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John C. Reilly

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SubwayTakes

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1008.99

I mean, the fact that he has been thinking about it, thought about it for so long, and then took the time out of his busy schedule to apologize, I think that's a nice gesture.

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1033.043

I think he just realized at one point. I think he realized at one point And you know when you realize something and you're in bed and you're like, I just did a bad thing. It's me thinking about the beginning of this episode when I said ladyboys. It's the same concept. Now I'm thinking about it minutes later and I'm like, was that a bad thing to say? Even though I was not saying it.

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1053.754

I was just reading someone's lyrics. But that's probably going to haunt me. When this episode comes out, it's going to haunt me that I said ladyboys. Don't be haunted. Haunted is aggressive. Even though you can say ladyboys. You can say ladyboys. Yeah, if you're reading it. Anyways...

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he also dropped um inshallah when in my in my chat with him oh i was gonna say i didn't see that in the episode i said it's all good man don't sweat it at all thank you for cleansing your soul and reaching out and then he said inshallah thanks for taking it with good humor oh so that just means he's down I think he's down to clown. Yeah, he's down. He's down. I mean, here's the thing.

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That episode, I was a little shook because I thought he was going to be a goofy lad, and that's probably because my favorite John C. Reilly films are when he's a silly lad. But what I realized very quickly is that he's just a very serious actor, and he's a good actor, but he's such a good actor that he can act the silliest. But he's not silly.

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Like what kind of sons would you prefer? You wouldn't prefer other sons.

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No, he's very serious. He's not a bit guy. He doesn't do bits. What was he like when the cameras were off? He was serious.

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don't even know dude we were talking about I mean I kept making mistake after mistake I was like my favorite movie stepbrothers I love it and he was like oh he got kind of offended by that I don't know if he was offended I mean he's a broad he's a serious actor I think he I think I think he's just a very talented person and he's a sensitive artist and I think that if I was him and I was a very serious good actor I

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1163.377

I would also be pissed if everyone thought that I was great in Step Brothers and then ignored everything else I'd ever done. You know what I mean? It's like me being known for Subway takes.

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I don't want to be Subway guy. Yeah. I don't like when I'm in the street and somebody goes, Subway takes. I would rather have them say my name.

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That's... Well, you're also not bringing up the fact that he's a pedophile, which I think is really weird.

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You brought up the weight loss before you brought up that. I did bring up the weight loss.

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Subway, my parents didn't used to let me go to Subway when I was young.

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No, they were just like, it's a sandwich.

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You don't have honey mustard at home.

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1251.779

What are top? Yeah, but when you go when you make like when you go to subway right, you probably get the same thing every time. Yeah. You're not like, oh, I'm going to get the meatball sub today. I've never tried that. You have a sandwich that you get. Same with Jimmy John's.

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Turkey Tom? You a Turkey Tom?

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Okay, so what's in the Vito that you don't have at home? What are the rare ingredients that you don't have at home that are in the Vito?

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Brother. I'm just saying. I guess what you don't have at your house. So the Vito has salami. You don't have that. Capocolo, you don't have that. Provolone, you don't have that. Onion, you probably have. Lettuce, you may have. Tomato, you definitely have. Oil and vinegar, you absolutely have. And oregano basil. So that's 50%. Yes. You don't have 50%.

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When I used to go to Chinese food restaurants, all you can eat with my family when I was young, my dad wouldn't allow me to eat anything except for crab and shrimp. Oh, to get your money's worth. That's smart. Yeah, we would go to the all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet or the all-you-can-eat American buffet. Both of them have shrimp as well as crabs.

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And I would come back with a plate of mac and cheese. He'd be like, you literally can't eat that. He would make me throw it away.

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Well, you could think of it as an abundance mindset. He's like, we are currently in abundance, so you should treat it accordingly and feast. I think that's why I'm obsessed with seafood towers. Yeah, yeah. Maybe my obsession is like, look at me. I have so much shrimp.

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Not only do I have shrimp, I have mussels as well as clams, as well as ceviche on the third layer, which I rarely get to, as well as many other accoutrements.

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That's so sick. God. I mean, that is how I feel when I get it. And that is why I get it. Every time a seafood tower is on a menu, I will get it. And the reason I like to get it is because then everyone looks at me. Yeah. Yeah. Like I don't particularly, particularly, I don't like clams.

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uh yeah it's not it's the one it's the one that i think people are most on the fence about yeah i went i was in miami uh this for the past week and i always make it a point to go to joe's stone crab have you ever been there uh i have i've although weirdly i've only had it to go so i actually don't know what it's like at the restaurant yeah So the restaurant is awesome.

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It feels like an old school Italian restaurant, except it's in Miami and it is based on crabs. But they also have hash browns and fried chicken and other foods. But the interior is like Bomonti or something. It's nice. It's a fun place to go have a big dinner with a group of people. And I did Joe's to go for the first time, actually, ever. So it's funny you bring that up. Nice.

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Because I was with the grandma, the baby, the wife, my mom. I'm like, this is kind of a lame crowd to go to the Joe's with.

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I was like, this is not baller. It's not baller. I mean, it's endearing.

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You do look like a good guy. You look like a good guy if you do that. And I was going to do it at like 5 p.m., which is like good guy hours. But ultimately, we were really tired because the baby didn't sleep, which is why we came home two days early. But I ordered Joe's stone crab takeout, and it was $450. Yeah, I was actually just going to ask what was the damage on that.

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And I made sure to tell my mom. It's like, yo, I'm doing all right. I'm doing all right. I was like, by the way, mom, this order was $450. And what was her reaction? I think she was embarrassed for me because I was bragging about how rich I am.

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Well, but I was trying to make her proud. And I explained that to her, actually, because Karina also was like, that's not cool.

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Yeah, but I was like, I'm in the company of my family and I'm celebrating my daughter's first birthday. I can be a baller and I want everyone to go, we're balling. I wanted everyone to partake in the fact that I ordered $450 worth of craps. And no one partook. That's the difference between being with the homies because then we're all sharing in the wealth.

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The bill comes, Amex Platinum, Amex Delta Platinum Reserve, Chase Sapphire Reserve, you know, all the metal cards come banging on the table. Nice. Makes that Clinton sound. Yeah. And no one ever says, hey, like, I didn't have a drink, so can I not pay more? Right.

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Well, no, no, no. That's with the family though. But if we're going to dinner and I don't eat the clams, for example, I'm not going to say, guys, I didn't eat the clams. Of course not. I'm going to pay for the clams I didn't eat. I think that's a sign of real success.

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I know, but no one picks up. I don't know that many people that pick up the tab. I guess I'm not doing that well. I'm in the company of people who don't ask how much it was and also don't say anything about my share. It's always let's split equally, which I think is a power. Many people don't look at the bill. We just put our cards down.

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And I feel like that's a really good place to be, but I guess there's a level above that is what you're saying. Yeah, you're at upper middle class. Are you in the zone where people just pick up the tab? Some people pick up the tab.

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I mean, I would pick up the tab, but only so people know I'm a baller. Right. Well, yes. I pick up the tab if it's a business thing. If I've invited someone to dinner and it's a business discussion, I'll pick up the tab.

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No, I'm giving a delivery fee.

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Yeah, I have to do a delivery fee. But I mean, that shit's fire. I love Joe Stone Crab.

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No, it was buffet style. We set it up on the counter. So we had two chopped salads, four orders of crabs, one creamed spinach, and one hash brown potatoes. And then two key lime pie slices for dessert. So all of the meal was on the counter, and then everyone had plates, and it was buffet style, and you'd go load up and then sit back at the table. It was great. I'm actually looking here.

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Subtotal, $368. So it actually wasn't insane. It's $368, service fee $14.99, estimated tax $34, Dasher tip $10, which I think is fair. Total, $427.70.

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I didn't have a car. I know. Anyways, I got to find a new spot that's not Miami, I've decided.

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Well, the baby wouldn't stop crying. It wasn't Miami's fault. It's just I think babies don't like new environments. And the reason I want to find a new place, though, is I feel like when I go to Miami, I don't really do anything because I'm doing so many things in New York. Yeah.

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But I think I can find a place that has a pool and a beach and like two good restaurants in many other places around this country that is like cheaper lodging.

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Should we take the escalator? How do you feel about escalators? I don't mind an escalator. Let's go. In my experience, people don't like escalators sometimes, so I just had to ask you, how do you feel about escalators?

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How come rappers always like going to Turks and Caicos?

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No, seriously, though. Rappers are always rapping about Turks and Caicos. I think because you can also rhyme with Caicos. What is Turks and Caicos short for? That's just what it is. No, it's Turkish and Caicos. You know what the capital of Turks and Caicos is? No, what is it? Cockburn Town. Is it? You would go to Cockburn Town.

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You know it's an archipelago, right?

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Did you know that they are known primarily for tourism and offshore bank accounts? That's literally what they're known for. It's my kind of place. It's on brand. That's so tight.

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These are the things that are with the baby, though. That is the problem. We're going to leave her behind from now on.

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No child left behind except for my child. Exactly. She'll never listen to this podcast. God, I hope not. She won't.

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Yeah, you heard about the rumor that everyone knows about.

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Anyways, I'm glad that Nora won Best Picture last night.

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I mean, look at the sharp teeth. The rumor is that your shoelace gets stuck in there, and...

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I know, and you know what's fucking great? Yeah, I mean, it's so sick to be the director, the editor, and the writer, and to win. I mean, that's unreal. Yeah. And one more. I don't remember what the last thing was, but he won four awards. That's crazy.

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Being the best director, the best editor, and the best writer, and then whatever the last thing was, it's not like somebody else won four on behalf of the movie. Like Sean Baker won. That's so tight. Did he DP it? Maybe that's what he won for. No, there's no way.

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It just says he won four Oscars.

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Anthony was very happy for this win.

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I know. He posted an Instagram story today. He posts a lot though. Oh, first person since Walt Disney to win four Oscars in one night in 1954. Damn. Pretty fucking good. Yeah. Pretty fucking good.

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I started in the beginning and then I got really tired and then I was like, I gotta go home.

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wasn't really paying attention to the swag okay i'll tell you what i thought timothy's outfit i didn't know if i like that color on him yeah but i like the cut of the suit yeah he's been he's been wearing a lot of colors recently he's been he's got a stylist his stylist is exploring options so he's young hollywood man he's young hollywood i mean people seem to i mean he is beloved yeah do you see a speech at um the was it the saga awards

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Yeah, I posted on my close friends, which you're probably not on because I don't know what you're... Oh, you have a new Instagram account, actually. I just launched that. How did that feel to launch a new Instagram account at age 650?

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I like the picture that you have.

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I don't know. Is that the picture? I thought you had a picture of your desk.

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Right. Maybe put the desk in there. Okay, I'll do that. I think it's funny you put the desk in there.

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Well, I keep tagging you against your will. Yeah, no consent. So I think that slowly over time, once people discover you, you'll get more followers. Okay, I like that. I'm excited.

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I don't know what it's going to look like.

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Why are you talking so quietly?

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It's a directional mic. You need to put your fucking mouth on top of it.

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Do you see how I've not moved?

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I mean, you can move it like this. You can, you can move around. You just got to move the mic with you.

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It sounds exactly the same, but at least you can move.

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I think so. I hope there are listeners.

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No, have you ever played a role where you have to eat on camera?

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I mean, I don't know, man. I didn't want to do that. I had to do it. I had to pod out of necessity. I had to pod. I have a call in nine minutes. Oh, fuck.

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It's about the diner show, tonight's special. We're launching it on YouTube on March 15th.

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Tonight's special. And it's being released on this massive YouTube channel called Amaletto, which in my opinion is a win because really all of these things are labors of love in which you want as many people as possible to see.

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Amoletto is like the premier short film destination on YouTube. They have 4 million subs. Oh, nice. And they just release short films. You know, they like curate short films. It's like Vimeo staff picks, except huge.

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But like I'm looking at their, I'm looking at like their, yeah, there's like Maisie Williams, Elizabeth Winstead, Stephen Young, Barry Keoghan, Guy Pearce, Amanda Siegfried. I mean, they have like talent, like real talent premiere short films or is featured in short films that are on there.

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Yeah, we were going to turn it into a show and then, you know, life gets... Things get busy.

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So now... I think so. I think we're all happy with the outcome. Oh, it's 29 minutes. I think that it's really hard to kind of operate in the Hollywood system at the moment. And so, you know, like Sean Baker style, baby. Make things, release them, independent. And then when they're ready, that's my new approach. When Hollywood is ready, they know where to find me. Literally.

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They literally know where to find me.

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They can just find me there. My email's there. Chris's email's there. Your email's there. Everyone's there. They can DM me.

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I'm going to be like Bill Murray.

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I'm just going to enjoy life. That's what life is. You're meant to enjoy life.

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Joe's Stone Crabs. Well, I got to go.

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See you later. Bye. Have a good weekend.

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Don't forget not to hang out after you end this recording.

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I don't like it when they say, how's everything going?

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Yeah, that is one of my biggest pet peeves.

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That's one of my hot takes.

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I think that's an American thing, though. If you go to Italy, if you go to France, like Paris and stuff, people are wearing real regular good clothes. They're wearing clothes. They got out of it. Because right now, everyone seems like they're still dressed for the pandemic. Right. They're like, you know what? I'm staying home and wearing pajamas all day.

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But I'm like, no, you're going to Whole Foods.

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Oh, Mr. Oscar. What's your favorite John C. Reilly film?

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You've only seen Step Brothers once?

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I like that you can oscillate between a funnyman. A funnyman. That's very Eric Warheim of you. And then a seriousman. Yeah. The Gangs of New York is crazy to watch you in Gangs of New York. Because you're kind of buff and hot.

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Steve Bruhl's a deep cut, and he's a good guy. He is a good guy. And I feel like he doesn't get as much attention as he deserves.

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I loved that it was not expected. I thought from the trailer it was going to be like this romance, but it kind of turned into something else.

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I'm out. I think it's a big problem in America. One of the bigger problems in America is actually the corporatization of... It goes into a bigger thing, which is that restaurants used to be about personality and vibes. And it's like, how you doing?

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You know why? Because I was walking my baby the other day, and she was sleeping. And then Mr. pulled up, and she woke up and started crying. And then I'm dealing with a freaking leaf blower guy. I'm dealing with a freaking crying baby.

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Oh, God, you're so frazzled. Am I frazzled? Yeah, you fucking were late almost. I mean, we've spent 20 minutes fiddling with this recording software. Who would have thought podcasting was such a difficult thing?

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No, you're not frazzled, but I don't know what's happening. I think it might be because I've been listening to Dave Blunt all day. I'm feeling frazzled.

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What would be your rating? I mean, it's a very good song. It's called Out the Hospital. First day out the hospital, which you can imagine the kind of frazzled energy one might have if they were leaving the hospital. And it was their first day. It was their first day out. I mean, the first lyric in the song is, I was hooked up to the oxygen when I sat down on that stage.

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Stupid bitch trying to clout change. Had to cut her off. She a lame. Don't give a fuck about Isabel because she only want me for the fame. Those are the first lyrics of the song.

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She's definitely real. I mean, she's definitely, Dave Blunt is incredible. Yeah. He should be celebrated. Like, I don't know why he's not celebrated. Well, we celebrate him. I mean, this is, I mean, the lyrics to the song, he's talking about someone named Can-Can. I don't know who Can-Can is, but he says, and Can-Can talking shit, but I heard he like lady boys. Oh.

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And then he said, yeah, can-can fuck with transgenders. He might be a gay n-word. He might be the type to find out she a man and stay with her. And when they hear the song, they're going to say I'm homophobic. But can-can fuck with ladyboys, I just think he should own it. It's a positive message.

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He's saying that Can Can, if Can Can likes ladyboys, he should scream it from the rooftops. Right, right. Rather than hide, like do it in secret, which I agree with Dave Blount.

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Well, no, I think in Thailand, they call them ladyboys.

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america i guess you can say whatever you want but i mean i was not thinking about it as a slur i was just repeating lyrics from someone i respect deeply yeah dave blunts do you remember when we first heard of dave blunts yeah of course yeah i mean i heard i discovered him and i sent him to you that's true you were you were first on it but i think young rami was on it first actually and he was like yeah everyone knows who dave blunts is

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I think you have to put that mic directly in front of your mouth like a dick.

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Move the mic, not your face. Don't move your face. Move the mic.

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You should talk into the top of the mic like it's a big fat cock. Like this? Nope. No? Other direction, buddy. Oh, like this? Into the top, yes. That would be the top. But now you're on mute because you pressed the button.

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I don't know why we bought these mics.

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They put way too much tech.

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So this John C. Reilly episode.

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Quite funny. It was funny. I think it's quite funny.

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I mean, that part was crazy. Yeah. When he called me Shareem, I was shook. But because, as you've seen on many emails that we're CC'd on, people have a very... My name is not complicated. No. But I get Kareem, Shareem, Fareem, Kareem. I mean, you've seen the emails.

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Krem is sick, though. Krem is sick. The other ones are crazy. Shareem is crazy. The fact that John C. Reilly thought that Shareem was a name... is literally crazy.

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I don't think I could be a Shurim. I don't think Shurim's a real name, but you know what the best part of the Shurim episode is? What? I'm sure a lot of the watchers caught that part, right? They were like, haha, they called him Shurim.

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But do you think that the people that are listening to the show caught it? Yeah, I think so. Well, let me tell you something. John C. Reilly texted me days later. I'm going to read his text verbatim because he also realized that he called me Shereen. And he texted me days later and he said, this is verbatim his text, John C. Reilly. He said, hey, Kareem. That's a good sign. Yeah.

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He said, Hey, Kareem, it's John Riley. Thanks again for having me on the subway. I hope what I said was funny and not just an old white man bitching about things. Haha. Anyways, I'm also haunted by the fact that I called you Shereen at one point. I misheard someone call you that and just went with it anyways. Anyway, man, all the best. And I said, ha, ha, ha, ha, no worries, man. It was super fun.

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And I believe it was actually Harim, but it's going to be a great episode. And I actually didn't know if it was Harim or Sharim. And then he said, it may have sounded like Harim, but it was Sharim, much to my everlasting cringe. And then we went back and forth and he said that he was haunted by it for days. This was like five days later.