würde sagen, ich würde einfach sagen, Mädchen, es war ein epischer Episode.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

603.251

Just squeeze it. You gotta do it a couple of times.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

6034.469

The Vietnamese soft, soft, soft ones. I'm not using any racial slice.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

6067.21

That is not Bradley Cooper, but it's important to know. Very important. Important to know.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

610.354

That's a small torch. I don't know what you call it, but you might call it a lighter. It's a small torch.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

6133.968

Ladies and Gentlemen, that was a great episode of Something's Burning. Thank you. Thank you, Kathy Griffin. You guys are fucking legends. You mean a lot to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you. Yeah.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

616.477

It's a blowtorch. Don't get any of my hairpiece. This costs a fortune.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

624.06

So then also, a fish sandwich has to have fries, but we're going to class it up. I got fries, I got garlic, I got truffle oil. How long have you been doing this? I've been doing this for a while.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

663.805

So you're just like judging. You're just a little judgy.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

670.168

I'm gonna bake them and then I'm gonna... But this is the best. Because when you hear things that black people say about white people and you go, wait, you guys don't do that? Like wearing your socks in an airplane and going to the bathroom in your socks.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

701.945

Ja, ich habe zwei Bullmastiffs. Wer ist die mysteriöse Person, mit der ich spreche?

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

717.155

My name is Tom Segura. Here's my problem with Jews. Oh, wait a minute.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

74.158

No, this is what you do. You go, Roseanne, you said some stuff about the Jews and you call that lady a monkey.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

745.37

Kat. Kat? Ja. Wie klingt er? Ich... Ich... Zuerst mal, ich mag es nicht, wenn man sich vergleicht, weil sie so anders sind. Ich kenne David seit er 18 Jahre alt ist und ich finde, er ist großartig. Ich weiß, wie viel du Kat liebst. Ich glaube, es gibt etwas über Kat, das Andy Kaufmann-esk ist, in dem er ein eindeutiger Geist ist. Und ich weiß nicht, ob Kat was er tut, was er tut. Nein.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

762.038

Es kommt einfach raus, wie nichts, was ich je gesehen habe.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

766.22

Schau, er hat einen Thermometer. Ein Kompliment von Kat und ein Kompliment von Dave. Als ein weißer Komiker ist es besser als ein Oscar.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

805.898

This show is sponsored by DraftKings. Teams are hungry and ready to battle it out for the final spots to compete for the championship. Has your team secured their spot yet? Don't miss a second of the hoops action with my partners at DraftKings Sportsbook. From every game day until the trophy is lifted, DraftKings Sportsbook has got you covered with same game parlays, odds boosts and so much more.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

831.052

Here's something special for first timers. Bis zum nächsten Mal. Tschüss. Bis zum nächsten Mal. Tschüss. Bonusbets expire 168 hours after issuance.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

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Cocktail time, cocktail time. Okay, but what are you waiting for? Like, what's going to be the thing that makes you release it? The thing about it is...

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

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Sound of Madness and all the classics you'll love alongside some of the never before performed deep cuts. And of course, the mind-blowing production of Pyro, the band is known for. And I am telling you, I've seen that firsthand. We saw them on tour. Our whole group saw them. And it was one of the most amazing shows.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

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They play acoustic. I'm telling you, Zach, Okay, I got one for you. Believe it or not, I have only written for one other person in my whole life besides myself. I write all my own stuff.

Bertcast

Something’s Burning: Complete Chaos with Luenell and Kathy Griffin | S5 E08

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I wrote a joke for Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Ich liebe ihn, ich lebe ihn. Er präsentierte sich an der Demokratischen Nationenkonvention, als Hillary da war. Sein Manager rief mich an und fragte, ob ich Jokes habe. Ich sagte, dass ich kein klassischer Joke-Writer bin.

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan

Why "The Let Them Theory" is Terrible Advice For Women, Plus Celebs and the Dangers of Ozempic

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Case in point, a dinner at the legendary talent agent Sue Manger's house, in which I was privileged to be invited. It was, I think, only eight people there, and one of them was the great Jack Nicholson. So when Hammy showed up, I swear to God, inside I was like, oh, great. He even says to me, he goes, what are you doing here? Anyway, he proceeded to get very drunk during the coffee table portion.

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan

Why "The Let Them Theory" is Terrible Advice For Women, Plus Celebs and the Dangers of Ozempic

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And then it was time for dinner. Sue sat hammy next to me, which was uncomfortable, but I wasn't going to bother her. But at least Jack Nicholson was there. And I could focus on hopefully getting to know one of the great actors of our time.

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan

Why "The Let Them Theory" is Terrible Advice For Women, Plus Celebs and the Dangers of Ozempic

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Then Jack, who usually directs whatever he's saying to seemingly like the world at large, he actually focused on me and he went off on this tangent about Rupert Murdoch almost getting a pie in the face during a parliamentary hearing in England. You can look up the clip. Anyway, I was asking Jack about why he was so interested in this and he started doing an imitation of

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan

Why "The Let Them Theory" is Terrible Advice For Women, Plus Celebs and the Dangers of Ozempic

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of Murdoch, the right-wing media mogul, and I was in heaven. And then Hammy picks that moment when Jack Nicholson is talking to me to start whispering like boozy, stupid, yammering attempts at jokes in my ear. So the first one was, you know, your Emmy isn't a real Emmy. I was like, whatever. So I kind of just ignored him. Then the next one, he just goes, you're so old.

The Nerve with Maureen Callahan

Why "The Let Them Theory" is Terrible Advice For Women, Plus Celebs and the Dangers of Ozempic

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I just swear to God, I said it out of the side of my mouth. I go, not now. And then he kept going. Stuff like, do you know how old you look? Finally, I just fucking snap. I just turn. I go, look, you can't keep up. You're outclassed. Zip it. Jack's talking.