Kate Ashford
Appearances
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
So thankfully, my stepfather has an enormous family, and they circled the wagons, and he was kind of taken care of. So he was not on my plate, but my mother very much was my responsibility at the time.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
Exactly.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
I think you're exactly right to call it a series of conversations, because sitting down and saying something like, Mom, it's time for me to take over your finances probably isn't going to create the back and forth you're looking for. Yeah. So ideally, this should happen over time in little moments, starting years before you might actually need to do anything before anyone is worried or sick.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
It can be one big conversation if it needs to be. One approach is to bring up your own planning, estate planning, financial planning, and ask your parents how they've prioritized. So what sorts of things have they put in place and how did they make those decisions? It puts them in the position of being the advisor, which helps.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
I actually didn't. I was really lucky in that my mom and stepfather had done all their estate planning without me having to prompt them. So when I had to step in to manage things, it was really just a matter of going back to their attorney to alter the names on the paperwork.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
If we had had to start from scratch, it would have been a big process in the middle of something that was already really stressful.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
Yeah. I mean, it would have been a big sticky thing to try to broach that in the middle of the situation.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
Yeah. So sometimes people can bring up something that's happened to a friend of theirs or something they've seen in the news. Make something up if you have to, where something happened to a parent and their adult children didn't know where to find all of their accounts, say, or their estate planning wasn't done at all.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
It's a good way to find out how organized they are and to kind of subtly poke them on the things that they should be doing. Because ideally, they've got something like a will, a living will and powers of attorney in place. But this is a good chance to talk about that if they don't.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
Absolutely. And again, the more you can do this in little doses, the less anxious everybody gets, I think.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
Oh, for sure.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
there are two kinds of powers of attorney generally, financial power of attorney and healthcare power of attorney, which is sometimes called a medical power of attorney or healthcare proxy. Having financial power of attorney means you can handle your loved one's finances. So you can sign checks, you can make payments, you can talk to the bank on their behalf.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
And this can be super helpful if you're in the position of having to move money around or pay bills or pay caregivers. That said, even though I had power of attorney from my mom, sometimes I had to have her on the phone while I made calls to people so that she could verify that I had her permission to discuss things or to take actions. So it depends on the company.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
In that case, and I did have to do this in a couple of cases, you can fax over a copy of the power of attorney paperwork and then they will talk to you. But it's kind of a thing to get the right person on the phone and fax it to the right place.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
Who has a fax machine now? Right.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
So having health care power of attorney means, as you might expect, you can make health decisions on your parents' behalf. So if they are incapacitated, you can make decisions about their care. And even if they're not incapacitated, being a parent's health care proxy means you can speak to medical professionals about what's going on with them.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
When my mom was in the hospital in her state and I was here in New York, I could call and get an update on what was going on with her care. I also had access to her healthcare portal so I could see test results as they rolled in. That was super helpful. That's a password that's nice to have if your parent is willing to share it, particularly if they're sick or getting a lot of medical care.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
Honestly, this is really going to depend on your parents' financial situation and where they're sitting tax-wise. And this can vary from year to year because there may be years when they have more income, like they've sold a home and they may not need to or want to withdraw as much taxable income. And there'll be other years when they've got more wiggle room or they need to pull more out.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
So to the extent that it's possible, a financial advisor or tax professional can really help you here. And advisors are really accessible these days. You can see them in person or online. Some of them charge a percentage of assets or charge by the hour or charge a fee for a one-time consultation.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
So you can generally find someone whose services and fee structure kind of match up with what you need. You mentioned sort of a pension and annuity setup. That would usually show up in steady income payments over time. So that's just something to factor into the budget along with whatever they're getting for Social Security.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
I think the biggest thing to know here is that Medicare does not cover long-term care, which can be a huge expense. If your parents have a long-term care policy or life insurance with a chronic care rider, first of all, that's good to know, but take a look at it and understand its limitations and what it covers.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
Unfortunately, most people don't have long-term care coverage, so paying for things like in-home care, assisted living, or a nursing home will be out of pocket. There are lots of organizations that can answer questions about this. Your local agency on aging is a great place to start. They can generally point you towards some resources if your parents need help.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
If you have questions, I'm a big believer in asking questions. And then to the extent that they need to see a doctor or be in the hospital, Medicare does cover that kind of care. Although the way Medicare covers it depends on whether they've chosen original Medicare or Medicare Advantage. And about half of people 65 and over are on each.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
Original Medicare is provided by the federal government, and you can see any provider in the U.S. that accepts Medicare. On the other hand, Medicare Advantage is provided by private insurance companies and works more like health insurance you might have had with a job. So there's a network, and you have to use doctors in that network who accept your insurance.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
At NerdWallet, we generally recommend that if you can afford Original Medicare with a Medigap plan, which is a supplement that helps cover costs, that's the most flexible way to make sure you're covered if something serious happens.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
You know, it's really hard to be managing both things at the same time. And I definitely put some things on the back burner because I didn't have the time or energy for them. But to the extent that you can be present in your life when you're in your life, you know, help your kids with their homework, take them to school, ask for help when you need it.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
So they need rides from people or their parents are there to help you. Remember that you do have a life and needs of your own. So take walks and get exercise and play with your dog and spend time with your kids. I got really good at appreciating the small joys during this time in my life.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
And if you have work benefits that offer access to a therapist or online therapy services, don't be shy about using them. It really helps to talk to someone who isn't your spouse or your friends because you will repeat yourself a lot. And the situation can be frustrating and overwhelming and heartbreaking. And sometimes it's just nice to lean on a professional.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
I think it was really helpful for them to see this play out because they were able to see that you at some point may have to take responsibility for an older loved one. And that's a lot of work. And it's really helpful if they put some things in place. And certainly it does help me think about what would I want to have in place? What do I need to do to make their lives easier?
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
So it is a situation that kind of made all of us think about things.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
At the time, so they were probably 11 and 13. So right in the middle of middle school.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
They did.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
Yeah.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
Yes, I do. One thing that doesn't get mentioned a lot is making sure you have at some point all the usernames and passwords for your parents' accounts. So even if you don't need to use them now, they are really good to have for the future. And I would say, depending on whether your parents are tech savvy, my mother was not, this may be something to put together with them physically next to you.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
Because if they've forgotten a password, so many sites now have two-factor authentication and require you to provide a code that's sent to your email or phone. That could be a nightmare to work through with a parent long distance. And I say this because it's helpful to have this for lots of reasons.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
It's a huge help to be able to get into their bank or credit card statements so you can check on things or you can manage things if you're in that role. But if they have an issue with the website and they can't access something, you can go in and fix it, even if you aren't on site and that's helpful.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
Although it's incredibly sad to think about when a parent dies, you will need to shut down their accounts. And that's the last thing you want to be struggling to figure out. Like I needed to cancel my mom's subscription to Netflix and her Amazon Prime account. And I was super grateful that I had all information before she wasn't able to give it to me anymore.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
Yeah, and I really didn't want to get on the phone with Netflix. It just, it seemed so complicated. I was happy I had all the information.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
Absolutely. Thanks, Sean.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
Hi, Sean. I'm always happy to be here.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
Yes, actually, I do have experience with this, fortunately or unfortunately. I landed in a long-distance caregiving role a couple of years ago when my stepfather, who was my mom's primary caregiver, got sick and he wasn't able to care for her anymore and she wasn't able to care for herself.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
It was really sudden and I had to step in and put some complicated systems in place to manage things at home and then manage things in assisted living when she moved out of the home and then in the hospital when she got sicker and finally in hospice care. I live in New York, and she lived in very rural Virginia. So none of this was easy. Getting services for her wasn't easy.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
And by the way, I also have two teenagers and a full-time job. So I understand the stress. It was very stressful.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
Oh, thank you.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
Well, for a time, we had to put caregivers in place. She couldn't be home by herself. She wasn't mobile. So we had to put caregivers into the home. But that's complicated, finding people in a very rural part of the state who could be there at the times when we needed. And then sometimes people didn't show up and family had to step in. So it was the whole thing.
NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast
Managing the Job Market and Your Parents’ Finances: Tips for the Sandwich Generation
Yeah, in-home care is not the cheapest of options, but we were trying to keep her in the home for as long as we could. So it was a good in-between option, and she didn't want to leave. So for the time being, it was helpful to be able to bring in care.