Julia Mervis

Six years?

I didn't think I knew that.

It doesn't even need to necessarily be about there being someone else. It's just the feeling of going back to all the old. The feeling of something you left behind. Yeah, agreed.

Same. I love her so much.

Okay. Funny. Funny. You should ask. I have two.

One. I know you'll agree with me on the other. I know you will disagree with me on.

I'm going to start on the one that I know you'll agree with me on down bad.

Did you really? The, the, Who has a mind to think like this? You know what I mean? Like, did you really beam me up in a cloud of spark? Beam me up in a cloud of sparkling dust just to do experiments on? Told me I was the chosen one.

Like, the feeling that she's comparing, like, love to, like, extraterrestrial abduction. No, you know I feel the same way. It's insanity. Do I, like, relate to it all that much? No. No, but, like, I'm going to appreciate the art.

I needed to hear that. That song is a work of art.

It's so unapologetic.

She's never broken the fourth wall.

Um, okay. What's next?

Um, I mean, I guess, like, by statistic, it would be So Long London, but I don't claim that as my Taylor Swift song of the year.

I'm really trying to think what mine is.

Yeah, Fortnite's good. It never, like, hit me the way it hit you, though.

Um, I don't know that mine's, like, necessarily, like, from TTP.

I listened to Maroon so much this year.

Midnight's is my favorite Taylor Swift album, I think.

I think it's no skips.

I really do. I don't know. It just like is so special to me.

Yeah. Well, my song of the year, I'll say. I'm not going to say We Can't Be Friends. Oh. Because that's yours.

That is mine. It's ours, but, like, that's yours for right now, okay?

So true.

Yeah. So like let me just pause for a second. My album of the year is absolutely positively Eternal Sunshine.

Like without a doubt.

My song of the year is probably something from Maternal Sunshine, but for the sake of being a little different, honorable mention to Gracie Abrams. She, like, really shaped my year.

She really shaped my year. You really listened the fuck out of her. I was on my Gracie train this year. Like, specifically, Let It Happen. It's, like, about a toxic relationship, and she's, like, talking about how, like, I don't know. It really moved me.

um also i was so shocked when this wasn't my number one song of 2024 messier by tate mccray that's like my favorite song of all time of all time of all time like i listen to it every day oh seeing that live was awesome yeah but the thing about seeing music in la is like you're always like embarrassed to yeah everyone's so judgmental it's not i just want to sing my heart out well your song of the year isn't well is it not imperfect for you

Yeah, it is. It is imperfect for you. You love that one. That is my song of the year. That's my favorite song off of Eternal Sunshine. I think it is. Yeah, it is.

I want to be on stage.

I want to be held by her in a baby beaver.

I hope she brings that pony back.

Yeah, she did have her pony. She looked so good wearing Loewe.

We were shopping for Halloween costumes. Gagged.

Yeah, she said.

Yeah. Yeah, she did. Oh, my God, she did. Yeah. And I was like... She had her pony.

Yeah, that was, like, her real Ariana era.

Yeah. What was your show?

Mm-hmm.

So good.

Arguably, TV is as important, if not more important to you than music.

Like movies, not as much. TV is like very important to you.

Yes.

I can't separate myself from things.

Yes, thousand percent.

Do you want to tell everyone once again why you started watching?

Mm-hmm. But I, Hacks like. And that is the Hannah to my Marnie.

Right. You felt very attached to it. Yeah. It felt personal.

Yeah.

I don't think it came out this year, but I watched it this year. Daisy Jones and the Six.

Oh my God, was I clinical for that show.

Uh-huh.

I've never cried like that in my life.

The last episode, I was in a puddle of tears. I was hyperventilating, like hyperventilating. I couldn't breathe, couldn't form words.

Yeah, when she, it's like the tape and like the daughter's like filming all of them and that was like the whole thing.

And like, you remember back to the beginning when they're like, for however many years, like they've refused to talk about what happened until now and then you realize it's like the... You realize it's the what? The daughter, like, doing it as a project to, like, honor her mom. I have full body chills. I have chills on my face.

Also, Stevie Nicks talked about how much she loved the show and how she's, like, begging them to do a season two.

Maybe it's, like, the two of them, like, reconnecting. Forgot about that. When she knocks on the door, right?

Also, just, like, overall, like, what a cast.

What a fucking cast.

Yeah, Suki Waterhouse. Obsessed. Camilla. Maroon. Maroon. Who looks like that? Seriously. I've never seen someone that looks like that.

Yeah. Just everything about that show was really like it felt like super special to me. Also the music. Why was it so good?

Like just the story was really great. I don't, I'm not like the big, like I know like the Fleetwood Mac hits. I'm not like a fan.

I'd say somewhere in between. Yeah. Like closer than not. My meal of the year.

I think yours is probably going to be the same as mine. One time we went to Matsuhisa.

It was the best meal of my life. And we nailed an order down that changed the trajectory of our lives.

I saved it. I have it.

And you ask me every time and I send it to you every time.

I want that.

Sounds so good.

Yeah, I love udon.

Yeah. I think that's just because we're like annoying Americans and like we prefer things here.

Yeah. And like preservatives. Everything's so much more unhealthy here. Like that's why we like it.

Okay. Something we haven't spoken about, which just feels disturbing. And I'm going to say it as my honorable mention of the year. Brat. Because what a fun time to be named Julia.

What a fun time to have a basic name and feel special.

Mm-hmm.

No, like, Brat is New York. Brat's not LA. Sorry.

No.

No one has fun here.

It's not crazy here.

Like, the tales of, like, Hollywood parties, like, that doesn't happen. Anymore. Or we're not invited.

It's not fun. Also, we are just miserable people, so we don't have fun, period.

Yeah.

It's time to be bi-coastal.

Yes. Because she is outrageous as a human. That's my video of the year. The video of her scaring her in Indianapolis. And she screams in bed when you're holding her.

Fruit punch.

There's no one more funny. She's my everything.

Oh yeah.

Buckle up, seriously.

By the time this comes out, we'll probably be there.

Do you have any resolutions?

Yeah, I feel like it's doing good things for you. No one's shaking his head aggressively.

Okay, hold on, what?

I actually agree. You've almost been less angry.

I think you look great.

I had a lot of fun on tour with you.

Matt kept telling everyone, thank God for Joy.

Okay.

I was going to say our weekend in Vegas was so much fucking fun.

Also, I don't know why, but like I prefer driving to Vegas over flying every single time.

I hate flying. Like I would rather spend the extra hours in a car than at an airport. Right. Like it's what's more fun than a road trip. But then we went to this rest stop. That was seriously like that could have been like a cruel and unusual punishment for me specifically. I've never been in such a disgusting place in my life. Like I was scared to set foot.

The pictures of Peyton. Wait, I gotta find these. Hold on.

Anyways, you didn't ask me what my resolutions were. Oh. And my resolution is to have better posture because I look like a fucking hunchback at all times.

No, that's fine.

No, it was just summer.

Vegas was so much fun.

I didn't go to there. Here's you and Peyton in Vegas.

Peyton kept saying the chicken salad ruined her life. Talk about top 10.

Yeah, that was the worst meal I've ever had in my life. That was the worst meal I've ever had in my entire life. The chicken looked like a marshmallow.

Worst, worst, worst sign of a meal is when you don't get to order. The food's just brought out. So you have no control over the situation. Yeah. Oh, we were at a sushi restaurant like chicken salad. We thought, oh, like, you know, like a nice salad. Chicken salad that was as white as that envelope.

Seriously, I feel sick. I feel sick. I feel sick. I feel so sick. It ruined my life. I feel so sick. Our friend group has like really like weird things with chicken and like that.

That chicken solidified my worst nightmare.

That food was so bad.

I feel, like, so hungry that, like, my insides have, like, bubbles in it from the poppy.

Yeah, I'm fine.

I'm so happy I'm not high right now because I could, like, eat my own hand right now. I'm so hungry.

And you want to know why?

You need to take your phone off do not disturb.

You need, it's literally the, like, having to, and also it's, like, offensive. Like, put my calls through.

Also, like, I'm not pinned in Jake's phone. It's really weird. No, it's weird. Like, I honestly think about unpinning you all the time, like, just to, like, spite you. But it's like I talk to you more than I talk to most. So, like, why would I not have you pinned?

No, you have all pins filled and not one of them is me.

Put my calls through. Do you know how annoying it is every time I have to call you to call you twice?

It's really like that.

Take us off. Put us through.

What else did we do this year?

That was the best thing that happened to me in 2024. Seriously.

We just got to play this in the camera. Like, I know everyone's already seen it.

You know, he thought it looked so cool. He literally looked like he was getting shocked with the electric thing.

He's the funniest person ever, like, besides you.

Also, like, we get super angry at him for, like, having a lot of friends. And I think it's a projection because we have no friends.

We had to teach Jake that one time.

It's true, Nolan. A friend to all is a friend to none.

You can't be loyal to everyone.

Jake used to be friends with everyone. A friend to all is a friend to none.

No.

I don't know. What are you looking for? I'm really looking forward to Miami.

I would like to go skiing this year. Should we do that?

I'd love to do that. I feel like it'd be really fun.

I feel like we should do a weekend getaway somewhere.

I don't look forward to things.

Yeah. My birthday is what's like, I think my birthday is going to be so fun.

You better have a good attitude.

Yeah.

Dry January triggers me so much. Seriously, don't even bring it up in front of me. That is my birth month and it's so offensive. Why do you try to be dry in January?

Yeah, but that's when I was born. Okay, like, it's so frustrating to me.

Every year. But then it was really fun after we graduated. And then it was, like, just okay this past year. I didn't really do anything extravagant.

We just, like, it was chill birthday. We didn't really do anything.

But this year, it's my 25th on a Friday. Like, God's setting me up.

Yeah, Ken's coming back. The whole week. She's coming for a whole week.

Yeah, ruined. Like, you know how I keep saying, like, we don't really have that many friends. It's because we lost one.

I'd like to be more, I'd have, I'd like to have a bigger presence in New York in 2025. Me too. Um, I feel my roots pulling me back that way. Um, not permanently, but more frequently.

Like, I'd like to even like have an apartment there and like be back and forth.

Like, I don't want to leave here, but like, I'd like to like be there more.

And like, LA's just like not fun. Like everything closes and it's like.

She's too good. What else? I'm trying to think of like fun memories the two of us had.

Have you ever met Cass? Yeah, duh, of course.

She's too good.

Oh, yeah. What was our biggest fight?

Okay. I'm thinking. I really.

Okay. Tell yours. Because, like, things are just leaving my mind right now.

Why did we get in a fight?

Oh, yeah. You're crazy. I know. You're so crazy.

It's weird. Like, all you want is a boyfriend.

I'm avoidant.

Yeah.

We're very similar that way.

Right, like you need someone that's going to pull you.

Sorry, I didn't mean that rudely.

That would happen to us.

I don't know which side we would be. I don't know if we would be the ones talking shit or overhearing the shit talking.

No, I don't speak another language. Actually, neither do you.

Yeah, for so long.

For so long. I can't speak a word.

Why does that happen? And I feel like it's common. Why are they failing us?

I would confront, obviously.

Yeah. I would have the friend who's like vaguely speaking Spanish like butt into the conversation.

Yeah.

Yeah. Like gagged. Like you gagged them. I think.

If not, continue to hear what they say.

Mm-hmm.

Agreed. Agreed.

It's New Year.

Maybe, why don't you text some people back right now?

Okay.

Right. Okay. I could help you if you need. Just let me know.

I'm all for you having a boyfriend.

I mean, wow, would our lives be shooken up.

Do you like think about it often?

So we should do something about it.

It needs to be someone that you don't mind like listening to.

Baby.

Let's not head into the new year lying.

Like I. You don't like listening to other people.

You are a narcissist. Yeah.

Like, I don't know why we're like talking like this is news to us. It's okay.

Yeah. You like to talk about yourself.

Love. That's actually what our friendship is built on. The foundation of our friendship is gossip. Speaking of which, my birthday is coming up, everyone. Reminder, because if I don't get birthday texts, I'm going to be super upset.

I know, and you know what? They're out. Birthday texts are out.

Because we're too old. If you don't know it's someone's birthday, you're not texting them.

And as much as I want to believe that everyone knows it's my birthday, not everyone knows.

Well, that's why people don't know it's your birthday anymore. Yeah. Don't get any ideas.

Grid.

Me.

I feel that so strongly. And, like, I know that it's not what you want to hear. But, like, if there's a pattern going on in your life...

Yes.

I want to watch that movie.

Yeah. Was it good? I mean, but yes.

Yeah. I loved it.

And Ariana.

Lindsay Lohan on this podcast would...

Why do I just know you guys would be best friends?

We actually talk about Lindsay Lohan so much.

Forever.

That is seriously the best thing. That's the best tell me what's wrong ever. I have a question. Yeah.

I've never been kicked in the vagina.

But I can imagine a 100-foot water slide and a foot going into my vagina would hurt. That definitely wouldn't feel pleasant.

My vagina, because I went down a 100-foot water slide. That would, like, happen to Peyton. Yeah.

And she'd be like, wait, it's so fine.

Like serious medical help.

Like go to the hospital. I mean, I'm assuming you did because you found out you broke your vagina.

The olive oil story changed our society.

She never misses.

Everyone sees my nipples.

Ready?

Adios, Eminem!

This sounds like my worst nightmare.

Because of the Skittle Dust?

When I was eight, I went on a family road trip with my mom, my grandma, and my grandpa. I had to pee really bad, so we stopped off at a gas station. When I was peeing, I felt a sharp pain in my butt. Turns out it was a bee underneath the toilet seat and it had stung me in the ass crack. I ran out yelling and screaming to anyone that would listen.

I ran up to my mom and she laughed at me and told me there was nothing she could do about it except put ice in it. She went to the gas station to get snacks and made me wait outside. I was sitting on the curb outside the gas station when I started feeling like I couldn't catch my breath. My throat was closing up. Choking, I went to my grandma and told her. I said I couldn't breathe.

She said I was being overdramatic and it was fine. It wasn't fine. I was having a severe allergic reaction to the bee sting in my ass crack. I had no knowledge of this bee allergy prior. Then I collapsed onto the floor and my mom ran out and called an ambulance. Literally on the verge of death, I was rushed to the hospital.

When we got there, I had to sit in the ER waiting room since there was no space. Choking, dying, fading in and out of consciousness from this stupid bee sting.

Since this bee sting in my butthole. My mom had stayed with me in the ambulance and left my grandma and grandpa to the hospital. My mom then got a call. I started panicking and projectile vomiting onto everyone in the ER next to me, all over the chairs, all over the floor. Yeah.

My mom left me there to go to the crash by myself, eight years old, sobbing, vomiting, just had an allergic reaction and people were disgusted, covered in my vomit. The nurses, worst night of my life. I now hate bees and have a hatred of bees. My grandma and grandpa recovered only for my grandma to die two weeks after that by slipping and falling down the stairs. I hate my life.

Yeah, but that's like really recent. So like really think about it. Is that really your favorite?

Okay.

Yeah, that one was really fun.

Yeah.

Nothing was wrong with Brat Summer. It cured a lot.

Brat Summer like healed us as a society, I want to say.

Yeah, we needed it.

In 2024, where I learned how lucky I am that I'm surrounded by people who genuinely make me laugh so much. Right. Because life is not as fun without laughter. It's miserable. And I think that our friends, particularly you and I, find our way out of a lot of things by laughing. Right.

Like, most things. We find our way out of by laughing. Some people don't resonate.

And I've found myself in situations where I laugh and they don't, and it's, like, a bit awkward. But I'm really lucky that, like, for the most part, like, everyone I surround myself with likes to laugh with me. And I feel really lucky.

You know what we say to Jake? And keep this in.

We tell him, Jake would rather be in a cold, bare room with nothing but a strong air conditioning and a couch.

And Wi-Fi. And a fully charged phone. Than be on like a beautiful, luxurious vacation. Surrounded by all those he loves. Nope, he'd rather be alone in the room that's cold with Wi-Fi and a phone charger.

I learned and acted on.

Yeah.

I'm really proud of you.

We could still have fun every once in a while.

I honestly really don't like weed. It never hits for me.

Like, I get so paranoid ever since that one time.

I want to make a Hyundai song.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Let those creative juices.

What else did you learn?

Oh my God. I don't drink water. I don't drink water. We don't drink water. We don't drink water. Why? Why don't we drink water?

I don't drink. This is all I've drank in today.

Really?

I don't like McDonald's. Sorry. I don't like fast food. That's the most pick me thing about me.

Yours is worse.

Yours is worse.

Yours is worse.

Because ew, what is the meat? Ew.

Who's on my side, pizza or fast food?

What, were you having a fun night? No. The opposite.

Yeah, I hope that like somehow in 2025 we can like not have this issue every fucking day.

I think like I would like soup.

Okay. Do you want to make it or get it?

That was your idea.

Okay. What is it? Pastina is like somewhere between like soup and pasta.

Better posture, better listening skills.

Okay.

I don't know.

We love you, pussies. Love you guys. My birthday's in 10 days.

it's been a while um like i was just talking about this with nolan but it's almost been a year since our first i know i know when did we do we have the date of when we filmed that first episode no we fit we fit that's when it came out but we filmed it december 5th 2023 Okay, we're not that far off. We're not that far off. It's the 11th. It is the 11th.

So it's really been a year since you started all this, Jake. Wow.

Totally. Right?

Like, I think so.

Yeah. You know, Jake started introducing himself when people say like, oh, what do you do? And Jake will be like, oh, I'm a podcaster. It's really sweet.

I've noticed it.

Well, you are.

Yeah.

our favorites of the year. But as I, as I was thinking of mine, I kept thinking to myself, like, well, we weren't going to have the same for, but that's fine, but we can kind of go as we go. Like we can go more and like off the top of our head.

Oh, I'm just, why are you guys talking about?

Everything. Yeah.

What's the best laugh we've had together this year? We've had some good ones.

Yeah. I had like some twists and turns this year. It went up for a bit. It was super low for a bit.

It also feel like it went really fast.

How are you not fucking freezing in shorts right now?

The other day, the house was so cold, and Peyton was like, Jesus Christ, like, Brett and Jake may as well just move to fucking Antarctica if they want to be that cold all the time. We do. He said, I'm uncomfortable.

I woke up with a serious stomach problem. Really? Yeah, like, I was tossing and turning in my sleep. I thought it was a dream. And I woke up and my stomach was like in knots.

Really?

And I got prescribed this other sleep medication called Trosodone. Yeah, I stopped taking that one really quickly.

It, like, made me.

Yeah, I have them in my bathroom.

Like, first of all, I looked it up after I had my bad experience. And, like, people were like, sleep paralysis 101.

Like, everyone gets sleep paralysis from it and, like, really weird dreams. I woke up with a headache that could have, like.

Yes. My head, I took it because I was having a bad night. I was like, God help me. I got to go to bed.

Yeah. I woke up with the worst.

I haven't left the house all week. I, like, have probably gotten no more than 300 steps the entire week. Like, I have a permanent imprint on the couch this week. I would like to. My boss is out of town, so I've been working from home. And, like, I have not gotten up once.

Okay. I'm honestly down for that.

We could see what kind of soup Toscana is offering today.

Okay. I would like Toscana. Okay. Quick 180 there.

Sounds delish.

I would love to go to Pache. Let's go to Pache. And Peyton's never been.

I haven't been since I went with you.

Oh, see, I was going to say salmon sounds so good.

Maybe we go split.

You can't combine.

No, I don't have socks on. Jan Perther got me socks that said, you are perfect on them.

Yap. Okay, so should we go for our end of year stuff?

Okay, so why don't we start with favorite movie?

I hate to be basic.

Like, I can't... I was wrapping my head around, like, trying to think of something else that, like, would just be, like, a little more different and, like... Of the time, but my favorite movie was Wicked. Like I can't, I can't separate myself from the art.

Right. It could be like your favorite thing you saw.

Mine was, I mean, yeah.

This couch is way more comfy. Right. So that's good for your guests because that blue couch was... That blue couch was despicable. Horrible. I mean, I tried to put it on the front, but... No, it was so bad.

Oh, you know what?

Oh yeah, you liked that.

Right.

Right.

You like like really disturbing stuff too.

I just didn't know.

I only watched the end with you.

Right. Right.

I'll tell you why I loved Wicked so much. Not only has Ariana Grande, like, shaped my year in so many ways.

To watch her, like, take that role on, like, for her to have the ability to be Ariana Grande and then she's on the screen and you're like, that's not Ariana Grande, is, like, so powerful. Yeah, she's very good at that. You know what I mean? No, like, it was just, like, she committed herself to the role, like, so beautifully.

You can't see Taylor Swift anywhere. She could be in a role and be like, that's not Taylor Swift. You know what I mean? Ariana Grande is the same. She's so recognizable as who she is in real life. The fact that by 30 minutes into the movie, I wasn't saying, oh, that's Ariana Grande. I was saying, that's Glinda. That's pretty crazy. No, she did a really good job with the role.

She's incredible. She doesn't get nominated for an Oscar. I'll be really upset.

Right. But I also... But will she be nominated as supporting? Supporting. Yeah.

They both deserve to win.

I mean... Should we stop that? When me and Jake watched that movie together, like, when she was in the sky... Oh, maybe that was my favorite movie I saw this year. Seriously, like, we looked at each other like this.

Also like for us to sit through something that long and be that gagged is insane.

It was a long weekend.

Yeah. Favorite surprise song.

Mine was the mashup. I feel sick even saying this. I know you're going to say the mashup of you're losing me and, um, and how did it end? Okay. Are you fucking kidding me?

That was ridiculous of her. Like I felt like super upset. Like those two bridges are like two of the most emotional bridges ever. Like I was sick.

Evermore. Wasn't this year. I mean, she did it again, but it didn't hit the same.

Yeah.

Like, holy fuck.

Forever, since day one.

Like you showed me Marjorie. Like you were like, let's sit down and listen to Marjorie. Like really, let's listen to it in 2020.

You know, they say that Evermore is the Capricorn of all of her albums.

I don't know. That's just like what people say.

I don't know. I saw it somewhere.

I saw a TikTok that was like, Here's every Taylor Swift album as a astrological sign, and mine was Evermore, so just thought it was relevant.

Yours was obviously Reputation.

Yeah. Yeah.

No, it's more straightforward. It's a little more straightforward. She's just saying it how it is. Which is beautiful in its own way.

But Evermore is like... Evermore, I was able... It's the twisted sister.

I'm trying to think what my favorite song of Evermore is.

Right.

I don't know what my.

Yeah. I think my favorite off of Evermore is Evermore.