Jared Freid
Appearances
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Good for you. Do you think he ever, do you think he has any relation to this podcast? Like you're out there.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Can you, but this is the thing like with like, you know, I kind of envy your generation because this idea that you could go to Europe, you go fuck for a couple of days. There's just no, it's goodbye. There's no follow up.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Right. You have a hit podcast. You become this big thing. There's no Roy being like story time. Right. I fucked pumps. And she didn't even ask me any questions. Can you believe it? I didn't even speak English. She didn't care.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Yes. For you. You know, I've talked about this before. It's National Geographic. I feel like I have come to the, you know, to a far off distant universe. And I am just a fly on the wall watching. And I'll never forget the moment I felt this was when I went to a last time I was here. I went to where they go line dancing. What's it called?
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Now it's hit it and follow on Instagram and watch every story and pop in every now and again with a fire emoji.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Drunk text, I'm okay about it. I'm not that bad, but I get them. And I think anyone who takes a drunk text like anything but like laughing at a toddler, like that's them at their most toddler form. Yep. reaching out, good for them. They had a fun night. When I see, are you out tonight at 3 a.m., I'm like, good for that person. They had a nice night.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
And when I wake up to it at 7 a.m., I'm just like, thank God I'm me. Good for them for being them. I'm just so no harm, no foul.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
So I'm at the Carlton Hotel in Cannes. And we're there for Spotify with the Cannes Lions Festival, which is this big marketing festival. And every hotel and every beach club is taken over by like Meta, Spotify, LinkedIn. It's basically like a... A liberal's wet dream. Giant circle jerk. Right, giant circle jerk.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
And we get brought in to do a one-hour panel, and that's it for Spotify, to talk about podcasts and ads and stuff like that, which is a great, fun time. We're at the nicest hotel, and the door, the circular door, what is it called?
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
The revolving door is like... not pushable. Like it would take three people to push the revolving door. And the whole week we're, we're sitting, I'm watching people pushing this revolving door. You're at the nicest hotel in camp. You should see one person have to struggle with that door. And it should be like bell hop, get over here. Like, how are we dealing?
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
And then everyone's going to the other door. They're trying at once going out of it, going to the other door. you're in the lap of luxury. If anything should work, it's the door. Or there should be a door guy standing there being like, not this way, everyone this way.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Someone, I just don't like, when you have a high-end, high-end experience, and then we're just stepping over this one thing every day, there should be accountability here.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Awful. Because they take your money and then they act like money doesn't exist. You can't live in both worlds. Right. You can't live in a world where we charge $1,200 a night for a hotel room and oh, we're gonna make this about money? That is the French attitude. It's the same as like, what are you so angry about? Well, I'm angry that I'm spending a month of rent to spend a night at your hotel.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
And seven minutes of the night is spent wrestling with your door. That was a $5 door experience. I do think of money. My problem with most things is this under expectation versus reality. I think that's where every frivolous grievance comes from. You expect a certain thing and then you get this thing that is under expectation. This is the same... Again, it's the food reviewer.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Cowboys? That was like, that was as if I was watching like a tribe, like watching a tribe doing tribal dances. Like I've never seen it. And all the men... looked like the type that would bully a man for dancing. Like all the men dancing looked like they would bully a guy who liked show tunes and dancing to show tunes. And they're dancing with the big belt buckles and the tucked in shirts.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I expect to be told by someone who knows their food where I should go based on a... a rating system that relates to money in some way or another that lives in the real world. And then it ends up living in a fake, you know, fancy pants world of like, oh, wait, well, people pay rent? People have mortgages? People have children? Diapers cost money?
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
People ask, and it's always married people. Because they want you to admit that you wish you had what they had. Which, what they have is pretty awful from my vantage point. What they have seems pretty boring and not that fun to me. But they wanna make sure that you admit. They're basically, they're turning you into their relationship cuck.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
You know, they want you to grovel and say, oh, I just I don't know what I could do because there's no good way to answer it. Like, let's say I answer positively.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
How are you still single? Well, no, I like my life. I like it a lot. I like being single. Now I sound offensive. Right. No one believes that.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Or I go negative. Now I go sad town. Well, I guess maybe I just I'm afraid of going to the next step. And I should probably talk to a therapist about this and. You know, I just, I don't know if I could love in the way I really want to love. You know, like I, that's not a conversation anyone really wants to have. So then how are you still single?
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I could go like incel, like it's these women, you know, like there's no good option other than like, please set me up with someone, please give me what you have. And it's like, I don't want what they have.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
The note is cute. The note's really cute. As someone with a dating podcast that talks about dating now for over a decade in the modern age, this is kind of what people want. The in real life, especially what women want a lot of times, a man making a decision, pursuing. deciding on them, not being vague. This guy.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
It is interesting, the thin line between people want and when it gets creepy. Because one note, this is beautiful. This is great. Now the next move has to be We text, we make a plan. The minute you go to the second note, now that is what someone does who has captured your child.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
They're dressed like their mom was like, tuck in your shirt. Like they look ridiculous to me.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
And he was looking for safety as far as, I want to make sure this is okay that I approach you. I didn't get a creepy vibe.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Well, your issue is that you're not taking, you know, the bait here. I mean, it's okay to not like it. I'm not saying... But I just... Dating in general, I have huge... intimacy issues that keep me what are you looking for in a partner do you even want a partner I don't really want a partner okay so I'm really selfish I'm not a huge prize no well your confidence is an issue right now
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Yeah, but there might be people who, if you found a partner that was like, you go to your house, I go to my house.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I'm all out of love. I'm so lost without you. I just want to fuck whenever you come to the city every now and again. Pumps, we just want to fuck. Just blow me and leave.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
And it was just very like, it was manly. Like the way they like owned it, but also like I couldn't- Was it kind of gay? It was gay coded. But that's why it was so unbelievable to me. This is like, and again, you have your assumptions of other people and what their, you know, what their, you know, views are and who they like, who they hate. And you're watching these man's men Like men's men type.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Pookie's Birkin will be full of jets come, full of jets come. Pookie's Birkin is full of it all day, all night. Pookie looking fire. Pookie, that vagina's looking fire, even after you gave birth to Paloma. Poogie, they stitched you up right downstairs. Like when is Jet ever an asshole?
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I don't hope he's an asshole. I hope they have like a normal life. I hope they have a very non-problematic, but there's just more than meets the eye.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I know, because I've been in relationships. I lived with someone for a minute, and I was just so annoying to them. And I enjoyed that. I did enjoy annoying them. You liked it. She didn't. I mean, I think that I would hope that some of it was cute to her. In the beginning, it probably was. My husband does this to me. Yeah, and that's what my dad does to my mom, is just constant messing with her.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Yeah, my husband does this to me. The idea that someone would... Again, you go to a gala, you go to an event, you look beautiful tonight. You look amazing. To set up a camera... and go, Lukey looks fine. It's like, get out of here, loser.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I just think that that guy doesn't have friends. Like, all of my friends would be like, what are you doing with your wife on video?
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
And then once they start making money, people, like, they'd be like, what, you make what from that? And then they would go, oh, it's for the money.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
But there's a beginning period hump to get over where my friends would be like, what? Wait, why do you just... Do you just compliment her and then people watch and think you're a good guy?
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
pet owners yeah he's got to watch all that weird sex they're having exactly all that birkin bag advocate for the french bulldog that is a victim of pookie and jet's unbridled narcissism and god only knows all the sex that you describe here's what you need to do here's a youtube exclusive you need to interview the frenchie and then i'll dress up as the frenchie yes and then it'll be me with a cigarette being like i don't know um
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Pookie is fine. She doesn't say much. Jet, I mean, this guy, he fucked a Birkin bag. He put his penis in a Birkin bag. I don't know what the hell he's doing. I have to watch that every night. They let me sleep on the bed. I don't want to sleep on the bed. I'd much rather sleep in the other room. They prefer I sleep on the bed.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
You know, one night Pookie pulled me aside and was like, what do you think of Jet? And I was like, can I tell you the truth? I think it's a little weird that he only compliments you and gives you no, you know, I could give you a few things that you should improve. I think you don't dress your age. I think you need to like reign it in a little bit. This guy's never going to tell you.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
You're going to think you're great your whole life. People are talking about you behind your back. I talked to the other dogs at the dog park. Okay, I talk to them. Everyone's talking about you. He doesn't go down on you at all. He refuses to go down on you. He's that complimentary and he won't go down on you. Hand stuff isn't enough, Pookie. Okay? His wrists are flimsy.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
And they're just like, and one and two and three and four and five and six and shimmy your gal. And you're like, this is crazy. And they got the hats on. And I was like, like if I put on a cowboy hat and a plaid shirt and tucked it into my jeans that were skin tight and cowboy boots, I'd be like, it's Halloween. Right. I wouldn't feel comfortable. No, I would be, I would feel like a fraud. Yeah.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I feel how he holds onto the leash. Okay? It's not an act. See, I'm an actor too.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Had it. I think recycling is the dumbest thing in the world. If recycling was important, wouldn't we, like, have a – like wouldn't we just know recycling so well? Wouldn't that be like taught to us from such a young age and over the course of years that we would be like, how is it that I'm 39 and I go to the garbage and I'm like, what the fuck is compost?
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Like if it was important for us to do, we would know how to do it. In the same way we know how to drive, in the same way we know how to merge onto a highway. If it was life or death, which I don't believe it is, You ever watch them take, you think the people at Starbucks are like taking the bags, the separate bags to separate places? No, they're putting it in one bag.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
And that's the problem I have is we as a country, us citizens, are forced to argue amongst ourselves and think someone's a good person or a bad person based on how well they do a recycling. When this is at the corporate level, this is at the government level, this is not our problem, we can't fix it.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
And now we are forced to judge one another based off of some family that's making money off of recycling. You ever meet someone and they're like, oh, that family made it all in waste management or they made it all in recycling. You go, oh, so some kid is going to private school while I'm sitting there going, well, the plastic had food in it and I don't know if I can throw it away now.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I just think it's all bullshit and it's made us look, it's become a religion for people. People think they're good people because they recycle.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
We wonder why anxiety is at an all time high. It's because of stuff like this. Like how about you just give us a big shoot to put everything in and let's just forget it. We did our best. Like this idea that I'm a good person or a bad person, it's like creating OCD out of nowhere. I got to like touch the garbage can three times to make sure that I recycled the right way.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
And what you're saying is correct. I was in Austin, Texas. I got in an Uber. I was in the Uber and the woman driver, she's in the front. She chugs a plastic water bottle. She rolls down the window and she hocks it out the window. And I was like, oh my God. And I, you know what I did? And this is weird. And this is how diseased I am by the big recycle. I literally was like, I don't know what to do.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I came here. I love you guys. I came here to woo you guys, to court you guys.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
So I took my seatbelt and I put it on. Like as if that was related to, like her throwing out the window, like, well, what will she do next? She might drive on the wrong side of the road at this point if she's willing to throw a bottle. That's how diseased I am by this idea that like, If you don't throw things away correctly, you must be a crazy person or a bad person. It's just affected me.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
And that's not, I don't think they're fraud. No, not at all. I would be like, my friends would be like, who are you trying to fool here? It's just, I, I, so I do come here and I do have this moment of like wide eyed, like, wow. And I kind of like, I appreciate, I like that. Like I, I, that's why I'm, what I'm saying before is like, I'm, I think losing regional things is like a bad thing.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
So I hate recycling. I hate when people tell you to have a reusable bottle. I hate when, you know, and all these reusable bottles are to make someone else money. Like, follow the money. Like, we are all just getting coaxed into this emotional thing. We're, like, being emotionally taken advantage of.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Had it. I think the dinner at the wedding is the worst part of the wedding. If it were me, how I would change weddings... I'm having pass-around hors d'oeuvres the whole night.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Never stops. Keeps changing. In the beginning, it's more cocktail hour fare. And then as the night goes on... Slider. Sliders.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Pizza rolls. And then you start getting into forkfuls of grilled chicken, little cups of pasta. And then towards the end, you have dessert pass-arounds. I want... the waiters at my wedding to have done 30,000 steps by the end of the night.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I think that is – because we sit down for this dinner. It's like weirdly formal. No one wants the food. It's never good. Never good. And no one's ever – it changes up the whole like energy. We have to sit for this –
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
This also goes into another point where the feedback's gonna be, but what about grandma and grandpa? We should have an age limit at weddings. I think there should be no grandparents. I think we have to get rid, I think the upper age at weddings, I think 70 and younger, everyone else, if they're over 70, we will have a live feed We will have it going the whole night. They can watch on Zoom.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
We'll set it up in their, you know, their old folks home and they can watch from home. And you know what? By the end of the night, they'll be appreciative. We'll send them like a basket. You know, those influencer packages. We'll send them a basket that like when they open it, a little firework goes off. You know, a picture of the couple.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Right. We're doing them a favor. And at one point we can put up a big screen and we can show them from their bed like Grandpa Joe. Like a big wave. Yeah. They'll do a wave like they're like the soldiers abroad on New Year's. Like, hey, we're here. And then we go, okay, back to the ball drop. You know, it's like.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I've had it, I don't get it. I don't understand the need to run a marathon. Again, what they do to you is they say, well, I'm raising money for this great cause. And do we need you to run? To do that? I don't think we... How about you? Listen, it's not the marathon that I don't like. It's the people that go out after the marathon. After the marathon is the worst bar night of the year.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Because it's like... You know when they say New Year's Eve is like amateur's hour?
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
This is amateur's hour from the worst type of human. Because... The person who runs a marathon, they're like an A personality. They're waking up at 6 a.m. They never go out. They tell you, I can't go. I got to get up for my run. They've been making you feel bad about going out for a whole year.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
And then on their big night where they're wearing a medal in a tinfoil blanket, they're out looking at everyone at the bar. Look, I'm out. Look at me. I'm drinking. Yeah, I'm a shot. I never have a shot. It's this big, like, elitism. Yeah. Of like, I never party, but this is the night I party because I just ran 26.2 miles. Like, that's what it took for you to go out.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
How about you're not a fun person? How about I regret giving to your narcissist? I regret giving to your whatever charity you represent. You have now made me hate this charity. The only night you go out is when you're wearing a medal that you didn't even earn. You didn't win. Like think of like the awful person that the only night they let loose is when they've run 26.2 miles. Yeah.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I don't like when people hate reality TV. You don't have to watch it. It's not like going to the bar after the marathon. We have to be in the same bar. I have to be amongst these losers with a medal on. With a reality show, change the channel. You don't have to watch it. If you don't watch a show, I don't care. I don't watch your shows. And then their big thing is like, it's not real.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
What is real? What show are you watching? You just watch the news and that's it? There's no place that takes you to a different place. You think Ted Lasso's real? Reality shows, yeah, everything is not real. Everything is a version. I would say a reality show is more real than Breaking Bad. At least they're using their real names. Right. You know, like I just don't understand.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
And it's like always their insecurities. I like The Bachelor. I think The Bachelor is fun. It's got a great arc. Starts with 30 people. Then it goes down to one and they get engaged. That is a beginning, middle and end that you don't get a lot in life.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Let me enjoy that. But what these people do, they go, oh, what is, you know, the men, they all, the men that hate The Bachelor that are insecure, they go, oh, what is it, you fuck all the women? It's like, yeah, they do it on camera. It's a big porno on CBS. And then the women that don't like it, they're like, it's just not real. And it's like, sorry, your life is awful.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Bring you back to New York. I flew here early to be in your midst, in your aura. Yeah, I want to have it in person.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I don't like – well, this is a very specific complaint. Right now TikTok is like all restaurant reviewers and they're like bringing you into this like – it takes no personality. There's very little fun in them. They're just kind of explaining what the restaurant is. Right now the Corner Room is like a big hot place in New York and it's like because Taylor Swift went there.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
And it's like kind of like high-end TGI Fridays is what the food looks like. Like they have like a – They have a pig in a blanket. No, what do they have? No, they have pizza bites. They got Totino's pizza rolls. Okay. They have the pizza rolls and fine.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I'm going to like a pizza roll anywhere I get it from, whether it's from my freezer and it's been there a hundred years, I'm going to like a high end pizza roll too. Like if a chef was like, you know, when a chef looks at something and goes, I can do that, but I can do the chef's version. Right. Yeah, of course that's going to be delicious.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
But these reviewers never tell you what their financial situation is. Like it's always young people, mostly women who live in New York who are like, and they have no, their voice never changes modulation. It just goes, the corner room in New York City has the most fire pizza rolls that you've ever had. And you're like, okay, who's paying the bills?
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Like I need to know because how good something tastes when you go to a restaurant is directly related to how easy it is for you to pay your bills. Like if you are struggling month to month for rent and you decide to take your one night out to have an $18 pizza roll, it better make you come your pants.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
And if you're getting your rent paid for by Daddy Warbucks in Connecticut, and you don't worry about rent, it's pretty easy to say that Totino's Pizza Roll is fire and slaps. So I need, at the front of every review... Who's paying the bills? How much you pay in rent? Is there a credit card that's shared between you and a parent? Because I don't need, like, because what happens is we all forget.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Like, you know, now it comes two years later, this person has a million followers and making a hundred grand a month. Right. And they got Patreon subscribers and they're like, please, you know, use my promo code. Well, Let me know, you know, where the promo code came from. Like, I need to know, like, is a promo code dad pay for everything? Right. Like, I just need to know where this all started.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I am a professional complainer. I'm a ranter. I mean, I do this every day of my life. And my joy, the thing is, I love a complaint that is frivolous. I love a complaint that is like a nothing. I love when someone goes, calm down. It's just... the elevator and I'm like, calm down about the elevator, this is the only thing that matters to me. I can't believe you're not as enraged as I am.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
There's no honesty. You're seeing everything through a keyhole. That's the problem with the internet. And we all know that. It's not an interesting take to be like, we're only seeing the good.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
You know who the worst people are? The couples comedy on TikTok. The husband and wife where the wife's like dancing on a table. She's like, I'm crazy. And then the husband's like, look it, she's crazy again. And then we're all supposed to like, it's all just like, it's all I love Lucy. It's the most...
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
It is the most hack, garbage comedy I have ever seen, and it all has millions of views, so again, I'm making people mad because they're like, but I love seeing Laura get on the table. She's always dancing. He's a good husband, like Jet and Pookie.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I mean, Jordana Abraham, who's my co-host for the UL podcast, this is, she has brought me to the light. She was like, it's objectifying. She was like, immediately, she's like, she's an object. And this is Jordana's take. And I'm like, it's totally right.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
For me, I look at Jet and it's like, that's not, that is infuriating to me because it reduces men to partners, male partners as, you know, either tell me I'm wonderful or say nothing at all. have no opinion other than I am a gorgeous queen goddess. And you see these women in the comments like, see, I just want to find a guy who can talk to me like this. It's like, yeah, no one talks to people.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
They're just such not real people. Like, I just want to see Pookie. There's no toilet paper. Like, I want to see them do some weird shit. Pookie, shit on my chest. Like, I just want one real video from them.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Apparently. Paloma, like, I'm going to have Pookie. Let's name it after a daiquiri.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Well, I'm sorry to interrupt. I agree with you. I think things are so horrific to us. We're so scared of the world that these people, this unreality is kind of like, you know, is a brain. It's like making our brain ooze.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Nothing is worse than a calm down. Relax, calm down, easy, whoa, who cares?
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I like it. Are we done with this conversation? We have nothing else to talk about. It's boring. Is that all you got? Anytime someone says, do you like Fountain Diet Coke? I want to look at them and go, do you talk to your parents ever?
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Do you have friends? Yeah. Does anything interesting ever happen to you?
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Yeah, I care about everything that doesn't matter. I have the problems of the problemless. It's like a very beautiful place to be. I think everyone should hope to be where I am in life. No problems, but every problem in the world.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
So I knew, well, I like adding some grievances that I know you guys will know.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
That no one else, the unrelatable grievance. Have you been to the Carlton in Cannes?
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Okay. This is the most beautiful hotel I have. One of the most beautiful hotels I've ever seen. It is in Cannes in Sofra, south of France. It is.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I was in Sofra for, we did, I went on a vacation there alone, which to any straight man listening, which all three of you, just don't go to Europe alone. That's my advice to you.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
No, for women. Women go to Europe because they can meet a guy who was, you know, they have predators there too.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Foreign speaking men who want, you know, wanting to fuck a woman is international. There's no, you know, there's no, there's no borders to that. Being disgusted by American men is also borderless.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I love this. This is like a character out of a movie. Right. So how did you, so you just go, like you point at a hotel?
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Yeah, it's like a ballad. I'm all out of love. I'm so lost without you. So that's playing throughout the whole two-day tryst.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
All he had to say, I'm so lost without you. You're like, bring me to the hotel room.
Please See Below with Brynn Whitfield
Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And they also don't want to feel like they're underperforming for someone.
Please See Below with Brynn Whitfield
Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And that is you letting them know, here's my standard. And this is how I'm walking through every day. Every day they don't talk to you is they're lying to you.
Please See Below with Brynn Whitfield
Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
That's my Netflix special, yeah.
Please See Below with Brynn Whitfield
Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And I don't think most people like that feeling. And again, you can check in with them. Hey, I mentioned last week. What I'm doing, I'm just reiterating where I'm at. So then you go from there. But I do think what I'm saying right now, diet and exercise. Not as fancy. You're not going to get an answer right away.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
But didn't you just film another Netflix?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I just filmed another special. Hopefully it goes on one of the streamers, but we filmed it about a month ago, so I'll have a second special at some point. But we're editing and doing all that fun stuff.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
No, but it makes sense. It's very straightforward. I have a theory that men know within six months whether or not they want to marry you. I'm not saying that they're going to. I'm not saying that they're ready to. I'm not saying that – any of that. And I think – in my personal opinion, I think men know after six months.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I think they know within six months if they see you in that light or not versus – Right.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
No, I agree.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And some men have told me they know in three months actually.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I think men know – I think the way men date is – they're attracted to you. If they're on the date, they're attracted to you. No man goes on a date with someone that they like.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Oh my God, I've told this to so many friends. They're like, I think after like three dates... Someone I know, then he kind of was like, hey, I don't think this is going to work out. And then she's like, I was trying to think. Maybe on that second date, he didn't like such and such. And I was like, no, honey. He wouldn't have even gone out with you on the first date.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
They ran into each other's street in New York. That's how they met, exchanged numbers. And I was like, he wouldn't have even taken you on the first date. So it wasn't something he was icked out on the second date. Because then he also went on a third date. There's no male physical ick. He thinks you're hot. He thinks you're attractive. That's it.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
No, the reasons men end things are way more personal and detrimental. Yeah. Tell us more. That's why the ick is fun for women to talk about and not fun for men to talk about. I talk about the ick on my special.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I know. You're like the inventor of the ick. I'm not the inventor. Do you own the IP of the ick? It's under your name? I wish.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I'm owed a lot of money if that's the case.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Wait, so explain that to me. I love the detriment. I like the way you say it. It's far more detrimental.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Well, because you see, like, you know, maleics are turnoffs. Like, they don't see a future with this person. It's not like, I don't think any man is, like, one, you know, sandals with jeans away from being like, I can't fuck this chick.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Fun?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You know, like, that's just not how it works.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
It's way more like, oh, my God, like, I'm stuck in this now. you know, with someone that might not be the person. And again, the only thing that could ruin my life as a woman, like I, like I, you know, financially, mentally, physically, you know, not physically, uh, but like financially, mentally, like if I got married right now, like my life is pretty good.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Does that help with your dating life at NYC? Is it NYC Guru? Do you have a Netflix special?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
My life is in reruns, you know, at 39 and single, like I'm living groundhog's day. I wake up, I do my thing, I make money, I save money, I eat, I sleep, I fuck, you know? So, If I got married, that is a new season of the show. And I have to put all logic aside and believe in delusion that this person and I are the perfect couple that can last forever to go to that next season.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I mean, that's kind of it's kind of people. It takes it gives you credibility. You know, like I think like, you know, comedian, when people hear you're a comedian.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
So, again, and who am I to say that? It's a mix. It's a feeling. And I get a knot in my stomach and I think fear of commitment is a normal thing.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah. So in your mind, does she have to be someone who's kind of Like, what, in the same head space, at the same place in her life, mentally, financially, something?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I wish I could give that answer. You know, it's just got to feel right. And I think a lot of men have this, like, you know, it's like from, like, those movies. Like, women give a lot of, like... you know, credibility, like the Prince movies, the Disney movies and how much they fuck you up.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I think the coming of age tale fucks up men a little bit that this like person is just going to come out of nowhere and sweet and go, whoa, I got to make, that's got to be the person. I never felt anything like this. You know, that's kind of, that is a very male thing. And, you know, I think that's a nice romantic thing if you think of it in the right way. It's also like, who do you think you are?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You know, like, what do you think? You're going to like, who could do that? Maybe you've got, you know, maybe you're looking at people in the wrong way. So I don't know. I have that issue in my own life.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Have you ever wanted to get married?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I do want to be married. I see that for myself.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Have you been in a relationship where you're like, I think this could be? I think about everyone that way.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
In retrospect or at the time?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
At the time.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I think about everyone that way. And then it's the problem I have. And I think.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
So men think it too. Men think it too. Like on the third date, you're like, is this the person?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I think that's how everyone's thinking.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Oh, that's so exciting.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I knew it. I knew it. I think you have to be realistic. Here's the thing. Men get no credibility for having emotional intelligence. You guys think that we have no idea what's going on. We know everything.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
They either think that if you're not if they've never heard of you, they think you're a loser.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I actually think you guys do know everything.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah, the idea that we don't know that the clock is, people are like, I see a lot of dating advice, people, and it's usually women, they're like, here are ways to get someone on the app to ask you on a date. And it's like, that guy knows. He knows how to ask on a date. That's Darwinism. He wouldn't survive to this point.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Stop trying to manipulate.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Well, stop acting like these men are like five-year-olds who don't get it, like unaware people.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I think that when a lot of men don't get it, it's honestly not to put it on women, but it's because women were so smart and we're always playing chess with everything and we're always like analysis paralysis and reading between the lines and all these things.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I think then actually sometimes, well, in my personal experience, I make up problems that aren't there and then the guy's having to react to stuff that's not real and then I'm judging his emotional intelligence off of that and not actually...
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
So how do you give yourself credibility? How do you show that you're like have a job and have a career like that? No one understands that there's middle class comedians. and I would say that, like, I'm probably in that middle class right now, and, you know, I want it to be bigger.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
how he truly responded to me which was like calm and vulnerable and available things like that and then i'm like i'm not i don't believe it i don't believe three-dimensional chess i'm yeah i'm over here playing chess and doing all these things and he's actually so that's not setting him up for success and then i'm and then his reaction like by the third time obviously isn't going to be are you dating anyone now i'm talking to a few people how'd you meet them
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
one I met in person where in London okay it was really cute it was like a meet cute and then the other one I met highly relatable for the listener just go to London no London is actually amazing for women I love London it's like fishing in a stack pond over there it's crazy the ratio of men to women is probably like 10 to 2
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Also, you're American in London.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Oh, and it's like you already have that's like 3,300 aura points or whatever.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Like nobody's better to date than someone with a ticket to go home.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Because anyone could be a good boyfriend for a weekend.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Right. Brits love American girls too.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
No, Europeans love American girls.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah, they love them.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Because you are leaving. Like, you can be a great boyfriend and then, oh, my God, the built-in excuse. Men love dating someone with a built-in breakup.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Well, and I think sometimes Americans are so, whether because they've experienced it or it's projecting, but I think it's so, again, like, maybe it is the movies or whatever, but not disgruntled, but just, like, about dating in the U.S., so it's so romanticized.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And you see all these, also on TikTok, you see people that are, like, going on hinge dates in London or I met this amazing guy in Italy and he was Mr. Perfect. Like, why am I wasting these times with these, like, American boys?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I talk about this. This is my new material. I just taped a special about going to the beach with my parents. And the way I've been doing jokes now is, like, I take this one story and then I, like, grow the one story from two-minute story to an hour. So I just taped a special, and it's all about going to the beach with my parents and body issues, the millennial boomer relationship.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
It's all that stuff. And now the new special, I went to the south of France, Saufra. I went by myself. And I went because women, all the women in my life, and I have a lot of very close female friends. They're like, go, go. You're going to love it. You're going to love it. And it's not the same for a guy. It's just not.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
That's why I come on a show like this, but, you know, you're either Jerry Seinfeld or nobody, and that's kind of the way the world works, so it's nice because, especially with my parents, you know, like... Oh, what do you do? You do comedy? Yeah, where can I find your stuff? You know, what are their friends? Where can I find your stuff? And you go, oh, you can look on Netflix.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
The idea of a guy going there and meeting women and being James Bond, that's not going to happen. It's the reality of dating. And it's these dating apps. And someone's like, change your location. Can we agree that a woman changing a location is very different than a guy changing a location? A woman changing a location is very romantic. A guy changing it is very disgusting. It's creepy.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Like, meet me in this alley. I'm here for two hours. You know, that's how the guy looks when he changes the location. So, yeah, I'm in Nashville for a couple of minutes. Come over.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah. It sounds like, yeah, you're just wanting to stick.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
But I was with a woman on a date here and she changed her location. I got interviewed by the I called it hood fishing. I found out in the middle of it. There's another person who contacted me. Is this you? You know, they saw a tick tock that I made. I was like, yeah, you didn't make me feel good. Like I felt bad that I felt lied to.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
We are not an idiot.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And she said she lived in New York, but she was traveling.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I'm messaging with this person. And New York to Miami.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I love how now you already had to deal with this once with all these people. Now you're going to have to deal with it again. What's that? Because you talked about it twice. Right, if they listen here.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
But no, this happened twice with the same person. Oh, shoot. Where I was like, we meet on the app. And then they're like, I'm in the meatpacking. I was like, I'm in the West Village. Let's get together. Again, the dream of a dating app is plan made. I'm here. Let's go. And she's like, oh, I'm going to Miami.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And, like, you could tell, like, the wording was very much, and it took to the point of, like, well, I don't live in, you know, it took me going, where do you live?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
It wasn't like, I'm going to add travel. It was like she actually said, she made it appear on her profile like she lived in New York City.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Right. And then it was like, well, I'm here all the time. That's what every woman says. I'm here all the time. I live in Alaska. but I'm here all the time. But it's like, let's just agree that that's a lot of, look, here's what happens when a woman changes location. It's all seen as romantic, and then let's say we play it out.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Oh, we date, I could try this, and then two months in, you're like, I don't want to marry this person. Now you're two months in, why would you make me come here? That gets put on the guy. Now it's TikTok story time. This guy said he could, you know, make long distance work. And then he then we have sex and we hook up and the, you know, the energy changes.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Well, yeah, I got to know you. You know, like it's like, aren't we allowed to get to know someone? And I feel, you know, personally, this is where it's tough to relate to the audience because I do feel and I'm sure you do. You know, a big step for me is like putting someone on social media. And I think that's a big step for everyone. I think we all have 200 friends that are watching.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I think at this age, you're 39. I'm 38. I turn 39 in like a month. Yeah, at this age, I'm done with that. I'm literally going to do one of those announcements. No one's going to know that I'm even dating anyone.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Good luck with a dating podcast.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And I'm just going to put a picture of me with a ring. And then I'll do the introduction.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And that like changes their whole, you know, it happened with The Tonight Show for older people, younger people, Netflix. So it's like the greatest, you know, I would say promotion in the world a comedian could get.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
What are you going to talk about on this show?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Oh, I have like 25 years worth of dating experience.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
But I'm just saying, people are going to want to know. And then like, well, here's the other thing. No man in your life is going to care.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I... I'm going to be sitting here, what, talking about, like, well, you know, how do you... I can't do that. Yeah. I have to care about someone else's feelings.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I would feel uncomfortable, and I've had that, where I end things, you know, quicker than maybe I would have liked to, because I don't want to have to, like, deal... You know, like, I do want to, like, move to that next step and not get, like, a stomachache, because I'm like, well, now I have to talk differently, and my... My life is, you know, made to comedy. I don't do...
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
hey, this thing in politics is happening because I'm an idiot like most people and I don't know what the fuck is going on. So how could I speak about anything that's going on? Most people should shut the fuck up on that subject. So I sit here looking at my own life. So that's incredibly difficult.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And I think most people, especially the women that write in our podcast, the idea of bringing someone home... You know, bring someone home. It's a big deal. Like, now your parents. What happened to Josh?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Oh, my God, yeah, it's the question.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Right, and you don't want the questions, and it's a failure.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Even when you're in, like, the talking stage or anything, I've, like, learned to just not, I just don't even tell anyone anymore. But that's the opposite of how you should act. I know, and it sucks when you're actually excited.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
These people should be introduced to your friends. You shouldn't date in the alleyways. You should date on Main Street. Like, we were just talking about this on the podcast. Dating in the alleyways happens so much and then people hide who they are and it's not their real personality. You are the most you when you're around your friends and family and that's when you glow.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And people are avoiding that because they're so afraid of a question that's coming later, what happened to Jared? Which I get, so that's the hard part.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah, it's like the balance of the two.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Go in the grocery store.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
What a stupid piece of advice. Wait, are you... Okay, aside from women that are like lying about living in Manhattan and actually just fly me out girls from Miami, what are your... What would you say are like three... Well, there's an ending to that story. Okay, wait, what's the ending?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah. Are you on Raya?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
It's actually crazy. So then... I end up redownloading the app when I get drunk, because I'm bored. So I'm at my parents' club in Boca. They live in a country club community. I'm hammered. They serve you triples. It's crazy.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I'm not on Raya. I deleted Raya. I started dating someone, and I got off of Raya. Raya is a nightclub that everyone wants to get into that nobody dances at.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And I'm like, I'll download the app. I make a profile. And then I start. I was there for New Year's. So I'm in Miami by myself at a bar and I match with this girl and I'm like, she looks so familiar. So we start texting again. And I'm like, yeah, I'm here for the night. And then I go, let's exchange numbers. It's the person that hood fished me before. And I was like, wait a minute.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Why didn't you tell me right off the bat? She's like, I thought you knew.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
She's like, I thought this was just a sexy little game we were playing.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Right, and it was lost in communication, and I go, listen, I was truly embarrassed. I was like, I am, because I got a text back, the last text was her being like.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
No, it's not like you slept with her, so you don't have to be embarrassed. If it's like, how many people match on dating apps, it's fine.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I was embarrassed, because on her side, she's like, we obviously have something going on here. And I'm like, no, I feel lied to, I really do.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You have some sort of like geotag on me, and you keep matching anytime I pop up on an app.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I literally had to write back and she wrote me a very nice message like, no, we should give it a shot. And I'm like, I don't know. I was so uncomfortable with myself, the whole situation. No one likes to be lied, or feel lied to. I don't know.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
What do you like most about dating in New York, aside from situations like that? I mean...
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
New York dating is it can I think there's a lot of hope there's magic to it there's hope there's people around there's energy it's not the same seven people at the bar like it can any night it can happen and I think any night you can go out and any night of the week be at a bar and like make eye contact with someone it can happen you know so I think that's the hopeful side of me.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
That was my experience on it. Everyone wants to be there. Everyone wants to look at everyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no one really talks for probably a number of reasons. I mean, the Raya pictures. No one takes a picture like a Raya person.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I think where it becomes, I think New York dating gets exhausting. I think that's why we did you up tour. We, we toured all the cities. We did every city and we did a dating show. So we would give dating at profile makeovers. We bring people on stage, play red flag deal breaker. We would answer emails. It's a fun show. Um, every place thinks that their place is the worst.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Everyone does. Yeah.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
There, but I will tell you, there's no garden of Eden. For dating. Everyone has their problems in every part of the country, even London. They're not having a good time there, too.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah, the grass always looks greener.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Right. But it was interesting, because New York, it's disposability. San Francisco, it was like they had a great line, the odds are good, but the goods are odd. Ah. So it's... A lot of men, but they're like a little, a little tisamy, you know, like, you know, so you're going to get like, you know, you know, you're going to get like, here you get finance bro.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
That's like, you know, super cocky there. You get like, you know, you know, data science guy. And, uh, and then like, you know, a lot of people like, We went to, you know, you go to very liberal places. The women are all annoyed at ethical non-monogamy.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Because that's kind of a liberal shield. Like, that, you know, you can't be like, I'm against it.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Because you're now against progress.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And, you know, like, so these dudes use it to, like, as a front for, like, you want to date me, but I'm also ethical non-monogamous. Oh, my God. You know, so it becomes this, like...
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
okay, I'm going to stay in New York.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I have girlfriends that are just saying the other day, they're like, I swear, you know, when they go on another bad date, they're like, I swear, if I just, like, moved to, like, a smaller town, like Baltimore or, like, whatever, like, I would just – I'd probably be married in, like, a year. The problem is New York and the sheer quantity, and quantity does not equate to quality.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
No, no, no. And you also just want to see who's there who you can match with. No, because I was going to ask if you had Comedian on your... I'm on Hinge.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And they're like, there's just too many people, and there's too many people that you know, and it's the truth. Like, you know that you could – like, you can break up with someone, and you can easily meet someone. Right. Not easily, maybe –
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
truly create some sort of relationship but you can easily literally just run into someone or meet a new person literally at the bar around the corner it can happen any night like right now I'm with you I mean listen I'm on hinge right now and I'm talking to like too many people yeah and it's part like dopamine hit yeah it's part boredom yeah and then you have to go Jared what the fuck are you doing like you feel guilty you feel bad when they're talking to other people too but like yeah you know this is I think like
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
It's all hard. And then I live my living situation. I travel every weekend. I'm going to Australia and New Zealand to do shows in less than a month. I'm going to be on my 40th birthday. I'm going to be on a flight to New Zealand.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
So knowing you're going, now are you like, okay, I'm just not even going to get heavily involved with that anymore?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I don't really think that way. I just think like... Subconsciously? Subconsciously, from my perspective, it's like I have a good out. I always say on the podcast, beware of... Birthdays, vacations, holidays, global pandemics, and engagements. Those are where the breakups happen. Because guys know that if you go through the next step, guys break up before the next step. Okay.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I don't have Comedian on there. I don't have myself on stage currently in any of the pictures. Yeah, it's... Again, Comedian can mean I do open mics and it could mean that I have a Netflix special. That's not my job to like... convince someone. Comedian also offends people. Hey, I'm a comedian. Oh, you think you're funny? People come at you. It's weird.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
So, you know, it's your birthday. If you guys spend the birthday together, you are, without saying anything, closer as a relationship than you were before the birthday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then vacations, that gives, you know, adds air to the thing. You lose momentum. Momentum is a thing. That's why in the small town, I think momentum, and again, as I'm older, I know what I want.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I know who I would match with. I know who I can, and I can be good on any first date.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I crush first dates.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Right.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Because I'm just like enjoying myself. Yeah, you're having a good time.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And it's like then the other person's like.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I don't even know if the other person is there after that. I'm like, that was a great date. And I'm like, I just enjoy myself.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Right.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
After like two cocktails, I'm like on one. I'm the best. I'm with you.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And I can switch the conversation. I take an improv class. Everyone, you know, here's the issue I'm having lately is like I'm on a lot of dates with women who have had it.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Like they're fed up?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
They're like fed up.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Oh, fuck.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And they're like, I was talking to my mom about this. My mom was like dying laughing. She's like, yeah, they fucking want to stop this shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so you get on this date with this person who's like ultra sassy, ultra like fists up. And then I'm a performer.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
So I'm like, I've got to make this person happy.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I've got to break down these walls.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
So now I'm like a clown at a toddler's birthday.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I'm like, do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Ah!
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Like I'm trying to make this woman who's mad at dating.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Believe in humanity. Right.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I have to do it. And I'm sitting there and I left one of the dates and this woman was so beautiful. I was like so attracted to her. And I was like, did I just like, was I just a clown at their birthday party? Like, did I just like cheer someone up for an hour? Like, yeah, make them believe in humanity is such a great way to put it. And like, that's a ego thing for me.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You know, obviously they might not have felt that at all, you know, but. That's a problem I have because I'm like, did I have fun or did I do a good gig?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You're just doing mini shows. Right. You're not even going on dates. Doing bits. You're just doing bits.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Right.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Which first dates are a lot of bits.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
But I think good dating, good relationships is a two-person improv.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Two people who feed off each other. Bad dates is stand-up.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
That's a bad first date. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone performing for someone else.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
For like a cold audience or something. Right. That's just, no. But yeah, who can actually riff and you can just like go back and forth and it's not.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah, so it's hard. I'm exhausted by it.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Are you in, do you manifest, are you in a relationship?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I'm not.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Are you dating anyone?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I've been on dates. I'm not dating. I would say I'm a single guy.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Okay. And other women in Manhattan? I mean, there's no woman in... This is the question I learned you have to ask. Not, are you single? Does anyone think they're dating you?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Good question. No. I think people would think that we've been on dates.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Okay.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
But no. I wouldn't say that at all.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
It's also been a weird time with the holidays. It's kind of hard.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
There's no good time.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
There's no good time. I know. Summer, we're traveling.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Well, that's the thing. That's the thing a lot of people do is they fill the calendar so they don't have to think about it anymore.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And they end up putting their life ahead of the life that they might want. And I do this all the time.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I do it nonstop. Right.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
It's the story of my life. So I always call it the aunt woman.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Like women who love being an aunt. Yeah. They're so busy with the niece and nephews.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
It becomes like the ultimate way of avoiding their dating life.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Because they can go to a house that has like the home that they want to be in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They have the cute kids.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And the kids. Auntie so and so. Yeah, and they don't have any of the responsibility.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
But then it's a way to like, it's like a morality play. They can always. do that where a date isn't worth it.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Isn't worth it, yeah, yeah. It makes them feel better because you feel like you're closer to what you want. I just have a thing now where I'm like, unless you are... Funnier than me, smarter than me, and have more money than me. Like, why would I – it sounds bitchy, but, like, why would – like, I need someone that's going to, like – Right. I need you to have a cool group of friends.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I need you to be having, like, an awesome life on your own so that, like, it adds to mine. Like, because I've worked really hard, and I've come this far, and I got through, like, going to weddings in my 20s. Why am I getting married? I've been engaged. I got through, like, the toughest part and the doubts, and I'm like, I'm only willing to actually sacrifice if I'm going to, like –
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Because saying I'm a comedian is actually weirdly to other people, to the most insecure people, that you're saying I think I'm funny.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Get an upgrade, not, because otherwise, like, why?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Listen, you're speaking my language. If I'm to, like, if you want to have empathy for straight men out there, like, this is kind of the conversation that they're hearing.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You know, so it's like, do I want to be in a relationship where I feel like a loser?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You know, and I think, like, with a lot of men, why do they end it? Why do they end it? Well, they don't feel that they could go to the next level of life and feel good about what would attract you to them.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You know, they're not... So I think, like, so many relationships that I've been in, I'm like, well, I have a career. Like, how could I be responsible for someone else? Like, being in a marriage, sacrifice. Like, that being in a relationship is sacrifice, being responsible for someone else. So, like...
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
you know, you have a lot of like, you know, and a lot of men, a lot of women are like, this is someone I could work with. Like, especially in their twenties. Yeah. You're speaking to a very 30, you know, thirties mindset, which I agree with. Like I have the same mindset.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Make my life better. My life's good. Make it better.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah. That's tough to put on someone. And don't bring any problems into it.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Right, but then you have a guy in his 20s who's like, I better have some fucking money and a few jokes to be attractive to my 30-year-old version of the wife.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And we're in a new world of, like, you know, my dad worked and my mom was a stay-at-home mom. Like, I don't recognize the two-income family. Like, I've never done that.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Wait, what about to girls? Like when you first, if you're meeting someone or hitting on someone and they're like, what do you do? And it's someone that you like or you want to go on a date with. And you say, I'm a comedian.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
That scares me. So, like, it's easy to bash on dudes. It's going to happen. I agree with it. I understand where it comes from. But, like, this is the part where, like, I can speak to where it's like there's so many people I could have ended up with. I could have moved on.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Would I have a Netflix special? I don't know. I do believe I'm the best comedian. I'm the best version of comedian I'll ever be when I'm in a relationship. I do think that will happen for me. It's gotta be right.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
The podcast could just naturally transition into dads being like, hey, are you up to get the babies crying? You can naturally, there's a way in.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I could always speak to dating. I get a lot of, are you staying single for the shtick? That annoys me. I can talk about anything. I can give you my personal perspective on anything. Agree, disagree, whatever.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah, I feel like it's where you're at. I hate when people ask me this question, so I'll ask you. Why do you think you're single?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I think it comes back to the responsibility thing. I want to be good at my relationship. I don't want to be... And I think that's a big part of it that never gets talked... Nobody ever says the end.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
People always give her some reason not saying it because I want to actually be good at it. Right.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I don't want to be... I remember I did it so when they were like, I'll always be second to your comedy. And I was like, that might have been the end of the relationship for me.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
What do you say? Sometimes it's tell me a joke.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
These women say... First of all, everything you're telling me that women tell you, I'm like, I am so normal, and I always think I'm crazy. I'm like, people are saying stuff like that, like rolling over a bed. That was a girlfriend. Rolling over a bed and just being like, honey, I always feel like I'm going to be second to your comedy.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I've never said something that, I've said fucked up stuff, but that's weird. It made me feel bad. That's weird, though.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I'm like, how could I be with someone That feels that I'm, like, underperforming them, but, like, they're just, like, cool with it. Like, I, like, felt really bad about that. So, like, yeah, no, I want to be... I want to be... You know, the idea of, like, I guess we'll get married. You know, I don't want to be dragged into the next part of life.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Do they just say tell me, like dance monkey dance? Right, a little bit.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And I think a lot of, like, times I'm, like, sitting there going, well, if I have a stomachache about the next part of life, then I got to trust that feeling.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And end something that's pretty good. You know, like, I...
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I don't have... How do you trust the feeling, though, not know it's something, because I get that feeling, but then I'm so like, maybe it's my issues, maybe it's my trauma, maybe it's my whatever, like, I need to trust my gut more, but I think it's hard to, because I'm always like double, I'm like questioning... Because here's the thing.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Tell me a joke.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Make me laugh. Right.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
It takes a lot of confidence to move into the next phase of life. What is that? I keep doing the same thing over and over again. It's like the definition of stupidity, right?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Insanity. And so I'm like, if, or in like AA meetings, I've never been AA, but don't they say like, your best thinking got you here? You know, and they're like, well, I think this is, they're like, your best thinking got you here.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Well, I have that feeling with like ending things. I'm like, you had a reason at the time.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Or, you know, it can go in so many different directions. But like, It's it's kind of a good thing. You know, it kind of shows me the person right away. Like if someone says to me, well, you haven't said anything funny yet. Like I know that this person is like kind of a low confidence person. This person is like not really a nice person, the person that's not going to get it.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Right.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And we have a lot of people that write in about their exes reaching back out. If you've been reached out to on Facebook, that is a guy who's married. Red flag.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Facebook's like a cheater's app.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Oh, Facebook is the one because it's like you're attached to someone.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And the fantasy and the memory that probably wasn't even true, and then you start romanticizing someone and what it could have been and should have been.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Imagine if you could look at your yearbook and then call the person that you're looking at in your yearbook. That's what it is. Yeah, it's so strange.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
it's weird but it's like that's how you know you hear about that's where a lot of the cheating you're right you know I think a lot most men you know have men generally have the one that got away not a lot of women yeah because women work on you know a bad relationship until it's absolutely fucking dead yeah and men move on before the next step thinking I mean I do this all the time like I I mean in the special 37th single I talk about it in there do you have one that got away
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I don't know. There's people I think of that I'm like, it could have worked.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
That's normal though, saying it could have worked. Not like the one that got away.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
The more I get away from it, the more it turns into the one that got away. I think the more you get away from it, the more you glorify it, the more you go, what is wrong with you? You could have just done it.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
All it takes is for me to have one bad date and then immediately I'm like, I should have married so-and-so. I had a really, one of my last Raya dates was a few months ago, and it was funny, it was dumb of me, but last January, I was freezing my eggs in London, and I decided I'm gonna go, my girlfriend and I were like, let's go on our Raya, all the DMs,
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
That we haven't answered in like three years and just be like, hey, what's up? What are you doing?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You up? You know? Of course. This guy responded and he was in New York and he said his message from 2021, October 2021 was, hey, Bren, how are you? And so I respond in January 2024, pretty good. How about you? And he replies with, really? And I was like, oh, I'm fucking serious. Yeah. And then I was like, banter, banter, banter. And then we exchanged phone numbers and talking, talking, talking.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah. Nonetheless, finally, this was like six months of light text, not intense, which is like light texting, and then he lives in Florida though, but he works sometimes in New York. So fast forward, I was going to the premiere this year for my show, and he's like, hey, I really want to come, do you need arm candy?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I'll just say it, his name was Brock, which should have been a red flag, okay, Brock, and definitely played lacrosse in college, all of which should have been immediate red flag.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You can imagine what he looked like. So attractive.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I can see the strong chin.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I think he was in the Barbie movie as, like, lacrosse can. Very strong chin. You get a very strong chin. Sales. In sales. That's what you get.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I can see the wispy blonde hair.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And he says, I summer. He doesn't have a beach house.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Like I'm going to like say nice to meet you. Got to go. I'm not going to like really waste my time with that person.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
He just vibes, like even his pictures, like he just doesn't have to try that much of life or like anything. And therefore, though, that breeds mediocrity, which I think he definitely was.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
But anyhow, he's like, do you need someone to come? And I was like, no, no, I have someone coming ready. And he's like, okay, well, I really want to see you. I want to see you. Like for three or four days when he's here, nonstop text me, when can I see you? Let's get a drink. Can I take you to dinner? I keep kind of blowing him off. Then finally, I'm like, you know what?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I have to go to this dinner after my premiere, but then let's meet up for nightcap. And so as I'm going, I'm going to Mr. Chow in Tribeca. As I'm going there, I shared my location with him just because I thought it was cute because I like to do that. So I want you to know because I want you to come rescue me or something. I don't know. I just share my location. I'm like, look at me. For an hour?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah, for an hour to the end of the night. I think it's cute. So you know where I am, so you can come see me if you want to see me. So then he was like, I'm just grabbing a drink with my client. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, let's meet up. Where should we go? And then he shares his location with me. And I see that it's really close to where I'm in Tribeca. It's that bar in the West Village.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Do you think some of these people, like, so let's say it's someone that you, let's say, met on Hinge. Or maybe met at a show. Somehow they're able to, like, know your first name and your surname and Google you. And they see. Right. Because you're not just a comedian. You have a very successful podcast. Specifically about dating.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
So I'm like, oh, you're five minutes up. I'll just come there. He's like, no, no, no. This place sucks. Let's meet somewhere. I want to take you somewhere nicer. I go to the bathroom. We get the check. And I come back. And I text him. I'm like, hey, I'm just going to come to you. We can figure it out. Because in my mind, I'm thinking, wait, he's with a client. Let me go make this guy look good.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You know what I'm saying? I'll walk in and it'll be like, hi, I'm Brent. Yes, this is what he can pull. Because I'm so witty. So I get an Uber, go to the thing, I walk in, he's sitting on a date. And it's not even a regular date. It's like at the bar, the leg situation is like her legs are in, he's his leg, like the body length, and they're like on each other.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And I just walk up, his face fucking drops. And he was like, hi. And I was like, hi. And the girl's like, hi. And I'm just standing there. And she was like, how do you know each other? And I look at him and he looks at me like, please don't. And I just go, LinkedIn. LinkedIn from something. And then we have a very awkward conversation. And they order drinks. Okay. And I'm just standing there.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And then she basically is like, well, it was really nice to meet you. Like, she dismisses me. So I was like, okay, cool. And I was like, yeah, that's fine. I got to go anyhow. I was like. I lied. I was like, my security detail's outside anyhow. Like, what? I don't have security. And then I, like, walk out. I'm like, yeah, Jeff, where are you? I literally, like, dive out of the bar.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I, like, hide behind a car that's parked on Hudson. And I, like, hail a cab and I get in. And I was like, I fucking hate Ryan. I deleted the app. But he was on a date. Could you imagine? Here's the thing. Had I been like, oh, yeah, cool, let's just meet somewhere else or by my house in Gramercy or something, he would have showed up. I would have thought Brock was lovely and amazing.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I would have probably made out with him. And I would have been like, oh, my God, how was work? And he would have made up some fucking – and it just would have been a lie.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You know, men love vague options.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
So weird.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
We don't get rid of leftovers. Like, we don't get rid of – you know, you make sure you are told – I mean, from a young age, go approach a woman. They like it. And that's hard to do. So you don't just say to someone, again, he could have handled this a different way.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah, but why would you share your location? That's insane if you know you're on a date.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Well, it's a confidence thing. It's an ego thing. I don't think he envisioned you showing up to say hi to his client. To me, I don't think that's as crazy a move.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
If I was lying to someone, though, and I was like, yeah, I'm with my business partner, and then I know I'm meeting with a guy, and he says, oh, I'm going to come there. I'm like, no, no, no, I'm with a client, and I lie. I wouldn't then share my location.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And known, like, I have so many friends that are obsessed with you. That's nice. And that just are, like, he's not a brother. And that, like, oh, just gives advice, like, a brother or, like, a really...
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Right. I just think, to me— Brock's not that bright. Well— He's a very confident person. Confidence means you miss these angles. You're not really worried about the cracks. But none of this is surprising. This is a single guy. Or he's in a relationship with this woman. Whatever level they're at, he's on an app. So being on the app is kind of this... I'm out there.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I could be on a date with someone else. I could be on a date with you Tuesday and on Wednesday be with someone else and that'd be okay. Again, this is one of those scenarios where it's like, I'm not apologizing for it, but I'm not surprised. Like, you go... you know, hotshot salesman named Brock who played lacrosse and is matching with you on Raya and then you come back years later.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
He's like, oh, I just, I guess I got another fish on the line. I'm not going to like get rid of this chick.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Men love options. You know, like, and again, that's because too, like, there's no fear.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You know, there's no danger in dating.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I think a lot of women, like, again, like, You know, a lot of women, you know, the work, the fun for men is dating.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
The work is the relationship.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You know, the work for a lot of women is dating.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah, yeah.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
The fun is the relationship.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yes, exactly.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
So we have a, we're at odds, you know, so.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
It's exactly what it is. Yeah, dating is like finding the right one, picking the right one. Should I do this? Is it too soon? Do I like him? Are they a good person? Yeah, my favorite thing to do is be in a relationship. I can just be myself and I feel safe. And then I can be like... And talk about it. And work on it.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And have our weekend set.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Have the plan set. Have kinky sex. Be all weird. You know, you feel like, oh, I get to do this because I'm like... I don't have to... Yeah, movie. Like, oh, I know who I'm taking to the wedding. It's just like a nice feeling.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
cool straight best friend who's like not trying to stick it in you like just like a really great pov um and i feel like i feel like if someone were to google you beforehand and see the podcast it wouldn't be comedian for me it wouldn't be like i mean that's great you're comedian you're funny who doesn't love to laugh um and you have confidence and all those other things i think that come along with it but the the podcast part i'd be like
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Listen, relationships are sacrifice. You know, so... And if a lot of... You know, I think...
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
for me it's like that's the end of like me having like i remember my dad like i was like i think i'm gonna end this relationship he's like well it's your last time to be selfish like you don't get to be selfish when you go and i do believe in that like and i think like the part you know look at every dad fuddy duddy dad dad's the the last to eat last to do shit so like you know that plays a part in it if your parent how long have your parents been married
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Um, I'm 40, so 42 years, you know, so I'm going to be 40. They got married, I think, at 25. Oh, my gosh. Had me at 27, so... Has that, like, seeing them together and... Oh, no, that's... Is that, like... They're not like the couple that I'm like, oh, look at their marriage. Like, I'm like, look at the... That's hard. Like, they scream at each other. Yeah. They're ranting.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
They're, you know, it's, um... I look at their relationship and I look at my family. My family's very close and we like hanging out with each other. Again, I want my life to get better. I don't want to bring someone into that dynamic that takes me away from the fun I have with my family. So that's played a role in a lot of things too.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah. And so one of my girlfriends actually wanted me to ask you this because she has written in before you, but never got through. So I was like, I have an easy pass. And she was like, um, she's like knowing New York is so busy, like, and we're all so crazy and it's a city that never sleeps, blah, blah, blah. Is the excuse in New York is the excuse of I was too busy to like,
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
immediately reply or maybe even like leave a little bit of lag time more than usual is there an excuse knowing that New Yorkers we are actually like busy and stressed we are doing shit non-stop running around like crazy people right I is there an exception to that for New Yorkers no I don't I think for anyone it's like you have to be especially as you get older
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I think you have to be okay with, you know where I live, you have my number. Come on over when you're ready. Make a plan that makes me happy. So everyone deserves redemption. Everyone can lose your number, just like you. I think that's how a lot of men act. That guy, Brock, from the dating app, You message him on Raya, really? Then you have fun banter. He wasn't like, what's been going on?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You didn't think I was good enough? No, no, no. Nothing's that personal. Everyone's got their own life. Everyone's trying to get by. And everyone thinks of themselves as a good person and wants to feel like a good person. So if someone gets back to you and says, sorry, things have been crazy, I would write back, no problem. I totally understand. But you also have to be a better buyer.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Like, you have to go... You know, if the person then, how you been? Hey, listen, I... You know, because that can lead to how you been, what's been going on. And now you're just, like, hovering.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You know, like, you're the helicopter hovering above.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You want dates. You have to... And I think a lot of women, again, they want to be chased. I get that. That's hot to be chased. You want a plan made. You have to let people know that your time isn't to be wasted.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Because... Guys will waste your time forever.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
So I think it's okay. Again, who am I? It's okay. I think writing to someone, this is a very powerful text. This is a very powerful text. Hey, I've been crazy busy too. I'd love to go out again. Make a plan and I'm in.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
That's a good one.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Now make a plan. Now you've given them all the tools to build a house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now you get the feeling of being chased. You get the feeling, okay.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
That is not to say every plan made is a date you're going on.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You know, oh, well, how about, you know, tonight at 8, you know, there's a coffee place. We can get coffee. Listen, I'm looking for a better plan than that. I want to get drinks. I want to be. And that's okay to say that you can be turned off, you know.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I'm looking for a better plan than that.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Right. And if you can't do that, we're looking for two different things.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And that's okay. I think a lot of women that write into the show, their biggest problem is they are following rules that they feel have been made by this woman council.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
If the date goes wrong, am I going to end up on the pot the next day?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
No man deals with that. I've never thought of what other men would think of how I'm operating.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And a lot of women are like, well, am I being too picky? Am I asking for too much? Am I giving this person to what? To who? Who are you answering to?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
But that's why everyone loves you up is because I think we need to stop going through the doom scrolling of all these tarot readers and people yelling and talking about feminine energy and doing all this shit. It's like, I think we just need a straight... That's why all my friends love you is because we just need a straight...
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
and not all this other it's just too much it's like a board it's like women speaking to women I mean of course that can be a beautiful thing and a helpful thing and there's a perspective that some you know that I think some a man could never give on certain areas but then other stuff it's like it's becoming too much it's overwhelming I only speak for myself yeah that's and I'm saying if a woman wrote to me
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Here's what happens. And, you know, I think... This is the difficult part for me, is I try to be as classy as possible with what I talk about. If something were to happen, I'll talk about what happened. Now the person on the other side of that will know that's about them because it happened to both of us.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I'd like, you know, I'd love to go out again. Thank you for getting back in touch. I hope you've been well. I'd love to go out again and just make a plan and I'm in. What's my response? Again, I only give advice that would work on me. What response could I have that would be negative or bad? Now you have to remember, stop being confused, start being turned off.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
you know and there's no confusion you're a smart person you've lived in this world you've made it to this point get in touch with what turns you on and off and turn-ons can be very small they can be very you know turn-offs can be very small it's okay to be turned off it's okay to be turned on it's okay to let someone know yeah that plan turns me off you know plain and simple that plan turns me off you're not gonna be like a bitch guys are very motivated by turning a woman on yeah
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
So when you tell, I remember I was dating someone and we were like past the fart stage and I'm like farting like crazy. And I'm like really farting. And, like, I'm letting them fly. I think it's hilarious.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I'm, like, doing it on her knee. Like, I thought it was, and I think I'm hilarious.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Right. But then there's a point where she goes, listen, the farting is turning me off. I was so... hurt.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I was like, I turned you off. That's the thing. It's the ego of a man. If you're like, I just know how I felt being told I turned someone off. There was redemption. Get better. It's going to take a while.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I couldn't believe it.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I thought I was like, this is cute. They think the joke is as funny as I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was really not happy to hear that.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Have you ever told a joke during sex?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah, of course. I tell jokes all the time.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Do you test material?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
No, not like jokes. It would have to be something that happened with us.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I've said really funny stuff, and I had one guy tell me, please don't make jokes during sex. Really? Sometimes if you're having sex, I'd be like...
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Right.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Sex is the funniest thing in the world. It's funny. What's more vulnerable? Two naked people? This is crazy. I think it's funny. There's fluids. It's all uncomfortable. That's when jokes are made, when things are uncomfortable.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You know, if you're using the pull-out method for contraception.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Not a big fan. I'm a condom guy. I can't pull. If I have a pull-out method, I come in like seven seconds. I'm like, listen.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And I can understand from their point of view, if they were like, sent it, like, was this about you? You get a little hot, you get a little flush, you're like, oh my God, I'm hearing the honest perspective of the person I was with. Because that's the thing about dating. We're as honest as we can comfortably be until you're with someone. So the hard stuff happens later.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
But then when they, you know, like... Whatever. When they would ejaculate. Right, where do they put it? Yeah, anyhow, they'd go to get like a towel. I always yell, clean up aisle five.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Why wouldn't you do that?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And I was like, clean up aisle five. And I was like, is this thing on? And he was like, I just thought it was really weird. And I was like, you know what?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Again, that's one of those like turned off. I'd be turned off.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
It's awkward to lay there just like a dead body, like, you know, like just waiting. Right. It's awkward. It's funny to be able to clean out aisle five. Right.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And it is weird when you take that towel and you're just like rubbing.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah. I'm not good at cleaning. I'm like, you should do this. It's all a mess. Jokes during sex are a good thing, I think.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I think it's got to be right. Look at how small your penis is. That's going to be mean. Like laughing at someone's dick. I don't know. Jokes during sex are fun. I think, again, every joke someone has to be in on it. When you say clean up aisle five, They're in on it. They made the mess. You're aisle five. Like, I can't believe he wouldn't be more.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I love that I have it confined from a comedian. Oh, no. That was a good joke.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
It was a good joke. It's also jokes are great space time.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
It all has to make sense. If you said clean up aisle five like 20 minutes later, like, it wouldn't work.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah, the delivery. It's all about timing.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Hey, remember when I had cum all over me? Clean up aisle five. You're like, what? A little late to that one.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And next we take it to our sponsors, Windex and Clorox. Right. With the new disinfecting wipes. It's so funny. Okay, wait. So knowing that half my friends are in love with you.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I'm so happy to hear your friends enjoy the show.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah, they love it. They really love it. If your future wife is listening, what do you want her to do?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
to know let me fart on your knee and find it funny yes that's it that's the key to your i don't know i i'm so i feel so stupid i'm 39 i should have been married a decade ago shit is a dirty word i know but i'm like the long you know i talk about this stuff because i enjoy the the banter i enjoy the subject it is um you know i feel i feel like i'm just like uh
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You know, I should probably – I'm like – the flight to New Zealand, I'm like on my 40th birthday. That's like – I'm feeling that.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah. You know?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah. But we'll see.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
40's got to be weird. Yeah. It's when I think about the kids. I don't mind about being 40 and not being married yet. It's when I'm like if I had had a kid when I was 30, I'd have a 10-year-old right now.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
That – Well, I was at my dad's 40th birthday. I'm 12 years old. or 13, I have memories from it.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
But didn't they seem so much older than we are now?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
It's the unfair version of our generation.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah, adults seemed older. I remember my aunt when she was 38, she was a pharmaceutical sales rep, and I thought she looked like Princess Diana, she'd wear matching suits and da-da-da and all this stuff, and I'm like, that was her at 38, I'm 38, that's not me. I still feel like I'm 26 or something.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Listen, I agree. I'm with you.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
It's weird.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I've been 27 for a while.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I just, you know, yeah, because you can't compare. Like if my dad, on his 40th birthday, if he was on a flight to New Zealand where people who know him were going to go to his show, that's a crazy thing too. That's as crazy as you have a 13-year-old who's running around your 40th birthday in a little bar mitzvah suit.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Okay, wait, so what would you like to tell your future wife? One day, your future wife is going to listen to this episode. Hi. I don't know what I... Hi, Mrs. Freed.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I'm someone who gives my opinion on dating, and I think people...
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Hey.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You don't know him yet, or maybe you do.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I'm sorry for whatever I have done without my knowledge for doing it.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Aww.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Sorry. Whatever way I made you mad, my bad.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
That was my whole... Every time I'm in a relationship, I'm like, you're mad about that? Like that's, I'm bad, I don't know. I turn every fight into a joke. That's like, yeah.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I do that too, where I just avoid it altogether. One of my favorite memes is the one where it's like, well you can say it in a boy or a guy or girl's voice, but it's like, somewhere my wife My future wife is sitting there pretending to laugh at her lame-ass boyfriend. Don't worry, queen. A true clown is coming for you. That's you.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
like it because I care about the people listening and I'm never going to be dishonest with them and I'm also going to sound icky because I'm giving them the truth I don't have to make eye contact with the person I'm telling what's going on that's the beauty of a podcast I can speak so much more honest than the person you're dating and my perspective is I'm always going to speak personally and
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
All right.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Farts and hearts. You got it. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you, thank you. It was fun.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
My belief is that we're all 10% away from each other. If I feel something, the person you're dealing with isn't 100% feeling a different thing. They might be 10% different to one side or the other, but I'm pretty close. So I had a situation where I was on a date and the person showed me a picture of someone they thought I looked like. And I thought that was a very interesting predicament.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Hello, pleasers. Welcome back. Are you up? Because I am. And so is my next guest. So I have on Jared Freed, who is an amazing New York-based comedian and host of his very own podcast, You Up, where he gives literally the best dating advice for the girlies. And in this episode, you're going to need some tissues, not for tears, because I literally die laughing. He's so funny.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I don't want to be shown who I look like. I don't think most people want to be shown, especially on a date, so they're like, oh my God, you have the same... They said you have the same vibe, you have the same this, you have the same... Was it like a friend or a cousin or something? It was like a friend's husband, and then they brought up the picture, and I was like...
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Again, I just don't think... This person could be offended that someone thought I looked like them. Again, it can go all ways. It's hard to say that you were like... Again, I just don't want to be shown who I look like on a date. It kind of takes away the special nature of us getting together. I'm kind of like... I brought that to the podcast.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I think that's like an interesting... Like, what would you do? You know, so... If someone was afraid of dating me, I would totally understand that. Like, I'm not for everyone... Just like anyone is not for anyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a scenario you would have to deal with because... Listen, we all have opinions and we all make judgements, and everyone's judging. No one cares, everyone judges.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
So no one's holding onto it the rest of their life, but they go, oh, I got shown what I look like, I don't think I'm gonna go on day two.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Has someone ever contacted you after, even if you did keep it classy and very general? This person. So after you talked about it on the pod, then she talked?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
So then I see them a month later, and they're like, so-and-so isn't ugly. And I'm like, what?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I saw them in person. And they're like, if I showed you Brad Pitt, you wouldn't care. I go, well, you didn't. I was like, that's not how it went. And I would go, I don't look like him. It's a waste of time. Again, that's why dating podcasts are fun. I enjoy unpacking those things. I'm going to give how I feel on it. It's okay for someone to disagree. Yeah.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
So, yeah, people – I've gotten messages from people, and I've been at bars. I had another instance where someone was like, you talked about me. And I – again, here's the thing. Men who talk about their dating life – there's not a lot of straight men who talk about their dating life.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
On social media.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
It's not a big win for us.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
So you have to be nuanced or else you sound like incel Joe Rogan asshole.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And I don't – so that's why I think my podcast, You Up, if people find it, they love it. But it's hard to find people for us. I think we have the best dating podcast that exists. I don't think there's a place where you're going to get a more honest conversation. I don't think there's a place where you're going to have fun with dating in the way we have fun with it and laugh.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And we have a mostly female audience.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I was going to ask. Isn't it mostly from what I've heard? It's always girls being like, oh my god, I love it. I'm going to a show and I love his advice and things like that. It's honest and it's real, but it's not like... I don't know, again, the POV, it's not that it's not tough love. It's not tough love. You keep it honest. But I feel like it's just this perspective.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
It's just coming from a voice that is a non-toxic male, which is rare nowadays.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
It's rare because you're rewarded for toxicity on social media.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And we talk about everything, everything in dating and relationships, the good, the bad, the ugly, and the farts. Hello, welcome to Please See Below, my brand new podcast all about perfecting the art of oversharing. Here, we mention the unmentionables and talk about topics and things that no one wants to say out loud, but everyone is desperate to know.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And listen, I'm not going to say I'm a hero. That's the other thing. I never go on this podcast and say, I've done exactly what every guy has written about. I've done everything that's written out into the show. When someone's like, this guy goes to what happened. I can give a perspective because I've done it. I'm not proud of that. But also, that's the thing. My job is to be...
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
But you wouldn't be able to give advice if you didn't have that experience yourself. Then you would just be like, well, according to my ethics guide, you know, I would be doing X, Y. It's like, no, you speak from experience and the lessons you learned and that's the whole purpose. And you're vulnerable.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You know, like we have people that come on, go meet someone in a grocery store. Are you out of your fucking mind? Yeah. When I go to a grocery store, that is my most meditative time of day. I put my headphones in. The AC is up. I'm walking around. I'm dreaming of how healthy and the abs I'm going to have. This is like me time. The idea that I'm going to go bother someone, it can happen.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I hit on a guy at Whole Foods, someone who worked there.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You hit on someone?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Like a year ago at the salad bar. But this is the thing. He wasn't having it.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Everything has happened. In the series of how can people meet, people have met in every single way you can meet. So to sit there and go, go to a grocery store, okay, I guess there are people that have that story. I wouldn't count on that story.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Where do you like to meet people? Online or in real life? Do you approach? Are you one of the approachers? Do you hit, like, do you...
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Pick girls up. Here's the thing. I would rather meet someone in real life. I would rather be introduced to someone. I think most people want to be fixed up.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And most people say they don't want to be fixed up because people who fix you up do it wrong.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
They do it without thinking of how vulnerable you're being by asking to be fixed up.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I've actually requested friends to fix me up and they're like, no, no, no, no, you wouldn't like them. I'm like, let me decide.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Do it like contactless delivery. Leave the bag at the door and let me take the bag.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Or I get so irritated when I would be on like Raya or something like that or on Instagram and I see someone who's obviously single who like I'm just physically attracted to and I'll message a friend and I'll be like, where has he been? Like, how? This guy is your friend and single. Like, hello, over here. What's their deal? Yeah, yeah. And they're like, oh, yeah, I never thought about him for you.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Like, I guess people aren't necessarily thinking, like, who can we set you up with constantly? But still, it's like, get in there. And then again, it's always, I don't know if you, I don't, like, that's not up to you.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Well, people don't want to feel responsible for it. They don't want to be responsible for your feelings. They don't want to, like, have you get mad at them because this guy treated you wrong. They know that this guy might not be looking good. But I think it's okay to say to your friend, hey, what's their deal? I think they're cute. Give me the rundown. As opposed to, why haven't you?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I think friends, everyone's living their own life.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah, listen, the reason ours is mostly women is women work on this. Women want to get better at dating. The women that listen to you up, they're successful, they're highly educated, successful women who are killing it in every part of their life, and then they're like, why is this thing giving me an issue?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
And I think my job is to not make it personal and kind of give an answer to that and make you a better buyer. And I think no one wants to waste their time, and I can tell right away if there's a time being wasted, and I can put myself... And when I give advice, like, what do you know, Jared? I know what would work on me.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
So me being normal guy that you're dating, five, eight and a half on my right leg, you'll be able to figure out... right away by the way they act based on what I tell you to do.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Yeah. Oh, that's so interesting. Okay, wait. So in real life or... Either way doesn't matter. But you're just not picking people up at the grocery store. Maybe Barry.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I think the advice sucks. I just think like... A lot of times when I talk about... We have a thing called the reveal. People ask, I want to have the talk with someone. The talk, to me, I can get out of the talk. If a woman came to me and was like, what's going on? Let's have the talk. I can go on and on and say nothing. I'm really good at saying nothing and sounding like we're still dating.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Today, I am joined by the amazing Jared, Jared Freed. Jared is the co-host of You Up, a popular dating podcast going on for what, seven? Seven years, yeah. Seven years, 37 in singles.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
You mean you're saying a lot, but there's no substance to what you're saying.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
No substance, and that's what most men do. They want to feel comfortable. They don't want to feel uncomfortable. They don't have a real answer to what the next step is. They haven't thought that far ahead, which all you're doing is thinking that far ahead. So I always say do the reveal. Like speak in I terms. And like this is, again, everything I say is diet and exercise. You're like, of course.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Like I'm not a genius. I'm state school, public school dummy. So I always say like if you're enjoying someone's, it takes vulnerability. That's hard to do. But you go, if you're dating someone three months and you say to them, hey, I've deleted the apps. If you met on the apps, hey, I've deleted the apps. I'm concentrating on what we have here. I really like you. Like, then shut the fuck up.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Don't say another word. Because the person on the other side now knows what page in the book you are on.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
They know exactly where you stand. No app. You're concentrating on just me.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Okay? I would feel very uncomfortable dating someone.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
As a man.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
As a man. Personally, I would feel very uncomfortable being in bed with someone. who has just told me that they have deleted the apps while on the apps myself, being on a different page.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
Versus her being like, what are we? Right. Are you on the apps?
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I'm revealing I am with you.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
But you're not having any sort of expectation or request or requirement of the other person. Just say nothing. Here's where I'm at.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
That person on the other side is either going to break up with you or have a talk with you themselves. They're gonna do it. It's gonna take a day, a week, it won't take a month. And I'm speaking towards, and I think what happens in dating is we think of the extremes. We think of the guy who has another family, we think of the douchebag on TikTok who's screaming at you.
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Tight Fives and Red Flags: Dating in NYC With Jared Freid
I think most people are just normal. I want to eat, sleep, drink, and fuck.