Jared Poupart
Appearances
The Deck
Susan Poupart (7 of Spades, Wisconsin)
I remember my grandma always telling me there's certain places or people I couldn't go around. She would say, don't go over there. And I'd be like, why? And she'd say, I'll tell you when you're older. I got a lot of that. Like, I wasn't allowed to go around certain families because they didn't tell me who it was when I was a child.
The Deck
Susan Poupart (7 of Spades, Wisconsin)
I mean, I found out probably when I was 13, the names and stories I started hearing. But my grandma always tried to keep me away from those people because she knew they were nobody.
The Deck
Susan Poupart (7 of Spades, Wisconsin)
You know, the question has gone by, if my mother was white, would they have solved this? I think to myself, you know, I am grateful that they kept this evidence for this long and now this DNA evidence could be a possibility. But it's like, why sit so long? Why do these guys deserve life with their family and have kids and just live life like nothing happened while we sit here and hurt?
The Deck
Susan Poupart (7 of Spades, Wisconsin)
But I think that's what those people are voting on, that enough time go by that they just think they're going to get away with it.
The Deck
Susan Poupart (7 of Spades, Wisconsin)
I see him today. I see him going to work in the morning. I see him every single day. So like I said, I'm reminded of it every day.
The Deck
Susan Poupart (7 of Spades, Wisconsin)
That's my everyday question. I always wonder what we would have been if my mom was alive and how our lives would have turned out. I ask myself that all the time. Before I go to bed, when I wake up, it's always there, you know what I mean? It's in the back of my mind all day long. I ask myself questions about my life. And I wonder if my mom would be proud of me
The Deck
Susan Poupart (7 of Spades, Wisconsin)
In our culture, they say, you know, the Creator only puts in front of you what you can handle. And I ask them every day, like, why? Why did you do this to me? What did I do to deserve this kind of life? Without a mother, without someone to protect me, someone to stand up for me, even. It's always been myself. I had to stand up for myself, for others.
The Deck
Susan Poupart (7 of Spades, Wisconsin)
I had to do that, and I didn't have that for me. I had someone to protect me instead of me being protector. I think that's what hurts. It hurts the most. It's not having nobody.
The Deck
Susan Poupart (7 of Spades, Wisconsin)
You know, I do have that conversation every once in a while and I tell her, you know, man, mom, I miss you and man, I really could use you right now. You know, it's usually when life's hard and, you know, I've been through a lot of hard experiences in my life, but still, you know, even at 43, I still need my mom. You know, I need help.
The Deck
Susan Poupart (7 of Spades, Wisconsin)
There's certain things in life that you just need someone to help guide you. And, you know, I'm tired of being the one that has to do the guiding. I honestly believe something's going to come up. I'm not trying to get my hopes up too high, but I have hope where there was none for a long time.
The Deck
Susan Poupart (7 of Spades, Wisconsin)
I remember the day my uncle told me that My mom wasn't coming home on Thanksgiving. I didn't want to believe it. I was like, no, no. I just remember getting so angry and just being angry and not believing them and just telling myself, my mom's coming home. That's not true. And then, you know, through time, it sunk in. I think I went inwards.
The Deck
Susan Poupart (7 of Spades, Wisconsin)
I just kind of bottled up everything, all my feelings, and just became a very angry child. To me, Thanksgiving doesn't hold as much to it as it should, you know what I mean?
The Deck
Susan Poupart (7 of Spades, Wisconsin)
Family, this and that, because on that day, to me, it just is a reminder that I know my mom isn't here and that she was taken away and we were denied a life with her that we should have had, that we've seen everybody else have a mom except for us. After my mom was gone, my grandma, she'd tell me every day that she wished she was dead because she wanted to be by my mom.
The Deck
Susan Poupart (7 of Spades, Wisconsin)
And hearing that, as a kid growing up, that my grandma was so brokenhearted about it, it hurt. It hurt till today. Another reason why I was so angry is that kids would constantly say stuff to me about my mom being dead or murdered. They would tease. So then I'd have to beat them up. So I got into doing that.
The Deck
Susan Poupart (7 of Spades, Wisconsin)
I knew I was wrong, but at the time I was so angry that they'd make fun of me for not having a mother. So then I did what I had to do.
The Deck
Susan Poupart (7 of Spades, Wisconsin)
She was very loving. She always had a smile. I always remember laughing and having a good time with people.
The Deck
Susan Poupart (7 of Spades, Wisconsin)
She had a big heart. I remember going out to other people's houses, and she would always help them clean up their house. She was good in that way, like, help people. If they were having a hard time, she'd go help them in any way she could, whether it be watching the kids cleaning a house or just being there, you know. She was a good person. She didn't deserve what she got.
The Deck
Susan Poupart (7 of Spades, Wisconsin)
What we buried was the few bones that were left. They didn't show us when we were kids, you know, but as I got into my late 20s, they showed us a picture of what was in the casket. It was a Ziploc bag with a couple few bones and a dress. That's what was in it. It all fit in a Ziploc. I remember seeing it laid out, and that's what I was told.
The Deck
Susan Poupart (7 of Spades, Wisconsin)
It could all fit in a Ziploc bag, and that's what was left.