Joe Theismann
Appearances
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
that he asked for the moon and stars from UNC thinking, there's no way they're going to give me everything I want. I'll give them a 400-page document that says everything I want, how I want the university to run, including making my son the coach in waiting, who probably doesn't belong getting that kind of job. But they did it. They're like, yes, yes, we'll do all of that.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
And he's just like, oh, okay, well, if you're going to do everything, it reminds me of when Phil Jackson went to the Knicks because they just kept badgering him with money.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
When you go on a recruiting trip, bring your girlfriend and your Super Bowl rings. There you go. That's it. Fucking like that. All eight of them.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
To Billy's point, the way this came about was kind of out of nowhere. Like, Bill Belichick's not going to college. Hey, Bill Belichick might go to college. Oh, my God, Bill Belichick's going to college. If this was more well-known, if Bill Belichick was like, I want to go coach in college, how many other of these college teams do you think would have been like, you know what?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
Maybe we should do this. Maybe we should go get Bill Belichick. Let's get rid of our guy and do that.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
I'm not surprised. You know, everybody, everybody obviously thought that he would be, you know, back in professional football. But to me, you know, I think there was a time back. I remember Coach Shula. There was a lot of talk about him really wanting the Notre Dame job. I think there are certain jobs in football that coaches really, really look forward to.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
Certainly, it's going to be a heck of a lot less stress than there is in the professional part. I would say that the season is shorter, but now when you start to look at the addition of the playoff games, I mean, we've got colleges playing almost 15 weeks of football, so that really isn't going to change that much. But I think it's a new, exciting challenge for them.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
I think that's really what we're looking at, is it's a different, new, exciting challenge.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
Well, I enjoyed the season. I just didn't necessarily like the way they made the selections. And the reason I say that is I know it's difficult. I know this is the first year. I understand that totally. But from my perspective, if you're an 11-1 football team – You have conference champions getting automatic buys.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
Well, what happens if you're not in a conference and you're a really good football team? Are you being, you know, questions? Are you being penalized because you're not in a conference and you have a better record than those that are? And that's, you know, I think that's some of the tweaks they're going to have to do.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
But as far as foundationally goes, getting started with a college playoff, this is a great place to start.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
So if you beat one of the academies, it becomes a minus.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
Exactly right. They teach us how to keep on fighting no matter what the score is. They do. They teach us to. And this was one of the things when playing the academies and we were bigger at the time when I was at Notre Dame. I think Mike, you know, probably felt the same way as we were bigger. And as the game went on, we managed to wear him down a little bit.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
But man, I'll tell you, from the first kickoff to the final whistle, you better be ready for a fight. Because there's no quitting these guys. They're not giving up. They're going to keep on coming at you. And that's all part of the military. And that's what's so exciting for me, being part of the Army-Navy game. If Army was in the playoffs, would they still play the Army-Navy game?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
This to me is a game that has to continue. I don't know what would happen if Army was in the playoffs. And, you know, we don't have to worry about that right now. But I mean, the USAA does such a tremendous job with our game here, the Army-Navy game. I'm excited. I've never been to one.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
And I'm looking so forward to the opportunity to be able to be there, to the pageantry, to see everybody in uniform, to watch these two teams play, 8-3 and 11-1. This is going to be different than, I think, Army-Navy games before where basically they ran the ball a lot. Army wants to control the game. Navy wants to put points up through the air a little bit more.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
So there's so many wonderful things that are going on with it. And it's really a chance for the country to come together. It's the only game of the weekend. And I think it should remain that way. And that's what makes it special. And these are young men and women that are leaders. Here's the other thing, too, is, you know, people come up to us as athletes all the time and they call us heroes.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
We're not heroes. We're just and appreciate it. Believe me. But, you know, we're just somebody God gave a gift to the ability to run, jump, throw, whatever it might be. And from my perspective, those young men and women that are playing in this game and at the academies and those young men and women that are in uniform around the world, those that put that uniform on are out there defending us.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
And any chance you get to be able to say thank you to someone in a uniform, let them know how much you appreciate them. So to me, they're the real heroes because if we go to work and play ball, no matter what it is, you come home. When they go out and do their job, there's no guarantee. And that's why they should be celebrated and appreciated.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
And it's an honor to be a part of this particular game.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
Yeah, we are. What they're doing is they're retrofitted vehicles. It's going to take place 11 o'clock at the National Mall on Friday, tomorrow. And we're basically giving away vehicles, one to Matthew Walker with the Navy. and Caleb Dooley, who's with the Army National Guard. And they're going to be receiving these vehicles. And so much work has gone into it.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
So many people have contributed to it. Like I say, USAA is the driving sponsor for this. And it's special to be able to provide someone wheels to be able to do the things that they need to do. Instead of having to figure out a way to get to work, they'll have the opportunity to get in their car and be able to drive.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
And like I say, Robert's going to present to the army and I get to present to the Navy.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
Are we bad people, Joe? Oh, no. I think they know how much you love them and they appreciate it. And the fact that you just don't want to spend any money on your dad, I mean, that's up to you, unfortunately.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
Well, see, now here's the thing. This is the thing. If I'm making you feel bad, that means that you should get gifts. So he gets mad at me. That's OK. Let him get mad. Let him get mad. Believe me. Let me tell you something. Parents are something special. I've lost both both my mom and my dad. And they're you know, they're just a special part of your life.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
And to me, you know, they'll tell you all the time. Don't get me anything. I don't need anything. I don't want anything. Yeah. OK, fine. But I'm giving you this anyway because you deserve it. And do whatever you want with it, but I want you to know I appreciate you. So in all honesty and not joking around, yeah, I think you should give them gifts. I really do.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
You're not bad people. I feel terrible. You just honor them that way.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
You know, a hug, a gift can be a look. There's so many ways you can define what a gift is. And to me, you know, I think parents earn the right to be able to get one in some way, shape or form.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
Extremely, extremely impressed. I'm impressed with everything about him. I've had a chance to be with him, sat down at lunch with him, get to know the young man a little bit. He's as great a person as we've seen him as a player. And he has great composure. Throws the ball extremely well. And this is something we haven't had in Washington for a while. Throws the ball down the field extremely well.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
And that's really what you look for is you're looking for chunk plays in our game. You're not going to go 10, 11, 12 plays all the time. And it's very difficult to do it on a number of occasions. But if you can get those big plays, which he's able to do, I think it makes a world of difference. And you've got to give Cliff Kingsbury, I think, a lot of credit. Yeah.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
I think it's because of his age, because there's nothing I'm going to get him that he won't just get for himself.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
You know, like what Caleb's going through in Chicago, turmoil as a coordinator, turmoil everywhere around him. There is stability with Jaden. There's stability in what he's able to do. And I love the way Cliff starts a game with him. He gets the ball out of his hands. I remember when Peyton Manning first went to the Indianapolis Colts, Tom Moore was the coach.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
Tom, Pittsburgh coach, now he's in Tampa, still coaching. And I sat with him one day, we were doing an Indianapolis game, and I said, how do you deal with Peyton? He says, first of all, you have to keep giving him stuff because he continues to want to get better and better and better. You have to have a bucket full of things to present to him.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
But I made my mind up that I didn't want to get him beat up physically or mentally. So in his first year there, the routes were short. He got the ball out of his hands and he developed the ability to be the Hall of Famer that he is to be able to get the ball out, to be able to not take negative plays. And what I see so often now in the you mentioned, Caleb, in the Chicago situation is.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
managing a game and people would say oh this guy's just a manager that's not an insult guys that's a compliment because it means that you're not making you don't start changing plays when there's 30 seconds on the clock you don't start throwing the ball into when you have a chance to score thrown in in places where you're not going to get a chance to put points on the board
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
You're sliding to protect yourself. You're getting out of bounds. You know, that's a manager. And so if somebody called me a manager of a game, hey, I'm thrilled because that's my job. If you look definition of a quarterback, manage the game, that's your definition. And Brady was a manager.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
Even at the end. You know, even at the end, you know, the last Peyton won the Super Bowl in Denver. Great defense, but he outmanaged the game over Cam Newton. Right. Cam was on the other side of the, you know, he was quarterback Carolina and Peyton managed the way he couldn't throw like he did when he was younger. He knew that, but he managed it so well.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
And this is this is just, you know, classic Peyton.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
not really already done that they already did no need to worry joe yeah you're afraid what's happening here i'm not a rear view i'm not a rear view mirror guy i'm looking through that windshield seeing where we're going not what happened behind us right you kind of want to get that off the resume that blemish though you know what i'm saying get a second double or nothing there's no eraser on it that's the problem it's there
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
It's not like you have this giant eraser and you're just... It ain't going away.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
USAA, who's been... actually a title sponsor for the Army-Navy game for over 100 years, as providing an opportunity for two servicemen at this point to be able to receive vehicles. They're retrofitted vehicles. And the presentation will take place on the National Mall at 11 o'clock on Friday the 13th, oddly enough.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
And they're going to be given an opportunity to have vehicles because they need rides. And that's basically what USAA is doing, is they're providing them an opportunity. I'll give one to the young man representing the Navy, and Robert Griffin III will do it for the young man representing the Army.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
I appreciate it, guys. Thanks so much. Thanks for taking some time with me.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
I think I'm coming for that spot. I think I'm coming for sixth then.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
Get them back in there. I'm with you. Sims, I'm 100% with you. We don't have enough money for Juan Soto, but we'll give an eight-year contract, a record-breaking contract to a pitcher who pitches 19 games a year. Brian Kessler is terrible.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
That's right. There's a lot of talent. You just have to deal with that owner.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
Yes. Is that worse? Is that like, I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed? Like, the jokes I could take, but I feel like that line was like, ow.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
We're going to throw that out. No, no, no. Yeah. Do it in a Southern accent where they care about. Yes. That's what I need now. All right. Do you need a second? Do you want to give him a week next week?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
All right, fine. So last week didn't count for K-Funk. It just counted for two chick funk.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
I am a fake tree person who married into a real tree family and lost all ability to choose for myself. Wow.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
Not only do I get to clean up the pine needles, I get to get my ass up on Black Friday, drive to the tree farm and take all those awkward pictures and then get down and cut the tree down and haul it to the car and wrap it up and all that. I get I get to do that. knowing full well that I would much rather have the artificial tree.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
Welcome to married life. You should do it, Golic.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
GBF- Christmas All Year
It's a bit of a town in America. Yeah. Every town in America has them.