John Ballen

I was in Afghanistan in 2014 as a Navy SEAL. We're in the middle of this gunfight, and a grenade came over the wall, and it detonated. And I'm waiting to either be shot by the enemy or I'm going to bleed to death. And all that was running through my head was, and that's the way I think people should look at their lives.

I was in Afghanistan in 2014 as a Navy SEAL. We're in the middle of this gunfight, and a grenade came over the wall, and it detonated. And I'm waiting to either be shot by the enemy or I'm going to bleed to death. And all that was running through my head was, and that's the way I think people should look at their lives.

My family were very successful people with Pulitzer Prizes, PhD. And then there's me getting into street fights and about to get expelled. But it took becoming a colossal failure to realize that if you want to fix this, you have to start with saying it's my fault and then do something about it. But then fear becomes the thing keeping people from doing it.

My family were very successful people with Pulitzer Prizes, PhD. And then there's me getting into street fights and about to get expelled. But it took becoming a colossal failure to realize that if you want to fix this, you have to start with saying it's my fault and then do something about it. But then fear becomes the thing keeping people from doing it.

And it's the very select number of people in this life say, I'm going to still do that thing that scares the out of me and have the best and most fulfilling life. And so I decided to become a Navy SEAL because it was only a really small percent that make it through the grueling, mentally torturing training And what's the similarities that you noticed between the people that made it? Two words.

And it's the very select number of people in this life say, I'm going to still do that thing that scares the out of me and have the best and most fulfilling life. And so I decided to become a Navy SEAL because it was only a really small percent that make it through the grueling, mentally torturing training And what's the similarities that you noticed between the people that made it? Two words.

It's... But then I realized the reality of the job. You kill people. And I had really leaned into being as, like, alpha as I possibly could be, but there were just some things that I did, and I just... I struggled so, so bad. I had to face my demons. What have you learned about dealing with demons? If you begin to have those thoughts, the only way I have found to sort of cope with them is...

It's... But then I realized the reality of the job. You kill people. And I had really leaned into being as, like, alpha as I possibly could be, but there were just some things that I did, and I just... I struggled so, so bad. I had to face my demons. What have you learned about dealing with demons? If you begin to have those thoughts, the only way I have found to sort of cope with them is...

I think it all starts with, you know, the family I was born into were like very successful academic people. So I was born in a town called Quincy, Massachusetts. It's just south of Boston, Mass. And, you know, my mother, father, and two sisters are like brilliant minds in like the academic sense of the word, just like brilliant.

I think it all starts with, you know, the family I was born into were like very successful academic people. So I was born in a town called Quincy, Massachusetts. It's just south of Boston, Mass. And, you know, my mother, father, and two sisters are like brilliant minds in like the academic sense of the word, just like brilliant.

You know, my sister, one of my sisters has gone on to win two Pulitzer Prizes. My dad's won a Pulitzer Prize. My... And this doesn't even flex, but to give you a sense of the people in my life, my other sister like has a PhD and she like worked out of a Harvard lab. My mom was a professional writer. And then there's me.

You know, my sister, one of my sisters has gone on to win two Pulitzer Prizes. My dad's won a Pulitzer Prize. My... And this doesn't even flex, but to give you a sense of the people in my life, my other sister like has a PhD and she like worked out of a Harvard lab. My mom was a professional writer. And then there's me.

When I was growing up, I could have done well in school, you know, but I didn't want to. It was sort of like my form of rebellion was being a bad student willfully. And I would like go out and party with my friends and just was like –

When I was growing up, I could have done well in school, you know, but I didn't want to. It was sort of like my form of rebellion was being a bad student willfully. And I would like go out and party with my friends and just was like –

trying to be sort of like a bad kid in a way and also like the town i grew up in was sort of a it was not a place where academics really thrived it's like a really working class like hard and tough place i mean quincy's becoming much much nicer but it was a little bit of a tough place And I sort of wanted to be like an edgy, like tough guy.

trying to be sort of like a bad kid in a way and also like the town i grew up in was sort of a it was not a place where academics really thrived it's like a really working class like hard and tough place i mean quincy's becoming much much nicer but it was a little bit of a tough place And I sort of wanted to be like an edgy, like tough guy.

And so I'd like get into street fights and get my ass kicked. And like, I'd like stay out drinking with my friends. But what it did is it set me up for like colossal failure by the time I got to college. I got into college because my mom, the professional writer,

And so I'd like get into street fights and get my ass kicked. And like, I'd like stay out drinking with my friends. But what it did is it set me up for like colossal failure by the time I got to college. I got into college because my mom, the professional writer,

wrote my college essay and my grades were horrible in high school in fact so bad that when i sent off my application the the school got in touch with me and they were like hey your grades are not really what we're looking for but boy that essay was so beautiful we're going to give you a chance so i get into college i go to the university of massachusetts out in western mass it's like where a lot of kids where i was growing up that's where they went to school it's a big party school and

wrote my college essay and my grades were horrible in high school in fact so bad that when i sent off my application the the school got in touch with me and they were like hey your grades are not really what we're looking for but boy that essay was so beautiful we're going to give you a chance so i get into college i go to the university of massachusetts out in western mass it's like where a lot of kids where i was growing up that's where they went to school it's a big party school and