J.R. Martinez
Appearances
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And when you read my resume, when you read the things that I've accomplished, no one's going to pay attention to me going into that room and visiting that patient. but in the grand scheme of my life and what I've accomplished.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
But that moment was so pivotal, so big that it helped give me life and carried me and allowed me to say, hey, there's something potentially to this life that I could be living. And I just continued to just stay the course with that. And there are a lot of other things. I mean, listen, you know, there would be things, you know, small victories that I would celebrate. And then guess what?
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
Life would kick in. You know, the underlying trauma would start to resurface. I would be triggered by something. And then guess what? It would sort of be a setback. And then I would be this angry person. I wouldn't be a pleasant person to be around. And I sort of dabbled in that rollercoaster of emotions.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And it was my best friend about four and a half years after I was injured one day was like, hey, man, as a man, he's 17 years older than me. He was like, man, you need to cry. And I was like, what? I don't need to cry. My father wasn't in my life. I never... Crying was not something being Hispanic. We don't cry. We don't talk about our feelings. Right.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
There is a lot of communities that that that follow that same, you know, belief system. Right. And so and he told me, he's like, man, I love you. Like and I was like and not like, hey, man, I love you. Like out of nowhere, he'd always been telling me every time we get off the phone, he'd be like, hey, love you, man. And in person, give me a hug. Love you, man.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And I'm like, why is this dude always telling me he loves me? And then the night that I really had a breakdown, he instead of pushing me away and running away from me because it felt uncomfortable. Instead, he leaned in and he and he told me he loved me and he told me it was OK. I needed to cry. And I started crying.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And, you know, how pivotal that moment was, man, is right after that conversation. I was the first one I looked at him and and I said, hey, man, I love you. I appreciate that. Thank you. And. It's because I felt safe and I felt like I had been vulnerable and I'd been seen and and been heard and hadn't been judged. And that's unconditional love. And my life turned.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
My life changed after that, man, in a different way. Like I got involved in the entertainment industry, got into some acting and, you know, then another big opportunity presented itself. And then life just kind of took off from there.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
Yeah, thank you for that. And I think it's it's it's obvious and it's an easy narrative to follow about I'm starting over. Right. I'm starting over. And listen, you know, if we've all are aware of what's been happening in California with the fires and how people have lost, you know, in some cases lives and their homes and a lot of personal items and, um, just essentially been displaced. Right.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And, um, You know, when you look at the aftermath of all of the devastation that the fires, you know, cause, you see the structures of those homes that are burned to the ground. But you know what you still see when people are posting videos, you still see the foundation intact.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And what I mean by that is, is that there are a lot of things like the structure of the beams and the stucco, whatever your home is made of, right? All this stuff that we like to see and look at, you know, that stuff gets rocked and damaged, right? Through all the storms that we navigate in life, you know, but at the end of the day is your foundation. How is your foundation?
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
I think that's the bigger question for a lot of people. What's your foundation like? For me, my foundation was cracked. I didn't realize it was cracked. I didn't realize it had this, it was unstable. There were a lot of emotional things that I experienced in my youth that I never addressed, didn't ever lean into. Again, my mother, you know, we're Hispanic. Again, I can't express that enough.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
We don't talk about our feelings and we just kind of like hug each other, tell each other we love each other and go eat a good meal, right? Which was, it worked back then, but you can't, that's not sustainable, right?
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
So I think the biggest thing for me is changing that narrative and that mindset of like, yes, I understand it's easy to go to this place and say we're completely starting over, but you're really not because there is a foundation of things of how far you've already come. You don't realize all these experiences have created this really strong structure that you've built everything on.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
That's still there. It might need some work. But for the most part, that still is there. So you're not completely starting over. Just, it's not completely. I had to start over, but I didn't completely had to start over. I had a foundation. A lot of what prepared me to overcome what I overcame came from my youth, the good and the bad. It all was part of my foundation.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
So anyways, so with that being said, I think the biggest thing is people have to be willing to grieve. You have to be willing. It's OK. Right. It's OK. Like I was grieving. My mother was grieving. People that love me grieved as if I passed away. And yet I was in front of them, hugging them, talking to them, hanging out with them, making plans for tomorrow.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And there's a lot of men and women that never got that opportunity to do that with their loved ones. But we needed to grieve and it's OK to grieve that things have changed for us. So give yourself grace. Right. That's the first thing. I think the second thing for me is I practice a lot of gratitude. Gratitude is important. It's easy when you get caught up in this.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
this space in life when you're looking around and you're like i've lost everything i have nothing man mick is killing it i'm not on the same scale of him so clearly my life is not you know doing as well or i'm not i'm a slacker or whatever term whatever creeps into your mind you look at people on social media all day long and you're like yo this person's living their best life i should be living my best life what's wrong why am i not living the way that they're living
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And when you pause, when you pause and truly pause, not pause and look at your phone and pause and look at a computer, pause and put a podcast in. When you truly pause, disconnect from electronics, whether it's for five minutes, whether it's 10 minutes, whatever your capacity is, whatever life allots you is in that moment is practicing gratitude. What do I have? Right.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
What is in my life that is that that I should be grateful for that I do have. And because you lose those things when you're too caught up trying to compare. So practice gratitude. I think that is key. I think in that moment of silence, it's equally a great opportunity that if there are things that come to light that you're not happy with. Well, guess what?
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
I think that's an invitation for you to say, OK, what do I need to change? Right. That's what I had to learn how to do in my life is that I had to sit here in those moments of silence. I had to I realized there was a lot of emotional things that I've been carrying that I needed to heal. I needed to address. I needed to work on. And the more that I leaned in to heal those things, guess what?
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
Now my foundation is solid. Now I can go out to the world and build. But I was trying to build a home with a rocky foundation and everything that I was trying to get up, it couldn't hold it. It would just fall and it just would fail, as people would say. And so I think, you know, you equally have to be honest with yourself in those moments of silence.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
It all boils down to service. It really does. My military career was cut short due to my injury, but in the short amount of time that I was in the United States Army, I was introduced to that concept of service and really started to like understand what that really meant. And then
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And when you're practicing gratitude of what it is that you want, what isn't working, what are you feeling? And then I think for me, probably the toughest thing, I think, although sitting with yourself is really tough for a lot of people. I think we learned that during COVID, people cannot sit at home or be with themselves for five minutes. We need distraction. We live in a world of distraction.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
But I think the next thing for me, I think, is you just really can't. I'm sorry. You just really can't give a shit about what other people are thinking. There comes a point in your life where we got to stop playing this game where I'm like, I need everybody's approval. And it's like, listen, you know, it's OK for people to give their opinion. I'm fine with that.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
Give it to me in a constructive way. I'll listen to it. I'll look at it. I'll see if, you know, if there's some truth to that, some weight to that, to what you're saying. But I'm not going to walk out of my house and I'm not going to live my life every single day to sit here and try to impress other people. I'm doing what makes me happy.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And if what makes me happy is making $70,000 a year and, you know, I'm with my family and I get to do a job that I love or I get to have quality time with my family, my kids, or I get to... Cool. If it's whatever it is, right? I don't do anything. I don't operate from this place because the moment that you start...
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
you know comparison is the thief of joy and you know and so when you find yourself in this space of always trying to please and compare yourself to others you're gonna fail because now you're not even speaking from your voice you're not even acting the way you would you're trying to i'm trying to do what mick's doing or speak the way mick's speaking that's not me and mick's not me right and and
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
That's why you have your success in what you're doing. And I have my success in what I'm doing. Right. But and we can respect each other for the for what you're doing for and what I'm doing. But at the end of the day, I don't need to be like you and you don't need to be like me.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And so I think that the moment we stop trying to, you know, keep up with the Joneses, as they say, you know, and I think we just kind of live in this space of like. I'm just going to live my life. Guess what? I think things start to flow for you and things start to look a little bit differently. And so, you know, I used to care a lot and I still do. Don't get me wrong.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
It's not like I'm just dismissive of what people say and what people think. And yeah, I don't want to, you know, I want to put my best foot forward. But at the end of the day, like I'm just not going to operate from this place of where I always need to like, please, please, please. And for a long time. And I'll tell you real quick. So I've had a lot of surgeries, a lot of surgeries.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
Now, one of the things, if you look at one of the first major interviews I did, it was about eight months or so after I was injured. It was on 60 Minutes. I was on 60 Minutes. They came to the hospital, interviewed five troops. I was one of them.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
After I was injured, I was still obviously around the military community and around a lot of my friends that I met who were equally wounded and had served. The more that I learned about it and listened to other people's journeys regarding service, it just really was something that resonated with me and I fell in love with.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And when I go back and look at that interview, there's something that I say in that interview when the host, when the reporter asked me, he says, you must notice that people, when they look at you, when you're out in public, they do like a double take. He said, how does that make you feel? And I said, I do notice that. But I know why I look like this. I know what happened to me.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And that's all that matters to me. And then I go on to tell him, and the doctors have said that there's procedures that can help me get back to what I used to look like. Now, you listen to that. Now, I listened to this probably about four or five years ago when I heard that. I was like, oh, my God.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
I've had so many surgeries and part of the reason why I've had so many of those surgeries is because whether those doctors, I guarantee those doctors never said to me, we can get you looking like you used to look like before. I guarantee they wouldn't make that guarantee because it's not going to happen.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
But in my mind, my identity and the way I was embraced and accepted by people was on my looks. So in my mind, that's what I heard and that's what I needed to hear and that's what I needed to tell myself to survive. So I started, yeah, doc, can we have this surgery? Can we do this? I heard you guys talking about this procedure. Let's do that procedure. Did I need that procedure? No.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
No, but I was stuck trying to go backwards and just hold on to who I used to be instead of grieving, embracing the new JR. And so here I was just constantly delaying this growth opportunity in this process because all I was doing was looking back because in my mind, I was like, the only way I can be accepted in this society is I have to look a certain way.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And I'm at the point now, I mean, I mean, I walk out of the house and I'm like, I mean, this is what I got on. Whatever it is. I like to dress up. I like to look fly. I like to look nice. But you catch me day to day. You're going to see me at the grocery store. And I'm like, yo, that's like, look, he's looking like this. You know what I'm like? That's me. That's how I get down.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And I'm cool with that. And I just because I've let go of that pressure of needing to be this. I'm going to be me. And I've learned that people have learned to accept me and embrace me because of who I am as a person and not what I look like.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
I think that was why, for me personally and so many of my friends that have equally been injured in the military and had to medically discharge, prior to the time that they wanted to.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
Check this out, man. Like I'm, you know, I was born and raised in the South. I know you live, you know, in the South as well. And in the South, you know, and a lot of times, you know, a lot of places people say those are coincidences. In the South, you know, we would hear,
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
you know we call those god winks and uh you know there's no such thing as coincidences and i've learned to to really really lean into that and kind of like say yeah there's there's really no such thing as coincidences and so what do i mean by that um
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
So there's been, man, we can do a whole episode where I could tell you all these moments where people have said things or I've had these experience where things just kind of aligned. Right. And that's data. Right. We think we hear constantly companies, brands talk about collecting data, data, data, data, data. Everything is driven by data.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And what we have to start doing as individuals, we have to start looking at it as ourselves as brands. We ourselves are brands. We're products, right? We are the brand. And we as the brands are collecting data. We as people collect data every single day with our spouse, with our partners, with our kids, with our best friends, with our colleagues, with people in our communities.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
We're collecting data all the time. And so the more data you accrue, you start to kind of say, okay, well, this is a pattern. This thing works. Let me keep following this. Or this ain't working. Maybe there's something I need to pay attention to that pattern, right? And so it works both ways. You just got to be honest with yourself and which one are you going to be willing to do.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
I think that's why we struggle when we get into what we call civilian life, because we feel like, you know, that ability to serve, to give back, to be part of something, I think we believe it's taken away and that we're not going to be able to ultimately fulfill those things. And I think for me, I think that's the same thing that I navigated for a long time was, you know,
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
So needless to say, dancing. So somebody said to me about a year ago, they said your DNA can be changed by your environment, right? We had this conversation. And when I got off of the call with this individual, it really resonated with me. And I was like, wait a minute. Okay. I think I can rock with that. I think I understand where that's coming from.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And I said, but not only your environment, your experiences as well. Let me tell you a quick little story before I get into the dancing thing. When I was growing up in Louisiana, because that's where I was born. When I was growing up in Louisiana, my mom was dating a man at the time who played the piano in the house and he was singing Spanish love song.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
I was about five years old and Spanish was my first language. I actually didn't learn English until I went to kindergarten, although I was born in the United States. And I would sit, you know, next to him and I would watch him, you know, play the piano and sing and I'd start singing with him too. And he started noticing this.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
So he would take me down to this hole in the wall bar in Louisiana and he'd play the piano. I would sing a dance talking about heartache and heartbreak and how This girl left me and cheated on me, and I'm five years old. I don't know nothing about that. The only love I know is my mama, and she was at home. But the reason I tell that story is because that's who I was born to be.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
That's who I was born to be, that energy, to be that presence, right, in any space that I occupied. And there are these things over the course of my life that try to take that away. These experiences, right? Not only the injury, but things that I experienced in my youth and et cetera.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
Well, dancing, how that came about is in 2008, I was auditioned to become an actor on a soap opera called All My Children. I got the job and they told me it was going to be three months. That was it. And I was like, oh, three months on all my children. Like I watched all my children as a kid. Like my mom watched all my children as a kid. Like I'll take it.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And my mentality was if it's only going to be three months, I'm going to make it the best damn three months. So when I wasn't on working, guess what I did? I stayed on set. And when the other actors came up to do their scenes, I would watch them and I would study them. And I would say, oh, I like what he did. I like what she did there. I'm going to try that in my scene.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And the more that I tried and I asked a lot of questions of like how to do this better. The storyline kind of took off. People said, hey, we like him. Well, guess what? The crew kind of took notice of this. And I mean, like the producers, executives, and they were like. Let's extend you another three months. Okay, six months. Let's extend you another nine months, another year.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
I was on that show for three years. When the show finally announced that they were going to go off the air, you know, I was actually at an All My Children fan event. And... And I was sitting up on a stage. Nobody was asking me any questions, you know, because I was still like the young storyline in the show.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
Everybody was talking to Susan Lucci's and the, you know, Michael Knights and the, you know, Darnell's and all the big actors. And someone looked at me and said, you're a question. Would you ever do Dancing with the Stars? And I was like, where did that question come from? And I was like, yeah, it'd be fun. You know, just kind of laughed it off, moved on.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
Well, fast forward to 2011 when the show announced that they were going to cancel All My Children. I reached out to the executive producer. I said, hey, quick question. I keep hearing everybody talk about this dancing thing. What are your thoughts about that? And she was like, oh, my God. I think you'd be great on that show.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
So she called up the casting director of Dancing with the Stars, made an introduction. I had a meeting. And then they kind of drug me along for a while because at the time, I don't know if you knew this, but there came a point in our society where not everybody was watching soap operas. And so they weren't really popular as they used to be. and are as popular.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
You know, it was, is what's my purpose? What am I doing? Like, like why was my life spared at 19 years old, despite this horrific injury that took place? And during a lot of, uh, at the time journaling, a lot of quiet time, a lot of real deep conversations with myself and a couple of people, not as many people, but a couple.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And so they were trying to find some other talent that they could potentially, you know, cast for the season. And I guess they kind of like fellas, you know, some dead ends there. So they said, you know, well, we got this this guy, J.R., let's just call him up and see if he'll do it. So they asked me to go on the show. And I immediately said yes. And I knew it was going to change my life.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And this is why I knew it was going to change my life. And I remember crying. I remember calling my uncle and crying. And the reason why was not just because of the excitement of the opportunity. It was because... I said to him, I said, this is going to allow me to show the world who I really am. Yes, sir.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And because prior to going on this show, I had been boxed in being labeled as a disabled veteran, being labeled as a burn victim. And I the whole time was trying to scream from the mountaintops that I'm like, I'm not disabled and I'm not a victim. Like in so trying to change that narrative. And it was just really hard to get people to see that. And dancing was going to be the opportunity.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
That show was going to give me the stage to show the world that I was so much more than that. And honestly, I was never nervous. I was never sweating it. I took it one routine at a time. I'm pretty competitive, so I always challenge myself to really go all out, rehearse. But again, the reason I tell the story about the DNA is because the reason I think
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
I excelled on that show is because I just got back to my DNA. I just got back to who I was born to be, who I was when I was five years old, just to be this energy. And I just leaned into that energy and the energy in the space. And it carried me, man. And I ended up winning the freak competition, which was one thing.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
I'm going for the top. My wife is always like, you know, she's like, you know, my big supporter. She's always like, I just she's like, I don't doubt you. I don't doubt you. And it's just and I think part of that comes from when you come from where I come from and people like, you know, the same, you know, backgrounds and youth that I had.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
When you experience near-death experiences, man, it's like life is short. What am I going to sit here and worry about this or worry about that and spend time overthinking? I'm going. Let's go. And let's have fun. And whatever happens, happens. And I'll live with it as long as I'm having a good time and doing the best that I can. I can live with the results. There we go.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
Yeah, so, you know, I kind of had a little bit of that imposter syndrome, right? Even though before that was a popular term when I wrote the book, but like me, write a book? Do I, am I qualified? Am I, you know, all the questions that you fill your head with, you know, regarding that process.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And ultimately what motivated me to do it was because I really wanted people to true because I was still getting the question of how did you survive what you survived and overcome it. And I really wanted to lay it out and again, really talk about those moments that transpired in my life prior to this big event that helped shape me and condition me to prepare me for the biggest test of all.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And, um, and so I just really wanted to lay it out and I just, I leaned into it. I was pretty vulnerable. There were some things that I identified after the process that, Ooh, maybe there's things that I should, I could have been a little bit more detailed and vulnerable about. And maybe that's the second part. I don't know what I ended up doing life.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
It really got to the root of, you know what, I can use my experience and what I've learned to serve other people, to help other people. And the way I used to say this early on was, if I can pass on to an individual the things that I've learned, By man, I've learned these things by having to go through something tragic.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
You know, the fact that the response that I got, and I remember when I got a call and, you know, from the, from the agent, it was like, Hey man, you you're on the list. And I was like, what list? Like, that's how naive and just, you know, unaware I was. And I was like, what list? And he said, the New York Times bestseller list. And I was like, wow.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
Like for me, that was kind of like the ultimate, what got me into the speaking space was, Mick was back in 2000. So I was injured in 03. So it was like early 04 when I was asked to speak at an event on the military base here in San Antonio. And I remember when I spoke for about 10-ish minutes and I was so green. And I had, after I spoke, people come up to me and say that they could relate to me.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And I was like, wait a minute. And I'm looking at these people that look on the exterior, look perfectly fine. And I'm like, have you been burned before? And they're like, no. And I'm like, were you raised by a single mother? They're like, no. Both of our parents were in the family. And I'm like, so how can you relate to me?
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And the more that people explain what I realized, it wasn't the actual event that people could relate to. It was the emotion that people can connect with. The feeling, right? Like when we're all navigating what we're navigating, change, uncertainty, you know, the identity is like, you know, like all these things. We all understand those feelings.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
I don't understand the feeling of losing someone you love. Right. But I understand the feeling of losing something that I love. Right. And it's not the same, but I understand that. Oh, I know how it hurt me. So I know how you must be feeling. I can only imagine how you must be feeling, right? So it's the emotion that brings all of us together. And the book, I think, was the solidifier of that.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
when I'm getting people that are, you know, burn survivors didn't make this a New York times bestseller, you know, alone, there were a lot of burn survivors that supported me. Them alone didn't make it. The military community alone did not make this a New York times bestseller.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
There were ordinary quote unquote, ordinary people out there that purchased this book because they connected with it on some level. And that was the ultimate like solidifier of, It doesn't matter what I've been through, what you've been through. We can connect on the human level of what we felt as we navigated what we both had to equally navigate.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
Let's do it, man. I'm always here, brother. It's been a fun conversation. I think that's probably the challenge you run into from a podcasting, from a host standpoint, is you start talking to people and you're like, oh, there's so much more that we can lean into. Where do we start to unpack all the rest of this stuff? I've seen it. But yeah, listen, man, you tell me. I'm always down.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
If people feel like they want to know more, I'm down to lean in. But, you know, where people can connect with me is obviously my website, jrmartinez.com. That gives you a little bit more in-depth detail about who I am, what I'm doing, how to reach out if there's anything. Or if you just want to connect, obviously, social is a great way to do it on Instagram. I am J.R. Martinez.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
So, yeah, I just encourage if anybody takes anything away from this, you know, feel free to, you know, share with me on social and obviously tag you as well. And, you know, just I just love hearing from people and love connecting with people, man. That's what life should be about.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
But if I could pass these on these things on to people and prevent them from having to go through something tragic, but they can essentially learn these things and implement it into their life. Isn't that the goal? Right. Isn't it the goal to try to help one another to you mean that that. So for me, like, that's just my motivation, man.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
Yeah. A hundred percent, man. A hundred percent. So, but you're absolutely right. And I think if we can all sort of,
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
Move through the world as all the challenges that present, you know, in society, that if we could just all move through the world with a little bit more compassion and empathy for one another and love and understanding and patience, you know, we end up finding a bigger community than we ever thought we knew we could have.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
It's just to try to serve people as much as possible, try to learn as much as I possibly can. They say knowledge is power. And, you know, I do believe in that. However, I believe the knowledge applied is power. You can have a bunch of knowledge, right? And that's fantastic. But if you don't apply it, what's the point of having all the knowledge? Then it's just cocktail talk.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
Then you're just a person like a cocktail hour that can pretty much hold a conversation about anything with anybody. But at the end of the day, do you really understand? Are you really either living that? Are you rooted in that? Have you applied it? And so for me, it's just really been about like collecting data, knowledge, and then trying to pass that data and knowledge on to other people.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
What has worked for me, what has not worked for me. You know, I never intended, man, I never intended to be an inspiration. That was never the goal. Right. Like I was a young 19 year old. Like I didn't have the mentality of I think it was I could be wrong, but I think it was like maybe Charles Barkley was like, I'm not here to be a role model. It's not my goal to be a role model.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
I'm a basketball player, right? And I don't think my goal was ever to be an inspiration, was to be this figure. But what I started to see is that people, there was something that I was doing, something that I was saying that sort of became sort of the lifeline for people. And when I realized that pattern, it was like, okay, I don't have to force this inspiration.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
I don't have to force this motivation. I could just keep being me. And if I just keep operating from that place, clearly people rock with that. And that's, that's essentially kind of been what I've always tried to do. Now there's been things that have swayed me away, but for the most part, I try to stay solid in that.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
I appreciate that.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
You know, and I appreciate that. And just, you know, you know, just to kind of if I can pivot real quick for a second and just kind of I want your listeners to I want to challenge them. And so I want to challenge them that anytime we come in contact with military personnel, whether they're active or retired, we have a tendency to simply say thank you for your service.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And we end the conversation there. And what I would love to challenge people and I have been challenging people is to think differently.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
Instead of simply saying, thank you for your service, why don't we approach those individuals once we've learned that they've served in the military or in any capacity of serving, whether it's a first responder, anything, and just approach them and say, tell me about your service.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
Because I think when you approach it that way, then when you say thank you for your service, it ends a period. Right. And there's no follow up conversation or dialogue. If there's a tell me about your service. Now you give the microphone to somebody else and give them the opportunity to vocalize as much as they feel comfortable. They may not be a lot. It may be a lot more than you expect.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
Man, that introduction was money, man. Appreciate you so much. You know, I feel like everybody should have somebody that just like reads their quick bio or LinkedIn profile, whatever, like when they wake up in the morning. Everybody should have the opportunity to hear that because I think
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
But I think it's the reason why I think that's so important is because then it creates this intersectionality and this connection that you often don't see. And we talk about is missed too often when it comes to military to civilian personnel. So anyways, that's just that quick bit for, you know, just everybody out there. But, you know, I had like this big dream, this big goal.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
I wanted to go to college and play football. And, you know, it wasn't kind of panning out the way that I wanted. And I was kind of just going through the motions after I graduated from high school. And the military was was was my senior year of high school, just kind of like was sort of in this sphere, if you will, like.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
You would see the recruiters, you know, at the school, you know, a couple of times. You obviously passed them all the time. You went to the mall, you know, and then one of my football coaches was in the military at one point in his life. And so I just kind of heard about it. So it wasn't sort of this foreign concept. You know, I'm a first generation, you know, person.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
born in the U S like my mother's from central America. My father's from Mexico. You know, I am that story. And I am that story of immigrant parents coming here, looking for a better opportunity. And then, you know, me being born here. And I just kind of felt like, you know what, what do I want to do now? I'll not, not to draw this out too long.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
So I used to go to central America, a lot as a kid and to visit my family. And, um, You know, growing up a single mother, you know, I know I think you grew up the same way. Like my father wasn't in the picture. And, you know, it was just my mom and I. That's it.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And so needless to say, like, I remember going to El Salvador as a kid several times and just looking around and just saying to myself, like, wow, like where my family lives in Central America, it's rural. I mean, they're living on the side of a mountain. Like, I mean, it's you're going to the creek. to get drinking water, to bathe, to wash clothes and dishes.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
Like you're going to the restroom outside, like in the woods. I mean, that's how it, it's very much what we would consider third world country. And so that was a, that was a pretty rocking experience for me, but it was, Probably some of my best memories in my youth come from that time of being there, you know, for the week or two weeks that we would spend there because it was just so simple.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
Life was simple. It wasn't about, you know, electronics. It wasn't about the fast pace of going here, going there. It was about, I mean, I love coffee. And one of the reasons why I love coffee so much is because it reminds me of going to El Salvador as a kid when you woke up in the morning, not because an alarm went off, but because the roosters were like,
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And that's when you got up and then you had the smell of coffee. And then, you know, my grandmother and my uncle and aunt and my mom would be sitting on the porch and sipping coffee, straight up black coffee, because to get milk, that was a luxury. And I was like, can I have a small cup of coffee? And I'd sit there and drink my little black coffee with them.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And it was just something that just meant so much to me. But what that did is that gave me perspective. Because growing up in the United States, I was at that point in my life as a teenager that I was comparing what I had to what my peers had. And I didn't have a lot. My mom made no more than $40,000 a year. I mean, we barely had enough to get by.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
In the world we live in, man, it's just so fast paced and there's so many things that are happening and changing constantly from our profession to our families, to our feelings, to just everything that we don't have an opportunity. We really don't give ourselves time to sit back and reflect and appreciate the journey.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
But I started to look at it and say, you know what? This country is giving me freedom. This country is giving me the opportunity to... go to school. If I want to go grab a burger down the block, guess what? My mom could give me five bucks to go to Mickey D's and grab a meal, right? I mean, I still had a lot of freedom and a lot of beautiful things that I needed to learn to appreciate.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
So when 9-11 took place, I was a senior in high school. And I think a lot of people all over the world were confused and scared and I was one of those, but equally I thought to myself after graduating from high school when I was like, what do I want to do? I looked at the military because I was like, you know what? That's an opportunity for me to give back.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
That's an opportunity for me to travel the world, for me to get some experience. I grew up in small towns, man. I think there was some root as well where I was like, let me get out of these small towns a little bit. Let me get out into the world and see what the world has to offer. But that was essentially like the driving force, the motivation behind it all.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And when I initially joined, it was only supposed to be three years. And then soon into my deployment, I started recalibrating that thought process and thinking I may want to do this for a longer period of time. And then, of course, life decided to interject and said, nah, not yet. Now we're not going to do this. I'm going to go a different route.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
Yeah. So, you know, on the 5th of April of 2003, I was driving a Humvee in Iraq when my front left tire ran over a roadside bomb and, you know, immediately was trapped aside, was engulfed in flames and, you know, completely conscious in and out of consciousness for five minutes. And once I was pulled out, started the medevac process and I ended up in San Antonio, Texas.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
There's a big burn center for the military there. And That's where I recovered. And I just remember, you know, 19 years old, coming out of my medical induced coma and just kind of like, man, what? Like, what is going on? Where am I? What happened? And I think the biggest blow at the time, the biggest challenge was, yes, the injury, of course.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
But the reality that I was not going to be allowed to stay in the army, that I was not going to be allowed to go back to Iraq and finish my deployment with my unit. Um, that was the thing that really weighed on me. And, and yeah, man, I mean, to say that I fell into a very dark space, I think it would be somewhat of an understatement, right?
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
So when you were saying what you were saying, I was like, just kind of had a moment of like, just like nostalgia reflecting and just thinking about like, I guess he's talking about me. That's me. I've done those things. That's fine.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
Like I was, uh, incredibly angry, you know, at life, at people resentful, um, you know, and you know, that was my grieving process. And even though I tell people like I was alive, yes, my life was spared, but I still had to grieve. And I think that's something that we don't give ourselves enough ability and space to do is to grieve. And everything that we do, we have identities, right?
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And our physical is part of our identity. And when suddenly I looked in the mirror and that was not there, I didn't recognize the individual based on the burns and, you know, the third degree burns to my face, body, hands. I mean, you name it. In my mind, I was like, I'm a different person. And so I had to grieve the loss of the old me, what I look like.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And what I thought I was going to do with my life and the loss of all of that and now try to embrace this new look and this new world and this new possibility that existed, which honestly, I didn't even know what possibility there was, besides the fact that I was just going to be put out into the world.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
So it was a very difficult period for me, but I'll tell you the thing that really changed my life. There were a lot of these cool little moments over the course of my life. And six months after I was asked to visit a patient who was having a difficult time recovering, um, essentially accepting the new norm, right? For him, right? The, the, the, and, and embracing what has transpired in his life.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And I was asked to visit him and I was 20 at the time. And I was like, no way. And, um, They were like, why not? And I was like, cause I'm 20. What am I going to say? Like I'm 20. And so finally I just decided, Hey, I'm just going to jump in there, see what's up. And I went into the room and I ended up, it was really uncomfortable when I walked into the room and it, it, it felt heavy.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
You could feel the, the, the, the weight in the room. And I still approached that individual's bed and of having a conversation with them for about 45 minutes. And then when I walked out of that room, sort of a light bulb went off. And instead of ignoring that feeling of, wait, I did something that was that felt really difficult, really hard. And I leaned in and had a great experience.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And what I did with that information is I was like, I'm just going to start visiting patients every day. So I started visiting patients every single day at the hospital while I was recovering. And what that did is that gave me my sense of purpose back. That gave me a little bit of that identity that I started to create for myself in the military. It gave that back to me.
Mick Unplugged
Journey of Resilience: J.R. Martinez on Embracing Change and Inspiring Millions
And that, you know, I always talk about like, you know, my daughter's 12. She plays select softball. I've been coaching her now for about four years. And, you know, and that's what I talk about with the girls of the team. I'm like, got to be willing. You got to look at celebrating the small victories. Right. Because they may be small in the scope of your life. Right.