Jason Wilson
Appearances
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I would say 46, maybe.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Absolutely. Definitely. I call that a masculine male. You were a masculine male. That's all I was. Everything was centered around being masculine, being strong, bold. What's limited with only being a masculine male? Well, I used my mother caring for her as an example when she developed dementia. I couldn't fully meet that moment in her life by only being a protector and provider.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Those two roles I had mastered. Whenever the pharmaceutical companies were trying to fleece her out of more money, I was able to protect her. When her Social Security check couldn't meet the difference that we owe the doctors and for the prescription, I was able to provide.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
But what happens when she asks me a question 10 times and I have to answer it the 11th time without her feeling any frustration? What happens when she's crying and she's confused and I have to meet that moment with compassion and love? What happens when her fingernails need filing or clipped and I have to meet that moment? Only being a protector and a provider was too limiting for me.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I couldn't be all that she needed. And so when that time happened in her life, I chose to meet that moment instead of run from it. And often men say, I want to be a comprehensive man. What do I need to do? I tell them always to run to the moments where you fear feeling the emotions that make you feel weak. And so that's what transformed me. And I said, this is living. This is power.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
That's how I'm able to reach so many boys and men. That's why I'm contacted by even UFC fighters. These men beat pretty much everyone that you can think of in the average setting that's not trained in MMA. But yet they're starting to see like, wait a minute, I can't live from this rage that I feel, this childhood trauma that keeps time traveling to the present and ruins my life. So here it is.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
These men, the greatest warriors, are they weak now because they want to be comprehensive, because they want to be human, authentically human? No. They're fighting now for their right to experience more of life than just providing and protecting.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I saw it destroying my marriage. Really? I lacked patience. I didn't even understand emotions as far as what a woman is feeling. So, again, if you're... I mean, my brothers were drug dealers, you know? And I grew up in an area where... I'm in the middle of gangs from each mile road in Detroit.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
So I didn't know how to express or really feel emotions outside of being tough and strong or appearing to be what we would call a thug, which I've made an acronym for, which is a traumatized human unable to grieve. I said, this isn't living. And when me and Nicole, we were arguing our last time before we decided to get a separation in 2015. So look at the time span there.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I said, I need to really dig deep into what's causing me to be this man. What's causing me not to embrace all of the human attributes that I've been given by the Most High. And it was my childhood trauma. It was my father wound. It was the losses that I've experienced that had shaped my mind into believing another loss is coming. you weren't even good enough for your father to affirm you.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
But upon deeper reflection, I realized that I didn't have a bad father. I just had a father who had been wounded and didn't go through his process. He loved me. But again, he came from an era where the masculine male was the gold standard. And so until I saw the truth there, before he died, we were able to reconcile, which was beautiful.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And he was called by God to be a pastor, but ran from it because he didn't want to be perceived as a pimp. Because in his era, the pastors, the pimps transitioned into being a pastor. Yeah. And he told me the story. I couldn't believe it. He says... You're tax-exempt still. So they were just a hunk. They were a pimp, but they were getting more out of it. Still drove a nice car. Wow.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And all you had to do was to pander to the women's emotions. Oh, my gosh. So my father was a barber, very popular in Detroit, so he cut a lot of the pimps' hair back then. Wow. And a lot of them would tell him, big O, man, nothing like being a pastor. It's almost just like being a pimp. But he allowed that to stop his calling. He could have changed it.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
But because he was just a masculine male, my father was a provider. He would work 12, 13-hour days, come home, wore out. At the end of his life, he couldn't walk. He had Parkinson's disease. My mother worried to death. He worked to death. So those are two extremes that I learned from. And I said, you know, I'm not going to be either.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I learned from my dad to make sure I take a rest, take rest in between work. If you don't take a break, I often say you eventually break. And with my mom, the brain wasn't meant to hold the trauma she experienced. My grandfather was lynched. Her first marriage was abusive. Then my brother gets murdered. So all of this she couldn't let go.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And what was amazing, brother, she didn't find peace, my mom, until she started to forget. Forget. Yeah, because of dementia, she couldn't remember all of the trauma.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
That's why the scriptures say, cast your cares upon God. We tend to hold them and grasp and hold and control it. And that's what wears us down, especially as men. We can't rest. We can't let go of the disappointments of the day. We're still trying to work when we should be resting. That's what tomorrow is for. Table those things, find rest, and then get up and hit it hard again.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
But again, if your whole identity isn't working and performing, we can't sleep. Yeah. And I guess that's one of the greatest blessings of me knowing so many influential individuals. I get to see the side that people don't see. Yeah, of course. And I said, well, money isn't the answer. Being a celebrity isn't the answer. Being a professional athlete or fighter isn't the answer.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
But being authentic in who you are. is the answer. For me, when I found my purpose in Christ, when I found my purpose in following the Most High, that really solidified me, I would say, in being a comprehensive man. Because again, you could be multifaceted, but without a purpose, you're just a busy person.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
No. When I get to meet them behind the closed doors. You see the pain. I see the pain. The facade comes off. They willingly take it off because they're tired of wearing it. The Superman cape that's been strangling them. Take it off. No. The millionaires. No. Because the money, see, the thing about being a millionaire, what I've learned is You can do everything.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Man, if I could go to Spain, this would give me a break. You do it, now you still don't find peace. Yeah, you still have to live with you in Spain. The average guy can always have that dream or that vision. Like, you know, one day when I can do this or get this house or get this firm, that's when everything will be together. The millionaire has done everything and still is unhappy.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Exactly. And so I say, no matter where you go, there you will be. You can't escape yourself. And so I never was one to, I guess, adhere to escapism. Always tried to find my peace in where I'm at. Did you have a lot of escapism, though, before the last 10 years? Of course, I was as men were conditioned that way.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
We, you know, work hard, become a millionaire, travel by your way, by your piece, get the right people around you, even with the right people around you. If you hadn't did the work inside. You won't have it. And so for me, it took for me to surrender my life to Yeshua or Jesus to really find that peace, to purge all of this pain that was in my heart. Because I didn't grow up in a church.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I didn't want to walk this path. You didn't grow up in a church at all? My mother, what I mean by grow up, meaning it wasn't. I was a part of the culture. Me and my mother made me go. But as soon as I got to the age where she could trust me at home alone, I stopped going. And so, but when I truly accepted him in my life, The process still was a journey.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
It's not like, no, it's not magic, like instant, it's gone. It comes with work. It is written that we should consider, you know, when we're testing trials, it's joy. We should be joyful when that happens because it develops our faith and perseverance.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Yes. And then, of course, we're going to lose loved ones, but we don't grieve like the world. So those are the type of things that were instilled in me through this transformation I had because I know I get to see my mother and father again. My hope is different from those that are in this world. And then my identity is not what I do. It's in him.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
So whatever stops, I as we talked earlier, the transition is always difficult. But because my identity isn't in it, I can I can transition, you know, and but a lot of guys can't transition at all. Like I know I share with you before here what he's calling me to do. It may take some time, right?
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
That's how he did it for four years? Yeah. But our time compared to his time is zero. But when you're stuck in your identities and what you do like athletes, when you retire, you don't know what you're gonna do with yourself.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
For me, first, the foundation, of course, is the most high in Christ for me. So what does that look like? My identity? Oh, well. What does that mean? My identity is. In him, meaning I embody all who he is. So I manifest his attributes for to me in my book. At the end, I share he was the ultimate comprehensive man. He was the fighter. He was the provider. He was the leader. He was the lover.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
He was the nurturer. He was the gentleman. He was the father, all right, as incarnate, as God, he is one. He was the son. And so those attributes of the competence of man, I exude because of who he is in me. So when I say I am, he is in me and I am, he's the reason why I exist and why I move. I exude his attributes. And that's what I mean by my identity being wrapped up in him.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Second, I would say my family, but even that can be shaken. If I was to commit adultery on my wife, she may leave, I don't know. If I was physically abusive to her, my children's love would change. So all of my hope lies in him. That's the only constant that I have.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I would say... Hmm. Reminds me of Moses. We were talking about him earlier. When the Mosiah called him to go to Pharaoh to free his people, Moses complained about not speaking with the eloquent tongue, making a lot of excuses. And then God told him to have his brother speak for him, which I believe was a big mistake because Moses didn't work through all of his insecurities.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And at the end, those insecurities caused him to hit the rocks and he couldn't enter the promised land. So I share that to say because I know it's a blessing knowing that everything you do is wrapped up in him. At the same time, finding your confidence solely in him can be a challenge at times. A lot of things that he has me doing, I know it's not me.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I know the men that stop me at the airport or when I go speed come up to me here. I mean, real men crying, breaking down. That's not me. I'm just a man. And so to truly just say, hey, I'm going to trust you regardless and just move. Sometimes that can be a challenge when you're walking towards the Red Sea and it hasn't been parted yet.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
But he's telling you to go that way and then tell you he wasn't going to split it yet. Just go that way. Right. That can be challenging at times. And that's why it's important to... Not have your identity wrapped up in things, money, your accomplishments, not even your family. As much as I love mine, I know love on the human plane is conditional. It's based on what we can do.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
It's just human nature. The closest you'll get to unconditional love is from a good mother on this earth. Yeah. Or dog. Or dog. And, you know, when you realize that, you're like, hey, you know, for me, it was I studied many religions and I chose that path. And I have no regrets. If I lose everything and still have him, I still have everything.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I would say the gentleman in regards to chivalry. I had to study that because today you say chivalry is dead, right? And it's almost like chivalry is perceived as pandering to women. But when I studied it, it was the code of honor amongst medieval knights. Why did we relinquish that? So for me growing up again, the misleading mantras, I was the same bros before H-O-E-S.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
So I was programmed never to really trust a woman. Don't be affectionate with a woman in public. You'll be looked at as being weak. To this day, I have to fight to hold my wife's hand in public. Really? Yeah, man. You have to fight to force yourself to do it? It's an internal struggle. My father, I remember I told him I was getting married. He told me, why? Why would you do that?
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
All the men in my life never were comprehensive men.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And then, you know, outside of being a fighter and provider, the gentleman, what is that? You know, we were smooth, but it was always what we called a game to get something. Yeah. So we had to have game. So I didn't like playing games, you know. And so that's why the commitment level wasn't there. And so, again, just really living freely from that romantic side that's in me.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And that's a process I'm going through now, resolving the hurt, you know, experience the relationships. And that's one of the men's biggest struggles with getting married is because when you marry someone, she's going to see she's not going to just see Batman. She's going to see Bruce Wayne now.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
can you deal with that oh are you okay with her seeing that you're depressed some mornings that yeah you two are anxious at times oh yeah you two get scared at times and so that's the the challenging part for men and for me it's just moving past the lies that i've been uh I guess, programmed to believe by the men in my family that being romantic publicly was a sign of weakness.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And so that's one of the attributes that I struggle with exuding.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Again, it's the fear of, I used to say vulnerable, being vulnerable. But I believe that's the wrong word because that means you're open to harm or being killed. Like if a gunman was to come in here now, the news report would say he killed the vulnerable citizens. What we're trying to encourage men to do is be emotionally open or transparent about
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And so for me to be transparent and open was actually a gateway to my freedom, man. And my wife would tell you to this day to have a man who can, she can see that is scared, but can move through that fear. Or a man who says, hey, I don't know about this decision, but I'm going to trust God that this is the right way to go.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I'm going to trust the data we have that this is the right decision financially. And we're going to move. For her to see that, whoa, OK, he doesn't know it all, but yet he still walks confidently in that decision. He still has a little fear, but he doesn't succumb to it. Now you can be more authentic. And that's really what men want. They're dying to just be treated as humans.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Can I just share my fear without you condemning me as being weak?
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
From the men that I've worked with, the greatest fear is their inadequacy. the imposter syndrome, that I'm really not all she thinks I am. Real, she's going to see this one side. What happened during COVID? The divorce rates went through the roof. Because you couldn't be at work for eight hours. There was no time apart.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
For me, I was sad when COVID was over because I enjoy being with my wife and my son all day, every day. I didn't have to leave them because by that time I had become a comprehensive man. You wanted to express it all. Yeah, yeah. It was nothing to hide. But if you're with the suits, the bra, you know, the bravado, all this other stuff, that's your aura all day. No one ever sees a sign of weakness.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
There is no, you're never concerned. You're stoic 24-7. Then you get married and now she can see. Now she, oh, wait, why are you depressed? I thought we're living our best life. I thought nothing bothers you. What happened? Mm-hmm. So no one wants to be a fraud. But how can you be a fraud when you're authentic? There's nothing to hide anymore.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Do you think most men are authentic before they get married? I don't think most of us are authentic at all right now. Because especially in the era of social media, everything is performance. Highlight reels. They don't see the other side of what goes on inside of a man's mind, his heart, his fears.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
We're doing a better job now, especially thankful to men like you who are showing the real side of what men are going through. I don't think we're there yet. I know with more conversations like this, we're getting there. But no, we're not living authentic. I mean, even look at the videos, the movies, Hollywood, even in hip hop, everything is a facade.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Well, you couldn't just say hip hop, you know, you could say mass media and not all of hip hop, you know, but definitely mass media is playing a major role in how people see themselves in the mirror. Definitely, especially social media. Again, I've had couples where wives had to just...
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
get off social media because they would be depressed looking at other couples and they have no idea that that couple was struggling you see and so I couldn't identify you know wouldn't say it's totally hip hop but I mean you can say the same for rock pop You know, the drug abuse in those two genres alone.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And so but it's not all rock. It's not all pop. It's not all hip hop. But, yeah, no, definitely. I wouldn't say that. But mass media has played a major role, especially in the way our children think.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
to reflect on what you've read in the book. So we're unpacking a lot that as men we've been conditioned to suppress. So now at the end of the chapter, I want you to start looking at yourself, the wounds, the things about yourself you didn't like, and then we start affirming ourselves with the statements that I write in the book.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And so a lot of times, man, I was talking with a friend of mine actually in Detroit. When he went through the first chapter, he was like, this is hard for me. I didn't realize it was so hard for me to look in the mirror because a lot of us as men, we really don't love ourselves. Look in your eyes. Not how you look, the suit that he wears. I actually share that in the first chapter.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Like, that's not what we're looking at. Look intently in your eyes for 60 seconds. and then say these statements, you know? And so during that process for a man to stay there for one, he becomes emotional. Even when we have fathers and sons, when they're having a conflict in their relationship, I have them sit in front of each other and without saying a word, communicate through their eyes only.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Within a matter of seconds, the father starts crying. Yeah. Because now he can convey with his heart what his words won't allow him to say.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And then lean into it. That's really good, man. It works when I work with the young boys in the Cave of Adullam. I'll say, look at me here. I'm here. I'm talking because they want to break contact. Of course. I know. Stare here. Look at me so you can not only hear my words, but see the sincerity in my eyes that I love you. It's just a little tough right now, but we're going to work through this.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Yeah. it breaks them down, man. And even, especially with men and, uh, Nicole and I, my wife, we were laying in bed and she said, Hey, I need to connect with you. And what that means is that we stare into each other's eyes at least for like three minutes.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
That's a really good question. Um, I'd be transparent with you. With men, it's not an issue because I've been doing it for 20 years, working with boys and men. Well, my wife, she'll often say, why are you looking off? Look at me in my eyes because I have the exercise in there. And I tell men, you may need to break contact, eye contact for a moment because it can get intense. Of course.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
But reset back. And the reason it is is because just some unresolved hurt years ago. Same thing with her. We're processing and still growing. And then to move past that and say, no, I'm right here. Or I know I may tear up because of how much I love her, and so I'll break off. I don't want to dive deep right now. And so to give her all of my heart... And that's deep for a man.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Like, I'm locking into you like this and I'm staying there. And now, because you were smiling at first, then eventually the smile goes and you're really into deep communication. And then now the heart's open.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Look up. And she says, why do you do that? And I'm like. I don't know. It's still uncomfortable. I'm still unlearning what I've been living from for so many years. And that's why I tell men, stop thinking it's a master level in manhood. It's not. You have to keep evolving. And so I've gotten better.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
You know, it's interesting because Nicole is very understanding. We wouldn't have been married 26 years if she hadn't accepted some of my ways. Of course. I'm an introvert who extroverts well. Okay, that's me. wholeheartedly, like concerts, any of that, I'd rather be doing nothing at home. Yeah, just relax. So she does a great job at that.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
It's me just, again, what you asked about the attribute of the comprehensive manner or the characteristic that I have the most trouble exuding is that gentleman characteristic and really just allowing that part of my heart to open more to her. And that's something that's my next something else I will have victory over. So, yeah, that's great. Definitely.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I love being transparent because I don't want men to think like, well, he's arrived. Like, no, my brother is constant, evolving, constant. It's a journey. My wife and I call marriage a beautiful struggle. And because it is in as far as like a weight training or any type of conditioning to get your body where you want it to go. It's the same way with your mind as well and your heart.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Do the hard work. You know, it's hard work, but it's worth it. And I have a beautiful relationship with my wife where now arguments are, I don't want to say a thing of the past because anything could happen in the moment, but where we hold on to it longer than the day, those days are over.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Oh, my God. Her father was like, look, why don't you two just break up? Like that was like, please break up. Fighting all the time. Always arguing, always arguing. Just I mean, why do I draw a line? She would step over it and vice versa.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Well, that's not true because we used to fight and argue a lot, and now we don't. What helps us in communication, I'll use our relationship for an example, is if there's some discord or, you know, just some dissension between Nicole and I, and just say an argument ensues, just, you know, our voices raised. I don't look at Nicole, the woman who was in front of me.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I look at the young girl because I know my wife. I know the years when she didn't feel good enough and the wounds and the fear of losing everything. I look at that little girl. So oftentimes I tell my friends, wives as well, that's not the 50-year-old man that's talking. That's the 8-year-old when his father wasn't there. That's the 8-year-old when his mother was overprotective. Mm-hmm.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And so that's what helps me lock my heart into Nicole in those moments. I said, oh, I know why she's responding this way. She feels that she's about to lose something, Mickey. Or if I could, for so long, brother and I were married early on, I was very critical of Nicole. And you had a tone or an energy. No, just everything negative. Nothing she could do right. Really? Seriously, man.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And I had to go a period in our marriage without saying anything. I'm just going to eat this one. I saw what I was doing to my wife. It was so bad. In one of our psychotherapy sessions with our marriage counselors, I allowed her the freedom to write down everything that I did to her over the years on index cards.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Six hours. How? Two days. Oh, my gosh. Probably hundreds of index. For her to just say, when you said this, this is what it did to me. Why did you say it? Oh, man, that's a lot of hurt. but it was needed. I didn't mean this. This is why I said it. And this is what happened. This is where it came from. Next index card, next index card. So the therapist said, well, do you want to turn Jason?
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
The pride in me was like, yeah, I want to make sure she know it's not just her. You know what I mean? Just me. You did this to me. And the therapist said, like, I could have my stack as well. I chose not to do that. Is that suppressing your feelings, though? No, because I already expressed them, meaning I did the internal work. I let her know. And I let my therapist know.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
My prayer life for God, everything, I was able to release it. But she couldn't let those things go. So that was more important to me. Anything that I feel that I'm holding on to, I make sure first and foremost that I speak it at the right moment. That's what's crucial. Timing is everything as far as in that relationship. And so, no, I couldn't.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Repressing it, brother, made me a very unstable man mentally. But at that moment in our marriage, my wife needed the opportunity to gracefully release the things that she had been hoarding in her heart that was affecting her love for me. And it set her free.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Absolutely. And for me to finally say, well, I said this, first and foremost, I was immature. I should have never first owned it. This was wrong. It was immature. Secondly, this is what I was trying to say. Mm-hmm. And I'm sorry. Oh, oh, oh, that's the first thing you have to acknowledge. First, I heard you. Then I'm sorry. And this is what I meant. Or there is no justification.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I was wrong and I'm sorry. And do you forgive me? And she may not forgive you right away.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
That's true. But in some cases, but Nicole, when it was conveyed. Yeah, of course. She saw, you know, I mean, of course. Yeah.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Well, how about, what about the men who don't like who they see in the mirror? The men who the world say aren't attractive.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Exactly.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
That's cool.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
It's a process again. So I'm just taking you through the journey of the characteristics. That's why I close with now is time for you to take the steps to go on, go beyond this point.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And so even in that one chapter, even about being in social settings, because I also teach dining etiquette in that chapter, the gentleman, because so many men do not know how to dine in public settings and are intimidated by that. And so I teach men, this is short course, what I teach the boys in the cave of Adelam, how to dine at a table, how to enter and exit a table.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And so those things are very crucial, especially if you're dating someone or a job interviewer. trying to make a great impression for an investor. I've had kids who are in college now who've gotten scholarships off of the way they can hold their fork and knife. Why, seriously.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I've gotten text messages, Mr. Wilson, you were right, I got a $2,000 scholarship or a $15,000 scholarship because of the way I conducted myself at the table. So how many men like myself, I created that dining etiquette training because I was embarrassed by my father. We went out to eat one day. I had no idea. I was a little eighth grader, you know. Actually, I was in eighth grade.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I love my favorite restaurant at the time was Red Lobster. So I was eager to eat shrimp and I'm eating with my hands. Didn't have the napkin in my lap. My father didn't teach me. So when he dropped me off at home because my parents were divorced, I thought everything was cool. But maybe 10 minutes later, I hear my mother arguing with him. I asked her what happened.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
She said, he was mad at me for not teaching you how to dine at a restaurant. And that scarred me. Wow. Because he didn't tell me that. And so I vowed, I said, you know what, I'm going to make sure that no boy has to go through what I went through. And then come to find out when I talked to their fathers about it, because they watched the process as well. I said, man, I didn't know that.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
That's why I'm nervous when I'm in a business setting, because I don't know how to dine at a fine dining restaurant. And so, again, I often say inside of every man is a broken boy who needs to be healed. And so that's one thing I do through working with young boys, doing that process. Okay, good. I'm able to stop intergenerational trauma through you, but what about the dad? Right.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
You know, and so I help him heal the broken boy inside. So now I know this healing can continue in their family.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Yeah.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Which ones?
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I don't think so. I think the providing and protecting definitely has... For men. For men, definitely. But the other attributes they haven't touched yet because... After COVID, man, a lot of young men are lazy, are stuck in the basement, are apathetic towards life. You know, no outlook like, you know, so many of us complain about young boys or young men not being men.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
But how many of us are actually teaching them how to be one? You are. So there. Yeah. But we need to be more of me. And so more of these young boys feel condemned more than, I guess, encouraged to change. And so that's why they're stuck in the basement. That's why you don't see the work ethic you used to.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
You have to have those attributes. I mean, like I said, that's the first gear in manhood, protecting and providing. You know, even the scripture says a man who doesn't provide for his own is worse than an unbeliever. Really? Yeah. So you have to provide for your family. You want to be a fighter. You want to be assertive. Not necessarily being aggressive.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
You want to have calculated actions in everything. You know, the fighter in that chapter, I talk about the good side and the bad side. You know, a lot of men, we lose control, lose our freedom, lose our lives.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
But the fighter in this book, what I'm teaching you is how to be strategic in every move, how to consider this decision and then look at the outcome of that decision before you make that move. For instance, the Oscars with I talk about Brother Will Smith and Chris Rock, the situation that happened there. He could have, you know, once he stood up, he lost it.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
But in that moment, why he's in that seat. if he could have processed in real time, like I want to wreck my man right now because he's offending my wife. But if I get up right now, this is going to cost me more than it's worth. Let me deal with him backstage and talk to him one-on-one. But as soon as he got up out that chair, the internal battle was over. He lost.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And then to Chris rocks, I guess, uh, Not defense per se, but to give him a lot of credit, his self-control and restraint is something that I admired in that moment. And he was talked about bad after that, like he should have hit him. He should have did this and did that. When you do what I do in my community, that retaliation can also cost you your life.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
So when I saw Chris Rock, when he took the slap, which is interesting, being a man of the most high, I think about what Yeshua, Jesus said, you know, whoever slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other. What people don't understand, he wasn't saying be a coward or don't defend yourself.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
If I'm sitting across from you like we are now in the time of Jesus and I was to slap you, that's why he said right cheek. For me to slap you on your right cheek, I would have to slap you either with my left hand, right, or the backside of my right hand.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
What he was saying wasn't that they would slap you with your left hand because it was used for unclean things, especially during that time it was a right-handed society. He was saying if someone insults you, turn to the other. It was actually out of rebellion, like, here, take it. He wasn't talking about self-defense.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
So what Will Smith did when he slapped him, well, he actually slapped him this way.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
It was very disrespectful. Chris Rock took it, said, you know what, I'm going to win this in the end. A lot of people say he could have been scared. No one knows. But for me, who work with black boys in Detroit, it was important for me to see both sides.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Because even to Wills, not defense, but understanding his childhood trauma, if you read his book, I believe even in that moment, he may have been thinking he was protecting his mother. Because, you know, his father abused his mother and he said even all of his accomplishments was like a silent apology to his mother for never being able to stand up and defend her. Wow.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
See, a lot of people don't know that. Wow. CPSD, CPTSD, PTSD, yes, is real. So in that moment, that childhood trauma manifested in that moment. I've operated from it before. I don't put it past will. His actions were still inexcusable, but I understand. And so I see the contrast in both. I teach from both. I hope one day those two men can reconcile even after that.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
But even in that, it's like he could have lost almost everything in that moment. How many men you know right now, intelligent, who are in prison? Because intelligent who are in prison are in prison because they didn't have rule over their emotions in the moment. Yeah. And lost it. Yeah. And that's what happened to Will and to Chris Rocks, understanding his situation.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Like, what about the trauma he experienced? That was in front of the entire world. Yeah. And, you know, it bothered me to see so many people talk about him. He should have done. He could have did. That was me. But it wasn't you. It was him. Do you even respect the fact that he chose not to respond in that way? Everyone wants to be tough or gangster. I grew up around that.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
The man I knew, matter of fact, one of the most dangerous men in the city of Highland Park. Young kid was selling drugs on the street. Slapped his hat off. Did he retaliate in the moment? No. I said, I understand, young man, it's okay, and walked off. My brother would do the same because he knew if he did something to you then, he would get caught. I'm not responding right now. That's a reaction.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And if it's really real and I feel this way tomorrow or next year, I need to do something about it. Yeah, there were some confluences. So I take my hat off to Chris in that moment. It took a lot not to just respond.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I talk about that as well.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Of course. But for you to say. He didn't react. How about let's make it practical for the average man. Your boss says something to you that pisses you off. Yeah. Do you slap him? Do you curse him out? You see the hypocrisy in this? The comedians who clowned him. You signed to Netflix, and the head of Netflix says something to offend you.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Nine times out of ten, you probably won't say nothing to him. Right. What's the difference? Chris Rock chose the best response for him in that moment. It's no different from a man boss irritating you. You're not going to cuss him out because you need that money to provide for your family. Sure.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And so that's the thing about understanding how to be a comprehensive fighter. Even fighting spiritually, brother, I never shared when we were in New York for Tribeca for the documentary with Lawrence Fishburne. I don't think I even shared this with him. My man is that the night before, we sleep, my wife and I sleep before the premiere. My phone rings. I hear it vibrating on the nightstand.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I look, it's my son. Him and my daughter are staying two floors below. I pick up the phone, hey, what's going on, man? Dad, someone's banging on our door. A man was drunk, banging on my son and daughter's door. I run down, didn't get my shoes on, ran out. My wife immediately dropped her knees and started praying. Because I'm trained to really hurt you.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I run down, and in the process, I'm processing in real time. Okay, if I see this guy here, what do I need to do? How should I respond? A lot's going through my head. When I get to the floor, I see the guy. Thankfully, the security is there, and he passes out. He was drunk. His hotel room was at the same corner of the hotel, just a floor above, I believe. Trying to get in, yeah. What if...
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I had gotten there before security. But I know from another situation that to be able to process in real time, to see, because I still was very angry, Louis. I still wanted to hurt him, of course. But I had to let all of that go in that moment. Many men still would have confronted him and probably punched or slapped him. Yeah. Do you see how things were set up spiritually?
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Because what if I would have gotten an altercation with him the night before the Red Copper premiere?
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Of course, my family. Definitely. Protecting them, which I'm supposed to do as a man. And I go to jail for my Lord, of course. Whatever that looks like. Many were in prison for their faith. Those two, definitely. And even the boys I serve, you know, I'm very protective. I love them like they're my own son, my children.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Anyone comes in, if they come to our building trying to harm them, I have to protect them.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
If you're trying to harm my family, I have no choice but to take you off the earth. And that's serious. If you're touching my wife, I have no choice but to eliminate you, eliminate the threat immediately, and I would deal with the rest later. I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by six. But if you have the audacity to come to my loved ones like that, I will take care of you.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I will respond accordingly. No emotion involved. I will do what I have to do. And that's just it. My daughter, my wife, I mean, the guy was following her. I shared in this book, in the fighter chapter. This is where I failed. This is perfect. Guy was following her, man. I hear my wife on the phone. She calls me, Jason, a man's following me. What do you do? Martha, someone's following her.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
You immediately get in your car and go to where she is. I did that. Race there, two guns in my hoodie. You had two guns. I could legally carry, yes. I was tactically trained. You had two of them. You were ready for whatever. I was livid. In Detroit?
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Well, I believe it starts when we're young. The misleading mantras is what I call them. Big boys don't cry or no pain, no gain. Like that's a universal principle. And we see even in sports that if a star player gets hurt, you don't push him through that pain. You take him out the game and give him time to heal.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
She walks out. Here he comes.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
You know, I get out, walk to her. I look at him. He's sipping coffee. And I walks her to the car. I get in the car. She's safe and secure, bro. All you got to do is leave. You OK? She's like, yes, I'm fine. I said, all right. So I'm sitting there, and I'm looking at him, and I'm like, he doesn't know how serious this is. Oh, man. I get back out the truck.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Again, I love being transparent so they can see. Of course. Yeah, yeah. No one's superhuman. No, of course. I walk up to him. I said, hey, why would you follow my wife? Oh, Jesus.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
He says, I wasn't following your wife. I get nose to nose with him. I was about to headbutt him. And through my teeth, I said, so you calling my wife a liar, my man?
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And I just, I'm thankful, because what if he would have been the type of guy to say, man, get up off me.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
If he said one thing at you, you're... Just to see how I failed in that moment. But the hyper-masculine male would have said, no, you did what you're supposed to do. You know, what I was supposed to do was make sure my wife made it back safely. And then get out. Yeah. Diffuse the situation. And leave. She's safe. Yeah. See, that's what the comprehensive fighter does.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
He keeps himself in an advantageous position.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
What I love about jiu-jitsu is you don't have to meet force with force all the time. See, that's what I did. I had won the battle. I took it away. I had her safe. I should have pulled up. And then you reengaged in the battle. That's where I fell. And that could have changed my entire life. That would have ruined your life. Absolutely. And so that's what I teach men.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
It's like, keep yourself in advantageous position. Again, if he would say he had a knife coming at her, it's justifiable. It's justifiable. But he's just sipping coffee. What did he say he was doing? He just said he wasn't following her. But I didn't know he was lying. My wife isn't lying. But I was just enraged at the fact that possibly someone could harm my beloved wife, of course. And I can't.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I don't play those games, you know. And so... It was a mistake, and I hope men, when they read that, like, wow. And you'll see, we've all been in those situations. Of course, I've been in those situations.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Of course.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Absolutely. And so that's why I started with the fighter chapter, because I know men could identify with that. But the key is to teach them how to fight the right way. Okay, let me ask you about this then. Yes.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
But unfortunately, we believe that a principle that pretty much came through weightlifting, developing the muscle is something that we apply to all areas in our lives. And that's why I believe we don't really live full lives. And so to shake all of those mantras and then. Being admonished for having any other emotions besides anger or being bold or strong.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
It won't even make it, not just for him. As a man, do you know how heartrending it is when you can't pay the bills, when you can't provide? Let's move protection. I mean, I hope most men will be able to do whatever they can to protect a woman. You may not be skilled, which also tell me you should learn a martial art that's tested for, you know, street situations, real life situations.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
But just move protection. Provider. Providing. You won't feel good about yourself. No man wants to see his children struggle. I had mentors.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
He still needs to be in his position in that home. So what I mean by that is, it was at one point in our marriage when Nicole made significantly more than I did. And I still was the provider and the leader. Feel deeper than money.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
how how can you how can you provide if you're i'm trying to give you i'm trying to see if i want to say this and i'm gonna say it so coming up you know being young uh all the drug dealers got the best looking women uh-huh they had the money but they missed providing everything else that guys like myself was able to move in on where their money would take care of
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Literally where their girl's money would take care of me. Really? So what is provision to a woman? Is it just money? No. It's everything. All those characteristics are provided. Again, my wife made significantly more money than me. But because I could provide in all the other areas and now I make more than her, of course. we were able to make it.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
But if a man can't provide financially, but he... You know, I agree. No, that's what I'm saying. What I mean is a man would not feel good about himself as the man, as the father, as the husband, if you're not contributing the finance, any finances.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I know a couple like that right now, and it works really well. They were losing money the other way as a man just wanting to be the provider.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
See, what does a woman really want? I'm just saying just from my experience, my wife even shared in another interview, it wasn't about that. She was trained differently by her parents and what she saw. They both worked hard. You know, most, I mean, successful marriages, you have to have two jobs now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Money is far from what will satisfy a woman. It's stability.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
If you showed an ounce of sensitivity growing up young, you were called a punk or soft. And so those, I believe, programmed all of us to say, OK, I don't like the way I feel when I hear that. I remember when my father admonished me for caring too much. So you know what? I'm going to shut that part of my heart off.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And what does that look like? So for me, when I didn't make as much money, I would have to do odd-in jobs. I would clean people's homes to bring in extra money. OK. And so that's still not enough. I get what you're saying is like you don't want to get into a relationship and you can't provide. Like to me, that's short sighted. It's irresponsible.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
When I mentor young men like, you know, if you want to get married, how much are you making right now? But don't let what you don't have stop what you can get. And that's what many of us as men fail. You have a woman who's ready and you may not make what you want to make right now. She may make more than you. But I didn't care because that money went to the same bank account.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Put the ego aside and start building your kingdom. I am a living testimony that it works. But you have to put that aside. And any mature woman will tell you it's more than money that's going to make that marriage. And so.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
No, because, I mean, that's like she's a single mother almost. You know, a woman needs to feel protected. She needs shelter. She needs a covering. You know, as a man of God, you know, Christ is my head. I'm the head of my wife. So it has to have some order for a woman. A woman wants stability. She wants to feel that things will be okay.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
But if you're not stable, especially emotionally, again, you can't, you won't be able to make money if you're emotionally unstable. And so, no, to your point, you need to know how to provide and protect, even if you're not making the money that you want to bring to the table, but just doing something. I tell men who are unemployed, still get up like you have a job.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Get dressed and leave the house until you get a job. Never become comfortable sitting still at home.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I believe it's, again, of going to the cause and effect psychology, what's causing them to be disconnected with being that provider, going out, having that work ethic. Every man that I talk to that I have a friend of mine who gets laid off often, not laid off, get fired from jobs. He's really good. But until we could help him feel like, what's causing you to lose so many jobs?
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
To dig and go deep to, wait a minute, it was my fear of failure due to what happened as a child here. A lot of men are lazy not because they don't have the work ethic per se, but because they have lost the desire to live. Why have they lost the desire? A lot of times it's due to childhood trauma or situations or circumstances present losses that they haven't been able to let go of.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And that's why so many of us can't meet the moment, especially in relationships, because we've allowed the world to define us as men. And then even the one word or adjective masculinity is not a comprehensive definition of what it means to be a man. It's just attributes such as boldness, strength and aggression. But what about nurturing, kindness, long suffering, patience?
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And I mean, I know you see it, guys. Now you're going off to drinking and other vices now just to find some peace or some freedom. So it's not, I don't think it's laziness in all cases. Laziness does exist. But when you see a man just dejected and discontented with life, it's much deeper than him just being lazy. And every time I work with a man to help him get to his cause and effect,
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Starts finding reasons to live again. You know, I'm off to say you're not tired of living. You're tired of not living. So finding out that that piece right there. What's what am what am I? Why am I not living? What's happening here? And when a man finds that answer, he starts walking out of, you know, what I call emotional incarceration and starts to live.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And there'll be setbacks, but as long as he keeps walking out, he'll be fine. But I don't believe it's just laziness.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Oh, yeah, man. It's... I can't tell you how many times when I share this information with men at conferences and they'll say, well, what happens if your girl, you know, disrespects you and calls you weak or soft? And I tell them, you've been blessed. And the whole audience has started laughing. She's not your girl. She's not. Be thankful. Do not compromise who you really are for anyone.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
But the most unhappiest people I've ever met are people-pleasers. Yeah, it's true. So there's no silence in that. Mm-hmm. So, you know, again, you don't want to be authentic and you an a-hole. You know what I mean? That's not comprehensive. It's not comprehensive. And so, again, you want with my—I talk about the four R's in this book, you know, process—
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I teach men of how to make decisions in the moment and reflect. So the first R is reflect. Second R is release. Third R is reset. Then the fourth R is a byproduct of those three, which is rest. So when you reflect on what's troubling you, what's going on in your life, you think on those things, you get to the next R, which is release.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And you have to be careful there because you don't want to release everything because. And you don't want to release on someone. Yeah, that's true, too. But if you and Martha, if you were impatient with Martha earlier in the day, you don't want to just release that.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
You want to retain that so you can revisit it and maybe apologize and say, hey, you know, I was impatient with you earlier and I want to ask for your forgiveness and I want to reconcile right now. Yeah. Yeah. Next one is the reset. Reset back to your baseline. I call it lamb mode. So many men want to be in lion mode or the alpha mode. Is it lamb mode? Lamb, like a lamb, sheep, you know, lamb.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And so lion and the lamb, that's what we teach in the cave of Adelam to bring up the lion when there's predators coming into your pride. I call that fight or flight, the brain's response to stress or trauma. Handle it then, but don't stay there. See, I stayed there in the gas station when that guy was following my wife. I should have reset to lamb mode because everything was safe.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And so that's what I teach men is like, look, never suppress the lion. Bring him out when needed, but put him back and live from the lamb. Then you can reset and there you will find rest.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Those aren't feminine attributes. Those are human attributes. And so instead of masculinity or femininity, we practice humanity. Like, what do I need to be as a comprehensive human being? And that's where men struggle, because even in movies, like when the last time you really seen conflict resolved between two action heroes without fighting or killing each other?
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Right now he's 16th state of this country is some driving. You know, disproportionately African-Americans are pulled over more than any other ethnicity. And even with unfair cause, no just cause to be pulled over. Statistically, we are less likely to have drugs or firearms. So I'm scared. I'm concerned with that.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
But I trust that God will take care of him the same way he took care of my daughter when she was interning in New York. And I love New York. I just didn't want my daughter just on the subway alone. You know, it's just terrifying. But with him, that's my concern. And I'm thankful for the police officers I do know who are just and kind, all different ethnicities.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And I have faith that my son, and I have to train him. You see, that's the dynamic of being an African-American in this country. Like, when you have a son, you don't have to teach him how to respond when the police pull you over, per se. I literally tell my son to roll all four windows down so he won't feel threatened. Right. Just arm the police officer. As soon as he pulls you over.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Get your hands up on the, yeah, yeah. And have your ID out. Do you know what that does to his adrenaline, his mind? And just one move could cost him his life.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And so it's terrifying as a father, man, just to be real with you. But yet, you know... I have to cast that. I can't live from that. I had a lot of losses, and I don't want to live from that type of mentality. I won't be able to stay in the present. My trauma will keep time traveling and ruining it. I should be excited that my son has a driver's license and can drive. Yeah.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And, you know, and I work with police officers as well at times and to understand the trauma that they've endured. My best friend, I talk about him in this book. He's a retired police officer. PTSD is real.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Getting shot at. Most police officers don't even have to experience that. It's seeing the trauma of a crime scene.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Or a person with a bullet hole talking to you, shot in the head, talking to you, trying to tell you who shot them. That's what my best friend had to endure. He had a bullet in his head and he was able to speak? He's trying to articulate to the officer, my friend, who shot him and he couldn't. Oh my gosh. My friend, it's difficult for him to sleep at night.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
In this book here, I share that he had a moment of just intense anger, frustration, and then his wife actually had cancer. She's deceased now. He said he grabbed his steering wheel so fierce that imprints from his fingernails was in his palm. That's how hard he was grabbing the steering wheel. because of all that he saw as a police officer.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
He tells me all the time. I mean, I remember one time we caught some kids who were breaking in homes in his neighborhood. I pull up, I see the kids breaking in his neighbor's house. I call him, he runs out. By the time he comes out, they're in the car. I didn't know where they were. But his training, we're driving, says that's them. I said, how do you know?
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Because he's constantly in fight or flight. Wow. He was able to, it was the car. Detect how they're moving. The movement of the car. Why is a female driving? There's three guys and he knew all of that. But he's like that all the time. A friend of mine who was an ex-Marine. And it's like, so when I think of my son driving at the same time, I know not all cops are out to get young black boys.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
You know, and then we wonder why road rage is at an all-time high, why there's a lack of patience with men, even in conflict or in business. I want to be the top dog or the classic alpha male, which has been proven a myth. Like there is not a dominant fight for a leader in a wolf pack. The leader of the wolf pack, leaders that is, are the breeding pair, the male and female.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I do know that. And so my mind is on both sides. I pray, I let go, and I continue to do my work to help as many men as possible. And what I love about the reach of social media is I had cops stop me just to talk to me. Seriously. They're like, here we go. I'm like, man, I don't do this kind of thing. But they say, hey, you know, do you have a moment to talk?
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And it's humbling because to know that here it is as a man, you see him in uniform, think he should have it together, and he does it. Just to talk about marriage and life, and it's a rough day today. And that's what I tell my son to always consider. Always try to consider the last stop they could have had.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And even then, there's no guarantee, but it does increase your chances of going home. 100%, yeah. And how you respond to things calmly. I often tell my boys, I say, the car is not a courtroom. Get home. Right. Then get a lawyer. Yeah, they don't need it. Just, yes, sir. Yes, sir. There's no guarantee that'll work because we've seen the yes, sir, no, sir, and it's still in the other way. Yeah.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Um, but yeah, man, that's as a father, a loving father, I love my son deeply. Um, it's a fear, but I'm going to lean on God with that, man. Like I'm gonna trust you again.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I don't know. You know, people would say, you know, the cave of Adullam is my life's work. I swear, I don't think no one could tell me my life's work until I'm dead because I could do something at A.E. that could change everything. And so my purpose, I believe, is being a servant, allowing myself to be used by God to, you Reach as many people as possible and help them heal, man. Yeah.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
To truly find life and living. You know, especially with me and my heart breaks for men specifically because we're hiding so much, man. And I see them, we talk. I see right through the filters. And it breaks my heart because they're struggling. And they want to be free like me where I can just share and don't care how I'm perceived anymore.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
what's the area in your life where you're hiding the most where i'm hiding the most i don't i don't think there's an area anymore my man i mean now once i can cry in front of my wife like that was the ultimate like oh my god i'm how is she gonna take this one yeah yeah yeah um
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
But no, man, I don't, I don't, there is, I believe all of us, though, have moments where we feel that we're not good enough, you know, like, man, how am I going to do this, like, public speaking or whatever it is. It's just like, But I put all that aside, man, and moved through it. And then again, leaning on those memories of what happened when I allowed myself to be transparent. It worked out.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I never thought I would have cried ever in front of Nicole, my wife. But it's amazing how she respects me so much more that she can see the comprehensiveness in who I am as a man and to see I embody all of the characteristics and even more. It shows her that, man, you know. It gives her the freedom to be scared. It gives her the freedom to not be okay.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
To know that, wait a minute, my husband does it and he makes this.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Oh, yes. I mean, Google it and research. I wrote about it in the book because I believe that's one of the main things that prohibits men from being a comprehensive leader. You don't have to be dogmatic to lead people the right way. And so there is no alpha male, even in the wolf pack. Should men strive to be more alpha? What is it then? So now, so then the beta is negative. Like, so he's beta.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Yes, absolutely.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
First and foremost, I would say to them what my wife would tell them. Make a decision. What do you really want? Do you want this man who provides and protects, don't show you the other side of his life, and then you find out what was really going on, planning his funeral? Or do you want a man who can be emotionally open with you?
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And in the process, you're able to be emotionally open with him because now he has a capacity to receive it. Do you want a partner in life or just a performer? So once you make that decision, now we can move forward. It's going to be difficult because, again, you weren't trained this way.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
But every daughter sees sides in their father like, man, I wish he would have done this because he would be much healthier where he is today. Do you want your husband when he can't be strong, when he can't provide as much to feel like I might as well just die?
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Mm-hmm.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Or would you rather have had a husband who found his worth in who he is instead of what he does so that when he becomes an elder, he enjoys that stage of his life? Right. And so once they make the decision, understand it's going to be work just like the marriage.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
But on the other side, to have a man who can sit there, table everything he's thinking about and lock in with you because he knows it's important to hear your heart. If you make the right decision, it'll literally transform your marriage, your life, and your children's future.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
That's a very good question. One young lady who's married, I was talking with, been through a lot of abuse growing up. Father pretty much disowned her. That's the ultimate for a daughter. And then form of infidelity in the marriage, or I would say adultery. At that point in her life, it was just like, I'm done with this. And I simply asked her, I said, where is your identity?
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Again, back to where it started, this conversation. Is it your identity as a daughter? Is it your identity as a wife? Or is it your identity as your daughter in God? Which one is the most important? What are roles? Which one is your identity? And I get emotional because when she realized that her identity was different from a role, she found value.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
So what does that mean? He's a nurturer. He's compassionate. He's caring. Those aren't soft attributes. Some of the greatest warriors had both. You know, that's why I said be a comprehensive man, be strong, but sensitive, be courageous, but also compassionate. You have to have boom. You want to be multifaceted, not what I call monofaceted. You can only do one thing.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
My role as a father, as a husband, teacher, mentor. Those are my roles. My identity is in the one who created it. Can't be shaken there. Once you find that and make that your foundation, people will always disappoint you. My wife, before we met, she was not in a good relationship, was done with men. I had to really pursue her. She gave love another try and look what happened.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
So I would tell every woman who was going through that, trying to shake that mentality is really research and take time to find out who you really are and what your identity really is. That way it can't be shaken.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Yes.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
We cut off branches. That's what I talk about. But branches grow back.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Or we put on a mask. Oh, yeah, for sure. And so instead of keep cutting off the branches, uproot the tree and move it to a different environment so that it can thrive and grow. It can heal. Absolutely, yes.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And because of that, so many men are stuck in first gear in life. You know, that first gear is that's the masculine gear to get you from stop to start and get you going. But what happens then? Do you stay in that gear if you're driving that car? No, you'll burn out your clutch. That's what so many men are on the edge of suicide today, because everything is by your strength, by your will.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
That's really good. I never thought about that, brother, just for women to see what type of characteristics they should have in a man. And, you know, I tell men all the time, I wrote it for men who are tired of being the wrong men in the moment. And we all blow it as fathers, leaders, as sons trying to care for your parents who are aging.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
You're only identified by your accomplishments instead of who you are. That's why you can't rest. You can't find peace. And I often say peace has to be within you before it's around you. So there's many, I believe, reasons for why we are where we are as men. The biggest fear of us is really doing the introspective work to find the healing that we desire and deserve.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Yes. And I want to close with this. I commend you, man. I'm really proud of you. Marriage, just everything I know. Just some things that we've talked about and which they don't need to know. But I just want to thank you just for being authentic, man, and just really moving in, following your heart, brother. Thank you. And I see it, especially after your father passed and just –
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I recognize that in you, man. I just want to commend you for being authentic, man, and following the good in your heart instead of your fears, man. Just everything, the home, just everything I see you're doing, man, I just want to commend you. And it's very inspirational to me. And I don't know if you know that, but I want to tell you that you inspired me to step even further out of
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
There's other comfort zones I may have. Sure. So I just wanted to salute you in that, Emperor. Thank you. Seemingly, it's like you always find a way to meet the moment. And so I salute you in that.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I guess I have to follow what you just said about your purpose in God. So Yeshua, Jesus said, the least shall be the greatest in the kingdom of God. The what will be? The least shall be the greatest in the kingdom of God. Those who are servants here, those who are looked upon as the least here shall be the greatest.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
That's the greatest for me is being a servant, helping others, walking in humility, meekness, not weakness. Um, That's my definition currently of being great because I have to surrender more to where I know he wants me to go. And I, for me to surrender, that means I'm under a master who is the greatest. So as long as I'm in my place where I need to be, um, I'll be fine.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
So to me, greatness is, for me, having the kingdom of mind, being the least, being the servant, looking out for others and understanding that I have one who is the greatest of them all looking out for me.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
My wife did it. Again, the struggle comes in with men is the process. So the same way we have to unlearn what we've been deceived to believe a man is, We have to give our wives or the women in our lives that same grace to unlearn what they've been doing.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I believe they're creating anything which is interesting. They're not creating anything. Basically, it's self-absorbed, like you're saying. What do you want to leave? What will be your legacy? Will it be all about you or will it be more about what you've done? So for me, even when I read my audio book,
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I thought about how long that would be here on earth, how my son, my daughter, my grandchildren, their children will have it because I was a servant, because I chose to give more than I received. They will find more to life that way. If it's when I was all about myself, my goals, my desires, I wasn't happy. There was no fulfillment. But when I put my dreams on hold for his will, I found life.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I found life, man. And I tell people all the time, try it. Just try it. Deny yourself. And watch what happens. My man. Chase, bless you. Thanks, bro. We appreciate it. Always good talking with you. Powerful. Always good. Yeah. Thank you, man.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And a lot of times as men are breaking free from what I call emotional incarceration, if they face a woman or in a relationship where she just say impassively dismisses a moment where he is transparent with how he's feeling, now he wants to go back into the ways where he was hardened.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And I tell him, no, no, it's not time to retreat back to that cell, that mental jail cell where you know there is no peace.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
So don't be with that woman. Yeah, so a lot of men, we, see, we're changing for the wrong reasons. When I made the journey into comprehensive manhood, I had to change for myself. One moment, I'll never forget, my wife and I, we were in the car, we were arguing, and this was when I was learning how to become a verbal processor, how to express what I'm feeling without yelling or hitting things.
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Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
So you used to be what, a suppressor or angry? Passive aggressive.
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Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
You know, I would come off calm and next thing you know, boom, I would lose. Really? Yeah. Oh, real quick. So she wasn't used to a man, any man in her life being able to articulate what he's thinking or what he's feeling with composure. With calm. Yeah, composure.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
From a man. Because typically, what? We have to be what? Only masculine. Exuding attributes of strength, boldness, and aggression. So I chose to be comprehensive that moment in the car. She gets out the car. looks at me and says, you're the most emotional man I ever met. And boom, slams the car door and walks into the grocery store.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Yeah, seriously.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
To be shamed for your emotions. Yeah, it was very devastating. I got very angry, which I call is the surface emotion for men. You know, it's the emotion we can go to the fastest without going and digging deeper to what we're really feeling. So what were you really feeling? I was hurt. Yeah. Okay, here it is. I'm trying to become a better man. I knew I was, as a father, just discipline only driven.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I wasn't there emotionally for my daughter during the year. She needed a lover more so than a disciplinarian. And she didn't feel that she was the apple of my eye, yet the worm in the apple. And so here it is as a man, I'm doing this hard work. I'm sitting in this car. Trying to evolve. Yeah, and I'm saying, you know what? I'm going to go back to being this demonstrative, quick-tempered.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Peasant aggressive. Yeah, husband. And in that moment, I realized, like, wait a minute. I'm doing this for me, not you. As a byproduct, you'll benefit and the children will benefit. But I need to do it for me because as soon as you don't appreciate my effort, I'm going to digress back into that mental cell. That was a pivotal moment in my journey. Wow.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
And I stayed on the course until I finished it. And of course, I'm still evolving.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
Life wasn't worth living, man, just to be real with you. I compare it to, you know, the box of eight crayons you'll see, and then you have the box of 64. As men, we tend to gravitate towards the box of eight. And so I compare those crayons to emotions. And out of the eight, we may use four of them.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
But women have access to 64, and we do too, but their entire life they've been affirmed in expressing those emotions. So then when it comes to communication between man and woman, she is requesting violet, but all you have is purple. So you can't even meet the moment there. And also instead of, even in relationships with men, If a man offends me, I don't just go to anger.
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
I go to the real emotion of my brother, you know, that offended me. Why don't you trust me in this business deal?
The School of Greatness
Why Men Suffer In Silence: How To Embrace Vulnerability To Create Healthy Love | Jason Wilson
now the conversation now is here no one has to have their guard up guards are dropped now we can communicate as human beings i got tired of having to be stuck in masculine mode all day every day having to live life in a performance-based mentality there's no rest there a man can even take a nap when you live that way. So it was easy decision to make. Was the journey a challenge at times?