Jamie Hess
Appearances
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
Well, I was a publicist for my whole 20s and I was born to be a PR girl. Like I was just born to do it. I loved that job, but I was always fighting against myself because PR, as you can maybe imagine, I don't know if you know a lot about the world of public relations, but especially in New York City, it's like champagne and cocaine and models and bottles. And that's just what it is, you know?
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
And it was a very easy job for me to lose myself in. I was doing a lot of nightclub and hospitality hotels, you know, PR for those types of places. I was out all the time. You felt like you had to be out like doing drugs in the bathroom with the writers from page six, because that's like how you got further in your career. And it's like, it was hard.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
It was very hard to get sober in that environment. For a couple of years, I was actually the publicist for Crowbar, which is the biggest nightclub in New York, Chicago, Miami. So like literally in the belly of the beast. So there was a lot of... And I think this happens to a lot of addicts. You get your whole identity wrapped up in that. Without the drugs, am I even me anymore?
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
Because am I even a publicist? Am I even cool? Am I even part of New York nightlife? When I came out on the other side, I really had to give myself a little time to get my sea legs. And to be honest, I had to take a little time away. I went back to my sport. Fun side note, I'm a horseback rider. So I had to... Burn it to the ground and build it back up.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
I took three years to go teach riding to young women and go back to the working outdoors and getting dirty and working with animals. And then after three years, I woke up and I was like, okay. I'm ready to go home. I was in LA at the time. I'm ready to go back. And I came back to New York and I hit the ground running.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
What happened on the other side of that is the part I always tell when I'm up keynote speaking, which is this incredible, I started falling up. And it was not even, I didn't get any new accreditations. I didn't learn any new skills, but as a by-product of showing up, as a new, different, whole version of myself because I did the work.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
And the work, again, the work wasn't something I could do in like a six-week workshop. What you're hearing me say is I went to rehab and took three years to rebuild myself from the ground up, dismantling my identity from New York City nightlife, rebuilding my ego and my place in the world. And then I came back, by the way, to my high-power career. I didn't have to give it up.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
I had to build myself back into a place where I came there, not a shell of a person, but a whole person.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
And so I start following up. So I start getting promoted. By the way, three-year employment gap. Had to explain that. Came back after teaching little girls how to ride ponies for three years. And I was like, I'd like to be a high-powered publicist. And they're like, what about the last three years, babe?
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
Side note for anybody wondering, I got all my high-powered friends, editors, writers, celebrity friends of mine, to write a little blurb about what it had been like to work with me in my early days of PR. to show a testament, you know, hey, she's been out of it for a couple of years, but this is someone who, so where there's a will, there's a way is what I'm saying.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
Got myself a job and started falling up. And I believe it's because I came to work every day with a humble spirit of gratitude. Everyone else in the office was doing what people in offices do. The West Coast office was fighting with the East Coast office and all the PR girls were being catty and they were fighting with each other. And I was just happy to be there.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
And the reason I was just happy to be there was because I know that it didn't have to go down like that. that I potentially should have been dead. And by showing up as this different person, people just, it was magnetic. It was magnetic. And within three years, I got promoted from account executive to senior account executive, to managing director, to VP, to SVP.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
I met my now husband who, I'll borrow this from Dr. Phil, I believe that relationships aren't 50-50, they're 100-100. And both of us had done the work to become full people. In fact, when I was set up with him, my girlfriend who set us up said, Jamie, why don't you have a boyfriend? I said, because I'm happy. She was like, well, I want to set you up with my friend, George.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
I said, fine, I'll meet your friend, George. And then fast forward, here we are 13 years later with two kids. But all of that happened because I showed up as a different version of me, not from a place of lack, but from a place of abundance.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
I'm amazing.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
I would love to say that I'm an expert in balance, but I don't sleep very much. And what I'm going to be honest about is that's a terrible, terrible thing to sacrifice. So what I'm working on. as we go into 2025, is setting better boundaries. I would very much recommend for any solopreneurs out there having a business coach of some ilk.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
I'm feeling amazing. And I very much believe in the reticular activating system of our brain. So I've taken to saying I'm amazing. I've taken to saying, you know, as I'm walking down the stairs in the morning and my mind wants to say, You know, oh, I'm so tired. It's so early. I say, wow, why is everything so amazing? Why does everything work out for me? How is my life so incredible today?
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
I am a business coach for other people, but I also have a business coach. And the reason is because when I started as an entrepreneur, I was like, wow, now I don't have to also, I was always side hustling while I was in the corporate job. I was like, now that I don't have this corporate ball and chain, I'm going to get everything off the ground in the first 90 days.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
I'm going to write seven books and speak on 90 stages and be on TV. And guess how many things I got done, Mick?
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
Zero. Zero. Because I was trying to do everything at once. So it was like that old meme, like I have 15 tabs in my brain open, one's playing music and I don't know which one is which. Nothing was actually going across the finish line. I think that prioritizing and setting boundaries is really important.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
So for me, also at the end of the year, having kind of like a bit of a come to Jesus, looking at my P&L, which projects did I put the most time into and were those the most profitable? And if not, We got to fix that. You know what I mean? So I would say for me, honestly, I do believe energy begets energy. I just keep going. I'm very ambitious, but I also do a lot of things that I just love.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
So truly none of them feel like work, but I should also manage myself as a wellness expert. And I started this whole game as a wellness influencer. I should manage myself, care a little better and make sure I sleep as well.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
The science says that you're not going to live as long. So my concern for you and for me, by the way, is that I also feel okay after not sleeping as long. However, it's like literal brain damage. So it is important to try to get eight hours of sleep as an adult, and I'm not accomplishing it. One thing I would suggest maybe getting a tracker, like an aura or an ultra-human ring,
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
Another product I was introduced to recently, and this is not an ad, it's called Beacon 40. It's like a light that you put in front of your face and you stare into this light and it helps with the part of your brain that essentially is kind of cleansed when you sleep and it kind of helps repair some of that. So now that I think we should just be biohacking it and not sleeping...
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
But I do believe that you should at least pay attention to your sleep, pay attention to your brain, because it concerns me when I don't sleep. Because I do know the science. Even if I feel somewhat okay, part of self-care and your body replenishing, especially if you're exercising and working out, is sleep.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
Acts of service. Okay. When I went into recovery and my sponsor, I would just – I'm stuck in my head and I'm having cravings and I'm having anxiety. She was like, I totally understand. That can be hard. You should reach out your hand and help another alcoholic. I was like, I don't think you heard me, ma'am. I said, me. I'm having a problem. I'm having these problems. She was like, yes.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
And the more you call it out like that, the more you believe it.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
So you should go help someone else. I was like, no comprendo. What are you talking about? No. It was news to me. It was news to me that the only way to get out from between my two ears was to go help somebody else, to go be of service. We build self-esteem by doing esteemable acts. It's why the first thing they teach you in rehab is to like make your bed every day, right?
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
Like by having structure, discipline, and doing things that make us feel complete and pride, we build self-esteem. So if you're waking up every morning and you're just feeling like I can't get to a place of gratitude, I'm just having a hard time getting my two feet on the ground and feeling good, go be of service. Go help somebody else.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
Because I'm telling you, it's the life hack that people don't realize. And the problem is it's not because people aren't good people. We want to help each other, but we're just so busy. But when you're so busy and overwhelmed is exactly when you need to go be of service.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
And you don't have to go work in a soup kitchen. You could just call a friend you haven't talked to in a while and say, how you doing?
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
That's it.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
Totally. We have so much ego and it's hard to just say, you know what? I'm having, I'm struggling. I'm having a hard time. And, um, you know, a lot of people wait until it's too late, right, to raise their hand. But the reality is when you get the thing that's troubling you out of your head, saying something out loud takes so much of the power away from it, like so much.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
And anytime I've had, you know, a struggle, whether it was addiction, whether I had an eating disorder that cropped back up, even in my active recovery, I've been sober for many years, but I had an eating disorder that cropped back up, you know, after I had had kids and I had to
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
stand in that doorway of my living room, looking at my husband on the couch, being like, am I going to go have this conversation right now? And I did it. And the second you do it, the second you tell somebody else, hey, I'm not okay. You think everything's going to get worse, but everything gets better. Everything gets better as soon as you brought somebody else in.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
So this is why I believe the power of hyperlocal accountability of just reaching out and saying, I need to fix this, or I need some help, or I need to, you know, can you help me? Magic.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
That's a trick question because I don't cook, but... You know, butter and jelly.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
It's a trick question.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
My husband is the chef in our family. He did not marry me for my domestic goddess skills. But let me tell you, I have other things that I do well. We have our lanes.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
Scheduling our family and just keeping, I run my house like I run my business, like an absolute maniac. But I think that that's the key to having kids. I truly like lack of chaos. We are, you asked me what we're doing next June. I got you. We're booked. We're good.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
But it de-stresses the whole family because they know mom's got, I know dad's got dinner, but mom's got, you know, the plane tickets for, you know, for spring. In a relationship, you have to have your lanes. And by the way, they may not look like the gender lanes from the 50s, and that's okay.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
I mean, I really disclosed it earlier, but it's like, it's just yelling at me loud in my head. It's the only answer I can give, which is setting professional boundaries. I think that when you are a mom, you're always going to live in a bit of mom guilt. But I'm very careful to tell my kids, just because I work this hard doesn't mean you're any less important.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
It just means that work's important and so are you. And we all learn balance.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
Well, this is always kind of my fun mic drop moment because usually people read a description of the podcast episode or they read my bio. And I've done a lot of cool things as an adult. But the fun mic drop moment is that I was an addict and alcoholic. And growing up, wow, I made life hard for myself. I made it hard. I made it dark. And I didn't see any other way out.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
They can head over to coachjamiehess.com. That's where my coaching program is. Gratitudology.com or you can find the Gratitudology podcast anywhere podcasts can be listened to. In fact, you can also text the word gratitude to 33777 and you'll get the links to listen. And you can also find me on Instagram at Jamie Hess.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
Ditto, my friend.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
And the interesting thing about recovery is that they say that addiction is the only disease that once you get the treatment, you actually end up better on the other side. Like if you have cancer and you go into remission from cancer, you just go back to not having cancer. But with addiction, when you do the work in recovery, you come out a different person on the other side.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
And everything that I learned about gratitude, about having a daily spiritual practice, about not being a victim and taking accountability for things and having integrity, that That was all news to me. Like that was like a blueprint for living I didn't have. And so my why, my because, because I got sober and because I learned a new way of living.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
And as a byproduct, I got this understanding that an attitude of gratitude is the heartbeat of happiness.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
Well, you know, it's really easy to have this big philosophical idea that, like, we should be grateful. But what does that actually break down to? Like, that's hard. And so how do we appreciate appreciation? How do we remain in abject gratitude for our very breath? And that does come down to the moments. You are absolutely right. It's really how we talk to ourselves.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
You know, I've done a lot of cool things as an adult, but the fun mic drop moment is that I was an addict and alcoholic. And growing up, wow, I made life hard for myself. I made it hard. I made it dark. And I didn't see any other way out.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
At the end of the day, I believe that it comes down to how we talk to ourselves because, you know, a lot of people compartmentalize. We read self-help books. And then in that moment when we read the self-help book, we're inspired to be grateful. Or we give advice to others. And in that moment, we're inspired to give somebody else advice to just, you know, really sit back and things could be worse.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
And there's starving children in another country and you're here and hey, things are pretty good and be grateful for that. And it's like, that's not enormously helpful. People used to tell me when I was younger and in my addiction. Like, what are you doing? Like, you just be grateful. Like, you have a nice life. My mother is TV journalist Joan Lunden.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
I grew up with a nice life and they weren't wrong. But let me tell you something, Mick. Guess how much that helped me, them telling me just knock it off and be grateful. Zero. That didn't help me. In fact, it made me feel more shame. I'm like, oh my God, they're right. I have a good and I'm privileged and here I am completely blowing everything. I really am a loser.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
And then I went and used more because like, who wants to live in that? Easier to escape. Okay. So how do we actually sink into gratitude? Well, it's, It's actually simpler than you think, but it's actually a little more annoying than you think. You see, what I always say is the work doesn't really feel like the work when you're in it. It just feels like a series of minor inconveniences, right?
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
We all like to say, I'm doing the work. I'm doing the deep. I'm doing the work. Are you? Because the work doesn't feel like anything profound. It feels like in that moment when you walk into the bathroom and look in the mirror and you call yourself fat saying, ah, ah, ah. We don't talk to ourselves like that. That is a beautiful woman or a beautiful man I see in front of me. I am fabulous.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
I'm in my power. I'm in my presence. I am a child of God. That's the work. That's literally the work. It is stopping yourself in those micro moments and saying, come on, get back grounded, pull that leash back. We're going to get back in gratitude.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
Well, there's a reason they call it a practice, right? You have to practice. It's not intuitive. And in fact, I would challenge that it's the opposite. So our brains are actually wired the way that our neurochemistry is wired. We are wired to look for the bad, the problems, something that might attack us, the saber tooth tiger. It is what kept us alive as a species.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
However, what happened or what didn't happen is our brain didn't evolve out of that. In other words, you're not looking to escape a saber-toothed tiger all day. It's not coming. You're good.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
But what we do instead is we react that same way to, you know, the judgmental email from a client or the unhappy email from our boss or the side eye from a coworker or, you know, a weird, you know, kind of glance from our partner or loved one. And all of a sudden we feel attacked. we fall under siege and we get fight or flight. So it's really about having a practice.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
So you have a little bit of armor so that intuitively, because here's the thing, I don't always do the gratitude or the positive self-talk or the taking a moment thing perfectly. But I do it a lot more intuitively now. I do it a lot better now than I used to. And that came from a practice. The practice is, for me, a couple of those simple things.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
Well, you know, it's really easy to have this big philosophical idea that like we should be grateful. But what does that actually break down to? Like that's hard.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
I really hate when people who talk about gratitude come on and just say, here's what you do. You do a gratitude list of three things in the morning. Like, we get it, Pam. We get it. You know? Like, okay. Okay. but gratitude list, great place to start. I will say this, my good friend, Chris Shembra, who's another gratitude expert.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
He said, you know, everybody in marketing, like has to have something they're for or against, like in the marketing of their own brand, you know, like I'm for this and I'm against this. He goes, you want to know what I'm against? I said, what Chris? He goes, gratitude journals. I said, okay, Frank, give it to me. Tell me, why are you against gratitude journals?
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
He said, because I feel that everyone's been sold a lie that this cottage industry of gratitude journals is the thing, is the gratitude. And why he's saying that is that gratitude is also a pro-social exercise. So by sitting... in your head, in your bed, and writing down three things, it is a good start. It's not a bad place to start.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
But by thinking that's the beginning and the end of a gratitude practice, I think is short-sighted. So gratitude is a pro-social approach. The more that we can profess it, the more that we can say that, you know, especially as leaders, we forget, it's very easy to tell people what they're doing wrong, right? But it's harder to remember to tell people, hey, you know, I had a boss.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
My last time I was employed, by the way, I mean- I'm employed, but the last time I was employed by a company, and now I'm an entrepreneur. The last time I had a boss. Now I have clients. It's a whole different set of problems, but I had a boss, right? And two bosses, female-founded company. It was the best place I ever worked. I worked there for the last seven years of my corporate career.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
I was an SVP of a big agency. They never failed to, you know, if you were doing a great job, I would just get an email saying, hey, Jamie, we just want to let you know you have really been crushing it lately, and it has not gone unnoticed. Here's a $250 gift card to go get a massage. Enjoy. And I was floored. And my mom used to say, they are so smart.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
You know, the stupid $250, it costs them nothing. You're never going to leave that company. I said, you're right. because I feel appreciated. And that goes so far, but it also boomerangs back to the appreciator, right? Because this is like a goodwill boomerang that we're doing here. So there's a lot of different ways that we show and express and receive and profess gratitude throughout a day.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
I do like a gratitude list. I think it's a good pen to paper exercise, but I'll tell you, Mick, sometimes when I'm just having a hard moment, I will go, this is, I call it either bathroom prayer. I'll go in the bathroom and say the serenity prayer, or I'll just like pop on YouTube on my phone and type in like Gratitude meditation, five minutes and do the first one that comes up.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
Well, there's a reason they call it a practice, right? You have to practice. It's not intuitive. And in fact, I would challenge that it's the opposite. So our brains are actually wired the way that our neurochemistry is wired. We are wired to look for the bad, the problems, something that might attack us, the saber-toothed tiger. It is what kept us alive as a species.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
It's just about getting in the habit of taking a contrary action.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
Well, thank you. And I think it's a great point. It's a great point. And I think it's hard for people sometimes to stay in gratitude in general when they're going through a rough time. That's obviously when we need it most, but that's when most people start to slip and be like, you know what? Everything isn't great, you know? And you just want to lean into like, woe is me.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
And that's honestly why I started my podcast, Mick, is because my podcast, so I had another podcast for four years prior to this one and it was great. It was a I co-hosted it with a couple other well-known women in wellness, and it was called Off the Gram, and it was everything at the intersection of wellness and social media.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
It was a chat show, and it was fun, but I really wanted to do deep, immersive audio theater storytelling, audio narrative with sound design and narration and telling these great stories. And I love true crime, but I don't. Ever since I became a mom, I became a wimp.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
Like I used to love 48 hours and Dateline, but like I, and I love true crime podcasts, but like, I don't want it to end with like, and her body was found in a ditch. It's like, now that I'm a mom, I'm too protective to like deal with that. I'm like, especially when it's about kids.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
So I was like, how can I take people through a story like that where there's like a cliffhanger and you're like, what's going to happen next? And then leave them with a really motivational outcome. That would be nice, right? So my why, my because, the answer to the question you asked me earlier was my addiction. I went through addiction. I went to a really dark place.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
And then as a byproduct, I got better. I gained gratitude and it's fueled my success going forward. And as I went to more entrepreneurial conferences and summits, I realized every eight, nine figure entrepreneur has the same story. Any celebrity thought leader, we all have our why story. Something happened. It taught us a great lesson, usually along the way.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
And then we came out on the other side, a different person. So each episode, each week, I tell the story of one person. I go and interview them and I do almost all my interviews in person. So I am flying around the country with a crew, sitting with these people because I just want to be heart to heart, eyeball to eyeball and hear it.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
And I mean, I've had people like Rainn Wilson and Nev Schulman from Catfish and Gabby Bernstein. I mean, such cool people. And we get into their story and I tell it in a way where you feel like you're listening to an audio book. But the goal is to show people that if they are going through that hard process, point in their life right now.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
Not only is it not the end, like we always have to see the darkness before the brightest light. What might be on the other side of that? If you play your cards right, right? If you lean into it, lean into the suck because there's something to be learned there. What's on the other side of that is amazing. And so I really believe that's a big part of gratitude is like almost the disruptive part.
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
It's really easy to be grateful when everything's
Mick Unplugged
Jamie Hess | Cultivating Resilience: Jamie Hess's Story of Addiction, Recovery, and Gratitude
But learning to be grateful for the parts that suck because you know that they're there to teach you a big lesson. I think that's like gratitude. You know, the rest is gratitude 101. This is like AP gratitude.