John Assaraf
Appearances
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
The chemicals that are released will only last in your body for 90 seconds if you just stay present and focused on releasing the energy in motion.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Now, there's other people who are going to listen or watch this and go, oh, my God, mornings, I'm a basket case. I can't even feed myself in the morning. Finding the coffee pot is hard. I used to be married to a wonderful woman who used to believe that if God wanted her to see the sun, he would have it rise at noon.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
She would stay up till two o'clock in the morning and she would get more done from 9 p.m. to two o'clock than she did before noon every day because she didn't want to get out of bed till 10, 11, 12 o'clock. And her natural cycle for her was that. And we had a polar opposite schedules, you know, naturally. And we had to see if it would work.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
And it created some challenges in our former relationship. And my wife now, who I've been married to and together with for 20 plus years, is an early riser like I am. She goes from like 6.30 till 8.30. I go from about 6 till 10. And we have, you know, the same types of schedules. So it really is important to know your own rhythm and not try to change it if it's hard, right?
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Like not everybody needs to wake up or can wake up at 5.30, but some people have to. And it caused them to be exhausted for the first part of the day. Like most kids shouldn't go to school early in the morning. They should have kids start school at 10 o'clock in the morning.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
if anybody's watching us you're going to see behind me and if you're listening only then behind me are two photos up on my wall over my right shoulder there's albert einstein and over my left shoulder there's frankenstein's monster and i want you to imagine that you have a frankenstein's monster in your mind or in your brain and you have an albert einstein you know that has phenomenal imagination and incredible smarts
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Well, what happens with the Einstein part of the brain is it can choose what we want. It can imagine a better future. It can imagine people giving you a high five after you get on stage or doing anything that might seem a little bit risky like, meeting somebody new at a cocktail party and talking to them. It doesn't matter.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
But Frankenstein's monster is another part of the brain that is actually one of the most amazing parts of your brain that you need to learn how to love. And it's your early warning detection mechanism. Now, what is that? Well, imagine you're driving your car. And all of a sudden, you hear something beeping on your dash.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
You look around, you realize, oh, to the left of me, there's a car that's really close or to the right or behind me, there's a car that's really close. And the radar picks this up and gives you a signal that there's danger. Be aware. Do you love that or do you love that?
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Well, of course you love that because it's given you the ability to use a radar, right, to give you an awareness of your surrounding. Or what if you're low on gas and you're on the highway and you're talking to the kids and all of a sudden a light goes up on your dash saying, stop and go get some gas. You like that, right, because it's an early warning detection mechanism.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Well, this one part of our brain, it's called the right prefrontal cortex and the amygdala is wired. I mean, it is wired from hundreds of thousands of years of evolution to give you an early warning
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
whenever there's any real or potential immediate danger or danger coming up that can cause you to get hurt mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually, any real or imagined scenario where this is so important right here, you might be embarrassed, ashamed, ridiculed, judged, rejected, unloved, or disappointed.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
So when you're getting ready to go up on stage, and let's say you've done this a few times, you feel confident, right? You know what you're saying, but there's another part of your brain that says, well, what if they don't receive my message the way I want it? What if I forget something? What if, and we usually will place a what if negative
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
in the subconscious that gives the electrical signal to release the neurochemicals of stress, which is cortisol or epinephrine or adrenaline. So all of a sudden our heart starts to beat, we start to narrow our focus and our brains think about all the what if negative stuff.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
And then what happens is we focus on that negative possibility that might happen in the future, but we're feeling the neurochemistry of it right now. So I've often said there isn't a person alive that's afraid of public speaking. Nobody's afraid of public speaking. They're afraid of what might happen if they speak in public and they're embarrassed, ashamed, ridiculed, judged, rejected, accepted.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
That's what they're actually moving away from. Well, what if I shared with you that in that nanosecond, the chemicals that are released will only last in your body for 90 seconds if you just stay present and focused on releasing the energy, the energy in motion. Think about it. Chemicals are released in your blood. It changes the vibrational field of your body.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
That's why you say, I feel stressed. I feel anxious. I feel worried. I feel, right? The feeling is our awareness of what's happening in our body. Well, what we know from a science perspective is that means that the sympathetic is the automatic reactive stress system. The polar opposite of that is the calm to respond system.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
So how do Navy SEALs get trained to stay calm under pressure or firefighters or astronauts or athletes at the Olympics? How do they learn that in these stressful situations where those neurochemicals are rushing wild, How do they use that neurochemistry as their fuel to succeed? Well, most people are not aware that if they take, and I call this take six, calm the circuit.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
And if I take slow, very, very slow, deep breath in through my nose, fill up my diaphragm, fill up my lungs, And then if I take my focus on my lips, and as I'm breathing out, I pretend there's a straw in my mouth, and I breathe it out as slowly as I can. If I do that five or six times, take 60 to 90 seconds at most, we can actually in an fMRI machine,
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
See the blood flowing away from the part of our brain, that Frankenstein's monster that's got activated because it's worried that you might get emotionally or mentally or physically or financially hurt. It calms down. The circuit switches. And all of a sudden, the Einstein brain comes back online to say, hey, hold on. You've practiced this. You know your stuff. The audience is great.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
They want you to succeed. I can do this. Let's go. And you've just shifted your entire nervous system, your self-talk and your focus towards what you want versus what might happen that your brain automatically is trying to protect you from it happening. So these are very, very, very sensitive circuits that get triggered like a light switch on or off.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
You're walking down the street, you're about to go off the sidewalk, and all of a sudden you hear the tires of a car maybe 30 feet away. And if you jump back on the street, that's automatic because sound travels automatically. Okay, the speed of sound and your subconscious is processing this. And then it's activating neural circuits around cars coming really fast.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Don't get off of the sidewalk, jump back on the sidewalk before you even had a chance to think about it. These are all subconscious processes that happen beneath our level of moment by moment awareness. However, when we have a feeling of stress, We can be aware of that. We just have to listen to what we're saying. We have to pay attention to our behavior. We go, oh, hold on.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Something's triggered the stress center of my brain. First, let me calm it down and let me turn on the circuit that allow me to respond in a calm way. So the stress circuit's automatic, but the calm circuit is deliberate.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Right. So where do thoughts come from? Were you born with a basket or a reservoir of thoughts from before another life? Were you born? No. So would you agree that our thoughts are like effervescent bubbles that are percolating from our subconscious mind? Yeah, we probably get that visual. What if I shared with you a little technique with red bubbles and blue bubbles?
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Red bubbles are disempowering, negative, automatic, destructive. So it'd be disempowering, could be negative or destructive thoughts. And we all have them, right? Because we've seen stuff on TV. We've read stuff. We've experienced stuff. We've witnessed stuff. So those thoughts are in our memory bank. But we also have positive stuff.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Now, first thing, we have about 6,200 thoughts a day, new research. Not 50,000, not 75,000, about 6,200 during our waking hours. Now, our brain remembers a negative, disempowering experience that we've read about, seen, watched, whatever, 10 times faster than it does a positive one. 10 times faster. So the memory is created faster around something negative and traumatic, for example.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Traumatic is actually 1,000 times faster. So it's in the memory bank. And just like earlier I shared that behaviors have a trigger, so do thoughts. So let's say we want to achieve something. When we say, I want to achieve this. I want to make more money. I want to be in a better relationship. I want to start a business. I want to write a book. I want to travel the world.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
I want to leave my job and get a new one. We get excited because we activate the reward center, the feel good possibility network. Oh my God, that would be so great. But then right beneath that, The Frankenstein's monster goes, hey, hey, hey, let me share with you what's in this little bubble machine. OK, that could be the negative thoughts around this.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
And it starts to percolate all these negative thoughts. So imagine that thoughts are just effervescent bubbles, positive or negative, empowering, disappointing, constructive or destructive. But they're just thoughts. What if you could just be aware of the red, negative, disempowering thoughts and just observe them and go, keep going? And what if you can just say, I'm choosing.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Now I'm going to be in a state of mindful awareness. I'm going to choose what I want to focus on. Now, you and I have thoughts, but we're not our thoughts, right? But the thoughts that we grab onto and emotionalize and follow through on become dominant thoughts. Most people's thoughts are 70, 80, in some cases, 90% or more negative, disempowering, destructive because of their childhood.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
and their experiences. Now, if you've been in the self-help world where you read positive stuff, you're around positive people, you've seen people overcome health issues, financial issues, business issues, relationship issues, whatever it is, you see that, then those possibility thoughts are there too. But negative and positive are always there.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Our strength comes from what is it that I'm choosing to latch onto and increase the amplitude of the vibration with my focus and attention. So awareness is what gives us choice, and the choice is what expands through our decisions. So you're never going to be able to control 6,200 thoughts. Your brain is naturally wired to find the negative for survival, safety, avoidance of pain or discomfort.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
So it is a part of your brain you want to start loving. Now, Barbara Fredrickson did some research many, many years ago, and it's now known as the three to one positivity to negativity ratio. For every negative thought that you find yourself like latching onto, stop, replace it with three positive thoughts. Now you start to tilt the ratio, you know, in your favor.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
So you have way fewer what we call automatic negative thoughts. You replace them with automatic positive thoughts. Automatic negative emotion, ANAPTS is what we call the first one. AN is what we call automatic negative emotions. Emotions are triggered in the subconscious mind to give rise to feelings.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
So if I have an automatic negative emotion or feeling, what does a Hollywood actor or actress do when they say to them, okay, scene two, take one. I want you to be angry in this role. And the actor actually goes, what do you mean I can't go over there today? I want to go over there today. And they say, okay, act two, scene two, be super happy about it. I said, wow, I get to go there today.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
I'm so freaking happy. What about act two, scene three, be really, really sad? I can't believe I've got to go there today. You can flip emotions on demand. It's just turning on a state. in your brain.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Now, what happens with a lot of people is, when they get into, let's say, a negative emotional pattern or a negative thought pattern, they hold on to it, and it hijacks them, and then they reinforce it.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
And they think about what they don't want, and they feel what they don't want, and they think about what they feel, and they feel what they think about, and they reinforce the pattern, and now it becomes a habitual pattern. Instead of saying, okay, I had a shitty childhood. I was traumatized. I was this. I was that. She did this to me. He did this to me. I lost this. I failed here. Great. Okay.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Welcome to life. Now, how do I flip the switch? How do I flip the switch? Now, the control goes back to you. And if we give the control to our thoughts, we're victims of it. If we give our control to our emotions, we're victims of the emotions. If we give our control to the past, we're victims of the past. And all we have is the present moment.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
And so now we can say, let me use my brain since I'm not my brain. Let me use my brain. I always have one on my desk to remind me. It's like a $100 billion organ that I own. I don't owe any money on this. It's mortgage-free. Now, I just want to learn how to use it better. And we've built quantum computers for hundreds of billions of dollars that don't do what yours and my brain naturally does.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Heather, it's great to be back and you look fabulous.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
And contrary to most people's beliefs that don't know this, functionally, every brain works the same. Functionally, every gas car works the same. Functionally, every electrical car works the same. Functionally, every bike or trike works the same. So functionally, they work the same. Is it possible for me to be a better driver? Now we enter my domain of, well, how can I use my brain better?
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Great first question. Great first question. So first up, you weren't born with any beliefs. You weren't born with any fears. You weren't born with any self-image and you weren't born with any skills and you certainly weren't born with any habits. All of those things are nothing more than patterns that got reinforced in the brain. Some are constructive and lift you up and build you up.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Some are destructive and tear you down. Some are positive, some are negative. Some empower you, some disempower you. All are just patterns. And no differently than you can renovate your home, you can rewire your mind. You can have an upgraded software, shall we say, like you upgrade your cell phone software or your computer software, or you renovate your home or your bathroom.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Why not renovate some of the neural patterns using the latest in what is known as neuroplasticity, the brain's ability to create new connections and then reinforce them. So let's say you're out of shape and you're overweight by 20, 30, 40 pounds. And today, today, You say, OK, I'm going to start to see myself making healthier decisions.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
I'm going to see myself, you know, taking one minute a day to just stretch just to start. I'm just going to stretch. I'm going to take one of my meals and I'm going to eat one meal healthier. That's all. And you did that for 30 days. Do you think that you might start to develop some slightly more empowering thought patterns, behavior patterns and habits?
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Well, I've been a vegan for 10 years. I've stopped drinking alcohol 15 years ago. I used to be a sugar addict, and now I am no longer a sugar addict. So a little bit of clean, healthy living in California and exercising and meditating every day keeps me feeling great at 62. So I'm just looking forward to another 10 or 20 years of just feeling and looking great.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Yeah, so what we want to understand is when we shift just a little bit, we activate brain cells. Those brain cells that fire together start to wire together. And so now we can add more time, more intensity, more complexity while we develop a new habit of thinking positively, while we develop a new habit of seeing ourselves achieve our goal.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Now we can accelerate what we do because we now have a new habit of doing, let's say, something empowering. And at first, we want to reduce it to the ridiculously small. Make it effort hyphen less. Make it stress less. Make it thinking less, right? And when we do that, we start to create a new pattern. I often say that first we build the simple habit. Then the habit will build us.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
So how do we develop a habit? You want to start flossing your teeth? Floss one tooth today. Floss one tooth tomorrow. Just one tooth, boom, put it down. Less than three seconds. Every day, take out your flossing string. Just leave it by your toothbrush. Before or after you brush your teeth, preferably before, floss one tooth. Just commit to doing it for 30 days.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
It takes about 66 days to develop a new empowering pattern. And so for 66 days at least, all my clients tell them, give me 100 days. Give me 100 days. Floss one tooth. I guarantee you by the end of 100 days, you'll be flossing your whole mouth and you'll be doing it morning and night. But don't focus on that. Focus on one tooth.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
So reduce it to the ridiculously small so you do not have any neural tension to say no.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Yeah, so, I mean, since we understand more about how the brain works today, we know that if I speak, you know, positively more often than I speak positively more often, if I feel a sense of gratitude, I feel more gratitude. If I take inspired action, I take inspired action more and more and more.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
And so I started to develop these inner sizes that my clients paid me as much as $25,000 to create one inner size sequence for them. If they're a professional athlete or a CEO, we focused on using a variety of science-based techniques
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
to activate and reinforce positive thought patterns and empowered self-image, self-worth, self-esteem, and empowered habitual pattern to achieve goals and to take action.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
And I just built an entire series for health, wealth, relationships, careers, sales, entrepreneurship, leadership, relationship, so that people can get the right mindset with the right emotional control and the right habitual creation
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
And I just developed my inner size model that I've had literally hundreds of thousands of people inner sizing daily, just like people exercise to strengthen their muscles. Well, I've coined this term called neuromuscles. And so, for example, are your beliefs, you know, strong or weak? Well, why not call them like a muscle? Your muscle, your belief muscle is strong or weak.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
And since we have, you know, belief muscles, you know, around what we can achieve and what we can't or whether we're worthy or not, why not just upgrade that? Are your habits strong or weak, empowering or disempowering, constructive or destructive? Yeah. Is your self-image, self-worth, self-esteem, can that be considered a neuro muscle that was developed for your whole life? Yeah.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Well, can we develop a new, more empowering neuro muscle or take an existing one and make it stronger? Well, of course we can. The question is, well, how do I do it? Well, we can do it through self-talk. through learning how to talk to ourself in a more empowering way. We can do it through our awareness of our emotional state.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
We can do it through observing our behavior, which leads to the results that we have. And so I just developed this entire series of inner sizes. There's about 500 that I've developed already just in the last two years. And it is transforming people's lives from the inside out. So we know that the subconscious mind is the power center of the brain. But most people don't know how to access it.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
And then, you know, how do I let go of the old stuff? And how do I create and reinforce the new stuff? And even though I used to talk to people about mental contrasting and first or third person visualizations or self-talk and planting the right seeds through their self-talk into their mind, very few people wanted to do the work to create it for themselves to actually do it.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
So I just did it for them. That's what Innercise is all about and the Innercise app that we created.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Sure, we're doing it October the 14th on a Saturday. And what I decided to do is instead of talking about it with everybody, like we are today, we're actually going to do an experiential event for two or three hours on October the 14th. And we are actually going to, of course, I will teach people, I will show people what's happening in their brain.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
No. Listen, my parents were like, you know, other parents, not a great diet, a lot of stress, not enough money, disempowering relationship. So I didn't have really good models to follow. But I always wanted more. I don't know what it was within me, but I wanted more of the good life. Maybe it was, you know, watching television like kids.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
But we're going to actually experience a bunch of inner sizes to actually help people rewire their brain right there so they get some immediate results. And for those who want to continue with inner sizes, they can make a decision to do that then.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Well, two things. Number one, the event is free, so I'll be doing it. I'll have a bunch of guests with me and I'll give you the link to put in the show notes for everybody and they can sign up. And when you attend, we will actually not just be talking about it, but we will be taking the inner sizes and doing the live together so you can experience it and feel it.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
right in the comfort of your own home, whether it's on your mobile phone or on your computer or on your tablet. And we're going to have some fun. We'll have a chat room open so we can talk and discuss. How do you experience health from the inside out? How do you experience unshakable self-confidence and an unstoppable mindset from the inside out?
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
How do you really, like not just talk about it, but how do you really feel? Feel that you are unstoppable. How do you really shatter a limitation that you have about how much you can earn or what kind of relationship or business you can have? Well, those are all limitations, which are nothing more than neural patterns in the brain. You weren't born with these limitations.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
You weren't born with these obstacles. How do you feel fear, which is natural? And how do you use the neurochemistry of fear to actually fuel you taking action instead of freezing, sabotaging, procrastinating, you know, and playing small? We'll be discussing it and actually doing it on October 14th. We'll start at 9 o'clock Pacific, 12 o'clock New York, and I think that's 5 o'clock in London.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Free, and it'll be fun. And you will have a breakthrough on that day.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Thank you so much, Heather. So great to be with you again.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
You know, today in adults, we look on the Internet and we see things that we want. And so I just wanted more. And I got fascinated literally 43 years ago with neuroscience and neuropsychology. I didn't do well in school, but I was really interested in biology and chemistry. And so I just got fascinated with neuroscience.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
This thing called the brain and our conscious and subconscious mind has been a study of mine now literally 43 years. And I discovered that we can all achieve more, but it's harder than we think because we don't have the right process, not because we can't.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
And very few people were taught the right process to shift their mindset and to be able to, let's say, let go of disempowering, whether it's thoughts or emotions or habits, which are so hard to break in the absence of the right process. So I became really good at first using myself as a guinea pig to achieve a little bit of success in each area of my life.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
But then I started writing about it and teaching people through my books or my coaching, and they started to duplicate the results as well. So I knew that it wasn't about me, but it was really about a process that anybody could follow. So I've just been using it in my own life for many, many years because I want to live an extraordinary life. I don't want to live an ordinary life.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
And I'm willing to be disciplined enough, which is a little bit interesting because everybody's already disciplined to what they are disciplined to. So discipline is really a habit. The question is, what are your habits that are easy for you to do? And so I just learned the process to be able to make change a little bit easier. Not easy, but a little bit easier.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Yeah, so I think first, ask yourself this question. Were you born with those habits? And anybody who thinks they would go? No. So what is a habit? Like, what is a habit? And the answer from a science perspective, a brain science perspective, it's an automatic process that has a trigger a behavior and a reward. It's an automatic process.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Something triggers you to, let's say, wake up and go to the coffee machine or, you know, wake up and get dressed first, then go to the coffee machine. So we all have these triggers. It could be a sound. It could be a scent. It could be a color. It could be a person. It could be a place. It could be a song. It could be anything. It could be waking up.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
And then we behave and then we get the reward of that behavior. And what most people don't understand is they mostly try to change the behavior. And changing the behavior, as much as it sounds really, really great, most of the time it doesn't work long term. And so the question is, if the behavior isn't what I want to change, then what is it that I should be changing?
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
And the answer is, the first step is in the awareness of what is triggering that behavior. Because 95% of everything we think and feel and do, 95% is automatic behavior. Habitual. And so if I can become aware of the trigger, you know, I wake up, I go have a coffee or I wake up and I get on my phone right away.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
What if we can say in between the trigger and the behavior, I can insert something a little bit different. So I'll give you an example. Somebody wants to drink more water. What if we said, okay, so when are you most likely to drink? You know, when I wake up, I go have coffee. Take a glass of water and stick it right by where you make coffee.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
So trigger, wake up, automatic behavior, go get coffee, but place something that you want to do right at the point of the behavior. So now you're going to get a double reward. So the double reward is water plus coffee activates the reward system in the brain. You drink the coffee, you feel good, you get more focused, you have a little bit more energy. Boom, boom, boom. We got the reward.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
So now if I place this thing before the behavior, I can actually move the second part of it if I want to and still get the reward. and replace water for coffee. That's just a simple neuro-associative conditioning mechanism that we could use to add a new behavior that's more empowering. Let's say we want to start to exercise and we don't have the habit of exercising.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Get your clothes out for exercise and let's say you're running shoes, place them where you normally get dressed and put those on first and do one minute or even 30 seconds of a new behavior right next to an old behavior that already has the habitual pattern.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
And all of a sudden, you start to develop this habit of, let's say, putting on your shoes, getting dressed, and maybe doing 15, 20, 30 seconds of stretching. It doesn't matter how small the behavior is. Once we add a new behavior in front of an old behavior, we can replace the old behavior with the new one.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
So that's, you know, if we want to add something, what if you want to stop, you know, let's say drinking alcohol, you want to stop eating sugar, you want to stop a behavior or a habit. Well, the way I stopped sugar, for example, is I knew I had a sweet tooth and I knew that my brain was craving it. I knew I had a habit for it. And so I said, okay, what can I replace my sweet tooth with?
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
What can I replace it with? So I said, well, I could get some protein and I could put some fiber with it, which would obviously expand. And so if my protein had stevia in it, which doesn't spike the insulin in my brain and in my liver, I can replace real, you know, maybe sugary cakes, cookies, ice creams, or yogurts, frozen yogurts, or vegan frozen yogurts that I like with something healthier.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
And so now I'm using a replacement strategy and then all of a sudden I'm not having sweets anymore. I've replaced it with a better habit and then I can wean myself off of that as well. So when we're using willpower, it's one of the weakest neuromuscles that we can use, especially after three or four o'clock every day.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Well, when we wake up, we're born with a certain number of attention units. And so we wake up, we get ready, we get dressed, we go to work, we do our work in front of our computers, we talk to people, we take care of our kids, our husband, our wife, or whatever. And by the time two or three o'clock goes on, our glucose levels are really, really low. Willpower is tied to glucose in many cases.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
And our ability to concentrate and focus, okay, is way, way lower after 3 or 4 or 5 o'clock. In the morning when we wake up, we have higher cortisol levels. So cortisol is like a little bit of rocket fuel. And so when we have cortisol, adrenaline, we can go. But then as that cortisol goes down and our focus, you know, gets diminished,
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
It's harder to make the decisions that require willpower, the power to override a natural habit or propensity. So there's a lot of these neural mechanics going on that if we don't understand how it works, like I'll give you an example. My team knows, do not book me, let's say on a call with Heather at five o'clock in the afternoon. I won't be as animated. I won't be as sharp.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
I won't be as congruent. because I wake up at 6.30 and by 9.30, 10, 11 o'clock, I'm like going, I'm like picking up the speed. So I do all my hardest stuff, the ones that requires my energy, focus and attention early in the day. That's why I exercise early. It's easier for me because I'm an early morning person to say yes to exercise early in the morning.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
There isn't a person alive that's afraid of public speaking. Nobody's afraid of public speaking. They're afraid of what might happen if they speak in public and they're embarrassed, ashamed, ridiculed, judged, rejected, accepted. That's what they're actually moving away from. Well, what if I shared with you that in that nanosecond,
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
If you leave me till four or five o'clock in the afternoon, I never exercise. If you say to me, you know, meditate in the afternoon, easy, because I'm already like, okay, I'm more chill. So when we understand a little bit about how our brain circuits, reward circuit, willpower circuit, fear circuit, stress circuit, anxiety circuit, focus circuit turns on or off.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
Then we can start to manage our mindset a little bit better, manage our emotions, which is really the energy in motion. Is it a high energy emotional arc or a low energy emotional arc? And then that's what drives behavior. And so if I'm in a high emotional energetic arc, I actually want to move towards what it is that I want to achieve.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym
But if I'm in a low emotional arc, I want to move away from it because it requires energy and my brain doesn't want to expend energy. So those are some of the neuromechanics of what we're dealing with. And I don't want this to be a neuroscience course, but we all have way more control of what's going on between our ears. And that's really what drives what we do or don't do.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
I coined this term. So let me take you back to, you know, when Mr. Alan Brown became my mentor. Right. So the goals that he had me set. Right. He had me rewrite them afterwards in a form of a story. So the story went like this. I am so happy and grateful that I am now earning $10,000 a month. Right. I am selling real estate easily and happily, and people love working with me.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
I wrote this whole story. I'm now living in my dream four-bedroom home. I'm driving at the time I said I wanted a Cadillac Sedan DeVille. I'm helping take care of my parents. I wrote this one-page story of what this new identity and new story would be. So that was kind of like part one, week one.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
He then asked me, he says, in order for you to actually live this story, he said, what would you need to believe about yourself? I guess I have to believe that I'm smart enough. I guess I would have to believe that I can learn how to be a real estate agent. I guess I would have to believe that I'm worthy of it. I deserve this. It's possible. And so he says, write those down.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And so I wrote down, you know, I am so happy and grateful for the fact that I am feeling worthy of earning $10,000 a month. Now, when I wrote it down, there was a voice in my head that would say, bullshit, no, you don't. So I would write it down. I would read it. I then recorded it on my recorder, back then we had cassettes, and I would listen to it, but I'd have this little voice saying,
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
That would go bullshit. Make a buck 65 an hour. And now you're making zero. So I'd have this dialogue in my head. And he said to me, he says, that's totally normal. He said, because your subconscious knows the truth and you are consciously trying to plant these new seeds, these new affirmations, affirming these new language patterns in your own subconscious and
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
I am so happy to be here with you, and it's going to be a lot of fun.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And no differently than if you're weak with a muscle, bicep muscle, and you lift three pounds. Oh, God, that's hard. It's hard for a day or two or three or four. And then the muscle gets a little stronger, and then you can do four pounds, then six pounds, then 10 pounds. And then you learn some techniques, right? Then you learn different types of bicep strengthening exercises.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
So he said, when we affirm... And affirmation, okay, embeds into the subconscious mind when you do it. And we didn't have the term like an alpha brainwave state back then, but we all know like gears in a car. If you drive in Europe, you go first gear, gets you going fast. You plop, pop the clutch, go to second gear. The engine's working less, but the car's going faster.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Hit the clutch again, go into third gear. Oh my God, the engine's working less, but the car's going faster. We have brainwaves, beta, alpha, theta, delta, gamma, and submodalities there. And he says, each one of these brainwaves allows you to do different things with your brain. I'm like, oh. And he said to me, you have a brain OK, you are not your brain. And now we're going to train your brain.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
I coined the term two years back called inner size. You know, I was exercising for strength in my physical body, but now I was inner size. So every day I would actually read, OK, this new script, this new story that was not true. And every day for 30 days, 40 days, 50 days, I'd hear bullshit. That's not true. Bullshit. That's not true. Bullshit. It's not true. You're not good enough.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
You're not smart enough. You left high school. My old story kept coming up and it kept challenging me. But he said to me, he says, that's your old self trying to keep itself alive. And keep you sane. He says, but every time you hear that voice, just go next. I understand I am creating a new self-image. So I didn't lie to myself.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
I'm in the process of building a new self-esteem, a new identity, new beliefs that I want instead of the ones I was given to by my father, my mother, my siblings, the neighborhood we lived. And he said to me, he says, you know, the other thing we're going to start doing is in addition to, let's say, affirming, planting in my mind, we are going to visualize.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And he said this to me, and I got this one easily. He said, when you visualize, he said, visualization is a mental and emotional simulation. Mm-hmm. And when you mentally and emotionally simulate a result you want, he said, your brain is actually firing those same neurons. And my friend today, Dr. Dennis Waitley, he worked with Neil Armstrong, okay, getting him prepared to go to the moon.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Maybe I should start off with how I got to what I've done. Listen, I think I'm an average guy. Mm-hmm. who is very passionate about living an extraordinary life. And so I've been focusing on, how can I live a better than average life, an extraordinary life? And one of the reasons I made that one of my focuses is when I was in school as a kid, I fell behind by two years. I failed English.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And they were using visualization as a mental and emotional rehearsal. Now, we didn't know this then in the late 60s, mid 60s. But what we do know now is when I visualize the exact same brain cells that are firing when I visualize fire, if I'm actually doing the thing.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
So I brought this little prop to share with you and everybody else. It's the human brain, right? It's all mapped out with the stem and the lobes, et cetera. And here's what we've discovered, right? Going back in time, we had a brain. It's kind of like we had a piece of meat. We had no idea what the piece of meat consists of.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
But with technology, we've been able to do imaging of the brain when we're thinking, feeling, looking at something that scares us or something erotic that excites us. So we can see circuits turning on or off. We can see blood flow. We can see more into the human brain now than ever before.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And so one of the things that the scientists have discovered is our brain is made up, and I like to give people a visual. Imagine that you are the conductor and have an orchestra of about 10 people or a band. And your job, regardless of whether you can play any music or not or sing, is to make sure that the members of your orchestra or band, they're doing their thing and they're playing in sync.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Now, imagine that one part of your band is always complaining about, well, what if she doesn't show up? And what if that's too expensive? And what if we can't make our flight? And that person on your team is actually very, very valuable because they're always thinking about what if negative happens. Like, what if you fail? What if you're embarrassed, ashamed, ridiculed, judged, rejected?
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
What if you lose money? What if you lose time? What if she says no? What if you're abandoned? What if negative? Well, we know that... Einstein is not doing that. You know, Einstein's always going, wow, the way I can achieve this is by doing this and by doing that. And I can envision this and I can use my imagination.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
But we always know that that other part of our brain, Frankie's monster, is always on high alert to warn us of real or imagined danger. So we now know That when Einstein, all right, is saying, hey, I want to make more money. I want to live a better life. I want to lose weight and keep it up. I want to have a loving, caring relationship.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
I want to be a great mother or father, you know, whatever the case is. We activate other circuits in our brain that are like motivational. They're exciting. Oh, my God, that would be so good. But because our brain is wired for safety, security, and avoidance of pain or discomfort first, Frankie goes wild whenever we're outside of our comfort zone because it's possibly dangerous.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
It could be dangerous mentally, emotionally, physically, or financially. So this, what I call the early warning detection mechanism always goes on when we have a goal outside of our current familiarity zone.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
I failed math. I left high school at grade 11. My father was an alcoholic who used to beat me and my brother. My mother was kind, seamstress, and they always struggled. Started a relationship, struggled with money, and there was never enough money at the end of every month. And I didn't do well in life as a kid.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Sure. Can I get to that in just one second? I want to put one more piece that you're talking about right now into what Alan Brown had me do. So I had my story, my goal. I want to make $10,000 a month. I want to buy a home. I want a nice car. I want to give some money to charities. I want to take care of my parents. I had this as my vision.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And then I had goals for the end of the year, for nine months, six months, three months, and for like what I want to achieve in one month. And I didn't know how to set goals before. I didn't know what was realistic, what wasn't realistic, but I was a beginner. I was like a beginner. The only thing I knew how to do, I played basketball and hockey when I was a kid.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
So I knew that I had to train and practice before game time. So Mr. Brown helped me create a daily action plan. So he said to me, you want to make $10,000 in a month? I said, yes. He says, well, based on the home prices here, you're going to need to get either these number of listings or you're going to have to get these number of buyers to buy a home.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
So we broke it down to, OK, now I have a number. He says, now, in order to get this many listings, you're probably going to have to be in front of, you know, 20 people this month that could say yes to you. And you're probably going to have to speak to people who want to buy a house. And we determined that I had to make 100 calls a day and prospect.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
So if I made 100 calls a day, and back then we could phone call, and we'd get probably 30% of the people answer the phone. And they said, great, so here's the math behind achieving the goal. And he said, and here's the numbers to achieve the goal. He says, but that's not enough. He says, because you can make 100 phone calls and just blab your way and sound stupid.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And I got in trouble with the law, sold drugs, did drugs, did breaking and entries, was in junior detention halls a couple of times. And that's kind of like my teen years. And at the age of 19, my brother, who was concerned for my well-being, specifically not going to jail or dying, one of the friends I was hanging with went to jail, another one died. And he introduced me to this one guy.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And yes, you'll get embarrassed and ashamed and ridiculed and judged and rejected. He says, but let me upgrade your skill now. So he gave me literally like a sheet of paper that was typed out. And on the sheet of paper was a script. And here's the script 45 years later. Ready? Hi, this is John Assaraf with Allen Brown Real Estate Company.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
We have somebody who's looking to buy a home in the neighborhood. Have you thought about making a move? If they said yes, I go, great. Could my broker and I, Allen Brown, come over today at three o'clock or would five o'clock be better? So I had an alternative choice. The illusion of choice. Right. And then if they said, sure, three o'clock is great. Great. We'll see you there.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
I'll let you know if there's any changes. Hang up, Mr. Brown. We have a three to five o'clock appointment. If they said, no, we're not thinking about making it. I said, thank you so much. Oh, by the way, have any of the neighbors, you know, said anything about moving this year? Yes. Oh, great. Would you mind putting me in touch with them? Give me their number, whatever.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
If they said no, I said, oh, thank you. Oh, one last question. Since we are the local real estate company in the neighborhood, do you know when you might be thinking of making a move so we could put it into, at the time they had a card decks file. We wrote everything by hand. You know, we put it in our file. So I had a script. And I was also taught, yeah, people hang up on you.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Yeah, people go, you freaking idiot. What do you call me for? It's dinner time. So he taught me how to manage the rejection, the no, the clicks. He also gave me this sheet and it had a hundred boxes on it. Box one had $15, $15, $30, $45, $60, $75, $90, $105, $120, $135, all the way from $15 all the way down to $1,500 in box 100. And here was the game. He says, your job is to make 100 calls a day.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Speak to 30 people, get five appointments. He says, you do that. Maybe today you'll find somebody who wants to buy or sell a house and you'll make that $1,500 over time. So he taught me these frameworks to make it fun, to not take rejection personally, to upgrade my identity, my knowledge and skills to match the goal that I want to achieve.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And within six months, I made, as I mentioned, my first, I made $60,000 in six months, $10,000 a month, but he got half of that. But then he taught me some new skills. And then I made $300,000 in the next 12 months. So there was a behavior to follow my story and my affirmations that were not true and my visualizations and listening to this story that I would say is bullshit.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
But in week one, two, three, four, it was like heavy, no way, negative. I can't do it. But as soon as I got some appointments, as soon as we got a listing, as soon as we made a sale, I'm like, well, maybe I can do this. So I went from I can't, don't deserve it, not smart enough, not good enough to maybe I can. Hey, this is not that bad. I'm making progress. I'm doing better.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
If I can show you something, I'm going to put some props in front over here. I want anybody who's watching or listening, I want you to ask yourself this question. It's 2025, all right? You might be listening to this in 26 or 27, but it's 2025 right now. And ask yourself this question. Do we know how to make $10,000 a month in just about any industry or $20,000 or $50,000 or $100,000 a month?
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And this guy was a real estate developer in Toronto, Canada. I was living in Montreal. And he asked me if I would meet this guy for lunch and maybe he would give me a job. And at the time, I was working for that big electronics company called Phillips Electronics. And I was working in the shipping department, making $1.65 an hour, opening boxes, putting boxes away on the truck, off the truck.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Do we know your insurance sales, real estate sales, your startup business, programmer, developer, you've got your own app, you've got a cleaning, whatever it is. Is the information on how to available? Absolutely. Great. What about health? If you want to lose weight and keep it off, you want to run a marathon, you want to do a triathlon, you want to have a better relationship.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
In every area of health, wealth, relationships, career, business, spirituality, how to achieve my goal of X. Mm-hmm. We can have at our fingertips in five seconds on, you know, chat CPT or one of the AI platforms. So how to exist. And one of the visuals I like to give people is, have you ever tried to solve the Rubik's cube?
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
So most people would agree if I asked them this question, is it possible to solve this or this? Is it possible? It is. Right. But you have to learn the algorithm. You have to upgrade yours. First, you got to make a decision you want to. But whether it's a two by two, three by three, four by four, or five by five, or even one of the granddaddies. All right. It's possible to do it, right?
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
So a couple of options. Option one, figure it out yourself and sit there and try the literally billions of possible moves. And you're like, I'm frustrated. This is too hard. I don't know. I don't know what I can get this here and that there, but I can't get. So you give up. So we give up.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Now, do we give up because it's not possible or do we give up because we implemented the wrong process to do it? Right. And now we have frustration. And now, you know, I give up. And now I develop this identity of somebody who starts but does not finish hard stuff. Right. Now, you want to learn how to do this? Go to YouTube right now. You'll have this done in 10 minutes.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
This will take a lot longer. But there are people that will teach you step by step by step. And if you're committed, you can actually hire somebody to coach you on Zoom in person. Go to a weekend Rubik's Cube retreat. There are three-year-old kids that do this in seconds. Now, some people have natural propensities. I got it. But everybody can learn how to do it.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
So the first thing is whatever goal you have, don't confuse the fact that you may not have the knowledge and skill how to do it with it's not doable. Right. Two completely different stories. It's all figureoutable. Right. So there's only four things that hold us back. So number one is I lack the knowledge and skill of how to do something. Right.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And when us humans lack the knowledge and skill, we have self-doubt. And we have self-doubt that causes this state of uncertainty. And the average person has never been taught that when we feel uncertain, our brain actually releases stress neurochemicals. Portosol, you know, epinephrine.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And those stress neurochemicals actually activate something called the sympathetic nervous system in our brain.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And when that circuit is turned on, like the light switch I was telling you earlier, when that circuit is turned on, it's that Frankie's monster, okay, that's saying, hey, protect yourself and either, you know, run away, self-sabotage, procrastinate, you know, fight this thing, you know, or do something else.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
So we know that the, like the mechanics of our brain is when I'm uncertain to have a bit of fear, right? And I have a fear of failing. I have a fear of being embarrassed, abandoned, ashamed, ridiculed, judged, rejected, et cetera, losing. And so I move into protective mode, not because I want to.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And I hated it. I took the train from Montreal to Toronto, met this gentleman for lunch, and he asked me what I wanted to achieve in my life. And I said, well, I'd like to make more than $1.65 an hour. I'd like to move out of my parents' house, and I'd love to buy a car because I'm tired of taking the bus and the subway here in freezing cold Montreal in the winter.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
It's just a biological system that was created by our creator, whatever you believe the creative intelligence is, as a protective mechanism. But can you learn how to feel uncomfortable, feel uncertain, have self-doubt, feel fear? Can you learn how to feel fear? And can you, for example, with four breaths, deactivate that circuit? And the answer is, I don't know.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
For most people, I say, well, here's something most people don't know. There's something called the physiological breath. And if you just did this, where you're lifting up your diaphragm, putting oxygen into your lungs, into your brain, you actually turn off this circuit, and then what goes online? Einstein comes back online, and that's known as the parasympathetic nervous system.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And that's the genius part of our brain that is calm, that can now respond. Einstein is the part of the brain we want to operate from because that's our CEO. That's our imagination, deductive reasoning, our intelligent part of our brain. But Frankie wants to run the show to protect you all the time. And so Frankie is the quitter.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
What happens when we go into this part of our brain called the sympathetic nervous system, where we can be calm to respond, now we're not feeling that angst of the stress or worry or fear or doubt or pain. But now we can say, okay. I'm feeling uncomfortable. I'm feeling like afraid. I'm feeling uncertain. I feel like I might lose X, Y, or Z or experience this and I don't like that.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Now, can we ask ourselves, Well, what would have to happen in order for me to take action and feel safe? What would have to happen in order for me to learn the next two or three steps only? Like just two or three steps so that I'm not stuck, frozen in fear, you know, reinforcing this thing that's preventing me from achieving my goal. What would have to happen?
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Well, could I find one action step that at least moves me a little bit towards what I want? One small, tiny action, not a big, huge action step. It's too big for the human brain to take big action steps unless you're trained to. So what we want to do is we want to start creating these micro decisions to move in the direction of our dreams.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
So the first inner size we can do is the physiological breath, or we do something called take six, calm the circuits. That's inner size number one. First, we calm that sympathetic circuit, right? Take six slow, deep breaths in through our nose, out through our mouth. Then we do inner size number two. It's called AYA, A-I-A. And AYA just stands for awareness.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Awareness of my thoughts, feelings, sensations, emotions, behaviors that I'm taking or not taking. And when we learn how to observe our physiology and our mental state without, and this is really important, without judging yourself, blaming yourself, feeling guilty or being ashamed. It's just pure observation. Wow. I'm talking negatively to myself. I'm feeling uncomfortable, right?
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And he said, it's all great, but what are some bigger goals and dreams you have? I said, I don't have any. And this was a pivotal moment in my life because he said to me, he said, would you mind doing me a favor since we're going to be talking about maybe you coming to work for me? I said, well, sure. He said, can you fill out the answers to these questions? And he gave me this document.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And then we have the I in AYA is, what's your intention? Is your intention to not take action? Well, no, it's not. Is your intention to achieve the health, wealth, relationships, career goal? Yeah, that's my intention. And here is the magic. What is one, one small little action you can take towards that? You want to get in better shape? One small action?
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Put your running shoes out somewhere where you can see them. One small step.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Yeah. One small step just to have self-trust, self-confidence, and to be able to give yourself a command and follow through to completion. Right.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Yeah. Whether I'm working with an athlete, working with a CEO, working with a homemaker, most of them are not operating with a vision of what does it look like in the future if it was complete? What do you look like? What does the result look like? Part two, they don't have any path to from where they are today to that.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And because we talked about triathlons, you know, imagine if I asked everybody right now, if we all committed, all of us committed to, um, jogging a marathon one year from today, uh, Assuming you're physically healthy, mentally healthy, would we if we committed to it? And the answer is yes. Absolutely.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
We don't need to be in the possession of the training routine, the food routine, the rest routine, the sleep routine, the equipment. We don't need to know any of it now. All we need to know is a year from now, we're running together across the finish line. It might take us seven hours to jog slowly a marathon. 26.2 miles, right?
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And then we say, okay, now let's divide everybody into, are you a beginner? And like, you don't even know a training schedule. You don't know the difference between a carbohydrate and a peptide. And you don't know the, so let's take all the beginners and say, okay, beginners, for the next two weeks, here is what you need to know and learn.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And the first question when I flipped over the page, Charles, was at what age do you want to retire? And I'm like, excuse me, what am I supposed to put over here? He goes, pick a number. And I was 19 at the time. And so I said, well, like, what's a good number? He says, pick, you know, 20, 30 years. And I said, it's like 45. Okay. He goes, sure, put it down.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
all you intermediate ones, all right, then you've done some running, you understand a little nutrition, sleep, okay? Your training schedule is this. All the advanced ones, you understand training schedule, sleep, food, nutrition, okay? We're putting you on a different path. Now, The first 30, 60, 90 days, there's going to be a big discrepancy between the beginner and the advanced.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
But over six months, many of the beginners will go from beginners to intermediate. Some might even make it to advanced. So we have to have frameworks and a process for each person. Mm-hmm. Start with their vision, their goals, and then we develop a plan that they can follow. And here is the rule. We look to build the habit first or the behavior.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And then once we have the habit down, we work on intensity and complexity.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
So first we don't work on 10 multiple goals at the same time that aren't due to you, right? So the first thing we want to teach ourselves is that I can give myself a command and a goal, no matter how small, and I can follow through to completion. So the first thing I say is, okay, give me one goal in one area of your life. Health? Great. What specifically? You know, one goal.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And we say, okay, what can you commit to for a minimum of five minutes a day for the next seven days, no matter what? If you're in bed, tired, asleep, it's raining, it's sleeting, it's hailing, you're getting up for five minutes and you're doing the thing you promised yourself you're going to do. What can you commit to? So the first thing I do is I reduce it to the ridiculously small thing that
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
So we can accomplish something very, very big. And that is self-trust. And if I can build self-trust that I can say to myself every day for five minutes, I'm doing this no matter what and do it. No. Okay. Maybe I could do seven minutes. So what happens with most people is they reinforce the negative.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
They reinforce all of the mental and emotional and physical habits that actually move them away from their goals versus focusing on their goals. Part one. The other part is I'm okay with big goals, but big goals have small components. So what is the one or two things that if you did that every day, it would build the habit?
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
So that's part one, but let me give you something really, really, really critical. We've already established, don't set a goal you're not committed to achieving because you won't do what it takes. But let's say you've committed to it. I call it my rule of 100. And based on some of the latest research in the university in Toronto several years ago, they discovered something.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
So let's say I start an exercise program today. Then I'm firing, you know, the neurons. I'm releasing the endorphins and the adrenaline and the dopamine to feel good neurochemicals. And I'm excited and I have a motive for the action and it feels good. And if I don't like push it too hard, then, you know, I'm enjoying it.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
The next question was upon retirement, how much net worth do you want to have? I'm like, net worth? I said, excuse me, sir, what does net worth mean? And he explained to me what net worth is. I said, okay, how much should I put there? He goes, well, you're going to need probably a few million dollars, you know, if you want to retire at 45, and you're going to live to probably, you know, 75 or so.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
What they discovered back when, you know, I was in my 20s, 30s, there used to be this belief that it takes 21 days to develop a habit. There was no science behind that. And here's what we now know. It takes between 66 days to 365 days to either develop or replace an old, whether it's thought, emotional, or behavioral habit. So here's my rule for all my clients. I don't take you on as a client.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
You can't join any of my coaching programs unless you commit to this one thing. Ready? 100 days. If you can commit to a little bit of doing, thinking, and feeling the right thing for 100 days, I could pretty much guarantee you'll achieve your goals. But if you can't be self-disciplined to following through to completion, then you are going to be self-disciplined not to.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
I tell people, you know, if you're driving a newer car today, right? You love it when, you know, a car comes too close to you and your thing beeps. You love it when the trunk is open and ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Because it's telling you that, hey, pay attention to this. So Frankie has been developing for hundreds of millions of years. So love your Frankie. Yes. Okay.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
But you have to control Frankie versus Frankie controlling you. Now, the neurochemistry of fear is actually required in a flow state. Yes. Most people don't know this, but we actually want most flow states start in a state of stress, worry, fear, anxiety. When you're at the Olympics, oh my God, am I going to run well today? Did I sleep enough? Did I eat the right food? Is it the right time?
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Is it too early in the day, too late in the day? I wonder what Michael will do. I wonder what Joey will do. So we're comparing and then Frankie goes off, you know, but then boom, because of training, we use that fuel. We focus on that finish line. We focus on what we have practiced. And then we don't have to think about it because we are now unconsciously competent. We don't.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And if we trained right, then we get into this flow state where it's effortless. There's effort, but it's not work. So whether it's earning money, getting healthy, we focus on the right habits first. And through consistency, we add intensity and complexity. And so I would prefer somebody telling me, John, I walked one minute a day for 100 days. I'm ready to move.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Or somebody saying, you know, I walked 15 minutes on Monday. I couldn't Tuesday and Wednesday. You know, I walked two hours on Sunday. I'm really sore, so I'm going to take off. No, it's too inconsistent. Whatever it is that we do consistently, this is so powerful. Whatever it is that we do consistently, our brain automates. Yes. That's called automaticity.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
He said, so put a few million. So I put $3 million. The next question is, what kind of car do you want? Mercedes-Benz convertible. What kind of house do you want? Oh, four-bedroom house, two-car garage. Where do you want to travel? All over the world. How do you want to dress? With Italian clothes. Who do you want to help? My mother and father. I wrote down all of the answers to these questions.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And automaticity is effortless to the human brain, whereas consistency initially is effort more.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
So this serves two purposes for me. Let's say this is my life, right? I have no idea how much sand I have left. this is the life I've lived.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And so I could take the good sand, the only sand I have right now, this second, and I could do one of two things, focus on all the mistakes, all the traumas, all the pain I've had, all the people who did me wrong, all, all the things I'm ashamed of, or I could create what I want this to be in the future. So that's number one. Number two is,
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
is to remind me that there is no such thing as time management. The only thing I could manage is what I do in time. So I go back to, are you living your life by design or by default?
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
So, like, I know what my day, what I want it to look like, because I've thought about what today will be like. Now, listen, I fully get life's curveballs. I fully get it. You know, I just had a dermatology appointment this morning. You know, the doctor says, everything's fine, but there's something right over here, you know, on your chest, and I want to take it off.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And we're going to do a biopsy on it. Great. Maybe it's cancer. I don't know. But right now, I can focus on being healthy, eating the right food, breathing, drinking the right amounts of fluids, and taking care of myself. So I get that life gives you curveballs, but I know what I'm trading my life for. And If you recall earlier, I said, I want my life to be like extraordinary.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
So, and I don't mean, you know, lavish life. So I just want to feel happy. I want to feel proud. I want to contribute to the lives of others. I want to have a meaningful, purposeful life of impact and influence.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
That was just a bunch of bullshit answers.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Yeah. Um, First part, you know, when somebody doesn't feel like I'm enough or I'm worthy or have imposter syndrome, they usually lack an understanding of what they are. Like, if you think about what you are, what is the intelligence that created you that's in you? and you really have this healthy understanding set aside from ego, you realize that, like, I believe in God and intelligence.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Just out of my ass. And he looked at the questionnaire and he said, well, this seems like it would be a great life, wouldn't it? I said, yeah, it would be awesome. And the back of my head, I'm thinking, but there's no way I'm going to achieve that. I don't know how to achieve that. And he asked me one question, Charles, and the answer to this one question changed my life.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
I don't believe in God as a deity with a guy up there with a beard and, you know, the devil down there, and you go there or there. I don't believe in that. That just serves me, and I don't have any issue with what anybody else believes. But I believe that we all have these things that interest us, Gaming, designing, writing, reading, talking with friends, taking care of pets, cooking.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And if we just listen to what is it that brings me joy? What is it that is actually easy for me? That may be difficult for somebody else. Is it math? Is it numbers? Is it helping somebody? What is it that makes me feel, that inspires me? It gives me spirit when I think of it, do it, experience it, share it. What is it that inspires me versus what is it that expires me?
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
So let's begin with what are your hobbies? What do you like to read? If you can make a difference in the world, would it be for plants? Would it be for animals? Would it be to help people who are dying? Because there are plenty of people who go and make a lot of money, but they still feel worth less, right?
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
There's lots of people who give because they think they should give, but there's no joy in their giving. There's a lot of people that have nice cars or watches, but they feel like they're an imposter because they're still dealing with childhood, you know, self-belief that wasn't theirs. You know, somebody helped them develop that. So I want to get them into their heart.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
out of your head like in your heart and in your gut like what is it that if you could do more of that you just feel like the trade right the trade go back to the time what would you feel like the trade would be worth it Part one. Part two, I can get them, for example, if I was to sit you in a rocking chair, right? A rocking chair test.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Now, let's take you to close to the end of your life and you're sitting in the rocking chair, right? And you are talking to your younger self. what would you tell your younger self? Do more of that. Do less of that. What would you wish you would have done now that you're at the end of your life? What would you do if you were in your 30s or 40s or 20s or 50s? What would you do then?
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And then why not come back to the moment and start doing the things that that your older self is telling you to do now without limitations? Like, what would you need to learn? What would you need to let go of? What would you need to upgrade? Who would you help? Who would you ask for help? How would you manage that fear that you have a little bit better? So taking the time, I've invested...
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
I don't know how much of my life, just in thinking, in being, in feeling, and in getting in touch with the essence of what's important for me. And then designing a life that I feel proud of. And if I can help you and help the people that are listening or watching, that is part of my purpose in life. Contribution is my number four highest value. So I want to contribute because it feeds me.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And here's what the question was. He leaned in, he looked at me and he says, son, are you interested in achieving these things? or are you committed to achieving them? I'm like scratching my head. My brother's sitting next to me, and I looked at him and said, excuse me, sir, what's the difference?
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
So a couple of things. I released an inner size app where I developed 600 inner sizes with visualizations and mindfulness and meditation and cognitive behavior techniques with experts, videos, training. And they can get that on inner size dot com or my apps or the app store. I'm on Instagram. I do a ton of YouTube videos to show people things that they can do to set goals and achieve goals.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
I'm on Facebook. I'm on all the social media channels. And they can find a whole bunch of my articles on my website, johnassraff.com. I write a lot. I research a lot. And I share a lot. So johnassraff.com, Intersize.com. The one thing that I want, I really want to like leave people with is in front of me, I have my exceptional life blueprint.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And one of the things that I do that I encourage everybody to do, regardless of whether you learn it, like I start everything off with like my goals. I have goals for every area of my life, health, relations, career, business, travel, my prayers, you know, where I'm going to travel in the future. I have it all written down because I've thought about it. And then I write my new story.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
you know, the story of my life and write the story. And then I have images, you know, for my current life or the life that I want to live that I blend actually. So I want to see the earth from the moon. I want to be in a fighter jet. We rented this house in the Maldives two years ago. So I put pictures up of what I want to achieve that fall in line with the story of my life.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Now, why do I have this book here? Well, because I've taken the time to think about what do I really want for health, wealth, relationships, career, business, fun, experiences, travel, et cetera, charity. I take the time to write it down. I take the time to create images for it. And then every day for about five minutes, six minutes, I review my exceptional life blueprint.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And this acts, for me, the equivalent of a destination for a pilot. Mm-hmm. The pilot says, get on the plane here. We're going to go over there. And then we chart the course there. And the plane is off track a lot, but then it recalibrates, recalibrates, recalibrates, recalibrates. So I take the time every day just to say, is this still where I want to go?
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
He said, well, son, when you're interested, you allow all your present circumstances and your old results and stories and reasons and traumas and excuses, you allow those to control your present decisions and your focus. He said, but when somebody becomes committed, I'll never forget this. He says they upgrade their identity to match the destiny.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Are these the things that I want to achieve? Are these things I want to experience? Are these people I want to help? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Good. Check, check, check, check, check. Prime my brain every day a little bit.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
looking at this, reading it, reviewing it, doing my inner sizes, and visualizing it, and then being silent for five, six, seven minutes to activate my subconscious mind through a meditative practice. And so I'm doing this block of mental and emotional work And then I get this physical body, right, into what I call is the law of Goya, right?
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
The law of Goya is the get off your ass law and take action now. Now we take some action. Now, okay, what am I doing today? Okay, great. Block of time contribution with Charles. Bang. All right. After that, bang. After that, bang. These are the behaviors that make the dream the reality.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And tiny habits that are empowering, positive, and constructive... Build your life the way you want. And tiny habits that are destructive, disempowering, and negative destroy your life. And here is the key for everybody. It's your choice. Yes. That's your power. Everybody wants... What power do I have? The only difference between us and a pig and a horse, we can choose.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And you can choose to be a victim or anything else you want to be.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
It's my pleasure. Thanks for doing such a great job preparing and being so great on this.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
They upgrade their beliefs, their knowledge, their skills, their habits, and they become the person capable of achieving whatever they choose. He says, and by the way, I've achieved all of the things you want and then some. So son, are you interested or are you committed? I don't know why, Charles. I was a cocky 19-year-old. I said, well, in that case, I'm committed. And he reaches out his hand.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
He says, wonderful, young man. Then I will be your mentor. And I said, wow, thank you. What's a mentor? explain to me what a mentor did. I ended up moving from Montreal to Toronto. I ended up working for him in his real estate company on commission only. I went from $1.65 to zero. But he taught me how to develop the identity of somebody who is successful.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
He taught me how to train my brain to believe that I could achieve the goals that I want to achieve. He taught me how to create a plan, simple plan for every goal that I want to achieve. He said, there is a process to achieve it. And so I said, okay, well, you're driving the Mercedes. You have the beautiful house. You have real estate offices. You have 700 people working for you.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
I'll do what you say. So I moved to Toronto, lived with my brother, went to real estate school, got my real estate license, went to work for him. And over six months, I made $31,000 for me. And he also made $31,000 for him because I gave him half of what I made. And he kept teaching me over the next year after that.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And I ended up making $300,000 gross, gave him, I think it was $150,000 for him, $150,000 for me. And I died and gone to heaven at 21 because he taught me a process. And I never had a process. So that changed my life. And so we can start with some of those structures and understanding maybe my journey over the last 43 years since then, or 44 years since then.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Sure. We used to believe that we were born and scientists called this hardwired. You know, you're born and you're just like your mother, you're just like your father, or you're just like your grandfather or your aunt, right? And we know, you know, through a lot of the research now that we all have these genetic propensities. Like when we're born, we have these character traits. Some kids are shy.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Some kids are aggressive. Some, you know, might be a little meaner than others. Some are kind and passive. So we know we have propensities. But we also know that a child is not born with a self-image or beliefs that they're good enough, not good enough, too white, too black, too Asian, whatever. We don't have any beliefs. We don't have an identity. We don't have a fear of anything.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And we certainly don't have any knowledge or skills. You know, we might have, or not might, we have the propensity to maybe suckle on mom's boob, right, to get milk on a bottle, but that's a genetic, you know, millions of years of evolution, autonomic Part of our being.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
So when we talk about neuroplasticity, it was only about 25 years ago, a guy by the name of Dr. Michael Merzenich, who's a friend now, discovered because we were able to look deeper into the human brain. And analyze a human brain in real time or through slicing a brain after somebody was dead, we can actually see that our brain has got cells. We know that.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
I call them like marbles, like 75 billion marbles. And these marbles make connections. And we used to believe that we were born hardwired. These connections were already there. Right. They discovered that that's not true. We're creating connections from the time we are born. Every time we hear, see, smell, taste, touch, a parent says, you're really wonderful. You're terrible.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
You'll never amount to much. You're going to become whatever you want. Money is easy to make. No, money is really hard to make. Only wealthy people are all thieves. We develop these beliefs and When we dive a little bit beneath the surface, we understand that a belief is nothing more than brain cells that have made connections that have then been reinforced.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And the reinforced brain cells become stronger. You talked about being an athlete. We've talked about you being a triathlete. And like, you know, when we run, when we lift weights, we are strengthening, whether it's our cardiovascular system, we're strengthening our legs, our shoulders, our chest, our glutes, whatever it is, we strengthen the muscles.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
Well, what if we started to take a look at, let's say, self-image, how I see myself? What if we looked at it as, is that a muscle possibly, like a neuromuscle? And some people have a healthy, strong, empowering self-image. And other people say, you know, I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm not worthy enough. Now, neither one is born that way.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And so somewhere along the way, we developed these patterns in our brain that got reinforced. Now, here's where this gets really interesting. when we're born, this thing called the neuroplasticity switch, all right? In our brain, we have like switches. We have the motivational circuit, turns on or turns off. Stress circuit, turns on or turns off. Fear circuit, turns on or turns off.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
So there's these circuits in our brain, like, you know, like your light in your room, turn it on, turn it off. Well, When we're born, this thing called the neuroplasticity switch is fully on. And we're creating these connections, these meanings, these feelings, these smells. I like the way this broccoli tastes. I hate how it tastes.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
You know, we start to see, think, feel, and create these patterns that get reinforced from zero to about 13, 14. At around 14 years young, the research has shown that this switch goes off. And now we go into a reinforcement pattern where we reinforce the beliefs, the self-image, the fear of the snake or the fear of driving or the fear of sex or the fear of jumping out of a plane or a flying.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
So we reinforce these patterns and they get stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger. And the way the brain works is consistency compounds. So when I think negatively over and over and over again, it compounds. When I feel disempowered, disillusioned, not good enough, not smart enough, not worthy enough, it compounds.
I am Charles Schwartz Show
How the Wealthy Rewire Their Brains
And then our brain just moves into keeping the patterns consistent to maintain identity.