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John Goodman

👤 Person
654 appearances

Podcast Appearances

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

That's a good point. It was different for the time because the antidote to a lot of things like Dallas and Dynasty and... all these rich folk things, and I think we hit a nerve. I know my nerves were beat.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

That's a good point. It was different for the time because the antidote to a lot of things like Dallas and Dynasty and... all these rich folk things, and I think we hit a nerve. I know my nerves were beat.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

1987, I think, the pilot.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

1987, I think, the pilot.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I was out here for something. In L.A.? Yeah. It was either a movie or a commercial. And I got hip and rented a Corvette. Mm-hmm. I thought I was hot shit. I had a couple of bucks, and I remember going to the audition in that Corvette. And... I walked in, I didn't know much about her. I'd seen her in some Pizza Hut commercials.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I was out here for something. In L.A.? Yeah. It was either a movie or a commercial. And I got hip and rented a Corvette. Mm-hmm. I thought I was hot shit. I had a couple of bucks, and I remember going to the audition in that Corvette. And... I walked in, I didn't know much about her. I'd seen her in some Pizza Hut commercials.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I've seen a couple of clips and she was really good, like on the Carson Show. And I walked in and it was very friendly and I read and I just, I knew I had the gig. Yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I've seen a couple of clips and she was really good, like on the Carson Show. And I walked in and it was very friendly and I read and I just, I knew I had the gig. Yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I was living out of suitcases all the time because I was just starting to get films. Yeah. Like starting in 1985, I was a book on a lot of movies. That was after Revenge of the Nerds. Yeah, that was shot in 83.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I was living out of suitcases all the time because I was just starting to get films. Yeah. Like starting in 1985, I was a book on a lot of movies. That was after Revenge of the Nerds. Yeah, that was shot in 83.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, it was before. It was in 1985. Oh, wow. I just got a lead in a film that David Byrne directed.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, it was before. It was in 1985. Oh, wow. I just got a lead in a film that David Byrne directed.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, it was called True Stories. It's really interesting looking.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, it was called True Stories. It's really interesting looking.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I want to see that. And I was just really getting, you know, I'd show up. I'd go to dailies because I wanted to.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I want to see that. And I was just really getting, you know, I'd show up. I'd go to dailies because I wanted to.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, it was before that with David Byrne. And I was really getting into it. I wasn't as scared as I was. And I got called, I was in New York on a week off or something. Anyway, I was in New York. They called me in for Raising Arizona. And we just sat down and goofed around for about an hour. Really? That was the audition. And then I read and left.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, it was before that with David Byrne. And I was really getting into it. I wasn't as scared as I was. And I got called, I was in New York on a week off or something. Anyway, I was in New York. They called me in for Raising Arizona. And we just sat down and goofed around for about an hour. Really? That was the audition. And then I read and left.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, I didn't know, but I never had an audition.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, I didn't know, but I never had an audition.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I never had a more fun audition before or since. We just sat and goofed around constantly. Yeah, I was going to say we were on the same level humor-wise, but those guys are geniuses. Yeah, they are. No kidding. Yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I never had a more fun audition before or since. We just sat and goofed around constantly. Yeah, I was going to say we were on the same level humor-wise, but those guys are geniuses. Yeah, they are. No kidding. Yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I wouldn't know how to augment any better than they wrote it. We had rehearsal time on Lebowski. So by the time we shot, we were in pretty good shape with the dialogue, and that's why a lot of people asked me if it was improvised. It was just so conversational. Because we were facile with it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I wouldn't know how to augment any better than they wrote it. We had rehearsal time on Lebowski. So by the time we shot, we were in pretty good shape with the dialogue, and that's why a lot of people asked me if it was improvised. It was just so conversational. Because we were facile with it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

One of my faves. It was just lovely. Man, it's just a great time, great hang. Do you remember reading that script the first time?

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

One of my faves. It was just lovely. Man, it's just a great time, great hang. Do you remember reading that script the first time?

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Isn't that wild? Kismet, man. Yeah. And everybody hit it off.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Isn't that wild? Kismet, man. Yeah. And everybody hit it off.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

You're like, holy shit. Did they write it for you? I'll bet they did. Oh, Lebowski, yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

You're like, holy shit. Did they write it for you? I'll bet they did. Oh, Lebowski, yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

That and Barton Fink. Yeah. And the last one I did for him.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

That and Barton Fink. Yeah. And the last one I did for him.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Inside Llewyn Davis. Yeah, yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Inside Llewyn Davis. Yeah, yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

and magpies for popular culture that just throw in and everything and it works. They've got great ears for people's dialogue, for human speech. Will worked with Barry Sonnenfeld. I was about to bring up Barry, so I was very...

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

and magpies for popular culture that just throw in and everything and it works. They've got great ears for people's dialogue, for human speech. Will worked with Barry Sonnenfeld. I was about to bring up Barry, so I was very...

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Oh, Blood Simple. Yeah, Blood Simple. Blood Simple was their first, yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Oh, Blood Simple. Yeah, Blood Simple. Blood Simple was their first, yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, I believe that. But back then, they were broke, and they would just know what they wanted, and they'd invent ways to do it. Like, you know, these guys from the 20s, they just, if they had a problem, they'd solve it and... Strap a camera on a board and run with it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, I believe that. But back then, they were broke, and they would just know what they wanted, and they'd invent ways to do it. Like, you know, these guys from the 20s, they just, if they had a problem, they'd solve it and... Strap a camera on a board and run with it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, more of a shortcut than anything else. The more experience they got, the... The easier it gets.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, more of a shortcut than anything else. The more experience they got, the... The easier it gets.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Because I feel like I'm still learning. The last couple of years have been goofy for me because I've been... Trying to be good. And it doesn't work that way. You know, like planning things way too much. And at the root of that was the fear of losing trust in myself. So I overcompensated by working way too hard. And I've just kind of come out of that in the last year or so.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Because I feel like I'm still learning. The last couple of years have been goofy for me because I've been... Trying to be good. And it doesn't work that way. You know, like planning things way too much. And at the root of that was the fear of losing trust in myself. So I overcompensated by working way too hard. And I've just kind of come out of that in the last year or so.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And it's, man, there's so much to learn. Yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And it's, man, there's so much to learn. Yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

uh practically having a nervous breakdown no it it was bad uh with everything and it just finally yeah it just it just purged out of me when i went to the therapist one day and then for the rest of the day it was horrible nothing worked everything i woke up woke up the next day and it The cherubs danced around my head, but it just felt a lot better.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

uh practically having a nervous breakdown no it it was bad uh with everything and it just finally yeah it just it just purged out of me when i went to the therapist one day and then for the rest of the day it was horrible nothing worked everything i woke up woke up the next day and it The cherubs danced around my head, but it just felt a lot better.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

You gotta be relaxed when you do stuff, and open, and listen.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

You gotta be relaxed when you do stuff, and open, and listen.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

You have to be... ready to listen to yourself. You have to be relaxed.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

You have to be... ready to listen to yourself. You have to be relaxed.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

For me, that was the key. I already know this stuff.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

For me, that was the key. I already know this stuff.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And that's the one thing I didn't trust myself about. I didn't make it to Stella Adler. I didn't make it to Uta Hagen. I got into the studio, but I've never been there. And I just didn't have a, I felt I didn't have a base for everything. And it finally dawned on me, I know this stuff. Man, I've been doing this for 50 years. It's like, you know it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And that's the one thing I didn't trust myself about. I didn't make it to Stella Adler. I didn't make it to Uta Hagen. I got into the studio, but I've never been there. And I just didn't have a, I felt I didn't have a base for everything. And it finally dawned on me, I know this stuff. Man, I've been doing this for 50 years. It's like, you know it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And it's there if you listen for it, if you let it come to you, it's boom.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And it's there if you listen for it, if you let it come to you, it's boom.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

That's what it is. Just play. Yeah. And listening.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

That's what it is. Just play. Yeah. And listening.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I don't know. I've been doing the same role for the last... Same two rules. No, you haven't. For the last, like, four or five years. Yeah. And I haven't really had much of a chance to do everything else. Because you've been doing the Conners. You're talking about the Conners. Yeah, the Conners and the Righteous Gemstones.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I don't know. I've been doing the same role for the last... Same two rules. No, you haven't. For the last, like, four or five years. Yeah. And I haven't really had much of a chance to do everything else. Because you've been doing the Conners. You're talking about the Conners. Yeah, the Conners and the Righteous Gemstones.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Oh, my pleasure. It's just... kind of to help myself and maybe help somebody else. But yeah, I've been clean about 16 years now. And the last 16 years I've had to grow a lot into my normal age. And it's been a lot, but I'm glad I did it. Oh, that's great.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Oh, my pleasure. It's just... kind of to help myself and maybe help somebody else. But yeah, I've been clean about 16 years now. And the last 16 years I've had to grow a lot into my normal age. And it's been a lot, but I'm glad I did it. Oh, that's great.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I don't remember that.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I don't remember that.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I'm cursed with a bad memory like that. I will remember stuff like that.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I'm cursed with a bad memory like that. I will remember stuff like that.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I get the same problem. I get to pad it with blank pages. Draw your own conclusions. And Cliffy the Clown. We'll be right back.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I get the same problem. I get to pad it with blank pages. Draw your own conclusions. And Cliffy the Clown. We'll be right back.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I hit it off with her from jump.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I hit it off with her from jump.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It just, her, she and Seth wrote a bit. And we did it. I thought it was a brilliant bit. Yeah. But I just, you know, I really dug her. Yeah, she's cool. It made me feel welcome.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It just, her, she and Seth wrote a bit. And we did it. I thought it was a brilliant bit. Yeah. But I just, you know, I really dug her. Yeah, she's cool. It made me feel welcome.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, I don't know how to do improv. No, but you don't need to know. I auditioned for it in 1980 when everybody quit. You did? No way. Did you really? Yeah. You know who got it? Laurie Metcalf. Oh, wow. But she was, I don't think she ever went on air. I don't know what happened, but, you know, she was one of the people they picked.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, I don't know how to do improv. No, but you don't need to know. I auditioned for it in 1980 when everybody quit. You did? No way. Did you really? Yeah. You know who got it? Laurie Metcalf. Oh, wow. But she was, I don't think she ever went on air. I don't know what happened, but, you know, she was one of the people they picked.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I didn't know that. Oh, it was horrible. It was open calls, and they had guys walking around in Blues Brothers costumes, like, by the score. No way. It was a hideous dream. Desperation, flop sweat.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I didn't know that. Oh, it was horrible. It was open calls, and they had guys walking around in Blues Brothers costumes, like, by the score. No way. It was a hideous dream. Desperation, flop sweat.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

That used to be my favorite thing to do every year. I'd get so goddamn scared and just hit the door and walk onto the floor. It was great, man. I was a big fan of... the National Lampoon when I was in college. And when I saw a lot of the writing staff from Saturday Night Live, I was really intrigued. And it was a hit to me. I remember parties used to stop.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

That used to be my favorite thing to do every year. I'd get so goddamn scared and just hit the door and walk onto the floor. It was great, man. I was a big fan of... the National Lampoon when I was in college. And when I saw a lot of the writing staff from Saturday Night Live, I was really intrigued. And it was a hit to me. I remember parties used to stop.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

when it had come on and people had watched television. For sure. Oh, yeah, that's a good point. It was a big deal.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

when it had come on and people had watched television. For sure. Oh, yeah, that's a good point. It was a big deal.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Well, I'm almost ashamed to say Brando. Why? That's great. Yeah, no, a lot of people my age will say that. He just never seen anything like him. Yeah. And I didn't. really pay that much attention to movies. I liked them.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Well, I'm almost ashamed to say Brando. Why? That's great. Yeah, no, a lot of people my age will say that. He just never seen anything like him. Yeah. And I didn't. really pay that much attention to movies. I liked them.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

He looked like he was making it up.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

He looked like he was making it up.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And it's this 1950, 1951 movie looked more like a guy, an incredibly good-looking guy that walked off the street.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And it's this 1950, 1951 movie looked more like a guy, an incredibly good-looking guy that walked off the street.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

He got more naturalistic. Montgomery Clift was another icebreaker.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

He got more naturalistic. Montgomery Clift was another icebreaker.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, you're pretty old, Will.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, you're pretty old, Will.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, I think people are slighting the kids today. are kind of sliding away from that stuff that I was raised with. The group theater, everything was based from that, and the Stanislavskiites, and then the sects that developed among the acting teachers. It seems like people are getting away from that now.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, I think people are slighting the kids today. are kind of sliding away from that stuff that I was raised with. The group theater, everything was based from that, and the Stanislavskiites, and then the sects that developed among the acting teachers. It seems like people are getting away from that now.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I was good at comedy in the classroom. And when I thought it was still cute to mug. Right. Yeah. No, it has to be necessarily really structured comedy play as opposed to like improv, but there are rules there too and it has its own structure. Yeah. And it can be terribly hard, but when it's easy, man, it applies and there's nothing like it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I was good at comedy in the classroom. And when I thought it was still cute to mug. Right. Yeah. No, it has to be necessarily really structured comedy play as opposed to like improv, but there are rules there too and it has its own structure. Yeah. And it can be terribly hard, but when it's easy, man, it applies and there's nothing like it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I'm going right now. No, I have to. Wait a minute. I am presently going. It's warm.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I'm going right now. No, I have to. Wait a minute. I am presently going. It's warm.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

The worst thing that ever happened to me was in, well, two things happened in this show. I was doing a musical in 1985 on Broadway. Okay. And I was doing it for a while. Which one, do you remember? Yeah, Big River. And I was supposed to come out and surprise my son, Huckleberry Finn. And before, I was standing behind this flat waiting to go on, and I couldn't remember my first line.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

The worst thing that ever happened to me was in, well, two things happened in this show. I was doing a musical in 1985 on Broadway. Okay. And I was doing it for a while. Which one, do you remember? Yeah, Big River. And I was supposed to come out and surprise my son, Huckleberry Finn. And before, I was standing behind this flat waiting to go on, and I couldn't remember my first line.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And I panicked. Oh, God. And I panicked. And it just wouldn't come. And the cue was there, and I was going to step out and say, ladies and gentlemen, I'm so sorry. I can't. And the line popped into my head. But that happened for four nights straight. Yeah, yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And I panicked. Oh, God. And I panicked. And it just wouldn't come. And the cue was there, and I was going to step out and say, ladies and gentlemen, I'm so sorry. I can't. And the line popped into my head. But that happened for four nights straight. Yeah, yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, as soon as I opened my mouth. Isn't that amazing how that went?

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, as soon as I opened my mouth. Isn't that amazing how that went?

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah. Yeah. And it's wild. It's right there. And I don't know why it happened. And the second was my son was supposed to hit me in, Huck Finn was supposed to hit me in the jaw with a stool, a three-legged stool. And one night I forgot to, I forgot to put my hand up and throw my head back and I caught it. It drove my jaw back into my head, it knocked me out. And I got up and finished the show.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah. Yeah. And it's wild. It's right there. And I don't know why it happened. And the second was my son was supposed to hit me in, Huck Finn was supposed to hit me in the jaw with a stool, a three-legged stool. And one night I forgot to, I forgot to put my hand up and throw my head back and I caught it. It drove my jaw back into my head, it knocked me out. And I got up and finished the show.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, I finished my scene and then I had to go down the street to the hospital.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, I finished my scene and then I had to go down the street to the hospital.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No. No, but it was touch and go for about five days there when I didn't show up. Understudy started getting stretched out. Yeah. Let him have it for a while. Yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No. No, but it was touch and go for about five days there when I didn't show up. Understudy started getting stretched out. Yeah. Let him have it for a while. Yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Oh, yeah, you could put a whole dictionary in that half a second.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Oh, yeah, you could put a whole dictionary in that half a second.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

We also had, I think, the first or second preview of the front page. Did about five or six years ago. And there were guys that came in, sat in the front row, put their drinks on the stage and their feet up there. And then one guy got up and started going, I love you, John Goodman. I love you, John Goodman. I love... And I go, I'll just not say anything.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

We also had, I think, the first or second preview of the front page. Did about five or six years ago. And there were guys that came in, sat in the front row, put their drinks on the stage and their feet up there. And then one guy got up and started going, I love you, John Goodman. I love you, John Goodman. I love... And I go, I'll just not say anything.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Please make it. And he got up. He walked out of the theater. Just drunk? That was a little frightening.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Please make it. And he got up. He walked out of the theater. Just drunk? That was a little frightening.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It's getting worse, too. It is getting worse.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It's getting worse, too. It is getting worse.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I am a huge fan of you guys as well. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I'm going to cut it short there, but thank you. I really, really appreciate you hanging out with us for an hour. I was terrified at the beginning of this. Oh, man. Really?

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I am a huge fan of you guys as well. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I'm going to cut it short there, but thank you. I really, really appreciate you hanging out with us for an hour. I was terrified at the beginning of this. Oh, man. Really?

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Thank you for the invite, man. It's been wonderful. Anytime. Thank you. Thanks, Pat. That was fantastic. Thank you, John, very much.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Thank you for the invite, man. It's been wonderful. Anytime. Thank you. Thanks, Pat. That was fantastic. Thank you, John, very much.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

My pleasure. Thank you. It's America's favorite podcast. Thank you for welcoming me into your pod. This is cool.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

My pleasure. Thank you. It's America's favorite podcast. Thank you for welcoming me into your pod. This is cool.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I had nowhere else to go.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I had nowhere else to go.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, I sabotaged my own education. The only time I got lit up was... doing plays and I decided to make that my major since I was inches from being thrown out of school. And everything took off after that and as soon as I found out how wonderful it can be, then I started to want to learn. history, English, whatever I needed to pull out of my bag of tricks when performing a role. Oh, wow.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, I sabotaged my own education. The only time I got lit up was... doing plays and I decided to make that my major since I was inches from being thrown out of school. And everything took off after that and as soon as I found out how wonderful it can be, then I started to want to learn. history, English, whatever I needed to pull out of my bag of tricks when performing a role. Oh, wow.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It was called Southwest Missouri State University. Now it's called Missouri State University. But then you moved to New York. Is that true? That is true. I took the Amtrak from St. Louis to New York in August of 1975. Holy shit.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It was called Southwest Missouri State University. Now it's called Missouri State University. But then you moved to New York. Is that true? That is true. I took the Amtrak from St. Louis to New York in August of 1975. Holy shit.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I was a frightened hick. The main thing I wanted to do was take classes with Uta Hagen and get into the actor's studio and learn some more. And did you get in there? I did not. I left about... Month and a half later, doing a dinner theater, non-equity dinner theater version of 1776. What dinner theater? The La Comedia Dinner Playhouse in Springboro, Ohio.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I was a frightened hick. The main thing I wanted to do was take classes with Uta Hagen and get into the actor's studio and learn some more. And did you get in there? I did not. I left about... Month and a half later, doing a dinner theater, non-equity dinner theater version of 1776. What dinner theater? The La Comedia Dinner Playhouse in Springboro, Ohio.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Hi, I'm John Goodman, grizzled show business veteran, and you're listening to SmartLess.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Hi, I'm John Goodman, grizzled show business veteran, and you're listening to SmartLess.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Well, that's what I was going to say. You got the glasses clanking and the forks going. Yeah, and the-

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Well, that's what I was going to say. You got the glasses clanking and the forks going. Yeah, and the-

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Well, I couldn't get hired for their next shows, but my girlfriend did. So I went down there just to get out of New York and work as a waiter in the dinner theater. Wow. That's amazing. For the summer, but I cut the grass. I did all kinds of odd jobs and made enough money to pay off my student loans that summer. Whoa.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Well, I couldn't get hired for their next shows, but my girlfriend did. So I went down there just to get out of New York and work as a waiter in the dinner theater. Wow. That's amazing. For the summer, but I cut the grass. I did all kinds of odd jobs and made enough money to pay off my student loans that summer. Whoa.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, not at all. I just left. It was a horrible winter, and I was broke, and I couldn't get arrested as a waiter or Anything else? I got one night's work as a bouncer in a club called the Adam's Apple, and they had this German head bouncer who was telling us how to rip guys' mouths open when you got their head down on the curve, and then you stomp the back of their head and their teeth come out.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, not at all. I just left. It was a horrible winter, and I was broke, and I couldn't get arrested as a waiter or Anything else? I got one night's work as a bouncer in a club called the Adam's Apple, and they had this German head bouncer who was telling us how to rip guys' mouths open when you got their head down on the curve, and then you stomp the back of their head and their teeth come out.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Jesus Christ. Check, please. Yeah, I had to show up the next day. So then where did you go at that? That's the only job I had in the city.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Jesus Christ. Check, please. Yeah, I had to show up the next day. So then where did you go at that? That's the only job I had in the city.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Well, it was also, at the time, it was... Ford, the city, dropped dead. They were defaulting on their loans. The city was just going to hell. The subways were terrifying. You know, the graffiti, all the stuff. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, I was a kid from the suburbs. Yeah. But I was determined to live there because I dug it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Well, it was also, at the time, it was... Ford, the city, dropped dead. They were defaulting on their loans. The city was just going to hell. The subways were terrifying. You know, the graffiti, all the stuff. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, I was a kid from the suburbs. Yeah. But I was determined to live there because I dug it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, I came back, and then I got my card about... Like a month after that. Your equity card or SAG card? Yeah, my equity card doing a bus and truck of the robber bridegroom. Oh, my God. That is so... And so how old were you? You were about 20? What, 24? Yeah, 23, 24.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, I came back, and then I got my card about... Like a month after that. Your equity card or SAG card? Yeah, my equity card doing a bus and truck of the robber bridegroom. Oh, my God. That is so... And so how old were you? You were about 20? What, 24? Yeah, 23, 24.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No. The way I look back on it now, it unfolds itself like it was a calling. I mean, I used to get kicked out of, when I'd get kicked out of a class, they'd send me to the library, and I would sit there and read plays. And I'm like 14, 15 years old. I have no idea why. Was anybody in your family doing that? No. My brother was a fan of theater. He's a bit older than me.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No. The way I look back on it now, it unfolds itself like it was a calling. I mean, I used to get kicked out of, when I'd get kicked out of a class, they'd send me to the library, and I would sit there and read plays. And I'm like 14, 15 years old. I have no idea why. Was anybody in your family doing that? No. My brother was a fan of theater. He's a bit older than me.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And we'd go into Clayton, Missouri, and pick up the New York Times every Sunday, literally. It weighed a ton back then. And I would go to the Arts and Leisures and basically to look at the Hirschfeld cartoons. And then I'd just start following what shows were up. I had no idea why. You just enjoyed it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And we'd go into Clayton, Missouri, and pick up the New York Times every Sunday, literally. It weighed a ton back then. And I would go to the Arts and Leisures and basically to look at the Hirschfeld cartoons. And then I'd just start following what shows were up. I had no idea why. You just enjoyed it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I had to have attention. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, learning was... Learning bad, attention good. Yeah, I had the same problem.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I had to have attention. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, learning was... Learning bad, attention good. Yeah, I had the same problem.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I had a series of little breaks. When I got back from... The tour, at one time, I had a bunch of pictures, you know, resumes, stapled them all together, and in desperation, I was sending them out to theaters. One guy at Great Advertising picked up my picture, called me in, I got the gig, and he set me up with commercial agents. And then... I couldn't not get them for some reason.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I had a series of little breaks. When I got back from... The tour, at one time, I had a bunch of pictures, you know, resumes, stapled them all together, and in desperation, I was sending them out to theaters. One guy at Great Advertising picked up my picture, called me in, I got the gig, and he set me up with commercial agents. And then... I couldn't not get them for some reason.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I've been goofing off on them my whole life.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I've been goofing off on them my whole life.

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"John Goodman"

Yeah. You know what I mean?

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"John Goodman"

Yeah. You know what I mean?

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

By that time, I was hanging out with a lot of real, real actors at a place up on the west side. Yeah. I got to hate myself for doing commercials. I was all screwed up and I was really getting into drinking at the time. And I resented doing commercials because other guys were doing what I thought was real work. Right. So I didn't care. I think that's why I got so many of them. Right, right, right.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

By that time, I was hanging out with a lot of real, real actors at a place up on the west side. Yeah. I got to hate myself for doing commercials. I was all screwed up and I was really getting into drinking at the time. And I resented doing commercials because other guys were doing what I thought was real work. Right. So I didn't care. I think that's why I got so many of them. Right, right, right.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And I got a lot of them.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And I got a lot of them.

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"John Goodman"

The lighting alone, man, would take forever to set up. And it had to be just right and the product just right.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

The lighting alone, man, would take forever to set up. And it had to be just right and the product just right.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

That's a good point.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

That's a good point. It was different for the time because the antidote to a lot of things like Dallas and Dynasty and... all these rich folk things, and I think we hit a nerve. I know my nerves were beat.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It was different for the time because the antidote to a lot of things like Dallas and Dynasty and...

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"John Goodman"

all these rich folk things, and I think we hit a nerve.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I know my nerves were beat.

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"John Goodman"

1987, I think, the pilot.

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"John Goodman"

1987, I think, the pilot.

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"John Goodman"

I was out here for something.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I was out here for something. In L.A.? Yeah. It was either a movie or a commercial. And I got hip and rented a Corvette. Mm-hmm. I thought I was hot shit. I had a couple of bucks, and I remember going to the audition in that Corvette. And... I walked in, I didn't know much about her. I'd seen her in some Pizza Hut commercials.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It was either a movie or a commercial.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And I got hip and rented a Corvette.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I thought I was hot shit.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I had a couple of bucks, and I remember going to the audition in that Corvette.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I walked in, I didn't know much about her.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I'd seen her in some Pizza Hut commercials.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I've seen a couple of clips and she was really good, like on the Carson Show.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I've seen a couple of clips and she was really good, like on the Carson Show. And I walked in and it was very friendly and I read and I just, I knew I had the gig. Yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And I walked in and it was very friendly and I read and I just, I knew I had the gig.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I was living out of suitcases all the time because I was just starting to get films.

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"John Goodman"

I was living out of suitcases all the time because I was just starting to get films. Yeah. Like starting in 1985, I was a book on a lot of movies. That was after Revenge of the Nerds. Yeah, that was shot in 83.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Like starting in 1985, I was a book on a lot of movies.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

That was after Revenge of the Nerds.

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"John Goodman"

Yeah, that was shot in 83.

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"John Goodman"

No, it was before. It was in 1985. Oh, wow. I just got a lead in a film that David Byrne directed.

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"John Goodman"

I just got a lead in a film that David Byrne directed.

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"John Goodman"

Yeah, it was called True Stories.

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"John Goodman"

Yeah, it was called True Stories. It's really interesting looking.

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"John Goodman"

It's really interesting looking.

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"John Goodman"

I want to see that.

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"John Goodman"

I want to see that. And I was just really getting, you know, I'd show up. I'd go to dailies because I wanted to.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And I was just really getting, you know, I'd show up.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I'd go to dailies because I wanted to.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, it was before that with David Byrne.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, it was before that with David Byrne. And I was really getting into it. I wasn't as scared as I was. And I got called, I was in New York on a week off or something. Anyway, I was in New York. They called me in for Raising Arizona. And we just sat down and goofed around for about an hour. Really? That was the audition. And then I read and left.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And I was really getting into it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I wasn't as scared as I was.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And I got called, I was in New York on a week off or something.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Anyway, I was in New York.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

They called me in for Raising Arizona.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And we just sat down and goofed around for about an hour.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

That was the audition.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And then I read and left.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, I didn't know, but I never had an audition.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, I didn't know, but I never had an audition.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I never had a more fun audition before or since.

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"John Goodman"

I never had a more fun audition before or since. We just sat and goofed around constantly. Yeah, I was going to say we were on the same level humor-wise, but those guys are geniuses. Yeah, they are. No kidding. Yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

We just sat and goofed around constantly.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, I was going to say we were on the same level humor-wise, but those guys are geniuses.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I wouldn't know how to augment any better than they wrote it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I wouldn't know how to augment any better than they wrote it. We had rehearsal time on Lebowski. So by the time we shot, we were in pretty good shape with the dialogue, and that's why a lot of people asked me if it was improvised. It was just so conversational. Because we were facile with it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

We had rehearsal time on Lebowski.

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"John Goodman"

So by the time we shot, we were in pretty good shape with the dialogue, and that's why a lot of people asked me if it was improvised.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It was just so conversational.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Because we were facile with it.

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"John Goodman"

One of my faves. It was just lovely. Man, it's just a great time, great hang. Do you remember reading that script the first time?

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"John Goodman"

It was just lovely.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Man, it's just a great time, great hang.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Do you remember reading that script the first time?

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"John Goodman"

Isn't that wild? Kismet, man. Yeah. And everybody hit it off.

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"John Goodman"

And everybody hit it off.

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"John Goodman"

You're like, holy shit.

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"John Goodman"

You're like, holy shit. Did they write it for you? I'll bet they did. Oh, Lebowski, yeah.

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"John Goodman"

Did they write it for you?

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"John Goodman"

I'll bet they did.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Oh, Lebowski, yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

That and Barton Fink.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

That and Barton Fink. Yeah. And the last one I did for him.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And the last one I did for him.

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"John Goodman"

Inside Llewyn Davis.

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"John Goodman"

Inside Llewyn Davis. Yeah, yeah.

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"John Goodman"

and magpies for popular culture that just throw in and everything and it works.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

and magpies for popular culture that just throw in and everything and it works. They've got great ears for people's dialogue, for human speech. Will worked with Barry Sonnenfeld. I was about to bring up Barry, so I was very...

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

They've got great ears for people's dialogue, for human speech.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Will worked with Barry Sonnenfeld.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I was about to bring up Barry, so I was very...

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Oh, Blood Simple. Yeah, Blood Simple. Blood Simple was their first, yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, Blood Simple.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Blood Simple was their first, yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, I believe that.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, I believe that. But back then, they were broke, and they would just know what they wanted, and they'd invent ways to do it. Like, you know, these guys from the 20s, they just, if they had a problem, they'd solve it and... Strap a camera on a board and run with it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

But back then, they were broke, and they would just know what they wanted, and they'd invent ways to do it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Like, you know, these guys from the 20s, they just, if they had a problem, they'd solve it and...

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Strap a camera on a board and run with it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, more of a shortcut than anything else.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, more of a shortcut than anything else. The more experience they got, the... The easier it gets.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

The more experience they got, the...

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

The easier it gets.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Because I feel like I'm still learning.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Because I feel like I'm still learning. The last couple of years have been goofy for me because I've been... Trying to be good. And it doesn't work that way. You know, like planning things way too much. And at the root of that was the fear of losing trust in myself. So I overcompensated by working way too hard. And I've just kind of come out of that in the last year or so.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

The last couple of years have been goofy for me because I've been...

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And it doesn't work that way.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

You know, like planning things way too much.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And at the root of that was the fear of losing trust in myself.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

So I overcompensated by working way too hard.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And I've just kind of come out of that in the last year or so.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And it's, man, there's so much to learn.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And it's, man, there's so much to learn. Yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

uh practically having a nervous breakdown no it it was bad uh with everything and it just finally yeah it just it just purged out of me when i went to the therapist one day and then for the rest of the day it was horrible nothing worked everything i woke up woke up the next day and it

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

uh practically having a nervous breakdown no it it was bad uh with everything and it just finally yeah it just it just purged out of me when i went to the therapist one day and then for the rest of the day it was horrible nothing worked everything i woke up woke up the next day and it The cherubs danced around my head, but it just felt a lot better.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

The cherubs danced around my head, but it just felt a lot better.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

You gotta be relaxed when you do stuff, and open, and listen.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

You gotta be relaxed when you do stuff, and open, and listen.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

You have to be... ready to listen to yourself. You have to be relaxed.

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"John Goodman"

ready to listen to yourself.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

You have to be relaxed.

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"John Goodman"

For me, that was the key.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

For me, that was the key. I already know this stuff.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I already know this stuff.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And that's the one thing I didn't trust myself about.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And that's the one thing I didn't trust myself about. I didn't make it to Stella Adler. I didn't make it to Uta Hagen. I got into the studio, but I've never been there. And I just didn't have a, I felt I didn't have a base for everything. And it finally dawned on me, I know this stuff. Man, I've been doing this for 50 years. It's like, you know it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I didn't make it to Stella Adler.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I didn't make it to Uta Hagen.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I got into the studio, but I've never been there.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And I just didn't have a, I felt I didn't have a base for everything.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And it finally dawned on me, I know this stuff.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Man, I've been doing this for 50 years.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It's like, you know it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And it's there if you listen for it, if you let it come to you, it's boom.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And it's there if you listen for it, if you let it come to you, it's boom.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

That's what it is. Just play. Yeah. And listening.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I don't know. I've been doing the same role for the last... Same two rules. No, you haven't. For the last, like, four or five years. Yeah. And I haven't really had much of a chance to do everything else. Because you've been doing the Conners. You're talking about the Conners. Yeah, the Conners and the Righteous Gemstones.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I've been doing the same role for the last...

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

For the last, like, four or five years.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And I haven't really had much of a chance to do everything else.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Because you've been doing the Conners.

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"John Goodman"

You're talking about the Conners.

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"John Goodman"

Yeah, the Conners and the Righteous Gemstones.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Oh, my pleasure. It's just... kind of to help myself and maybe help somebody else. But yeah, I've been clean about 16 years now. And the last 16 years I've had to grow a lot into my normal age. And it's been a lot, but I'm glad I did it. Oh, that's great.

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"John Goodman"

kind of to help myself and maybe help somebody else.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

But yeah, I've been clean about 16 years now.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And the last 16 years I've had to grow a lot into my normal age.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And it's been a lot, but I'm glad I did it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I don't remember that.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I don't remember that.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I'm cursed with a bad memory like that.

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"John Goodman"

I'm cursed with a bad memory like that. I will remember stuff like that.

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"John Goodman"

I will remember stuff like that.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I get the same problem.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I get the same problem. I get to pad it with blank pages. Draw your own conclusions. And Cliffy the Clown. We'll be right back.

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"John Goodman"

I get to pad it with blank pages.

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"John Goodman"

Draw your own conclusions.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And Cliffy the Clown.

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"John Goodman"

We'll be right back.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I hit it off with her from jump.

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"John Goodman"

I hit it off with her from jump.

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"John Goodman"

It just, her, she and Seth wrote a bit.

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"John Goodman"

It just, her, she and Seth wrote a bit. And we did it. I thought it was a brilliant bit. Yeah. But I just, you know, I really dug her. Yeah, she's cool. It made me feel welcome.

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"John Goodman"

I thought it was a brilliant bit.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

But I just, you know, I really dug her.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It made me feel welcome.

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"John Goodman"

Yeah, I don't know how to do improv.

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"John Goodman"

Yeah, I don't know how to do improv. No, but you don't need to know. I auditioned for it in 1980 when everybody quit. You did? No way. Did you really? Yeah. You know who got it? Laurie Metcalf. Oh, wow. But she was, I don't think she ever went on air. I don't know what happened, but, you know, she was one of the people they picked.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, but you don't need to know.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I auditioned for it in 1980 when everybody quit.

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"John Goodman"

You know who got it?

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"John Goodman"

But she was, I don't think she ever went on air.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I don't know what happened, but, you know, she was one of the people they picked.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I didn't know that.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I didn't know that. Oh, it was horrible. It was open calls, and they had guys walking around in Blues Brothers costumes, like, by the score. No way. It was a hideous dream. Desperation, flop sweat.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Oh, it was horrible.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It was open calls, and they had guys walking around in Blues Brothers costumes, like, by the score.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It was a hideous dream.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Desperation, flop sweat.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

That used to be my favorite thing to do every year.

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"John Goodman"

That used to be my favorite thing to do every year. I'd get so goddamn scared and just hit the door and walk onto the floor. It was great, man. I was a big fan of... the National Lampoon when I was in college. And when I saw a lot of the writing staff from Saturday Night Live, I was really intrigued. And it was a hit to me. I remember parties used to stop.

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"John Goodman"

I'd get so goddamn scared and just hit the door and walk onto the floor.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I was a big fan of...

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"John Goodman"

the National Lampoon when I was in college.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And when I saw a lot of the writing staff from Saturday Night Live, I was really intrigued.

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"John Goodman"

And it was a hit to me.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I remember parties used to stop.

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"John Goodman"

when it had come on and people had watched television.

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"John Goodman"

when it had come on and people had watched television. For sure. Oh, yeah, that's a good point. It was a big deal.

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"John Goodman"

Oh, yeah, that's a good point.

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"John Goodman"

Well, I'm almost ashamed to say Brando.

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"John Goodman"

Well, I'm almost ashamed to say Brando. Why? That's great. Yeah, no, a lot of people my age will say that. He just never seen anything like him. Yeah. And I didn't. really pay that much attention to movies. I liked them.

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"John Goodman"

Yeah, no, a lot of people my age will say that.

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"John Goodman"

He just never seen anything like him.

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"John Goodman"

really pay that much attention to movies.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

He looked like he was making it up.

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"John Goodman"

He looked like he was making it up.

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"John Goodman"

And it's this 1950, 1951 movie

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And it's this 1950, 1951 movie looked more like a guy, an incredibly good-looking guy that walked off the street.

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"John Goodman"

looked more like a guy, an incredibly good-looking guy that walked off the street.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

He got more naturalistic.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

He got more naturalistic. Montgomery Clift was another icebreaker.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Montgomery Clift was another icebreaker.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, you're pretty old, Will.

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"John Goodman"

Yeah, you're pretty old, Will.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, I think people are slighting the kids today.

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"John Goodman"

Yeah, I think people are slighting the kids today. are kind of sliding away from that stuff that I was raised with. The group theater, everything was based from that, and the Stanislavskiites, and then the sects that developed among the acting teachers. It seems like people are getting away from that now.

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"John Goodman"

are kind of sliding away from that stuff that I was raised with.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

The group theater, everything was based from that, and the Stanislavskiites, and then the sects that developed among the acting teachers.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It seems like people are getting away from that now.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I was good at comedy in the classroom.

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"John Goodman"

I was good at comedy in the classroom. And when I thought it was still cute to mug. Right. Yeah. No, it has to be necessarily really structured comedy play as opposed to like improv, but there are rules there too and it has its own structure. Yeah. And it can be terribly hard, but when it's easy, man, it applies and there's nothing like it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And when I thought it was still cute to mug.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, it has to be necessarily really structured comedy play as opposed to like improv, but there are rules there too and it has its own structure.

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"John Goodman"

And it can be terribly hard, but when it's easy, man, it applies and there's nothing like it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I'm going right now.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I'm going right now. No, I have to. Wait a minute. I am presently going. It's warm.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I am presently going.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

The worst thing that ever happened to me was in, well, two things happened in this show.

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"John Goodman"

The worst thing that ever happened to me was in, well, two things happened in this show. I was doing a musical in 1985 on Broadway. Okay. And I was doing it for a while. Which one, do you remember? Yeah, Big River. And I was supposed to come out and surprise my son, Huckleberry Finn. And before, I was standing behind this flat waiting to go on, and I couldn't remember my first line.

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"John Goodman"

I was doing a musical in 1985 on Broadway.

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"John Goodman"

And I was doing it for a while.

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"John Goodman"

Which one, do you remember?

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"John Goodman"

And I was supposed to come out and surprise my son, Huckleberry Finn.

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"John Goodman"

And before, I was standing behind this flat waiting to go on, and I couldn't remember my first line.

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"John Goodman"

And I panicked. Oh, God. And I panicked. And it just wouldn't come. And the cue was there, and I was going to step out and say, ladies and gentlemen, I'm so sorry. I can't. And the line popped into my head. But that happened for four nights straight. Yeah, yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And it just wouldn't come.

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"John Goodman"

And the cue was there, and I was going to step out and say, ladies and gentlemen, I'm so sorry.

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"John Goodman"

And the line popped into my head.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

But that happened for four nights straight.

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"John Goodman"

Yeah, as soon as I opened my mouth.

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"John Goodman"

Yeah, as soon as I opened my mouth. Isn't that amazing how that went?

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"John Goodman"

Isn't that amazing how that went?

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah. Yeah. And it's wild. It's right there. And I don't know why it happened. And the second was my son was supposed to hit me in, Huck Finn was supposed to hit me in the jaw with a stool, a three-legged stool. And one night I forgot to, I forgot to put my hand up and throw my head back and I caught it. It drove my jaw back into my head, it knocked me out. And I got up and finished the show.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And I don't know why it happened.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And the second was my son was supposed to hit me in, Huck Finn was supposed to hit me in the jaw with a stool, a three-legged stool.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And one night I forgot to, I forgot to put my hand up and throw my head back and I caught it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It drove my jaw back into my head, it knocked me out.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And I got up and finished the show.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, I finished my scene and then I had to go down the street to the hospital.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, I finished my scene and then I had to go down the street to the hospital.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No. No, but it was touch and go for about five days there when I didn't show up. Understudy started getting stretched out. Yeah. Let him have it for a while. Yeah.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, but it was touch and go for about five days there when I didn't show up.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Understudy started getting stretched out.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Let him have it for a while.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Oh, yeah, you could put a whole dictionary in that half a second.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Oh, yeah, you could put a whole dictionary in that half a second.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

We also had, I think, the first or second preview of the front page.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

We also had, I think, the first or second preview of the front page. Did about five or six years ago. And there were guys that came in, sat in the front row, put their drinks on the stage and their feet up there. And then one guy got up and started going, I love you, John Goodman. I love you, John Goodman. I love... And I go, I'll just not say anything.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Did about five or six years ago.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And there were guys that came in, sat in the front row, put their drinks on the stage and their feet up there.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And then one guy got up and started going, I love you, John Goodman.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I love you, John Goodman.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I love... And I go, I'll just not say anything.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Please make it. And he got up. He walked out of the theater. Just drunk? That was a little frightening.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

He walked out of the theater.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

That was a little frightening.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It's getting worse, too.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It's getting worse, too. It is getting worse.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It is getting worse.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I am a huge fan of you guys as well.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I am a huge fan of you guys as well. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I'm going to cut it short there, but thank you. I really, really appreciate you hanging out with us for an hour. I was terrified at the beginning of this. Oh, man. Really?

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I'm going to cut it short there, but thank you.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I really, really appreciate you hanging out with us for an hour.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I was terrified at the beginning of this.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Thank you for the invite, man.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Thank you for the invite, man. It's been wonderful. Anytime. Thank you. Thanks, Pat. That was fantastic. Thank you, John, very much.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It's been wonderful.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

That was fantastic.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Thank you, John, very much.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

My pleasure. Thank you. It's America's favorite podcast. Thank you for welcoming me into your pod. This is cool.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It's America's favorite podcast.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Thank you for welcoming me into your pod.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I had nowhere else to go.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I had nowhere else to go.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, I sabotaged my own education.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, I sabotaged my own education. The only time I got lit up was... doing plays and I decided to make that my major since I was inches from being thrown out of school. And everything took off after that and as soon as I found out how wonderful it can be, then I started to want to learn. history, English, whatever I needed to pull out of my bag of tricks when performing a role. Oh, wow.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

The only time I got lit up was...

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

doing plays and I decided to make that my major since I was inches from being thrown out of school.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And everything took off after that and as soon as I found out how wonderful it can be, then I started to want to learn.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

history, English, whatever I needed to pull out of my bag of tricks when performing a role.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It was called Southwest Missouri State University.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It was called Southwest Missouri State University. Now it's called Missouri State University. But then you moved to New York. Is that true? That is true. I took the Amtrak from St. Louis to New York in August of 1975. Holy shit.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Now it's called Missouri State University.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

But then you moved to New York.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I took the Amtrak from St.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Louis to New York in August of 1975.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I was a frightened hick.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I was a frightened hick. The main thing I wanted to do was take classes with Uta Hagen and get into the actor's studio and learn some more. And did you get in there? I did not. I left about... Month and a half later, doing a dinner theater, non-equity dinner theater version of 1776. What dinner theater? The La Comedia Dinner Playhouse in Springboro, Ohio.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

The main thing I wanted to do was take classes with Uta Hagen and get into the actor's studio and learn some more.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And did you get in there?

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Month and a half later, doing a dinner theater, non-equity dinner theater version of 1776.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

What dinner theater?

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

The La Comedia Dinner Playhouse in Springboro, Ohio.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Hi, I'm John Goodman, grizzled show business veteran, and you're listening to SmartLess.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Hi, I'm John Goodman, grizzled show business veteran, and you're listening to SmartLess.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Well, that's what I was going to say.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Well, that's what I was going to say. You got the glasses clanking and the forks going. Yeah, and the-

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

You got the glasses clanking and the forks going.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Well, I couldn't get hired for their next shows, but my girlfriend did.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Well, I couldn't get hired for their next shows, but my girlfriend did. So I went down there just to get out of New York and work as a waiter in the dinner theater. Wow. That's amazing. For the summer, but I cut the grass. I did all kinds of odd jobs and made enough money to pay off my student loans that summer. Whoa.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

So I went down there just to get out of New York and work as a waiter in the dinner theater.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

For the summer, but I cut the grass.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I did all kinds of odd jobs and made enough money to pay off my student loans that summer.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No, not at all. I just left. It was a horrible winter, and I was broke, and I couldn't get arrested as a waiter or Anything else? I got one night's work as a bouncer in a club called the Adam's Apple, and they had this German head bouncer who was telling us how to rip guys' mouths open when you got their head down on the curve, and then you stomp the back of their head and their teeth come out.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It was a horrible winter, and I was broke, and I couldn't get arrested as a waiter or

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I got one night's work as a bouncer in a club called the Adam's Apple, and they had this German head bouncer who was telling us how to rip guys' mouths open when you got their head down on the curve, and then you stomp the back of their head and their teeth come out.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Jesus Christ. Check, please. Yeah, I had to show up the next day. So then where did you go at that? That's the only job I had in the city.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, I had to show up the next day.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

So then where did you go at that?

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

That's the only job I had in the city.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Well, it was also, at the time, it was...

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Well, it was also, at the time, it was... Ford, the city, dropped dead. They were defaulting on their loans. The city was just going to hell. The subways were terrifying. You know, the graffiti, all the stuff. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, I was a kid from the suburbs. Yeah. But I was determined to live there because I dug it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Ford, the city, dropped dead.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

They were defaulting on their loans.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

The city was just going to hell.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

The subways were terrifying.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

You know, the graffiti, all the stuff.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And, you know, I was a kid from the suburbs.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

But I was determined to live there because I dug it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, I came back, and then I got my card about...

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, I came back, and then I got my card about... Like a month after that. Your equity card or SAG card? Yeah, my equity card doing a bus and truck of the robber bridegroom. Oh, my God. That is so... And so how old were you? You were about 20? What, 24? Yeah, 23, 24.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Like a month after that.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Your equity card or SAG card?

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, my equity card doing a bus and truck of the robber bridegroom.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

That is so... And so how old were you?

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

You were about 20?

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

No. The way I look back on it now, it unfolds itself like it was a calling. I mean, I used to get kicked out of, when I'd get kicked out of a class, they'd send me to the library, and I would sit there and read plays. And I'm like 14, 15 years old. I have no idea why. Was anybody in your family doing that? No. My brother was a fan of theater. He's a bit older than me.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

The way I look back on it now, it unfolds itself like it was a calling.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I mean, I used to get kicked out of, when I'd get kicked out of a class, they'd send me to the library, and I would sit there and read plays.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And I'm like 14, 15 years old.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I have no idea why.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Was anybody in your family doing that?

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

My brother was a fan of theater.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

He's a bit older than me.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And we'd go into Clayton, Missouri, and pick up the New York Times every Sunday, literally.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And we'd go into Clayton, Missouri, and pick up the New York Times every Sunday, literally. It weighed a ton back then. And I would go to the Arts and Leisures and basically to look at the Hirschfeld cartoons. And then I'd just start following what shows were up. I had no idea why. You just enjoyed it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

It weighed a ton back then.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And I would go to the Arts and Leisures and basically to look at the Hirschfeld cartoons.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And then I'd just start following what shows were up.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I had no idea why.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

You just enjoyed it.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I had to have attention.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I had to have attention. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, learning was... Learning bad, attention good. Yeah, I had the same problem.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, learning was...

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Learning bad, attention good.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah, I had the same problem.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I had a series of little breaks.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I had a series of little breaks. When I got back from... The tour, at one time, I had a bunch of pictures, you know, resumes, stapled them all together, and in desperation, I was sending them out to theaters. One guy at Great Advertising picked up my picture, called me in, I got the gig, and he set me up with commercial agents. And then... I couldn't not get them for some reason.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

When I got back from...

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

The tour, at one time, I had a bunch of pictures, you know, resumes, stapled them all together, and in desperation, I was sending them out to theaters.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

One guy at Great Advertising picked up my picture, called me in, I got the gig, and he set me up with commercial agents.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I couldn't not get them for some reason.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I've been goofing off on them my whole life.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I've been goofing off on them my whole life.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Yeah. You know what I mean?

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

You know what I mean?

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

By that time, I was hanging out with a lot of real, real actors at a place up on the west side.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

By that time, I was hanging out with a lot of real, real actors at a place up on the west side. Yeah. I got to hate myself for doing commercials. I was all screwed up and I was really getting into drinking at the time. And I resented doing commercials because other guys were doing what I thought was real work. Right. So I didn't care. I think that's why I got so many of them. Right, right, right.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I got to hate myself for doing commercials.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I was all screwed up and I was really getting into drinking at the time.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And I resented doing commercials because other guys were doing what I thought was real work.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

I think that's why I got so many of them.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

Right, right, right.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And I got a lot of them.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And I got a lot of them.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

The lighting alone, man, would take forever to set up.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

The lighting alone, man, would take forever to set up. And it had to be just right and the product just right.

SmartLess
"John Goodman"

And it had to be just right and the product just right.