Joey Jones
Appearances
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
The Biden is fine hoax was dependent on the Trump is Hitler hoax, which was resting on the fine people hoax. And it was the fine people hoax. And this is the hilarious part. that Biden ran on in 2020, his own words. So how crazy is it that the lie that got him elected is now the lie that effectively destroyed the party?
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
You know, this is why I brought up the fine people hoax every day, because this is where it ends. They do need to rebrand. They may have to change their name. Philip Morris became Altria. That's a possibility. Bruce Jenner became Caitlyn. I don't know. This could happen, but they need a complete cleaning of the house. The one thing I'll say, and then I'll shut up. The corruption is so vast.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
It's so widespread, it might work to the Democrats' benefit. Because, like, where do you start?
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
I don't know where you start. I know where James Comer is going to start. Apparently, Jillian, he's going to call in folks to be and to be interviewed over what they knew when they knew it. And he's positioning this as an investigation into potentially, I guess, defrauding the American people.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
It's the media. It's the media. That's really it. You know what I mean.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
So Jessica, more of a 30,000 foot view here. If you wanted to draw something similar in a different way, go back. After George W. Bush and Dick Cheney, the Republican Party was not in a good place. So you had this Tea Party movement that came after it. It did pretty well, kind of fizzled out under Obama.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
And then from there, you have what is now the MAGA movement that has taken over the Republican Party. The Democrat Party, is Joe Biden the George Bush for them, the one that's going to cause a major reset, that's going to create a groundswell of something different?
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
But I think what's going to happen and I'm not saying Ilhan Omar is way worse than Michelle Bachman was. I mean, there's there's still plenty of them in there.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
This is not even part of the segment. You're talking about a meme coin.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
Did he try to cover that up? I don't think so. You're defending an administration that covered up a dying leader, and you're sitting here going, but meme coin, meme coin.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
So Donald Trump said he said to clean it up real good. All right. Up next, the loser Chicago mayor with a 7 percent approval rating is calling President Trump a monster.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
Yeah, it's weird how we used to think Lori Lightfoot was the worst mayor in history. He makes her look like Margaret Thatcher. Yeah, imagine if a white leader said, you know... Why do I hire so many white people? Well, they always show up on time, right? Isn't that great? You would be fired. But for some reason, you could be racist in America if you're black. Lori Lightfoot was. Jussie Smollett.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
You can go on and on and on. But it's Friday, and I want to get home. When you listen to this guy. You hear a relic of a dying era, a rent-seeking charlatan coasting on identity. He's so comfortable in his racism, he can actually brag about it. But the problem with America, you know, it begins and ends with the cities, like L.A., San Francisco, Chicago, Minneapolis, New York, Portland, D.C.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
You know— There's never been an epidemic like this of mismanagement, cronyism and corruption. And it's allowed to continue because a lot of these people are race hustlers who make it a hate crime to treat them as comp as equals. Like you're not supposed to expect competence or fairness from progressives because somehow they're exempt.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
Yeah, he's not doing it like there's nothing revolutionary here. He's not doing anything any different than Hakeem Jeffries or Chuck Schumer. My policies aren't popular. As a matter of fact, they kind of suck. What am I going to do? What am I going to change? What's my message? Oh, I know. Blame Trump. Be mean to Trump. Hope that people bite on that.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
And, you know, maybe people in Chicago are dumb enough to do it. I don't think so. I mean, I think you can't slap some spit in somebody's face enough times and tell them it's raining and they'll just keep believing it.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
I'm not sure anyone should express their politics because we want them to. Like, you know what I mean? No. It's like... Well, it's like, why aren't these guys speaking out more? Maybe, you know, maybe they have a life that would be harmed by it, like their industry would be ruined. Does it bother me that all I hear from the vocal celebrities is leftism? Yeah, it bothers me.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
But I realize that the celebrities that you don't hear from, they're not liberal. Because there is no... There is no... for a liberal to be quiet. Right, right. But there certainly is one for being silent. So the quiet ones are on your side, and I always love that when I find that out. Yeah, because they're doing it without making a lot of noise. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
Roadhouse. Roadhouse. Roadhouses. Listen, here's the deal. We need another Bruce Willis. We need another balding 30 something year old who doesn't look like he works out to come in and save the day with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Masculinity needs to be brought back. Maybe a Tom Hardy type guy to come out and do some more movies and not talk at all, because that's what he does.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
It's a veritable smorgasbord of men. Listen, the bottom line is, though. Same with ladies. We have been putting out movies for a good while now.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
All right. First question and probably the only one from Michael B. Which store did you love shopping at when you were younger? I'm assuming like as a teenager, young kid going to a store. Paul, you and I are roughly the same age, but you grew up on a different side of the country. I was raised by wolves.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
Oh, yeah. Did you stand topless at the door? No, by the time I got there, we had to wear a shirt.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
Yeah, I turned down that place a lot. They used to give me their car, Joey. What about, where'd you shop?
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
The flea market. All the good stuff came from the flea market. I got all the G.I. Joe stuff slightly worn out. We got all of our socks and underwear at the flea market. Big D's was the big one to go to. It's still around. So, yeah, know a little bit more about me. You think it's a joke, don't you?
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
Yeah, where I come from, an urban outfitter is a guy with a bunch of stuff in the back of his truck.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
Well, I shopped at the Hillsdale Mall in San Mateo when it was outdoors. That's putting you way back. They had banana records. They had the Sunset House. Do you know, like, what are those places called, novelty stores, where you'd buy, like, you'd buy a glass and the ice cubes would... Spencers. Spencers. Spencer's Gifts. It was like the first Spencer's Gift.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
I would buy stupid things like, yeah, ice cubes with naked ladies on them. Yeah, you did. Black light posters. I had so many of them. One more thing.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
You are the worst. All right. Tonight, we have a great show. Tom Shalhoub. All right. This is – I'm looking at the wrong thing. David Angelo, Joey Jones, Michelle Tafoya, Dagan Dell. And remember, if you want to come see me, go to gutfeld.com. I'll be in Grand Rapids, Rockford, Allentown, Foxwoods, Prescott, Sugar Land. Go to my website, ggutfeld.com. All right, let's do this real quickly.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
Sexy bear news. All right. This is Benton. Check him out. This black bear rolling in a pile of fresh pine.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
All right, real quick, if you haven't had a chance yet, go check out, I've got a new book out. It's called Behind the Badge. I'm not great at promoting things. You can go buy yours. You can go order yours now, preorder it. It's called Behind the Badge. You can get it at foxnewsbooks.com. You can get one.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
You can't get this one because I've already given this one to Greg, where I told him thank you for the friendship, mentorship, and ball-busting. Thank you, kind sir. Yes, absolutely. He's your mentor? I said mentorship. You can gain something from everybody.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
They want to control research. No, they don't, Joey. I mean, look what's happening. I mean, I wouldn't send my kid to one of those schools.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
I'm sorry. President Trump is the president of hard reset because we've put our country in a place where we need it. All this complaining about Doge, how they're using a meat cleaver instead of a surgical knife. Well, that's because when you do the surgical knife method, it gets convoluted in what is government and bureaucracy.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
So a lot of these things are hard resets, and it's okay if it pisses people off because we need it. Maybe if you get passionate about it beyond your partisanship, maybe then you'll look for a real solution.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
So if everybody's—I mean, I don't know who didn't see the committee hearing where Elise Stefanik grilled the university presidents, and they all looked absolutely foolish to the point that one of them— kind of lost her job over it.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
So when you say, you know, the Trump administration wants to dictate who's in charge of these colleges, there's a difference between wants to make sure that these essentially bad actors aren't in charge of the college and deciding who gets to be in charge of the college. No one's under any belief that Harvard's going to be a conservative university or that
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
Columbia is going to be a conservative university. Columbia goes back 20 years of hating on veterans. You think they're ever going to change their ways? No, that's exactly what they are. They're extreme left. That's what the university is. That's who they hire. That's the culture they've bred. And the government does play a role because it is a government's job. to keep us safe.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
That's the reason why even conservatives believe in a big, strong defense. And so it's our government's job to keep us safe. And one of those roles and responsibilities is helping administer the law and decide who gets to come into our country and who gets to stay. And if you're coming here to sow hate and discontent, then you're asked to be on the first plane or bus out of here.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
THE IRONY IS JUST A FEW YEARS AGO WE NEEDED SAFE SPACES ON CAMPUSES BECAUSE SOMEONE LIKE TOMMY IS GOING TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS SO BAD YOU NEED HOSPITAL TIME. BY THE WAY, THAT WAS ALL LIBERAL VIOLENCE TOO BECAUSE EVERY TIME SOMEBODY LIKE TOMMY WENT TO SPEAK THEY stormed into the room and pushed people around, and they had to rush them out of the college.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
So there's a book called The Coddling of the American Mind. It's not written by conservatives, and they give you a great history on how these colleges and universities have gone down the drain on this, how they're not for free speech, which is crazy. Like, oh, there's got to be free speech and free thought. Well, that's not what they are.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
The right opinion from the right isn't allowed on these college campuses. It just isn't. And if you're brave enough to do it, you're not going to make good grades. I mean, it's that simple.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
Yeah, this is not about stopping free speech or trying to take control of colleges. That's ridiculous. This is about finally challenging a destructive mindset that has poisoned academia. And it's a poison that the academics, These academic places have abdicated their role and they've let it happen. This wouldn't have to happen if they actually fought this mind virus. It's the oppression filter.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
For some reason, one segment of society gets a free punch and the other segment of society receives it. It isn't just on campuses. There are actually literally people getting punched online. on our streets because they deserve it.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
If you look at no cash bail, decriminalization of mass theft, allowing for trespassing, squatting, violent protest, vandalism, harassment, there is an idea that has come out of the campuses that a segment of society is owed a free punch. And the Jews, they deserve the punch. That's what you're learning here. Why is that? Well, they're white-coded and they're successful.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
In the same vein that the white South African farmers, nobody cares about them. Why is that? Because they're white. So they aren't allowed. In the oppressor-oppression mindset... They are still the oppressor, even when they're the victims. When Jews are victims, they are still the oppressor. Why? I just told you.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
If I were a parent of a high school kid, I would really worry about the ease at which these really bad ideas can take hold of your child. You know, when you send your kid off to school, you're hoping that they're bad. They get an education. But now you have to think about how do I inoculate them so they're not swept up in a violent-minded ideology?
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
You know, the fault lies in this oppression narrative. It is a successful narrative because you see it everywhere. We now have academia where intolerant mobs are portrayed as the progressives, as the champions of free speech. Oh, my God, they're taking these mob speech away. No, they're not. Do you know what? If we stopped... supporting the Israeli conflict, do you think they would go away? No.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
The mission is in the protest. They would find something else. So right now, we are the victim of a narrative that is being pushed by people who hate the West. In a perfect world, you would be able to be away from these people. But those two Jewish victims, they weren't harming anyone. You know, the wolf came for them. They were they were on campus.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
You know, how can you be sure your kids, you know, are going to be safe when they go to school? I don't give three flying F's if Harvard loses students to Oxford. Boo effing who? You deserve it. You deserve it. You do not care. They have allowed this mindset to infect thousands, millions of people.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
Yeah, the Democrats sure wish we'd stop talking about all the devastating Joe Biden cover-up headlines. Well, too bad. One of the Obama bros is now admitting that he soft-pedaled concerns about our geriatric former president, and here's why.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
Hmm. Well, you saw the liberal Daily Show host, Jon Stewart. He's warning his fellow Democrats that anyone with the stench of Joe Biden on them is going to have a tough time scrubbing it off.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
Greg, what's with Democrats and presidents that just their health falls apart? We got FDR. Now you got Biden.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
I didn't see that. Just need to see. I think you need a third one for a trend. Jimmy Carter passed away. So I'll help you there.
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
Old for a long time. They're realizing that they need a Trump of their own. And they're right, because Trump took on the establishment, not just the Democrats. He took on everybody. They need that because they need somebody to take on their party. But they have to realize that it was their treatment of Trump specifically that got him to this juncture. Why was why did they tolerate protect Trump?
The Five
The Five 05-23-2025
And enable a decrepit president because they convinced themselves that that Trump was Orange Hitler and that anything was better than Orange Hitler. Leave nothing on the table. Everything was on the table, including lying, creating a cover up because, you know, a corpse would be better. A corpse would be better than Trump. Scott Adams lays it out. I'm going to keep mentioning him every day.