Juan Denmark

You know how to get black people and Nazis together? The Trump fist, all right? I love that fucking fist. He appropriated the Nazi salute and the black power fist all in one arm motion. It was crazy, y'all. The only thing blacker than Donald Trump's fist are the list of all the people Kamala Harris locked up. I'ma be honest, y'all, I think Kamala Harris is just Hillary Clinton in blackface.

I also think that Mexicans should have been the first slaves. You know what I mean? Like, if it wasn't for sports, music, and the prison system, slavery would have been a terrible business decision. If Mexicans were the first slaves, there'd be skyscrapers in Nebraska, y'all. There'd be taco trucks on every fucking corner in America. And what if Asians were the first slaves, right?

You'd be able to fit like five times as many motherfuckers under that boat. They got the perfect fingertips for cotton picking. And what's better after a long day of your Asian slave picking cotton? A nice rubbing tug. My name's Juan Denmark.

I know, I love it, Tony. I fucking love it.

I fucking love it. This is black power privilege. It really is. It's black privilege. Black power privilege.

That's true. We are powered by the sun, Tony. That's why I'm in Texas right now.

Oh, dude. Next time, if I ever get it next time, I'll come here naked, guys.

I like to keep people confused at all times, Tony. Absolutely. You don't know what you're going to get. Are you going to get a school shooter? Are you going to get a homosexual? What are you going to get, Tony? I'm going to shoot up a gay club. Whoa!

You just seem like a cold gay guy. Honestly. Hey, listen, I'm not gay. I'm queer, all right? There's a difference.

Okay, I'll explain it to you, Mr. Mark.

Okay, listen, I will fuck a man, but only if he has a vagina. Does that make sense? No, explain it, Mark. Like, you can have a face full of beard, but you better have a torso full of vagina, goddammit.

Come to Kill Tony and see you. Okay, what's the second gayest thing you've ever done? Tony's like, fair. What's with the... Oh, I've watched two men have sex. Oh! In real life, in real life.

Yeah, I was 15 years old. What? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. Let's keep going, all right? P. Diddy party. Whoa. Close. I was walking downstairs to my basement, and I looked through the window of my basement, and my uncle was having sex with his partner, dude.

Yeah, dude. And now I'm wearing these fucking shorts on Kill Tony. Fuck, dude.

Yeah, word. He couldn't put them back on after all that butt sex.

I'm Cuban. I'm Afro-Cuban.

Yeah.

I move my hips when I fuck.

I do. It's crazy. Can we see that? You got to pay for that, Mark.

I love these niggas, man.

I go to school full-time to be a clinical psychologist.

Absolutely. What are you guys clapping for?

Really? Yeah, yeah.

Shut your mouth. Jive, Turkey. Jive, man. You look like a Tuskegee Airman. Oh, fuck. Minus the syphilis, guys. Minus the syphilis. That's one of my jokes.

I love to ride my bike. Is it your bike?

Hey, you snooze, you lose, dog. Yeah, I love to meditate. I love to meditate. I love to watch YouTube. I'm just a boring person, honestly. I just keep it cool, man.

Podcasts. Yeah, mind fucking Jordan Peterson type shit. I just like smart motherfuckers, man.

Like, what's... I mean, I'm doing this shit for free now. I didn't really pick this profession. This shit kind of picked me, so I was like, fuck, all right. Let's get paid for it now. Fuck. Yeah. Yeah, so... We never picked you.

I'm trying. I'm trying. This is the start. This is the start right here. This is where I gain my following, and then we go off into the woods in Utah somewhere. Yeah.

This guy is cool.

Fuck yeah.

It says real friend. This is my friend's merch. He told me to wear it, so fuck. I was like, I'll put it on my dick. You know what I mean? That's the best way of supporting your homies.

Yeah, yeah.

If you really love them, put them on your dick.

Yeah, Denmark is from Denmark Vessies. He's a slave revolter.

He was trying to escape.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, my goodness.

White people have freak-offs. They're called lifestyle parties. Mexican people have freak-offs, too. They're called quinceañeras. Fifteen is not a woman, Pedro. Put your dick back in your pants, Pedro. You got three more fucking years in this country, Pedro. Pedro's trying to turn a quinceañera to a quinceañera. All right? Asian people got freak-offs too, y'all. They're called sweatshops.

I'm the type of dude that brings condoms to the freak-off. I was on a date with a woman one time, and she told me that she's allergic to condoms. I told her I'm allergic to chlamydia. She said, the only way we can use a condom is if I go and get a lambskin condom. Lambskin condoms are easier to shoot through than Donald Trump's security.

Hell yeah. Make some noise for white women dating black guys.

Hell yeah.

No, no, I was born in Berlin, Germany.

Yeah. All right. I was born in, that's the death place of Adolf Hitler, if you guys didn't know that.

Oh, I know you know. We know, yeah.

I know you know.

I go to school full time to become a clinical psychologist. So if anybody needs help, come see me in a few years. Oh. That's not... If you need help. If you need help. Okay.

Oh, man. Oh, shit.

Cardinal. Oh, okay. It's my nigga in Spanish. Oh, okay. All right.

Nigga lingo.

This is my senior year now. So three years. I'll graduate this year, technically. And you're really passionate about that, huh? Oh, yeah. I served 12 years in the military. So, yeah, I know people need that. Wow. Amazing. Amazing. What branch of the military were you? Were you in the German military? No, no, I wasn't. I was in the Army. I was an Army Ranger. Okay. Unbelievable.

Absolutely incredible. Yeah, you know, we're my army. Anybody in the army in this bitch? Yeah, that's what's up. Hell yeah.

I serve raw pickle.

Listen, Tony, I got you. That's why you keep three in the stash.

Whatever anyone will pay me for

I've done 50. I just did 50 two weeks ago in Eugene, Oregon. Okay. And that went good, the whole set through? It did. I was surprised. It was my first time pushing it that far. But usually between 20 to 30 is where I'm like, I make my money for sure. So I can just fuck around with niggas like this. He's 10 minutes, Tony. This is 10 minutes. Oh, I know. I know. It's amazing. Thank you.