Jerry Turning
Appearances
Dateline NBC
Accused killer's voice on a 911 call in Michigan. A hike in paradise gone terribly wrong. And Karen Read's retrial begins.
It's a classic feud between these two prominent rappers.
Dateline NBC
Accused killer's voice on a 911 call in Michigan. A hike in paradise gone terribly wrong. And Karen Read's retrial begins.
I was second in command of my police department. And when I go home today, I am scared to death. If I ever have to call for help for my son, I'm going to hesitate.
Dateline NBC
Accused killer's voice on a 911 call in Michigan. A hike in paradise gone terribly wrong. And Karen Read's retrial begins.
Yeah, my son, his name is Eric, Anna's brother. He has been an amazing, eye-opening experience for us.
Dateline NBC
Accused killer's voice on a 911 call in Michigan. A hike in paradise gone terribly wrong. And Karen Read's retrial begins.
Yeah, it's interesting, Angie. I was a cop for 10 years before my son was diagnosed. I'd been involved in multiple large-scale searches for individuals on the spectrum when they have gone missing. And it's sad to say that I have not, in my 25-year career, I had not received one minute of formal training or education on this topic.
Dateline NBC
Accused killer's voice on a 911 call in Michigan. A hike in paradise gone terribly wrong. And Karen Read's retrial begins.
And I realized very quickly that what I had to learn in the education I was receiving about my son, just to be a dad and to be a parent raising a son on the spectrum, was directly correlating to what I should have known as a police officer.
Dateline NBC
Accused killer's voice on a 911 call in Michigan. A hike in paradise gone terribly wrong. And Karen Read's retrial begins.
And for very selfish reasons, I decided to tackle this because what happens if my son, who is now 21 years old, six feet tall, 200 pounds, what happens if he meets somebody out there that I call brother? They misunderstand him. They mischaracterize who he is and the behaviors he is displaying. And they hurt my son. How are you training people to better handle these situations?
Dateline NBC
Accused killer's voice on a 911 call in Michigan. A hike in paradise gone terribly wrong. And Karen Read's retrial begins.
Well, the first step is understanding that this stuff is hard. A lot of these behaviors that these individuals will display will directly mimic things that we've been taught in the police academy to show intoxication, evasiveness, disrespect. All of it's very valid 98% of the time.
Dateline NBC
Accused killer's voice on a 911 call in Michigan. A hike in paradise gone terribly wrong. And Karen Read's retrial begins.
But that 2% of the time where that individual is on the spectrum and he's not interacting with you the way we expect, that's where we find ourselves in dangerous waters as law enforcement.
Dateline NBC
Accused killer's voice on a 911 call in Michigan. A hike in paradise gone terribly wrong. And Karen Read's retrial begins.
needs to show up. Well, this dances around a pretty controversial topic about privacy, and there's a large segment of our population who say that they don't want their child labeled or somehow looked at as different. I understand that, and I value that opinion. However, from my perspective as a cop for 25 years, I'm a big proponent of information.
Dateline NBC
Accused killer's voice on a 911 call in Michigan. A hike in paradise gone terribly wrong. And Karen Read's retrial begins.
So if a family were to ask me my advice, my advice would be to, in any way possible— Make that officer understand that this individual they're interacting with is on the autism spectrum, has whatever sensory challenges, communication challenges, whatever it is that that family understands about that person. Make sure that that is clear.
Dateline NBC
Accused killer's voice on a 911 call in Michigan. A hike in paradise gone terribly wrong. And Karen Read's retrial begins.
Whether that comes verbally or whether it's using some of these ID technology that exists, whether it's an ID bracelet, they're popping up all over the place. Special needs registries now that you can register your child with your law enforcement organization. Anything that can put it out there. that there's a certain special circumstance here I'm a proponent of.
Dateline NBC
Accused killer's voice on a 911 call in Michigan. A hike in paradise gone terribly wrong. And Karen Read's retrial begins.
I realized very quickly that what I had to learn about raising a son on the spectrum was directly correlating to what I should have known as a police officer.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
That dispatcher takes that information, puts it in a computer and dispatches a police officer. The way that dispatcher puts in the call in that computer is domestic assault in progress. The officer receives that information and he wants to respond to that parking lot, right? You would not be a human being if that didn't land with you a certain way.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
When we hear domestic assault in progress, we go into a certain mode. We're rushing to get there. We want to save this woman from being assaulted. We want to take care of business and lock up this guy. And who does this guy think he is? And what kind of a bully hits a woman? You would not be human if you didn't go into a mode when that happens. And I explained to them, I'm not blaming you at all.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
I was that guy. All I'm saying is be careful. And when you get there, if you hear that mom screaming, he's autistic, he's autistic. This is my son.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
You have to be receptive enough to take a pause and not plow through that as a criminal thing and actually be open to, well, something else is here. Maybe there's something else going on. And here's the hardest part, Tony. Understand you are not the expert there. When you respond to that call, it doesn't matter if mom is injured. She's still the expert on that scene about this individual.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
I thought I knew about this stuff, but when a doctor says those words to you, when a doctor sits across the desk and tells you your son is autistic, it has a way of rearranging your life a little bit. In a flash of lightning, I realized that I had a lot to learn about this topic.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
Approaching that with humility, asking questions of that person, of the caretaker. asking questions of the person you're trying to get cooperation and compliance from, being humble and understanding you are not the end-all be-all there.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
Okay, you are a person with authority, but you have to be humble enough to know that there are people on that scene that know more about what you're stepping into than you do. I don't say they have to have all the answers. I do preach that they have to know what questions to ask. Like, ma'am, is there something sensory going on here? Can I help him out in some way to get him through this?
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
Or do you have any techniques that work at home where I could help him through this? Asking the right questions is 90% of the battle. Well, that's not true. Identifying what you're looking at as not a criminal thing, as not an assault, that's most of it. And then asking the right questions. Does that make sense?
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
Yeah.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
Yes, that's been the most unexpectedly gratifying thing about what I do. I have not yet had one, and I travel a lot. I haven't had one class yet where at least one individual, a cop or a first responder or whoever, will come up to me either during a break or at the end and say, you know, my daughter was diagnosed five years ago and you really explained a lot of this to me. And we're out there.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
I mean, cops with special needs kids, I meet them every single day. I think law enforcement especially, we're very, I don't know, guarded with information. We are private. So to coax those individuals out of the corner and get them involved and share their experiences, it's a challenge, but it's a lot of fun when it happens. And I get three real cool compliments when I do this.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
One will say, the officer will come up to me and say, wow, yeah, I really understand my community a little better. Thank you. Which is awesome. I have another one will come up to me and say, I really understand my child a little better or my nephew or my niece. And I really appreciate that. And that's awesome. Then I get this other one. Tony, which is really, really wild.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
As a dad, for personal reasons, I had to get to work and I had to start studying this and learn what this was and what it meant for my family. As I went on, started that process, it became clear to me that what I was learning as a dad was directly relevant to what I should know as a cop. The spark was lit at that point.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
I have the officers come up to me and say, hey, you really helped me explain myself better. I understand some things I do differently now that I've always wondered about. Why do I constantly drive in my patrol car and play with this pocket knife all day and Now I know I'm stimming and it's a sensory thing. I never really understood that about myself. And that's the pinnacle for me.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
When people start to understand themselves a little better and see themselves in these examples I give of sensory processing world that we all kind of live in, that's really cool. And it fuels me. It fuels me. I love it. I live for it.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
Yeah. Yes.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
Yeah, I do. I do quite a bit with this. I don't think dispatchers is a bad term, but it's where I say it. I think they like to be called communications professionals, whatever that term is. I do a lot of speaking to them. Yes, there are things that they can be aware of and have an ear out for.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
The worst thing for me to have happen would be to have people be paralyzed because they're trying to overthink situations. And the reality is these people, these professionals have to gather facts, get the officers rolling to the scene quickly, efficiently. So I don't want to just say, no, we got to stop and ask all these questions. I'm very realistic with how this works.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
However, though, when you have a woman on the phone calling 911 saying, I need help with my son, he's autistic and he's nonverbal and he's having an emotional crisis. I have a very low bar at this point. I need that to land a certain way. I need them to understand that that information that she is giving you is important.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
And if you don't translate that to the officers who are responding to that call, we have a problem.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
And we gotta be honest too, a lot of times families don't know how to communicate this. And especially when you're in the heat of a moment and it's an emergency, you lose your ability to think clearly and offer information that would be important. So having these communications professionals know to tease this information out and get this information that is important
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
not just operating by, well, anything important. She's going to offer it. That mom, of course, she's going to tell me if this person is nonverbal. No, you can't rely on that. She may not. And believe me, again, from failure, I've lost my son five times, lost him in his life, you know, requiring help. And I was a level-headed cop.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
Pretty early on in my son's diagnosis and getting an education on what autism was, I started as best I could in my own area regionally, just educating other cops and first responders about this and teaching them about people like my son.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
I think I was involved in some pretty hairy things and got through it well. When you lose your child or you're dealing with an emotional crisis, like at that level with your own child, rational thinking is not easy, even for the best of us. And that stress and trauma will rob you of your ability to properly communicate things, even things that seem logical.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
Of course she's going to say on the phone that her child is autistic and nonverbal. No, no, you'd be amazed that they just can't properly put it all together and communicate it.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
But there are other tools now, and this is really important. We're getting on top of this now. We're wrapping our brains around this now in my community and law enforcement and first responders. And now there are tools like registries.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
You can register your home or your car with your police department and first aid and fire where you don't have to rely on being able to get this information out in the heat of the moment. You can have your home flagged, person with special needs lives here.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
And oh, by the way, there are fields you can enter all the information you want, including not just height, weight, and things like that, including triggers, what sets him off, including ways to deescalate, including things that he loves. If your son loves Spider-Man and he won't stop talking about Spider-Man and that in the registry. So when the officer gets dispatched to your home, it's passive.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
It comes up on his terminal in his car, all of this information that you have put in there when it was calm. when you were thinking rationally, to be edited and updated. So when that officer receives that call, all of a sudden now we're not relying on the dispatcher asking the right questions. We're not relying on the mom offering or suggesting information.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
All of a sudden now we're relying on completely unemotional data that was entered in when everything's cool.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
and that officer is going to see on the screen tommy loves spider-man and if a possible de-escalation technique would would be to get him to start talking about spider-man that is a solid gold nugget of information that that officer can receive without relying on the human element here without relying on on communication from the individual
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
and yes there is a privacy argument and there's some families that there's the whole the whole big brother thing that i'm very much respectful of some people don't want their child in registries they don't want the government to i get that and i respect it um but as the cop who's been dispatched to these houses i've never seen a call go badly due to too much information
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
it was cool i was doing it through my department through my agency as i was going through my career and then when i retired in 2021 jumped full bore into it and created a company called blue bridge autism training this is what i do now i travel across the country as often as my family will tolerate and i teach cops and first responders and anybody who will listen to me talk about these amazing people trying to bridge that gap and just make the world a little bit a little bit safer than when i found it and that's kind of my mission
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
I've seen thousands go sideways due to not enough information. And that's where I land. They opened up a registry in my county. My son was the first one registered. First one. And I'm proud of that. His number in the system is 000001. I fully believe in that. In whatever form it takes.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
whether it's technology, computers involved, or whether it's a sticker on the window of your house, however we can to communicate to these responding people in an emergency that our child has specific challenges and needs, I'm a proponent of, with a head nod towards the privacy argument that I am respectful of.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
If I'm speaking, I think we are, if I'm speaking to families, to special needs parents and families, and even individuals who themselves are on the spectrum, the one lesson I need them to take away is my profession is a noble profession.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
i firmly believe we are good guys people who get into this want to help do we have a lot to learn yes when these events happen when it goes bad when a mistake is made i fully understand the anger and frustration and all of those emotions that you feel i share them too okay however it's not a spectator sport all right so what happens is when these bad events happen
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
Whether it's a viral video of a little seven-year-old getting handcuffed in a classroom, whatever it is, the tendency is to start screaming and clamoring about, well, we need more training, more training, more training. And they're 100% right. I am out there trying to do that. And a lot of the best people I've ever met are out there doing that, giving the training.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
But the reality is there's a lot that family can do on their own without the help of some guy in New Jersey who's going to fly across the country and train their department. And it's not that hard.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
All they have to do is take a nice quiet Sunday when their child is in a good place emotionally and is happy, take a ride to your police department, knock on the door, literally knock on the door, introduce the child to that officer, whoever it is opens the door, Hello, Officer Smith. This is Tommy. We live at 123 Main Street.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
I just want you to meet him and shake his hand and start that interaction. You're doing a couple of different things there. A, you are solidifying in your child's mind what a police officer is. And if we can solidify that that is a good guy, that that is not somebody to be afraid of. Wow, he was actually kind of cool, Officer Tony. You are setting in motion a lifelong set of beliefs.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
Also, you are training that cop. You are training that officer much better than I can because I can use anecdotal stories. I can use videos. But for that officer who works in your town to interact with your child and see the stims, see the hand flapping, see whatever idiosyncrasies your child has, see the challenge of communication, that's training I can't replicate, right? I can't do that.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
And by the way, that's the very officer who may be coming to your house at 3 in the morning and in a crisis. And how much better off would you be if that officer who's responding to your home already knew your child, right? Already knew that he loves SpongeBob, right? And he gets dispatched in his car and it's like 123 Main Street, the Smith residence. He's like, oh, I know that kid.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
He loves cars, whatever. I don't think people give enough credit to that part of this. This doesn't take a grand governmental kind of program. It takes people meeting people. It takes interaction and exposure. That's my takeaway. That's what I would ask them to do.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
It was my honor, sir. Thank you for doing what you do for our families, and I appreciate you using your voice to spread the good word. I appreciate it.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
I think it might be a generalization, but I think police officers specifically, we're not lacking in confidence, in self-confidence. I think it's an important part of the job. You have to believe in yourself and believe in your instincts and abilities. So early on, the first 10 years of my career, I had never received any formal training on autism or anything like it.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
I had seen some depictions in Hollywood. I'd seen some TV shows. I thought, okay, I get it. I know what that is. And I was arrogant enough to believe that what I didn't know, I could just trust my instincts and muddle through if I ever was confronted with an issue, including, by the way, some serious issues.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
I was the guy with my dog you would dispatch to find these individuals when they go missing. The old adage is you trust your dog and you don't overthink it. But In reality is we put our dogs in a position to succeed.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
So that arrogance that I thought I knew enough about this, when my son was diagnosed, it became clear to me that just by the grace of God, that first 10 years of my career, I had gotten lucky. That I didn't get in trouble, that I didn't get either physically hurt or legally hurt based on the ignorance of what this was. And it was a really, really stark reminder that we have to stay humble.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
And there's a lot that we have to learn in law enforcement about a number of subsets of our population, but this one especially. And the reality is a lot of the behaviors that present from somebody who's on the spectrum, whatever their degree of affectation, a lot of the behaviors...
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
mimic what we're taught in the police academy to be um characteristics of somebody who's intoxicated under the influence of narcotics somebody who's being uh evasive or trying to hide something eye contact is a real good example of that one and a lot of these areas when i do this training i do it yes because i want to make the officers better public servants of course i
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
I present it in a way like, guys, listen to me. Yeah, I want you to be motivated to be better public servants, but I also want you to be motivated that you are exposed to risk and liability here. We make these split-second decisions based on our training and instincts. We make hundreds of those decisions a day. A lot of them culminate in taking somebody's civil liberties from them temporarily.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
A lot of them significantly impact lives.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
in this particular sliver of our job our training and instincts and experience can mislead us and they can lie to us you'll be interviewing somebody or talking to somebody and you'll swear that that person is either under the influence of something or is being evasive or is being disrespectful or a number of different things where 99 times out of 100 you're right he's hiding something but that one out of 100 times where there's something else at play or that individual is there is no malice there is no intent to deceive there is no disrespect
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
That's where we are exposed to some dangers there. So when I deliver the message that way, I see body language change. All of a sudden, these officers who, you know, they're being respectful and they want to learn. But when I turn it and say, listen, give yourself permission to be selfish here. You're exposed. You're exposed to some risk and liability. I see the light bulbs go off at that moment.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
Well, first of all, I start here, and you have to stipulate this. This stuff is hard. This is a challenge, right? And anybody who teaches this from a holier-than-thou point of view will lose the room. I think that's why I'm good at what I do, because first of all, I've done this job for a long time. I have been in the situation you just described. I have been the officer dispatched to the houses.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
These people are having an emotional crisis with their child. I have been the guy tasked with finding these individuals when they go missing. I also have been the father. I've been the dad who is scared to death to call 911 for assistance with my son because I don't know the guy coming through that door.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
And I don't know if he's going to be the right makeup, the right insights, the right education about what this is. to help? Or is he going to come in and pour fuel on a fire? And two things wake me up these days, two things, including last night. Number one is who's going to take care of my son when I'm gone.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
The other one is what happens if my son, who's now six feet tall, 200 pounds, meets somebody I call brother, an officer out there, and they misunderstand him, mischaracterize who he is, what he is, and hurt him. That drives me.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
That alone, Tony, when I convey that message to these officers, listen to me, please understand, I am not one of these voices screaming about defunding the police and calling you all bullies and thugs. I am not that. I need you to understand I'm an ally for you, okay? I also stipulate this stuff is hard. If this stuff wasn't hard, if it was easy and intuitive, they wouldn't need me.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
and you wouldn't see these videos going viral on on youtube of officers making mistakes i have to gain their trust first once i have that it doesn't doesn't take a lot we can cops are pretty pretty good at reading reading the room explain that i want the lessons i'm going to teach you are based on failing i fail miserably weekly with my son
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
And a lot of the things we're going to talk about are not intuitive. A lot of the things that I've, that I grew up, I'm a conservative guy. I always believe in discipline and rules are rules and all of these things. Sometimes with a certain subset of our population that is growing, right? Those rules don't apply.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
I wish I could, Tony. I wish I could give a template, a flow chart, that if you see this, then you do this, and then this will happen. And I can't do that, and I don't even try to offer it. What I do, though, is give them insight, generally speaking, broad insights on where these individuals, where this population is challenged, where they may have a challenge.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
I explain it with stories from my own personal family and stories from my professional career. And I trust them to be nimble and agile in that moment, to use the glimpse I can give them into our world and be professional. When you say, like, how do you teach them to know the difference? I can't. I can give you some general things.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
Like, you know, we go over a lot of the sensory challenges for individuals on the spectrum, sensory processing challenges, and how that can directly impact behavior. And all I try to do is plant seeds, just have their radar pinging that this individual that you run into in the back of some woman's yard at three in the morning. Yeah, chances are that person's a predator.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
Chances are the person's, you know, up to no good. But I just want to plant the seed in your head that as you're interviewing them, start to look for these characteristics, these traits that just, I call it a glitch in the matrix. They're not responding to you the way a typical quote unquote criminal would.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
And if you can start to look at these indicators, like hand flapping, toe walking, things like scripting and echolalia and pretty common behaviors for the autism community, if you start to look at them and wear them on top of each other while you're having these interactions with these people, you'll see that it'll lead you to a different conclusion than you otherwise would have.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
and not rely on, well, he wouldn't look me in the eye or make eye contact, so that was proof of guilt. It's evidence of guilt. He was being evasive. He's trying to hide something. A lot of times that's true.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
I don't want to downplay the validity of that interrogation and interviewing because it's reliable, statistically proven, except for roughly 2% to 5% of our population where that rule doesn't apply. I offer insights. I offer information. I offer glimpses into our world without seeming like I am coming down on them as ignorant thugs for not knowing this. You know what I mean?
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
And I think that approach is critical.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
Oh, back in the day? Well, in 2007, I was a bonehead. I handled my son's diagnosis about as poorly as a parent could. My wife knew well before I did. Her radar was pinging on this really, really early. I mean, like a year and a half. And, you know, all the things. Your son stops, you know, he doesn't hit his milestones. He's not pointing at objects that draw his attention. He really...
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
Minimal interest in playing with other kids. The verbal milestones weren't there. And then as a dad, I was going through this thing like I didn't want to hear it. I just didn't want to be confronted with this. And, you know, I would say things like, well, he's our second child. Our daughter is advanced. So we're comparing him to her.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
I remember even calling up our pediatrician at one point, asking him to call my wife to tell her that our son is fine. There's nothing going on there. He told me, he goes, Jerry, I'm sorry, I can't do that. And that's where I think it crystallized in my head, like, okay, you've really got to turn and face this and start this process of having them evaluated.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
Yeah, I bear it all. And I think that's an important part of it. I think it's important that they understand, A, that I am not trying to say I'm a know-it-all or I'm the perfect father. I've failed miserably, including early on. And it's funny, this path I took of training cops and first responders, in a way, it's the most selfish thing I do.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
In a way, it was a way for me to gain some control over this thing, this feeling of not having control of where my life was going. I think that was the hardest part to wrap my brain around. It was an illusion. We have this plan, right? You have this plan mapped out of how your life's going to unfold and you're going to coach Little League and you're going to talk to your son about girls.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
And we take that for granted as parents. When that is taken from you, when all of a sudden you are not in control, when all of a sudden you have to confront the fact that God may have a different plan for you. it wrecked me. It really did.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
The reason I do cover that hard in my training is because I need these officers and the first responders to know that you're not just dealing with the individual with the diagnosis. You're dealing with an entire family and people surrounding him, all of whom are just trying to get by and wrap their brains around this and do the best they can, which causes stress, anxiety, and trauma.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
So you walk into this house, you are walking into an environment that is, it's like a tinderbox of stress and trauma. And the reality is, if we're meeting these people, if we're being introduced to these people, usually something bad happened, right? Something traumatic happened if me as a police officer am meeting your family, unless you're at some event and it's a community outreach event.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
If an EMT is coming into your home, something happened, right? Which is stress and trauma inducing. So I need them right off the bat to understand that you're walking into a highly infused environment. And these people, the family and the individual, it may come across that they're being belligerent. They may be very short with you. They may be yelling at you.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
If you would, tell us a little bit about what you do. I'm a retired police officer. I retired about four years ago from a police department here in New Jersey. Spent 22 out of my 25 years of my career in canine. In 2007, my son was diagnosed with autism. He's only turned 21 in June. And when that day happened, I had already been a cop for a long time.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
It's not hatred or anti-police that's talking. It's stress. It's anxiety. It's fear. And you have to embrace that and understand that's part of the math when you enter these situations.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
Yeah.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
Yeah, you're right. And it's funny, the worst possible day, the worst day of the year to be a police officer is, well, there's two. There's Christmas Eve and Thanksgiving. It's because that's when all families get together. That's when families get together and old arguments and old grievances pop up. It's terrible. It's because of the domestic situation. And it's a really great question.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
One of the examples I give is... You're a police officer, you're patrolling a zone in your city, and you get dispatched to, let's say, the parking lot of Walmart. The way this happens is really interesting, where the mom who has a child who's on the spectrum, the child is having whatever, a sensory meltdown, whatever it is, and she's struggling to get him in the car. It's nobody's fault.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Jerry Turning: From Officer to Advocate: One Dad's Mission to Bridge the Gap
But what happens is a well-meaning bystander, let's say a nice elderly woman's in the parking lot and she sees something like this mom struggling with her son and calls 911, trying to be a good public servant. When she calls 911, it comes to that 911 center a certain way. Usually it's this man is assaulting or fighting with a woman. something like that.