Joseph Paul Alampi

What do you think the best joke that you... Well, I just have stories or whatever, like cat piss girl. What does that mean? So cat piss girl, I didn't have sex. I still haven't sex. Right now I haven't sex. So I didn't have sex for like two years, and I moved to Tampa. Uh-huh. And so I was talking to this girl outside for like a half hour and I believe she was intoxicated. Joseph, keep going.

What do you think the best joke that you... Well, I just have stories or whatever, like cat piss girl. What does that mean? So cat piss girl, I didn't have sex. I still haven't sex. Right now I haven't sex. So I didn't have sex for like two years, and I moved to Tampa. Uh-huh. And so I was talking to this girl outside for like a half hour and I believe she was intoxicated. Joseph, keep going.

Okay, sorry.

Okay, sorry.

So we went up to her room to fuck. She starts blowing me. Except the smell of ammonia made my dick go soft. And that was it. That was your go-to?

So we went up to her room to fuck. She starts blowing me. Except the smell of ammonia made my dick go soft. And that was it. That was your go-to?

You're not really 50, are you? Huh? I'm sorry? Are you really 50? You drink lots of water, listen to your grandmother, eat your vegetables. But you've got huge, full lips. That's another one. Yeah, I was made fun of for having huge lips as a kid.

You're not really 50, are you? Huh? I'm sorry? Are you really 50? You drink lots of water, listen to your grandmother, eat your vegetables. But you've got huge, full lips. That's another one. Yeah, I was made fun of for having huge lips as a kid.

I was a security guard. I was a personal trainer, a Tai Chi instructor. I think Red Band would benefit from me, if you want to know. How? Personal trainer? Is that what you're implying? No, Moo Moo. I would love to train Red Band and help them out. Okay. Whatever. Jesus, Joseph. God damn.

I was a security guard. I was a personal trainer, a Tai Chi instructor. I think Red Band would benefit from me, if you want to know. How? Personal trainer? Is that what you're implying? No, Moo Moo. I would love to train Red Band and help them out. Okay. Whatever. Jesus, Joseph. God damn.

Well, you don't want to hear how I got electrocuted?

Well, you don't want to hear how I got electrocuted?

So I used... So I used to play outside of a deli. And they didn't ground the ice box, the ice machine. So I put my hand on the one pole and the other pole. That's it. And then I did it again. That's the story of you getting electrocuted. This is the hardest. Yeah, go ahead. Fucking fuck me.

So I used... So I used to play outside of a deli. And they didn't ground the ice box, the ice machine. So I put my hand on the one pole and the other pole. That's it. And then I did it again. That's the story of you getting electrocuted. This is the hardest. Yeah, go ahead. Fucking fuck me.

What about your big fucking blowjob lips? Did they ever make fun of your big blowjob lips? You have beautiful emerald eyes.

What about your big fucking blowjob lips? Did they ever make fun of your big blowjob lips? You have beautiful emerald eyes.

No, I said emerald eyes. I was going to do it as Mary, but you don't want to. Okay, shut the fuck up.

No, I said emerald eyes. I was going to do it as Mary, but you don't want to. Okay, shut the fuck up.

If a tree falls in the woods, does it make a sound if nobody's there? If I say the N-word in the woods, do ninjas start to fall out of the sky? Because, you know, whatever the fuck. Nothing makes any sense with you.

If a tree falls in the woods, does it make a sound if nobody's there? If I say the N-word in the woods, do ninjas start to fall out of the sky? Because, you know, whatever the fuck. Nothing makes any sense with you.

I would exterminate those bugs like I was in the party in the 1940s. For room and board, of course. That's a callback. Okay. Let's give it a round of applause for Mary. Everybody, Mary! Mary! Mary! Oh, hi there. Oh my God. This is a different sort of ship. Holy fuck, this guy. I'm Mary. Sometimes the aliens talk to me in my sleep or when I'm awake, et cetera, et cetera.

I would exterminate those bugs like I was in the party in the 1940s. For room and board, of course. That's a callback. Okay. Let's give it a round of applause for Mary. Everybody, Mary! Mary! Mary! Oh, hi there. Oh my God. This is a different sort of ship. Holy fuck, this guy. I'm Mary. Sometimes the aliens talk to me in my sleep or when I'm awake, et cetera, et cetera.

And I'm all out of fucking tin foil. Wait, go back on the X. Where's the X? I don't know, is the X in my head? Did I take any X? Stop taking X, because I think it's like in the psychic sphere or something. My grandson was also electrocuted. I was electrocuted. I'll break the fifth wall. I love you, Tony.

And I'm all out of fucking tin foil. Wait, go back on the X. Where's the X? I don't know, is the X in my head? Did I take any X? Stop taking X, because I think it's like in the psychic sphere or something. My grandson was also electrocuted. I was electrocuted. I'll break the fifth wall. I love you, Tony.

What do you think the best joke that you... Well, I just have stories or whatever, like cat piss girl. What does that mean? So cat piss girl, I didn't have sex. I still haven't sex. Right now I haven't sex. So I didn't have sex for like two years, and I moved to Tampa. Uh-huh. And so I was talking to this girl outside for like a half hour and I believe she was intoxicated. Joseph, keep going.

Okay, sorry.

So we went up to her room to fuck. She starts blowing me. Except the smell of ammonia made my dick go soft. And that was it. That was your go-to?

You're not really 50, are you? Huh? I'm sorry? Are you really 50? You drink lots of water, listen to your grandmother, eat your vegetables. But you've got huge, full lips. That's another one. Yeah, I was made fun of for having huge lips as a kid.

I was a security guard. I was a personal trainer, a Tai Chi instructor. I think Red Band would benefit from me, if you want to know. How? Personal trainer? Is that what you're implying? No, Moo Moo. I would love to train Red Band and help them out. Okay. Whatever. Jesus, Joseph. God damn.

Well, you don't want to hear how I got electrocuted?

So I used... So I used to play outside of a deli. And they didn't ground the ice box, the ice machine. So I put my hand on the one pole and the other pole. That's it. And then I did it again. That's the story of you getting electrocuted. This is the hardest. Yeah, go ahead. Fucking fuck me.

What about your big fucking blowjob lips? Did they ever make fun of your big blowjob lips? You have beautiful emerald eyes.

No, I said emerald eyes. I was going to do it as Mary, but you don't want to. Okay, shut the fuck up.

If a tree falls in the woods, does it make a sound if nobody's there? If I say the N-word in the woods, do ninjas start to fall out of the sky? Because, you know, whatever the fuck. Nothing makes any sense with you.

I would exterminate those bugs like I was in the party in the 1940s. For room and board, of course. That's a callback. Okay. Let's give it a round of applause for Mary. Everybody, Mary! Mary! Mary! Oh, hi there. Oh my God. This is a different sort of ship. Holy fuck, this guy. I'm Mary. Sometimes the aliens talk to me in my sleep or when I'm awake, et cetera, et cetera.

And I'm all out of fucking tin foil. Wait, go back on the X. Where's the X? I don't know, is the X in my head? Did I take any X? Stop taking X, because I think it's like in the psychic sphere or something. My grandson was also electrocuted. I was electrocuted. I'll break the fifth wall. I love you, Tony.