Jorm
Appearances
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Doogie Howser Theme
And you were talking to the screen. Yeah. I'm so sorry we let you down, brother. Fuck off! Damn, brother.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Doogie Howser Theme
Come on, man. Go to bed, man. We're trying to work here. Are you fucking for real? Is this guy serious? We got to get this shot. We're trying to get this done.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Doogie Howser Theme
Oh, you know what? Don't laugh at me, Seth. I'm a good man. This will happen to you one day. It happens to everyone.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Doogie Howser Theme
Everything better be better. Klein, Klein, if you're listening, we fucking did it, baby. We fucking shamed Seth. He's such a piece of shit. We're better than him. Fuck him and we're good.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
He loved having you guys in. Remember he would be like, it's the four. Remember when Lorne tried to make the four you a thing? Yeah. He was like, four bros. He'd be like, I'm the lost member. Oh, with him. Yeah. He'd be like, all right, four bros, unite.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
And gin. Whoa. Four bros. It's like, oh, my God. Everybody's probably wondering what the four bros are up to.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
It would be awesome if Andy had been on Celebrity Jeopardy and buzzed in at one point and said, who is the guy from when Ben Stein's money?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
We could have that. It would have been a real memeable moment.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Who hosted When Ben Signs My... This episode of the Lonely Island Podcast is brought to you by our friends at Maker's Mark. And I'm with some of my friends right now. Hi, guys. Hello. Hi. You know, Margie Samuels was a spirited woman. She was also the co-founder of Maker's Mark. I don't have to tell you guys this stuff.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
All right. Well, in honor of Women's History Month, we wanted to toast some of the spirited women in our lives. That was my idea, actually. These guys were thinking about not doing it.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Yeah. You are in many ways as trailblazing as Margie Samuels-Yorm. And I often said that.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Way to land the plane, buddy. Thank you. Thank you so much. I want to tell a story about a spirit of woman I saw during the 50th. And I was a little bit lucky because I was there on Friday for some rehearsal action. And I got to watch the Close Encounters rehearsal with Kate McKinnon. And I feel it's the most I've ever watched an actor's process. Guys, I'm going to wrap this up.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
I was really excited about it. The most exciting thing about when Jorm starts a story is how little you can predict what he's about to say. When Jorm is explaining a vest, he said, could I just say, when I was in fourth grade, you're like, what?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
You too can celebrate the spirit of women in your life with a free personalized label to go with a bottle of Maker's Mark. Head to makersmarkpersonalized.com and fill in the details in order to create and mail your custom label. Don't forget to grab a bottle of Maker's Mark to go with it. Maker's Mark makes their bourbon carefully.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Support for the Lonely Island Seth Meyers podcast comes from Airbnb. Hey, everybody. Obviously, this podcast is about four friends hanging out, talking about old times. And all four of us are parents. And sometimes we go on vacations with our kids. I just recently took a trip with my kids. And they're very loud.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
And I want them to have the freedom to be the children they are and not always be shushing them because we are in a hotel. And that was one of the many benefits of taking our spring break in an Airbnb. You can hang out.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
in a living room not in a hotel lobby and you know what I kind of feel like a meal is better shared around a table than a bed I feel like eating in a bed is a sign that things aren't going great so it was fantastic we had a great time they did not wake us up early because they had their own rooms and it was just so much better and maybe you're someone who's thinking you know what
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
My home could be a great get-together for old friends who are not looking to meet new people. You've put a lot of time, effort, and work into your home, and someone out there would probably love to experience it while they're traveling, and then they would rave about how it was the highlight of their trip. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com slash host.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Hey, real quick, I just want to pop through because I really loved the Malkovich episode. Fantastic monologue. It was a very Christmassy show, the monologue written by Tucker and Lutz. Do you remember it was just John Malkovich sitting at home base surrounded by actual kids reading Twas the Night Before Christmas and just pausing for a lot of Malkovichian takes on the poem? Yes, yes, yes.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Andy, have you noticed that I'm wearing a long-sleeve white T-shirt? Oh, it got sent.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
And at one point he says, went out on the lawn, there rose a tree.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
And then it just cuts the kids. He says, well, it's true. It's just real. A lot of really nice moves in the body of that. He also at one point pauses and says, now who's in the mood for a treat? He holds out a bowl and says, I have a whole bowl of Hall's mentholiptus. Anyone? Mentholiptus? Anyone? No. And then he adds, when I was a child, we used to suck on pennies.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
great good good uh then there's a gas right i kind of forgot do you remember the gas right parody which was fred's take on the breathe right no strips oh that one's really good is it the butt spreading it's holding your buttocks yeah it pulls your buttocks apart so you don't loudly pass gas oh it's such a good what a good invention yeah
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
It's great because the beginning, before he shows the product, he's in bed with Wig and he loudly farts and it wakes her up. And then he shows how it pulls the buttocks apart so that it's quiet. But then the last scene is him in bed and there's no sound. But then she still wakes up and goes, oh, what's that smell? Because it doesn't stop you from farting. He's like, we'll never know.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
We were talking about sweetness earlier. One of my favorite sweet sketches of all time. Andy, you were in this sketch. The sketch is called Calculator. No memory. Calculator begins. There's a Christmas tree. Bill is a dad. Casey Wilson is a mom. You are their son. You're so excited. It's almost midnight at Christmas Eve and you get an open presents. You all look very modern.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Yeah, Jorm made me a shirt. Oh, there it goes. I am a turbot. I am turbo. So Jorm came through and did make me a turbo white t-shirt. Not what I expected.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
And then they say, where are the twins? And you say they'll be down any second. And then Fred and Malkovich enter as twins, matching sweaters, curly black hair. And they're so excited because all they want for Christmas is a calculator. But don't they have, like, thick New York accents? They have thick.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Also, they're your younger brothers. They look three times your age. No one else in the scene has an accent.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
The entirety of the sketch is them being excited about calculators and how they're going to add up a bunch of numbers.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
It is such a wonderful performance. They match each other's energy. And it's a lot like, I'm going to add up so many numbers, it's going to be 50 places past the decimal point. And again, you keep thinking it's a sketch that's taking place in the 70s. And then you say, why don't you just use the calculator on your phone? And they yell, shut up, Glenn. Nobody asked you, Glenn.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
And then just the sketches, they get the calculator and they're just really happy and they add up a bunch of numbers and then the two of them in unison go, whoa! They're just so happy. But anyway, I reached out to Fred because it is one of, it's a very like uniquely Fred sketch where there's sort of no conflict and it's just lovely and it's a small observation.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
So I asked Fred where he got the idea of calculator and he sent in this voice note.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Oh, no. Jorm maybe has frog poisoned again since we last- I did.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Do you remember nine-year-old advice from the update desk, Andy? No. That was you as David Rasmussen. This was the story in the news that made you and Tucker write a sketch. A nine-year-old boy named Alec Graven has just authored a book called How to Talk to Girls. Here to comment is another kid author who's just written a competing book called A Kid's Guide to Talking to Girls.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Here's nine-year-old David Rasmussen. Still don't remember it. David kind of comes out and is very cute, and Amy is very taken with his precociousness. And then his early advice, you know, oh, yeah, it's super easy for me to talk to girls. You just have to have confidence, a smile, and be willing to share your snack once in a while.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
And Amy's like, well, that's really good advice for a guy of any age. And it's really nice advice. And then it takes a turn.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
And then Amy's less psyched to be talking to a nine-year-old.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
And another thing, Amy, girls love, again, nine years old. And another thing, Amy, girls love cocaine.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Especially white girls. It makes them crazy. But be careful because it can get exhausting. Ladies, you're going to wear me out. I'm nine years old. The only balls I've dropped are in the outfield.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Oh, there's a very nice move at the end, too, because she says she's very upset and she's going to tell your parents and you start to cry. And then she has sympathy and says, I won't tell your parents. And then you immediately stop crying and say, and don't be afraid to cry. Girls love it. So you play in polar, too. Play in her. Could never happen in real life. Too savvy.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Oh, right. Everybody, Jorm's going to dinner. And the next podcast, he's going to let us know how the vest played. How many people are going to be at the dinner, Jorm?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Well, you do us and the listeners of the pod a solid. Yeah. At some point, if it's appropriate, do a quick straw poll from the people at the dinner and get their take on where they stand on the vest. Yeah, absolutely. I'll get Scott to weigh in.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
But I thought you'd already done that. So I feel like this is a bad review of your first Bufo, that you still had all this trauma left.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
I have not seen it recently, but when I watched it, it brings me pleasure to watch us in that era.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
They sort of made a choice of which sketch to follow based on the table, which was this Empire Carpet sketch where John Malkovich played a guy who was in a recording booth auditioning to play the 5-8-8, that voiceover. And it played really hard at the table and then it died at dress.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
But it was very interesting that a documentary crew went to table and thought they had picked the one that was a lock to make it all the way to air and got it wrong.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Yeah, I mean, Fred was the Empire carpet guy, and Will was sort of a sound engineer, and every time Malkovich would finish, Fred would give a little negative head shake, and then Forte would scream, Again!
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Oh, we left Bufo out. Well, then I apologize.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
And Malkovich sort of has a breakdown because he doesn't know what the Empire Carpet guy wants. And then Fred tells a long story about how the Empire Carpet business began, which is very dark beginnings. And it was a real sketch for comedy writers. And that's one of the reasons it played so hot on Wednesday. But then just fundamentally did not get traction. Dress. So it didn't air. It did not air.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Yoram's been licking frogs for their poison.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
It makes for a better documentary because you sort of see the moment where they're finding out it doesn't make it. And it just makes for better television.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
I also, oh, no, Jorm's not here. Can somebody do a quick Seth's Corner?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
So anyway, here's what we're getting. Yorm made me a Turbo White t-shirt. I just kind of assumed the t-shirt would say I'm a Turbo White. But of course, this is a Yorm shirt. So it says, I am Turbo, spelled like the fish.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
100%. I'm pretty sure that I came up with Jacuzzi while people were pitching around on Monday and I was just going through all of John Malkovich's movies in my head and then thought about Dangerous Liaisons and then basically pitched Dangerous Liaisons but in a hot tub and it's called Jacuzzi. It's immediately very fun. Andy, were you in it or were you not in it?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
You were in it. No! By the way, that means you were in a hot tub. You were in a hot tub having a sword fight with John Malkovich, and your career is so rich with experience, you do not remember that.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Not even that. It's just like you're just detached from reality. And Malkovich kept complaining to Lorne. He's like, I feel as though my scene partner in Jacuzzi is elsewhere.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
He keeps muttering about jizz. Can I do a Malkovich?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
But hater does Malkovich in front of Malkovich is Vinny Vadecchi. It's really fun. It's amazing, yeah. I can be John Malkovich. I'm sorry.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
What a favorite moment I forgot. Bobby shows up as Vinny's son and is a really funny Italian kid. And this is the beginnings of seeing like, oh, there's so many things that Bobby Moynihan is going to be great on at the show. But at the very end, Vinny says, sorry, we've run long. Apologies to Chef Boyardees.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
And it cuts to you and Kenan as like Chef Boyardees, but with like Flava Flav clocks around your neck.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Oh, no, I was talking about you. I also have a part in Vinny Vadeci. I'm sorry. That's okay.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Yeah, you should. It's a good season.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
And then the back just says Blanco.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
All right, I feel like this is a story I've told. But Malkovich, there was also a sketch called the... The Lost Works of Judy Blume, and Malkovich played a girl named Gertie in an unreleased Judy Blume book, and he was sort of wearing sort of a lavender turtleneck and purple overalls.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Looked very, like, 80s Judy Blume-y, and he really liked the outfit, so he just sort of hung out in it all Friday during rehearsal and all the sketches.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
And I was talking to him backstage. I was just in the hallway with him. We were talking about Jacuzzi and he had been so good at performing it like he had in the movie, except in a hot tub. Yes. You know, at the table. And I said, when was the last time you've seen it? And he said, I believe I saw it at the premiere and I've not seen it since. Yeah, that's right. And so I was like,
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Oh, so your memory of it is enough that you can do it just like that. And he says, if you think it was accurate to the original, then I suppose you're right. And he said that thing. This is a good Malkovich. I'm getting into the. I'll never forget. He goes, last night I was waiting to meet a friend for dinner and they were running late.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
And to pass the time, I tried to think of every movie I'd ever been in. And the 58th movie I thought of was being John Malkovich.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
holy shit and i like that he did not tell it to me like this is a joke but he did think that's fascinating yeah yeah maybe he was going in chronological order i don't think so because even he was like how crazy is that yeah you think that's like one or two that would be like if ben stein tried to come up with everything he'd been in and here it comes
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
All right, on the count of three, everybody say theirs. One, two, three. Con Air. Oh, wow. I can't believe we're both Con Air. Mine's In the Line of Fire.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
I think of that in the line of fire scene all the time where he makes a little gun.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
He's by a fishing hole or something and people come over and ask him about it and then he just kills them both.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
All right. So, hey, we have some audio messages. Oh, why don't we hear some of those from Quaid Army?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
I don't want either version of the shirt, Joram.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
But- Accurate. But I will- I will say. But even just the style, like you've known me 20 years. Have I ever worn a long sleeve white t-shirt?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Very nice. What a great story. Thank you for sharing that. Amazing. I remember hanging with them, of course.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Yeah. Also, a quick update. I don't know if you're here for this, Keev, to listen, because obviously we're very excited about this idea of how enthusiastic Doritos is to watch the ad. Yeah. But I guess somebody from the year it actually happened, who is retired, raced out of retirement to call and say, don't watch it! Is that true?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
I think there's a little bit of... I think they went back in the records and kind of found out that it was... Yeah, and he's like, no, they're not lying.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Wait, really? Yeah. I mean, it struck me that somebody from legal at Doritos back then said, we watched it. It's abysmal. Do not engage with the Dorito commercial.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
That makes sense. I think it's a little bit like somebody who works in that warehouse where they put the Ark of the Covenant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't open it! Like a new guy working there being like, we should open up the old boxes. I think to them, the Doritos ad is everyone's critic painting.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
It's not leather. It's not leather.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
That's more than a narrative. Sounds like more of an opinion.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
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The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
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The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
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The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Oh, it's so nice. So lovely. That's very nice. Nice to hear from you.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Even if they asked, I would not do a third digital short because I kind of like the way Cuado played it, which was just two and done. It's the classy way. Hey, I was reading through the YouTube comments about Jizz in My Pants, and they were all really nice, and they're very creative. I think our listeners have a nice sense of humor. The last two I was a little curious about.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
I thought they might be bots, and I'm going to read you what they said, and you tell me. First of all, the photos were incredibly beautiful women. Okay. Like headshot ladies. And the first one was, continue to delight your viewers with interesting content. Your videos add variety to the online world. Oh.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
What a wonderful thing for our listeners to hear on episode 53 that Yorm's dad's name is Tony Taccone.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
And then the next beautiful woman said, thank you for this amazing compilation. I appreciate your time and efforts that you put into compiling this video. It's very inspiring.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
I am a little worried by the complete lack of specifics.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
I see. I think we should engage. I think you entered late, Keith. We were talking about the fact that this podcast got nominated for a Webby.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Andy said it like he's bummed that this isn't Oscar nominated.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Sorry to keep making it about New York Times word games before we go to our next audio message. The clue to five across in the Sunday, March 30th, New York Times crossword puzzle was style of hip hop. The answer was four letters long. I solved the last three letters, R-A-P, and was praying, praying that the first letter was F as in crap. But it ended up being trap. It was trap. All right.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Well, it's like the final puzzle piece clicking into place. Like, all of a sudden, all of your behavior is explained by the fact that your dad is a theater director named Tony Taccone.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
I remember that. What was the joke?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
So it was the Metro, the Metro PCS store by the Pontiac Silverdome.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
And what was it? I mean, hard to remember. What was the average amount of people that would show up there?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
It's very sweet of you to do that. Somebody said this was a story about grease and palms at the Lonely Island show.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
You have my attention. My best friend, JP, and I wanted to share a story about going to the Lonely Island show in 2019. We got tickets to see y'all in D.C. for my birthday. The show was incredible. Keeve came out clearly exhausted, took photos for us. They attached the photos, Keeve, to verify that you were nice enough to take pictures of them.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
And afterwards, we got chatting with your roadie, who was an absolute delight. Can't remember his name, sadly. And slipped him some cash, palm greasing, to get our poster signed by Jorm and Andy. Honestly, it was just enough cash for him to ship our posters back to us, which he did.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
So that's pretty amazing. But, like, to give a roadie money, can you get these signed? And also the money is for you to ship them to us.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
That's what I mean. You obviously had a good staff. Somebody else wrote, I work part-time at the National Portrait Gallery in Washington, D.C. Do you know where this is going? No. I work part-time at the National Portrait Gallery in Washington, D.C. currently, and ever since watching Ross Trent, I cannot stop muttering to myself, me toil part-time at Ja Portrait Gallery. Yeah.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Well, I thought part-time, and the fact that Portugal had the same amount of syllables as Stone Cold Team. Part-time. Look, it was a big ask, especially considering, like, five minutes ago, I was like, do you remember being in a hot tub with John Malkovich? And you're like, no.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Yeah, like incredible recollection. I mean, Yorm's recollection is so much when you're like, why do you have that vest? He's like, in fourth grade, I was walking down the street like just crazy. Crazy recall. Yep. When I say crazy recall, what does it make you think of?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
So at least that, we're on the same page there. For sure. Can we now... I also... Again, I know we've talked about Cuado, but I just made the mistake of re-watching it again today. It's so funny that, like, it's only one. Jamie Presley is the only one who's, like, new to Cuado, and everybody else has seen Cuado before. Yeah. And she's like, why is he calling everybody Quades?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
And Seneca's like, oh, that was Arnold Schwarzenegger's character's name in Total Recall. Yeah. Yeah, we had to explain it. It's, like, very matter-of-fact.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Very affirming. MARK MANDELMANN, Right until greetings from Germany, I had a real hope that was Bjork. MARK MANDELMANN, Oh, my god.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
I'll tell you, it's not really important where it's from because it was from the heart.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
All right. What is our next voice note?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
MARK MANDELMAN- Really nice question. I like it.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
But the response proves that that would not have mattered.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Do any of your spouses call you by your first name? Like, I don't think anybody in my house says Seth.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
But again, I thought that was a very good question. Begriche. Also, I just got a text from Jorm. People are fucking laying into him over the vest. He says the dinner's going super bad.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
He's like, there's all these writers, and they're coming up with really witty ways to tell me my vest sucks. Should never have left the pod early.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Yeah. I don't know, man. I've still got to queue up these. Yeah, I'll ask him for some of the specific burns.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Okay, let's hear another voice note.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
love it I don't I know I mean I think I will say I remember we did those wraparounds for the best of Mike Myers the week after the season finale and so it was a weird extra week in the office because I wrote on that as well but it felt like floating because it was so much easier obviously than working on an SNL just writing wraparounds and Mike Myers means and continues to mean a great deal to me so that was right but I have no memory of that
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
No, of course, but I don't think my kids hear Seth enough to, like, use it.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Shit, somebody told, I guess Yoram said as soon as he walked in, somebody said, I think you should sleeve. And then somebody else said, I hope they rip up the Constitution because this guy doesn't have the right to bear arms. Jesus, these are great. These are really good. I mean, they're writers, you know, so he's obviously.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Yeah, I know. By the way, the fact that Yorm dropped Scott, Frank's name, who we all know, and he's an incredible screenwriter. I've never met him. You've never met him? Scott's wonderful. Scott did Queen's Gambit.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
All right. Let's hear another voice note.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
We've babed before. Babe, babe. I would say we've transitioned out of babe to just like, hey.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Let's hear one more. Oh, fuck. I guess somebody said, howdy, sheriff, to Yorm.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Yeah. And then he said, how come they said that? He goes, why are you calling me sheriff? And I was like, oh, because I don't know. I just assumed it was an old west because you're wearing a fucking vest. Yeah. That one's not. That one's not. That was clever, but certainly cutting. It was the guy that wrote the brutal list. It was brutal. He said, oh, howdy, sheriff.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
While we're talking about kids being funny, my wife just had her birthday. She's born on April 1st. So she's an April Fool's baby. And Axel, who's about to be seven, had this idea. He's wanted to do it for a long time. Did not give it away. He made her a card. In his own handwriting, he wrote on the front, when is your birthday, question mark. And then she opened it, and it said April Fool's.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
It's kind of nice, yeah. It's kind of nice because everybody, when they're like, it's been a rough couple years, I think we're all like, amen. Yeah.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
All right. I think maybe we have time for one more.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Oh, by the way, I got a letter in the mail, and the letter was from, the outside of the envelope said it was from Virginia Horson's Pony Express. And it's, if you can see it, it's like cut out, like ransom note style.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
And it says, put Virginia Horson in criterion or else. Yeah. All right, we're going to play now. Our friend Mike Schur, you remember him from the Criterion episode collection. He recorded a voice note, and I think his idea was we should just get a lot of people to watch Space Olympics for the first time and then just immediately record their reaction to it.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
That's really good. That's good. It's genuinely a great joke that's not obvious.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Thanks, Mike. I hate to wrap this up. I just got a text from Yoram. I guess this group pinned him down, cut off his pant legs, and then hot glue gunned it to his vet. And so this is an abrupt ending. We'll be back next. Cookies. I have no memory of cookies. Looking forward to watching that from the Hugh Laurie show.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
And then we're going to probably roll it up with Neil Patrick Harris, Doogie Howser theme. That seems like a nice pairing. I love you guys.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
I think that you wanting to make that into a birthday card is the same way that you wanted to make me this I am a Turbot shirt.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
As we established last episode, Yoram, you've been on fire recently. Yet, I will say that I feel like the confidence of your recent hit podcast have maybe led you to make a sartorial error. No. You showed up to the pod in a vest, and it's a loud vest.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Did you see it, Keith? It looks good. I think Blanco or Turbot should now be my spray painting tag when I start doing that.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
He might. I'm just saying if I do, Turbot's a pretty good one. Also, Andy busted me for wearing cheaters early on, Keev.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
No, they're just like a store about 1.5s.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
I listen to my podcast at the same speed that I wear my eyes. I'm a 1.5. Oh, wow. Are you? Yeah. That's really fast. Oh, I do too. I'll two a podcast. Whoa, you must be listening to some slow pods. Yeah, I listen to some real. Well, you know, it's like- If someone's trying to two us, they're going to get lost.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
reenactments of win ben stein's money guy oh yeah ben stein yeah yeah wait you said you called ben stein the win ben stein's money guy i felt it happening as i was saying it no it's fine it was too late and then i was like it'll be all right yeah yeah the ferris bueller guy would have been the way you were trying to you were trying to phrase it the teacher from ferris bueller guy who's that dude who hosts jimmy kimmel yo that was a trick question son
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
As evidenced by the beginning of this podcast, we're going to be all over the place. But welcome to the Lonely Island Seth Meyers podcast. We've got a lot of questions sent in from our listeners. So to the Quaid army out there, I would just like to say... It didn't work. Didn't plan. Didn't work?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
But then I think we should keep in us not being able to hear it. Oh, for sure. I think that worked really well. The amount of time I put into isolating Cuado in the house.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Yeah, we should just as evidence of how little they actually want everything. Speaking of April Fool's, just a little bit of housekeeping. What did you think of the spelling bee April Fool's joke? Andy?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Sorry, what was it? They just used the same letters as they used the day before on April Fool's.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
I'm very upset about this. Yeah. And iron was a word that used to be accepted and no longer is.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
I don't know. The B is a constantly changing thing, but I do not care for the fact that there's words that used to be accepted in the B that no longer are.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
There's only so many slots. The finite amount of words. That's the rules. Once again, Sam Mazursky, editor of The Bee, we're calling you out.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Yeah, Sam. Should we get into some questions? Yeah. Hell yeah. Okay, great. Yes, Seth. Oh, a couple YouTube comments first. This is in the Jizz in My Pants episode. Someone wrote, as a Brit, it's crazy to me that you can't say jizz at 11.30 p.m. So, Andy, you've spent some time there. About what hour is it appropriate to say jizz in foggy London town?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Would you say it's bad for podcasts, Andy? Yeah, let me clarify.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Why is nobody answering my jizz question?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Yeah, and I'm like, stop yelling that at me. Jamie Lynn Ziegler, this is another comment. Jamie Lynn Ziegler said in her podcast that after Sopranos, this is the role she gets asked about the most. No way. Wow. That was a lovely thing to hear. Well, sorry. She said that on her podcast. She said that on her podcast and one of our listeners heard that on her podcast and shared it with us.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Yeah. I don't know how to break this to you. About the past? A lot of people do podcasts about the past.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Is that the new word in Merriam-Webster this year? No, I think imp's been in there for a minute. It's just you're using it a lot now all of a sudden. I feel like we have an established slang on the pod and I don't like that there's just a new word now.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Also, Jorm is going to not be here for the full podcast. That's just something for our listeners to know because he's going to a dinner. And so he dressed for dinner before the podcast.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
It's a little bit of a bell cut. Yes. Kind of when you stood up, you looked a little bit like a black shiny bell.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Used to be accepted. Yeah. A great example.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
They're killing all our favorite words. Somebody wrote in, I've listened to jizz in my pants a million times and not once had it occurred to me that Andy and Jorm were doing English accents. I guess I just thought it was some kind of jizz-related speech impediment.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
We're getting to see his full dinner vest.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Multiple people said this about the English accents. They had assumed, and I kind of thought this was a nice observation, that you were maybe Germans speaking English in that way that sometimes sounds British. That's fair.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Yeah. You were correct. We take it back. I'm going to just get in some questions now from the Quaid Army. Hit us. When and how does the cast find out when upcoming hosts get booked? Mass email? Break room? Bulletin board? Are there varying levels of excitement amongst the cast when you do find out or is it just business as usual for everyone forever you're Quaid?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
forever you're quady so quaid army has just happened now it was like an off-handed oh yeah that's what we slipped into it can i i also went back you know obviously it was a bust because none of you could hear it when i played my sweet you know quado in the house yeah the best thing about quado is that it is a recurring sketch that only recurred once so it's twice i feel like maybe the most damning amount for a sketch to happen is twice
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Because Lorne bought into it enough for twice, but then he wasn't fool me three times.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
But do you know this, that both times Cuado appears, he says his bad breath is kicking like? Yes.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Amazing, Paul. Right. How do we find out who the host is?
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Listener Q&A Episode 5
Yep. It's not that there's a main room that it gets posted in. You just sort of when you find your way into Lorne's office, you get the news.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Property of the Queen
Shut up, Nick. He knows. I'm not going to throw it all away.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Property of the Queen
Hey, hey, it's the Lonely Island and Seth Meyers podcast show.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Property of the Queen
I think he'll like it. Hey, hey, it's the Lonely Island Podcast, and sometimes Seth Meyers hangs out, too. He's busy. And there's that one guy who's always late. Sometimes don't show up at all. I think you know who. Finland. Finland. But it's all good, sir. It don't matter as long as they got you.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Japanese Office
How are you going to leave out the juice? Yeah, exactly.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Japanese Office
Yeah, if you ask me, who has the best spirit? Yeah.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 2
Throw me the baseball. Now toss me the pigskin. Now feed me the rock. Now give me the rock.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Incredibad Part 2
Hey, what's up, man? Not much, dude. Hey, are you ready for the party tonight? Yeah, man. I already got a case of Santana champagne, so it should be good. Oh, nice. Yeah, that's good. Oh, man. Don't make eye contact.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Daiquiri Girl
Okay, this is a note from Yorm on Daiquiri Girl, which I remember watching in Los Angeles as I remember it. I called you guys that week to ask about the short. I remember hearing about that Brian bailed on you and that you had made something but you didn't want to tell me what it was because it should be a surprise. while shooting Land of the Lost. Some cool highlights for me, editing wipes.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Daiquiri Girl
Were those in Final Cut? Are those built into Final Cut? Because they're so shitty. I assume they are, but that's deep cut horribleness for Final Cut 7, I assume, Keith. Web Clip Empire, is that beat from Web Clip? No, it is not. You maybe want to explain those cool CDs that we used for a thousand years, Keith? Loved the clip art of the daiquiris. Loved that it was kind of a Shy Ronnie precursor.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Daiquiri Girl
He's got the same wig that was used for Shy Ronnie. Good eye, bud. How did you end up at Kevin's house? I'm sure you guys have addressed that one already. And then lastly, I was just saying, it feels like in watching that, that Brian Danger Mouth Burton still owes us a favor. And I think we should figure out how to cash in on that. Okay. Love you guys.
The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast
Daiquiri Girl
Please stop doing these so late because I can do them. It's 10 hours ahead from LA and that seems reasonable that you could do them in the afternoon and I wouldn't be asleep while you guys do these podcasts. Love you guys. Bye.